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9: An Unexpected Death Brings an Unexpected Gift
177 Plays3 years ago
As Laura experiences the death of a loved one, she takes a break from the interviews of season two to tell you about the story and share the very first Be Still meditation she ever created.
To learn more about the products Laura mentions in this episode, visit podcast sponsor, Cindy Jenks, an ambassador with QSciences at myqwellness.com or email her questions at [email protected].
Seeking The Still Website: Seekingthestill.com
Seeking The Still Instagram: Instagram.com/seekingthestill
Seeking The Still Facebook: Facebook.com/seekthestill
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Transcript
Introduction to Seeking the Still
00:00:01
Speaker
Seeking the Still is produced by Jill Devine Media. Welcome to the Seeking the Still podcast with me, your host, Laura Fleetwood.
00:00:14
Speaker
In this safe space, we come together to seek the still amid chaotic lives. To get honest about what overwhelms us, to become connected to one another and to the divine, to step into who we were created to be. Always real, never perfect, and forever on your side.
Life Changes and Episode Shift
00:00:38
Speaker
Welcome to the Seeking the Still podcast, and I know I promised you an interview with my daughters Audrey and Anna, but some life has happened since last week.
00:00:49
Speaker
And I didn't want to not have a podcast for you this week. So we're doing something a little bit different for this episode. And that is the beauty of having your own art, your own podcast, your own blog, whatever it may be, is that you get to write the rules.
Uncle Bob's Legacy
00:01:09
Speaker
So today I'd like to just invite you into my life over the past week or so and tell you what God has been doing and give you some encouragement for your day as you seek the still this week. I have a beloved uncle, his name is Bob, and we spend every Thanksgiving.
00:01:35
Speaker
with Bob and my Aunt Becky. They live in an old home in a beautiful town in Northern Illinois. And they are an important part of our life. Bob was a Renaissance man in the truest
00:01:55
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form. He was a musical genius, played many instruments, was in many bands over the years. And he had a passion to do something unique with his life. So in addition to his music and just being in general and a wonderful, a wonderful, amazing Christian guy, he developed a love for chocolates and
00:02:25
Speaker
Over 20 years ago, he and Becky went all in and created their own chocolate shop.
00:02:32
Speaker
in Geneva, Illinois. Its name is Graham's Chocolate. And over the years, Graham's Chocolate and Bob Untied became an important part of who Geneva is, who their community is. You could walk by their shop and see him making chocolates through the front window. He was just a permanent fixture at holidays and community events.
00:03:01
Speaker
And over the years, their business grew and grew and grew. They added more shops and they added a coffee shop called 318 and their family, their daughters entered the business. It was just an amazing life. Well, over this past year, Bob was diagnosed with cancer and he fought privately, but bravely. And just a few weeks ago, two weeks ago, the
00:03:31
Speaker
Cancer had taken over his body and he passed away in our beloved Thanksgiving home in the arms of my aunt Becky. And it was a shock to all of us because he was such a vibrant man.
Community and Farewell
00:03:53
Speaker
And he was such an inspiration to me because he had a dream to do something different, to create something of his own that would give so much to his community and bless so many people and bring so much happiness and joy. He had that dream and he didn't just dream it. He did it. And he did it with such integrity and beauty that it just overflowed into the lives
00:04:23
Speaker
people all over the country, really. So we went up for Bob's funeral a week ago. The family was there. The community was there. And I had the honor of reciting Bob's favorite song.
00:04:44
Speaker
And I want to read the song to you today. And then I want to talk to you a little bit about what God has taught me over these past few weeks. So Bob's favorite song was by an artist named Bruce Coburn. And the title of the song is Pacing the Cage. Sunset is an angel weeping.
00:05:13
Speaker
holding out a bloody sword. No matter how hard I squint, I cannot make out what it's pointing toward. Sometimes you feel like you live too long. Days drip slowly on the page. You catch yourself pacing the cage.
00:05:35
Speaker
I've proven who I am so many times, the magnetic strips worn thin, and each time I was someone else and everyone was taken in. Hours chatter in high places, stir up eddies in the dust of rage, set me to, pacing the cage.
00:05:57
Speaker
I never knew what all you wanted, so I gave you everything. All that I could pillage, all the spells that I could sing. It's as if the thing were written in the constitution of the age. Sooner or later, you'll wind up pacing the cage. Sometimes the best map will not guide you. You can't see what's around the bend.
00:06:26
Speaker
Sometimes the road leads through dark places. Sometimes the darkness is your friend. Today, these eyes scan bleached out land for the coming of the outbound stage, pacing the cage, pacing the cage. I had never heard that song until Becky asked me to recite it. And then I listened to it over and over and over again.
00:06:54
Speaker
because I wanted to get the sentiment of the song in my words so that we could all feel the power of why Bob loved that song so much. And I never got to talk to him about why that was his favorite song. But as I read it and as I let it sink into me, I could feel the tension in it, the tension that I feel so often in my life.
00:07:24
Speaker
the tension of knowing that we were designed by God to be all that we can be, to be beauty, to be art, to be a creation, his creation, to make a special mark on this world that only we can make.
00:07:55
Speaker
But this world took a turn from that original design. And even though we know that we were created for that purpose and that beauty, the tension of the world we live in gets in the way. The tension of our own ego, of our own desire to want to please other people, of our own fear of failure, of our own
00:08:22
Speaker
frustration with knowing that we were created to be this glorious work of art and yet not being able to because of our humanity and our brokenness. And so we paste the cage. We paste the cage knowing that heaven, that perfection is out there.
00:08:49
Speaker
But at this moment, we're somehow not able to be fully in it yet. And now Bob is not pacing the cage anymore. He is in heaven.
00:09:03
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He is able to be his full self as God intended him to be in all the beauty and glory that it is. And the rest of us are still pacing the cage. We will be there one day, but right now, what are we to do?
Introspection during Holy Week
00:09:26
Speaker
So all of that was on my mind. And then my daughter, Audrey, got sick.
00:09:32
Speaker
early last week, and she had all the signs and symptoms of COVID, low oxygen, high fever, and it was Holy Week. So we had just left Bob's funeral. We were entering Holy Week, which for me working at a church is the busiest week of the year. And Audrey got sick and we were quarantined. We had to assume that it was COVID. So last week I was at home.
00:10:00
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feeling the sadness and the despair of losing Bob, feeling the almost excitement, though, of knowing that he is in heaven and he's no longer pacing the cage, sadness for my aunt and my cousins and all those who loved Bob.
00:10:27
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stress about the upcoming Holy Week and all the services and extra time and energy that we were ready to pour into church for that week, and then fear when my daughter gets ill. And we couldn't leave the house, and I had lots of time to think.
00:10:54
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and lots of time to be in my head, which is where I tend to go. I'm an Enneagram seven. And I just remember asking God, what is it that you'd like me to do? And I remembered one time when I heard God's words clear as day. And he said, write to me, write to me.
00:11:24
Speaker
And over the years I've wondered, did he mean write to him? So I would try journaling to him. Did he mean write to me as myself? So write to Laura. Did he mean write to somebody else in my life? And I've always just kind of had that in the back of my mind. Write to who? But those words came back and
00:11:52
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a new desire was placed on my heart. And that was to write, but to also speak and to speak to those in my life who were hurting. And at the time I thought about my aunt and my cousin. So I went to my computer right here where I am now in my bedroom with my microphone. I sat down and I recorded an audio meditation for them on grief.
00:12:22
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And I held them in my mind as I spoke the words. And then I sent it to them. And I had a feeling of this is part of what I am meant to do.
00:12:41
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to see where people in my life are hurting and struggling and to use this gift that God has given me of words and of my voice and of an ability to sit with people in their deepest pain.
00:13:01
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So I recorded another meditation, this time for a woman that I was working with and my community group ladies. And it was all about being still. And I sent it to them. And I want to offer these two meditations to you guys as well.
Offering Meditation and Support
00:13:21
Speaker
So as I wrap up the podcast,
00:13:26
Speaker
I'm going to upload the Be Still meditation here in this episode at the end. It will be the way that we close this episode. And I'm going to upload the grief meditation to seekingthestill.com. And if you log in, if you sign up to subscribe and log in, you'll be able to access it there.
00:13:52
Speaker
And I'd like to ask you if there's a situation going on in your life where I can speak some words to you through a meditation to calm your mind, to give rest to your body, and to soothe your soul. Would you email me at Laura at SeekingTheStill.com?
00:14:13
Speaker
and tell me what is going on in your life. Because I think that God wants to do something here. I feel Him moving. I feel Him prompting me. And I want to offer that to you guys.
Managing Stress with CBD
00:14:25
Speaker
So before I offer you the Be Still Meditation here, I wanted to just share one other thing about my time going up for Bob's funeral. And it has to do with our season sponsor,
00:14:38
Speaker
Cindy Jenks, an ambassador with Q Sciences. I mentioned in last week's episode that I take the Q core supplements through her company and that they just have immensely helped my brain fog. Well, the other product that I really like and that I use all the time is the Fuse and it is a CBD hemp oil that you place under your tongue.
00:15:04
Speaker
And as I was preparing to share that song at Bob's funeral, I could feel my stress and anxiety rising, but I had brought the fuse with me. I had it in my backpack. And this is how I use it. I don't use it every day, but when I'm in very stressful situations where I just need to have
00:15:26
Speaker
some calm come over me. I'll put a drop. It comes in a dropper and I'll put a drop under my tongue. And within a few moments, it's like from my head to my toes, I just kind of feel a relaxation come over my body. This is a natural supplement and it is completely legal. All of the elements of the hemp that
00:15:52
Speaker
You know, you would think of when you think about marijuana have been extracted from it and it is just the natural goodness that is left. I would invite you to check it out. It has been such a helpful supplement for me. I use the berry flavor.
00:16:11
Speaker
So if you go to myqwellness.com, you'll see all of the products listed there. And the Fuse Berry is the one that I use for just as needed times of stress, like at Bob's funeral. If you have questions about the hemp and the CBD, Cindy would love to answer those. I had lots of questions about it. Will it show up on a drug test? How will it make me feel? All of those kinds of things. Just email her at Cindy.
00:16:40
Speaker
at myqwellness.com. She is a former nurse and she has a degree in psychology. She's very knowledgeable and I think you would really love this product in particular, the Fuse Berry. There's lots of flavors, but I like the berry. So check that out and thanks again to Cindy for sponsoring this season of Seeking the Still.
Guided Calming Meditation
00:17:05
Speaker
So I'm going to leave you today with the Be Still Meditation. I hope you enjoy it. And if you'd like more meditations like this, go ahead and subscribe.
00:17:17
Speaker
at seekingthestill.com and that is where I will continue to upload meditations. It's free and it'll become a little library, I hope, of resources for you, of audio that can calm you in all different situations. And let me know if there's something in particular that I can create for you. Here's the meditation.
00:17:46
Speaker
Find yourself in a quiet space. Make your body comfortable. This is time for you to take a moment away from your busy day. To create space to breathe and to be with Jesus.
00:18:21
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Close your eyes. Open your hands. Take a deep breath in.
00:18:49
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Continue to breathe in and out. Exhale as long as you can. The breath of God is in you. We're going to connect to His power.
00:19:20
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and his love. Let this time be just as it is. No pressure. No worry.
00:19:51
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created you as you breathe in and out imagine that you're breathing through your heart in through your heart and out through your heart
00:20:25
Speaker
That heart space is where we want to be right now. So when a thought comes to your mind, just gently set it aside.
00:20:49
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Or think of it as a cloud floating by the sky in your mind. And return your attention to your heart. Everything you need is here with you right now.
00:21:22
Speaker
Your heart is beating. Your lungs are breathing. And the divine creator of your soul is with you.
00:21:54
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And he says, Be still. Be still and know. Be still and know that he is God.
00:22:22
Speaker
Notice how your hands feel as they're open and soft. No longer clenching the stress and the worry of your day. Let that stress go into the hands of Jesus.
00:22:51
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Jesus, the one who saved you, the one who fights your battles, the one who is always with you. Let Jesus be your light
00:23:23
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Let Jesus be your source of hope. You don't have to figure anything out. You don't have to make any plans. Jesus just wants you to be here with him.
00:24:00
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Imagine his arms around you. Imagine feeling his heartbeat as he holds you.
00:24:29
Speaker
Feel the safety and the protection and the love. These feelings are always available to you.
00:24:58
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You can trust Him. You can trust Him to take away your fear. To take away your control.
00:25:26
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Because he only wants the best. He only wants goodness for you. Knowing him is so much more than
00:25:55
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knowledge is a matter of the heart go back to breathing through your heart
00:26:31
Speaker
Your heart can feel the love Your heart knows the truth Anytime you want
00:26:55
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You can tune in to your heart space where the Spirit of God lives.
00:27:25
Speaker
You are loved. You are okay. You are safe. And no matter what comes,
00:27:52
Speaker
God will make a way. You can stay here as long as you need in quiet, in stillness. Your body needs this time to slow down,
00:28:20
Speaker
to remember how to relax. Your mind needs this time to be still. And your heart needs this time to remember that you are loved. Be still.