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Episode 66 - ADHD And New Year Resolutions
35 Plays3 months ago
Paul and Martin (co-mayors of ADHDville) chat about New Year Resolutions and why they suck. Let's get into it shall we?
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Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
ADHD/Focus music from Martin (AKA Thinking Fish)
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Surviving Another Year
00:00:00
Speaker
Back in Rome for another year. Oh, happy happy new year to everyone. We've survived. We survived. We survived 24. Can we survive 25? I think that that should be the t-shirt slogan.
00:00:18
Speaker
Yeah. Can we survive 25? Oh God, I hurt every, every muscle in my body's aching.
Resolutions for ADHD
00:00:24
Speaker
Um, anywho, this is the new year kicking off ADHD bill special. And w and we're going to talk about, well, I'm going to be talking about such things as, as me as new year's resolutions. and yeah Um, and that, and that minefield.
00:00:47
Speaker
Yeah. I've got, I've got, I've got a little ditty here about, we're going to talk about positivity and about how reflect when we've, in the past year, it was a ton of reflection. So I'll go into about that.
When to Start Resolutions?
00:01:02
Speaker
All right. So I think this is an episode for everyone with ADHD, who's going to be kicking off their new year in the right frame of mind. I think that's where we're heading. Or the wrong frame of mind. That's okay too.
00:01:17
Speaker
Do it. hot twist but you Plot That's what Start with a bad shit kind of. Do it. ah At least and everyone says like like, it's like with New Year's resolutions, right? um Well, we'll get onto this after the intro.
00:01:36
Speaker
But everyone says, oh, do not, everyone says, do not start them on the 1st of January, start them on the 1st of February. And we'll leave it at that. We'll
Podcast Introduction
00:01:45
Speaker
go into it, I'm sure. All right. OK. Well, a little, a little, little hint. All right. Well, let's get into it. Welcome to ADHD. Yes.
00:02:16
Speaker
at the beginning there, but I meant 20, 25.
00:02:22
Speaker
Well, that's a thing, isn't it? 20, 25? Are you kidding me? We are a quarter of the way through. ah Of the entire century. Yeah. We're already a quarter of the way through.
00:02:36
Speaker
Yeah, it seems like yesterday i was celebrating year 2000. Oh, yeah, but remember that the planes are going to fall from the sky. Yes, we're all going to die. Yeah, but they fixed the problem. And here we are anyway, in fact, there wasn't even a problem. but ah Let's introduce.
00:02:59
Speaker
Yourself. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do that. I'm Paul Thompson. Hello. Hello. I was diagnosed with a combined ADH and the D just over a year ago. I'm Martin Weston. I was diagnosed with a combined ADHD pubic platter in 2013. So we're just two mates. Hello again. Yes. Who, by coincidence or not, in brackets, after 39 years of friendship, almost 40 actually,
00:03:25
Speaker
discovered that we're code ADHD. Who would have known it? No, it's really important to say this is an entertainment podcast about adult ADHD. It does not substitute for individualized advice for qualified health professionals. So
Welcome to ADHDville
00:03:40
Speaker
don't take any advice from us, least of all me,
00:03:43
Speaker
we're just here as a kind of all-inclusive, all-inclusive, right, all-inclusive, underlined and involved, all-inclusive ADHD park bench with room for everyone, including your doppelgangers, your auto egos, your double-double, but but body doubles, booty duplets, your shepherd roads and even your best buddies, still here, congratulations, you've already own yourself a loyalty badge, I'll pin it on you, okay? Right, wherever you want it, wherever you want me to pin it, then grab your jetpacks, Edelos, Space Hoppers, or any other transportation methods, let us take you to A.D.H.D.ville, and in Magicary Town, we created Edo Fines, where we like to explore different parts of the A, the D, the H, and the D again.
Tangent: UK's Shipping Forecast
00:04:32
Speaker
And we staff, as always, here in the Town Hall in the Mayor's Office, where we, the joint mayors of ADHD, take care of business. Yes, we do, yes. That was my more radio, my late-night radio voice. Radio 4. And I was just saying to someone about No, i'm I'm not going down that rabbit hole. I was almost going down one. We're going to stick to the agenda. And now the shipping forecast. The Cromedy West, Dogger Fisher, German Bight, Loathe. Anyway, God, God, come on. This is starting off badly. Bring it back. Meet the agenda. ADHD. What? Yes.
00:05:19
Speaker
Do you know that David Damon or burn off blur? He was recently a guest present presenter of a shipping forecast. Oh, really? You can do that. Yeah. Fantastic. Isn't that brilliant? Yes. So if you don't know, the shipping forecast is a radio for ah thing in the UK where it's for the shipping people where the forecast is very they read out for people on the boats and it just basically goes around the coastline and kind of says what the weather conditions are. But it's become this iconic, almost like a poem, like ah like a beautiful poem. um It goes out about like
Reflecting on New Year's
00:06:05
Speaker
half five, six o'clock in the morning.
00:06:08
Speaker
and just warns about if you're like in the north sea somewhere they'll like read out okay what the likelihood of fog or storms or fine weather whatever it is. Anyway let's get back on track we have a meeting today we're going to talk about ADHD and and New Year's stuff and we also have a New Year's honors list um So here in the we're not here in the in the UK because neither of us are in the UK. I'm in New York in and you're in ah Italy. Yes. um ah But from the land of our birth, the land of our birth in a world where we were born, um we have time far away. A New Year's honours list, which is basically
00:06:57
Speaker
um ah big ups to anyone um in 2024. So we've got a list of people that the that we want to thank for being marvellous this year. Alright, so let's get cracking.
00:07:14
Speaker
I can tell that this is going to be a chaotic episode, all rev ready. um but
New Year's Eve Experiences
00:07:20
Speaker
like But where else are we going to go, Paul? We're going to the park, Martin. You know, we go to the park, the usual bench at the top of the hill. You know, like in the Hampstead Heath, there's a bench at the top of the hill. You could look over London from there. It'd be like that, except it'd be a in in our hometown, ADHDville.
00:07:40
Speaker
All right, well where we go up on the hill, there's trees and grass. From Oscar coffee. and And then we can look over over the town and reflect. Yes. On on our H-80 lives. All right, let's bring bring the car around. Yeah, chug, chug.
00:07:58
Speaker
Climbing. Oh, here we go. Whoop. No. Good Lord. I had the wrong... I started to play the wrong music.
00:08:14
Speaker
It is chaos though. It is chaos with two ADHDs with strong, strong possibility of autism mixed in there. So it's going to be chaos, isn't it? It is going to be chaos. So we're recording this on January the 2nd. So how was your New Year's Eve, Paul? Let's start there. Let's just kind of get a take on on the on the Thompson household.
00:08:39
Speaker
It's a day like any other day, Martin, for me. It's like, um well, New Year's. Well, New Year's. Did you say New Year's Eve
Self-Acceptance Over Improvement
00:08:47
Speaker
or New Year's Day? Eve. We did. we We went to bed kind of like early. We didn't wait up for the 12 o'clock thing. It's not a big thing. We we kind of like like it. Yeah. We bought a nice bottle of a bottle of, you know, um it's not Prosecco, but it's like a a good Prosecco.
00:09:06
Speaker
called Francia Corda. Nice bottle of wine. We played cards. We played a game called ah Scala Cuaranta, which is like scale 40. We play that a lot to relax and we, you know, chew the card and have a laugh. Have a drink. and Yeah, easy. How about you?
00:09:26
Speaker
Sounds chilled. Yeah, we did actually stay up. I mean, we got some. Yeah, we just had some muscle bits and pieces. I mean, we we tend to save save the the actual nice meal on the nice food for New Year's Day it itself. So so we yeah so i did so it kicks off in our house. It kicks off the the the hot pot season.
00:09:54
Speaker
No, no, I'm looking like Asian hot pots. You get a big bowl of miso, chili and then vegetables in there and you just cook this kind of big thing and you and you sit around the pot and you basically just cook things in it in the broth. Nice. That that is that not i hold the whole thing, which is nice, nice for us. um Right.
00:10:20
Speaker
um what I mean, like, I'm going to start off just by kind of going. That doesn't your your your bum, how your bumhole just want to retreat into itself when you hear the the words New Year, New Year, doesn't it just? Oh, yeah. Make you want to kind of get out.
00:10:46
Speaker
Well, isn't it, isn't it like flies in the face of like that ridiculous myth of not having any regrets. It like says like, Oh, she never have any regrets. That's total nonsense. I think it's the most natural thing in the world to have regrets. I've got loads of got oozing, you know, out of every poor regrets of things. Not exactly.
00:11:07
Speaker
But it's like saying, oh, it's like, oh, everything was bad the year before. And let's, you know, let's start up a fresh. stop start afresh Right. know And it's like, oh, really?
00:11:23
Speaker
Yeah, eight it feels like, you know, because if you have ADHD, as you say, you you tend to have regrets because you you you tend to sort of self criticise yourself quite a lot, right? Yeah. And this whole new year, new you almost feels like It's society wanting to fix you, like like there's something wrong with you that needs
Photography and Reflection
00:11:46
Speaker
fixing and you have to fix yourself yeah rather than... I really like that.
00:11:51
Speaker
um and um Angelou, what's her name? The the African-American lady, Angelou. yeah um Maya Angelou.
00:12:03
Speaker
That's it. Maya Gilou. I can't remember who said it to her, but she said someone once said to me, Maya, you are enough. And she said that was a really profound moment in life. You are enough. you know there's low There's no fixing or breaking. you know It's like yeah In reality, of course, isn't it isn't it your your new you, the new you happens every seven to eight years. Your body is completely different. You have a new body. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Your whole body regenerates. Every cell is read ah every seven years, between seven and or eight years, your body is a new body, completely new. I think that is mind blowing. Mind blowing your mind.
00:12:54
Speaker
so it's like right wow that's freaking amazing i think so i feel like i feel like this whole new you new you should be like reframed really to really be a focus on like self acceptance rather than self correction yeah you know what i mean yeah i mean like i would yeah rather spend much more energy on kind of going as as you say you are enough, you know, like actually just accept yourself, except you have ADHD, except you're autistic or both or whatever. and and because And the more you do that, the better.
00:13:34
Speaker
Because we I mean, my last year, you know, going kind of on a reflection thing, because you can't help, even if you accept New Year's Eve or if you're like me, you're like, it's just another day, it is. But, but you can't help but reflect. You think, oh, oh, Paul, how did last last year go? You know, don't go. Well, you know, you can't help but be negative because just this is the way humans are.
00:14:02
Speaker
Um, but I have to say, um, the theme of the last year has been reframing, reframing. So, you know, new year, you new year, new me, it's not, it's just continual reframing, just like it should be for everyone. I think just like, you know, be easier in yourself, you know. Yeah.
00:14:24
Speaker
and and and celebrate the wins from yeah last year as well. Yeah,
Linguistic Optimism
00:14:33
Speaker
because I do a thing on Instagram because um as you know Martyn, I'm a really keen photographer and it's one of the my greatest joys of my life over the last three or four years.
00:14:46
Speaker
I did a summary, a photographic summary on Instagram of all of my, of my year, right? And he put them all together and think, holy crap, what a freaking amazing year I had. ah There you go.
00:15:03
Speaker
You know, you think, wow, it's really rich, like full of like amazing stuff. You think it wasn't so bad. It wasn't as bad as we think. You know, it's not just me. We've got a tendency to see be like, think of things, you know, we've got a tendency to be really hard on ourselves.
00:15:24
Speaker
And that we're underachieving in some way. And also we forget, right? So our our time blindness not only works forwards, but it works in reverse as well. So you forget a lot of what you have done, right? And we tend to.
00:15:41
Speaker
focus on the bad things rather than the good things. So yeah it's good to kind of like go back and kind collect all the good things. I mean, your point to kind of get all the photography and go, holy moly, I did.
00:15:56
Speaker
No, I forgot all this. I've done so much good things. Yeah, yeah. And there was actually ah the lovely Susie Dent. I've got something, I've actually got a reference towards this. Listen, only this week, to there's a book that's either the come out or is coming out. No, it's it's already out.
00:16:13
Speaker
It's a book um by Susie Dent, who if you don't know her in the UK, you do know her for sure. If you don't, she she used to work for um she worked for years for the Oxford English Dictionary. And she now does like an entertaining, she's like an expert um reference figure on ah on a game show.
00:16:33
Speaker
with wordplay and things like that. She's written several books about entomology and stuff like that. recent book A most recent book is called Roots of Happiness. and she What she actually demonstrates is the English dictionary reflects very, very strongly on how negative we are, because generally when words get weeded out because they're not used anymore, they become old. They're truly the negative words. and ah Sorry, the positive words get weeded out. And it's the negative words that carry forward through the dictionary much, much more strongly. So for instance, there used to be words like giggle mug.
00:17:15
Speaker
which is a word, an old word, for someone who never stops, no, someone who never stops smiling. Giggle mug. You're such a giggle mug. A giggle mug. For someone who is always full blessed. Someone who's full blessed. Full blessed. Extremely happy.
00:17:34
Speaker
Oh, come on. Right. So this she's got this like, yeah, exactly. And she's like really passionate about these things. And she, I mean, she used to be the person that edited ah the Oxford dictionary, right? So she, she knows this stuff. She's really qualified and she's written this great book, which I think is a great way to start off a year. I'm not paid to to promote this, by the way. I'm not like her brother or something. She's got a collection of a hundred positive words and their origins and entomology.
00:18:05
Speaker
all right Good way to start the idea, maybe use the word giggle mug. Oh, man. You know what? I am. I am probably going. I'm going to on the promotion of this episode. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to use that word. Giggle mug. Yeah. and It's just it' just she said it's it's human nature. We tend
Setting Manageable Goals
00:18:27
Speaker
to be negative, but it's just about training your brain. It's about how this habit. Right. You know, right. So, yeah. So, you know, focus on the
00:18:38
Speaker
focus on the good things that you did last year. And and also I suspect focus on the on the positive that you want. You don't like how you might go, oh, I'm going to stop doing this. or I don't want to do that. Rather than focusing on the on the goals that you want to achieve. Rather than focusing on the stop doings, maybe just focus on the, I want to start doing and you know i um I'm going to continue doing.
00:19:10
Speaker
Or you could like, just like, I'm going to maybe be accept some stuff. Could be that. Cause I'm not, I've, well, I'm, I'm trying not, if I've got a plan for the next year, it's not planning. Right.
00:19:27
Speaker
I've been really bad at playing. See this thing, I'll get negative. I'll give my heart give myself a hard time about it. But I've always been someone who like wants to make plans. I want to learn a a new language next year or blah, blah, blah. Never do any of the any of those things because it's really pointless. And i've what I've actually learned to do is actually find joy from living in the present. And it's really hard to do, but massively beneficial.
00:19:58
Speaker
So I'm not thinking about the year or anything. I'm thinking about tomorrow. what How can, you know, what can I do? I've got a meeting tomorrow, which is true, actually, presenting ah to someone ah ah an idea for a business have collaboration that I'm preparing. It's like, oh, okay, thinking about tomorrow.
00:20:17
Speaker
or to today, even better. you right ah It's really hard to do, but I promise you, it the the benefits are huge. yeah Not you, Martin, but you out there. because time Because we're kind of quite time blind.
00:20:36
Speaker
you know, like, it's quite common to kind of go to set these big goals, right, these big like, like this year, the entire year, I am going to go to the gym, right, for the whole year, right. And, and it's too big. And our time blindness, you know, we can only see like, you know, couple of days. So Maybe if you are going to make a new year's resolution, keep it really short and small. Like I'm i'm like, I'm going to go to the gym this this week. Right. is this So that is a one go. I'm just going to go and do something this week or today or tomorrow, whatever it is. Keep it quite keep it quite small in them and manageable, not like these epic
00:21:22
Speaker
freaking huge yeah gesture stuff like I'm going to learn a new language. um If you want to learn a new language, great, but but maybe start with the smaller goal of I'm going to find a course or I'm going to find a book or I'm going to just find an online so study thing.
00:21:41
Speaker
and That is it. Right. That's enough. Just just just the start. yeah Not necessarily the the big goal. much speed very so start Yeah. I think it's
Accountability Partners
00:21:54
Speaker
one of the things I've done in the past a lot is I've always wanted to be the kind of person that could get up at six o'clock in the morning, go to the gym. I've always wanted to be that person. And I've always tried really hard ah well and not actually hard at all.
00:22:10
Speaker
Right. To do that. I love the idea of me being that kind of person. I can't do it. I find it's a lie. It's a big fat lie. You tell yourself I can be that person. But if my. I can only really do it if my if if if my wife does it as as well. Right. If she goes, right, do you do you want to go down to swim? at You know, like we have to get up at 6 a.m.
00:22:40
Speaker
And I'll go, yes. And then if we both do it, we can do it because we won't do it on our own. But if we do it together, we we yeah know we do the whole the buddy system where we don't want to let each other down. um yeah um and um and we And we will get up really early and go down to the gym you know for like months, months and months at a time. Really?
Art as Meditation
00:23:04
Speaker
Yeah. So it helps to have someone else You know, and I think that's one of the, I think it's the role of accountability in if you're going to set goals or do New Year's things. If you can, if you can, if you can find someone else to do it with or a group to do it with you're much more likely to
00:23:26
Speaker
make that thing happen when it's just you on your own it's a lot harder right yeah god it's so good yeah okay i've got i've i've got some things ah that i want to do this this year so i've i've started a drawing again which i haven't done for like nice 40 odd years 40 years, Paul.
00:23:49
Speaker
right we matt man and boy You're like an off the charts, talented drawer. I mean, you're a really good drawer. Thank you. ah piece I remember. I remember. I remember this stuff.
00:24:04
Speaker
So where I started again so I picked up a so I got like a it's got some inks and a in a dip pen and I've got some paper i start it head in again love and I love a dip pen. Yeah. Yeah. um So so i no I want to do more of that this year because You know, I love they doing it and I can in theory turn it into a job because, you know, I can do, I can do dogs and people and houses and people yeah love pet, pet, pet, pet portraits. So yeah perhaps I can turn it into a little sideline business. You know what I mean? Even Andy Warhol did a sideline business doing cats and sold loads of things. Yeah, did cats. Then it turned out was his mum did them.
00:24:54
Speaker
oh really yeah it's amazing what a great story and Warhol's cats were not actually his cats his mum did them wow yeah there you go but um but yeah art i find it to me that art is my meditation I don't do meditation, can't do it. I like to be the kind of person, it's like the gym, getting up at six o'clock in the morning to go to the gym. I like to be that person, but I'm not. um um My mind is too active.
00:25:26
Speaker
um and my and Well, actually, i've a really I have luck ah of ah back problems, so it's quite difficult, like lotus position, all that kind of stuff, forget it. yeah Forget it. Art, you know, photography, drawing, painting, sculpting, that's my meditation. I go to like, I zone out yeah and zone in. And this will make you jealous. I've got four life drawing classes booked.
00:26:05
Speaker
I have a model, a new model. usually ah then We say you stand there with with the easel right yes yes yeah and charcoals or whatever. yeah And it's like a two hour session. weve We probably, um we our first, you and I, our first art college lesson we had, I think it was the first day we had Um, life drawing classes. Yeah. The lovely George. Do you remember George? I mean, how can you a say model, the same model for two years?
00:26:44
Speaker
right so this was our it was actually the second day i think the first day we we went to art college it was literally just all orientation we went there we met each other we got did we ah we we had to have the have the hat on our head and we got sorted into houses yes um and she said to everyone we're going to make you see with new eyes she said did she say that And you were like, oh crap, holy crap. And they said, like everything you've learned so far about art, forget it, they said. Yes. You know what? I was so a um arrogant, I think is the word. I can remember when, ah um I think it was on that first day, we were shown around
00:27:36
Speaker
The the whole college area right and there was one of the people from the year above or something or one of the higher up years had to take us groups around to show us the show us the rooms where we were and this kid was a kid then said ah so you're the uh new group of of very talented artists are you yes and i thought yes yes i am And I didn't realise that he was just taking the piss out of us, basically. i okay i doubt And arrogant thoughts that we had about about being good at art. I wish I was arrogant.
00:28:26
Speaker
right well i wish i was a little bit more open than i was all right i was definitely well because because me and steve who who is our other you know other joint joint friend so me and steve were at school um and and we were the two good people who could do art at school. yes right So the entire school was like, those two are the fucking bees knees. And when we were like, yeah, we are like art gods. yeah So when we went to art college on that first day, it was like, oh, so so you're the art gods, are you? And I'll go, yes, I am the art gods. And then we got that slapped out of us from then on. We were like, oh, God, we know nothing.
00:29:11
Speaker
It's like you were the most talented striker playing for Accrington Stanley. Exactly. And then you got, you got, you moved to Manchester United and you just a play up all of a sudden, you're like the bottom of the ladder.
00:29:25
Speaker
Yeah, so day two of art college, Paul and I, you and me and Steve or whatever, we we're in a big hall called the Spartans, a big kind of hut, big hall. And the other Steve as well, whit Whitmore. Hello, Steve. um and And we have our easels up and have a big piece of paper on the evil. We have our little arts art supplies box that we'd got out and bought and we got together.
00:29:49
Speaker
Got the art supplies. It's all there. New pencils, yes hey new new art materials. yes What are we going to do? What are we going to do? I don't know, Paul. What are we going to do? on' I don't know, Paul. And then the look down the hall and out of the back room, a remember but very young, naked woman Yes. Walks out. Very tall and slim. Athletic build. Gorgeous woman. Chilled out. So chilled. And we're just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm literally what the hell is going on? It was like a she i mean put it into context. She was like, I think two or three years older than us. Right.
00:30:32
Speaker
And she walked out naked in front of 30 teenagers, yeah yeah half of which male, half female. And she was like walking out as if just like, you know, ah so okay, so who was a cup of tea? And then she'd do a pose and then we start to draw her. and yeah and then ah And then when she had a break, she would walk around the easels.
00:31:02
Speaker
and she would talk talk to us and have a look at our work and it was yeah so disconcerting back in that foot that those first few weeks were like so weird. I'll tell you your a funny story.
00:31:18
Speaker
or more more more of an interesting or funny or a combination, let's say. After that time, so after, you know, our college and and everything, some years have passed. And then I was working in um Hoxton Shoreditch area of London, Central London,
00:31:37
Speaker
And we ah there was a course near us that was run by the Prince Charles or something fund. okay And like gave they met they gave um um at our disposal a nude model. And in the evenings, I think it was Thursday nights, anyone could turn up completely free of charge and do life drawing. So by that time, some years had passed, I was a little bit more confident, Martin.
00:32:05
Speaker
i A little bit confident. ah i'd I'd started to, how how could I say, what's the right verb? To, to you know, come out of my shell, you know, just like forget that. You were feeling a bit cocky now. A bit cocky, a bit cocksure.
00:32:21
Speaker
All right, I can handle this. was it And I drew so much better that I got rid of my baggage, my mental baggage, and I just drew what was in front of me and it was good.
00:32:36
Speaker
And it was like a real distinction between, okay, the poll of six, or seven years ago, the poll now, like fewer expectations, less giving a shit about what people think, thought of me and what I was doing and just drawing. And it was good. I was like, I was like, oh, wow, this is good.
00:32:56
Speaker
Right. and That was amazing. So next week, so in exactly a week's time is when I'll have my my that's quite life drawing for the first time and I'm cacking myself. I'm so worried.
00:33:12
Speaker
I'm so scared. I deploy you not to not to leave your artworks in a drawer for the caretaker to throw them away. between You had a load of stuff thrown away, didn't you, by the caretaker at art college? Yeah, I did have a load of...
00:33:31
Speaker
Yeah. So, um, yeah. Any who, um, so that is going to be my, oh my focus is that i have the though creativity. It's really hard to find that those unless you're in, in Italy, unless you're in, in like Milan or Rome or Florence, those kinds of places.
00:33:48
Speaker
really hard to find life drug classes. Strained in Italy, in Italy. yeah It should be like, you know, every street corner. It's like, it's like, you know, between the pub and the pharmacy, there should be life drug classes.
00:34:02
Speaker
Right. How big is the town that that you're in? It's like tiny medieval thing. Yeah. Because
Health and Wellness Resolutions
00:34:11
Speaker
obviously my mind goes, well, if you're looking for a class and it's not there, maybe a star one.
00:34:20
Speaker
Yes, nice yeah you you could but you end up losing money. People are enthusiastic and everyone turns up. But there is in Brescia, which is near me. In fact, I was there yesterday. I'm sure they have life classes somewhere in Brescia, which is by the Italian ranks.
00:34:35
Speaker
just yeah kind of It's quite near to Milan, but Milan's a bit of a bulldog to get to. So on the on the thing of like um you are focusing on the wins of the year, um I had a letter from the IRS, the Internal oh Revenue Service, the tax people. Oh, God. Well, talk us through, when it when it arrived, talk us through when you got that envelope. but Is it an envelope? Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And has IRS stamped on the outside? Right. like And I hate those. like you know If you get a letter from the tax people,
00:35:12
Speaker
Yeah. it's it It always sets me off. I get that. I get an envelope and it's from that and the Agency de l'Entrata. Right. Yeah. Here it is. Here it is. It says amount to, so how much taxes I owe, 0.00.
00:35:40
Speaker
That is brilliant.
00:35:44
Speaker
Zero! Thank the Lord and the saint behind you. Lordy, Lordy. Fantastic. So that's a good thing. I am. i am That's brilliant. Congratulations. Well chuffed at that. That's brilliant. Um, good job. So I was trying to think of what last year, what New Year's resolutions I said and, um
00:36:15
Speaker
And fun enough, we didn't do an ADHD real podcast about New Year's. I think we we we we tacked it on to the end of something. But and um so I think I just I may have said that it was the year of health, at least that's what what I've liked. I just wanted to focus on being kind of healthy.
00:36:36
Speaker
and and that and let And that pretty much worked work work worked out. So, i you know, I got ah got cancer and then I got the cancer cut out. And then, so so my health has been pretty much at the forefront. And then this year, I think I'm just going to concentrate on on on wellness. So it's like, you know, um just generally being a more well person.
00:37:02
Speaker
Yeah. Upstairs and down downstairs. I mean, like, you know you know, mental health as well as physical health. So i'll just focus on on that a bit more. I need to do that.
00:37:15
Speaker
um That's the thing. It's the language thing that I need to do that. What I didn't say, if you notice, I didn't say I am going to do that. It's a big difference.
00:37:28
Speaker
I know I need I need to do something. um yeah Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes it's not going to set goals about it. um I know we need to do it. I don't need to tell me set a goal, you know.
00:37:42
Speaker
right so there's a so for a good example about how how goals can work is i may have said uh probably do say you know have said like god my goal is to brush my teeth every day, right? And then that became like a a goal that I couldn't do. But but then when I switched the goal to every time I go into the bathroom, I'm i'm going to brush my teeth and that was like that was the goal.
00:38:18
Speaker
So the the the big goal of I now brush my teeth, I just I just removed the big goal and just concentrated on the on the little thing that got me to brush my teeth. So at some point last year, I went, yeah, every time I go to that.
00:38:36
Speaker
bathroom where my toothbrush is, I'm going to brush my teeth. right And I have done, because I've just concentrated on a very small behaviour change. I like that. ah just yeah On that. And that little thing has meant that I've But at least once a day, sometimes twice a day. And my little bills have gone down. And and I only see myself i've gone from seeing my dentist every three months to every six
Celebrating Podcast Milestones
00:39:04
Speaker
months. Then hopefully next year I'll just be back to annual and like like an annual checkup.
00:39:10
Speaker
But there you go. It's like, what do you get? You get the habit of like, it's a language thing, isn't it? It's like being easy on yourself and actually think, actually, there's a lot of good things happened, a load of good things. It's not like, you know, I, my tendency is to, to reflect on on the negatives.
00:39:31
Speaker
It's like, there's a Douglas Adams. I know you're a friend of Douglas Adams. He once said, he was so negative about it. So he said, I watched through myself to the floor and a beast.
00:39:46
Speaker
I like that. It's brilliant. Yeah. I've got a story. story of So thought of like some of my favourite New Year's days, New Year's Eve. One of my favourite, the one that I always go to,
00:40:08
Speaker
is we were out with you. So it's me and my wife, who wasn't my wife then, we and we were with you. Yes. And you're... Oh, God. The girl that you were seeing, and we were in Brixton. This is the Brixton story. Yes. And we went out. Was that New Year? That was New Year. New Year's Eve. Of course it was. Yes, of course it was. And you said, yeah, let's go to the dog star. I think it was dog star. Yes. Or the bugger. I can't remember. Or the crypt. I don't know.
00:40:43
Speaker
um who one of those It was underneath the club underneath the church. Yeah. Yeah. Upstart. No, the no, the club underneath the um this church was called Mass. Okay.
00:40:59
Speaker
Um, let's go to this club, right? So we all met up and then things, things took a, a, a wrong turn really early and it was a big bust up. Um, and, and you, well, I don't think there was, no, I don't, I think I didn't turn, I don't think you have, well, I don't remember like that. The bus stop happened about like afterwards, five o'clock in the morning.
00:41:26
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. It was, it was quite bad night no ish before that. It was, it was. Um, and then, uh, I think she accused my wife of coming on to to her.
00:41:41
Speaker
right at one one one point it's she was she was something else she was something else some irish blood irish blood and then we decided at at five o'clock in the morning or where it was to get out right so because we were all staying at ah Your place, her place. Her place. We're staying at her place in Brixton.
00:42:08
Speaker
um
00:42:12
Speaker
Basically, I told, oh God, okay, here we go. I told, we were still in bed together in the morning, New Year's Day, and I told her that um um it wasn't working for me.
00:42:27
Speaker
Perfect timing. Great. There we go. what clearly was lovelyly tired Clearly the only timing in my stupid mind. um a lot of that I mean, that was, and she was like, turned towards me like, what?
00:42:47
Speaker
what and then it went from um i won't say exactly what she said but um have she said basically get the hell out of my house now right and take your friends with you so i went into the next room woke you up marty martin Marty, Marty. And you're like, whoa, what? Marty, we've got to go. Like now. Like now, now. Now. Go, go. Yes. Move, move, move, move. And remember, we got out and we're on Brixton Hill, going towards Brixton station. And you were like, look at me like, what, Paul? What, what the hell? What happened? What the hell?
00:43:42
Speaker
What the hell happened there? I know. And then I think we yeah we we ended up on. Was it Hampstead Heath or was it somewhere? I don't remember. I think we were just we were just walking around on New Year's Day, us three. Yeah, just it was like a calm, peaceful winter Hampstead Heath and we had breakfast in Hampstead Heath. Yeah, it was just like we just walked around Hampstead Heath.
00:44:09
Speaker
It was like, ah, it was like totally chilled. It was great. I loved that. That was like, that was like, Oh my God. and that was i mean thats ah so That was me like no sense of appropriate timing. Or if, you know, if I'd be a bit harder on myself, lack of respect for her, you know? Right.
00:44:32
Speaker
Um, it just to me, it's like, I didn't think about that at all. Like, Oh, now's as good a time as any to tell you. Oh, that was a good. wow okay okay well um maybe it's time to get back into the into the yes and we'll head over to the post post post office and we'll we'll uh yeah and we'll do the new year's honors list
00:45:05
Speaker
Yeah, right. Let's do that. bring them Bring the car round. Let's bring it round. And we'll drive back via Hampstead Heath and we'll reminisce along the way. Yeah. Let's not go by bricks. It's probably still there waiting for me. All right. Well. Yeah. Paul, your feedback.
00:45:30
Speaker
is. Your feedback is vital to us. So yes, hang on, I'm not on that page. Your, but I can remember, I remember it. So your yeah, your feedback is really, really important to us. We'd love to have your emails, all your comments be absolutely welcome. And maybe we'll read out your feedback on a future podcast. Yeah. Who knows?
00:45:52
Speaker
rate us, follow us, comment on us. yes And um as I said, ah the New Year's honours list. So this is all the people that have kind of like really helped us along the way yes this year. um And I think we can start off by just running down the ah the amazing guests that we've had. this um so we had we had we had uh we we had uh we had uh jonathan astor was our first hello jonathan our first guinea pig um in denmark guest from denmark um go and check out that episode he's a um a uh
00:46:38
Speaker
What is he a kind of motivation all kind of oh a coach? Yes, coach. Yeah. um So go and check out that episode. We had Michael on next. Autistically, I call from Canada.
00:46:58
Speaker
Yeah, ah great, great guy. Go and check out that podcast. um Lovely. and We talk about spoons and energy. and We also had ah ah we had ah my that ah we had Maddie Maddie from Mad about my money.
00:47:17
Speaker
um a in all in the UK. So go and check that that out if if if you're if if if you're if getting control of your finances this year. She's your person.
00:47:34
Speaker
Absolutely. And we had a Willie Dubs on. Yes. Autistic comedian. That was a very interesting and deep chat we had with him. We had Chloe on. A lovely Chloe. Which was a lovely chat about ADHD and this. Who we've got teed up, I think, for a Hopefully soon for a new episode with catching up with Chloe, hopefully. Hopefully we'll get her back. ah We had we had a David um who who came on to talk about his ADHD and his cop selling days. So that was an interesting and very fun chat.
00:48:19
Speaker
We had Seth Davidson, yeah we had seth davidson ah my friend, the school psychych psychologist, so go and check that episode out um if you've got kids.
00:48:32
Speaker
um and we had glo and and low suit was our which really sad I missed actually. I was even just me i was in Cuba. No, wasn't aware was I I was in Palermo. I wish I was in Cuba. I was in Palermo. Couldn't make it such a shame. Really nice episode. So check that one out. Yep. So there's a bunch of guests and then the the the honors list for outstanding uh, the outstanding services to, to, uh, to supporting us in 2024, um, was, uh, and another, again, the shout out to Lee O'Connor, um, who, uh, who, uh, who, who, who, who, who supported us, um, uh, early, early, early doors, um,
00:49:23
Speaker
and and a new one, ali Alexandra yeah in Greece. Fantastic. ah Who I speak to a lot. Yeah really cool. you or and Also Michael as well who's also a guest but he's also been a massive supporter of our podcasts and always really really kind in ah you know kind of passing the word on about our podcasts. Right cool. I have to say there ah there's been a kind of guest on on a podcast but she's never actually appeared
00:49:56
Speaker
Um, the, the, the most she's ever appeared was like handing me a sandwich or a cup of tea. It's my girlfriend Mina. He's like ever present and being really supportive yeah as well. Amazing.
00:50:10
Speaker
Exactly. And of course, you are now forcing me to mention my wife, um who is obviously a ah a supporter. And then lastly on the list is Shelly, who's also on tick TikTok, who who who also is ah is a huge supporter. And I have to say my that um Seth I was talking to him me the other day, Seth Davison, the school psychologist, he he still listens to every episode.
00:50:44
Speaker
Oh, right. Uh-huh. So, so he's out there doing a thing. Um, my brother, Andrew, he listens to, um, I don't know whether it's every episode, but he certainly does give a lot of episodes. Um, a good shake. Um, I think my, my, my, we're missing him.
00:51:07
Speaker
My sister-in-law, Anne, she listens to a lot of our ah listen to a lot of our episodes in 2024 as well. So a big shout out to to Anne, who's learning to play the piano, which has bought a nice one as well. But a nice upright. Yeah. Nice black up upright. What about the piano?
00:51:31
Speaker
Boom, shh, I'm here and we can try the video. We're missing one from the guest list, the lovely Alice, Alicia Alice. Oh my God. What? How did I miss that? I was going down the thing and everything. Yeah, yeah. Because so what made me think of Alicia, because she's from Italy, of course. So we've got weve got Martin, we've got a few people that come up to me and said, oh, Paul, you you do know i listen to it a lot of I've listened to a lot of your podcasts. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
00:52:00
Speaker
So, um, so if you're out there and you listen to a lot of our podcasts, jump in the comments, say hi every week, yeah you know, just kind of like, even if it's just a smiley face emoji on YouTube, whatever, just, just kind of reach out and, um, yeah and say hi and, um, and let let us know that you're out there. Actually going through that list, she really, we realized that actually that our demographic, it's not what we thought it would be.
00:52:30
Speaker
All right. What did you think it was going to be? Well, because, you know, we're like, you know, to a white old geezers, the original name of the podcast was going to be old geezers. Talk ADHD. And it turns out our podcast is actually much broader traction than we thought, which is great. I love that.
00:52:59
Speaker
yeah kind of yeah a very yeah what's what's the word a very broad church right and and our audience also I'm surprised it is a is more is younger and more, uh, more, uh, more attractive than us. Yes. but Way more and and co and co and a cooler. Yeah. So come on. So, so, um, yeah, must be doing something right somewhere. Somehow. Mm-hmm.
00:53:33
Speaker
um And looking ahead for 2025 for ADHDville, we have no plans of stopping. then no way we We have still managed to not kill this podcast, which is quite an amazing achievement all but by film. Amazing.
00:53:51
Speaker
right amazing given that you Martin you said to me right from the start said Paul let's not plan beyond 10 episodes yeah there you go set small goals met as met met small um and we've done 65 i think 64 66 there we go somewhere around there we're in the mid 60s um said a chest bump above ah um over the atlantic martin yeah and we will be having more guests on this year. I'm trying to line up some. So yeah, we'll have some, again, we'll have some different voices, different journeys, because I think that's important. Yeah, because we tried to make, I said to talk about broad church before, we tried to reflect that with our guests, and I think we've done a pretty good job with it, you know, six or seven guests that we've had.
00:54:51
Speaker
All right, even really like broad cross section of people. We're sure we're trying broadening it out even more. Yeah, all right. So with that, it just leaves me to say that ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all purveyors of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the podcast and make us most marvellous. Feel free to comment, correspond with
00:55:24
Speaker
beautiful faces then sally forth to the to me youtubes and the tiktoks the come here though and make 2025 and twenty five ah that you dump even more shame