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65. Lessons From The Soul Pod
16 Plays18 days ago
This week we talked about the book Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss, and ended up diving into a conversation regarding how our past lives may have impacted us in this life. And also, naturally, what we’re learning from the connections within our soul pods. <3
TW/CW: explicit body weight/size discussions, discussions of verbal emotional abuse pertaining to body size/shape, discussions of parental narcissistic abuse
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You can also follow us on Instagram: @soulpodthepodcast, or email us directly at soulpodthepodcast@gmail.com.
Molly does tarot readings online and locally in Massachusetts: https://www.thehighpriestesscoaching.com/
Christina sells delicious microgreens in the greater Detroit area: https://www.christinasgreens.com/
Please follow Jim’s furniture business, Modern/Haunted: House & Home on TikTok and Instagram: @modernhaunted
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modernhaunted
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Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde
Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock
Editing: Molly Wilde
Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.
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Transcript
Evening Adventure: Gas Station Snacks
00:00:25
Speaker
What's up? Oh my god. We're having, it's been a weird night. oh
00:00:34
Speaker
Look who I got. You got the potato. he at the fuzzy potato. She's so sweet. oh She looks so sleepy.
00:00:46
Speaker
She's just chilling on my belly. good love it um i had to like was so i was coming back from dropping jim back off at work and realized that i didn't have anything for dinner ah and so i ended up trying to make what i thought was going to be the quickest gas station lightning raid ever but then for some reason there was a fucking line because of course
00:01:19
Speaker
Because of course, ah but I got gas station snacks. So ah have salami and cheese thing. I have
00:01:31
Speaker
this sweet and tangy barbecue Doritos. the black
00:01:37
Speaker
And i have. Oh, my God. is that literally your dinner? um I'll probably throw in a but ah bowl of soup somewhere. Okay.
00:01:48
Speaker
This evening.
00:01:52
Speaker
I was hoping that there would be a good enough like sandwich. But all of them looked pretty unappetizing. yeah I skipped them.
00:02:04
Speaker
i could have i I realized I could have grabbed like a microwavable dinner. They have like those like little Stouffer's things or Devour's brand ones.
00:02:15
Speaker
I could have, but i don't know. wasn't in the mood. So, got these. It's what it is. Tis. Tis indeed.
Book Discussion and Borrowing Options
00:02:27
Speaker
but yeah, um i am intrigued with how tonight's episode is going to go. Ah. Because we're going to talk about a book... That I have not read.
00:02:41
Speaker
Can you borrow Jim's copy? i mean, i have the audio book. Oh, okay. it was only $5 and some change, so I bought it. Like, I didn't even use a credit or anything.
00:02:52
Speaker
Okay. So I have it, but I've not listened to it yet. Gotcha. Gotcha. And I could borrow Jim's copy, probably. Actually, I can't remember if it's his mom's copy, actually, or or what. But okay regardless, I probably could borrow it. But yeah um I just haven't.
00:03:11
Speaker
I just haven't read it. Yeah. If anything, I would need to listen to the audiobook because I simply do not have the time to sit down and read lately. Because I actually have the book as well.
00:03:24
Speaker
Yeah. I have book and the audiobook. um yeah so that's that's what you wanted to talk about because I realized you know half an hour ago that we didn't have a topic yeah and so we were like oh fuck yeah well i just happened to listen to it on audiobook today was like well this would be a good thing to talk about yeah um and it kind of I feel like it does a little bit correspond to last week's episode you yeah I mean
00:03:57
Speaker
it has a lot there's a lot uh to do with soul pods as well so i love it i think i think he may have brought that point up he did i think like jim i mean yeah oh by the way by the way yes who are you i'm molly and hi i'm jim
00:04:22
Speaker
He said he was me the other day. I was like, yeah, I'm going to say I'm him now. And then the next time I mentioned you, he was like, who's k Christina?
00:04:31
Speaker
What a dork. I know. I punched him in the shoulder for that one. Oh, my oh but we love him.
Exploring Soul Pods and Reincarnation
00:04:40
Speaker
So, yeah, I'm talking about I'm talking about myself when I say, yeah, Jim mentioned something the other day.
00:04:48
Speaker
That was just me. Talking in the third person. um But he did, we were talking about, um you know, the concept of like multiple lives and therefore soul pods and like what goes on in between our lives and like.
00:05:05
Speaker
how we decide on you know, what we're doing or like what we're supposed to like experience and learn our, you know, next life and whatever. um Like we've talked about that individually. and I think we've kind of glossed over it a little bit last week's episode.
00:05:23
Speaker
um But yeah, talking about soul pods and it, yeah, it makes total sense that it would tie into many lives, many masters. ah hu So Yeah. Yeah. um So I hope you got notes.
00:05:36
Speaker
Nope. Not a note. Not a note in sight. Nary a note. Nary a note. But I mean, i have thoughts, so it should work. Yeah. um I hope they do.
00:05:49
Speaker
First of all, I'm going to say this. ah The other day i stopped in a new coffee house that I had like seen and also heard about like from somebody else.
00:06:01
Speaker
And and this one day i was like, you know what? I just want to go in there instead of going in my normal, like I normally get tropical smoothie cafe, like a certain day of the week or whatever.
00:06:12
Speaker
um I popped into the coffee house. That's all that's in that same strip mall where I usually go for the smoothies. And i about peed my pants i was so excited that to see like all of their book selections were witchy or metaphysical in nature was like hells to the yeah um yeah so you were supposed to walk in there i was so excited to find that out i was like oh my god anyway so sorry i'm clearing my throat like no but like you're good um like you like that actually like was intuition being like you you were you needed to go in there
00:06:53
Speaker
Yeah. So I was like scanning over the books and it's like, oh yeah, I have a lot of, like I have some of these books. I've seen seen some of these books. I've heard about some of these books, et cetera, et cetera.
00:07:04
Speaker
And this this book was on the shelf in there. Many lives, many masters. yeah And I picked up another one as well. um But um I had been wanting to get this book anyways. And then today i was like,
00:07:23
Speaker
I really need to be listening to an audio book today. and I can't remember, could not tell you at all, even though it was earlier today, whether i had already had this book in my audio book, like library, or if I just found it and put it in there. I think I already had it in there, but I don't know.
00:07:45
Speaker
Cause I think I was looking for his stuff not too long ago when I was on my phone and I think I added it then, but yeah. Anyway.
Past Life Regression Therapy Insights
00:07:53
Speaker
I'm happy to have a hard copy as well, so it's no big deal.
00:07:56
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah, so that's where I i got that book. i didn't really know what to expect based on the title. i mean, i was like not really sure the context of the title, but it's a pretty simple concept when it comes down to it.
00:08:19
Speaker
i I was, I didn't remember his backstory, but let me say one thing. This is his very first book. Yeah. So okay that it gives like a background of his history of like, you know, education and he's very highly scientific.
00:08:39
Speaker
Um, and so like had zero beliefs in anything metaphysical, like, you know, yeah. Um, It's really interesting. It's a good story.
00:08:51
Speaker
So who this woman comes to his office. She'd been referred to him by like she worked in the hospital that he also practiced in.
00:09:01
Speaker
But somebody else that worked in the hospital, like another doctor that she had become friendly with, like recommended that she goes to him like right away. And because she was having like all these crazy phobias and anxieties and just weird shit.
00:09:17
Speaker
Yeah. I do remember Jim had told me about that premise of it. Basically, this woman gets past life regressed. And like he had never done that before. He had put people into hypnosis states before um to help them with certain things.
00:09:36
Speaker
But usually it's like early childhood stuff, like memories that they've repressed repressed from early childhood. Right. And this time it was like they had uncovered a memory from her early childhood and then talked about that.
00:09:52
Speaker
And then nothing was getting any better for her. So then the next session, when she came in, he was like, well, maybe there was something that happened even earlier, like as a, as like a baby, like rather than three-year-old, like maybe it was, you know,
00:10:11
Speaker
a one or two year old situation that something happened or whatever. And so he's like, instead of asking her to go to those ages, he kind of did an open ended, like, take me back to where the issues first started.
00:10:31
Speaker
Like really general, vague, open ended, like suggestion. So she just automatically jumped to a past life. Like, Yeah. And he was like, what?
00:10:44
Speaker
You know, he had no idea like this was possible um or never, you know, had heard of it happening or whatever. Didn't didn't believe in that stuff, I guess.
00:10:56
Speaker
Yeah. um And so this was like, like you do, like it like would be rational, like react that way. Yeah. And I'm trying to remember what year it was that the story started to happen. I think it was in the late 70s No, early 80s, maybe like 82 or something. i don't remember. But I think the book was I think the book came out in 88.
00:11:20
Speaker
So.
00:11:22
Speaker
Yeah, so she begins to describe things that happened to her in about three different lives. Lives. Interesting. During that second session.
00:11:33
Speaker
And they they definitely uncovered reasons for like why she was having the issues that she was having. But more interestingly, there were moments between the life memories, like she would remember one specific life and then she would like get to the point where she was dying in that life.
00:12:00
Speaker
And she would say, I'm floating, I'm floating. I see a light, you know, like that kind of stuff. So it was like indicator, you know, flashing light indicator of like, okay, so she's between lives.
00:12:12
Speaker
In the spirit world, if you will. Right. And so she starts talking about stuff that she's learning and experiencing during those moments in between lives.
00:12:26
Speaker
And that's where the masters come in. And the masters are essentially the ascended masters or various teachers yeah that are there to help her or guide her along her path.
00:12:38
Speaker
Yeah. And for those who are listening who are unfamiliar with that term, ascended masters, um some commonly known examples are like Buddha and like Jesus Christ.
Understanding Ascended Masters
00:12:51
Speaker
And i would say probably, well, I was going to say that the archangels might fall under that, but I think they have their own category as being archangels. they might yeah but like ascended masters um and i know there's definitely more that you know i can't think of right now but like they're you know people who basically achieved enlightenment in uh in a you know a mortal life yeah um and ascended effectively yeah yeah they don't have like they don't have to come back to earth any longer
00:13:27
Speaker
right effectively right they've learned all their lessons no more reincarnations for them exactly so he learned a lot ah just from like the things that the ascended masters would say and you remember how we talked about the voices changing when people would be channeling stuff yeah she was changing her voice based on who was talking like as in the ascended masters yeah because they would talk through so she was channeling ascended masters uh-huh okay she yeah she was repeating what they were saying to her essentially but she would be talking in different voices yeah as though she was like speaking as them yeah maybe okay gotcha okay
00:14:13
Speaker
yeah it's it's good it's good molly um i i know i will read it and it's really not for the audiobook i don't know if you've seen his hard copy i think you have jim's hard copy of his book but it's not it's not long no it's not long i know yeah i know and the audiobook was like five hours and something oh, I could crush that in a day. Yeah.
00:14:37
Speaker
That's why I crushed it today. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. So um i just I just think that it's just really crazy. Okay. Like there are certain concepts in, you know, that I remember learning in the Mormon church that a lot of times carry, have carried over into certain metaphysical belief systems or concepts or theories that I've heard you know, since becoming, you know, witch or in the metaphysical world.
00:15:16
Speaker
And it's like really weird when I hear certain things that I'm just like, huh, Mormon said that, like, that's kind of weird. um Yeah.
00:15:27
Speaker
Such as we basically ascend to become God-like. Like the Mormon church basically is like, you want to, um, achieve the celestial kingdom to be godlike or to become a God and to like create your own worlds.
00:15:46
Speaker
And like, I really wonder if there's any kind of validity validity, valid truth to that. Like, I have no idea, but I'm just saying. I mean, i don't know. Like, I know that we, so in our, ah at our experience with Anahata's Purpose last year, 2024, we attended that Divine Connection class.
00:16:10
Speaker
Yeah. um And that...
Spiritual Growth and Ascension
00:16:14
Speaker
that's where i learned the majority of what i know about ascended masters and spirit team spirit guides yeah guardian angels what have you um and in like Her explanation, and I might want to look at my notes again from last year, because I might have written down something that could point in this direction, but like, I feel like in her explanation, she did sort of allude to um the possibility of
00:16:49
Speaker
that kind of a level of of like ascension beyond like ascended masters for sure but like i don't know maybe there's a part of me that also wonders if like that was what she defined as being like the highest level of achievement a soul can reach oh um I don't know.
00:17:08
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe over like, you know, millions and billions of years, like you could become a God. Yeah. um I think that there must have been an episode on the skeptic metaphysician where somebody was talking about this because I remember the person talking about the in-between like I don't remember what they called it in that in the episode, but it was like, I had totally heard this concept of like, in between your reincarnations, you're hanging out in in the spirit realm and you're learning stuff and you're like redoing life reviews and you're doing all these things.
00:17:50
Speaker
And so there was like that connection I made in my head. And and then also he said something about there are multiple gods and they are in each of us.
00:18:07
Speaker
So like there's yeah that concept again about, you know, if you look at the universe as an intelligent an intelligence, a universal intelligence that wants to like fragment itself into each one of us to experience physical life, you know, mortal life, you know, that's kind of like the same thing. It's just different different terminology, you know?
00:18:32
Speaker
um that was really that's a super interesting concept honestly honestly though like actually yeah and then it's like okay so if there's multiple gods are we talking like the greek gods and they like right gods and the see you know that's the thing though like in each like pantheon of like historical ancient deities um like there are i mean like between the greeks and the romans there was an obvious copy paste happening yeah yeah yeah yeah between those two but like in general you know every ancient culture had like a god of war and a god of the sun and a god of like wine and merriment you know and and a goddess of love and beauty like they're they're like
00:19:26
Speaker
there were those same iterations, the same categories across the whole world across time. Yeah. And so it's like, mayhaps they're all the same and they just had different names and different like faces visages, uh, visages based on, based on where they were. Yeah.
00:19:54
Speaker
You know, i believe that. Absolutely. buckin luotley That's why, like, you know, that's why you can connect to, you know, as a witch in the modern day. That's why you can connect to Odin and also Isis and ah Aphrodite, you know, like and and have a connection to each of them. Like, it's not like you have to pick a Pantheon.
00:20:19
Speaker
Yeah. it's like it's it's like what iteration of that same energy resonates the most with you yeah you know so one of her lives was in ancient egypt okay and talking about we're worshiping like osiris and stuff and then the name hathor came up and i was like what is Hathor? And then he like mentioned, it's like the ancient, and I'm i'm quoting this directly from Google, by the way, the AI overview of Google. Okay.
00:20:54
Speaker
Hathor is an ancient Egyptian goddess associated with love, beauty, music, dance, and motherhood. And I was like, ah that's me. Yeah.
00:21:05
Speaker
That was me. I'm like, I feel like ah kinship there with her yeah i need to find out about hathor and like learn like maybe incorporate her into some of my my uh oh my god is this your first like deity like connection yeah i think i think so holy shit dude yeah it was crazy yeah when he said that for you what she was about i was like what oh my god oh my god fuck yeah dude oh my god yeah so she has a mention in the book
00:21:38
Speaker
Based on this, um Catherine, I think is the...
Connection with Egyptian Goddess Hathor
00:21:42
Speaker
The name of the woman. Yeah. um Based on her lifetime in Egypt.
00:21:49
Speaker
like Nice. Talking about worshipping these gods and stuff. like I hope that... That's fucking cool, dude. I'm going to find some effigies. Is that the right word?
00:22:03
Speaker
Like a statue? Some kind of thing. A picture or something? A little... ah Oh, yeah, like a iconography. I don't know. um like ah Like imagery of her. i need imagery.
00:22:17
Speaker
Fuck yeah. ah I was going to say, I hope that my constantly muting and unmuting myself is not contributing to weird audio switches because I want to eat my pickles.
00:22:31
Speaker
t Okay, so she, according to AI, Google, Um, and she was also popular and po and but was a popular and powerful deity in the Egyptian pantheon. She was often depicted as a woman with a cow's head or as a cow and was known as the golden one due to her connection with the sun, sometimes acting as the eye of Ra, which you probably have heard of.
00:23:01
Speaker
um Yeah. um Sorry, I really apologize for interrupting this, but I just spilled pickle juice up my sleeve.
00:23:14
Speaker
Oh, God. yeah Okay. So I got too enthusiastic. about the pickles and now i need to change my sweatshirt so just go get a paper towel and shove it up there no it's all wet and cold in here it's gross hang hang on hang on okay sorry about that that's okay so you are familiar with the eye of raw uh i've i can't familiar with the eye of horace
00:23:47
Speaker
either. I can't, like, regurgitate to you exactly what i what both of them are.
00:23:54
Speaker
But I've definitely heard of them. Okay. I'm gonna, um... Yeah. Shoot you a quick little picture. Okay.
00:24:08
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, the right eye and left eye, effectively. Yeah. Protective powers... Okay, cool.
00:24:21
Speaker
Sun and Moon.
00:24:25
Speaker
Interesting. Eye of Ra, related to the sun. Protective powers come from instilling fear of violence. Eye of Horus, related to the moon. Protective powers come from deflecting malevolent forces.
00:24:37
Speaker
Love that. Very, very into it. I too did. Thank you for announcing it. So, um, we are disgusting today. There is a different, here's a different one. Hold on.
00:24:55
Speaker
duty
00:24:58
Speaker
do I know, I was like roundabouting that one and then you figured it out for me. just sent you another one.
00:25:12
Speaker
o There's Eye of Thoth. The Eyes Horus. Eye of Thoth and Eye of Ra or re Right eye Sun-related masculine yang energy explores reason.
00:25:27
Speaker
mathematics logic science and language a symbol of good luck and creative so this is like just like yet another uh iteration of masculine and feminine energies because like reason mathematics logic science and language are related to masculinity and then on the feminine side it's human nature emotion sexual energy and intuition and magic
00:25:57
Speaker
yeah It's very very ah magician tarot card and high priestess tarot card. And then there's this iteration which makes them look slightly different by one pupil being filled in and the other one not filled in.
00:26:13
Speaker
Oh, that is hot. I love that. that That's fucking spooky and dope. You want the picture of that one? Send that to me too. Thank you.
00:26:26
Speaker
No problem. I got a fork for my pickles. So that I don't feel tempted to tip that packaging over and pour more into my sleeve. Oh my goodness.
00:26:39
Speaker
You so funny. um So. on. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:26:52
Speaker
ah What the fuck am I doing? ah My bad. Alright, Hathor. okay Okay, yeah, so I was gonna say, you were talking about Hathor, you were talking about her ah past life in ancient Egypt.
00:27:09
Speaker
And I don't know if you arrived where you were trying to go with that point. Um, just talking about her.
00:27:18
Speaker
Anyway, no, it said due to her connection with the sun, sometimes acting as the Eye of Ra, over time she evolved from a goddess of destruction to one of benevolence, though some myths still refer to her destructive aspects. Key aspects of Hathor, roles and domains, love, beauty, and pleasure. She was the patron of cosmetics and dance, and her worship was associated with the joys of so celebration and childbirth.
00:27:48
Speaker
anyway and just I just thought I gotta get to know this bitch I need to know her i need some we love a destructive queen anyhow that was just one of the things that was and it was pretty quick in the book it wasn't like dwelled on about her just mentioned kind of in passing and then ah I think it was brought up another time because What happened was as they continued their sessions, she
00:28:24
Speaker
she knew that she had had 86 lives because she was told that by the masters. And then um through the sessions, she only remembered approximately 12 of them.
00:28:38
Speaker
But as the sessions continued, she started repeating like some of the same lives that she had already talked about. So, huh. Through all of these though she was getting better and things were changing and getting better for her and she was thriving like big time. yeah diving I was going to say like probably the the reason that only 12 of them came up was because they were the ones that were relevant to like the the ones that were still affecting her in her current life. Yeah that's yeah I'm pretty sure that's what they arrived at.
00:29:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:16
Speaker
So I won't talk anymore about that because i I think that people, if they're curious about the stories and the lives that she had and how things changed for her, they need to read the book.
00:29:27
Speaker
So I don't want to continue to discuss it, but um who I thought it was cool as hell. And think certain things that I learned...
Numerology and Life Path Numbers
00:29:41
Speaker
Okay, do you remember when we talked about numerology, like, sort of.
00:29:47
Speaker
i think I think it was our episode about the numbers. They just keep happening. Yeah. You mean when we tried to talk about numerology? And then I think we may have talked about, did we talk about our like life path numbers or something like that?
00:30:02
Speaker
i think we did bring them up because like it was it was being talked about in our Marco group at the time. Yeah. And so it was sort of on the forefront of our minds.
00:30:12
Speaker
Yeah. So we did my It was, I think, my birth date, right? was that how That's the number that we were using, not our names.
00:30:23
Speaker
Yeah, we you do your birth date to determine yeah what your life path number is. And yours was 11, right? Yes. And yeah so if anybody knows anything about numerology, the number 11 is supposed to be like one of the higher...
00:30:40
Speaker
um Like a higher ascended number, if you will. i don't know how to describe that. Like and there's a word I'm looking for that I can't think of. um I'm going to look up life path number 11.
00:30:56
Speaker
And then, you know, that that that's also my wedding date. Right. Yeah. 11, which is fucking. Yeah. ah Life path number 11 is known as the master psychic.
00:31:09
Speaker
Okay. That's not the terminology that I'm looking for. and That's somebody else's description of it. so It's AI's description of it. um Yeah, there you go. not the It's not the word that I'm looking for. Master numbers.
00:31:23
Speaker
What about... Yeah. Master numbers in numerology. 11, 22, and 33. i think the master number is like the term.
00:31:34
Speaker
It says... Yeah, but that's not the the word that I'm looking for. I know it. I'll know it when I think of it or see it, but like I can't think of it right now. But it's the one... Yeah, but it does go back to... like In each source that I've looked at, it says mystical, intuitive, and spiritual. Right.
00:31:51
Speaker
Okay, so what I'm reading right now is like in new it's another ai of course in numerology 11 is a master number representing intuition spiritual insight and enlightenment it is considered a bridge between the spiritual physical worlds and is associated with heightened sensitivity wisdom and idealism people influenced by 11 are often seen as natural leaders blah blah blah okay well but they may struggle with anxiety nervousness or being overly critical well that's me um but anyway
00:32:25
Speaker
I remember, i remember, i think something you had found, i think, talked about that people with the life path 11 are like near the ending of their reincarnations.
00:32:41
Speaker
Yeah. Cause they're basically close to that stage of enlightenment, like where they're, they've learned all their lessons and shit, you know? yeah like maybe not necessarily their last one for sure but like yeah yeah they're nearing the end of it i think it's i think it's a given i don't know maybe not a given but like i it resonates with me the statement that both of us really are are close to the end yeah that there there was just certain points that were made um in the book that made me think like
00:33:20
Speaker
Yeah, I think that I'm probably close to being done because I've learned all the lessons. Like, I know the lessons at this point. Like, I've figured them out. But then again, there's, you know, obviously...
00:33:31
Speaker
not saying that i'm perfect at all like that's not it and it's because like it's like you i don't even and it's not even a jump immediately to like you know from finishing your you know life your mortal life lessons to ascendant master immediately but like there's like i think there's some transition phases between them but like yeah i'm sure there are it's yeah it's still
00:34:00
Speaker
no There's obviously still things I need to work on. And here and here's what I'm thinking. like Right. um Like there's lessons in your current life for sure. yeah And I'm still figuring some shit out here.
00:34:11
Speaker
but it keeps it kept saying stuff about people who are more highly evolved spiritually are like intended to be here to teach people. To help teach the people who are lesser evolved.
00:34:24
Speaker
Right. Like spiritually. Who are on their first few incarnations or whatever yeah and it was like okay i yeah i get that and that you know like i have friends who that i feel like i'm here to be part of their evolution or whatever but um ah feel much the same honestly yeah i feel like they're yeah that i borrow i i think that i have things to offer people in my lives in my life in my lives living multiple of them at once um yeah right but there's definitely points where you start to go right like i am not responsible for them and uh i can only do so much and at some point they have to like be responsible for their own shit so yeah um
00:35:25
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not naming any names. So whoever's listening to this that knows me, don't automatically assume it's you.
00:35:34
Speaker
Just don't. Honestly, honestly. It's I mean, you say friends, but like I think of your mother. Yeah, she's one of them.
00:35:45
Speaker
But I don't think there's anything I can do for her. No, I don't think there's anything. I tried, and she yeah literally is Delulu at this point. She just is Delulu. There's mental health situations going on with her.
00:36:00
Speaker
Delulu, parentheses, derogatory. um Like, not cutesy, it's derogatory. Yeah, like, intent intentionally, like, she's fucking insane. Yeah. so ah She has lost her barbels many, many miles ago.
00:36:17
Speaker
yeah and actually... I have a story. Oh boy. hell But I don't know if it's one that I want to keep in recording. okay So we'll see if I keep it in recording.
00:36:32
Speaker
ah but if you make it vague enough. I can't. Okay. I can't. So we'll see. um But I have been.
00:36:45
Speaker
and Well, I mean, so we obviously have talked about last week with regards to the first universal law of you exist and therefore like you're supposed to exist and you are the way you are for
Healing Trauma and Body Image Issues
00:37:00
Speaker
a reason.
00:37:00
Speaker
okay And all that has been coming up for me in relation to that law and the healing that I'm trying to do and the shifting of the beliefs that I've been trying to work on
00:37:15
Speaker
You know, I've been working intensely in therapy. Yeah. and last night. Talked about some of that shit with my food and body therapist.
00:37:28
Speaker
You said last night. Yeah. My appointment after work yesterday. Okay. And home. came home And had to do some processing and had to do some emotional release.
00:37:45
Speaker
ah And Jim was there to literally and figuratively hold my hand through it. And like, you know, help me like talk, like to talk to me, like to talk me through some of it.
00:38:00
Speaker
um And one of the things that he said was, you know, because a lot of this is centered around how I was raised ah to believe that ah my size and weight are the only things that matter and that my attractability of a husband or, you know, any partner in general was the only thing that matters um and that it was directly correlated to like how skinny I was.
00:38:35
Speaker
Always. Yeah. and so like I was kind of having a little bit of a meltdown about like why the fuck did I have to get weighed down with this like bullshit for like nothing.
00:38:55
Speaker
For no reason. You know? And Jim made the point that my mother... was probably projecting and compensating for a lot of her own insecurities.
00:39:10
Speaker
Yeah. It, which is like not the first time that that's been suggested, but I feel like it's the first time that it really sank in, in a way that like impacted me. ah And I had a moment of like, okay, what was the fucking point of that?
00:39:27
Speaker
Like, so I was just, I just had to be her punching bag and now I get to live with all this trauma. Like, what the fuck is that? You know? yeah And then today, as i was thinking about it and processing some more, I had the realization that like, and and it was also off of another thing that he said, you know, he, hold on me. Cause I wrote when I was having this realization today, I wrote some of this down. So he, okay.
00:40:03
Speaker
Back up. So last week, I had mentioned that early on my nutrition counselor, my food and body therapist, she told me that every choice I've ever made has been a good choice because it ensured my survival.
00:40:22
Speaker
And Jim made the point that perhaps whatever my mother needed to do to in ensure her own survival and coping of her own internal demons and insecurities probably included projecting the way that she did and so he made that point of like maybe for her it was about her own survival yeah and i had i had a hard time like grasping that because i was just like
00:40:59
Speaker
Goddamn, what the fuck? Same thing. Like, what was the point of me just being a punching bag and ending up with lifelong trauma? And what I realized today
00:41:10
Speaker
is that if she needed to put me down in order to feel better about herself as a means of ensuring her own survival, then to me, that means in this lifetime, i was meant to be mentally and emotionally challenged in this way.
00:41:26
Speaker
And she does not have the strength or the maturity to handle her own insecurities no matter where they came from. Me being her crutch and her punching bag, i i was I played that role for her because I am strong enough.
00:41:46
Speaker
Like, she couldn't deal with it, but I could. her trauma ran off onto me. And... and I can learn and grow from it.
00:41:57
Speaker
Even if she can't. Right. now
00:42:02
Speaker
I will say one thing. Okay. He has a point, but he may be giving her a little bit too much of a pass because i I agree. But also like, I, I also have had the thought of she's just a human and she that can't be perfect. That's true too.
00:42:22
Speaker
Yeah. Um, But i'll continue your thought. Yeah. All I was going to say is that things that I've learned about narcissists and their behaviors are they treat their children as an extension of themselves and the way that their children present, they feel is a reflection on them.
00:42:44
Speaker
And they're all about looks and like, you know, putting on yeah airs or looking a certain way and, you know, blah, blah. So whether that's like literally how you, how your body looks or just like what your life looks like.
00:43:01
Speaker
Yeah. Or, but you know, how you're like, what choices you've made. Yeah. Their children are literally an extension of themselves and that they are a reflection of them. And so um,
00:43:15
Speaker
that's definitely more i'd say more true maybe at least as much as true as what he is saying because like yes she's a human being think probably both things are true that's what i mean they're yeah at least as true as each other because narcissists have certain behavior patterns and that's definitely one of them i think for her for sure because yeah she's concerned with how things look to other people from the outside and like you know wants to make sure everything looks perfect to everybody else and who cares what the child's like going through once or or what they're capable of yeah or like how their feelings are hurt yeah yeah i will i literally am not physically capable of being a size two right but that's all that she's ever wanted me to be right
00:44:09
Speaker
you know but She hasn't come out literally and said it, but you know all the comparisons she's ever done to from me to her when you know she peaked at a size 2, like her wedding dress is a size 2, and an size 2, which is different.
00:44:24
Speaker
if i If I lost, like or if I never ever got overweight, my like the thats the thinnest I could ever get size-wise would probably be an 8 or 10.
00:44:39
Speaker
yeah right because of my bone structure my literal skeleton is bigger than like yeah i ah but a beanpole yeah i've literally thought to myself like goddamn i remember being a size like 12 or 14 and feeling awful about it and now like wow i would be so like everything would be so different if i was just 12 or 14 like what the fuck yeah Yeah.
00:45:07
Speaker
Yeah. Because I think I was maybe when I was around 13 ish, I think I fit into a 10 at that point. and I had my pediatrician doctors telling me that I needed to lose weight
00:45:23
Speaker
dude like for real though I was like 130 or something and they're like you're like so seven pounds overweight or something I was like what yeah I remember being told i remember being told at 15 years old that I was obese Yeah, that's gross. When I had my physical to be able to do, to to be able to run cross country. It's like, oh no, no, no.
00:45:50
Speaker
Also, fucking for the record, for the absolute fucking record, BMI is absolute fucking fake science bullshit. yeah It is not fucking real. And also, the word obese is basically a slur yeah at this point.
00:46:05
Speaker
So, fuck all that shit. Yeah. Anyway. Oh my fucking God. I'm now mad. Thank you. Sorry. It's okay. But like, but like it's so it's just, it's very hard. It feels like walking on eggshells to talk about this subject.
00:46:22
Speaker
Um, and not say things like that because it's like, it's literally what we were told. Us, you and i and so many other countless other girls of our generations.
00:46:36
Speaker
Mm hmm. like I don't remember what weight I was specifically when my doctor told me that I was considered morbidly obese.
00:46:46
Speaker
Oh my god. That is a thing. That makes me want fucking punch someone. 220 or 30 or 50 I don't know don't even know god that's fucking absurd and I'm not I'm not at all like I don't give a shit about what anybody thinks about my weight I am currently about 285 I do not care okay and I'm 5 foot 5 so if that puts it in perspective for you okay there you go but I also never looked as heavy as my weight would suggest because I'm muscular as well and I always have been so anyway
00:47:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. that's That's all good. I don't fucking care. I'm 50 years old and I'm fat. And I don't care. I don't care. It shouldn't matter. It should never have mattered. shouldn't and it doesn't to me. i don't give a crap. That's why I'm publicly announcing my weight. I don't care.
00:47:44
Speaker
But it's like but it's like physically can't that level. i like physically cant beyond that level Like I'm so traumatized.
00:47:55
Speaker
That's like no matter how hard I work, no matter what I do, like I cannot at this point in my life be uncaring or or blah about it because it's still so triggering. It's still so fucking sensitive to me.
00:48:14
Speaker
You know, it's like I am working. I'm fighting tooth and nail to just be able to look at myself in the mirror every day. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And so like, that is, I think that's what I'm really trying to get at is just like, what was the fucking point?
00:48:33
Speaker
Why did I have to end up this goddamn traumatized? Yeah. That like, you know, just so that just so someone else could like cope. Yeah, exactly. With their own insecurities. Or like um yeah feel more secure. Or feel a little better about themselves.
00:48:49
Speaker
You know, take it out on their fucking adopted daughter. Like, what the fuck is that? Gross, gross, gross. So, I want to say that I am highly interested in looking for a psychiatrist who does hypnotherapy or hyp hypnotism for for therapeutic purposes.
00:49:09
Speaker
um so I'm very curious to see because I feel like i feel like in the past few months since I'm more able to meditate now than I ever used to be i'm more easily i'd probably be more easily susceptible to being hypnotized if that makes sense because they're basically the same kind of like brainwave state yeah um that I'd probably be
00:49:40
Speaker
actually able to be hypnotized and actually get some kind of like benefit from it yeah i want to try it i don't know i don't know where to go to start looking for somebody like to yeah get that kind of therapy but i'm really curious because i want to say what happened to me in past lives that have caused me to have the issues that i have in this life well have you ever considered um like studying or okay so like
00:50:11
Speaker
ay have done my own journeys to see my own past lives.
Self-Guided Past Life Regressions
00:50:18
Speaker
And i started down that road. it it started with a class on Udemy that I had bought.
00:50:26
Speaker
um That was specifically about past life regression. Yeah. um and that was the first time I ever saw anything to do with a past life.
00:50:37
Speaker
And uh then separately i was studying shamanism and shamanic journeying um and still am you know it's it's i think it's a lifetime it's a lifelong yeah study but uh you know it's that's what i got into and through learning about how to journey i um decided to basically do my own self-guided past life regressions.
00:51:09
Speaker
Like not even like looking for like a spoken guided meditation, not even going back into the, the past life regression class I had already purchased and gone through, but just like laying down, ah you know, putting on like, like a drumming track, like a shamanic drumming track,
00:51:30
Speaker
to sort of help me get into that state and then just seeing where my soul takes me. um And I wonder if that is something that you could see yourself like succeeding at trying to do.
00:51:50
Speaker
Because that's probably going to be more effective than trying to track down and pay for a psychiatrist that does hypnosis. Yeah.
00:52:01
Speaker
You know, because especially because I don't think that kind of psychiatrist would be covered by insurance. Sure. Sure. Not probably. I'm just curious. Like, I mean, I'd be very curious to do it.
00:52:14
Speaker
Yeah, but I think it's worth I think it's worth investigating. I think it's worth trying to explore how to do those kinds of things for yourself anyway. Regardless of if you ever find a professional to go to.
00:52:27
Speaker
apparently there's quite a few of them around here hell yeah well interesting I hope that some of them would take insurance but I guess you'll find out right yeah yeah yeah you'll have to we'll have to talk about that in and either another episode altogether or like in a private yeah conversation yeah yeah yeah I want to learn more from you about that stuff Yeah, ah it's it's such a big thing. Shamanism in general is such a big thing to try to talk about.
00:53:04
Speaker
I feel like I don't know how to yet. You know, and I've been I've i've called myself a shaman for like over six years now. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, it's like, oh, when is it going to get you? When am I going to feel legitimate?
00:53:21
Speaker
Maybe never. I don't know. We'll see. But I already started listening to his second book. Oh, yeah. Brian Weiss. Yeah. Which I don't know if I even said that like enough at the beginning.
00:53:34
Speaker
The author is Brian Weiss. He is the psychiatrist. Yeah. And Jim is working on the second book too, I think. Oh, really? i can't remember if he's read it before, but... There's a whole bunch.
00:53:46
Speaker
He's got yeah on a ton of books. Yeah. So... I think I saw a book in like audiobooks or... kindle unlimited selection options i think i saw one that was a brian weiss book but i think it was something to do with soulmates yeah i feel like that would be a really interesting one to read yeah i think he mentioned something about we have multiple soulmate soulmates because of the soul pod concept because that is brought up quite a bit in the book it talks about people who are who basically reincarnate together as different things like
00:54:24
Speaker
they show up as a different you know yeah like relationship i absolutely believe that i have multiple soulmates in this lifetime but they all play different roles in my life yeah and and always have played different roles yeah for sure i think maizey was a soulmate Maisie's one of my soul pods peoples.
00:54:47
Speaker
Come here. Yeah. She's a baby girl. Dog people. In that vein, I really think that Nigel nigel was soulmate, soul pod member of mine.
00:55:01
Speaker
oh Poor baby. i miss him. I miss him every fucking day. I'm so sorry. me too.
00:55:09
Speaker
Yeah. Um...
00:55:14
Speaker
yeah she's just a chunky face look at her little baby can you even see her over there i can see her yeah oh she's so sweet she's a good girl well i'm gonna have to read that book yeah do it i will hey when are you gonna put joe's book in the mail for me i'm gonna give it to you when you come out here in like two weeks Oh, okay. I'm not going to ship that thing.
00:55:44
Speaker
Spend 25 bucks to ship it. It's pretty big. Okay. Yeah. It ain't like this. It ain't like this. Yeah. It's quite substantial. Sorry. I heard that.
00:55:59
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to bring it and you can read. I could bring this one if you don't listen to your audio. of No, I'll, I'll have, I'll have my audio book. Like I honestly, I'll be able to listen to it.
00:56:10
Speaker
I'll probably listen to it before I'm driving out there, but I will be able to listen to it within half of the drive to Detroit. yeah So like, yeah, no worries. Don't, don't try to.
00:56:23
Speaker
I had mine on like 1.2 speed the whole time. Hmm.
00:56:29
Speaker
I it'll depend how I feel how slow it is I've had to do that with books in the past I'd had to do that with Kushiel's Dart yeah um just because the narrator was so slow like I rarely feel like I need somebody to pick up the pace because I often have like auditory like processing slowness um but with her nope had to do it on 1.2 uh but that's the only one like everything else I've ever listen to, I've had to just leave it at the regular speed. Yeah.
00:57:00
Speaker
So we'll see. But I am not going to be in a rush regardless. It's fine. um But yeah, so ah this... This is interesting because like, it feels like the first time in forever that we've sat down and had like a regular episode, just the two of us.
Return to Regular Episodes
00:57:17
Speaker
Um, because I mean, I know that two weeks ago was technically a regular episode cause we were talking about on a hottest purpose and it was just the two of us, but like that was also us recapping on a hottest purpose and not picking a topic to talk about.
00:57:30
Speaker
Yeah. You know, was a little different. Um, and then last week you were busy and couldn't join, And then before Anahata's Purpose, we had two weeks off. No, last week I, well, was it a bonus episode that we did?
00:57:43
Speaker
But like, the the one is where I talked about Jim, i when I talked about you and Jim's, like I had to. Right, right. So the regular episodes. The regular episodes, it was just me and Jim last week.
00:57:58
Speaker
Okay. Before last week, like the week before last, it was the Anahata's episode. And then we took two weeks off. Yeah. So it's been like a month since we've sat down and had like a proper like this is our topic. Let's talk about it episode. Yeah.
00:58:16
Speaker
Anyway. And it feels good. Your dog is abusing you. She shook her head so fast her ear whipped by face and it hurt.
00:58:27
Speaker
It like hurt. ah Yeah. you I believe it. She got a giant fucking ear Right. too Two giant fucking ears. She's a little bat girl. So yeah, this this has been fun and go get the book
Book Recommendation and Listener Engagement
00:58:42
Speaker
or whatever.
00:58:42
Speaker
Go to the library. check it out. just Everybody should check it out. Get it from the library or go sit in the library and read it if you're a quick reader. It's good. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.
00:58:53
Speaker
um Thank you for joining us. We'll see. I mean, we've we've reached an hour and so we're saying that's why it's been an hour. But like, I don't know how much I'm going to cut out. So we'll how long it actually ends up being. But it's okay. We I think we're due for a short one today.
00:59:08
Speaker
ah Regardless. But um yeah, thank you for joining. Thank you for sticking by us. And ah please. hit follow, hit subscribe, ah you know, get our episodes downloaded every week whenever we upload.
00:59:25
Speaker
um Please also check us out on Instagram. Christina, hit them with that Instagram handle. ah At SoulPod the podcast. Yeah, bitch.
00:59:37
Speaker
And if you want to write us an email, if you want to tell us your input on Many Lives, Many Masters, or any other work by Brian Weiss, you can write us an email at soulpodthepodcast at gmail.com.
Promoting Patreon and Listener Support
00:59:51
Speaker
Fuck yeah. and we have a Patreon. And it's a good one. I think our Patreon is thebomb.com. on the bomb diggity as the uh olds would say it's actually patreon.com not the bomb.com but patreon.com slash so yes and links are all below obviously also linky in the description link in bio there's a youtuber that my kid watches who oh he's really funny he makes me laugh so fucking much but he always says linky in the description my god
01:00:34
Speaker
both
01:00:38
Speaker
the infantilization of words freaks me out a little bit sometimes linky dink o I hate that.
Episode Conclusion with Laughter
01:00:47
Speaker
i don't know why, but I hate it.
01:00:50
Speaker
ah Oh, no. I need you to stop. Cease and desist. ah he ah de sir Oh my god!
01:01:02
Speaker
Why are you braying like a donkey now? I'm honking!
01:01:08
Speaker
Oh no! Alright, we gotta go. Thank you so much for being here. We'll be back next week with more ah chaotic nonsense.
01:01:19
Speaker
um But for now, we hope everyone has a beautiful day or night. and And we hope everyone locks their back door. Because we're coming for you.
01:01:32
Speaker
Molly, what was that you are you were eating earlier out of a bag that spilled juice up your sleeve? Dilly Bites. Are they the Oh Snap brand? They are the Oh Snap brand.
01:01:46
Speaker
They are the stupidest name for a brand today. Dilly Bites, Dill Pickle Snacking Cuts. The ones that I poured the brine down my sleeve.
01:01:58
Speaker
So, lock your back door Molly's going to be pouring some brine in your... I'm going to sneak in and pour brine in your pajamas. Ew! Ha ha ha ha!
01:02:10
Speaker
We gotta go. We gotta go. We gotta go. Bye.