To Anyone Going Through A Breakup

Transcript

Speaker: Hey guys, so welcome back to the podcast. So today we are going to be talking about something a bit deep and serious. And honestly, I have put this off for a very, very long time. Well,

Speaker: Does this seem like a very long time? It's been, I don't know, two months now? Two, three months. It's gonna be three months soon. In case you guys don't know, what I'm referring to is the breakup. So I think I did mention it in one of the updates, in one of the episodes, I think. That was probably under starting a new chapter or something. I think that's probably where it was.

Speaker: But yeah, I think I am finally, I don't think I will ever be super ready, but I feel like if I talk about it, like after six months or a year, it's gonna be like so pointless. And I feel like it still feels a bit raw because I think we broke up like on September 18th. So it's been like two months.

Speaker: It's going to be three months in December. So I just thought I am OK to talk about it and go over it. So I'm going to be talking about that, like the healing process and everything. So that's the episode for today. But before now, let me tell you guys a little bit update because there's so much happened in this just one week, which is so crazy how things just escalate so quickly, just happened so fast.

Speaker: that I submitted an application for the apartment and got it approved and there were a bunch of other things that was happening. I was looking for furniture in the meantime while I was waiting on the lease and everything. I finally signed the lease today. Now I have to figure out all the other things.

Speaker: I did not realize, I feel like in the past this was never a thing and this is just so common these days but also it depends on very moving. Obviously because Miami is like a coastal area so there's a lot of stuff could happen so insurance is a huge huge thing. So they do require like renters insurance which I did have one from New York but turns out like you cannot just like

Speaker: I really thought it was so easy that you could just like switch of a button you can just change it which I did on my profile turns out you have to get like new quote because it's like different area which like it doesn't make sense but it just never it never came across my mind but yeah like those things is like very there some buildings are strict some buildings are not but in Miami especially buildings are super strict before you move in you have to have all of those things figured out

Speaker: Like as easy as thing part was like getting like a you know electricity and everything I still have to figure out the Internet that's one thing that's left But overall everything is coming together. It's just so crazy to me that it's all happening and

Speaker: Like, it was in two, three days. It's happening, like, incredibly fast. I am incredibly excited and scared. It's just like it's such a big change and big difference I'm making, although I will be coming to New York still here and there a lot. But it's just so different. Like, I am very excited and very scared.

Speaker: because I have to change so many things in my life and it's truly, I just cannot express it. I'm very, very, I'm excited that I'm doing it but it's also very scary that I'm making this decision and I know for sure that I feel like this is something that I should try.

Speaker: And I would say this, this is not even an update anymore but just as like a lot of people if you are making these changes or maybe more big changes would happen to you or you're expecting them. Have some faith because it is about to happen, it will happen. And also I feel like we cannot stay in our comfort zone for too long.

Speaker: It's good to be in the comfort zone for a while, but we won't grow from it. And that's why I'm actually I decided this whole thing and this move because I feel like I like New York is my comfort zone. And I feel like I need to be out of it to do different things and to learn different things.

Speaker: As much as I feel like New York had so much offer to me, which I will definitely get into an episode just completely talking about it and how it is going to be so different for me. But I just want to say that this whole thing is more about getting out of my comfort zone and trying new things. And that's why I'm hoping that it goes well. So we shall see how that works out. But that's a little bit update for today. Now let's get on to today's episode.

Speaker: okay so i don't even know where to start and i got this idea i think i was going to make an episode about this anyways but just like i feel like i was feeling so emotional at the time that's why i didn't want to make it because i feel like i would just like burst into tears

Speaker: but I have watched like and listened to many episodes about breakup and recently also one of the someone on YouTube also did like oh two or I think it was like three months like post breakup update or something like that so this is kind of like my post breakup update because it's not like we just broke up now so it's been a it's been like two months now

Speaker: But I just wanted to share my thoughts and if you're going through a breakup or if you have, I don't know, you just broke up, maybe some of this will be helpful for you. So first thing I would say is

Speaker: I feel like my new breakup, especially at the time, emotions are so raw and like everything just feels too much. Especially being away from that person that you have spent almost like 24 seven like of your life.

Speaker: Well, of your life, I mean, depending on how long was the relationship, but just 24 seven. It's just it's quite a lot and like it feels very weird and just so odd. Like it's just so odd to be not with that person. And the thing is, I say this is that like I think every relationship is obviously different and even some relationships that are not even healthy.

Speaker: still make you miss that person and I want to put it out there not to say that like I feel like

Speaker: Oh my God, you like you want toxicity in your life because I don't think that's the case. But I feel like you can't just erase someone from your life. It just happens over time. Like the someone you love, you cannot just like be like, I don't love you anymore. Like it just doesn't like that. You can say those words, but like.

Speaker: you cannot you cannot potentially just unlove someone that easily it's like it comes in stages and it's just like slowly unlove someone and people I read this on the internet I don't know if it is accurate but they said for every year that you have been in a relationship it takes about a month to like get over them

Speaker: So in my case, it's been like over two years, like it's going to be like three years in November. So I feel like it's going to take me like about like, I guess, three, I don't know, three months, essentially, I'm guessing. I don't know. But yeah, that's just like the estimates that people are saying. But also on top of it, I would say give yourself a lot of time for in the beginning of the breakup, because I remember

Speaker: like when it first happened and after every day afterwards and I would just like burst into tears and I don't know like necessarily why just like everything made me so sad and I would like listen to podcasts and I would like do things and I remember like I was in my car I don't know I think I was getting like a my booster shot or something like that I was listening to these podcasts and like

Speaker: I was just like in tears. I was crying. It's just it's just it's very hard at that time because so many things reminds you of them and so many things that you did together.

Speaker: It's not easy to just like forget those memories. And I think on top of it, the places that you have been together with that person and passing those places, it just feels like you're in a simulation.

Speaker: you know like when you're in a simulation it's like you see this stuff and it's like it's as real as it could get but it's like you don't feel like you're there and that's what it feels like because it's like you have been there with that person and now you're there it's just like it feels so odd

Speaker: to be there. It just doesn't feel real because like I feel like when you had so many memories with that person and when you go back to that place, it just it feels it feels so surreal. It really does. And again, it just doesn't have anything to do with how much you love that person because it's so different. But I feel like when you get attached to that person and you know, you have this

Speaker: connection with them it's just so hard to let go of that and I know that for myself is like it's just because I don't know if it is the Virgo in me or just like I guess I just or just me because I don't let in let people in so easily

Speaker: but when I do let someone in it's just like I I see them as a like part of my family like part of part of my crowd I guess and I would want to keep you keep them around so I feel like the fact that if someone was in my crowd and like is in my circle and to just like

Speaker: detach them from my circle. It's just it's so hard. It's incredibly hard. I feel like even nowadays is like there are like I feel like I am totally over about the whole the breakup thing. But like to be totally over someone is a different thing because I feel like the process of breakup is one thing because when you go through that

Speaker: at the time like everything is emotional like you're just going over so many things especially because like mine was way worse i would say because i because we were living together the fact that if we weren't living together i feel like it would have been a bit

Speaker: easier. Personally, I would say that because if you don't live together, yeah, like you go to each other's places a lot and stuff, but you don't have that many personal belongings, that many things. Maybe you do. I don't know. But it's just very different versus like when you are, when you have been living together and like

Speaker: then you had to move out and everything. It's so different. It's incredibly painful to go through your stuff and pack them while they're in the other room. It's just like, it doesn't feel real. And I feel like everything I was packing, everything I was putting together, I was crying. Because I was like, why there are so many stuff? Like why there's more, a lot of stuff.

Speaker: It was incredibly painful. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. It's an awful feeling. Incredibly awful feeling because you feel so empty.

Speaker: Especially like you're in the same place as them, but like you just feel so empty like and I feel like nothing makes you happy like everything makes you sad and that's why I don't even know why it makes me sad now because I thought like I was I Was over it, but clearly not but yeah, everything just makes you sad I remember many times especially that week that whole thing happened and

Speaker: I was like in my car going to places and like I don't know like trying to I guess distract myself and get things out of my head and like just like really feel everything that's one thing I was trying to do and I would recommend this to everyone too it's like it is a process and you cannot expect that you will just be over it immediately

Speaker: Especially when it first happens because it's so raw. Let yourself feel things so like you get over it. And not to say like because I feel like sometimes we don't want to believe in that thing that like oh my god like how this person can never be part of my life and it's just like

Speaker: It's just a sad truth that you know some people are just not meant to be in our life All the time like maybe next stage of our life or some might call it like new season of our life So it's like it could be different person or it could be just you by yourself like being single which is okay

Speaker: I feel like being single does not mean that you're alone or you're lonely. Even being alone does not mean that you're lonely. So it's like very different. And I try to I think I'm going to embrace that. But I feel like one thing I'm learning and I am I'm glad I am taking this step.

Speaker: is to not like date right away because I have done that before in the past like just after one after one relationship get into another and another and another it was I feel like I never let myself discover myself I guess like or be by myself because I always felt so I don't know like it was so scary for me to be by myself

Speaker: I was always happy to be around with people and I think and now I'm realizing it's like that's one reason I feel like this journey of me going moving to Miami and live by myself it's like it's going to be very therapeutic for me to discover myself work on myself

Speaker: have, I don't know, like, be better version of myself, but also so I can heal. Because even nowadays, it's been just two months, right? But I still cannot picture myself to, like, date someone right now. I just can't. And not to say that, like,

Speaker: I'm not open to it in the future, that's definitely a different story, but I feel like I still have to focus on myself and like just be more, I guess like be more there for myself and like, because I feel like I'm not truly healed and I feel like I have read this in many places too. It's like when you're not truly healed from your past experiences or from your past relationship,

Speaker: Whatever you're going to do next, it's going to bleed into that relationship. And I never want that to happen. I do want to make sure I am truly healed from this experience. And not to say that this was truly a traumatizing experience, because it was not.

Speaker: But, you know, it still hurts. Breakups are not easy. I do want to make sure I am truly healed from it and I am completely over it so I can move on to something better because it still feels raw and places because I feel like I was okay for a while after them, I don't know, first months or so.

Speaker: But then there has been times that I have been walking around or going to places in my head. It just keeps going like, oh, we used to do this together or I don't know, like we used to go to movies together or I could just I could have texted in this. But I like I can't do that anymore.

Speaker: I feel like although we are not in like bad terms but like I really want to give him the space to heal and so he does also for me too so we can both heal because I feel like right after the breakup we didn't necessarily like cut the communication right away it was kind of like slowly happening

Speaker: And I feel like that's why we really need to heal both of us. But there are many times I just wanted to text and just say something, or I don't know, like share something. And I don't know, it just feels so odd that there are things that, exciting things that could be happening in your life. And you cannot share that with the one person that you really wanted to share the most.

Speaker: It truly sucks. It really sucks and I feel like this is so different and I don't want to even say it in a bad way. Because when I had the relationship and everything wasn't a relationship, I just kind of felt like I had everything.

Speaker: And again, not to say that people who are not in a relationship, they don't have everything because it's a completely different story. But it's just like I had my family, I had him and like I had my sister. Like everyone was like, like I feel like everything was finally working out in my favor. I mean, there were many times that we had ups and downs, but I never saw it in a way that that would just not

Speaker: I guess, work out badly because I was like, you know, it's a relationship. There's always compromises and things. But no, I'm not like I feel like I'm I'm understanding that why it happened. And I like it was definitely mutual in the way. But I feel like at the time I thought I have everything.

Speaker: and slowly things were happening to me. But now it kind of feels like I am starting over. And I know it's not. It's not like that. I feel like part of life is that you're always kind of starting over. You might start over now or you might start over later.

Speaker: It's kind of like circle of life, I guess. But yeah, at the time, that's what it felt like. And now it just feels so different. And it feels so surreal to me because I feel like so many things happened while we were in a relationship, many big milestones.

Speaker: happened in our relationship. Like while we were together, like he bought a house and like I got a car, like there were many big things, big milestones happened while we were together and that just means so much to me and I cannot just like remove those memories from my head.

Speaker: But I'm just trying to keep them in a place that I don't necessarily like completely forget them. Obviously, that's not what I want to do because I never want to see that like past two years of my life as a mistake because it was not. But I do want to be in a place that I could be.

Speaker: I don't know like how I can be like I can feel like I am over it so I can be on to like I can move on to other things I guess and uh but it's hard but that's why I wanted to make this episode that after two months that's how I feel because I think there are times that I am incredibly happy in everything but then there are times that I feel

Speaker: Like everything is just happening too fast. Even this whole process of like me moving to Miami. Because it's like so soon. Like, right, like breakup happened and now this is happening because I decided to move to Miami.

Speaker: Like essentially right after the breakup, but it was not because of the breakup. It was always in my plan After a while it was not like because of the breakup because I'm not trying to compensate but

Speaker: It just all happened so quickly going to see the apartments and everything and now like me ending the year by moving to Miami. It just feels so surreal, incredibly surreal and

Speaker: And I just can't believe that I am closing the chapter like this. And I know I keep saying it that I am gonna come back to New York and everything, but it's just gonna be so different. It's gonna be a completely different lifestyle. And I definitely do not want to cry, but I feel like this chapter of me is coming to an end. It just feels...

Speaker: it feels very sad to me that like I I was picturing it to end it differently but it ended like this and I I really wish that like it was not I really wish I wasn't like

Speaker: I don't know, like I wasn't this emotional. I really thought like I was okay with it, but I feel like there are little things that comes up either when I'm walking on the street or when I'm on social media.

Speaker: because we recently, like, unfollowed each other. Like, I know these are all the process to, like, get over them and, like, move on. I'm glad, like, at this we are not on the stage that we are blocking each other, but at this, like, we are moving on, but it still sucks. It still hurts. Even after two months, like,

Speaker: It is still, it still feels very raw to a point. Then I guess like eventually it just stops hurting less. That's why I was trying to make this episode. So I'm gonna just try to stop here because

Speaker: I feel like I'm getting too emotional and this is like not gonna go in anywhere because I feel like there's like a combination of many things that's happening with me right now so I'm gonna keep another one about me moving away from New York for another episode because it's different so I feel like that's why maybe my emotions are a bit heightened because a lot of things are kind of happening at the same time but

Speaker: That's the update of me from the breakup after two months. So I hope this gives you guys some idea. If you're going through that, I hope you're okay. Please take care of yourself. Please be with your friends. Have a good support system because it really does make a big difference.

Speaker: I hope you guys like this episode. If you do, please don't forget to rate us on Apple podcast or where we get your podcast. And I'll see you guys next week with another episode. Bye guys.