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Blades of Glory
41 Plays3 days ago
Don't call it the Olympics! Emma & Katie talk about the early 00's Will Ferrel sports comedy Blades of Glory, which almost sortakinda has a romantic subplot with Pam Beasley and Napoleon Dynamite??
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Transcript
Bridal Shopping Season
00:00:03
Speaker
you know, working in bridal and people want to come back and it's shopping season and head by shopping season because the weddings are in the summer.
00:00:15
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. So like, um, right now, actually it's like peak for, uh, September, October and November.
00:00:25
Speaker
But because I'm on the East Coast, if you're getting married in the summer, would January, February be like to get your wedding dress? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, you get all the people that, like, also got engaged over the holidays and wanted to come shopping.
00:00:42
Speaker
And, yeah. And so it's just sort like, everybody wants to come in. And so, like, all of my evenings, I'm at the bridal store, which I love. But it's just, I'm a busy bee. Mm-hmm.
00:00:54
Speaker
Yeah. are you, Katie? Oh, fine. You know, hanging out. Yeah. Yeah. Hanging out. Living the dream? Are you, uh... No.
00:01:05
Speaker
Not a dream. Living? Mm-hmm. Period? Yeah, I'm surviving. You know, we're all doing our best. Yeah. Well, you look cute.
00:01:16
Speaker
i was just saying, I'm in a bathrobe because... You didn't have to tell them. Well, know. But I just... i It would be on the back of my mind this entire time.
00:01:27
Speaker
You're not being honest with the audience. I'm not being honest with my attire. Yeah. ah Yes. I need them to know that I did not dress for the occasion. i never dress for the occasion.
00:01:41
Speaker
There's definitely been at least a couple of episodes where I'm not wearing pants. That's okay. Because people can't see that. I am wearing pants today. Yay!
Living in Chicago Apartments
00:01:51
Speaker
Katie put on pants. Katie put on pants. Well, it's because it's not a million degrees in this apartment. The problem is the radiators are always blasting so hard. Even if it's cold, it's really cold outside. It's a million degrees in here.
00:02:02
Speaker
Jesus, yeah. so One thing that I don't miss about Chicago Apartments Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a lot cheaper. Like people who have central heat, you know, their heating bill goes way up. So that's. Oh, yeah, that's true. I remember in our first apartment, not our first apartment, but our second apartment, the terrible apartment, we had baseboard heaters and the heating bill would be like up to two hundred dollars in the winter because they yeah they were electric. So the electric bill would shoot up in the way be high in the winter and in the summer. It sucked.
00:02:32
Speaker
Yeah. No, that's awful. And we actually, they didn't take out the radiators because they had recently converted from radiators to to the baseboard heaters. And um the radiators were just there for me to stub my toe on all the time, but were never on.
00:02:50
Speaker
Yep. They were there to, like, drape laundry over. i mean... I know. i don't know. they They're they're otherre dirty. I don't like to put things on the radiators. I feel like it's not like i clean the radiators. You know what i mean? Like I'll take like a Swiffer and get the dust off them sometimes. But like, yeah I don't, I don't know. I don't feel like it was like that cracked silver paint on them and stuff. Like that's not good.
00:03:13
Speaker
Yeah. No. We used to dry ah laundry on there all the time. When they were heated? Yeah. When they were heated. Yeah. Well, you know, and if it gets hot, it's clean, right? Like that's just how science works. It's sanitation.
00:03:28
Speaker
Yeah. Science. The towels in the bathroom hang directly over the radiator. So they're nice and warm in the winter. Yeah. And nice and like cozy, you know, one day I'll get a little towel warmer.
00:03:41
Speaker
Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. um ah Charlie will be pleased to know that I recently made a very English purchase. ah I bought an electric kettle. Yeah. Oh, wait, you didn't. How have you been surviving without an electric kettle?
00:03:55
Speaker
Because this is America, Emma, and nobody has an electric kettle in America. I've literally had an electric kettle since I was like 12. twelve yeah well, you're a bit of an Anglophile. no my mom bought one like ages and ages ago because it's faster.
00:04:10
Speaker
It is faster. It's much better. i agree. But I did have it. I had a teapot on the stove like an American. ah God, more like frickin' person living in the Depression.
00:04:23
Speaker
i mean, like, it's... I got like a... I think I got this teapot when I moved to New York. um And I was like, I'm gonna have tea. Like, I'm gonna be like an And I've always had... I've never had an electric stove. Not in any of the places I've lived. Not like...
00:04:40
Speaker
Even man maybe the shitty apartment in college senior year had an electric stove. I don't remember. We didn't use it very much, if you know what I mean. Yeah. The I know growing up like my parents, like nowhere have I ever I've always had gas. And so gas heats a lot faster. So it's not as big a deal.
00:04:56
Speaker
Yeah, but still, I mean, like it just it's a whole thing versus like just press a button. I know. Yeah, it is. It is good. Yeah. well Congratulations. Welcome to the future.
00:05:07
Speaker
Thank you. I i love iced tea. I drink iced tea and water pretty much exclusively. That's yeah so.
Tea Preferences Across the U.S.
00:05:15
Speaker
Yeah. So I'm peeing just constantly. Yeah.
00:05:18
Speaker
Well, no, I don't drink sweet tea. I don't like sweet tea. It's too sweet. It's still iced tea. Iced tea. I don't think. Is iced tea a Southern thing? Yes. Iced tea is a very Southern thing. know sweet tea. is he ok Sweet tea and iced tea. Yeah. don y'all Y'all don't have iced tea in Connecticut. Yeah.
00:05:37
Speaker
I mean, because this is America, yes, but like... ah It's not like a popular beverage. Is it really not? No. feel like it is Chicago.
00:05:50
Speaker
i feel like everywhere in Chicago is has iced tea. Like... Like, I feel like they'll have, like, artisanal, like, blueberry mint iced tea.
00:06:01
Speaker
Yeah. But, like, regular good old-fashioned, like, black tea iced tea. Yeah. Like, that's not everywhere.
00:06:13
Speaker
Interesting. I don't know if I ever thought about it. I remember when I moved to New York... um I was, that was the first time, like when my, cause again, I never drank sweet tea, but when my parents would visit, you know, my mom would always ask for, can I, cause she never drank sweet tea either, but she would ask for, can get unsweetened tea? I'm like, mom, all the tea is unsweetened here. All the tea is unsweetened. You don't have to do that. It's also, well, there's a Southern restaurant in Union Square that I can't remember the name of called Somebody's. It's like,
00:06:46
Speaker
Mamas or something like that. Mamas. I was just about to say, is it called Mamas? It was something like that. yeah And they had, ah first of all, they had great pimento cheese. And secondly, they had sweet tea. And so I took my parents there one time when they visited. um And that was a big hit. Lol.
00:07:01
Speaker
Lol. But now everywhere has sweet tea. I mean, once McDonald's started carrying sweet tea, I think it was over. Like anywhere you go. Like I have to ask for unsweet tea most places now. Well, because this is, again, America and we're all addicted to corn syrup.
00:07:16
Speaker
So, ah yeah. Well, I mean, sweet tea, one of the few things that actually doesn't have corn syrup in It's got, I used to make the sweet tea when I was a waitress. And I think I've told you this before. Like it is, I would take a gallon of like just sugar syrup, just simple syrup, sugar water.
00:07:38
Speaker
and then I would put that in with the tea. Yeah. Sweet tea. My grandmother used to make sweet tea and there's a ton of sugar in sweet tea. It's a roast. sugar and makes your teeth itch.
00:07:49
Speaker
Yep. Oh, what? Why? Why? Because it's so sweet. You never get that like sensation like, oh, my teeth. No! I mean, they don't literally itch. It's just an expression. I've never heard that before in my life. Oh, that's terrifying. The feeling when you eat something or drink something that's super sweet. That's how I am with soda. You drink it and you're like, oh, God, my teeth.
00:08:13
Speaker
Like, in the back of your... It doesn't hurt or anything. It's just like you can feel. I feel like I feel the sugar on my teeth. I feel my teeth decaying from the sugar. No, I just feel gross. Okay. All right. Well, I know. I'm not the only one who I've i've talked to other people about that. Okay. Okay. I've never heard that expression
Romantic Comedies and Spicy Shows
00:08:31
Speaker
before. I'm not crazy. um Anyways, ah itching teeth.
00:08:36
Speaker
Famously featured in today's film. That's right, guys. You guessed it. This is Go Get Your Girl. This is the podcast where Emma and Katie... What direction do I go with this?
00:08:48
Speaker
Emma and Katie... Do you the HBO series Heated Rivalry? Yes. Yes. Heated Rivalry. But, like, if it was better because it was about figure skating. Better?
00:09:00
Speaker
Because it would be about figure skating. I don't care about hockey. i care about figure skating. I will probably watch heated rivalry. Actually, I think I talked to Charlie about it. And I think we agreed that we would, that would be our next show that we're going to watch.
00:09:15
Speaker
So everybody's really trying to get me to see it. And I just, I don't, um I don't have the, I don't have the Fujoshi gene, you know? Yeah. I don't. That's what I keep saying. And it makes me feel like not an ally. yeah It makes me feel like I'm a homophobe in some way. And I'm not.
00:09:31
Speaker
It's just not that. I'm happy for them. It just doesn't it doesn't turn me on. you know yeah It's not that I don't have anything against it. i'm I don't think it's gross. It just doesn't do anything for me sexually. Yeah. And that's the whole thing is that like, if I'm going to watch a show that's like spicy spicy, spicy, spicy, like, why would I watch a show that's spicy if not to get horny?
00:09:57
Speaker
Like, huh what's the point? Right. I mean, i i i love a good romance. i'll Maybe I'll watch it for their romantic entanglements. Sure. um But like, I, if if I'm not getting horny, what's the point?
00:10:13
Speaker
I agree. Yeah, I just don't get it. It'd be like, you know, if if if if Jared Leto was in a rom-com, like, I just, there's no point, you know? like Why did you pick Jared Leto?
00:10:24
Speaker
Just the most unappealing, like, straight man actor I could think off the top of my head. He was very appealing in the 90s. Have you seen My So-Called Life? i have you Well, I know. I mean, now, like, I'm not talking about, you know, Jordan Catalano.
00:10:38
Speaker
I mean, Jordan Catalano was hot. We can all agree on Jordan Catalano, but current day. Okay. Who's in that? like I'm trying just, like. ah ah um ah Steve Buscemi.
00:10:50
Speaker
Well, I'd probably watch that because that'd be sweet, you know? Yeah. Yeah. ah ah Oh, my God. it like um what's What's that podcaster everybody hates?
00:11:03
Speaker
ah Joe Rogan? Yeah, if Joe Rogan was in a rom-com. You know, Joe Rogan might have been in a rom-com, actually. He like don't he was in a sitcom in the 90s, yeah. I didn't even know he was an actor. I thought he was just a terrible right-wing anti-feminist. No, he times to be yes he used to be a comedian and an actor. He was on um news radio, the sitcom in the 90s. Oh, didn't you love that?
00:11:27
Speaker
i i didn't love it. i never I had always heard it was great. And so like a couple years ago, was like, i'm going to watch news radio. and I think I told you about this. Yeah. It is good. And then like Amazon Prime took it off of free and I stopped watching it. But it is it is pretty good for like ninety sitcom. It's Dave Foley from Kids in Hall. Oh, yeah, yeah. We love Kids in the Hall. And Mara Tierney.
00:11:51
Speaker
Yep. ye yeah And also Joe Rogan. Yeah. Yeah. um So, yeah. So, anyways, Emma and i Katie. Right. Not even into the the intro.
00:12:03
Speaker
Emma and Katie are, like, living their best figure skating lives, but, like, have a heated rivalry situation against we're conjoined twins because we can't we're conjoined twins uh and with like another figure skater and then we get into a fight with them and then we get banned from figure skating and our life goes down the toilet this just to be Just to be clear, Emma, you're making us conjoined twins in this movie that is a platonic comedy about two friends, two people who become friends. You're the one that said heated rivalry. Okay, fair enough. Sorry, go ahead. Continue. ah
00:12:46
Speaker
I was like, how do I make it even less sexual? It is pretty sexual, actually. Yeah, and I i love you so much, but like I don't want to scissor you on the ice. no. no Or anyone on the ice. Or anyone. Or at all, really. It doesn't seem... I've never done it. It doesn't seem comfortable. It really doesn't.
00:13:09
Speaker
Tribbing is what they call that in the lesbian community. And also, i don't think it's a ah legal figure skating move. I don't think that's a concern of this movie, actually. No. Anyways, we ah we do some figure skating. We learn that we can get back to the Olympics by being in a doubles pair. So we get together with our our frenemy. And along the way, we fall in love with our other frenemy's sister.
00:13:37
Speaker
ah That's right, guys. This is... I'm Emma. And I'm Katie. We are talking about Blades of Glory, which i realized is a pun for Blaze of Glory.
00:13:49
Speaker
From 2007, it is directed by Josh Gordon and Will Speck, who are a directing team who directed to such luminous films as Office Christmas Party. Yep.
00:14:03
Speaker
And The Switch, that horrible movie, which there's no reason for anyone to watch, which is where, do you know this movie? Is it the one with um Adam
MTV Films and 'Blades of Glory'
00:14:15
Speaker
Sandler?
00:14:16
Speaker
no that's Click. Click. No, that is click. This is Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston where they are lifelong friends. And she is, is getting, um, she is single and it has decided to have a baby through artificial insemination. And he is over at her house and decides to switch the semen that she ordered with his own.
00:14:43
Speaker
And unknowingly to her, impregnates her with his child. Well, it was she artificially inseminates herself with his so semen. Yep. Which, and then it becomes like a rom-com. It's ludicrous. We'll probably do it on this pod. I mean, probably. yeah, um but yeah so they made that movie. Don't give too much away.
00:15:05
Speaker
They're most famous for, however, for being commercial directors where they did the Geico Gecko commercials and the Geico Caveman commercials. Oh, I forgot about the caveman. Geico has so many, like... They've got too many spokespeople. Too many. I feel like we've talked about that but on this podcast before.
00:15:27
Speaker
um The Geico caveman famously had a sitcom spinoff where a commercial got turned a TV show. did that do? think it lasted for like five episodes before it canceled. Famously one of the worst sitcoms of all time. Although, to be fair, Ted Lasso was a commercial that got turned into a TV show.
00:15:48
Speaker
That's true. That's very true. ah But I feel like there was like ah maybe a little bit more, you know... like ground to walk. You think there was more meat on the bones for Ted Lasso than the caveman sitcom? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Cause like, what are you going to talk about? If not insurance?
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah. He's a caveman and he's talking about insurance. So this movie had a story by credit for busy Phillips. Yeah.
00:16:19
Speaker
Don't know why. Oh, I can tell you why. This is the first of Emma's Fun Facts, Emma's Fun Facts. ah She came up with this was her idea. And she shared it with one of the script writers. They stole it and she threatened to sue.
00:16:35
Speaker
Oh, interesting. Yeah, that sounds right. Well, it's her only writing credit of any kind. Yep. this is the The screenplay is written by ah Josh, Jeff Cox, and Craig Cox, who are brothers. And then John Altshuler,
00:16:51
Speaker
um ah who has like TV credits written, um Silicon Valley, King of the Hill, that sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Cox. Yeah, Cox. And this, is of course, is an MTV film.
00:17:03
Speaker
Of course it is. Is this our first MTV original? Yeah. um probably like I don't think MTV films lasted a long time, right? No, but they, they came out with some gems.
00:17:15
Speaker
They came out with this one forever. ah they did together. What did they do? They did Beavis and Butthead, obviously. Yep. Um, Blades of yeah Coach Carter.
00:17:27
Speaker
Crossroads. We'll definitely do Crossroads. Oh, absolutely. We will do Crossroads. Dead Man on Campus. Yep. Um, All the jackass movies, of course. So many classics.
00:17:40
Speaker
Hustle and Flow won some Oscars. Yep. i Orange County. I remember Orange County. I think Orange County might have been the first.
00:17:51
Speaker
ah No, no, I'm sorry. Joe's Apartment about the man with the cockroaches. That was the first MTV film. Boy, oh boy. What? And Varsity Blues.
00:18:02
Speaker
why Of course, Poodie Tang. Yeah. Timeless classics there. Oh, they're still around. No, no they They released Predators. What? The documentary about To Catch a Predator.
00:18:15
Speaker
It was an MTV film. They really ah are expanding their horizons. Interesting. How to go from Jackass to the movie on exposing How to Catch a Predator. Yeah.
00:18:27
Speaker
People love Jackass, the Jackass movies. I've never seen them. I've never seen more than, you know, all the Jackass I've ever seen has been against my will. yeah I've never seen more than a few clips of Jackass at like, you know, somebody's house. Yep. People really go to bat for the Jackass movies. Apparently they're very sweet. I just, I'm not to watch the Jackass movies. I can't. can't. There's nothing in my DNA that makes me want to watch that.
00:18:52
Speaker
No. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely ridiculous. ah But yeah. Blades of Glory. Blades of Glory. So we've got Napoleon Dynamite himself. Yep. John Heater, um who didn't do anything after this, really. No, this was his final swan song.
00:19:11
Speaker
It really, he's done a lot of voice over work. um This is pretty much his last ah live action movie. I think I've got somewhere in my notes. He has one live action movie after this, but this is pretty much the end.
00:19:23
Speaker
The thing about him is he's not a good actor.
Critique of 'Napoleon Dynamite'
00:19:25
Speaker
Yeah. And he was just sort of cruising on that Napoleon Dynamite fame. Well, the thing about Napoleon Dynamite is that it's not a good movie. Yeah. There was a mass hysteria. Yeah.
00:19:37
Speaker
In... middle school, high school, where everybody became obsessed with Napoleon Dynamite. Yep. And I, at the even at the time, I just didn't get it. I don't, I didn't ever thought it was funny. didn't think it was funny when I was 14. I don't think it's funny now.
00:19:51
Speaker
I think it's that millennial cringe comedy sort of aesthetic where it's just sort of like, it's so stupid that it's funny. Like it's so dumb.
00:20:02
Speaker
And it's like, it's like the, the fricking Quiznos hamster commercial. It's like, yeah it's like the berries and cream Skittles commercial, you know? There's, there's some absurdity to both of those things that I think is missing from Napoleon Dynamite. I think Napoleon Dynamite has, is trying to do this like twee kind of like um deadpan cringe comedy thing that doesn't, but it doesn't have the silliness of berries and cream. You know what i mean?
00:20:34
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I agree. I mean, like, i i watched it. It was not... I watched it. I never quoted it. No, no, I never... Everyone else did. was the thing that everyone wouldn't stop fucking saying. Everybody was wearing those Vote for Pedro shirts. It was so... Which is, like, it's a little bit racist.
00:20:55
Speaker
Like, yeah he's a terrible person in that movie. Like, what a what a what an unlikable protagonist Napoleon Dynamite is. and think I think was just excited about it because it was the comeback of, um oh my God, what's her name?
00:21:09
Speaker
Jenna Malone. No, not Jenna Malone. Isn't it Jenna Malone? It's not Jenna Malone. It's, um. Thor Birch. Thor, no, it's not Thor Birch. But you're, you're in this, the right, like, genre. Oh, it's Tina Majorino from Veronica Mars. Yeah, it's Tina Majorino.
00:21:27
Speaker
It was like the comeback of her. And it was just really nice to see her working again. Yeah. Child star. you know major um a Fun fact that I think everyone eventually figured out, but ah the the evil villain from White Lotus, of course, plays Uncle Rico in Napoleon. Yeah.
00:21:44
Speaker
Yes, he does. Boy, oh boy. There you go. Another in our classic of Mormon movies. Yes. What's the other Mormon movie? We just talk about Mormons on another episode. think was Twilight. we just talk about Mormons all the time.
00:21:59
Speaker
ah Shout out to our Mormon listeners. Yeah. Oh, man. I forgot. I wanted to check how many listeners we have in Utah, but oh well. I don't think we have Eddie. That can't be true. That can't be true. I've got Zencastr open in this window, so I can't. I'll put it on my phone. Hold on. All right. You talk about something, and I'll look up how many listeners we have in Utah.
John Heater's Japanese Skills
00:22:20
Speaker
Fabulous. Speaking of Mormons, this brings us into the next of Emma's Fun Facts. Emma's Fun Facts. Fun Facts. um So there is a scene where ah Napoleon Dynamite himself, there Bill Hader? No.
00:22:36
Speaker
What's his name? John Heater. John Heater. Not Bill Hader. Bill Hader. Yes. ah Apologies to Bill Hader. We do have listeners in Utah. We have listeners in Salt Lake and Provo.
00:22:51
Speaker
It's doing that thing where it won't tell me how many, though. Of course. Shout out to our Mormon listeners. It could be non-Mormons in Salt Lake. Shout out to our non-Mormon listeners.
00:23:04
Speaker
Oh, no, not that. Shout out to our Utah listeners. Yeah, there we go. There we go. um Anyways, there's a scene where um Napoleon Dynamite starts is at a press conference ah and he starts speaking Japanese fluently. And that was all John Heater ah because he did his missionary trip to Japan.
00:23:26
Speaker
So he learned to speak Japanese. So he is fluent in Japanese. So that's nice. Happy for him. Yeah. um ah So, yeah, we've got John Heater is a figure skater.
00:23:41
Speaker
Yes. Who is ah Like a weird little twink. I mean, he's Napoleon Dynamite. um He's wearing a peacock outfit in the first ah thing. Well, he that's his signature. He is. He's very graceful and lithe and twinkie.
00:24:00
Speaker
yeah So this whole movie, I should say, is one long gay panic joke. Like, that's kind point the point. Homophobia is the potatoes to the movie's steak.
00:24:14
Speaker
But you try to, you you move past it. You move past it. The reason that I picked this movie, the reason I picked this movie is that this is one of Team USA's. It's not going to help.
00:24:28
Speaker
ah This is one of the Team USA's, ah the one of the figure skating marvels, her favorite figure skating movie. And I was like, oh, could we do this on the pod?
00:24:41
Speaker
I'm trying to think of other figure skating movies. There is a figure skating rom-com called, um, the cutting edge. I know I was like, should we do that? And then I was like, no, we're going to blades of glory.
00:24:52
Speaker
Um, uh, so at a press conference, when, um, the women's figure skating team, uh, was solidified with our three fabulous, um, blade sisters.
00:25:08
Speaker
Uh, did say so? Yeah. are I think they call themselves the Blade Angels. ah And they were asked, you know, what their favorite figure skating movie was. And two of the three ah said Ice Princess, of course. And um my favorite of the three, because she's a little punk,
00:25:29
Speaker
old like girl who gives no fucks Alyssa Lou she's fabulous i love Alyssa Lou she gives no fucks and she was like oh I've never seen I'm just princess I'd say we're like blades of glory uh so yeah so uh I was like let's do blades of glory cause uh that's a fun time and forgot all the controversial shit about this movie um And really controversial as much as it is like just kind of.
00:26:01
Speaker
um Dated. Dated. Yeah. yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah. um And you got to just appreciate the beautiful fake figure skating that.
00:26:13
Speaker
um The green screen stuff. All all the actors do in this. Yeah. ah What a fun time. This movie is almost 20 years old. It's 19 years ago. it's just movie now Which is crazy. So yeah, so John Heater was um a little orphan boy adopted by William Fickner, classic 90s, 2000s movie villain, ah William Fickner. Yep. um Who, ah there's there's ah there's a a magazine cover that you see with him on it that says, Show Me the Orphans. Show Me the Orphans.
00:26:48
Speaker
His goal Because he collected orphans. He wanted to adopt a bunch of kids to be Olympic
'Blades of Glory' Plot Summary
00:26:56
Speaker
winners. Yes. Now, of course, the International Olympic Committee had nothing to do with this movie. And is. They could not use it.
00:27:03
Speaker
Probably threatened a lawsuit. So it's called the Winter Sports Games. The Winter Sports Games. And it's like this Celtic cross instead of, or a Celtic, um what is it like Celtic braid kind of thing instead of the Olympic rings. Yeah. Yeah. Because you can't can't use the Olympics.
00:27:21
Speaker
um But we do have ah Scott Hamilton, multi-Olympian comedy figure skater, Scott Hamilton, as the announcer in this. I mean, there's several actual Team USA. Oh, a whole bunch of famous figure skaters show up. Yeah. Yeah. There are um so many in this.
00:27:39
Speaker
So John Heder's character, whose name I didn't write down, um I think it's Napoleon. um dynamite yes he is a the beloved figure skater everyone loves him ah he has this ridiculous haircut that it shows a bunch of teens emulating it's just like a bowl cut it's just simple it's like this blonde feathery bowl cut it's it's yeah it's a little unique yeah it's horrible His character's name is Jimmy McElroy. Jimmy McElroy, yes. And he has a stalker played by some mad TV man, I assume. Just because he's one of those guys who looks familiar. It's like, it wasn't good enough to be on Saturday Night Live, but you know.
00:28:29
Speaker
well tv He's there. He shouts, I sent you a cup of my blood. Did you get my blood? And then there's figure skating outlaw Chaz Michael Michaels played Will Ferrell, who is Will Ferrell character. He's figure skating's bad boy.
00:28:50
Speaker
He's something. He's like a gross, sexist, um like 80s hairband kind of guy, i guess. Yeah. I kept waiting for the moment for him to just like come out because I felt like her yeah you were building up to that. Yeah. He was so just like everything that he would say was like, i slept with this lady. I slept with that lady. I slept. And in like classic two thousand s Comedy back from Always Sunny. Yeah, yeah exactly.
00:29:23
Speaker
And ah in classic 2000s comedy twist, like the the like payoff of that would be at the end, he falls in love with a man. like Right, right, right. Yeah, that's 2000s comedy basic, but we never got there.
00:29:37
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like the movie is too homophobic for that. um It's um yeah, he's they call him ice skating's backdoor man. Yeah.
00:29:48
Speaker
Uh, he honed his chops at the Detroit, Detroit's underground sewer skating scene. Yeah. Um, he, ah have so the, the problem is they tie, which I don't know if that's possible in the Olympics to tie. There's a lot of not, well, because it's not the Olympics. It's the winter sport games. It's the winter sport games. So anything goes, anything goes.
00:30:13
Speaker
So they tie for gold. William Fichtner has a line that made me laugh. One of the few times I laughed in this movie yeah where he says, if I wanted him to share, I'd have bought him a brother. ah And so they get into it. Will Ferrell and um and John Heder get into a fight on the ice ah because of ego. And yeah they both get expelled from the from bigger skating, basically. Yeah. And we have...
00:30:43
Speaker
um the they go in front of the board which has mr feeney as the head of it yes um but also dorothy hamill nancy kerrigan brian bortano and peggy fleming uh on their on at the board which strips them of their medals and tells them that they're no loud no no longer allowed to compete uh in the olympics um winter sports games in the winter sports games sorry And um William Fichtner disowns John Heater and kicks him out his limo. And then we get three and a half years later.
00:31:18
Speaker
And three and a half years later, ah Jimmy McElroy is a... Well, first we see Chaz. The Grublets. Don't forget the Grublets. Sorry, the Grublets. We see Will Ferrell as a... He's a figure skating um character actor now. And...
00:31:38
Speaker
it's like a um It's like a, you know, a third-rate amusement park yeah ice icecapades kind of situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he is the evil the evil wizard for this, like, weird children's show on ice. Yeah. And, uh, come on. buts yeah Sorry. the grublets name sorry My apologies to the grublets. Uh, and, uh, he hates his life and he's just drunk all the time and he's sleeping with all the woodland fairies.
00:32:07
Speaker
And my favorite is backstage. His dressing room at the grublets is just like a rock and roll backstage where everyone's just like wasted and like making out and doing drugs and just, you know, but they're all children performers.
00:32:23
Speaker
And, uh, and then we also, yeah, I know. Probably not far off. Yeah. You done a lot of children's theater? I do one every year.
00:32:33
Speaker
oh that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yes. Yeah. Fair amount of children's theater. ah Boy, oh boy i And so yeah then we see not Bill Hader, John Heater.
00:32:50
Speaker
ah and he is working at a winter sports store and he is trying to teach a little girl the proper way to lace her skates. But nobody wants to listen to him because he's...
00:33:03
Speaker
being a perfectionist about it and stupid and not a customer service employee. And so, ah I forget how they like see each other again. The stalker shows up and tells, tells Jimmy, uh, that, um, he discovered a loophole and that he's technically only banned from men's singles and yeah he could compete in doubles.
00:33:28
Speaker
Oh, by the way, I'm still going to kill you someday. He says, yeah, yeah, yeah. um Also, we've also met the the doubles American champs, a married couple at the time, Will Arnett and Amy Poehler, who are playing siblings in this movie, yep who are the doubles ice skating champs whose parents died in a horrible car wreck when they were children.
00:33:51
Speaker
yu And their other sister, Jenna Fisher, survived. Now, for the life of me, I thought that there was a twist in this movie where it turned out that Jenna Fisher was the one who murdered their parents.
00:34:03
Speaker
Oh, that is that does not happen. I thought that the twist was going to be that they killed their parents and then blamed it on Jenna Fisher. Yeah, I feel like that might have been cut out or something like it seems really obvious because it turns out. i mean, they're the ones that are evil, obviously. Yeah, obviously.
00:34:17
Speaker
Like, I thought that's where that was going. And I got me to warn in some sort of weird, like past life seeing this movie that that's what happened. I mean, a lot of these movies had like, you know, unrated director's cuts and stuff. So maybe there was something like that or a deleted scene that we saw. Or it's a Bernstein Bears, Bernstein Bears situation.
00:34:38
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. um The Bernstein Bears, who are not very not Jewish. um Like, I assumed that the Bernstein Bears were Jewish, but apparently. How are they not Jewish?
00:34:51
Speaker
Oh, my God. well because it's the Bernstein Bears. No, I thought it was the Bernstein Bears. No, it's the it's the Berenstain Bears. And they are a very Christian, very conservative family oh who makes those books because like pretty much right after the, you know, early 90s, like when we were toddlers reading these books. Yeah, they got super Christian. And it was the all the Berenstain Bears books that got published after like 1992 are like the Berenstain Bears, you know.
00:35:29
Speaker
Pick it in an abortion clinic. Yes, exactly. Like, you know, join the Westboro Baptist Church. Yeah. The confusion. Yeah. As I always thought, and my parents pronounced it Berenstein because that's a name.
00:35:42
Speaker
That's a name. Yeah. I would have liked it if they were Jewish. Yeah. It would have been, yeah. you know You know, nobody's perfect. ah um What are you going to do? Mama bear.
00:35:53
Speaker
The, um, so yeah. So, um, how do we get on the Berenstein bears? Uh, oh, oh yeah. Yeah. Deleted scene. Yeah. So yes. He goes to the grublets to try to find a woman figure skater. So he is trying to like write down the women's names who work there. And he's going to try to reach out to find a partner yeah to do doubles figure skating with.
00:36:18
Speaker
But instead he runs into. Well, and what's his name? um That little freak who's in all that stuff. Oh man. ah Rob Corddry is the manager and he, you know, kicks him out and tells him he can't poach his grublets or whatever. oh yeah. Yeah.
00:36:33
Speaker
And then he runs into Will Ferrell. Yeah. And. um Who was ah so drunk that he was vomiting inside his evil wizard suit during a performance and he gets fired.
00:36:45
Speaker
He says to Will Ferrell, I see you're still fat. And Will Ferrell says, you to i see you still look like a 15 year old girl, but not hot. Yep. It was 2007, Katie. was inexcusable in 2007 as well. I'm sorry. i know. I know. It's fucking crazy.
00:37:04
Speaker
Goodness gracious. um But yeah. They get into a fight again. um ah and um we ah Craig T. Nelson, who was the coach for um for Jimmy. Yeah.
00:37:22
Speaker
Back in the back a few years ago. Sees footage of the two of them fighting. Oh, yeah. the news and they're throwing each other around with such grace. Yeah. That Craig T. Nelson gets an idea. And he's like, that's never been done before. But two men doubles.
00:37:43
Speaker
Let's do it. Now you're a figure skating girly. i I, I don't do it, but I appreciate the sports. Well, sure. Correct. correct Yes.
00:37:53
Speaker
Is there any, is there a rule that says that it has to be male, female? I think that's just sexism. I don't know. yeah I want to say that like it's in very recent years like there's been um a women's team that's made like nationals but I don't know of any like male male teams but I'm sure it's not heard of.
00:38:18
Speaker
It says not allowed in sanctioned international skating union competitions. They define pairs as one man and one one woman. Two men and two women have skated together in exhibition and in recently Canadian national competitions. Yeah. As 2022, Skate Canada became the first national body to allow same-sex duos to compete nationally.
Same-Sex Skating Pairs Rules
00:38:40
Speaker
I feel like that should be like thing. Like, why is it yeah one man, one woman? This is not the West. baptist I mean, why is chess gender segregated? You know, like chess is gender segregated.
00:38:50
Speaker
Oh, 1000%. Yeah. It wasn't like that in um that Anya Taylor joy show. the the fictional movie. Yeah. Right. But like she was competing all over the place.
00:39:06
Speaker
um Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why, how I discovered this, but I, it was one of my Wikipedia holes not too long ago, but yeah, chess is gender segregated basically. And here's the thing. The reason that they state it is so it it, it, it helps more. It invites more women to get into the sport because 96% of chet professional chess players are men.
00:39:27
Speaker
And just because of the majority, ah it would, you know, there would be ah so few women in chess tournaments if they were, you know, ah unisex.
00:39:40
Speaker
That's why they have separate women's competitions. So there's hundreds of women instead of, you know, dozens of women. in the tournaments which kind of makes sense but you know it still just seems kind of i think yeah yeah it's like what are you saying ultimately that girl and i mean they're saying lots of things it's the same thing as like you know the the national bodies have explicitly said that trans women are not allowed to compete in beauty beauty competitions because they have an unfair advantage in being hot hey what are you gonna do there what are you gonna do there
00:40:14
Speaker
Um, ah so. Goodness gracious. They, they, yeah, they get into this big fight on the, at the grublets. But boy, can they skate?
00:40:26
Speaker
Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell are very funny in this movie. I find them much funnier than Will Ferrell and, uh, wait, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are very funny in this movie. I find them much funnier than Will Ferrell and John Heater.
00:40:39
Speaker
They're just doing their weird, gross thing. Yep, yep. And they're constantly just being weird. Sexual twin relationship, yeah. And also they're very problematic.
00:40:51
Speaker
Oh, they're pure evil, yes. No, no, no. they're Well, yes, that, but like also their their skating routines are so fucking problematic. Like yeah at one point um they do, they're a very, it feels very racist. Yeah.
00:41:08
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Big time. Yeah. um and and ah And then they do the Marilyn Monroe JFK one, hu which is so fucking funny.
00:41:19
Speaker
Yeah. And so Katie is ah this is our I believe this is our first rom-com movie where the romantic lead. I mean, she is like the fifth lead of this movie, but she is the romantic lead.
00:41:33
Speaker
Yes, she is. We have we've had romantic leads named Emma. I think this is the first romantic lead named Katie. in the Oh, you're welcome, Katie. oh no problem. I get to be the fucking mousy little.
00:41:45
Speaker
hey she gets her, man. Yeah, I guess. Fucking John Heater. Over snow cones. So um she is like the, you know, her life is terrible. She's their servant, basically. And anytime they yeah she tries to fight back with them, they're like, remember when mom and dad used to be alive? Yeah. They guilt they have guilted her into servitude, essentially. Yes.
00:42:11
Speaker
Yes. Um, and she works for them and, uh, they make her do everything. Yeah. Uh, so Craig T Nelson talks Will Ferrell and John heater into attempting to, to do male pairs figure skating. It will let them compete in the Olympics. Yep. And he forces them to live together.
00:42:32
Speaker
Will Ferrell uses main and tail shampoo. And here we go. Have you ever used main and tail shampoo? Emma? Um, I haven't, but I hear it's really great for your hair. It is. i did I used it in high school for a little bit. Yeah. It's one of those things where it's like, if when you're trying to grow, ah like if you want your hair to grow faster, they tell you to use mane and tail, which is horse shampoo, we should say.
00:42:56
Speaker
But like, but people use it all the time. Like, I didn't understand why it was such a weird, like, you use horse shampoo? I was like, everybody used that like way before 2007. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was very big ah for a while. It was like, ah you know, a beauty tip kind of thing. yeah um It's also cheap. It's like $8 for a giant bottle of mane and tail.
00:43:19
Speaker
um and And they have conditioner, too. But yeah, i used it in high school. It smells nice. um um they are living together and having you know it's the same it's all Will Ferrell movies it's the same thing as Step Brothers it does nothing for me I don't give a shit about any of it I mean we do get the like wonderful montage of them learning to skate together which is their coach just floods a factory floor almost positive you couldn't skate on that
00:43:53
Speaker
Right? That would be so damaging to your um to your skates. Not to mention your body when you fall on it. Yeah. And they do a lot of falling. They do. um a Romany Malko is there, who's the choreographer. he's He was in tons of stuff at the time. We like him. yeah um ah Also, Will Ferrell has a hairbrush that costs $12,000. Yep. And so i went a little box I went on a little Google trip to find the most expensive hairbrush in the world.
00:44:21
Speaker
What's the most expensive hairbrush in the world? The closest one I could find is, um well, I didn't write down the name, did I? God damn it. God god damn The most expensive hairbrush I could find is about $400. Now, I found someone selling that same hairbrush for $800. What? But it is the same hairbrush, and I found it for $400 from the website of the company who makes it. So i don't know what that person's on about. Yep. Yeah. um But let's see here. It is Mason Pearson is the company that makes- Oh, yeah. I've wanted one. Of course you have. That makes very expensive hairbrushes. No, I don't have one. I want one.
00:45:00
Speaker
know. I'm saying, of course you do. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're used all over personal stylists and stuff. Use them all the time. Yeah, yeah. They are about- The most expensive one is about $400, yeah.
00:45:16
Speaker
and Just significantly less than $12,000. Yeah. yeah I mean, like, yeah a brush is a brush is a brush. Like, you can't. Really. I mean, well, no, there's some shitty brushes. but True. But, like, as someone who, I don't use a hairbrush, really. like Yeah. i Curly girl. It's, can't.
00:45:31
Speaker
Yeah. it Wouldn't be worth it. um that's That seems insane to me. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's a lot. And like his reasoning as to why it's so expensive is just really stupid. But like, i mean. one things. Like rich people will spend that amount of money on anything. It's like, you know, the plain white t-shirts that cost like $5,000. Yeah. Or the million dollar wedding gown that just got released this past bridal season. And the only reason why it's a million dollars is this is because of the Swarovski crystals and the giant emerald in the center of the course. But to say, there's got to be some kind of gemstone. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:07
Speaker
This is, of course, where we get Will Ferrell says that the only song he'll skate to is Lady Lump. What does he call it? think he calls it Lady Humps. Lady Humps. ah The song My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas. He says Lady Hump by Black Eyed Peas is the only song I'll listen to. And he goes, yeah the only song I'll i'll skate to. And um John Heater goes, what does that mean? i don't know what that I don't know what it's about, what it means. And Will Ferrell says, no one knows what it means, but it's provocative. It gets the people going. Yeah.
00:46:37
Speaker
Which is, of course, the the sample that they use in the in the Kanye and Jay-Z song. Yep. The only thing I remembered about this movie before we started watching it was that. Yep.
00:46:48
Speaker
um and um And secondly, everyone knows what my humps is about. It's about butt. It's about, is, is it about butts? it's I thought it was about boobs.
00:46:59
Speaker
No, it's about curves. It's about your curves. it's about all the, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. All your curves. It's about butts and your lovely lady humps. Like, like. Lovely lady lumps is what she says. It's, it's a disgusting song. It's a disgusting song, but it was everywhere. And I sang it constantly in high school. Oh my God. Do you remember when Aladis Morissette covered it?
00:47:20
Speaker
No. I didn't even know that Alea Smores had covered it. Right around the time it came out, like very, like the same year, she released like an acoustic slowed version of it. It's pretty funny. Of course. I love that. And it's, and know yeah, it's, in the video is her like in, like with money. all it's it's It's funny. Yeah. It's very tongue in cheek.
00:47:37
Speaker
um Can't believe that was a thing. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's It's just somehow so much grosser than things that are more explicitly sexual. Like Liz Faire has a song about cum that's less gross than than my humps. that's But it's so catchy.
00:47:56
Speaker
It is catchy, I suppose. My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps. Yep. That's gross. Break it down now. The Black Eyed Peas was a real real time in America. Yeah. Can't believe we allowed that to happen. Yeah. Remember when she peed on stage during a performance?
00:48:17
Speaker
I do remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one thing I will always remember about them. She's married to Josh Duhamel. Yeah. Yeah. Are they still married? I don't know.
00:48:28
Speaker
I thought there was like a whole divorce Anyways, not relevant. There's a whole like d plot in here where their coach has the secret move that he really wants them to do called the what is it? The the flying Lotus.
00:48:43
Speaker
the Iron Lotus. The Iron Lotus. And um he shows them hit his first attempt at it. ah which North Korea.
00:48:54
Speaker
in North Korea was the only place that they would let him do it. And it is like, essentially, it is a spin to like a leap and then backflip thing. Anyways, the guy constantly, he decapitates the girl ah with escape, which this was the funniest part of this movie. Yes, it is. It is funny because they land and then her head falls off. yeah like And then the whole montage of them learning to do it um yeah was just Will Ferrell.
00:49:28
Speaker
practicing with these mannequins and constantly decapitating them. And then you've got the coach on the sidelines, just, just, um, sharpening their blades, sharpening the ice skates. And then, um, the, the, the floor is littered with mannequin heads that have wigs that look like John Heater's hair. It's like, how much money did they spend on all these wigs?
00:49:52
Speaker
It's great. It's great. It's my favorite part of the movie. It is funny. Yes. It's a very funny part. Yeah. um ah Here we go. So John Heater's last live action real movie role was When in Rome, a horrible rom-com starring Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel, which is why I had the first beat.
00:50:13
Speaker
Josh Duhamel, full circle. There we go. Full circle. um um They are getting better. Yes. um So much so. Oh, it's it's so the doubles.
00:50:24
Speaker
Will Arnett and Amy Poehler's skate is a an edgy look at life on the streets is how it's described by Scott Hamilton. What what is the song that they dance to? I didn't write it down. okay it just I just was so taken aback by the like the white braids and the costume.
00:50:45
Speaker
Just absolutely ridiculous. um But they they are so semi-threatened by yes Will Ferrell and um John Heater that they send Jenna Fisher to go videotape them and spy on them.
00:51:02
Speaker
Spy on them, yes. um This is when John Heater meets Katie, Jenna Fisher's character, um and decides that he likes her. yeah And they have this phone conversation where Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell are feeding her things to say, and Will Ferrell is feeding him things to say, so they're both saying ridiculous things.
00:51:20
Speaker
Like super horny things. My favorite of which is...
00:51:26
Speaker
Where Amy Poehler says, yeah, well'll meet we'll meet at at eight. And then she looks down at a note though given to her by Amy Poehler and says, then I'll give me time to get my jugs waxed. Yes!
00:51:42
Speaker
And that made me laugh. That was very funny to me. Yeah. It seems like there were quite a few moments in this movie that made you laugh. there's I mean, there's two or three. Not a lot. um It's a dumb movie. It's very dumb. It's no Talladega Nights. Let's let's be real. Yeah, that's true.
00:51:59
Speaker
ah Which is another one that will probably make us do on this podcast. That is not a rom-com. Yeah.
00:52:06
Speaker
I'll probably make us do, um ah oh my God, what's what's the one? i mean, Anchorman is more of a rom-com than Talladega Nights or this.
'The Office' Actors' Theater Tales
00:52:14
Speaker
That's true. We'll probably do Anchorman. um And ah we'll probably do, ah oh what's the faux Bob Dylan movie?
00:52:27
Speaker
Oh, you mean the faux Johnny Cash movie? You're talking about Walk Hard? Yeah, Walk Hard. Walk Hard is very funny. Walk Hard is so good. I fucking love Walk Hard. Little kid says, I don't know, man, I'm cutting half pretty bad.
00:52:44
Speaker
Jennifer also in that movie. Jenna Fisher is in that movie. Man. yeah She almost had a career, didn't she? She did. She almost had a career. um i mean, her delivery on time to have my get my jugs waxed is very good. Right? She's very funny. Yeah. She can be very funny. Yeah. And then she just never kind of like did anything once The Office was over. She has a podcast with Angela from The Office about The Office, which I always think is so sad. She just did a show at the Goodman.
00:53:13
Speaker
Oh, did she? Oh, yeah, no, she did. I saw that. Yeah, i saw bus ad yeah Yeah, one of my friend's husband's was in it. Yeah? Was it good? I don't know. i didn't see it. and mean I mean, didn't did the husband say it was good?
00:53:27
Speaker
don't know. I didn't see it. Okay, sure. I assume it was good. I mean, he he had a really lovely time, it seems, from all of the social media that I saw. i mean, she took the whole cast. I mean, it was a very small cast. like or people um She took the cast on like a private boat on Lake Michigan.
00:53:45
Speaker
Like one of those like party boats, which was, I feel like if you're a celebrity in a play, like you pretty much have to do shit like that. Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I know that um the other guy from the office, Dwight from the office, when he was doing um the doppelganger at Steppenwolf, he would um always hang out with the cast afterwards at front bar.
00:54:06
Speaker
And he made sure to always have non-alcoholic beer um because it was a very physical show ah behind the behind the bar for him to so that he could have a beer with the cast afterwards.
00:54:18
Speaker
Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Rain Wilson is that man's name. Rain Wilson. Yes. um ah Yes. um The. ah dinner Oh, yeah. So they go on a date and they're both yeah very obviously to get snow cones in in winter, in winter, in they both like the way they're in Montreal.
00:54:40
Speaker
Yes, they're Montréal. Both of them have very obviously been dressed by their friends. ah um She is wearing what can only be described as a Fergie outfit. Yeah. um And I forget what he's wearing, but they're both dressed ridiculously.
00:54:57
Speaker
They bond over their terrible childhoods. You know, yeah she they're both orphans um and they seem to have a nice time. um There's another good Vigena Fisher line where she talks about how her parents died and then he kisses her. And she goes, i never really thought of that as a romantic story. Yes.
00:55:15
Speaker
But he kisses her and it's really bad. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, but with they both look like they've never kissed anyone before. Yeah, yeah. They both don't know how to kiss. And so it's really awkward and bad um as they are enjoying their snow cones. Also, this is um this was actually filmed in Montreal.
00:55:33
Speaker
ah And oh yeah, it seems like it. Yeah, there's that weird building they keep cutting to. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's that's a real building in Montreal. um The river is a real river in Montreal.
00:55:45
Speaker
And I know this because I went on my honeymoon to Montreal. And I've seen all these things. And as we were watching it, I turned to Charlie. I was like, oh, didn't know that like our honeymoon was part um you know tour of the filming locations of Blades of Glory.
00:56:00
Speaker
There you go. There you go. Um, uh, yeah. so then Will Ferrell and Amy, f Amy Poehler tell, uh, Katie that she has to s seduce Will Ferrell to yeah make the, the mad at each other and ruin their chances for, um, for skating.
00:56:17
Speaker
Yep.
00:56:19
Speaker
doesn't want to do it. This is when I stopped taking notes, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, props to you for actually taking notes. ah I was just there for a good time, as evidenced by my personality and my choosing of this film.
00:56:35
Speaker
um Yeah, so there's ah there's a whole bit that happens. It's the it's the day of the show. um with um they all areal he So she goes she goes to his hotel room dressed all sexy, yeah Will Ferrell. He's just come from a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting. Yes! you like I feel like this movie is a little mean to sex addicts. little bit, you think? know that sex addiction is kind of on the fence there between if it's real or not.
00:57:02
Speaker
but I mean, I think it's a real thing. i think it's I think it's probably real. But, you know, a lot of terrible men are going to excuse their behavior by claiming to be a sex addict. addict Oh, absolutely. feel like that kind of blurs that line there.
00:57:15
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. when So, and yeah, yeah. So that's ah that's a whole thorny issue that this movie kind of um takes very very lightly. Yeah.
00:57:28
Speaker
But it is funny when he's outside the Sex addict addicts and not sex Addicts Anonymous and um everybody after the meeting is just making out with one another.
00:57:39
Speaker
Well, the guy like the guy who runs it, who's some minor celebrity. I can't remember who the yeah the guy who runs it was is like, it like turns the flashlight on the, on the thing and everybody like jumps out of the bushes and they're all. yes Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was very funny.
00:57:53
Speaker
Um, so uh, um He goes back to his hotel room. Jenna Fisher is there. He's resisting ah her because obviously she doesn't want to do it either, but her her siblings are making her.
00:58:05
Speaker
John Heater comes to the room. I don't want to upset my my best friend. I don't want to do this to him. And they're having this conversation, but she's dressed all sexily and he's there and they're like...
00:58:17
Speaker
very close hand is on her boob yeah yeah yeah his hand is on her boob and uh and john heater walks in with a bunch of balloons and stuff because she had also called him like the whole thing was like a setup yeah and um and he feels like he's being betrayed and he runs away yeah He brought her a balloon because um they had sex and he thought that she was good at it and deserved a balloon. Oh. um that's That's from No Strings Attached.
00:58:50
Speaker
okay.
00:58:53
Speaker
Oh yeah! We did that movie. Yeah, she he brings her a balloon and she goes, why'd you bring me a balloon? He goes, because I thought you were good at sex and you deserved a balloon. oh um ah so he john John Heater runs out and then Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell kidnap the both of them.
00:59:10
Speaker
Will Ferrell ties John Heater up in the in their practice space next to a giant wall of ice skates, which seems like a terrible idea. Yep. Well, it was a terrible idea.
00:59:21
Speaker
He gets out almost immediately.
Climactic Skating Competition
00:59:23
Speaker
Yep. Will Ferrell. Okay. Now we also, i also watched this movie several days ago and because we moved record time. Yes. What happens with Will? Amy Poehler does something to him. So Will Ferrell is, um,
00:59:38
Speaker
John heater gets kidnapped by Amy Poehler and gets put in the, in the bathrooms of the, oh that's um after he escapes the, the place with the skates with will fair with will Arnett keep calling him. Will Ferrell. No, no, no. Will Ferrell is the one that's kidnapped. They're each kidnapped by one sibling.
00:59:57
Speaker
Oh, oh, you're, oh yeah. Will Ferrell's one who's tied up with rope and yeah get it with a skate. Sorry. he He escapes by cutting himself loose on all of the um ice skates.
01:00:08
Speaker
And then he, he runs and he ends up on the Montreal river and it breaks and he goes under. and There's a whole chase scene with Will Ferrell and Will Arnett. They're on skates. They're trying to go through the, they're on the carpet and on the escalators their ice skates chasing each other.
01:00:28
Speaker
It's cute. Because they're like so fast on ice and then whenever they have to like get off the ice, it's like that awkward sort of like stumble of like. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He eventually falls into the river. John heater is in the bathroom and has like has to eat all this toilet paper to get the key toward him. It's really gross. Yeah. Cause he gets locked up and Amy Poehler throws the key away in the trash, but then something happens to where the trash gets knocked over and he sees it on the floor and it's like,
01:01:00
Speaker
on a piece of toilet paper and so he has to you yeah it's really gross it's just gross yeah it's gross humor uh john heater gets down there and he's ready but will ferrell's not there and they only have the he only has like 30 seconds uh and he's blue and frozen and yeah completely destroyed from being in the river yep and he does broke his leg or something Well, not yet. He breaks his ankle while they're skating. Oh, yeah. um He zip lines down to the to this to the ice and immediately does a quick change and he looks perfect again. Yep.
01:01:35
Speaker
um And they do their routine. Yep. To the great song. um Oh, my God. What is that song? I don't I don't want to miss a thing. It's their first ah the first one they dance to.
01:01:54
Speaker
Oh, really? i thought it was that one. Yeah. Maybe it's both. um I don't remember. I didn't write it down. I stopped taking notes. Yeah, that's okay. um they um So they're dancing and he ah he lands bad and breaks his ankle while they're skating. And he's like, I'm not going to be able to to do the Iron Lotus. And John Peter's like, we'll switch positions. I'll do it to you.
01:02:17
Speaker
Yes. And lo and behold, that was the secret sauce the whole time. ah It was they needed to switch positions because of like, I don't know, science.
01:02:28
Speaker
Oh, oh, oh, yeah. So Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are JFK and Marilyn Monroe. Yes. throws a pearl from her necklace onto the ice and Will Ferrell hits it and that's what breaks his ankle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:02:45
Speaker
And so then they have to do they have to do the Iron Lotus, but they they have to switch positions. And lo and behold, they nail it. yeah And the ice skate shaves one of the hairs off of Will Ferrell's neck, but doesn't cut his head off, doesn't cut his head off.
01:03:02
Speaker
And ah they land there. um They finish it by sliding into each other's groins. They scissor each other. Which is, just leave it with the Iron Lotus. Why did we need that?
01:03:16
Speaker
They do the thing where they're like skating and their skates are sparking off of each other. And I'm like, they don't do that in figure skating, do they? Does anybody ever do that? No. No. No. Not delighted. Most of these moves are illegal, I'm sure. Yes. these are. possible yeah And And so very much not these actors doing it.
01:03:36
Speaker
Oh, my God. It's so obviously green screen. Every time it cuts to a close up of them, it looks so fake with the green screen behind them. yeah Exactly. and i I think that's part of the point. The tongue in cheekness.
01:03:47
Speaker
ah Yeah. And they nail it and they win. And ah Will Arnett and Amy Poehler get arrested. By the Mounties with what's his name? Andy Richter.
01:04:01
Speaker
kiss Because Will Arnett shot shot um ah the the like the mascot mascot of the Winter Games with a bow and arrow. Yeah. Yeah. And he's just like, it's that one. And it's just so fucking funny.
01:04:18
Speaker
of them make out before as they're being dragged away by the Mounties. Yep. Yep. and ah And then Jenna Fisher and um John Heater, they get together again and ah they forgive each other and they have one last kiss and she goes, you've been practicing. Yeah. And then John Heater and Will Ferrell win the gold and then they fly away ah with their skates as rockets and they turn into shooting stars and explode and that's the end.
01:04:47
Speaker
And that's the end of the movie. Boy, oh boy Dumbass movie. i've I've been thinking about all the movies that I pitch for this podcast, and I have very much a vibe and an aesthetic. and Yeah. ah you know I'm here for, if you love romanticy or stupid, dumb 2000s comedies, I'm your girl.
01:05:11
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. ah Yeah. And i don't know. i Do I have a... Do I have a... Yours is like... Yeah, you do. Yours is like very much... um You're the the thinking movies. Sure.
01:05:26
Speaker
Yeah. You're the intellectual one You're the intellectual one. a get tag cast that way sometimes. Yeah. yu ah you you do You do the thinking movies and the serious movies. And I picked the dumb, dumb ones or the costume dramas.
01:05:44
Speaker
Sure. Okay. Yeah. um Well, that's Blades of Glory. Not yeah really a rom-com. There's rom. There is com. I count it as a win. It is for the Olympics.
01:05:56
Speaker
Yeah. Happy Olympics. Happy Olympics. ah USA does it The Olympians deserve all the medals. This country does not. Sure. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. yes yes People are better than governments. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I saw that there was the a man did a quadruple um axle for the first time.
01:06:24
Speaker
So that's, that's big skating news. That's all I got. Yeah. I mean, like, honestly, just look at the, um, Blade Angels, like Team USA figure skating team. Are they going to win?
01:06:37
Speaker
I think so. I think Amber Glenn is going to, she's fucking fantastic. Um, and Alyssa Liu is also amazing. And the other one's also good. Um,
01:06:51
Speaker
The Michelle Williams of the Destiny's Child. Yeah, they're all really good. um They just, i I mean, obviously, because I can't do anything that they do. Do you ice skate a lot? do did you Have you been ice skating a lot?
01:07:06
Speaker
I used to. i have figure skates. I want to skate more. When Charlie and I first moved to the city um and my parents gifted us for Christmas one year some figure skates,
01:07:19
Speaker
I am because they figure skates as opposed to ice skates. They're ice skates. Sorry. Yeah. Or are they? I was asking if they were different. Um, figure skates are like a little bit more like bendy and pretty.
01:07:32
Speaker
They might just be regular ice skates. Um, but I used to take figure skating lessons when I was little. I wasn't very good because I have weak ankles. Um, but I always have loved the sport.
01:07:44
Speaker
Um, anything with a cool costume, Katie, it's, me yeah, I gotta love a costume. You gotta love a costume. You gotta love sparkles. Um, and, uh, and so we, Charlie and I used to go ice skating a lot. Um, we went in Lincoln park, um, one year, ah and he got made fun of by a six year old because he can't skate.
01:08:08
Speaker
Oh, that's mean. And it was really funny. And she went up to him. i was like skating around and she went up to him and she went, ah why can't you? I skate. I'm six and I can skate. ha ha. It's been my favorite quote to quote on him. Damn. He got told off by a six-year-old. And then he was like, I'm British. And she was like, oh, sorry. Okay, I get it. Nope. Nope.
01:08:33
Speaker
That is not how that went. She skated away and he was stuck holding on to the side. um He tries. He just, he needs a chair. To like push around. and Because my parents live in adorable suburbia Chicago.
01:08:48
Speaker
um Both the baseball field in Lake Bluff and in Lake Forest. They flood every year so that you can just go skate anytime. And you just bring your own skates.
01:09:00
Speaker
And it's super fun. And we've been and it's a very like suburban thing to just like bring like a random chair if you can't skate to hold on to. to push around. yeah I get that.
Challenges with Ice Skating
01:09:13
Speaker
And ah so we used to do that a lot, but that his skates were hurting his feet. I want to get back to it, but um a he needs to build up the tolerance in his ankle.
01:09:25
Speaker
I see. Yeah. and Weak ankles. I have ice skating exactly one time. I went with my sisters. Yeah. And I believe I was in college at the time. We were all adults.
01:09:36
Speaker
And um we went skating. I think i think maybe Laura had ice skated before, but I think Angela and I had never, neither one of us had ever ice skated before. And we all did okay. Like, I never fell. I didn't fall down once.
01:09:50
Speaker
There you go. um But did okay. I went roller skating a lot as a kid. Oh, that'll help. And... um But really rollerblading will
Roller Skating Memories
01:09:59
Speaker
help. Well, i went, yeah, rollerblading, you know, it was the nineties. Yeah. But also roller skating. I remember like there was a kid in one of my elementary school classes who every year had a big party at the, um, like parks and rec roller rink. um Um, it was and then when I was doing, when I was like in between, um,
01:10:21
Speaker
ah school years we I went to summer like daycare kind of thing it was called summer educare and we went to the we went to the roller skating rink at least once a week yeah oh nice nice we used to go ice skating every winter growing up so yeah yeah yeah it's a Midwest versus southern upbringing for sure yeah oh for sure absolutely uh what film are we doing next week Katie Next week, we are going to watch a explicitly
Preview of 'Longshot'
01:10:49
Speaker
a rom-com. Yeah.
01:10:53
Speaker
The unlikely pairing of Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron. We're going to watch Longshot.
Experiences with 'Longshot'
01:11:00
Speaker
Oh! I've never seen this. This is the first one that we're going do that Sean, or Sean, that's my brother, um that Charlie has seen because he watched it with my brother Sean, but I have not seen.
01:11:11
Speaker
Oh, it's cute. I like it. Yeah, yeah. he I remember him saying that he liked it. And I bet you whenever we put this on, he'll say that he's never seen it before because he won't remember. sure yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:11:21
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you gotta watch about 20 minutes of the before you realize you've seen it before. Well, he also just has a very bad memory. Oh, well. I find it a selective memory, but you know, teach the wrong.
Podcast Outro
01:11:35
Speaker
Anyway, shall we outro?
01:11:37
Speaker
Let's outro.
01:11:40
Speaker
Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Girl. If you like us, tell your friends and please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It helps out a lot and we would really appreciate it. Thanks to you, Andrew Milliken and Nick Svoboda for our theme music and Elena Henderson for our artwork.
01:11:55
Speaker
You can follow us on Instagram at gogetyourgirlpod or email us at gogetyourgirlpod at gmail.com. You can follow me and only me on social media at emilympizza. Until next time, we're just two girls.
01:12:08
Speaker
Standing in front of the internet. Asking it to love us. Good night. Good night.