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ADHDville Christmas Special - A Very ADHD Christmas
40 Plays3 months ago
Paul and Martin (co-mayors of ADHDville) get into the minefield that is a Neurodivergent christmas. Deck the halls with hilarious stories of christmases long, long ago as well as some sage (and onion) advice on how to survive the holidays!
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Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
ADHD/Focus music from Martin (AKA Thinking Fish)
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
ADHD & Christmas Joy
00:00:00
Speaker
go back in the room um exactly and uh christmas christmas is a wonderful time of year well you know what you know what let's just let's just back up a bit yeah so christmas is the most wonderful time of year and if it could be if adhd wasn't constantly throwing festive kerbils into the into the uh holiday mix but But, and it's a big but. Yeah, we we are not starting off as always in the Town Hall. No. We are in the ADHDville Town Square. Yes. Where we're about to turn on the Christmas lights. We're mixing it with the thongs in the Town Square. Exactly.
00:00:49
Speaker
All right. So, um, there's a smell of, there's a smell of, you know, what's it called? The, um, you know, hot wine, mold wine. The smell of holes, mold, mold, roasted chenut chestnuts. Yep. It's the evening. There's lights. It's lovely. Everyone's out here and we're all gathered around the tree waiting for the, uh, because it's our, our joint pleasure.
00:01:13
Speaker
Yes. To turn on the Christmas lights. Now, Paul, do you want to press the button? I think I did. I press it last year. I think it's your turn. Is it? All right. All right. OK, right. Well, everyone at ADHD will. This is our Christmas lights. Press the button. There we go.
00:01:40
Speaker
hip Great. Thank you, everyone everyone. Right, let's just jump back into the car. Yes. And while we make our way back to the town hall, welcome to ADHDville.
00:02:13
Speaker
i come on it has to be look to I always think if anyone does a Christmas special and they don't do the do the word do the the their Christmas theme song with team their theme tune without sleigh bells I'm yeah Disappointed. Yeah. Yeah. and'm right it's such evil there Even if it it only has to be, it's like if someone does a Christmas song, like, in well, at least in the UK, it always had bells in it somehow, you know, and somehow that sometimes you could write or you could sing about anything you want. But as long as you had the little sound, the bells, even like yeah really subtle, it made it a Christmas song. Exactly.
Meet the Hosts: Paul & Martin
00:03:05
Speaker
Oh right, so this is the bit where you introduce yourself, and I'll introduce myself. I'm Paul Thompson, Marty, that I was diagnosed with the combined ADH and the D a bunch of months ago. And I'm Martin Weston, I was diagnosed with the combined ADHD poo poo platter 11 Christmases ago.
00:03:27
Speaker
that psyche. i know So we're just two mates who bike who is this or not after 39 years. A friendship discovered that we're co-ADHD-ers. Yes, yes, yes. So, hurrah! No, it's really important to say that this is an entertainment podcast, Martin, about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals. So don't take any advice from us, especially me. We're just here as a kind of all-inclusive ADHD part bench with room for everyone, including your double glag glaggers, your eagle to iglo's, your your buddy doublers, your chapellones, and your best bloodies. Still here, they grab your sleighs, your toboggans, your flying stoneman, just crap onto their tailcoats, and any other transportation methods that come to mind.
Welcome to ADHDville: Agenda & Quiz
00:04:18
Speaker
And let us take you to ADHDville, and in matchably town, we've created Eegah Mine. Eegah Mine.
00:04:24
Speaker
where we like to explore different parts of the A. The D, the H and the D again. h And we start off, ah well we started off in the Town Square but we're now back in the Town Hall and the meeting agenda is, we're going to be talking about ADHD Christmas, the chaos, the joy and everything in between then and then we've got a quiz.
00:04:47
Speaker
we we have christmas Is it a Christmas themed Martin, the quiz?
Eggnog Debate & Christmas Preparations
00:04:52
Speaker
It is a Christmas themed quiz because come on. all Right, well, Mayor Thompson, li'z sir let's ah settle down in the Mayor's office by the fire.
00:05:03
Speaker
And settled carry on maybe egg nog? Is that um how I egg nog works for you? Well, took me through the egg nog. Is there an actual egg or is it just a, or is it a, you know? There is also real nog in there as well.
00:05:24
Speaker
ah What's the nog? I don't know. um So basically, I think it's like egg. I think there's some cream in there. And then you have to like drip feed in like whiskey and but and brandy and stuff. OK.
00:05:41
Speaker
Very slowly. i i didn't It sounds a bit like an alcoholic thing they do. It's an alcoholic thing they do in Italy and this is called mascarpone and it's not very aching. Mascarpone.
00:05:56
Speaker
all right but usually it's like made when it's made properly properly you make it at home and it's like with made with loads of egg uh egg yolks i do like mascarpone i must say oh yeah all right well let's get on cracking um cracking into into christmas when you have 8080 because i don't know about you Paul but it's a mixed bag for me. It's a mixed bag. It's a mixed bag or a double-edged sword I've written here. Yeah. There's some ups and downs. There's some ins and outs. There's some shakies all about. Twoing of throwing. Right. So I've got a bit of a list here of things that kind of happen at Christmas. I thought we would just kind of go down it and see if it kind of like
00:06:40
Speaker
springs up any memories or ah or or thoughts. yeah So um I think the first one, which is in the preparation and planning section is the, what's coming I mean, there you go, prep and planning straight away. That is probably, for me, is like one of the big ones, one of the big problems. I hate it. I've got an anecdote or two. I'll go on then.
00:07:07
Speaker
I always left it to the last minute, obviously, and I ended up spending like going around the shops like an idiot. I remember going around in London years ago, like an idiot, end up spending a fortune. Yeah. Just like, Oh,
00:07:24
Speaker
I know. Is it the right gesture? It's nice. Am I buying it for myself? Am I buying it for my girlfriend? Am I buying it for whoever? Or is it the right gesture just because it's expensive? Oh, I don't know. Leave the shop. Go look around. Go back again. Right. And in the end buying that thing, whether it's freaking appropriate or not, just because it's midnight by now and you've got to buy something.
00:07:52
Speaker
you you have to buy something and you you are suddenly willing to like empty your credit card and yeah such ah such I know because I used to go for a number of years I used to go Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve right because Wait, one, it was an ADHD last minute thing that I would kind of go, right, I've got like I've got an afternoon to get everyone's thing, right.
Christmas Traditions & Shopping Chaos
00:08:22
Speaker
So i'll but I'll be hyper focused and like but zoom and also everything, not everything, but there's quite a lot of things with a half price at that point, because
00:08:32
Speaker
because everyone had done their Christmas shopping. So I'll try and get stuff for a little bit less. But that is such a frantic and an anxiety way to buy Christmas presents. Did you have even a list, though? No, it was literally run into a shop that looked like, oh, I could get my mum's present in here and then run around. But it's chemist. Right. And and that's when you... A mum tea pack.
00:08:59
Speaker
Yeah, I know. I mean, I can't go on daily boots. Yeah, no, you've just reminded me, by my mum back in the 70s, she was so angry because her,
00:09:15
Speaker
ah what but my aunt, so so would be her aunt, I guess, actually, um gave her a tea towel for Christmas.
00:09:27
Speaker
Right. It was just a tea towel. And when she told other family members, they two others got a tea towel. Right. And she worked out that it was a it it was a it was a buy one, get two free.
00:09:46
Speaker
tea towel deal that my aunt had somehow got and then she split the the three tea towels and gave everyone a tea towel. Nice. Yeah. mine She was so annoying. Talking about, I don't know where boots came out of, out of out of the, out into the the chemist. If you're American or non-English boots, they're like a chain chains, CVS, or Walgreens.
00:10:21
Speaker
Right. ah They were like a a chain, what do you call a franchise? Like chain, chemist, pharmacy, right? My parents bought me a from Boots. I kid you not. I wrapped it. I wrapped it. It's like, oh, it's it's a turntable and it's from Boots. Okay. All right.
00:10:50
Speaker
said my sister's like oh she's got a similar looking size box and surely it's not another boots turntable it only was is another boots turntable for my sister too right nice yeah saved some arguments and you know what i was done was just just gonna say at least you've got the same goddamn thing yeah that's funny um Oh yeah, ah what about ah yeah so yeah if you kept so shopping early, I yeah i ah try and shop early. I also try and shop online.
00:11:27
Speaker
ah as as as early as I can. And have ah what where where are we now? We're recording this on December 11th. Have I bought anything? I bought one, I bought two things out of a list of about eight things after get. So I've so i started. I've started. started what is it it's yeah You've got a couple of weeks here because we recorded this earlier folks. I know it's, I know.
00:11:52
Speaker
Mm hmm. All right. Let's get on to... We should. I think it would have been easier for ADHD as tune the Tudor period, Martin. Why? Because I just happened to be listening to a podcast this morning and the Kings and Queens in the Tudor period, like your King Henry's and Boleyn's, they gave every everyone their Christmas list.
00:12:18
Speaker
of what they were expected to what they expected to receive from day various people depending on their pecking order. Right. They didn't leave it a chance. No, no, no. Oh, no. Things like and they were really specific. They found these this like these these these lists that she gave out. One of them particular one fashionable item at the time was bejeweled toothpicks. Wow.
00:12:46
Speaker
So, just saying, Martin, if you're still thinking about what to buy me for Christmas, a bit short toothpick would go down fine and dandy. Let me just write that down. Write that down. All right. How do you feel about decorating the house and the tree and all of that?
00:13:07
Speaker
made at home made at home made at home yeah ornaments made at home ornaments wow yeah i work with my kids at the moment at school with conversation in english and they're they're all we're talking about upcycling and because of the time of the year they were like coming in it brought them in of some of the stuff that they've made with their parents for Christmas decorations. And they're so amazing. They're so cool. You know, things made out of toilet rolls and all kinds of stuff, but really precious to them.
00:13:43
Speaker
oh wow they're really really precious things you know and i said to to them at the end of it you know thanks everyone it was really good we all clapped everything i said keep hold of these things keep hold of them it may feel like seem like a silly little things but you'll remember these things these things that you made with your parents and stuff Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we get our tree. So we have on the weekend after Thanksgiving. So there's Thanksgiving on a Thursday. And then between Friday, Saturday and Sunday, we will get the tree. So that's like right at the beginning of the December.
Gift Giving & Family Expectations
00:14:24
Speaker
Was it last year you bought your slightly oversized tree? It might have been a bit too big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:33
Speaker
I think ah we can weak can we can just about take an an eight foot tree and then if it gets to nine foot then it starts to poke into the ceiling. you know the old yeah the old The old angel ah the at the top gets a crypt neck from being shoved up against the ceiling.
00:14:54
Speaker
yeah yeah i mean like yeah ah that that is ah and I actually like decorating the tree because because we do it because to to to your point, we do have ornaments that we've been given or collected over the years and you kind of put them up again. you oh Look, there's that one from yeah from five years ago or whatever.
00:15:17
Speaker
I was always known for, I was always known to be a Grinch. and um But at the same time, I was always the the first, ah I was the person that was asked in all the family. I was the one that they asked to decorate the tree because I was the best at decorating the tree. Paul's artistic, he could do the tree. He'll do He'll do it right, couldn't proper. Call him a boy.
00:15:43
Speaker
Yeah. yeah he hes he Maybe it's because I was the lightest, I was the only one could climb to the top and put the angel on the top. But Paul on top of the Christmas tree this year. That would be great. I was thinking about this this morning. I think pretty much around Christmas was the only time, really, the only time that all the family got together, actually made stuff or did stuff together. The only time right That was the only time. hello and It was weird, like my parents, they made like the um nativity scene and made out of plasticine. And it's so unlike them. It's completely unlike them at all. never no never There was never any other example like that ever, unless it was a Christmas.
00:16:36
Speaker
there is There is something about the people you see day in, day out. You have this routine, this all these routines v and then Christmas Day is different. It's like a whole different schedule rib routine. Everyone's doing something that is like very different from the normal rule book it's thrown out yeah yeah and then it's yeah it's chaos here's here's one writing and sending christmas cards oh boy i think i must fail at this almost every year almost every year fail i write my not only do i fail it my father writes to me and reminds me that i failed at it pow
00:17:24
Speaker
Oh my God, that's amazing. Yeah. I'm not kidding. So did you send cards like its again to people that I've ever met? I am yeah disappointed in you yes once again. This is the 20th year on the trot.
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah. Well, a disappointment, you know, um i've done got I've got like twenty four tattoos. So disappointment for him is like, you know, it's like, the you know, runaway train. But he's still. just say So Paul, did you send a card to Bob and and and Betty this year? No, I haven't seen him in 30 years. You get that?
00:18:09
Speaker
What about to Eddie and Miriam? No, Dad. Are they still alive? yes still i Yeah, And God, shaming. They're shaming. Right. Right. Because it reflects badly on him as a dad, right? That that he hasn't yeah that he hasn't he hasn't raised his son proper. Yeah.
00:18:34
Speaker
Well, say things, he'll make it voice it up. The state said, come on, Paul, you you know that they've got a soft spot for you. Oh, really? Am I in their will? No, no, but given up on it now. I think it's just given up on it, but I'm not, I think it comes down to the the ADHD thing. The, um, what's it called? I've never but bought into the car thing. I've never bought into it, uh, literally and metaphorically.
00:19:09
Speaker
Because I just, apart from the, what's it called, you know, if they're not there in front of me, you know, if I, I'd rather call them and say, hello, object permanence, and time god you card? You go into a card shop, you spend a frigging fortune with the something you didn't even write, you know. Well, I've gone above and beyond.
00:19:31
Speaker
Have you? so I've gone above and beyond for one person, so out our next door neighbour, I've actually hand drawn their card. It's it's of their house. I've done an an illustration of their house ah that's in a snow scene.
00:19:50
Speaker
right Oh, handmade cards. That's a whole different thing. yeah Yeah. But the last time I said cards, I made them with my son. We made them all together and we sent them all off. That was the last time. I think that was about 10 years ago.
00:20:06
Speaker
Wow. That's nice. done Yeah. and So um what about wrapping peasants? ah How do you feel about that? Because it's either like, I feel like it's one of those things that you have to like almost like hyper focus on all in one go. yeah I tend to get um good all the gifts. Right. And you just say, I'm good at it. Well, you are good at it. All right.
00:20:36
Speaker
Yeah, I'm good at that. Do you wrap as you go? Do you wrap as you go or do you just do it all in one? Do you get all the gifts? and ya ah one won go they like ah Like Christmas Eve.
00:20:54
Speaker
yeah Oh, yes. No, I have definitely wrapped up presents on Christmas Day. I think I have as well. It's Christmas Day and I'm upstairs wrapping stuff and then bringing it downstairs. Or I'm sitting around the tree. People started giving their presents out. I'm thinking, oh, not only did I forget to put the thing under the tree, I haven't even wrapped it yet.
00:21:18
Speaker
Yeah. that's Oh, really? Oh, wow. That's special. You were about to say about your grandma. Oh, she was a really bad rapper. I don't mean like Snoop Dogg. Dr. Dre. Here I am rapping my gifts. Try to think of a quick name to give it. good
00:21:44
Speaker
Colostomy. Oh, blimey. Yeah. DJ wrinkly. um
00:21:52
Speaker
Yeah. All right. Well, there we go. right All right. Let's, let's, let's talk about the other big thing of Christmas, which is family and, and other animals. um yeah Having, having all those people yeah around that you have to like you have to in who you haven't seen for a while probably and you're like and you have to like do all the talking and the catching up stuff and this is where this is where I'm interested to know your take on this this is where this is where unmasking really comes like
00:22:35
Speaker
It's like right there is like, i I wonder if you have every right in these kind of six situations to absolutely mask the hell out of the whole day or the whole time, you know.
00:22:50
Speaker
Yeah. There is you a lot of masking going on. Yeah. And you probably got fathers, mothers, siblings that are, you know, maybe in denial, think, well, he's got ADHD, but I haven't, and I won't entertain any conversation about it. Or they're just not ready to, you know, you just instantly think they're just not ready to take that on. Or, or, you know, or you just don't want to have that conversation.
00:23:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah. No, I don't. I mean, I ah keep all Christmas conversations light and fluffy and.
Christmas Meals & Music: Joy or Overwhelm?
00:23:25
Speaker
And yeah, yeah. And like, keep it up to the. ju Because there's booze involved, right? I mean, there's booze involved. It's like, you know, weird. um You have a weird tram and then, you know, start, start, you know, conversations go a bit. And, you know. And like, I find that the old, like, I can remember When my granddad was alive, I can remember one Christmas, I must have been about 12 or 13 or something and I'm there and I'm unwrapping my gifts.
00:24:08
Speaker
And you know that thing of like when you unwrap your gifts, I don't know about you, but it's usually it's the it's the first thing that we do in the morning. And when i even even and we're not even addressed, right? We're literally in our pyjamas.
00:24:25
Speaker
and um and I'm unwrapping my my gifts and I look up and my granddad's there and he' in his in his and he's in his PJs and he's got his legs open and yeah and he's got his Christmas plums hanging out of his... This is weird. I had the same situation. It's like, oh God. I had the same.
00:24:52
Speaker
with you i had exactly the same wasn't even my granddad is someone else's granddad he was crouching down with his tackle hanging out oh on christmas day day well how weird is that on christmas day in the morning yeah took the kind of you know it took the shine off the you know ah present opening ah I know. I know. It's like, oh God, that just turned my stomach. That can't be just a coincidence. It's like, you know, comments please from anyone else in the in our community. She's like, yeah, see you happen here.
00:25:38
Speaker
Yeah, you see, that's what happens. You see, you have old people who are used to living on their own, then who then forget somehow. And then they're kind of like, you know. Did you have strange, do do you have did you have any relatives that had strange um Christmas habits?
00:26:01
Speaker
I don't, none particularly come to mind. i didn't My Auntie Anne, she died last year, bless her, she was a lovely lady, she was brilliant. um She always assisted, her Christmas morning breakfast was ah champagne and ah smoked salmon.
00:26:25
Speaker
And I've never had anyone else do that. But lovely. A Christmas morning. Swearing like a true puss. She was always a swear-er, which always delighted me. Oh yeah, I bet. I bet. um Now then, all the the... The other big one is like it like the cooking and the food part. You know what what? Quite a lot on this.
00:26:54
Speaker
Which if you if you're just sitting in there consuming, then it's great. But if you're like me, I I can eat, I can it's almost I can almost spend half my Christmas day in the kitchen. Yeah, cooking, prepping, washing up like it seems to be like. And and all the planning of all the food and the and it's so easy to go nuts, right, because it's like even if you have carrots they have to be like the best carrots or the best peas or the the best whatever it is has to be the best version of that thing and it all takes time and you end up like with with all these cooking all this stuff and it kills you
00:27:42
Speaker
But that's the thing I always found is like, um there's always, for me, there was like, always the amazing parts of Christmas, like Christmas pudding, which I'm making to tonight actually, I'm making my Christmas pudding tonight, two weeks in advance.
00:27:59
Speaker
so it's time to, you know, to settle and everything, right? So really nice things like Christmas pudding and custard and stuff. The satsuma, oh, the best thing ever. But then there ah there's people who think that their mums cook the best roast dinners in the world. And then you go around there, or it's like I had a neighbor um but they were like good really good neighbors and you know friends and everything. he would he and i'm The always used to say, I pull my mum's Yorkshire puddings, the best thing in the world. And he'd go around there for lunch, you know kind of all kind of like jeed up and everything. And it was the worst thing in the world.
00:28:42
Speaker
Oh my, it was ined inedible. Everyone, I think everyone's convinced that their mums or their grandmother's food is the best. And it's just, I think it's just like um nostalgia, you know? Sometimes, not always, of course. Sometimes it's like, oh God, this is the worst. Like vegetables cooked within an inch of their lives, you know? Oh no, no, no.
00:29:08
Speaker
And that's a thing for like, you know, like if you've got if you're called picky eaters, but, you know, if you've got like, you know, kids who've got safe foods and and and stuff, or if you're if you're if you're used to food in a certain way and then you have to go around someone else's house on Christmas Day and they've got none of that stuff because you can't have pasta. No, no, no. You have to have no turkey and stuffing. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's something you're forced to eat.
00:29:38
Speaker
or yeah. And it's like, oh, it's a tradition in our family and you feel like you're obliged cranberry sauce, you know, which I do like. But yeah, you know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, you know, if the kids want to eat pasta, then fine. You know what I mean? I've got a thing here, Martin, about this discussion about um about about about hang on um scrolling scrolling scrolling didn it did it didn' ah and um about mis phone misphonia mis misophonia misophonia
00:30:24
Speaker
which is the the kind of um um kind thing that some people are triggered by certain noises, sounds, right? Can be like eating sounds. If like if you're like, because ah Christmas is a quite excessive time, you know, drinking and and eating. Some people are like loud eaters.
00:30:45
Speaker
I chew really loudly, or they eat with their mouths open and stuff. And I was looking into it, actually, because I don't want to take it, you know, it's it's there's a funny side to it, but ah some people I was reading, they're not just triggered by it, they have a seriously aggressive reaction to certain noises, even what for us would be like just irritating.
00:31:13
Speaker
For some people, they can have a violent reaction to it. Yeah, like I kind of get that. people cho I can feel quite angry. I mean, like speaking of sounds like, you know, when you're going out ah anywhere, there's the same Christmas songs playing played over and over and over again. Yeah. Everywhere you go, bells and sleigh bells and and certain songs like the mar Mariah Carey one.
00:31:44
Speaker
Yep. Yep. And over again. I am. i I am. Um, I, I do like the day after Christmas day because I think, ah, all of that's gone. It's all gone. yeah All those Christmas songs suddenly go away. Thankfully.
Sounds & Traditions of Christmas
00:32:01
Speaker
What are they? What would you mean?
00:32:06
Speaker
Well, sometimes there's a carryover, at least in in Italy there there there is, you can you generally get the Christmas songs even up until like a couple of days before New Year. Right, because in fact ah shop incident or something the the Christian Canada, the 12 days of Christmas or whatever, it goes beyond Christmas and goes into the New new Year. so in yeah In theory, on the Christmas calendar for Christians, it's it does extend way out past the actual day itself. so That was the Tudor thing, the 12 times.
00:32:46
Speaker
initially perunting You know, with for us, it's like tricky, you know, spending a few hours with with the parents and stuff in the Tudor period of medieval. It literally was 12 days solid partying. Oh, yeah. Yeah. it days And in fact, there was this weird thing, I think, where people would dress up in like macabre weird costumes and masks. Right. And then you go around strangers' houses yeah and then you had to feed them or entertain them. right So you would basically just go around in this gang we yeah causing chaos.
00:33:31
Speaker
Oh, oh, it's a Scottish thing. That's a Scottish thing. things Yeah. And you you were, you were expected to feed them or or give them a drink. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right. Cause I, the reason I looked up misphonia, Martin is because I've got a particular, um, um, very niche, um, phobia for a certain word associated with Christmas.
00:33:59
Speaker
OK, and it's even it's like at the back of my throat at the moment. And I know I've got to say it because otherwise, you know, it wouldn't be part of this podcast. heel No, no, close. The right word of the right at the right beginning. T begins with a T trimmings, trimmings. Oh, hang on. It's the whole phrase. The whole phrase with all the trimmings.
00:34:26
Speaker
yeah
00:34:30
Speaker
I don't think we may have had this conversation before because the American version of that is with all the fixings. Well, that's plumbing, isn't it? Fixings. I don't know. I think it implies that something is bust or broken and then you have to fix it by putting all the things on it. I think we had this conversation. Yeah, I think we had it.
00:34:55
Speaker
Yeah. The, the, the, the, all the, um, what's it, what's it? I can't remember better actually trimmings, trimmings. God, I hate that word. It really ah this is like, it's a family joke that they, that everyone knows. I hate that word. Yeah. Yeah. So, so they obviously say it a lot. Ah, Paul, can you pass me the trimmings? Yeah.
00:35:23
Speaker
Oh, man. On the food, well, right on the kind of excessive food thing, I thought we'd have a little conversation about, you know, there's like chocolate assortments or there's like packs that we used to get in the 1980s, probably still do. We used to get like a pack. Candy bars. It was standard. Yeah. Candy bars. So we used to get like the Mars, a Mars bar. And what else was in there? There was usually is like There was some standard ones in there. yeah And then you get one. yeah
00:35:58
Speaker
What was it? You get a Mars bar. You get a fudge bar. A Milky Way, perhaps. ah Probably a Milky Way. But yeah, it was like ah it was sometimes, the the ones I remember, it was like shaped like a stocking, like a Christmas stocking. And then you had yeah had in in in blister pack, you had about six. Yeah, exactly. Chocolate bars. But there was always one in there that nobody wanted.
00:36:27
Speaker
All right. Well, at least in mind, the fries, Turkish delight. Oh, I love that one. Come on. You like that? Absolutely. Really? You like fries, Turkish du delight. ah like I like a bit of fries, Turkish delight. Fries, we've been friends for 35 years. How is that possible? Afternoon delight.
00:36:46
Speaker
I know. um Yeah, well, I would happily scoff up anyone's, anyone's. Really? Yeah. Dis discarded turkey. Wow. It's stated always chemical to me. Maybe that was your. It does have a sort of soapy. Yes. There's there's a bit a bit of soapiness to it, which I quite like.
00:37:12
Speaker
you know And ah don't take that to mean that that when I have a shower in the morning I'm there sucking on my on my yeah soap bar. No, I think I will ah will take it very literally, Martin.
Gift Opening & Reactions
00:37:25
Speaker
know it How about Christmas presents, right? Christmas presents...
00:37:31
Speaker
opening them in front of the person that gave you the Christmas present. No one needs to open up that Christmas present. right um always I always like there is always a bit of a sort of a performance to go through when you open it up and the person look at it, you open it up and you go, oh, look, it's a, ah right it's a wooly hat. Oh, thank you, uncle Bob. You know what I mean? It's a pair of socks.
00:38:10
Speaker
And like it, it, it was really like a bit of a test of, of your masking skills. If you were kind of getting like a really dad gift, you know what I mean? It's like, Oh no, I don't want this mug. That's that says, I did have a kid once from my dad. And it, it was, I think it was a couple of years after the turntable from boots, the chemist, right?
00:38:37
Speaker
And you got some speakers. You went, oh, finally. It was some vinyl, I think. And it was ah it was a remote control aeroplane.
00:38:52
Speaker
What? Yeah. And I thought, oh, great. So then I was like, like twiddling my thumbs, you know, I was still like, I think, still contemplating, you know, what it was going to be like to play with my aeroplane. But by that time, my dad had already gone out into the, because we were where we were spending Christmas, they had a big garden.
00:39:11
Speaker
He'd taken it out and he tried to get it to the right. It didn't work. He said it was broken. And he said, oh don't worry, son, I'll get it replaced and get you something else. I'm still waiting, Dad. Still waiting, Dad, for that replacement. Well, kids don't forget. so I don't, I've not forgotten. I was still waiting, eagerly. You mean, I think that he actually, I think he busted it. I think he broke it. Yeah.
00:39:41
Speaker
I think that's what happened. Maybe it was an empty box. I never actually saw the plane. Oh, what? Oh, you mean you had, you basically unwrapped it and then he, he whisked it, whisked it from you and ran out into the back garden. He showed everyone a c clean pair of heels out in the garden, testing it. You probably crashed it. Right. It's probably someone's tree, even to this day.
00:40:09
Speaker
Yep. Yep. It's stuck up a tree. Sorry, son. It didn't work. I'll kill you another one. Didn't work, no. No, because he... What shame. Because he bloody crashed it. That's what happened. He went up in the air and then he crashed it. And then that was it. That was it. Just admit it, dad. I was always... always ah Generally, the presents were really disappointing. I know.
00:40:38
Speaker
One year I got a bike and that was good. Oh, yes. Actually, no, I'm talking not once got Lego that actually moved. You know, the point where Lego really from just with that period of time when Lego wasn't just blocks anymore and it got moving bits. Oh, wow. And that was but that I remember opening that presently. Oh, my God, I could do Lego and it can move. Nice.
00:41:05
Speaker
Have you got any, I've got a a couple of bits of ah advice to wrap things up, but have you got, is there any else that you want to cover off?
Managing ADHD During Christmas
00:41:16
Speaker
Cover off? Oh, I don't remember. becoming anbra of mountain it was christmas meanky I think it. is mr aat well Of course, there will some ah a about how to survive the ADHD Christmas.
00:41:34
Speaker
Which is, you know, let go of it being perfect, right? nothing yeah It can't all be perfect. Like it just puts too much anxiety and pressure on yourself if you're trying to make a perfect Christmas. So ask yourself what's the one thing that will make Christmas special and just kind of concentrate on that.
00:41:54
Speaker
yeah yeah yeah on that on that one one thing. yeah um And then when it comes to like decorating and all of that, kind don't go mad. Pick on some some things. You're not in some, you know, because you're not in, you know, like how you have you have you have this this kind of comp competition with the people in your street.
00:42:16
Speaker
and yeah to kind of like have a really nice Christmas decorations ah out front. I think that's a real American, especially an American thing. More American probably, yeah. Well, I think as we were saying at the beginning, you know if you make your decorations even better, they could become really precious things, really personal. No, professors that sounds really nice.
00:42:44
Speaker
um I've got something here as well, Martin. Have you ever spent Christmas by yourself?
00:42:53
Speaker
I'm just trying to think, no, I don't think I have. i I was in China for a year, but I think I came back for Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. Because I i mean, put everyone's personal. I think for some people, it's, it's ah you know, if there are people out there, we'll be spending Christmas by themselves, unfortunately. I personally spent Christmas two years by myself in Palermo.
00:43:18
Speaker
And I was, personally, I was fine. It really didn't bother me whether Christmas happened or not. It didn't make me feel, oh God, I'm so lonely. No, it didn't, didn't at all. Right.
00:43:30
Speaker
But for some people that's not the case at all. so but i think there's a lot I think there's a lot of the great things you do can do. You can go and volunteer, which I think is a really cool thing. There's a lot of people that volunteer around Christmas, you know, give out maybe yeah me hot meals to homeless people. There's a lot of really cool things you can do.
00:43:51
Speaker
Right, but you have to get in early, I found. You can't just rock up. Oh, God, yeah. ah You can't just kind of rock in and go, hey, do you then need a hand? No, because there is such ah this' there's a fierce competition to kind of get into this, and into this into that.
00:44:12
Speaker
game. is so yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be on your, on your a game to, um, to, uh, do that. So, um, uh, help if you're a Grinch like me, it's like, Oh, Grinch, no, get at the back of the cube, matey. Right.
00:44:31
Speaker
um Me rocking up in a Grinch suit. No. When it comes to food, like as ah as I said, like it's always tempting to make every single part of the food the most brilliant thing that that version of that food could ever be. Whereas actually you should try and keep that food a bit more sort manageable. you know ah Things that involve as little prep as possible.
00:44:58
Speaker
um true Just came to mind actually the thing that I think I like most about liked most about Christmas were the games we used to play. We used to play card games, quite traditional thing in our family. Loved that. Games. Games, games, games. It wasn't the food, it wasn't the presents, you know, it wasn't the booze. It's like oh sitting around a table all together and playing the game. It's brilliant, you know. Yeah.
00:45:26
Speaker
Until it, until it breaks out into an argument. but Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know, finding quiet time amidst all the chaos, right? I mean, that's, that's, sorry, say again. Finding quiet time. All the chaos. And in fact, yeah, just, you know,
00:45:54
Speaker
if you If you do feel like you are going to be overwhelmed, then it than it's better just to tell everyone, look, you know like um yeah yeah I might be a bit overwhelmed, and so I might just go off up into the you know into a so separate room for a bit.
00:46:11
Speaker
i've I've just started doing that and um ah because we've got a Christmas dinner um with ah were not the like first part of the family, just like different parts of the family and we move around and just eat wherever you go.
00:46:29
Speaker
Um, and there's one where I was there last year and the year before, and it's just, uh, it gets too much from me at some point. Um, and now I know after my diagnosis, we had HD is just because of the, the, um, reverberation of all the voices, just the chaos. And at certain point, usually about after about two hours, I have to get out.
00:46:53
Speaker
Right. You know, and this this is an interesting thing. It's like, one of those delicate things about, you know, when do you go out? Do you, do you, should you feel like you should have to give an excuse? Or should you just hope that people, you know, have, you know, have a minimum of empathy and think, okay, maybe it's just not something, you know, that they can, is easy for them or whatever.
00:47:19
Speaker
And I, because it's like, everyone wants you to have a good time, right? yeah Everyone wants you to have a good time. And part of that for me, and I think, you know, for you and other people is spending 10 or 15 minutes away from everyone is having a good time.
Family Time & Holiday Reflection
00:47:38
Speaker
Yeah, that is me having a good time by myself so that I can kind of come back and have a good time with with you guys and then go away again and have a good time yeah yeah over being by myself. it's It's like the whole the rest of the year, but like, in ah you know, like a macro situation, isn't it? It's like the whole whole year condensed into one day. and You know, you shouldn't have to pretend that it's any different or maybe shit. I don't know.
00:48:06
Speaker
Yeah. Most of us do, you know, I pretend, you know, you after about three hours of thinking, God, I want to get out of here and I don't want to piss my parents off. He's like, Oh, you know, and okay umve I've just got one last point, which is.
00:48:22
Speaker
Which is under the, um you know, just be kind to yourself. Which is, ah you know, if it if it doesn't go as planned, just remind yourself that it's about connection and not perfection. it just about is ah It's just about those moments, like you're saying, like playing games, you know, with the rest of your family. It's just about, you know, trying to get yourself in a good place.
00:48:47
Speaker
if you do have to spend a little bit of time away so that you can come back and enjoy being with your kids or your dad or your aunt or whatever. You know, just kind of spend that time because actually when I when i when i think about it, ah I can remember a couple of years ago, ah my son was like, oh, Christmas is really, but is is really dull, right? And And I said, yeah, I can I can see why. I think he was just sort of the of the age, you know, like you mean getting that teens where like Christmas is boring. um And I said, one day you'll look back at that Christmas and wish that you could have that day again.
00:49:30
Speaker
Like, you know, you would give anything to have the Christmas that you just had and you thought was boring to have that. Yeah. time um Yeah. and ah not and i and And I think back to kind of like Christmas is when I was a kid when when I had, you know, some of my aunts and my uncles were alive and, you know, and I would, you know,
00:49:49
Speaker
And I'd love to kind of go back to an old Christmas and kind of chat to ah to to my granddad. For me, Christmas was ah sometimes about seeing friends of parts of the family that you only ever saw at Christmas's funerals, bar mitzvahs, or baptisms.
00:50:11
Speaker
you know. And um so there was like the example I gave to you before was like my Auntie Anne, she was just a joy to me. You know, it was in there would just a ball of just a huge amount of fun. And a lot of laughs, you know. um And as I say, they were special because it' is sometimes the only time I get to get to see them.
Christmas Quiz & Conclusion
00:50:33
Speaker
All right.
00:50:35
Speaker
It's all right. Well, I think we are going to transition to the quiz part, which I promised earlier. I think we can just basically just let's um ahs just jump in in in the car and let's let's go to the coffee place and get get ourselves a festive drink. We'll just bring the car around. There we go. Jump in and let's go.
00:51:20
Speaker
are we uh are we interested in a in a festive festive drink mr t i'm gonna have a glass of your um i can't remember what it is in english vampire lane in it in italian vampire uh the the cinnamon thing with the the the e the off wine thing Oh, Oh, mulled mulled wine mulled wine. love Yes, I will join you in a nice little mulled wine, which I want my cockles, which i I do make not every year, but some some years I do because actually because if you have like mulled wine on, you've got some wine, you've got cinnamon sticks in there and cloves and oranges. The house smells amazing.
00:52:11
Speaker
yeah the whole house just smells like oh yeah well so good oh the clothes you know why did you only get why don't you have why don't we have clothes in the other time of the year why is it i know right weird yeah um right well i am out just for christmas Right, I have a a a Christmas cracker for YouTube to pull. So um so ah if you don't know what a Christmas cracker is, it's a classic English thing where you have this tube and two people pull it.
00:52:45
Speaker
And then it breaks apart with a snap sound and then ah and there's a joke inside and a little toy, a crappy little toy, which is usually like a little sewing kit. is that This is in the posh ones, it'd be like a sewing kit, a small screwdriver. Yeah. um Isn't that, that's just another example of like how Christmas breaks the rules. It's just bizarre thing, the cracker.
00:53:11
Speaker
yeah A very bizarre thing. It was in invented in 1845. um it's a It's funny because most of the things that we think about as being Christmasy was all invented in by by the Victorians ah in ah in a in the space of about 10 years. It's almost like they kind of invented the whole thing in ah in a very short amount of time.
00:53:37
Speaker
They did a lot of that, didn't they? They did a lot of like, um you know, they invented, there's a lot of, you know, um um Scottish kind of iconography and Welshography were actually invented by the Victorians and just didn't exist at all. All right, well, let's pull the Christmas cracker. Yes.
00:53:59
Speaker
makes that sound right and you have a je a a joke inside so let me let me tell you the uh the the joke uh what goes oh oh oh french santa clause there it's santa walking walking a backwards oh my god that's good yes That was a good one. That's nice. I like that. cripr and That was a kind of classic thing that you would would have in a cracker. Right. You have these bad jokes. I know because i I looked up best Christmas cracker jokes and that was in there. I remember when my family got to a point where we we were buying ah Marks and Spence as crackers. They're like, if you don't know if you're outside the UK, Marks and Spence is like that.
00:54:53
Speaker
slightly more expensive place to where you go and buy your food. Yeah. And it's like, oh, you've arrived, you know, box expenses. I know, but it's always a bit crap. really way it's ah It's always crap.
00:55:07
Speaker
um And on the other side of the joke, I have a fun fact, a fun Christmas fact. It says here, what does the term Xmas stand for? You know, like we we have Christmas, but in the UK, especially, will we'll spell it X, M-A-S, Xmas. And I guess it's because it comes from cross. It's a cross that is that is swivelled around, cross-mus. Nice thinking. You are very close. Well, you're you're you're close in that X is derived from the Greek letter Ch-Chi, which is the first letter in the Christ. So it's the Greek letter C-H-I, which is, and C-H-R-I-C-S-D-H. So that's where the S comes from, X comes from. It's a Greek thing.
00:56:08
Speaker
Right. On to the quiz. On to the Christmas quiz, Paul. Yes, yes. All right. We have four questions. So let's see how you do. Let's see how you do. but Here's the first question. yeah badly You have three answers, right? Possible answers. Right. Multiple choice. First one. What Christmas song was the first to be broadcast from space? Was it?
00:56:36
Speaker
Jingle Bells. Yeah. Was it Santa? Was it Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt? Or was it Happy Christmas, War is Over by Lennon and Yoko Ono? I once I've got a funny story about that. My my my mother bought from my grandmother a an Earth, a Don Williams album, right? My grandmother liked Don Williams. And my grandmother said she'd have to take it back. She said, why? She said, it's actually, in reality, it's a, by mistake, you've given me an Earth, a Kit album. So that's a bit strange. So she took it back to this record shop and the guys said, I think your mother's been playing it at the wrong speed.
00:57:31
Speaker
Oh, there we go. It was Don Williams and it was supposed to be played at 33. She was playing at 45. It sounded like Eartha Kitt. There you go. Unbelievable. I'm going to go for Eartha Kitt because out of the three, it's the most ridiculous. Oh, right. Well, it was actually Jingle Bells.
00:57:54
Speaker
It was played by astronauts aboard the Gemini 6 in 1965. But I did include Earth a kit there because I knew that you had an Earth a kit story. So so ah yeah called come on. he didn't that couple I did. Did you? have number but Yeah. Number two. You knew that song? You knew that story? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You have told me that.
00:58:22
Speaker
a long time before like like decades ago. Good memory. I know. ah What popular Christmas gift became a huge craze in 1996? Was it a popular gift? Yeah. You know, like how okay every year there is like there'd there'd be one toy that would yeah blow up and become really popular. Cabbage patch dolls. Right. And and right. So stretch Armstrong.
00:58:53
Speaker
Right, so what what was the huge craze in 96? I actually have A, Stretch Armstrong. No. Was it B, but Beanie Babies? Or was it C, Tickle Me Elmo? So 1996.
00:59:14
Speaker
Stretch Armstrong, Beanie Babies, Tickle Me Elmo. Elmo. And you'd be correct. Oh, there you go. st Stretch Armstrong was ah was big in 1976 and the Beanie Babies were big in 95. That tickle me, I'm always big in 1996.
00:59:35
Speaker
All right, let's go let go history. History back, back, back, back, back. Which English ruler officially banned Christmas in 1647?
00:59:48
Speaker
Was it A, Oliver Cromwell? B, King Henry VIII? Or C, Pope Festivus III? What year was it? 1647. It's too late for Henry VIII.
01:00:08
Speaker
Too late for Cromwell. Cromwell as well. I think it's got to be the Pope. Pope Festivus for the rest of us, the third. It was actually Oliver oliver Cromwell. Oh blimey.
01:00:26
Speaker
I was thinking that Pope Festivus was going to be like an and an obvious red red herring, like Festivus for the rest of us. What? for for Not for me, it wasn't. All right, so you have got done got you've got two wrong, one right. I've got this last one. So if you get this right, you get level um you can level it.
01:00:51
Speaker
Right. I'll get a concentrate. This is me concentrating. What was the first artificial Christmas tree made from? The first artificial Christmas tree. Was it A, pine cones and wire? Is it B, paper mache? Yes. Was it C,
01:01:16
Speaker
ah get but goose feathers dyed green?
01:01:23
Speaker
Is it pine cones and wire? Paper mache? Or ghost feathers? i't see I can see what you're doing now. I'm getting to know you're you're sneaky. You're very sneaky. Because you know that I'm going to be drawn towards the goose. Alright. And I'm going for the goose.
01:01:44
Speaker
And you'd be correct. ah You'd be absolutely correct. So say so you you come out with your head hes held high. So yes, so the early Christmas tree. So this in the early 19th century was invented by a German city councilor named Frederick Wilhelm II. He wanted a Christmas tree that wasn't going to catch fire because, you know, like They used to put candles on Christmas to trees that that on the actual tree itself. So the there was a good chance that the whole thing was was going to go up in in flames. So he decided that he was going to get goose feathers and diamond green and make an artificial one so that it didn't catch fire.
01:02:28
Speaker
Well, of course, other than catching fire, there was there was ah until a certain point, candles were made with animal fat. And I know that because there was like the first proper um Kubrick film that I can't remember the name of. it He um he wanted to like be completely authentic with the lighting. So you had hundreds of candles made with animal fat to light the scene. Right. And After half an hour, everyone ran out because of the stage. It was absolutely unbelievable. Wow. Well, the the the popularity of artificial Christmas trees didn't take off until until the mid 20th century, which is partly due to a shortage of trees during World War Two. Ooh. There we go. OK. Well, there we go. Good one. Good one.
01:03:27
Speaker
Nice. All right. Well, um we are already up on our hour, so so um yeah ah we'll save the feedback for the for the for the next time. and So let's just leave me to say ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all purveyors of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod and rate us most Christmasy. ah Feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful more beautiful faces sally fourth to the youtubes and the tiktokies and you can also pick up a quill and email us at adhdville at gmail dot.com but in the meantime during this christmas period be kind to yourself
01:04:14
Speaker
And I beseech you, by the way, deus, please. Know thy tinsly selves, sons of the baubles. Come hither, and get the pudding. Lovely. There, says the mayor. That's that.