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Season 1 Episode 16: Coming Home Game
10 Plays4 hours ago
The final episode of our Kids on Bikes Campaign. The players reminisce about what they learned and maybe something they forgot to do....
This is a fully improvised TTRPG campaign using the Kids on Bikes system where we test the limits on how much flexibility our players can have.
Starring:
- Tucker Dally Johnston as 'Alfie Towers'
- Ivana Mendez as 'Chad Brewers'
- Nate Valentine as 'Janet JC. Cromwell'
- Paul Emrich as 'Game Master'.
- Music provided by 'Rebel Kicks'.
Email us at BeatOurQuest@Gmail.com or find us on most social media @BeatOurQuest.
Join our Discord at: https://discord.gg/3GAJ8NPvvF
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Beat Our Quest' Podcast
00:00:11
Speaker
This is Beat Our Quest, an improvised comedy role-playing podcast using the Kids on Bikes system. And even though you can't see us, we are all wearing our helmets.
00:00:23
Speaker
Ivana Maria Mendez Bubble as Chad Boers. Tucker Dally Johnston as Alfie Towers. Nate Valentine as Janet Cromwell.
Bizarre Events Unfold
00:00:39
Speaker
It has been a very stressful week for our, a couple of weeks for our players. It all started in their history of alphabetical studies. And very quickly they witnessed a murder. They discovered a whole sinister robotic evil system. And actually aliens are in charge. Aliens exist. They have superpowers now.
00:01:00
Speaker
Robots are taking over. Uh, trying to kidnap people and take over their minds. They go to a house party and there's all kinds of crazy alien endeavors. Each one of you has really been trying to process and break down all these crazy things that have happened to you over just the last two weeks.
Alien Abduction Memory
00:01:18
Speaker
We find ourselves in Janet's kitchen.
00:01:23
Speaker
across from her little sister, Jeannie, and they're making breakfast. Janet, over the last couple of weeks, what is one of the biggest things that kind of sticks out to you in your mind? Like memories?
00:01:34
Speaker
um Probably being abducted by aliens and going through ah very trying trials to sort of ascend to have superpowers in a superpowered fanny pack, which I love.
00:01:50
Speaker
ah But yeah, that whole part was probably the craziest for me. As you're yeah you're reminiscing about this, you realize that the um the pancakes that you're making for you and your little sister have started to burn on one side. And you're snapped out of it when Jeannie goes, Janet, do you think there's such a thing as aliens? What? how to Why would you ask me that?
00:02:09
Speaker
um We're doing a thing on school about outer space and we've been researching it and I'm supposed to go to the big science building. um Do you think aliens are real? No.
00:02:20
Speaker
Oh my God. No. Aliens aren't real and you shouldn't go there. um You know what? I'm actually, I'm going to, I'm going to talk to your professor, your teacher, professor, teacher, um We don't have a professor. aliens Aliens are not real. Don't be such a silly kid, okay?
00:02:38
Speaker
Stop talking about that. Stop asking questions about aliens. Okay. I'm sorry. That's okay. Here, have this shitty burnt pancake. Yeah, I burnt this pancake. um I'm going to have to make you a fresh one. I'm sorry, but the bacon's ready. Here. but she um ah She takes that and goes, Hey, Janet.
00:03:01
Speaker
I heard from in school that in the boys' bathroom, they just pee in a giant trough. Is that true? um No, boys' bathrooms are exactly like girls' bathrooms. There's no difference between boys and girls.
00:03:14
Speaker
Weird. I'll tell them he's a liar today at school. i okay we're move a look um Alfie.
Alfie's Wetness and Alien Crush
00:03:24
Speaker
Yes.
00:03:25
Speaker
You are um you are taking the same bike route you took to school the last time. And the thoughts are racing through your mind. You've had a very interesting couple of weeks. What do you think is on the forefront of Alfie's mind um as he's traveling into school?
00:03:41
Speaker
He is just trying to figure out what in the hell he did wrong that he can't seem to stay dry ever. this decision And just every time he meets someone new, he is always somehow wet.
00:04:00
Speaker
His superpowers involve being wet again. And he's just wondering if if he will always be an awkward, weird, wet boy ah who is still has very confused feelings for a maybe evil alien who's probably thousands of years old but looks like a 14-year-old. You are.
00:04:29
Speaker
biking along, and you see a bus coming by, and you have this moment of instinct, and you see this puddle is going to splash you. Can you make a flight roll of three to avoid getting movie splashed by the bus?
00:04:41
Speaker
Five plus one, six. As you roll this, you feel stronger, Alfie. You feel more competent and more capable than you've ever been. As you watch this wave of water splash behind you, and you pedal a little harder.
00:04:56
Speaker
Each one of our players is leveled up. oh That means you get to pick one of your die and ratchet it up to the next tier to permanently use. You also get to add a flat plus one modifier to any of your six stats. You can add that to one of the stats that you already have that modifier on if you want.
00:05:16
Speaker
So you could have a plus two brains or whatever you had that initially in, Janet.
Chad's Embarrassing Distraction
00:05:20
Speaker
Chad, you're at the school already because today today, after that big homecoming party, is the big homecoming game.
00:05:28
Speaker
Yeah. So you're there at the field. What is something that you have been thinking about, Chad? um Like, what's something that you've, you know, you've made some new friends. You've been used to the football team. What's a really core memory you've made with your new friends?
00:05:43
Speaker
Well, normally i try to stay positive, but I'm just really embarrassed that my friends saw me eat it when that weakling child just, like, bit me.
00:05:57
Speaker
It was really embarrassing. Like, I'm usually really strong, and that's the side of me they're they're used to seeing. But, like, seeing me literally bleed, it was just crushing. It kind of hurt me a little bit.
00:06:13
Speaker
I don't want that to ever happen again. So if I'm around that kid, I might wear a neck brace. ah Chad, the one thing, you know, that stress of getting bitten was probably really difficult.
00:06:24
Speaker
As you are out there throwing passes, warming up, and you see Alfie coming in from a distance, kind of getting ready, getting his jersey on. Alfie, you're struggling to get all dressed up. You remember something. You met Alfie in the history of alphabets class, right? Or a bit of alphabetical studies. And it dawns on you.
00:06:43
Speaker
oh yeah. You were supposed to do that extra credit assignment. That's the reason you know Alfie. That's the reason you know Janet. That's where you were sent that first day. That's what you had been sent to do earlier this week.
00:06:57
Speaker
And you never did that extra credit.
00:07:02
Speaker
You look up and you see Professor Teacher walking across the field to go talk to your dad.
00:07:13
Speaker
I'm going to take my clothes off and run through the field. I'm sorry, naked? Yes, it's a distraction, and Chad panicked. And that is the best distraction he can think of. They think you're doing poorly in school? Take this.
00:07:30
Speaker
I run directly to the locker great. With clothing or without? Without. Okay, great. So you strip naked on the field. Okay, my my bo my underwear is on. Like, I'm not fully, fully. Yeah, the into your jock strap and and whatnot. And you hear meba Meatball muttering to himself like, oh, wait, Chad, no. No, Chad, stop. Don't. What is it? No.
00:07:54
Speaker
And you run and you make it to the locker room.
Forgotten Assignment Mishap
00:07:56
Speaker
Your dad sees this happen and starts to go and then is in mid-conversation, so you're not going to catch it. Janet, you've made it to the school. You dropped off your sister.
00:08:05
Speaker
um And you see Alfie coming in having witnessed this. Sorry, Alfie has witnessed it or I have? Alfie, you kind of, because you're going be cheering for the game and you come into school early. You're there to support your friends. So you come in, you see Alfie.
00:08:18
Speaker
You and Alfie have both witnessed Chad strip and panic and run. What got into him this time, Alfie? What's he doing? um I don't know. i I don't know all of Chad's um pre-game rituals, but I don't think I've ever seen that one before.
00:08:35
Speaker
um But maybe it's a new thing he's doing. Actually, he kind of got a little panicked when Professor Teacher came over to to coach. Oh.
00:08:47
Speaker
Maybe we should check on him just to make sure it's not, you know, related to... his fanny pack, and I'm like elbowing him really unsubtly. Oh, we should. Wait, you can't go in the, you can't go in the chenry. You can't do that. You can't go there. You can't go in there. No, okay, I'm not going in the boys' bathroom, trust me.
00:09:06
Speaker
But maybe you could just go check on him or have him come out if he's okay and dressed. Yeah, I'll go check on him. i'll go I'll go check on him. I don't like going in there myself, but I'll go check on him.
00:09:17
Speaker
You definitely can't go in there. I mean, it's the same as girls' bathrooms, but you definitely can't go in there. Nice. Yeah, i'll I'll just wait right outside. I go to the locker room, um and I don't want to see Chad, so I'm going to kind of call from the doorway.
00:09:34
Speaker
Chad? Wait! Alfie, get in here! Alfie, you need to come right now! Oh, okay. I'm going to close my eyes and blindly stumble into...
00:09:48
Speaker
very, very high school. Like, well what what's going on, Chad? we eat You freaked out? Offey, I'm right here. Offey, look at me.
00:09:59
Speaker
Look at Offey. I'm right here. I don't. Okay. I'm going to peek my finger, my eyes through my fingers. Chad is sitting on a bench, um wiping a single tear and sniffling.
00:10:14
Speaker
Are you still in your underwear? I didn't have time to change. Yeah, of course I'm still in my underwear. I'm in the locker room. It's proper, Alfie. what Chad, what's wrong? Also, why was it so important for me to physically look at you right now?
00:10:30
Speaker
Well, because you give me confidence. And so I just needed to look at you in the eyes and feel a little bit more confident. How ah can that possibly be true, Chad?
00:10:44
Speaker
Listen, what's going on? Don't cry. Please, God, don't cry. I don't know how to deal with any of that. don't if I can hold it back. Okay, ah you can cry. I don't want to tell you not to cry. You can cry if you need to. You can cry. Could we maybe put some pants on while we cry? love you.
00:11:02
Speaker
You don't have any other pants? They're just outside. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. Oh, I guess we could go through some of the lockers and find some pants. You don't have any other... You didn't have a change of clothes in here? That's okay. We don't have to... Let's not steal other people's pants. Let's maybe just wrap a towel around you.
00:11:20
Speaker
Hey, Alfie, how's it going in there? Not great! Oh, Janet! Janet, you need to come in here! Janet can't come in... Oh, God. Oh. Sorry, it's the boys' room. I really wish I could. um Okay, but just put a cup on the door or something so you can listen in.
00:11:40
Speaker
Wrong cup. ah Chad, what's going on? I forgot. Alfie, forgot. No, what?
00:11:50
Speaker
My extra credit. What is it? I think we all forgot the- No, Reese! Oh, I know, but like, none of you depended on it. You're both just so smart and so charismatic. What? And my- just some- just really good friends.
00:12:08
Speaker
And I've let you down. i let my dad down. I let- I don't- I don't- can't play tonight. Can't play tonight, not like this. Well, I... I think you can.
00:12:21
Speaker
I think you can. I feel like there were some maybe extenuating circumstances.
00:12:28
Speaker
You know what I mean? That we can't tell anyone! That's what Janet said! Right, right. We... we can make up other extenuating circumstances that don't involve, um, replacement murdered, uh, uh...
00:12:45
Speaker
Docents. Docents? That sounds right. So, so lie? Um, uh, not, yeah, not really a lie. Just like a, just a good story that doesn't get anyone else in trouble or, you know, lets other people know we're part of an intergalactic ah space cop program. You know what i mean? You know what i mean, Chad?
00:13:12
Speaker
I knew I needed your confidence. Thank you, Alfie. You're so welcome. Let's get a towel on you and get you back out to your pants. We can loop Janet in on this whole thing.
Heart and Hand Corporation's Secrets
00:13:22
Speaker
um She's been listening in from the cup, remember? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure she had time to go get a cup.
00:13:31
Speaker
Hard no I did not do that. I'm just standing outside waiting for you guys. I was going to take another opportunity yell in. All right. Chad is going to just open a locker and grab pants that are there. Put them on. um And then there a shirt from the other locker.
00:13:52
Speaker
It's all fine. You've got clothing. You're good. Cool. Great. Excellent. You make your way out and you see your dad, Coach, um and he's kind of got his arms crossed and he's staring at you guys from a distance. But Janet is the first one you see as you step out.
00:14:09
Speaker
I give Janet a huge hug. Thank you so much You're welcome. Why are you wearing a pink seasoning women's band shirt?
00:14:23
Speaker
Pink seasonings. I got this. Got it. Oh. Ivana knows. Well... Meatball really loves them. And so I just took some stuff from his locker. So it was the only thing that was clean in there and didn't smell like spaghetti.
00:14:43
Speaker
Anyways. Okay. What's going on, guys? What's what's going on, Chad? Alfie, tell her I don't have the heart. um I, Chad, just remembered that we didn't do the extra credit that we were going to do because of the murder.
00:14:58
Speaker
um And he was freaking out about that. um I don't know why the clothes came off, but Chad, your dad is given that that coach stare, so you might need to um you might need to go talk to him.
00:15:12
Speaker
or I can stay right here. Hey, why don't we go together? And, you know, professor, professor teacher, obviously we have a good relationship. I'm a straight A student.
00:15:24
Speaker
Let's see if we can't get an extension or something. We all go talk to him. We all go chat. How long has it been since this extra credit was due, Paul? Roughly? um It was due before the homecoming game because you'd already went to go talk to him to say like, hey, we'll do something.
00:15:43
Speaker
And then you guys didn't. So this is our second time asking for homecoming. But homecoming game is tonight. so we see It hasn't happened yet.
00:15:55
Speaker
There's still time. There's still time. Oh, so it has to be done by tonight. Okay. I mean, I i guess. I hadn't thought about that. Way to procrastinate like a champ. what's let's Let's go talk to Professor Teacher real quick and make sure he's not like mad at us, because we'll just, you know, we'll get it.
00:16:15
Speaker
Well, what did he say to Coach? Okay. Are they both still together as Coach and Professor Teacher there, or have they... Uh, it's just coach, so I don't have to do two characters. Let's go talk to coach. Uh, Chad.
00:16:28
Speaker
Chad's gonna look down. Professor Teacher said that you're a little behind on your studies, and he'd given you some opportunity to do some extra credit, and you didn't do it? Well... Well... Well, technically, it's not due until later today, Father.
00:16:49
Speaker
Well, so you're almost done with it. Yup. We, yup. We sure are coach. yeahre We're on top of it. Uh, uh, you know, we've been, we've been working real hard, you know, I basically just was like, uh, I have a, a personal computer in, in my, in my, in the library and I was using it just to use ah a word processing program to edit it. And, and so, um, it's kind of my fault, uh, cause you know, I'm a perfectionist and, You know, just have to have it exactly perfect. So we're definitely, definitely going to have it handed in before the homecoming game tonight.
00:17:28
Speaker
good Well, you know, Janet, I appreciate that because I knew I had faith in you three. Chad, I told Professor Teacher he was stupid. do You said that to Professor Teacher?
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah, told Professor Teacher he was stupid. He was like, you can't talk to me that way. I'm a... Oh, man, how do I do a southern accent impersonation of that character? You don't know me about that way. i'm a tall be done we I don't know. I can't do it. I can't do his voice.
00:17:55
Speaker
and Your impersonations are getting so much better. yeah I've got 10 minutes down if the comedy works. Yeah, my dad's the one who inspired me to get on stage. ah Yeah.
00:18:10
Speaker
Anyways, we probably should really go finish editing that paper that we've already researched and written. Right, guys? Yes, definitely written. all right. ah Bye, coach. And I'm going to just turn and we're going to start running to our BC Kletus.
00:18:27
Speaker
Great. ah You this is an interesting change of the way this is going to work. So you guys are going to go to the library. but want to be clear. I was lying through my teeth. We haven't done anything.
00:18:38
Speaker
I will give you guys each are going to make a brains roll. ah um These brains rolls are going to come in three tiers. You can get above a five. You can get above a ten. And if you get any higher, then i will give you some kind of a bonus.
00:18:54
Speaker
After this, you guys, depending on what you rolled, I'm going to give you a little bit of information about the Hardening Incorporation. You guys are then going to each get to improvise sections of a presentation.
00:19:10
Speaker
And that will be independent. If you guys do well enough, Chad will get to perform in the homecoming game. Yeah. Does that see me roll a 20 with this one, guys?
00:19:21
Speaker
If you you told me 20 years ago i was going to spend my free time giving unprepared class presentations as a form of entertainment, I wouldn't have believed you.
00:19:38
Speaker
Some of us have been practicing for this moment their entire life. it's look at the um Great. So, who would like to roll first? I already did.
00:19:50
Speaker
I already did, too.
00:19:54
Speaker
Me. Go for it. Okay. That's one. I'm sorry. Two. This tracks. Chad, you know nothing. okay the thats one i'm sorry ah two this track yeah chad you know nothing you're not going to get any information.
00:20:16
Speaker
Alfie, what did you roll? Alfie rolled a 12. Great. um I'm going to give you a pretty, you're to have a pretty decent template of any information you want about the heart and hand. you're You're quick enough to be able to be like, oh, you've maybe been on a computer and whatnot, and you can look up enough stuff.
00:20:32
Speaker
Janet. I exploded and rolled 23. Holy shit. I am the CEO of Heart in Hand. Okay. So here's how this is going to go.
00:20:44
Speaker
You guys are going to nail this presentation. You completely smoke it. I am going to give you a ton of information about the Heart in Hand present Corporation as though it was Janet narrating the presentation.
00:20:58
Speaker
Does that make sense? I will. Yeah. You are, you are going to ace this precedent. You don't even have to bullshit. i like I gave you guys a threshold of pass and you did it. So you're going to, you basically, I'm going to offload a bunch of information about the heart and hand corporation. I'm going to let you guys react to it in time.
00:21:18
Speaker
Okay. Does that make sense? Sure. Great. I'll take notes. Um, The Heart and Hand Corporation was a company that was founded right after the Silver Rush in Colorado.
00:21:32
Speaker
And the company was primarily focused in radio wave technology, which is a way to communicate. entered And ideally, what you realize is intergalactically or and interstellar.
00:21:44
Speaker
They found some kind of a... They found the crashed ship. They were the ones who funded the research lab to be built on top of the crashed ship.
00:21:57
Speaker
And they basically started funding, you know, radio wave technology. So one of the first things that they they funded would have been some kind of ah intergalactic communication kind of methods and stuff like that. The other big thing that you realize that they're in charge of is psychic communication as well.
00:22:18
Speaker
They're really big into... What is that called? ah What is it called? Viewing? Astral projection? What is the viewing... No, like astral viewing. the The idea of like psychically communicating with things that are far away. and um So all the like the bullshit stuff that they produce um all the is just garbage that they use to fund all the weird sciencey stuff.
00:22:43
Speaker
um you Eventually you guys piece it together. You find a bunch of weird old photos from the 60s and 70s and you see the same faceless man. The person has been chasing you guys at various events. That beat seems to be some kind of an agent or perset persons who work for the Heart and Hand Corporation.
00:23:03
Speaker
And the last thing you find, the current head of the Heart and Hand Corporation is a woman by the name Marie Malkian.
00:23:15
Speaker
Now that name doesn't mean anything to Alfie and Janet. But Chad, when you hear the name Marie Malkian, your heart stops. Marie Malkian is your mother.
00:23:30
Speaker
Oh, she... Who you thought had abandoned your family a long time ago. And it turns out she's running this corporation.
00:23:40
Speaker
What the fuck? So, bonus points, you got an A-plus on the paper. Good job. But I'm gonna let you guys... Yeah, I mean, that's on you, Chad. don't know how you handle that. this is yeah ah This is just a ah technical question here.
00:23:59
Speaker
So did potentially, hypothetically, let's say, because Chad was here when we were forming the presentation, Was the name of the CEO maybe like a piece of lore that only Janet knew and didn't mention until we gave the presentation? Is this a reaction in the room?
00:24:21
Speaker
Okay, perfect. Yeah, let's say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll we'll be in the moment in the room. So, Janet, um you use those words. ah like and the And the current head of da-da-da-da is Marie Malkian.
00:24:36
Speaker
Janet, can you say that name one more time? Marie Malkian. Yes, Marie Malkian. Janet, that can't be right. Oh, it's definitely right. I just read it um never read it the other night in the library. The other night when we were working on this before from before today. From before today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah Marie Malkian. Yeah, she's the she's the head of Heart and Hand.
00:25:00
Speaker
It's on the slide right there. Does anyone have any questions about our presentation? No questions. No questions at all. We are done. Thank you so much. That was fantastic. Grand applause. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:11
Speaker
We need to talk outside Wait, wait. Oh, I love Q&A, though. I think we better do what Chad says, or he'll take his clothes off and run away again. Oh, I'll put more clothes on, and I'll become a giant ball and roll around.
00:25:29
Speaker
Outside. Now, Janet. ah Thank you, Professor Teacher. all right i want I am going to peek my head into the room as I get dragged out and say, if anyone has any questions, just come up to me after class. I'd be happy to talk more about it. Janet! And then I get yanked out.
00:25:43
Speaker
Chad's going to put his hand out and like pull her out of the frame. Yeah. Stop.
00:25:50
Speaker
yeah
00:25:55
Speaker
person that you just said. Marie Malkian? Yeah, Marie Malkian. Stop. Yeah, but we know her name. That's my mom. What? what That is literally, and Chad is going to take out a little locket he's only he always wears, um and open it and show a picture of Marie Malkian who is right there next to Coach in his locket.
00:26:25
Speaker
That's my mom. That's the CEO of the Head and Heart Corporation. Heart and Hand Corporation. That's your mom? She's in the picture. That was the same picture.
00:26:37
Speaker
It's the same person with the same name. They look the same. And do you, does your dad ever still talk to her? No, she left us when I was six. I don't remember anything about her. She wasn't even there for that incident when I swallowed the marbles. You know, she hasn't been there for any part of my life.
00:26:58
Speaker
Um, yeah, I mean, this is, geez. So do you like want to talk to her? Do you have a forwarding address?
00:27:14
Speaker
i'll see No, I don't. I haven't talked to her in How old Wait. 11? 10 to 11 years, because I'm unsure of my age. Brains 4. ten to eleven years as i want her of my age brains for Well, I mean, it wouldn't be that hard to get in touch with her, right? She's, I mean, that heart and hand corporation headquarters is right in town.
00:27:38
Speaker
She's got to be there. If she has been here this whole time, she doesn't want to see me, Janet. And if she doesn't want to see me, I don't want to see her because I'm stronger. But we do, ah we kind of have some questions and.
00:27:52
Speaker
Yeah, we need us here because of all the weird stuff they've been doing in Colorado. Yeah, but she can't see me. But that's our... That might be... yeah I don't want to sound indelicate, but that might be our in, like, hey, it's your long-lost son. Here he is, and his very good friends. And now we're now we're here in your place of work. It's bring your kid and his friends to work day. And then we go, you...
00:28:19
Speaker
you Why are you doing those bad things? And what did you do to to justice? And what do you know about aliens? And also stop it. And also be a better mom. We can do all those things. if If it makes you feel any better, you could stand guard outside and you wouldn't have to talk to her.
00:28:41
Speaker
But I do think it would be really helpful if you came with us at least to to get in the door. stupid but If we go, we have to go prepared. Okay, how?
00:28:52
Speaker
Say more. What else do we need to be prepared with? We need wigs. No. Wait. God damn it. Great.
00:29:03
Speaker
Great. We we have... Facial hair?
00:29:08
Speaker
Like the stick on one. I think we're still gonna look- I'm i'm not gonna do that, but you guys can do that if you want. think we're still gonna look like teenagers no matter what we wear. yes Well, that's you, Alfie. Me, I'm, you know, I can rock a little must. A little must? A little molu must? little must? must? Rock a must? That's what we call it now. Must. Us cool 90s kids.
00:29:29
Speaker
Growing out my must. Oh, stop saying it. It's getting worse. must? You really got to hit that team growing up the bus. We must brah.
00:29:41
Speaker
Okay. So wigs and glue on facial hair for the boys. Do we need anything else? Chad? Yeah. Hope. me Hope?
00:29:51
Speaker
we can We can do that. I'm ready with that. we If she hasn't seen you in 10 to 11 however many years, because we don't know how old you are, um would would she, I don't want to sound indelicate again, but would she recognize you anyway?
00:30:07
Speaker
Oh my god. See, did you see the picture? I look just like her. We have the same nose. Oh, yeah.
00:30:18
Speaker
right, so we'll make sure that you have a fake wig and a fake must. We nose! ah At this point, it sounds like you just want to wear a Halloween mask.
00:30:33
Speaker
It's not a bad idea. alie Well, it's not a bad idea. yeah it is such a bad idea. Alfie, I mean, Alfie has friends in like the theater. you have theater friends, right? You can probably get us all that stuff. What? You two are literally the only friends I have.
00:30:50
Speaker
But you do, uh, you do, like, the the video lighting nerd stuff for the theater. what how The what? How dare you? I, sure. we We talked to, I can't remember his name, who made us theater. Oh, God, it was something insane. he There's a guy who made us the costumes for the Beaver Babies. Oh, it's like Boopsy or something really dumb, too.
00:31:17
Speaker
Yeah, you could talk to Boopsy. Let's go with it He sometimes goes by Boopsie. You could talk to that guy. He sometimes goes by Boopsie. Yeah. Um...
00:31:28
Speaker
Yeah, so so we'll get we'll get a fake nose for Chad and really good costumes for the rest of us, and we'll go... Why do we need costumes? What is the plan that we're going in there with? Why is this your guys' answer to everything? yeah Well, you know, ay I want to do whatever makes Chad comfortable because this is kind of a crazy...
00:31:55
Speaker
curveball you know if it were you know if it were me i wouldn't know what to do either so if you need to put on a fake nose to go talk to your mom we uh want you to have that fake nose Does it sound crazy when you say it out loud, Nate?
00:32:10
Speaker
No, no. it sounds like a really smart plan. But don't we need her to believe that Chad's coming to talk to her as our in? She's not just going to talk to three kids, one of them. Alfie, Alfie, Alfie. I'm going to kind of box Alfie and be talking to some Alfie. Let's just make Chad happy for now and we'll figure that out when we get there, okay?
00:32:33
Speaker
Okay, we can do I can do that. I can i can do that. you've I mean, he went streaking two hours ago because he thought he was going to fail a class. That's true. Let's just make him happy. Sometimes I just talk too much. I get it. I'm sorry. I won't i won't i won't bring it up. No, no, no. it's just it just I won't mention his estranged mother anymore in front of him anymore right now. if If we go to girly-swirly's, he's going to forget about the nose. So it's like we just don't have to overthink it.
00:32:59
Speaker
Chad, you want ice cream? Chad's going to turn around. He's been looking the other way. And just ah you see that he drew on a unibrow with his Sharpie. What about this look? Do you like this? Is this good?
00:33:11
Speaker
You know what, Chad? That actually might be so good that we don't need the nose and the fake wig. the Fake nose and the wig. Can you recognize me? Do you see me and you say Chad or do you see me and you say Chad-o? This is Chad-o.
00:33:26
Speaker
ah Yeah, that's good. You you should all eat you you do as much Chad-o-ing as you want. um It's a nice ah brow must that you've made for yourself.
00:33:38
Speaker
um And i ah you know I think, you know, were we planning on going today right now? Because we still have some time. Is that permanent marker? Um, it it's, yeah, sweet it is we
00:33:56
Speaker
it is. ah Cut to shortly, and just a few hours later, it's the fourth quarter of the homecoming game and the score is tied.
Tense Homecoming Game and Alfie's Heroism
00:34:08
Speaker
You're in a huddle. Chad, you've got this mustache still on And the Sharpie unibrow.
00:34:15
Speaker
Excellent. There's only 30 seconds left. You've got time for one big play. We're going to have you and Alfie each make a flight, ah some kind of a role, depending on what you want to do for the play.
00:34:29
Speaker
Janet, you know what you're going to have to do. Yes. Oh, goddammit. Okay. um I don't want to be that that rules lawyer guy, but I do have it in my notes that I have a minus four to the homecoming game. Correct. Minus four?
00:34:46
Speaker
will Someone remind me why that's from. And actually, I'm going to really hate to break it to you. Chad, you haven't been playing well this game, and that's because you hurt your hands last night at the party from the chaperone.
00:34:58
Speaker
So you're going to be rolling with disadvantage. Oh. oh wow So I'm an emotional turmoil. Of course I'm rolling with disadvantage. Okay, double disadvantage. Have it. I'm a mess. You're going to be rolling this with disadvantage on this, okay?
00:35:14
Speaker
Duh. And you're going to be rolling against me. so So we're going to just make this one play at a time and we're going to see how this goes until things break down. Janet, at any point in time, you can use your cheerleader chant as a bardic inspiration for add a D8 to anybody's roll.
00:35:31
Speaker
Ooh, but you have to then do your cheerleader chance. So the longer they go without needing it, the more effective it's the less pressure you're going to be under. So I'm going to just start narrating things. And until something happens where you're going to be stressed out, you don't have to worry about it.
00:35:45
Speaker
Ready? All right. I got it. I got like three locked and loaded. Go ahead. You're good. Chad, the balls hike to you. You have the ball. You feel a little bit of pain in your fingers right out the gate. You need to make a grit roll of two.
00:35:57
Speaker
Remember, everything you do is a disadvantage. Okay. Yeah, i understand. That means I roll twice and then I pick the worst one. Okay. one That's a three. great you have You feel the pain in your fingers, but it's you're going to be okay. You hold the ball tight. Alfie, you start running. The hardest you've ever run. This is going to be a deep Hail Mary, and Chad has a lot of faith in you. You need to make a flight roll of six. Now, here's how your numbers are going to work. You get minus four that you're going to be able to allocate through however you want. But by the end of this game, you have to have used those minus four. Does that make sense? Oh, thank God. Okay. So, like, if you get to the end of the game and didn't use it,
00:36:38
Speaker
Doesn't matter. So what did You need to roll for flight? ah Sorry. Six. Okay. What'd you roll? And I just got... Four plus one for five. I've got one adversity token. I'm going to use that to get me to my six, and I'm not going to use any of my minus four right now. Great. You blast past a guy. You're running along. I have plays for each of you. Each are going to have to do a certain number of things. We're going to find out if you use your things out. Chad, you're looking.
00:37:06
Speaker
You've got a pretty good sense of the the the field. Somebody's coming at you. They're diving. What do you want to do to stop this tackle? are you going to try to dodge him, or are you going fight him off? <unk>m gonna fight him off with rage. going to make a brawn roll of six. That is a nine. You beat it.
00:37:24
Speaker
Describe how you knock this guy off as he's tackling or you and where he hits you. um So... You know what? can I can't use other properties, can I? can't Well, they're not referencing it. Well, I am referencing it. Okay.
00:37:41
Speaker
So if I were to fall into chemical radiation and then when I get angry, I get big in a different color. And potentially my clothes don't fit because I'm getting bigger. So that is the kind of rage that Chad uses. The same rage that that hypothetical creature would have when the shirts are bursting off their body.
00:38:05
Speaker
right it is she Is she talking about... The infamous bulk. Technically is a reference to something else. Infraggable crunk. I don't know. There's a lot. It's a lot. It's deep. We're gonna we're not going to stress out about it. Great. you do The guy grabs you and you basically bounces right off your body as he hits into you. Alfie, this is your shot. It's a clear field. You're going to run as hard as you possibly can.
00:38:29
Speaker
You need to beat a flight roll of four to break away. Sorry, before before that, I am going to hit them with a classic when Chad makes that and just say, Chad... You're only going get one of these. Do want to save it for... Oh, what am I being graded on?
00:38:43
Speaker
or or What is this doing? It's your bardic inspiration that you're go to throw to somebody when they fail their roll. Okay, great. Then yeah, I'll wait. Well, here's the thing. I rolled a two on my flight, so it's a three.
00:38:57
Speaker
And I think...
00:39:00
Speaker
i'm goingnna take all I'm going to take minus three from this, so it's a full... Can I go down to zero or do I have to go down to one? ah You could. Are you going to have faith that ah that ah Janet is going to be able to boost you up?
00:39:15
Speaker
No, it's more like if this one fails, that's it's okay and it makes it easier on on other things later. and maybe it's Great. All right, let's pray. Janet, do you want to give us your cheer?
00:39:26
Speaker
rights Well, I guess the idea is that he's he's like tanking this play to... He's failing this play on purpose, yeah. So no, I'm not going to cheer for him getting sacked or whatever. And you trip.
00:39:39
Speaker
Yeah. And fall to the ground. Mud sprays up all over you. It's been raining all day. You scramble, you scramble. Chad, you see Alfie is down, but he's close to the end zone.
00:39:52
Speaker
You're going to make this pass. What is it? Brawn? Brawn, I think, would be the best example. You need to make Brawn roll of eight to try to hit Alfie when he's down.
00:40:05
Speaker
At a disadvantage. Of course. i didn't i didn't do it. i did the opposite of good. What did roll?
00:40:16
Speaker
A one! A one! I rolled a one. but In a d20, I rolled a one. It was the most critical of failures. I'm not even going to do my second roll because there's no zero I can hit.
00:40:29
Speaker
So is this like a, if she loses this, we lose the game and I should just use my cheer or should Yeah. Okay. Yeah. if You got to hit this. Chad, Chad, score touchdown. Turn our frowns upside down. Go Chad. Nice.
00:40:47
Speaker
and it's well to go that's why That's my cheer. Roll that D8. Let's see if you can 7 and 8. Oh, D8. keep the game into play. 3. Chad, you throw the ball.
00:40:59
Speaker
it fly i Wait, I have i have ah things I can use to boost my score if i'm getting added 3 to it. Oh, I could also use adversity. You get a plus 3 no matter what, Chad. you have um It's a sports thing.
00:41:13
Speaker
So that was 1. What are we looking at on clearing this? 8, right? And she has a six right now? Four technically because it was the what the one plus my three in sports. So that's four. Right.
00:41:27
Speaker
Plus my three is seven. And I can add an adversity token. Eight. You hit Alfie square in the hands. He's lying in the mud, having broken away and taught the ball. Alfie, technically, nobody's touched you. You kind of come to after you're having landed, and you look up and you see the ball Chad has miraculously thrown in your hands.
00:41:46
Speaker
This is it. This is your chance to break away and escape. There's a guy coming up behind you. You get to your feet. What's your plan to stop him from tackling you? Uh... Uh... I want to...
00:42:02
Speaker
growl at him. Let me use my grit. I would say your grit might be you you try to just endure any tackle and you just charge forward. Just...
00:42:14
Speaker
I enjoy the tackle and charge for it. While also growling. Sorry, not Daenerys. I don't think you're going to growl. ah You're not a lion roaring at him and scaring him away. um You could be. You could be a... Whatchamacallit?
00:42:27
Speaker
Crab. Alfie, you're just going to try to run it. You're just going to try to make it. This guy gets up, and he throws his whole body at you, trying to take you to the ground. Alfie, what's your grip?
00:42:39
Speaker
Alfie needs you to roll a 10 or higher. Oh, That's 17. I will use my last remaining minus one to take it down to a 16. I forgot you had to get rid of Alfie, you just grind as you feel this guy holding your waist. What are you saying to yourself as he's grabbing it what do you? What are you saying to yourself as you're growling and you're yelling? Or what are you saying as you try to you grunt and push your way into the end zone? This is for Chad's mental well-being!
00:43:11
Speaker
um You do it. You get there. You slam the ball. Everyone screams. You look up, Alfie, and the stands are all chanting your name. They're all going, Alfie, Alfie, Alfie, Alfie. Oh, no. You've never felt anything like this. i don't think you've ever felt like a hero. This is that kind of moment I mentioned weeks ago where it was, this is what it feels like for people to be rooting for you.
00:43:40
Speaker
Not with you. They are cheering for your success. And you look through the stands and you see everyone's families and cheering and you realize that despite the success, it's a little hollow.
00:43:56
Speaker
You don't have anyone to share it with. You know, Chad's dad is there cheering. Janet's got her little sisters probably there watching her cheer for the big game. um But it's probably a little tough To realize that your dad's not there and Mr. Gibbons, while friendly, is probably taking care of the house.
00:44:15
Speaker
ah And you scan the horizon and you see Jackie Swanch is in the stands and she's cheering and she's got a little tiny a placard, like a little tiny like fan kind of flag that says towers on it.
00:44:30
Speaker
ah Oh, no. Wait, no. What about Janet's trauma? We both got hit with trauma.
00:44:46
Speaker
And that was our season finale for our Beat Our Quest Kids on Bikes campaign. Again, I really want to thank the Rebel Kicks for giving us permission to use their music for our intro and outro song. They have a great new single that just came out. You should check it out on Spotify or wherever you listen to music.
00:45:04
Speaker
As always, I want to thank anyone who's been listening to this series, participating on our Discord, leaving us some of the wonderful reviews on the iTunes service or Spotify. It's just kind of nice to get any kind of feedback in any kind of way. I said previously, we'll be doing a talkback or the after-school special in the beginning of next year. Just all of us sitting around talking about what it was like to be a part of this experience. It's a new format for all of us as improv actors and comedians. But, you know, maybe we can move on and try something different like I've mentioned we're going to be moving on to the triangle agency system which is a very fun sort of corporate dystopian superpower kind of campaign think Umbrella Academy mixed with severance
00:45:50
Speaker
I just also really want to thank all three of my actors for their fantastic work this season. Nate Valentine is Janet Cromwell, Tucker Dally Johnson is Alfie Towers and Ivana Maria Mendez-Pabon as Chad Brewers.
00:46:01
Speaker
This has been a really cathartic and interesting experience for me. Just a creative outlet in my life. I've been learning to do all this editing on the side as well as, you know, producing a podcast. So I just want to thank you all for any kind of support anyone has given me in any other way.
00:46:16
Speaker
Thank you all. Have a happy holiday and looking forward to season two.
00:46:24
Speaker
I think I knew you enough.
00:47:06
Speaker
I'm loving my child.