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Episode 1: "A Guide to High School From 'A to Rushmore'"
106 Plays3 months ago
The first episode of our 90s themed 'Kids on Bikes' campaign. Meet our kids as they struggle through the biggest challenge of their lives so far...high school. This is a fully improvised TTRPG campaign where we test the limits on how much flexibility our players can have.
Starring:
Tucker Dally Johnston as 'Alfie Towers'
Ivana Mendez as 'Chad Brewers'
Nate Valentine as 'Janet JC. Cromwell'
Paul Emrich as 'Game Master'.
Music provided by 'Rebel Kicks'.
Email us at BeatOurQuest@Gmail.com or find us on most social media @BeatOurQuest.
Join our Discord at: https://discord.gg/3GAJ8NPvvF
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Beat Our Quest'
00:00:06
Speaker
This is Beat Our Quest, an improvised comedy role-playing podcast using the Kids on Bikes system. And even though you can't see us, we are all wearing our helmets.
Explaining the Kids on Bikes System
00:00:23
Speaker
Hey, hi there. Hey, it's me, Tucker. Since it's the first episode, I wanted to take a second just to explain what Kids on Bikes is and how we will be loosely, loosely following its rules.
00:00:35
Speaker
First and foremost, Kids on Bikes is all about role-playing and less about the technicalities of fighting and magic spells and things like that. It's more make-believe.
00:00:46
Speaker
But that being said, we do have character sheets and stats. Each character has a stat and an associated dice for it. So sometimes Paul will ask a player to roll a number based on that stat.
00:00:58
Speaker
Brains, brawn, fight, flight, charm, grit. Each player has a dice D4, D6, D8, D10, D12, D20 associated with those stats, depending on their character.
00:01:09
Speaker
For example, a smart player might have a d20 in brains and a d4 in charm. When prompted, they roll a die and try to beat the number associated with the difficulty of the challenge. There are some other technicalities. You're going hear things like exploding and adversity tokens.
00:01:24
Speaker
Don't worry about it. We almost don't pay attention to it. We do. Don't get mad at us. But the point is that we just wanted to tell you a little bit about how this works. and to tell you to have fun like we
Setting the Scene: Silver Ridge, 1998
00:01:35
Speaker
are.
00:01:35
Speaker
The year is 1998. a We find ourselves in Silver Ridge, Colorado, a small mountain town that had been established over a hundred years ago.
00:01:48
Speaker
Part of this town's distinction is a tremendous research laboratory that's been carved into the mountains with a huge telescope that's constantly surveying the night sky. course, the history of this mountain town and research labs and alien phenomenon aren't that important to a young Alfie Towers who's biking his way into school.
00:02:11
Speaker
Tucker, would you like to describe your character, please?
Introducing Alfie Towers
00:02:13
Speaker
Oh, sure. Alfie is a freshman. um he's He's pretty smart. ah He really likes movies and technology. He's going to join the AV club, but you know he's trying out something a little different.
00:02:31
Speaker
um So hes he's trying to go full goth right now. And... He doesn't exactly know what that means, but golly, is he trying. Great.
00:02:42
Speaker
So you're on your way. You kind of put this together, some kind of an outfit. And as you're biking in, it's a Tuesday, and something clicks in you and you realize you're maybe 20 minutes out from school. It's Spirit Week.
00:02:53
Speaker
Ivana, what is the theme for Tuesday's Spirit Week? It's crazy hair day. Now, Alfie, you're going to have just a few minutes as you're biking into school. You've got a helmet on, so you're probably a little limited.
00:03:05
Speaker
What are you going to um um I'm going to pull off on the side of the road and go towards the nearest, I would say, culvert ah and try to get some rainwater. Yeah.
00:03:24
Speaker
ah cut Okay. From the ditch and put it into my my hair and try to make a unicorn knot, I guess, coming straight out.
00:03:38
Speaker
That's the plan. that's That's what'll get people to like me. you are You're in the ground right now, like you know making this look in your hair, and you look up, and in the distance, you see a bus that almost all the other kids are going to be riding in What do you do to avoid that bus?
00:03:55
Speaker
Avoid that bus? Well, you don't have to avoid it, but you're about to see a bus with all of your classmates are about to see you fastening some kind of a gross hair thing out of the ditch. Gross hair thing.
00:04:08
Speaker
It's all the rage in 1990. Inscriptions. um What do you do? I'm going to i' going to do something that Tucker's actually done when trying to avoid someone while also near a river and jump in. Amazing. Oh, no.
00:04:25
Speaker
ah I want to hear the story after the reception. Yes, please. What was her name? police. The police.
00:04:37
Speaker
Roxanne? There you Nice. I'm gonna give you, let's have you make a flight roll. Oh, sure. A Great. My flight.
00:04:49
Speaker
Nice. I rolled a seven. You ready, you toss off your backpack so it doesn't get wet or anything like that. And you dump into the water and you see the bus kind of like cruise past.
00:05:00
Speaker
We'll come back to the ramifications of that as we follow the bus ah going down the school. There on the bus... Nate.
Character Introductions Continue: Janet and Chad
00:05:10
Speaker
Yeah? What are you doing on the bus? Ha ha, Janet takes the bus. Janet is obviously, well, not obviously, I'll i'll give myself a little description, in the vibe here. Janet is a straight A student.
00:05:22
Speaker
Someone less kind, might call her a little bit of a tryhard. Big on school spirit. She's on the cheerleading squad. She is not very very much from like a single single mother household, like not a lot of money, so she's kind of in like, not secondhand, but like definitely like you know, I think like TJ Maxx attempt at being Abercrombie kind of outfit. Like she cares, she's not as well dressed, not as well dressed as like, you know, the captain of the cheerleading squad.
00:05:50
Speaker
Her kind of look is like a ponytail that's like maybe a little too tight, almost like a stern ponytail. um So she always has a headache? um Speaking from someone who, when i have a really tight ponytail, I always have a migraine.
00:06:05
Speaker
Just want to put that out She just, like, attribute that to the amount of stress she puts on herself. But, like, sure, let's make it canon. I have a headache all the time. so relatable. like her.
00:06:16
Speaker
school the school colors obviously blue and yellow she's wearing um blue shirt with like a yellow pants what time of year is it i don't know yellow pants it's fall it's early it's maybe the second week of school sure blue blue sweater because it's fall yellow pants um and actually today because she's big on school spirit she has bought like spray in uh hair dye and She's going to rock her ponytail. It's kind of her thing. But one half is just spray painted for the day with washout dye yellow and one half is blue.
00:06:50
Speaker
Are the school colors yellow and blue then? Yes. right. I got to start. We're officially like documenting and I might as well find out what is the name of the school? um Silver Lake High.
00:07:02
Speaker
Well, Silver Ridge, because it'd be weird to call it totally something different. No, you're wrong. um Yeah. and And on the bus ride, um I think there is a history quiz today. So probably just like brushing up well studied, but just, you know, and never have too many reps for the big quiz.
00:07:21
Speaker
You're actually probably practicing with one of your fellow cheer mates who's really not prepared. And yeah she needs to get what is her name? Danielle. Danielle. Danielle is there, and she's she's, like, really not... She's trying really hard.
00:07:35
Speaker
Yeah, I know. she's sitting there and says, okay, ah one more time, and we're we're doing History of Rugs, right? So, really, what just what are some basic dates I need to remember? No, it's not Rugs. It's Mount Rushmore. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And she's just ripping sheets out of her book. Okay. Okay. So there's five people we need to know, right? Four.
00:07:56
Speaker
God! Oh, my God. and And one more time, I know we've done this, and I know you can do this. You tell me what more people are on the world for. Cesar Chavez.
00:08:09
Speaker
Julius Caesar. um The guy invented the Caesar salad in 1912. And Abe Lincoln, because he was a hero of this nation. And tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm wrong.
00:08:21
Speaker
yeah we're getting That's better than last time. Yeah, that you we're but really getting there. um I'm excited. I'm excited for this bus ride to be over. Great. Can you roll a um ah brains roll on her behalf to see how much she's able to get to have figure out by the end of this? Beat a six.
00:08:37
Speaker
I rolled a four. Okay, so that's we're going to deal with the ramifications, but she got a four at some point time. You guys are are getting off, um and there you see the ah the football team has just finished practicing in that morning.
00:08:51
Speaker
Ivana, would you like to introduce yourself, please? Yeah! I'm Ivana. Yes, and you are playing... oh and my character? Oh, yeah, please. I'm your wife. But if you're here...
00:09:11
Speaker
Well, I'm playing Chad. There's not a lot of description to give to Chad because I think we've all met a Chad or a Chad affiliate. ah Chad knows how to throw, how to catch.
00:09:25
Speaker
Chad likes babes. Chad likes football. And Chad is learning to like beer. um sorry, i have one quick question. What is Chad's current favorite beer?
00:09:35
Speaker
Current favorite beer is root beer, but he's not telling his friends Ha ha ha!
00:09:43
Speaker
but So, Chad, you're there with ah one of your best friends. He's Meatball. Meatball! Yes. Full name is Zeke the Meatball Matowski. Yeah. And he's sitting there. he's You've just been running the last couple plays the last night.
00:09:56
Speaker
And you're actually going to flash back to last night's game. And there you are in the lineup. You have one last chance for the play. The whole game is on the line. Oh, no. and you ready And you're like, they're lined up. Now, what is your plan, Chad? What are you doing for this last minute play? If you win, if you score, you guys win. no You know, winning in overtime.
00:10:14
Speaker
This is it? This is it. We're flashing back to what happened from last night. well There is only one man Chad trusts to finish the job. And it's Meatball, obviously. Yeah! So... Okay.
00:10:30
Speaker
He's going to say his famous catchphrase, hidden secret catchphrase, because obviously the team can't like figure out who he's talking to. um And his catchphrase secret code to Meatball is sub sub up up.
00:10:47
Speaker
And then he throws the ball to Meatball. Meatball catches it and runs the other direction, which is very trippy. And they don't really know what to do. So Chad runs towards the end zone.
00:11:02
Speaker
And then Meatball, who has a better throw than Chad, throws it. to Chad. And Chad catches it and technically does the yeah touchdown himself. Great.
00:11:17
Speaker
This is going to be a brawn roll. Oh, I have to roll for it. Oh, I just describing this play. No, I was such a traditional, easy play to pull off. Of course.
00:11:29
Speaker
This is going to be brawn roll of 10. Oh, well, wait, wait. I have a broad 20. So I automatically get it. Now, it is not a planned action um because this is this is a like in the heat this is up, sub up up sub up, up, bro.
00:11:47
Speaker
I'm going to you're going to have to roll on this. Now, I will give you your bonus because it is a literal sports thing. Fine. I rolled 22. Okay. Jesus. So, Disgrunt.
00:12:02
Speaker
Should I add that Chad also does a lap around the whole football field and then catches it? He goes Super Saiyan. um Yeah, you you you throw toss the ball to Meatball. Meatball acts like he's going to run.
00:12:15
Speaker
Fakes it out. who Throws the ball to Chad. Chad, you make an amazing diving catch. You catch the ball in the end zone. What do you do to celebrate? i rip my shirt off. And he goes, yeah!
00:12:28
Speaker
The rafts throw flags. People are all mad. People losing their mind. We flash back to that moment where mean Paul was like, yeah, so I didn't really feel comfortable taking my shirt off.
00:12:40
Speaker
um But i'm I'm glad. I'm not glad you did. But ah ah he's all sweating uncomfortably talking about last night's game. It's OK. Me, you don't have to take your shirt off if you don't want to. I did that because I felt it I felt it in my heart that I needed to do it.
00:12:57
Speaker
I just, I wanted you to know I got a tattoo and I'm really excited to show it off. But I didn't, I wasn't ready last night at the game. oh Okay, there's always next time. Oh, yeah.
00:13:09
Speaker
Do you want me to get a tattoo? Okay, my dad doesn't let me get tattoos, but I can draw something similar and we can have friendship tattoos if you want. I'll use a Sharpie to do mine. Oh, yeah. I guess that would be okay, too.
00:13:22
Speaker
Can I see your tattoo? Not right now. No, I'm embarrassed. No, come on. Right now. Come on, Chad. No, wait. Come on, me. I'm Chad. I'm getting confused and frazzled. I gotta go fix my hair.
00:13:33
Speaker
Oh. The bell rings. You guys go to your first class. I'm dying to know what that tattoo is. Setting mystery stakes. You guys are all getting ready for your first class.
00:13:44
Speaker
We are going to history class. Alfie.
Alfie's Academic Achievement
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah. You're a freshman. You've skipped out of history. You've had a good excuse to get into an a more advanced history class.
00:13:56
Speaker
What is the thing you gave a presentation on, like really specific thing in school history that like got you out of taking freshman history? They they were like, oh, we can put you in an advanced history class. I did an entire thesis on the history of thumb wars.
00:14:13
Speaker
so yeah Great. Do you have any like really major fact that was worth knowing? Yes. It used to not be ah one, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war. What it used to be was back in the early Gaelic, it would actually translate to something more like, if you don't thumb my thumb right now,
00:14:35
Speaker
death to your mother. Wow. It's aggressive. I didn't realize that it came from Scotland. Sure did, probably. The thumb was invented. That's true.
00:14:46
Speaker
Back when Darwin invented thumbs... So guys are all taking this history class on Mount Rushmore. You are all sitting there. Each one of you now is going to make a brains roll of six.
00:14:59
Speaker
Okay. I rolled an eight. Oh, actually, I exploded. oh Oh. Hell yeah. oh Ooh. So tell us more about Mount Rushmore. I rolled a ten. Okay, great.
00:15:12
Speaker
Alfie, how'd you do? Six. Great. I rolled a one. Okay. Classic Chad. ah The teacher takes the things. Chad, what is what did you do wrong on this quiz?
00:15:25
Speaker
As the teacher's now taking all the things and getting ready grade. could have sworn the teacher said it was going to be a quiz on the history of rugs. um ah Persia! So, like, I'm really set with thread count.
00:15:43
Speaker
And
00:15:47
Speaker
I can describe different knitting techniques. It's actually very impressive. but Yeah, yeah. yeah yeah Actually extremely well prepared for the test. Just got screwed up. As you guys leave, Chad, you get flagged down by the professor, professor teacher.
00:16:04
Speaker
They might be professors at the school. We'll see how how specific. Professor teacher, I could have sworn you said the history of frogs. Yes, well, I understand the confusion, Chad. We are doing our star everything alphabetically in this history class, not chronologically. So...
00:16:22
Speaker
If you had attended last week, you would have realized we handled rugs and rubble and ah somebody else help me out. Rubles.
00:16:34
Speaker
The ruins of but the ruins of the Aztec. Yeah, the ruins of the yeah Thank you. Boom. Yes. alphabet alphat Alphabetical is a little loose. Yeah. yeah it what Which is why I didn't include a Mount in Mount Rushmore.
00:16:49
Speaker
Oh, boy.
00:16:54
Speaker
Anyways. Shut up, shut up. Everyone shut up. I'm the teacher. Shut up. Chad, I was thinking that maybe you could do a little bit of an extra credit thing. Your your dad told me it's important you play in the little footsie ballsy game this weekend. so I'm sorry, the what? The footsie ballsy game that you play.
00:17:13
Speaker
Can you say that just one more time for my pleasure? Footsie ballsy game. Excellent. Thank you, continue, professor teacher. like that you slowed it down. Yeah. Yeah. No, Chad. Yeah. I need you to do a little bit of an extra credit assignment. Janet, Janet. Yeah. Can you, can you end, um, what's that, what's that little weird greasy boy who stinks with the unicorn horn?
00:17:38
Speaker
Robert? Oh, uh, the new, the new freshest unicorn. Oh, the unicorn. Name is, uh... Name is, uh... What's my name, Nate? I keep wanting to say Tucker, and I know that's not it. Oh, Alfie. Alfie, yeah, hey. um Yeah, his name's Alfie.
00:17:57
Speaker
He's, uh... He's trying something new with his hair today. Alfie, Alfie, did you go swimming this morning before school in your clothes? what No, in my clothes. that why you' There's a huge puddle under you. Yeah, it's crazy hair day.
00:18:14
Speaker
I don't think I need to explain myself.
00:18:19
Speaker
What's this, though? And Chad's going to pull some like weeds like from your pa from your back pocket. um That's part of the hairdo. Wet. Like, oh.
00:18:30
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going with a marsh witch voodoo vibe, you know? All right. I'm pretty sure I'm pulling it off. theme today was crazy hairdo. And my hair is crazy, and that involves my pockets.
00:18:43
Speaker
Anyway, what's up? What can I do for you, ah Janet? We were just talking to Professor Teacher. but you oh his name is now Professor Teacher, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. There's no going back.
00:18:55
Speaker
For Latin for teacher. Yeah, professor's Latin. No, teacher is. Teacher's Latin for teacher. I need you to kind of steer these two with a little bit of direction. You see, Chad is struggling in this class, and Alfie's a little lonely. Yeah, I'm kind of getting that. you think you can work together on an extra credit assignment?
00:19:18
Speaker
ah Yeah, you know, I'm always happy to to help students out, other other classmates. What kind of What kind of assignment did you have in mind? Well, I was thinking we could do some work on some ah rare gemstones and things like that. And there may be certainly some kind of a thing you could study. so You know, we do ah we're a mining town, after all. And there's all kinds of great history after about that. Okay.
00:19:40
Speaker
um What's the name of our town again? Silver Ridge. Silver Ridge. do you think Do you think there would be any, like, should we go to the Silver Ridge ah Archaeological Museum or something? Like, would that, that kind, those kind of rare? it's That's a very specific answer. I love it. We kind of have to go there now.
00:19:58
Speaker
And by that, I mean you. You say extra product. I say free field trip. Am I right? I mean, you know, let's have some fun with this. So, I mean, I love learning, but I love a good field trip. So. Great. While this happens, Chad is outlining his hand on the chalkboard okay with chalk.
00:20:14
Speaker
And then once he's done, he's going to write ah Chad Turkey underneath. It's a classic move. Chad Turkey. Yeah. Very, very good chat.
00:20:26
Speaker
The bell rings. You guys are all going to go depart to your own classes. What class is Alfie really confident in? out Alfie is really confident in ah literature class. um So you're going to your literature class, um and you've been a little late. you You come in, and you take your seat. You look around the room. You see if you haven't really made any friends, and there you actually see this one girl...
Janet's Spirit Week Adventure
00:20:51
Speaker
you do recognize her name is jackie swunch jackie swunch is wearing those kind of big black combat boots if you can recall those like big big chunky platforms you so many buckles she looks like a final fantasy character come to life um and very clearly like dyed black hair what's she doing for crazy hair day So you sit down and she realizes that she hasn't done anything. So you sit down next to her, uh, cause that's the only seat left. And she looks at you and then looks away really embarrassed. Oh, Hey, Jackie.
00:21:30
Speaker
Um, did you also forget that it was crazy hair day? Oh, um. And she, like, grabs her hair and she's, like, playing with it. She was like, oh well, i didn't I didn't really know that was a thing.
00:21:43
Speaker
i don't really know what... I didn't know what Spirit Week was. I thought it was, like, a ghost thing. I watched this weird movie about ghost hunting recently. Poltergeist Slammers! Slammers!
00:21:56
Speaker
Uh, I, um, I didn't, I, I, it was fun. So I thought that was what spirit week was. And that's why i dressed in that weird, like goopy outfit yesterday and people made fun of me. So I didn't really know. I didn't get it. I'm sorry. you Hey, you don't, um, have to apologize to me. I really liked your goopy ghost yesterday.
00:22:15
Speaker
i thought it was a very brave choice for pajama day. I was confused. I thought that you might be uncomfortable while you slept. But, you know, Tucker, can you um describe the goopy ghost outfit?
00:22:29
Speaker
Yeah, the goopy ghost outfit from Poltergeist Slammers. Yeah. yeah Which, by the way, sounds like a softcore point. It doesn't sound like a real movie at all. Or a wrestling match. Well, the ghost that she is dressing up as is known as Blumber.
00:22:47
Speaker
And so um it's actually a very big, wide thing. So what she did, I believe, is she took her parents' duvet and just got it really wet and draped it over herself, cut a hole right right in the center. What is it with you guys?
00:23:09
Speaker
damp is really goth yeah yeah yeah and then she uh poured uh maple syrup all over i'm just just imagining what it would be like to spend five seconds in that costume let alone like hours a whole day oh it's miserable as i didn't really understand and so i didn't do anything so i guess i i like your spearhead Thank you.
00:23:32
Speaker
Yeah, i I actually, um, I forgot it was crazy hair day too, so I, do you want to borrow some of, I have these wet weeds. Most everything I have is wet right now.
00:23:45
Speaker
Um, Chad was digging through my pockets, which seemed weird and a violation, but I didn't say anything because he's Chad. Um, but if you want, you know, something to put in your, like you could tie it in a bow.
00:23:59
Speaker
Oh, um, Or not. That's fine. It smells. I get it. Thanks. And she she does that, and she like starts tying it a little bit in her hair, and she like gives you a little wave. um And the the class just finally gets going.
00:24:13
Speaker
ah We're going Knocked money over. That's going to come up on the audio. Money! Just showing off how rich you are. We get it. Look how many nickels I found while I was looking for quarters.
00:24:27
Speaker
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! uh janet we're getting out of your class what is the you're padding your you know resume as much as you can and you've been told like hey look the only way you're going to get into one of those really nice ivy league head schools especially from like a nobody's town like silver ridge is if you start some really unique clubs like we're not even talking like un okay you know those are all humdrum we already know you're the head of the un what is the new club that you're trying to get started at school
00:24:59
Speaker
The still-life photography book. Nice. Wow. You're there, and you need to get 10 student signatures in order to get a budget. in order to get it And so it's got you've got it going, and you've got, what was her name, Ashley? Danielle. Danielle. done And Ashley. Now we have three. We got Ashley, too. You're right. So you've got three. So right now, we're going to make a charm roll. Depending on what you roll is how many signatures you're going to manage to get.
00:25:25
Speaker
Ooh, I rolled a one. Ooh. Sorry, can I just ask a logistical question? Do I get an adversity token for that? Yeah, you failed whatever your goal was. I thought... Okay. i didn know Oh, I see. I thought that was... I have no idea what your charm was, and I felt like that was an interesting... you know So if you want to get ah seven... like i felt like you know we could have said it that way too, right? I guess you had to beat a seven yeah if we want to play by kids on bike rules. But I thought that was like... you know this I'm playing with a lot of mechanics. Yeah.
00:25:53
Speaker
in this campaign. So yeah, yeah. No, mean, what are the mechanics, if not the the device by which to tap on? So you, you have ah two students there and you get one kid to sign up. What is the name of the student who signed up? Ivana?
00:26:07
Speaker
Oh, Clyde Mitchell Harris. And what? Okay. No, if you had another one there, go fire it up. The other one is Samantha.
00:26:20
Speaker
bring us it's pronounced like that too bring gas bring gas it's a question yeah and it makes you feel uncomfortable you don't know if you're pronouncing it wrong yeah uh you get clyde to sign up he's really excited and he's got his little camera around his neck he's the first one to sign up uh and he looks at he it he kind of goes to you janet he goes uh janet i'm really excited if you know work with you again on something. It hasn't been since we were doing that whole um Vietnam Journalism Exposรฉ class last year.
00:26:50
Speaker
That was really enlightening. Yeah, it was really intense. i'm I'm excited, you know. Yeah, I don't get a lot of time to do, like, the kind of extracurricular type of classes because I'm so busy with, you know, the arts and sciences, history and math. And, um you know, I took a freshman photography course, so i thought this would be a good time to kind of yeah do both, you know.
00:27:11
Speaker
get my resume looking good and totally get to play with my camera a little more. Yeah. That's really cool. That's really cool. Um, uh, I don't know if, I don't know if any of you, if you've got any, uh, interest, but maybe you and I could practice taking some photos together too sometime, you know, just to like, I need some more practice doing like with models.
00:27:31
Speaker
And I don't know if you'd maybe be interested. like, I'm picking up contextually that this is a come on. Oh, I mean, I think, I think every woman has been able to do that since they were 12. I don't know. It's a dice game.
00:27:45
Speaker
Yes. Okay, how aware is Janet right now? we're gonna Is this a brains role? How hard would do you think this brains role is for Janet? Me? Yeah. I don't know, like two. Is Janet like a total, like, oblivious girl? and No, no, no, she wouldn't be. so Okay, I take it back. Pretend I didn't ask.
00:28:04
Speaker
Oh, ah you know, Clyde, I... Last time... Last time we we were, you know, working together, i wasn't super comfortable, so... um If, uh, if there's more people there, yeah, sure. But no, I, uh, um,
00:28:22
Speaker
Don't want to hang out alone with you. Sorry. Okay. You know what? You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And ah Mitchell here is going to take a lot of shots.
00:28:33
Speaker
So as he walks away, you see Samantha is there and she kind of like stares and gives you like a weird look. And then she shakes her head immediately when she realizes that Mitchell is going to be a part of the club.
00:28:44
Speaker
And she walks away. So you're sitting there at that, ah you're sitting there at your desk kind of waiting. You watch the bell go and you see a lot of kids go. And there you look up after all the kids kind of pass and you've got a little bit of a time um as you're cleaning up your thing.
00:28:59
Speaker
And there's Johnny Mellon's. Johnny Mellon's has been in the same class as you since you were in elementary school. And you think back to one of those moments when Johnny Mellon was a total dickhead. Oh, yeah. Well, john I mean, Johnny's I mean, his favorite thing to do in middle school was to ah save his milk from his fucking lunch tray and and him and him and his buddy.
00:29:25
Speaker
john Johnny Melons, obviously his best friend, Johnny Junctor, who moved to it went to a private high school. Nice. course. But Johnny Junctor would trip. he would They would tabletop.
00:29:36
Speaker
So Johnny Junctor would get on his knees. Johnny Melons would push. the kid, and then he would dump his milk on him while they were on the ground. He's douchebag. They'd call them the Johnnies until the other one left. We did, yeah and thank goodness there's only one of them, because Johnny can't be quite as mean without a tabletop.
00:29:56
Speaker
ha Johnny won. Johnny Mellon. So as you're you're picking up the thing, Johnny Mellon is over there, and he's, like, looking at your thing, and he's trying to make it look like he's signing up for your...
00:30:10
Speaker
ah your club as you've been cleaning the rest of it. out I'm sorry. He's trying to make it look like he's signing. No, he is. He, uh, you see him holding the clipboard, clearly writing his own name and trying to sign up for the class. Oh, okay. I'm going to, okay. I'd like to walk up and I'm going to snatch it out from under him.
00:30:27
Speaker
Hey, what are you, what are you doing? Johnny? Whoa, whoa. I want to be a part of your little club. I want to, I want to look at still, still, still pictures. so I'm for of life.
00:30:38
Speaker
Yeah, dude to do you even have a camera, Johnny? I can get a camera. No, thanks. We don't we don't need your trouble in here. I know you don't care about school. I know you don't care about the art of still life photography, and I will not have you bringing that energy into my club.
00:30:54
Speaker
I don't care if it's going to get me into Yale. Little Miss Smarty Pants thinks she's too good to take photos of me. Well, maybe i don't have to be in your club and you could just let me be a model. You know, people always want to check out the melon. Oh, fuck. Yeah, Johnny, I'll give you a call if we need ah a dumb bully model.
00:31:13
Speaker
Wow. Well, when you're ready, the melon is ripe. And he like awkwardly flexes um at the table. Oh, man. Yeah. but Chad.
00:31:24
Speaker
Chad! You walk by as you're going to your class and you see Johnny Mellon flexing ah at ah Janet. what do you Do you have any reaction? Do you even care? Do you know Johnny?
00:31:38
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I know Johnny. um We also go way back. I knew them as the Johnnies as well. Okay. and I don't like... I don't like him. To be honest with you, i really don't like him.
00:31:51
Speaker
he burned down the microwave once when we were in fourth grade. And so we weren't able to bring microwavable foods again for that whole year because we got punished because of him.
00:32:02
Speaker
And i don't I haven't liked him since. We're going to flashback to that day in the the microwave where it's little Johnny and little Chad. Chad! Chad! i I dare you to put this in the microwave. ah Those heaters? Yeah. I don't...
00:32:19
Speaker
My dad said if if it shows you a reflection, don't put it in the microwave. And, like, the inside of the hitos, you can see your face. Hamster didn't have a reflection, and it was totally fine to put in the microwave? Is that what you're saying? Oh, fuck. All right.
00:32:35
Speaker
Fine, Johnny. I'll do it, but only because... i care about hamsters. Okay, I know you care about hamsters. I'm going to do it, Johnny, but only because I want you to like me. Like, you didn't invite me to your last birthday, and that wasn't cool, man.
00:32:49
Speaker
Oh, yo before before you do that, you should you should put some of this ah oil, dump some of this oil on it. I'm Johnny Jonker. Johnny! Come on, Johnny!
00:33:01
Speaker
Chad turns and he pushes him over. ah
00:33:06
Speaker
i pray for the day he gets sent to another school.
00:33:11
Speaker
Chad's gonna cry. ah Chad, yeah do you interrupt ah this moment between Johnny and ah Janet? are you going to? Yeah. Chad's just going to cross and pull his pants down and then run away. Wait. Okay.
00:33:28
Speaker
Whose pants? Oh, Johnny's, obviously. The way you phrased that. He moves the whole room. Chad cares about
Chad and Janet's Interaction
00:33:39
Speaker
babes. Yeah.
00:33:42
Speaker
You pull down Johnny's pants. The whole room laughs. I guess not so much of a melon, huh, Johnny? maybe maybe Maybe we should start calling you Johnny Raisin. No!
00:33:54
Speaker
Little Johnny Raisin! I just got out of diving class! I just got out of diving class. Lay off! I'm being too mean. ah the the that's That was great. Johnny johnty storms out, ah leaving you and Chad.
00:34:10
Speaker
Thanks, Chad. High five, Janet. Yeah, I'll take that high five. I'm glad you stepped in. That guy, he doesn't know how to take a hint, and he's always trying to mess stuff up for everyone. But you called him Johnny Raisins!
00:34:23
Speaker
How did you think of that? Well, actually, I thought of it like five weeks ago on the bus and I've been waiting for an opportunity to use it. But yeah, I still feel pretty good about it. I was, you know, I don't want to hurt his feelings, but God, he's such a jerk.
00:34:38
Speaker
What do you have there? Is that clipboard? and like Yeah, well, where're I'm starting a i was starting a club for still life photography and I need to get 10 signatures, actually. do Would you be interested in signing up, Chad?
00:34:53
Speaker
I mean, I don't think we should take pictures of dead people, but... It's more like a... Where do you get them? You know, like trees. Like, do you go to the hospital?
00:35:04
Speaker
There's no dead people involved, I promise. And you know what? okay. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, great. Oh, yeah, you'll sign? Okay, cool. Yeah, then I'll sign. stop trying to sell you on it. Go ahead. Great. Here's a Sharpie. No, I like it.
00:35:16
Speaker
Can I keep the Sharpie? No. ah have I have one of every single color, and I need that one. It goes in the middle. That's fine. I get it.
00:35:25
Speaker
ah Janet is just brutally honest about everything in her life. ah Chad's going to sign it. Great. no Thank you so much, Chad. And become a member of the Still Life Dead Photography. That was cool, Chad.
00:35:38
Speaker
And you know what? um Great job yesterday, you know, and we were you when we were cheerleading. That play was crazy. The cash for meatball. Oh, yeah. The sub sub up. The sub sub up. Yeah. We love that one. Okay. Yeah.
00:35:51
Speaker
Cool. Well, it's because his name's Meatball. Oh. And so like a Meatball sub. That's pretty clever. And then he throws it up. I throw it up and then he throws it up.
00:36:02
Speaker
So it's he grabs it once. I grab it twice. I came up with the name. I'm not as good as you. gotha Yeah. i guess I guess this is why I'm a cheerleader and not a football player. Right, Chad? Yeah.
00:36:15
Speaker
That's true. yeah women can't be football players.
00:36:20
Speaker
Okay, well, it was great talking. Before Chad leaves, he says ah he says to Janet, all right, I have to go to practice, but I'll see you after class for the extra credit. Can you get the the little boy? Okay. Yeah, great. I'll grab Alfie and I'll meet you after next period and we can all bike over. Chad's going to jump, slap the ah ceiling and and walk away. Nice. Alfie, there anything you need to handle before end of day?
00:36:53
Speaker
No, no, just really excited to get this extra credit. We even know I don't know why i need this extra credit because um I'm doing great in the class. It feels like an attack on me personally.
00:37:06
Speaker
ah Well, yeah, the teacher said some rather hurtful things about you to your face, actually, in that class. Yeah, I feel like I was right there. i wasn't sure if I was there or not. I think you know how they feel about a freshman showing up in their advanced alphabetical order historical studies class. Well, they should have made numbers history harder.
00:37:29
Speaker
um Great. So you are out at the doors. You've caught Chad. um what do you so You see Alfie coming out. Alfie, what class are you leaving?
00:37:42
Speaker
What class am I leaving? ah Home economics. And boy, did I burn myself on those mini egg quiches. You're doing quiches already? Wow, that's impressive, though. i'm my My bottom half is wet and my hands are covered in bandages.
00:37:59
Speaker
But are you leaving with any leftover food? Did you, like, successfully make quiches or are they just... No, that was... they ah where It's a miracle we still have an oven. And who is the home economics teacher? The home economics teacher is Mr. Griswold.
00:38:15
Speaker
Alfie, we're going to talk to you about your ah little quiche cooking and your fire safety tomorrow when you come to class. Can you remember that? Can I remember to come to class or that you want to talk about quiche? Oh, you got to understand, Alfie. Apparently, I've got a wrestling match later tonight. I was just going say. but it's I'm probably not going to remember. And it's going to be up to you on Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday to talk about fire safety.
00:38:45
Speaker
Right. I'll definitely remember to remind you to give me a dressing down. Yes, sir. Thinking I also might be dressed like a bear. all right.
00:38:56
Speaker
It's crazy hair day. You know, that's crazy. He heard crazy bear day. So, yes, you're leaving class with burnt hands.
00:39:09
Speaker
I'm going to bump into al aie in the hallway. um healthy hu Oh, hey. What's wrong with your hands? Hey, Janet. Oh, I had a little ah minor egg incident.
00:39:23
Speaker
Egg incident, huh. well yeah we're ah we're about to start the um natural science extra credit. Project so are you good to I have first aid kit my bike actually and if I so we can get some light on your hands or whatever but like are you good to bike ride over to the um Yeah, I should be fine if I put my palms on the handlebars and um try to steer ah Just sort of buy that and I don't curl my fingers around anything I should be totally fine. The nurse set me up good. I've got two band-aids, and she even gave me one half of an aspirin. Okay, yeah, we sound locked and loaded. Wow. We're going to have you guys all bike to the museum. Alpha, you are going to make a grit roll of four just to endure whatever this pain is in your hands.
00:40:17
Speaker
Twelve. Oh, that means I exploded. Hold up so 19. I mean, you feel like, why are you so good at this? Alfie has been doing that thing that a lot of this is weirdly dark.
00:40:35
Speaker
Um... You know when middle schoolers and high schoolers get really into the dark side of things and they're like fire and they just hold their hand above a lighter to see how long they can last?
00:40:50
Speaker
Alfie was doing that almost all summer. And for the first couple of months, yeah, there were tears. There were tears. but not anymore. And actually that might've been why that thing burned down. Cause he just got lost in the glow of that oven. It tracks with the goth thing, you know?
00:41:08
Speaker
Did he ever try to put his hands on like a metal slide that in the middle of the afternoon? Oh, God. Back when he had a slide like in elementary school, ah he was dared to do it.
00:41:21
Speaker
And he for sure did. ah And actually, he. Yeah, one of his palms is just a callus at this point.
00:41:32
Speaker
Oh, God. You know, to the to this day, you can you can still see ah the flayed flesh of my hand on that slide at ah ah Lil Tykes Silver Ridge Elementary School.
00:41:46
Speaker
I'm not saying I'm a hero, but I'm um um'm pretty badass. Speaking of badass, I've been thinking about painting my bike because I like that I have a pink bike. Like, I'm not upset by it.
00:42:00
Speaker
But... But like ah what if I just paint it pink... oh h With polka dots.
00:42:13
Speaker
Just to add something to it. Oh, like a like a Hito's bag. Yeah. Hey, ah Tucker, what's the what's the um slogan for Hito's? Chips. Are they chips are they like pot cheese pop? and I don't know.
00:42:25
Speaker
yeah yeah yeah My heart is going to tell us. yeah We're going to find out. Heather the Hito's hawk says, Hito's! Now in a paper bag.
00:42:36
Speaker
Scrap! They're the Hito's Hawk. I love that. I don't know if it has an American flag bandana in anyone else's mind, but that's kind of where I see that Hawk. I saw it wrapped as a belt.
00:42:48
Speaker
New flavor, flaming hot sour cream. Oh, yum. Yeah. It's shit. Awesome. We are our first product. You guys pull up to the museum. It's an archaeological museum.
The Museum Visit and Cliffhanger
00:43:01
Speaker
Oh, it's just an archaeological museum. It's one room.
00:43:06
Speaker
And you you make your way and you're investigating. You're going to work on this project, but you have a chance to meet with the the head of the thing. and he goes And he looks to all of you. ah Each one of you is looking about in this room. And there's a lot of like fossils, specifically, of ah animals and things like that.
00:43:23
Speaker
ah What kind of animal fossil are you looking at, Ivana? She can't. There's peacock fossil. Correct. What is the historical significance of this peacock fossil? Well, Chad himself was a little bit confused because a peacock, the wings don't have bones in them.
00:43:42
Speaker
So it just looks like a chicken. And so he wasn't sure what he was looking at when it said peacock. So he kept reading the descriptions of all the other ones to see which one finally applied to the shape. How about you, Alfie? What kind of ah animal fossil were you looking at?
00:43:59
Speaker
Alfie's looking at a trilobite. Okay. ah And he he's like, yeah, man, I get it. Evolving was a huge mistake.
00:44:11
Speaker
ah So good on you. Good on you. right. And how about you, Janet? um I'm looking at the same like kind of diorama as Chad. So there's like ah there's like a little fox in the bushes that's like maybe trying to like get the peacock's eggs or something as a part of the little like kind of slice of life.
00:44:29
Speaker
scene they've created there. Love it. So you have these things and you're all looking over and eventually you hear this, ahem, you know, all of those fossils were found in the mountain range where they built that laboratory. And you turn around and you see this older kind of man with big Coke bottle spectacles.
00:44:48
Speaker
He's the one of the major investigators. What was the term I'm looking for for museum? Curator. Curator. He's the curator of the museum. And what's his name?
00:45:00
Speaker
The curator? Yeah. um Stuart. Stuart. Stuart. Justice. Stuart Justice. Nice. Thank you. Cool. Yeah, he he moonlights as a superhero. um Yeah, he's got a little tiny name tag that just says Justice on it.
00:45:19
Speaker
Because, you know, we found all kinds of weird fossilized things when they dug up that original laboratory. When they installed it, I'd say 20, 30 years ago, they found all kinds of unusual archives that they believed some kind of caveman remnants had gathered those animal fossils in specifics.
00:45:41
Speaker
But that's neither here nor there. You've been sent here to do a little bit of a research project for me? For some extra credit? Yeah. um The professor teacher asked us to come and do... he did He actually didn't really give us much guidance, but he was talking about like kind of rare stones and just, you know, maybe... I thought maybe ah you know we could look around and you could tell us about them and the three of us could do a little...
00:46:09
Speaker
yeah You know, little presentation for the class or something like that. i think I heard him say something about rubies in between him ah battering my soul down into the dirt. Chad is not paying a lot of attention to this conversation, but he's half listening and says, Janet, Janet, take a picture for the club.
00:46:26
Speaker
And I'm going to try to step into the display of the peacock and...
00:46:32
Speaker
To try to get a picture. so Chad. Chad. For the club. When we're done, when we're done, let's let's pay attention to the to just Mr. Justice. Okay. Dr. Justice? Professor Justice? Fucking superhero name right there. Justice. And then he thinks for a second, no, Dr. Justice is that weird superhero who lives out in our east. I am simply Professor Justice. Yeah.
00:46:59
Speaker
But that Dr. Justice seems like a really cool man. woman. He goes, ah, I've got a great idea. If you're working with the you're working with ah some rubies, sapphires, and no I can't think of a valuable gemstone that starts with T. No, it's got to be alphabetical. Oh, Alphabetical. Topaz. of Great.
00:47:19
Speaker
Thanks, team. And that's right. You're in history of alphabetical, right? Yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah we're up We're all the way up to R-U-S-A.
00:47:29
Speaker
Oh, very good. Very good. Well, if why don't you guys stay here and I'll see if I can get you get the permission slips to get into the um the valuable minerals. room. Great, great.
00:47:41
Speaker
Why do we need permission to get in? um Because we have valuable metals and joe gemstones and such, and we couldn't possibly let you wander in without some kind of protection and signatures and such.
00:47:55
Speaker
I guess that makes sense. Like with Chad and everything. um Did he say that metals are included? Yeah. Okay, great. It's minerals and metals. Okay, cool. Valuable archaeological discoveries.
00:48:06
Speaker
um And you hear him leave the room and you hear ah just ah you like a little bit of time passes. Chad, Chad, stop. What? Stop climbing into the... Okay, I'll... Okay, fine. But you don't want a picture for the club?
00:48:19
Speaker
One picture. One! ah No, they have picked they have pictures of this online. it's One! Come on. You just don't understand still life photography. Alfie, Alfie, get... Alfie, pretend to be the other pe the pretend to peacock since it's missing from the display.
00:48:37
Speaker
There's a chicken. What do you mean? Oh, the other peacock. listen want Yeah, one picture Janet. One, please. Pretty please. Can I roll for convincing Janet?
00:48:48
Speaker
Yeah, roll charm against Janet's brains. Do I go first? Okay. Yeah, guess. I got a seven. I got a six, but I'm gonna use an adversity token to tie you so our opinion remains the same. I'll compromise with you. Okay, right, Chad, ready?
00:49:05
Speaker
but Yeah! ah make a make Make a peacock noise. Oh! All right, and while Chad says that, I'm going to hold up the camera, pretend to take a photo, and put it down. All of a sudden, you hear some angry voices ah coming from wherever Steward Justice ran off from.
00:49:24
Speaker
ah You hear his voice in the distance, and you hear him fighting, and you hear a lot of you hear something fall and break on the ground, and then you hear a gunshot go off.
00:49:35
Speaker
Oh! Oh, shit. I was not expecting a twist. Justice!
00:49:43
Speaker
Woo! You did it. But most importantly, we did it because this was our first episode ever.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:49:51
Speaker
ah Our cast consists of Tucker Dally Johnston as Alfie Towers, Ivana Mendez as Chad Brewers, Nate Valentine as Janet J.C. Cromwell, and the ever-illustrious Paul Emmerich as our Game Master.
00:50:07
Speaker
That banging music you just heard provided by Rebel Kicks. Follow us at at BeatOurQuest or email us at BeatOurQuest at gmail.com.
00:50:18
Speaker
You know, if you want to send unsolicited pictures or something, please don't do that. If you like this at all, please leave us a review and be sure to subscribe wherever you found us. Thanks again for listening.