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69. Hitting the books (again!)
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This week we reflected on some of the most impactful books we’ve read as adults, and some of the biggest lessons we were able to learn from them.
Referenced in this episode:
Buy Yourself The Fucking Lilies, by Tara Schuster
Glow In The Fucking Dark, by Tara Schuster
On Trails, by Robert Moor
Weave The Liminal, by Laura Tempest Zakroff
Bad Childhood, Good Life, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? By Karyl McBride, PhD
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Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde
Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock
Editing: Molly Wilde
Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.
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Transcript
A Rough Day and Holiday Anticipation
00:00:22
Speaker
Hallelujah.
00:00:25
Speaker
Yay! It's a rough fucking day. It's rough day. um Yeah, both of us have not been feeling great. Unfortunately. We're getting close to Yule and I'm super excited about yeah ah Christmas break, dude.
00:00:42
Speaker
Two weeks. oh my god need it so fucking bad. Oh my god. I wish that i could have... I mean, like I get days off yeah around Christmas and New Year's, but... I wish I could have like two whole weeks just like you. Yeah.
00:00:57
Speaker
That would be ideal.
Holiday Pay and School District Work
00:00:58
Speaker
Perks of working for a school district. Yeah. The only drawback being that you have to use your PTO to like cover those days no get to still get paid. Only three of the ten Really? Yeah. Only three of the ten are paid.
00:01:16
Speaker
um Okay. I thought it was all of them. No. We have like. Which ones are not paid? Like the two days after Christmas or something. I don't remember. And then like January 2nd or something like that.
00:01:31
Speaker
but But like we always get holiday pays. So we're always going to get paid like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. But like in our contract, it's like, you know, like there's other, you know, most of the other days get paid as well. Okay.
00:01:48
Speaker
And you know, what's crazy is like back in the day, Before the economy collapsed in 2008, like we were paid for like what used to be, we used to call Easter break. Now it's called spring break or whatever.
00:02:03
Speaker
We used to get paid for all five of those days plus good Friday. And now I don't think we get paid. We don't get paid for that week off at all. Jeez. And I think they took Good Friday away as well, but I don't remember now offhand. Gross. They took away so much um like so many days for us that used to be paid are
Health Struggles and Time Perception
00:02:31
Speaker
no longer paid.
00:02:32
Speaker
Yeah. It's crappy. and Yeah. Anyway. But yeah only are not paid, can use my three are not paid so i can use i can use my My leave, my discretionary days as they're called.
00:02:50
Speaker
Yeah. To cover those. Nice. ya Good. But what was i going to say? i don't know.
00:03:01
Speaker
Anyway, we don't feel good. It is coming up and yeah, we don't feel great. ah Neither of us and for different reasons too. Yeah. But like um it is Christmas Eve is two weeks from tomorrow.
00:03:15
Speaker
Yeah. Which banana town crazy pants. Yes, it is. What the hell? It feels like it was. I mean, it really was like two weeks ago but I was headed out to Detroit.
00:03:28
Speaker
No shit, dude. I know. It's crazy. Yeah. Time flies. It's like, insanely I guess over the last couple of years, because Thanksgiving has been like the last couple days of, uh,
00:03:42
Speaker
november each year um it has been like like only four weeks apart between thanksgiving and christmas yeah so yeah yeah that makes it feel like faster than yeah but like well i guess it will be that way for the next couple of years too because It's only when, because Thanksgiving is always exactly the fourth Thursday of November. And so it' it lands earlier in the month when there happens to be a fifth Thursday in November. You know? Yeah.
Thanksgiving Origins and Historical Context
00:04:20
Speaker
So, like, that won't be for another couple of years. How did you figure that out? How did I figure what out? How Thanksgiving...
00:04:31
Speaker
Like how they how they schedule Thanksgiving on the calendar. i was like taught it as an elementary schooler. oh wow. it was it was It's always the fourth Thursday of November.
00:04:44
Speaker
i don' think Which is sometimes the last Thursday, sometimes the second to last Thursday. Right. Depending. um But yeah, so ah like I don't even remember what the context i think it was that we were being taught like the actual origins of thanksgiving that was not the pilgrims lie story that we were all told as children hu um but the actual which again you know at this point i'm like i feel like we should question everything we were ever taught in elementary school in america but uh i do remember being taught like the actual origin of thanksgiving was a woman in like abe lincoln's era
00:05:26
Speaker
who wrote to the president and said like we should have a day of giving thanks and i propose it should be the fourth thursday of each november um and he liked the idea he thought it was good and important to give thanks and so he implemented it as a national holiday i could be wrong and um I could be wrong. I don't know you all. It's very easy to Google it. yeah But I just have not and don't feel like it right now. ah But that is my take on it. And if anybody knows that that is irrefutably wrong, please feel free to email us and tell us. ah yeah
00:06:04
Speaker
But also, if you know for sure that we're correct, ah feel free to email us and tell us as well. Because in all likelihood, I'm going to forget to Google it until the next time I think about it. Because ADHD.
Health Updates and Influential Books
00:06:16
Speaker
you know yeah so fish is a yeah so that's I remember being taught that and therefore knowing that was ah how Thanksgiving was scheduled every year but yeah so Christmas is coming up really really fast and I have to do shopping and stuff yeah and you yeah you know yeah Um, yeah.
00:06:47
Speaker
And if I'm not feeling great tomorrow, then I'm not going to, I mean, I'm not going to call out of work, but I'm going to work from home again. And that's going to end up resulting in me missing the Christmas, the company Christmas dinner. Aw. Which I, frankly, i don't think I'd be too bummed out about because...
00:07:12
Speaker
i don't know. I just the last three years I've had like actually every year I've had like a buddy. What do you mean? Like a friend. Like a friend at work? Like a work friend. Yeah. yeah And like I it's not that I dislike anybody in particular ah that I work with. But like all the people I've been buddies with, you know, or actual friends with are not there anymore. Wow. Wow.
00:07:41
Speaker
And so that's crazy i'm like, part of me kind of doesn't mind if I have to miss it. And also, it would save me from having to, like, scrounge up a ah Yankee Swap gift ah last minute, which...
00:07:59
Speaker
I am currently, I'm just like, okay, do I try to get something together just in case I happen to feel fine in the morning? um Because I don't want to be scrounging in the morning for sure.
00:08:10
Speaker
Yeah, I'm gonna
Work Responsibilities Amidst Illness
00:08:15
Speaker
run out of time. But like... I don't know. I also should be in the office tomorrow. This is irrelevant. Nobody cares. I should be in the office tomorrow because I have checks to deposit.
00:08:26
Speaker
Maybe. I might have. But I also don't know. And fuck it. I don't know. who Anyway. What is life?
00:08:37
Speaker
don't like being queasy. But oh well. It is what it is. It's like food poisoning kind of. I think probably.
00:08:50
Speaker
you know it's awful gas station food finally finally exacted its revenge on me Yeah, it's like all that shit you said to me when I was sick. But i love the thing is, that really was my lived experience. it You're like, I have an iron stomach. I can eat anything. It's coming to bite you in the You know how much I have eaten from gas stations and been absolutely fine? I'm sure. Dare I say even fantastic? Fantastic.
00:09:21
Speaker
yeah and today was the day your body's telling you guess what this shit is not good for you yeah or rather like i just happened to finally catch a bad batch of something yeah you know i don't know but whatever it's not the worst it could be for sure oh yeah like knock on wood but yep it's definitely not uh definitely not as bad as it could be but it's no big deal like at the end of the day like it'll work its way out of my system and i'll be okay in the end so
00:09:59
Speaker
amen sister amen so to that end as you probably have already been able to tell
Impact of Books on Personal Growth
00:10:10
Speaker
we are a little not on top of our game today and a little meandery ah but yeah i will say we have therefore given ourselves a little bit of slack today and we are revisiting a topic that is not even like it's an easy topic. This is our cop out episode. Uh, we're gonna, we're gonna talk about books again today. Yeah, dude.
00:10:45
Speaker
Yeah. And like, we'll see how it goes because it was also a last minute decision based upon how we were both feeling. Um, But i do know last time we talked about books, we kind of each interpreted the prompt differently yeah um where i thought we were talking about books that influenced us as adults like positively impacted our lives and k christina's interpretation was books that influenced us as children like like fiction books and such yeah um that had a major impact on us as kids and Which is the route we ended up going last time we did this, which was 59 whole episodes ago. Also, what's up? Welcome to episode 69.
00:11:37
Speaker
yeah ah Good on you for noticing that because i didn't. Isn't it fucking wild, dude? 69. What the hell?
00:11:48
Speaker
I love it, though. It's great. I'm yeah so here for it. Yeah. um Yeah. But yeah, 59 whole episodes ago because our book episode was episode number 10. Which was so long ago.
00:12:03
Speaker
And so I was whichs ago we're due we're due for ah We're due for a. Refresher on. Yeah. object um And you know obviously. Going to take it from. A different angle. ah You know the angle that.
00:12:19
Speaker
I initially interpret it to be. Yes. so Yes. Yeah and the books. Like I have one book in particular.
00:12:30
Speaker
that I had in mind initially last year when we first talked about books that I was going to talk about before I had to pivot and talk about childhood books instead. So I've got that in the, in the back of my mind to talk about. um And I'm sure that more will come to us as we discuss. Yeah. um I know you have, i mean, like, You always talk about how you like wish you had more time to read books, but you like also have still read a fair bit of you know, books and, you know, it could be books from years ago that you ah still remember and still like reflect on. Yeah. um That's the case for the one that I read because I read it Between like, I bought it at like the end of 2020, I think. And then I read it throughout 2021. So not like super long ago. but Are you concentrating on just one book or you talking about a few? I'm going to start with the one book and then see okay see where it takes me okay after that. Okay. what else I can remember that like really impacted me.
00:13:37
Speaker
Um, but yeah. Um, do you want me to start? Yes. Okay, cool. So the book that I have been, I guess, waiting over a year to talk about, ah the book that I read, like that is the first one that comes to mind when I think of, um,
00:14:03
Speaker
books that had positive impacts on me was called by yourself the fucking lilies by tara schuster yeah um and she she's a cool lady first of all she has a very easy to read writing style it's very casual so like some people find that hard to like digest or like hard to like follow or stick to because it's just so like she talks she she writes like she talks almost i assume i haven't actually listened to her speak extensively and i will say that i did start to read that book and i never finished it and i can't remember now how far in i got because it's it's a while naturally it's a good one because that's the one i want to talk about but right i will say like it is it's the kind of book that
00:14:59
Speaker
impacted me in such a way that i really truly had to um read a section of it and then put it down for a while and i had to like mull it over and then i had to be like ready and prepared to continue and read whatever you know was the next thing yeah that was going to be hitting me real hard, you know? Yeah. And i I'm really glad that you did it like that because it helped it like sink in you know? Yeah. It helps. It helped him immensely. And I actually like, I ended up taking it really seriously. Like it's not the kind of book that's like a workbook. I mean, it does sort of give you like, if I remember correctly, it does give you like reflection questions or like journal prompt type questions, like homework, quote unquote, um
00:15:55
Speaker
but not like in a very major structured way. um and it's not anything like a workbook. It's not anything like a, you know, you have to follow all of this, like exactly to a t it's very free form.
00:16:08
Speaker
um And, you know, it's just very much just like a, Hey, if you are taking this seriously, like here's some stuff to reflect on based on what we just talked about in this last chapter or whatever. um and But it even, it wasn't even that I like sat and like wrote out journal entries based upon the questions being asked or anything. Like I'm sure that I did occasionally, but I took like from the actual text, I took from like and her stories, her thoughts and things that she had like written out. Yeah, I would like take pieces of like
00:16:54
Speaker
the actual prose like the actual content of her chapters and like either you know write them out and like tape them up where i could see them which you know much like the homework assignment you gave me whenever that was how long however long ago that was i can't even remember where you told me to write i am worthy on like stickies and put them everywhere or whatever um it wasn't like that simple straightforward like i was like i was i i can't even remember the specifics it was years ago it was it was 2021 ish when i when i read that book um basically throughout that whole year actually so it's been a long time um but like i do remember
00:17:44
Speaker
you know, doing that. And I do remember like sitting and like reflecting a lot and like, like setting it, setting the book down, physically setting it down, and just like staring into space while I thought about things. And like, um, it was incredible to me the way that she writes. It just, it, it, um, it connected to me. Like it, it like really made me understand things that I had spent my entire life feeling incapable of like understanding on like a cellular level you know um like they very the very very big one like the biggest one that like actually like when i read it it felt like it hit me in the gut yeah
00:18:32
Speaker
was like i'm and i'm not gonna read i'm not gonna like regurgitate her stories like i'm gonna leave that for anybody who reads them to like who you know read and and catch the impact but like her anecdote about what she had to go through or like the the moment in her life when she realized that people are not perfect and because people are not perfect you cannot take anything personally yeah like people like it's i remember growing up my entire life that was like the hardest thing for me to like get my
00:19:17
Speaker
not only my brain around, but like my nervous system around. Yeah. Like, and when I say hardest thing, I mean, like it was impossible actually for me. It wasn't just like, Oh, this is a hard thing for me to do. It's like, no, I literally couldn't. People tell me all the time. Don't think, don't take things personally. And I like physically could not.
00:19:36
Speaker
I wished that I could, like I wanted to more than anything in the world, but it wasn't possible. Like it was my, my nervous system was just fucked up. Yeah. And like, i don't know, you know, I just like couldn't comprehend how it was possible for anybody to not take it like everything seriously or to everything, everything personally all the time. Right.
00:20:01
Speaker
And In the way that she laid out her experiences and laid out her own realizations,
00:20:12
Speaker
it was the final, like the, it was the thing that finally got me to like click into place. The, like, this is how you do it. And you do it by understanding that everybody is imperfect. Yeah.
00:20:31
Speaker
and everybody not everybody is even trying their best yeah right that is so true holy shit yeah yeah it's like you know and and for sure she you know the particular incident or the particular story she was telling was about her own father and like learning you know that he himself is an imperfect person and therefore could not show up perfectly for her even though she deserved it hu and you know her whole life she had taken it personally and the moment she realized he's just a guy yep like yep
00:21:19
Speaker
is when she realized like oh and yeah because take it personally the funny thing is i mean it's it's cool that it happened with her for for her with her father because most of us especially as kids always think that our parents are perfect Yeah. We idolize them that have no other frame of reference. Right. we were you know We rely on them for everything, so we have to assume that they know everything and that like yeah everything that they tell us, everything that they do for us is the absolute best that they can do or the best that they know. and like...
00:21:59
Speaker
it doesn't occur to a child that an adult can't do more yeah even if they should or that they could be wrong about something or that they simply aren't doing better even though they could yeah yeah you know um it's like it doesn't it can't occur to a kid to understand that um And nor ne it's it's so hard because it's like, kids deserve to be completely taken care of and to be...
00:22:38
Speaker
to feel secure all the time but they're like it's it's like never gonna fucking happen for anybody you know right like no parent is perfect and like it's the greatest tragedy of humanity to have to accept that Yeah.
00:22:59
Speaker
So like, or but it but it helped a lot for me in particular to like, especially, i mean, like her problems with her father were dramatically different than the problems I've had with my own mother.
00:23:13
Speaker
um But like the premise, the like basic, you know, lesson still hit home for me where I was. I mean, it's still been over the course of years for me to like, you know, come to complete terms with or come to like a better understanding for my own life about this lesson.
00:23:34
Speaker
But like it was the beginning of me understanding that no matter what. no matter what I've been through, like my mother is not a perfect person and can only do what she can do. And only that's, ah that's always been the case.
00:23:54
Speaker
And like nothing that I went through under her care was personal. Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:08
Speaker
um even though she was like projections yeah yeah oh my god and so you know to basically to be able to receive that lesson out of this book and have that begin a major shift in healing for me for a problem that had been a major problem my entire life was like that alone made the book worth its weight in gold, you know, to me.
00:24:43
Speaker
And so, yeah, so it just really, really deeply impacted me in a way that like actually stuck, you know, because I can,
00:24:54
Speaker
I can and have read so many books that like tell you, Oh, like this is the way to think. And like, it makes it so much easier and you're going to be fine. And i would read it and be like, yeah, this will, this will be so much better. Like my life is going to change. And then it like, doesn't.
00:25:11
Speaker
Yeah. Because like, I didn't, I like whatever it was, like it didn't cosmically click into place for me. you know i don't remember the author's name but i know there's that book that's i think it's called the subtle art of not giving a fuck oh yeah i remember reading that and being like i need this to like fix how i think and feel like so badly because me with my leo moon i give too many fucks all the time i care way too much and it hurts a lot did you read that whole book? I read the whole book and boy golly did it not change a thing for me.
00:25:51
Speaker
Oh wow. You know but maybe it's also just because the author was a very different person. Yeah. Like he he also had a very casual writing style but like it just didn't land the same way.
00:26:02
Speaker
Mm-hmm. So yeah, like still worth reading if you feel like that's something that you you would benefit from, you being the listener. But, you know, it just like it didn't actually change anything for me.
00:26:16
Speaker
Yeah, and know it's going to hit different for every person. who Yeah. and So yeah, definitely i would give it a shot if it's something you think you could. Yeah. I remember i was in I think it was 2017 when I was when I was reading this and I was in my healing journey at that time because when we, you know, zoom all the way out, my healing journey effectively started in like 2011. Um, when I started going to therapy.
Reading Challenges and Sharing Books
00:26:43
Speaker
Um, even though it was like, you know, just the beginning of like a unknowable, uh, scale of a project for allow me to try to figure out what was wrong with me.
00:27:00
Speaker
Um, I started that just being like, I should be fine. like oh yeah uh 14 years later just like i still don't i don't see the bottom yet like i don't know where the other end of this is yet but you know still it's worthwhile and i will say also tara schuster has a second book um that I have started and would like to keep reading and finish. But as ah our last week episode stated, i have very little free time lately and it's been hard to read. Audiobooks have been a godsend for that reason. Yeah. um
00:27:49
Speaker
Because I can listen while I work and I can listen while I drive. And neither of those things are ah times of the day where I can sit and read a book. So exactly maybe I'll grab the audio book, but I also really, I like reading books too. And I have, I physically have the book, the second book.
00:28:11
Speaker
um And so I want to finish it. Oh, it's called glow in the fucking dark. um I meant to say that when I first mentioned it, but yeah. um So, and it's good. It's like,
00:28:25
Speaker
It's cool because she like the time of like I so I read her first book, like i said, throughout 2021. ah And i don't know exactly when she started writing her second book, but she's like in so far she's talked about what went on for her through inspiration. you know, the initial COVID wave, which was when her first book was being like, you know, released and doing really well, like through like the 2020 COVID wave and then 2021, which was when I was reading her first book. So now I'm just like, oh yeah, it's like the sequel of her life. um
00:29:10
Speaker
But yeah, like I have not gotten very far, but I have had some pretty deep insights so far and actually so deep. that I don't even want to talk about them. From the second book of hers.
00:29:26
Speaker
This is the thing. And it's been so long since I have read like the first portion of it, like the first couple of chapters. But Christina, do you remember when i I think I like sent you a picture of like a portion of a page of that book.
00:29:49
Speaker
uh i think it was it had to have been last year some point um i think i took a picture of it and sent it to you and was just like this describes me to a t um it was like the afternoon it was like i had brought it to work with me the book and uh i sent it to you and then i had been like thinking about it all like the rest of the day um and as i was driving like after I left work and I was driving to my appointment I recorded a voice memo because I wanted to like explain uh what impacted me so much about like that section of that book okay that I had sent you and throughout the voice memo I devolved into hysterics and started to just like ball
00:30:42
Speaker
Because as I was recording this voice memo, I was realizing like some truths is about my life. huh And so like it was just it was, in retrospect, hilarious.
00:30:57
Speaker
Because I started this voice memo to you and was fine and calm. And then I just started to like freak out increasingly as I was explaining things and realizing things in real time. And so I kept saying like with like tears streaming down my face and my voice all choked up. I was saying, I'm fine. I promise. promise you I'm going to therapy now. Wow. Fuck. It was crazy.
00:31:25
Speaker
i promise you i'm fine i'm going to therapy now like but i was just like wow fuck was crazy um Yeah. And that was like within the first 50 pages or so of of that second book by Tara Schuster. Banana town.
00:31:48
Speaker
banana pat but Banana pound. Banana pants. Banana pants. but Banana pants. oh So yeah. Fucking good. And maybe I'll like, maybe I'll try to make a point of the i the really frustrating thing is I brought that book with me to Anahata's And did not have the energy or the time to like sit down and read it. And I brought it with me to Thanksgiving. And I did not even pull it out I did pull it out. I wanted to read it. And then I like every time that I like had free time, i was just like, I want to like sleep. Yeah. because me were As we described, so fucking busy.
00:32:33
Speaker
like, yeah. so like yeah Now that i have resolved to not go anywhere at all, hopefully that will translate into, going to have some time to sit down and read.
00:32:48
Speaker
And that'll be pretty high on the priority list to get through. So, yeah. Anyway. Yay. So those are those are the big ones for me of the last handful of years.
00:33:02
Speaker
I think I need to pick that up. I would like for you do. I know, I bought it for you. Physically go pick it from where it's at. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was a gift. Was it a Christmas gift or a birthday gift or something? One those, yeah. And I think you got me the subtle art of not giving a fuck, too.
00:33:23
Speaker
i think you did I? Maybe you didn't. I don't know. but i I might have got it around the same time as you or something then. yeah But I do have it. was That one was so long ago that I wouldn't remember because... who knows what i ordered in 2017 as I would have like bought it from Amazon and shipped it to you or something but um which is ah I'm pretty sure that's how I got you buy yourself the fucking lilies yes was ordering it and just shipping it straight to your house um but yeah like miss maizey the potato po ah yeah she's a stupid girl
00:34:06
Speaker
Stealthy? Silly, I said. Oh, silly. i was like, what, she just sneak up on you? Not quite. She's very silly. She buried herself under the purple blanket on my bed today and stayed there like for hours. Oh, was she cold?
00:34:25
Speaker
She must have been. yeah she must have been but like you know i have the camera set up in my room and uh not for any kind of weird purposes just i was just gonna say making sure somebody's getting up in time to get somebody else to school um and anyhow I love it when I catch her on video romping around on the bed. Oh, my God. It is the cutest thing ever. Yeah. When she's all playful and cute. Yeah. And so today I saw her dig under the blanket. And then like another time she was like lashing her head up upwards to like get out from under it. And like, it ended up a giant portion of it was just draped over her head with her nose sticking out.
00:35:16
Speaker
It looked, all I could see was her nose because it was like from the side anyways, but it was like hilarious. And I'm like, okay, well, at least she knows how to get out. If she's not, be she's not going to be stuck under that blanket all day, like trying to figure out how to get out, you know?
00:35:30
Speaker
So I knew, i knew she'd be able to get herself out of there. But when I got home, she was under there and it was like hours. She's probably four hours. Yeah. She'd been laying under that blanket.
00:35:42
Speaker
Cutie patootie. She's a little baby. Adorbs. Adorbs. So I am going to quickly look up this book because ah want to make sure I get it right okay when I say it.
Books on Toxic Families and Personal Boundaries
00:35:59
Speaker
So, who probably around 2008. um Oddly enough, it's kind of funny how you remember certain things from certain time periods.
00:36:11
Speaker
But I remember that I was reading this book around the time when all that craziness was going on with our economy. but um And let me make sure that I am not talking out my ass because I want to see when this book came out because I want to make sure that I know what I'm talking about.
00:36:29
Speaker
I'm not just like making shit up in my head. um Yeah, it came out in 2006. So yes, that is very possible. um okay It was recommended to me by a friend.
00:36:40
Speaker
This author's name is Dr. Laura Schlesinger. You know, she probably is problematic in some ways. I'm sure somebody's going to have something shitty to say about her. i don't know much about her myself. feel like, have you talked about her to me before? Have you talked about this book to me before? Yes, probably. Because that name is so familiar. Yeah. Like, it's not just that it's similar to the comedian Eliza Schlesinger. No. But I remember there being an author that you talked about that had that last name. A good friend of mine may have mentioned it
00:37:14
Speaker
When she was visiting while you were here. hmm because she well thing is you guys are talking about books that first remember it in the context of being on recording talking about it oh so anyhow um yeah this she she had like a radio show ah she's a psychologist or whatever and like had a radio show but she has this book and she's got a number of books but this particular one is the one that i read and it's called bad childhood good life
00:37:47
Speaker
And I just yeah remember, just go gosh, I've got quite a few books that like actually kind of look like stuff I might want to read um anyhow there was a thing in there that she said and it was about toxic families essentially like like this portion of it I don't remember I mean obviously the whole book is about that because of it's you know bad childhood good life but see like how do you have a good life you've mentioned this on recording before but I cannot remember when it because it wasn't the last time we talked about books okay but I know that you've talked about because that
00:38:21
Speaker
that uh that title is so familiar too so yeah so i i can't even tell you if i finished the book honestly but i remember this one part that was like kind of the eye-opener for me and it was like you don't owe your family anything you don't owe your parents anything if they have been shitty to you and if they are toxic you know people to be around you do not owe them anything and i think that there was the concept of boundaries was in that book where that was probably the one of the first times i ever really started to pay attention to what boundaries were what it meant to have them um
00:39:08
Speaker
But that's one of the things I remember that sticks out to me is that, you know, you don't owe your your family or your parents anything. Yeah. And like if they do something data that you don't like and you told them don't do this or say, you know, things like this or whatever and they do it, you just turn around and walk out.
00:39:28
Speaker
You don't owe them an explanation. Yeah. Because you laid down the rules. so then You laid down your expectations. And dealing with their bullshit. Yeah. You walk out. Yeah. And I was just like, holy shit. I know. Wild concept for us abused children. Yeah.
00:39:48
Speaker
Yeah. So then... The other thing I was going to say, the other book, there's another book and and there there's a theme. Okay. Is the.
00:40:02
Speaker
I'm sorry. it's It's a long title, so i struggle with it. I have to like think about it in my head before I say it. You're good. Do you need to look it up?
00:40:12
Speaker
uh am i ever going to be good enough healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers you've also talked about this one yeah on the podcast in the same yeah probably in the same time that you were talking about the schlesinger one well if i'm repeating myself i apologize but or you know what it might have been it might have been on a bonus episode because i remember we were talking about narcissism on a bonus episode okay i think I think that was probably what it was. So it won't be necessarily repeating yourself for those who don't subscribe to our Patreon. okay But you should go subscribe to our Patreon. As long as you're sure about that, Molly. I'm not 100% sure, but based on the subject matter and knowing that that's where we did post about you know our conversation about narcissism, um which I know we also were talking ah we were talking about um
00:41:04
Speaker
Jeanette McCurdy's book. Yeah. But I think you probably brought up these books as well. If we're wrong, if anybody has been listening and remembers exactly when we talked or when Christina mentioned these two books, because I know you have.
00:41:22
Speaker
Feel free to, you know, ping us because I'm not going back through all of our episodes. Right. Anyway, but please continue. I'm like 50 at this point. So my memory about things is not awesome. um Anyway.
00:41:40
Speaker
So if I'm repeating myself, I apologize. But these are books. It's fine. Literally, you know, they're they're eye openers and the they helped.
00:41:51
Speaker
Yeah. Also, can't be positive that I read the entire book of that one either. um And the thing was, i like I lent those books to people and I honestly don't know if I ever got them back.
00:42:06
Speaker
Truly. Don't even remember. But I do have the narcissistic mother won on like in an e-reader app.
00:42:18
Speaker
So i can read that if I want to. bad.
00:42:26
Speaker
my bad I'm sorry. The thing is when a book gives you um homework, I never will do the homework. I never ever will do the homework. easy to do. like It's not easy to just do. Yeah. And I know that that one, the narcissistic mother one, had homework in it.
00:42:47
Speaker
It was like... yeah you really You really have to be dedicated on, like, a higher level to reading. Because there's reading books and then there's, like, reading books. And, like, it's not something that's just sort of like, oh, yeah, I'll just do this. Like, yeah. No, it takes like a a different level of discipline, like the discipline that i had to implement to even get through half of ah the artist's way.
00:43:16
Speaker
Oh, my God. Which I still have not even continued since like July. how far through that one did you get? About halfway. About halfway. um But there is so much work that goes into it. Like it's the reading the actual book is the least possible.
00:43:35
Speaker
of you Right. The whole point of that book is is to do the exercises on purpose to help you Yeah. Not only the exercises, but the like daily, you know they call them the morning pages. i know that I've talked about them. um And the weekly artist date.
00:43:58
Speaker
It's a lot. It's a lot. And it's not like that's not necessarily the reason I stopped. because I was actually really enjoying all of the work, all of the homework, all of the like assignments, all of the like exercises, the tasks, what have you.
00:44:15
Speaker
I enjoyed them. I liked the challenge of them. i liked, you know, reflecting on things, even if they were hard, you know, challenging things to reflect on. Yeah. um But it was, again, as I talked about last week, I,
00:44:35
Speaker
the year was really really challenging and i simply like lost the ability to expend that much energy on a single book i have every intention of going back to it i just don't know when i've got to let myself heal first yeah so yeah dude Yeah. So for that reason, like I completely understand the whole like homework and books is like not for everyone. And sometimes you just got to read the book and like, you know, derive the benefit that you can from that rather than like beat yourself up because you can't like do the writing the journal prompts or the homework assignments or whatever. Yeah. So.
00:45:27
Speaker
Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So I have like a number of books going at the same time right now.
Exploring Witchcraft and Philosophical Reads
00:45:40
Speaker
That is the ultimate ADHD state of being.
00:45:46
Speaker
It's like um in the midst of like a dozen different books. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. so oh I suck, dude. I can't remember. um Stop it. Oh, stop. You stop.
00:46:03
Speaker
No. Laura Tempest.
00:46:10
Speaker
zach roth i can never remember it's zarkoff or zach roth i can't get it straight in my damn head um laura tempest zach roth i got couple of her books recently right from anahadas right or like after anahadas after because i had one of her classes there and i was like okay i get it now why everybody who's had a class with her is obsessed with her I meant to say this before you joined the cult I think on the Anahatas episode I meant to talk about it I think but like I get it now you probably did yeah and yeah like she's just fucking cool as shit man you haven't had one of classes yet have you I haven't no oh man yeah so I got a number of her books and I'm trying to remember which one it is I'm reading right now I need to look it up
00:47:05
Speaker
Was it the liminal something? Weave the liminal? Yeah. Was it the one that you brought with you to Missouri? Because I remember that being in the car. Yeah, I did have it in the car.
00:47:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yep, that's the one. Weave the liminal. So I telling How did I remember that? I don't know. I don't know, but the cover is cool, so it's easy to... Yeah, it is. eye-catching.
00:47:31
Speaker
So... It's a very, very intriguing title, too. Yeah. Sorry, I'm yawning. You're good. i'm gonna make eat You're going to make me yawn.
00:47:45
Speaker
I know that I told you Sorry. Sorry.
00:47:52
Speaker
I know that when I first started to read that book, I told you that I thought it was going to change like everything for me about witchcraft. Okay.
00:48:04
Speaker
or i said something to that something to that degree effect yeah um that this was gonna help me make witchcraft more like accessible if you will yeah um or easy to incorporate into like daily life like her writing is her writing style is very interesting um I don't know if it's like how she would speak.
00:48:32
Speaker
I can't say that that that she writes how she would speak, but like it's thought provoking the way she words things, you know? So you're just kind of like, you have to kind of reread things sometimes like to make it sink in. um But she makes...
00:48:50
Speaker
she She doesn't subscribe to any particular like witch... Oh, God. Discipline?
00:49:01
Speaker
Witchcraft discipline? Yeah. Okay. She kind of does her own thing. Uh-huh. But how she came about that is so organic and amazing. And I just love it. Like, her story is cool as hell. Like, it's so yeah natural and normal. And I'm just like...
00:49:17
Speaker
this chick knows what the fuck she's talking about. Like she's so spot on. awesome And so it's making, it's making things feel like so much more like regular.
00:49:33
Speaker
i don't even know how else to put it. Like accessible. That's yeah is totally more accessible. Like i yeah after, i mean, I've only gotten, I'm like probably in the first chapter seriously, like, but it's so captivating.
00:49:47
Speaker
to read I'm just like I love this I love this this is making me feel like I can absolutely be a witch and I don't have to do anything i mean like we already we knew that but you know what I'm saying yeah you don't have to do anything a particular way you can question the old like
00:50:10
Speaker
trains trains of thought I mean the old like yeah things that you learned about from like you know yeah you know anybody had like wicca beliefs or anything like that i mean you i don't know it just it teaches you sorry i just dropped my phone either really no it kind of teaches you to question like everything you know i love that i appreciate that very deeply yes yeah I love it too.
00:50:40
Speaker
So I'm super excited to continue with that book. Um, after i finally finished reading the last one I talked about on the podcast, the the ancient, ancient healing masters, whatever book. Yeah. Yeah.
00:50:57
Speaker
Yeah. I am still reading that. Um, I haven't, haven't picked it up in a couple of weeks, but I, uh, Yeah, that one is still very good. So, yeah yeah, I'm just super sucked into like both of those right now. And I'm like, oh, I got to pick them back up.
00:51:14
Speaker
Yeah, I got out of the little habit I had of of picking them up every few minutes when I had time. Yeah, yeah, it's tough. It's tough. Yeah. but yeah, I feel that I, uh, you know, I just, just even just mulling over like the books that I know I'm like partway through and have been partway through for multiple years.
00:51:36
Speaker
um Like another really, really good one that I'm not even going to go that deep into because I actually truly haven't touched this one in a long time. And I really, really want to, but, um,
00:51:49
Speaker
It's also like not exactly the same or not in the same vein as like all the others we've talked about so far today. um But it's this book called On Trails by Robert Moore.
00:52:03
Speaker
hu And um
00:52:09
Speaker
i bought it at the Walden Pond gift shop. o And it is about it's literally just that this man's reflection on trails literally like paths roads um the concepts of them like the beginning and ending like what it means to travel them, what it means to build them, to create them. ah um Like, it's so interesting because it gets so philosophical. it gets a little existential. it goes into, like, prehistoric trails of, like, little, like... ancient sea mollusks leaving their little imprints on the floor like the floor the ocean wow yeah and it talks about like the you know his experience is hiking the appalachian trail and like it i think it eventually gets into like digital trails
00:53:11
Speaker
too like i'm not there yet but like that's what the back of the book insinuates is that it gets into that kind of realm how do you how far did you say you've gone i don't remember like i literally haven't like i know it's on my shelf somewhere i haven't even like looked to see like i don't even remember where the bookmark is in the in like you know percentage wise through the book um all that i know is that like every time that i picked it up and read it i was just like hit with like what felt like such nice deep beautiful insight nice that like it i just not like i wouldn't have expected it because like
00:53:57
Speaker
that's exact it's exactly what i hoped for in a book based on that title yeah like based on like it was it was everything i wanted in a book about trails and just i don't know that's so pretty profound it's it's tough because it's like damn cool like to how do you top that yeah you know like because it's not even about like me helping myself but it's still helping me learn about the world and like about life in general yeah and like you know i'm not even drawing parallels to my own life i'm just sort of being like you know i'm learning about like the bigger deeper things yeah i mean different ways of looking at life and experiences that you never would have thought of
00:54:48
Speaker
right right and also just generally enjoying the way that this man writes because he's like he's so interesting he's so interesting it's wild oh my god i love just like to to to study this and to write this book he like went on so many journeys like so many trips and like met up with experts and like talked to them about all of it and i'm just like Well, this is what it means to have like financial freedom. I don't know if that's the case for him. But like this is what it means to just like have money to be able to like go and like do whatever. Or if you had financial freedom, that would be how you would want to use it.
00:55:33
Speaker
Well, yeah. But I mean, like this is what it means to have it. It's like that you can just go and like write
00:55:41
Speaker
if I got you. I get you. What's the phrase? i'm thinking I'm just basically saying like whether or not he actually has it isn't the point. right The point is you're reading it and you're just like, oh my God, if I
Financial Freedom and Podcasting Gratitude
00:55:53
Speaker
had.
00:55:53
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. When had. Particularly like um the, you know, having the free time and energy to even mull over and think about these concepts huh like you know knowing how you and i feel about our lives and what we're like how we struggle uh like we've we've stated many many a time how like sometimes we just do not have the bandwidth to even like
00:56:32
Speaker
function let alone like think about things that aren't like vitally important to our immediate life you know yeah um so like yeah that one was was interesting to read that and also just be like man i wish that i could just like do what he does and like live that kind of life where i could just like randomly make a trip up to new labrador to study ancient like fossilized like mollusk paths like fucking crazy but amazing that's so cool yeah it's really cool
00:57:11
Speaker
So I, you know, yet another one that I want to be able to finish at some point. So we'll see. Yeah. yeah Yeah.
00:57:23
Speaker
That's our show today. And I think all things considered, we did a pretty damn good job. Yeah. Thanks for ah tolerating our yammering. Yeah. Thanks for still being here with us.
00:57:40
Speaker
Truly. ah We feel extremely grateful. We're very fortunate that we can do this, even though like we both, you know, have busy and challenging daily lives.
00:57:58
Speaker
But yeah. I'm glad we're here. Yep. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Don't forget to like us on the socials or whatever. Yeah. Follow us and also follow the show itself on whatever platform you're listening on. Please give it five stars on the Spotify and or Apple podcasts or whatever you listen to. And leave us a review.
00:58:28
Speaker
Yeah, that would be cool. Please and thank you um And yeah, follow us on Instagram. Send us an email. Tell us your thoughts. Give us book recs.
00:58:40
Speaker
We'll add them to our never ending lists of books that we hope we'll eventually have time to read someday. And ah follow us on Patreon. ah Subscribe and support the show. And enjoy the content that we've got going over there.
00:58:57
Speaker
um Yeah. We're grateful. We love you guys. Thank you so much for being here. Until next week.
00:59:09
Speaker
One week closer to Christmas. What the fuck?
00:59:16
Speaker
All right, y'all. Have a beautiful week and stay warm if you are in the cold parts of the world right now.