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21: Types 5, 6, and 7 - Experiencing Spiritual and Relational Growth with the Enneagram
29 Plays5 months ago
The Holy Week reflections Laura Fleetwood created on Jesus and how he exuded all of the 9 personality types from the ancient spiritual growth tool called the enneagram generated a lot of buzz. Jill Devine asked Laura to dig deeper and explain more about the enneagram and how it applies to our every day lives, as well as our spiritual lives.
In this week’s episode, Laura provides a general overview of enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 – the head center.
Learn Your Own Enneagram Type by Taking this Free Assessment: https://coach.yourenneagramcoach.com/laura-fleetwood
Gospel-Centered Enneagram Explanations:
https://messiahstcharles.org/origins-download/
https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/should-christians-use-the-enneagram
Enneagram Books:
Enneagram Coaching for Individual or Couple: Contact Laura Fleetwood at laura@seekingthestill.com
Normal Goes A Long Way Website: https://www.normalgoesalongway.com/
Normal Goes A Long Way Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/normalgoesalongway/
Normal Goes A Long Way Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Normal-Goes-A-Long-Way-110089491250735
Normal Goes A Long Way is brought to you by Messiah St. Charles: https://messiahstcharles.org/
Two Kids and A Career: https://www.jilldevine.com/podcast
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Transcript
Introduction to Seeking the Still
00:00:01
Speaker
Seeking the Still is produced by Jill Devine Media. Welcome to the Seeking the Still podcast with me, your host, Laura Fleetwood.
00:00:14
Speaker
In this safe space, we come together to seek the still amid chaotic lives.
Finding Calm Amid Chaos
00:00:19
Speaker
To get honest about what overwhelms us, to become connected to one another and to the divine, to step into who we were created to be. Always real, never perfect, and forever on your side.
00:00:36
Speaker
You can listen back to the last two episodes to get a feel for why we're doing this, but we are in it. And now we are going to tackle five, six, and sevens.
Understanding Enneagram Types
00:00:47
Speaker
And you had already mentioned, Laura, that you are a seven. And through you, I have found out that my husband is a seven, which makes a lot of sense. And now I'm like, oh! And I think it's important because we've been talking about how this is a spiritual growth tool for yourself, but it also helps in your closest relationships. And I think it has taught me how to view certain conflicts or certain ways of thinking that Brian does, my husband, that I didn't realize before. I think he still needs to ah read through all my things. but
00:01:31
Speaker
He's not into any gram as much as you are. I mean, yeah. And I said, now do you understand why I am the way I am? He's like, well, I'll be honest. I haven't read yours yet. I'm like, oh, okay. But I'm giving him grace. So let's get into fives, six and sevens. So five, six and seven are the head center of intelligence. So these are our thinkers. Yeah. Okay. They like to spend a lot of time in their head. And the type five specifically, um the the phrase you might hear to describe them is the investigative thinker. These people are very perceptive, insightful, intelligent, but they also might come across as a little bit detached or isolated because their thirst for knowledge and like understanding and knowing things is so strong that they can comfortably just live in their head.
00:02:29
Speaker
Okay. Without having so much of the need for um interacting with others or displaying emotions or things like that. So type fives also are very cognizant of their energy levels. And so you will notice with a type five that they are, you know, interacting with others and then they might just back away. And that's because they have to like fill themselves back up.
Type 5: The Investigative Thinker
00:02:56
Speaker
Got it. Okay. In order to interact again. So the core fear for a type five is um being thought incapable or not smart, having obligations placed upon you that you didn't choose and having your energy depleted. That's a core fear. Core desire is that they would be knowledgeable, capable and competent. And their core weakness um is avarice. So feeling that they might lack
00:03:29
Speaker
the resources that they need um and that interactions with other people might lead them to be depleted of their energy. So then they might withhold themselves from the world because they're trying to like maximize their resources. So we might see a lot of introverts. And what they want to hear their core longing is that you are not a problem. Your needs are not a problem. It's okay for you to be this way in the world. Yeah, ah ah so we need type 5s because they are the thinkers. you know They're the ones that just want to know and like never get tired of thinking.
Type 6: The Loyal Guardian
00:04:12
Speaker
And they they may experience a lot of overwhelm in their life because of the pace at which we tend, especially in American culture, to live because they're so sensitive to not wanting to be overwhelmed.
00:04:28
Speaker
Interesting. Okay. For type five, s the investigative thinker, their stress path is that they would move to an unhealthy seven. And their growth path is that they would move to a healthy eight. So that is what if I were coaching someone, I would help them understand when they're starting to display those characteristics and then how to step back into um living on the healthy side with God's help. Would you say thinker is also research? Do they like to do a lot of research? Very much so, very much so. And remember, their center of intelligence is their head. So these might be people, especially the fives, who really have, they're making a decision, they have to really know it's right with facts and data. Okay, good to know because I do not like research.
00:05:22
Speaker
you can certainly say you're not a type five. Right. Okay, type six. Okay, type six is the loyal guardian. This is what my husband is. He's a type six, which is interesting having a type six and a type seven. so and These are such loyal people committed, responsible, faithful. If a type six says they're going to do something, they will do it. Like it would be they would consider it a moral failure. if they didn't follow through. But then the the flip side of that, the shadow side is that they can be very suspicious and anxious. So the core fear of a type six is actually fear. Type six is fear, fear itself. um They fear being without support, security or guidance. They fear being blamed or targeted, alone or physically abandoned.
00:06:21
Speaker
So the core desire for a six is to have high security, guidance and support in their life. And then the weakness is is actually anxiety. So this is what sixes do. They will constantly monitor the world and and themselves in the situations to predict and overcome negative consequences. So these are the people who are planning for the worst case scenario, always. They're always scanning to say what could go wrong? And how can I be prepared if that were to happen? oh So that's like that constant diligence. And then the core line is that you are safe and secure. So you would want a type six if you're doing disaster planning. I was just going to say the apocalypse. So under stress, the type six moves to an unhealthy type three. And under health, the type six moves to an a healthy type nine.
00:07:19
Speaker
Justin is your husband. He's not here. So if you don't want to speak on his behalf, I understand. But do you feel like you can pinpoint certain things that he does that are this? because I'm just interested in knowing because for me, I don't feel like I have a lot of experience with, and maybe I do, I just don't know their types, but like I always hear about types twos and sevens, twos and sevens. It just feels like that's. That's because you work with a lot of twos and sevens. Okay. That will make sense then. Okay. So that's why I'm like, well, I want more. I want to know more about other types.
00:07:58
Speaker
So you'll find this interesting. There was a study that showed that more Americans are a type six than any other type. Interesting. OK. All right. But back to your question. Yeah, Justin. Yes, for sure. So he definitely, if he says he's going to do something, it will get done. um he Here's a great example. So let's say we're getting ready to go on vacation. ok He has spreadsheets of all the things that we need to bring so that we wouldn't forget anything. ok He is the one that packs the car. um As soon as he wakes up in the morning, you know the girls and I will be all excited. We're going on a trip, we're going on a trip, yay, yay, yay. He is already in his mind thinking about everything that he needs to do to get us there safely.
00:08:53
Speaker
So he does not like enjoy the travel. It's like pressure and weight on his shoulders to get us there without any catastrophe happening. And only once we get there, might he be able to relax might and enjoy the trip. So um it's funny because you know he's the one that worries about money in our relationship. um He's the one that that worries about the cars and all the things. and um And I so appreciate that about him because as a type seven, which will con...
00:09:31
Speaker
you know which which we'll cover next, I don't think about those things at all. I will say something that you said in the previous episode, maybe was it the threes that do all the lists? and they me they may they they I love a good list, so I can appreciate
Interpreting Scripture Through Diverse Perspectives
00:09:49
Speaker
a three and a six if they're going to do that. like that I could do all of those things. Well, you know that's a good point because when you think about teens, So I'm getting my doctorate in leadership. And so we do a lot of thinking about teams and who you'd want to have on a team. It would be ideal to have one of every number, of every type, right? I mean, yeah, I get frustrated, but that would be good because I, not frustrated, I shouldn't say that. I like to learn.
00:10:20
Speaker
ah not so much back in the day. I didn't want, not that I didn't want to hear people's opinions, but it was like, wait, wait, you can shift mind. Like I can change something that I thought was so right. yeah But now I really appreciate it because I want to hear and to understand and to see. And especially when it comes to and getting in scripture, like we've talked about this on this podcast so many times that Being in scripture, the context, and the times that they were in when these things were written, like it is very hard. My feelings come into play, and I do need other types to say, whoa, whoa, whoa. yeah Here's this.
00:11:08
Speaker
so it would actually be really cool to have all of that, but then my brain would also explode with all the things. So let's think about that for a minute. You know, scripture was written by actual people who had actual personalities and saw the world a certain way. Yeah. That may be very different from the way you see the world. Totally. And so when, you know, we're getting, when you're reading Luke, And he is bringing the perspective of a physician, and he's like wanting to document the facts. The way he is narrating that book might be very different from the way somebody who had a different personality would have documented it. And so we do need to keep that in mind.
Type 7: The Entertaining Optimist
00:11:53
Speaker
as well. I didn't even think about that. and Oh man, if you start putting types on all the books, kind of. Yeah, and it would be hard to know, but that's why it's so important when you are discussing scripture to get perspectives from a lot of different people because they will they will read it differently. Great example that just came to mind is you and I, along with our husbands, we co-lead a community group, a couples community group. And one of the questions that we had was, as an icebreaker, what's one question you would ask God? And as I'm listening to everybody and all the questions that they said, it I find, and and I almost didn't say it, because I felt stupid. I interpreted that question as,
00:12:45
Speaker
Well, if I have a question to ask God, then I'm dead. So I'm asking him when I'm face to face with him. And i've so that frames my question a little bit differently. And I do remember a few of you going, oh, we didn't think of it that way. And then there was somebody else that thought of it the same way as me. And that it was nice to hear these different ways of thinking. And I think that that's so important. It's so important. We have to do that. We do. We do. Okay. Anything else you want to add on sixes before we get to you sevens? Let's dive into sevens. So the type seven again is part of the the head center of intelligence, the head, what we call the head triad. And the descriptor for a seven is the entertaining optimist. So these are people that you might see as playful,
00:13:40
Speaker
excitable, versatile, um but they can also at times the shadow side be scattered or be escapists. So the core fear of a type seven is being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, limited, bored, which I can relate to, or missing out on something fun. Their core desire is to be happy, fully satisfied and content. And the weakness is gluttony, not just in the sense of ah food, but like feeling like we have this emptiness inside and we have to fill it up with something, whether it's experiences or stimulation or projects or so that we could be satisfied. So like a type seven is never fully satisfied. And then the core longing for a seven is that you will be taken care of. So sevens are one that um can be easily typecast, I think, by a lot of people.
00:14:36
Speaker
because sevens usually are um outgoing and kind of like the life of the party, like the the ones that will jump out of an airplane or, you know, constantly chasing that next dopamine hit, adrenaline hit. ok um But not all sevens are are extroverts. um I'm kind of an ambivert. I can be both, kind of in the middle. So sevens, when they're under stress, move toward an unhealthy one. They become perfectionists. Under health, they move toward a healthy type five. So a seven who's usually very like jumping from idea to idea or project to project can become very focused and analytical under health. Oh, yeah. I see that with Brian. Do you resonate with with much of that for him?
00:15:29
Speaker
see like diving into new things all the time. Yep. Uh-huh. I think we've had many conversations. I'm like, Oh, you want to take photography lessons now. Okay. So you went and bought that. Is there a photography certificate or anything? No, no, no. Yes. He definitely likes to try new things. I think what probably hits me with him is the optimism. And yeah, let's talk about that. That that is good. Like that is I don't think you realize sometimes my mom told me a story not too long ago about something that Brian had said to her.
00:16:11
Speaker
And she said she'll never forget it. And it was just like a regular conversation, but his his take on it was very optimistic. And she said it made her feel bad. it it It actually helped her because she shifted her way of thinking after that. And I told him that and I said, I don't think I recognize that enough about you. Like you when he's not and where when he says something negative, I'm like, what is wrong with you? He's under stress. Yeah. So here's the good and bad about being an optimist. Sevens will reframe everything to be positive. like It could be the darkest situation and they'll be the ones to try to find the silver lining, right which can be very helpful. But the core fear that they're running from is they don't want to feel pain. And you can't go through this life without feeling pain. yeah So I look back on my life and I go, oh, that's why I had an emotional breakdown at the age of 37.
00:17:11
Speaker
Cause for 37 years, I was reframing everything to be hunky dory. yeah And I never dealt with my crap. I never dealt with the hurt and the pain. And you can only shove that down for so long. So for a seven, having people that they can be safe with to really, who can really dig in and say, okay, but how are you really? yeah Because they won't want to to tell you. Be still.