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00:00:01
The Bee Movie
1 Playsin 1 hour
Yes, friends, you guessed it. It's time for the mother-fucking Bee Movie. Listen as Emma and Katie break down the most unconvential and most BEE-zy movie yet. Why did they cut a fabulous musical number with Matthew Broderick and Jerry Seinfield? How did this idea come about? And WHY oh why are the girlies covering it on the pod? BUZZZZZ in to find out!!
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Transcript
Can podcasts use explicit titles?
00:00:01
Speaker
Boy, oh boy, Katie. Boy. Wow, I started that off great. You sure did. I'm leaving this in. Oh, no, it's your edit. Damn. Boy, oh boy, Katie. They thought, couldn't be done.
00:00:15
Speaker
Couldn't be done. These two funny gals couldn't take the impossible and do a podcast episode on it. oh I still didn't know what you were talking about. I thought you were going to go another direction.
00:00:30
Speaker
Nope, nope. We're jumping right into it. I'm going in the direction of B-movie. I know that our podcast is listed as explicit. Does that mean we could title this episode The Fucking B-movie?
00:00:41
Speaker
Is that allowed? I actually have no idea. i think you can I think podcast names can have swears in it. I think they can. I don't see why not. Yeah. Fucking B movie.
B-movie's cultural resurgence and rom-com debate
00:00:52
Speaker
I mean, like I feel like I'm going to go search on like podcasts. it's your Oh my but No, i not for the B movie.
00:01:03
Speaker
It looks like a lot of these have them in their description. Oh, okay. Fuck is in the description of the episode. Let's see. Yeah, maybe because like if it pops up.
00:01:19
Speaker
Oh, yeah you like yeah. Here's one. Here's one I have that is ah that's got the word fuck in the title. OK. Yeah. I feel like read the title my other podcast ah you used did it did it before. So. Oh, nice. Nice. So it is doable. It's totally doable. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't in charge of that calling it that. So, yeah, it's totally doable.
00:01:40
Speaker
The fucking B movie. The fucking movie. The fucking B movie. I mean, what a world were trying do. What is it?
00:01:51
Speaker
2012? I know. This movie has seen many resurgences in popular culture, and I feel like we're going to bring it back. No, we're not. third time. Or a fourth time.
00:02:02
Speaker
There was the time it came out in theaters. There was the time that that YouTube video came out where the movie speeds up every time they say B. Yeah. there were There were lots and lots of of memes ah related to to the B-movie. There were... ah What was it? There was one where... like It's like reading through the script as fast as you can. There's a lot of of nonsense. ah Millennial memery related to the to the fucking B-movie.
00:02:31
Speaker
Yeah, the fucking B-movie. um But before we dive into... This is a some might call it cinematic masterpiece before we jump the shark completely.
00:02:45
Speaker
it made it 127 episodes before it's come to. So it's come to this.
Personal stories and podcast influence on movie watching
00:02:55
Speaker
I mean, on so many levels, do we need to discuss it? Because at its core, it is a rom-com. It's not really. um it is. but we'll get We'll get to it. You wanted to digress a minute ago.
00:03:09
Speaker
oh yeah. How are you, Katie? How's it going? I'm good. I'm good. I'm going to look real quick. You talk about something because I'm going to look and to find what what episode is the least popular that we've released.
00:03:20
Speaker
Oh, okay. You're going to rate it against this? Yeah, I want the B-movie to be our least listened episode. I don't think, I i ah highly doubt that that's going to happen. I think people are going to see B-movie and they're going to be like, yes, I need to listen to these two gals just yap away about how and why this rom-com still holds up today.
00:03:47
Speaker
it doesn't. None of those words accurately describe what's happened. Yeah. We have so many questions. I mean, I found myself personally questioning, um you know, humanity, um myself.
B-movie references in 30 Rock and Jerry Seinfeld's cultural impact
00:04:02
Speaker
um What is a world? What is a world? What? yeah So many times.
00:04:13
Speaker
um And, and yeah, and i I think that this movie, I should have watched it on an edible, but I watched it stone cold sober, just like I did cats.
00:04:24
Speaker
say And um missed opportunity because I don't know what I'm going to watch this again. i feel like my brain can only handle one watch of the B movie. No, we'll never watch it again. This is it. This is it for the B movie and both of us. Yeah. Yep.
00:04:39
Speaker
No, never, never. um the answer it The answer is Under the Tuscan Sun is our least listened episode of all time. yeah People don't like Diane Lane.
00:04:52
Speaker
um
Jerry Seinfeld's inspiration and humor analysis
00:04:55
Speaker
Surely not. Surely that can't be it. It's also our shortest episode. um So our shortest episode is our least listened episode.
00:05:04
Speaker
Our most listened episode is our first episode still. Yeah. Which is like close to what? Like three hours. No, it's not. It's, it's actually not even our longest episode. Our longest episode. I'll have you remember, I believe is twilight.
00:05:16
Speaker
Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, um, again, but yeah, the b movie, there's so many layers that our our first episode is our most listened because people like, Oh, I'll give that a try. I'll start from the beginning And they listen to one episode and they're like, Nope.
00:05:34
Speaker
Not for me. They listen to one episode and then they got to just keep slowly going. But then they like pick cherry pick which ones they want to do. I think so, too. I mean, that's true of me. i There's a lot of podcasts that I won't listen to if i've if I haven't seen the movie. which Exactly. Yeah. um We do spoil the movies on this. So that makes sense. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. um Yeah. But how you doing, Katie? How's life?
00:05:58
Speaker
um I'm good. Yeah. Good. Good, good, good. Everything is um getting wet and cold around here for the week, um which I guess is to be expected after it was so beautiful for so long. So just like how I like it.
00:06:14
Speaker
Wet and cold. Wet and cold, baby. Like how I like my men. Wet and cold. Wet and cold. And English. And English. Well, some might say Charlie's always a wet blanket. Aww. Aww.
00:06:31
Speaker
I've been re-watching 30 Rock. Oh, so good. And over-identifying with Liz Lemon. but i mean, not over-identifying. For those of you have not who have not seen 30 Rock, that's not that's not what you want. You don't want to be Liz Lemon.
First experiences and genre classification of B-movie
00:06:46
Speaker
But yet, everybody's Liz Lemon. She is me. I am you. don't know about that i feel like i'm like a 60 40 mix of liz lemon and jenna yeah um ah where are uh i don't know what the secondary character would be for me maybe kenneth i was gonna say kenneth
00:07:11
Speaker
um a 60 40 split kenneth and liz lemon No, I think I'm, I'm, I'm unfortunately a lot more of Liz Lemon than 60%. Um, just especially because she's like, you know, she's single, but like, she doesn't want to date anybody yeah because everybody's a, it's a huge pain in the ass. And like, I get that. Yep.
00:07:35
Speaker
And like, she eats poorly and doesn't exercise and, uh, wastes all of her free time and, um, all of that. I, uh, I've just been identifying with a little bit like like in a way like a cautionary tale 30 Rock is cautionary tale were just like Jesus I gotta get my life together I don't want to end up like Lemon but but like things work out so well for Lemon she has Chris I haven't gotten that far i haven't gotten that far I don't remember that I've only seen like the last half of 30 Rock probably I've only seen once I think Oh, it's my comfort show. I have seen oh really that show over and over and over again. There's some things that don't hold up well. Oh, 1000%. There's a lot of things that don't hold hold up well. But do still love it? Yes. Not to mention the um the number of times they used blackface and they all those episodes got pulled from streaming.
00:08:25
Speaker
Oh, really? oh yeah. There's like, I think, five episodes that aren't available for streaming because NBC pulled them. Because Jenna does blackface. I think so, and I think that there's some other things as well, which, like, again... But that was part of the joke, was the fact that Jenna tried to... I know, I know. It's a zero-tolerance policy. It's the same thing with throat It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Both of those shows are...
00:08:47
Speaker
you know, they're not using blackface in a way that is traditional. And in fact, the episode of 30 Rock where they they
Production challenges and reception of B-movie
00:08:54
Speaker
do it, at least the first episode that they do it, which I watched online, um because I just because I wanted to watch all the episodes, not because I like I had to have blackface. ah Thank you for clarifying.
00:09:07
Speaker
Um, it's, they, they even have one of the black characters like directly address the camera and talk about like how blackface is harmful because of this. And it's still today. Like be this is, this is the reason that this, yeah and you know, it's definitely done tongue in cheek and it's definitely done like intentionally. And the same thing with always sunny,
00:09:27
Speaker
It's, um, but it's just a zero tolerance policy on behalf of those networks. They don't want to deal with the headache of it. Um, yeah even though in, there are racist and homophobic and transphobic things in 30 Rock, the, the blackface, at least in that first episode. And again, from a white person saying this, um, is not, is not a, um,
00:09:48
Speaker
it's not that It's not by far the the most like upsetting thing and on the show. yeah I mean, Jenna's character in the first season, her whole spiel um that she did on the Gorilla show was the overly confident, mormond or ah morbidly obese woman.
00:10:08
Speaker
Yeah, there's a lot of fat phobia as well. Yeah, it's pretty bad. There's a lot of um there's a lot of that. yeah It's 20 years old. It's the 20th anniversary of the first season of 30 Rock, which is crazy. to say That's insane. i love 30 Rock so much. yeah i'm in like i'm in Right now, it's the Julianne Moore and um oh yeah Elizabeth Banks like triangle with with ah Jack. That's what I'm watching. Jack Donaghy.
Creative checks and factual inaccuracies in B-movie
00:10:36
Speaker
jack donagy yeah Jack Donahue. is it know Jack Donahue. Jack Donahue. And Elaine Stritch is on there. I forgot about that. Patti LuPone is on it i love it. I love it when shows shoot in New York and they get all the theater actors to come on. yeah i mean, ah fucking Cheyenne Jackson.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah, Cheyenne Jackson is the frickin' um the tin man like that they hire. It's great. It's great. It's great. Yeah, um yeah absolutely. So that was 30 Rock Corner.
00:11:06
Speaker
That's 30 Rock Corner. ah lo do dooooooo i am reading a book that I think you'd enjoy. It's bizarre, but it's really fun and dumb.
00:11:17
Speaker
And the audiobook is only six hours. So like it's taken me 24 hours to to read this book. It's so quick. um Have you read Patricia Wants to Cuddle? No.
00:11:29
Speaker
Patricia Wants to Cuddle. Look up look up the cover of it. all right The last thing in this Google the last thing this google tab is Kramer as a clown. Kramer as a clown! ah Which is also something you had in Google.
00:11:42
Speaker
Yes, it is. And now we're going to Google Patricia Wants to Cuddle.
00:11:49
Speaker
Samantha Lee Allen. Yep. Oh, God. Sorry. Oh, yes. I've seen this in stores. Yeah. yeah it's It's so fun and dumb. It's about like a faux bachelor. it's ah It's a gay horror. Bigfoot kind of thing? Yeah.
00:12:08
Speaker
It's a gay Bigfoot book. And that's the best way to describe it. But it's not like it's it's not like super in-your-face gay. like as I thought it was going to be when I went into it. Because it's like, it like won a GLAD award and all this other stuff.
00:12:24
Speaker
But like, It's just really more about Bigfoot and The Bachelor. Okay. And I'm like, okay, but wherere when when do we get the, the like, gay vigilantes?
00:12:36
Speaker
When do we get the gay vigilantes? Gay vigilantes? You know? Like, being like, love is love. Yeah. Yeah. i'm I'm discovering that I think like bubblegum horror and LGBT horror are my favorite genres of horror because it's all like done tongue in cheek. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And um so like anytime that like someone who's been wronged gets to like violently lash out.
00:13:07
Speaker
I love it. Yeah. I'm reading Hungerstone right now. It's a trans woman author. Oh, is it? Yeah.
00:13:17
Speaker
who Wow. Yeah, she has several other things, too. and It's pretty good. Cool. If you want a book that like says summer because it takes place in the outdoors. Sure.
00:13:29
Speaker
Read Patricia Wants the Puddle. There we go. That's our recommendation. And you um can get it from anywhere you want. Yeah, you can get it from the library. You can get it from a bookstore. you can get it Unless one of these places wants to sponsor us.
00:13:43
Speaker
Yep. Yep. sponsor us um anyways that was a fun little side note and we touched on some non-bee related things but uh let's not be
Narrative inconsistencies and humor analysis of B-movie
00:13:57
Speaker
the outdoors famously featured famously featured in today's film uh that's right guys this is go get your girl this is the podcast where um and katie are just two bees okay Living in a hive.
00:14:15
Speaker
And one of them just wants, wants, you know, sort of like, you know, Bell's reprise much more than I want much more than this provincial life. That is Barry B. Benson's tagline.
00:14:30
Speaker
yeah we We just want we want to do something different. And we just can't imagine our lives doing the same job until we die. Because that seems insane. But everybody else tells us to be more B.
00:14:46
Speaker
So we we we take a little... What if the little army... Air Force bees takes a chance on us out of a joke and lets us go flying with them where we get a little lost in the herd because rain and life happens, tennis.
00:15:05
Speaker
And and we we meet a person who's, you know, not be phobic.
00:15:16
Speaker
And we create a connection with her. um Yes, that's right. She's a florist placed by Renee Zellweger. You've now made it a lesbian three-way relationship in dish in addition to being... um interspecies I want to point out is much more controversial already well what did I say love is love um and we love Renee Zellweger the florist and create connection with her but also through creating a connection with her discover that
00:15:54
Speaker
Humans have access to honey? What is this? And we're not seeing the the goddamn scent from it. That's really ridiculous. ah And so then we turn into this whole, like, you know, gotta sue the human race plotline.
00:16:09
Speaker
And um it's literally whole movie. And.
00:16:16
Speaker
And then other things happen. That's right. I'll leave a little for the pod. so that Leave the last 15 minutes. Leave the last 15 minutes for the pod. um I'm Emma. And I'm Katie. And of course, today we were talking about the fucking B-movie. The fucking B-movie. Or can you do a Jerry Seinfeld? I can't do a Jerry Seinfeld. The fucking B-movie! The B-movie!
00:16:40
Speaker
The B-movie! the be That was really good. The B-movie! This is just how I talk. It's the 30 Rock reference. Yeah, I know. I know it is. I told you. Are you imitating me?
00:16:53
Speaker
know. This is just the way I am, Seth. This is how I talk.
00:16:58
Speaker
And pretty sure that he references the B movie. Oh, yeah. That's when he was promoted. That's why he was guesting it. Yeah. Yeah.
B-movie's comedic legacy and writing team exploration
00:17:04
Speaker
They yeah have a little, they have it on in the background of one of the TV shows. and then he direct to camera ah says B movie in theaters November, 2007. Yeah.
00:17:14
Speaker
So this movie is from 2007, 19 years ago. Yeah. Directed by... Directed by... It shouldn't, though. Directed by Steve Hickner and um Simon J. Smith. Now, Steve Hickner co-directed The Prince of Egypt.
00:17:33
Speaker
Oh! And a bunch of animated TV trash, such as Kung Fu Panda, The Emperor's Quest. Not even Kung Fu Panda 1? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. no Direct-to-DVD or direct-to-streaming animated, like, specials. Like, 40 minutes of, like, you know, Madagascar side stories. ah Yeah.
00:17:54
Speaker
Simon J. Smith directed the theatrically released Penguins of Madagascar. Yeah. And this, and then a bunch of TV animated trash, like Shrek Thrilling Tales and Megamind Button of a Doom.
00:18:08
Speaker
Ha ha! It's so funny that you mention both Shrek and the Prince of Egypt in like the same breath, because I have a fun fact that has nothing to do with.
00:18:19
Speaker
Well, do you think we'll ever do Shrek on this podcast? I can't see how. You can't see how we can do Shrek? No, don't take that as a challenge. I don't want to Shrek.
00:18:33
Speaker
Katie. No. Okay. Well, then I'll give you this fun fact for free. So this is the first of Emma's fun facts. Emma's fun facts. Not related to the movie because she just loves fun facts.
00:18:48
Speaker
It's new. thank you thank you so very much uh did you know that uh during the making of the prince of egypt uh whenever an animator would like make a massive fuck up or like mess up on the animation because it was like this huge budget like biblical masterpiece that they were predicting were was going to like make dream work studio like they put all of their eggs and in the um In the Prince of Egypt basket, which I mean, if you can tell by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston being the two singers of the main song that was released, obviously, and the cast is fucking stacked. Like, it's a beautiful, great film, but it yeah it did not make DreamWorks like blow up overnight.
00:19:34
Speaker
Did not? Was it not a big hit? I thought it was. it was a it was a moderate hit, but like... or maybe just like as time has gone But it Shrek. It wasn't Shrek. And the funny thing is, is that the people that would...
00:19:47
Speaker
fuck up on the Prince of Egypt as a punishment. um The animated, the manager of the the studio would then um relocate them to work on this lesser film that wasn't getting as much attention and not as much love because they thought it was going to be a flop.
00:20:05
Speaker
That movie was Shrek. And they called it being Shrek'd. um You got moved from the Prince of Egypt to Shrek means you fucked up and you just got Shrek'd.
00:20:17
Speaker
ah So a lot of the Prince of Egypt and Shrek shared animators. And then Shrek turned out to be huge. And the Prince of Egypt was pretty good. Yeah. um Yeah. i mean, all these movies, all these things are DreamWorks. That's so so something, you know, these people are our DreamWorks guys. Yeah. This movie was written by Jerry Seinfeld.
00:20:38
Speaker
um ah Spike Ferriston. thought you were about to say Spike Lee. Yeah. ah No, six writers on this. We have Seinfeld, Spike Ferriston, Barry Marder, Chuck Martin, Tom Papa, and on this one, Andy Robin.
00:20:58
Speaker
So Chuck Martin and Tom Papa have additional dialogue, buy additional material by credits, which is odd. I'm not 100% sure what that is. They're on the IMD page, but they're not in the opening credits. um Because, like, there's Punch-Up, but Punch-Up writers don't have to be credited at all. um yeah Not even an IMDb. So I'm not sure what their their role was. Something higher than Punch-Up, but less than a screenplay credit. Yeah, yeah.
00:21:23
Speaker
Um, but Seinfeld, Spike, Ferriston, Barry Martyr, and Andy Robin all have ampersands, meaning, so the four of them wrote this movie, like, in a room together. Yep. And they are all Seinfeld guys. Um, ah so Spike Ferriston wrote for Seinfeld. He also wrote the script for Unfrosted, Jerry Seinfeld's infamous, um, directorial, uh, he directed that, right? Directorial debut?
00:21:45
Speaker
I feel like yes. Um, about Pop-Tarts that was made last year that was widely considered the worst movie of 2005. 2024, sorry. It is directed by Jerry Seinfeld, yes. was gonna say, It was 2024. Um, and, um, uh, he also had a late night talk
Narrative direction and cinematic elements
00:22:08
Speaker
show show on Fox called Talk Show with Spike Ferenstain, which I've never heard of, but it ran for three seasons. Never of that. but I mean, Fox had the Chevy Chase show. Like, Fox was trying to do a late night show for a while and none of them worked.
00:22:20
Speaker
They had lot of things. Barry Marder, who worked on a movie called Unfrosted from 2024. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Andy, who also wrote for... um and It did not just this was not a Seinfeld writer, but wrote.
00:22:35
Speaker
There was this book, like when I was a little kid, I remember reading, like sitting in a bookstore, reading this book is called Letters from a Nut. And there's like a bunch of them, like Letters from a Nut 2, Letters from a Nut 3. And they would always be in the humor section, which I would like look at when we were in a bookstore. And I remember, I never bought it or anything because I was like a little kid and these were probably a little older than I would have understood.
00:22:56
Speaker
But it was basically where this comedian would write a letter to a you know, um or an email to a, ah you know, business or something and just make up like some crazy story, like pretend that this happened. And then they would have the responses from the people in the book as well. And eventually that became a TV show. Apparently IMDb. I don't know.
00:23:16
Speaker
It's like a Comedy Central thing. But um he was the writer behind that. Very Martyr. Very interesting. Then we have Eddie Robin who wrote for Seinfeld and also has a screenplay credit on a movie called Unfrosted. Oh my God. Did these all work on an Unfrosted? So him and his three friends wrote this movie and despite it being...
00:23:36
Speaker
Definitely the worst movie we've done for this podcast and maybe the worst movie of all time. He didn't change the writing crew when and he decided to write another movie. He's like, no, look at the same guys. He likes writing with them. He likes working with them.
00:23:49
Speaker
Probably blamed a lot of the failures of the B-movie on productions. uh as many you know actors and writers tend to do um this is gonna bring me into the first of emma's fun facts emma's fun facts actually about the movie um jerry seinfeld was inspired to write this film by his wife who became a beekeeper because oh they have a giant mansion i assume in new jersey Now his wife is after he dated the high schooler, right? He didn't marry the high schooler. He yeah only dated the high schooler, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Woof. Remember that everyone? Remember when Jerry Seinfeld dated a high schooler? Now you do. Google it. When he was what? Like 32 and she 17. Something, something like that. I believe he was 40, but it doesn't matter. Yep, yep. No, his wife that he has children with, um he she became she got into beekeeping and ah he started to get really jealous of all the attention that all these bees were getting. and so he wrote this film as an extreme of what would happen.
00:24:58
Speaker
he's the Patrick Warburton character? is. This is semi-autobiographical for Terry Seinfeld. Terrible. Terrible. Were you a Seinfeld person? Were you into Seinfeld?
00:25:10
Speaker
I was never into Seinfeld. I was a little young, but I remember watching Seinfeld. I would watch Seinfeld with my parents every Thursday. We would watch Friends and Seinfeld. And then my parents would watch ER and I would go to bed.
00:25:23
Speaker
Yeah. um But i um I liked Friends. And I definitely like got to like Seinfeld too. Because when I got a little older, it was like on TBS all the time. and I would watch a ton of Seinfeld. I got way into Seinfeld. Always.
00:25:36
Speaker
um And then I remember not even that long ago, because, you know, it's a joke now that Seinfeld is not funny anymore. But like, I remember when Seinfeld came out on DVD, my sister got me, I think the first like two box sets ah on DVD for Christmas.
00:25:53
Speaker
And I started watching them with her that night and we were like, well, this is hard to watch. And it was like, it was like 2006 or something. so it wasn't even that far ah removed from the actual Seinfeld. And it was already at that point where it's like this thing where it's um that they call it the Seinfeld effect where it's like, because Seinfeld broke so much ground and because it was so different than anything else and everybody copied it since they The people who copied it are you know could still still considered funny and Seinfeld is not. Seinfeld is way too dated because Seinfeld had to you know create all its ground on this ground itself, whereas the yeah shows that innovated on Seinfeld didn't have to build that.
00:26:37
Speaker
um you know, groundwork and they just had got to, you know, stand on the the shoulder of a giant, so to speak. Yeah. um So like, as the kids would put it, ah Seinfeld walked so that those shows could run.
00:26:49
Speaker
Is that how the kids put it? That is how the kids put it. Okay. So sorry. um ah And um so, yeah, I have not seen Seinfeld in a very, very long time at this point. Probably not since those DVDs.
00:27:02
Speaker
um And that was almost 20 years ago. So. I just always remember it being on like when I wanted a different show to be on. Like, I remember it being on, like, before The Simpsons, if I was at my grandparents. yeah, yeah, yeah. that was the only place that I could watch The Simpsons.
00:27:20
Speaker
um You weren't allowed to watch The Simpsons? No. Oh, I think we've had this conversation before. Yeah, my mom thought it was bad TV for, well, number one, she hated animation puppets. She hated animation? I think she took some of that um bias But you you saw like Disney movies. Oh, yeah. She she liked she likes musicals. She's not an animal.
00:27:44
Speaker
But so non non-musical animated, your mom doesn't like? Yeah. ah So we weren't. And also like I think probably, i don't know, like ABC News or something did a segment about how...
00:27:57
Speaker
Simpsons was bad for the youth of America. Simpsons is good for the youth of America. Simpsons is... Yeah. And so she wouldn't let us watch it. And ah the only place we were able to watch it was at my grandma's house because she didn't know. And um occasionally my Uncle Danny's kids would...
00:28:14
Speaker
my cousins from my uncle Danny would be over and they loved Beavis and Butthead. And so we would watch Beavis and Butthead. We'd watch um The Simpsons. And I just always remember Seinfeld being on like before The Simpsons and me being like, okay, let's wrap this up now. Who cares? It was on for like, from like five to seven every day on like Fox and TBS and all of the, yeah.
00:28:39
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It was, um, I just remember being annoyed every time I saw him in front of that, uh, that brick wall. win but boom boom boomng pong Yep. Being like, this isn't funny.
00:28:51
Speaker
Give me the Simpsons. Simpsons is funny. Simpsons is funny. Um, ah I'm going to go on a limb and say Simpsons better than Seinfeld. Um, I'm i'm going to have to agree with that.
00:29:02
Speaker
Sorry, mom. So, yeah, um I saw this movie in theaters. Yeah. why don't know why. That surprised me. That surprised me, too, but I definitely saw it.
00:29:12
Speaker
I don't remember if, because I would have been in college. I don't remember... if it was like, did we think it'd be funny? Did I see it? Well, it came out in November. So yeah I guess I must have come to see the fucking B movie with some like friends from school.
00:29:29
Speaker
Right. I mean, like, was it like your Thanksgiving movie? Like the movie you see, you know, the Friday after Thanksgiving. Maybe, maybe, maybe I saw it with my parents. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe, um maybe you saw that like Jerry Seinfeld had written it and you were like, Oh yeah, i used to really love Seinfeld. Let me go see this movie.
00:29:45
Speaker
It could be we saw it with my like nephews and niece maybe like my sisters were in town for Thanksgiving and maybe we saw that because I remember we saw the Polar Express that what that way and um my nephew who was like you know really young like four years old or something was like that was bad and we're like yeah yeah it was.
00:30:07
Speaker
Don't let him watch ah the um Tom Hanks Christmas Carol. um jim carrey christmas carol sorry the jim carrey christmas carol yeah i make woodton yeah yeah um same director uh that guy's a freak terrifying absolutely terrifying um but in in my honest opinion and and in my heart i know that there is only one christmas carol film that anyone should ever be allowed of course yeah and that is muppet christmas carol yeah obviously um Yeah, so we're 30 minutes in and we haven't started, which is probably good because we could wrap this up at about 15, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:30:46
Speaker
But I mean, like, could we, Katie? Because I did i mean, I don't know about you, but I had a lot of questions because unlike you- questions. I did not see this in theaters. Charlie and I had never seen this. You had never seen it. Okay.
00:30:59
Speaker
We only knew about it from the references that they made fun of it on 30 Rock with. Just like that's how we only know of- um Is it Guardians of the... Not Guardians of the Galaxy, but Legends of G'Hool or whatever. movie about owls. Oh, sure. It's an owl movie. It was actually an owl movie. They make fun of that on 30 Rock. haven't gotten that far. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's great. It's one of my favorite bits. It's when she's on an airplane.
00:31:25
Speaker
It's really good. ah Yeah. so like that this is the that was the only that thing that I knew about the B movie until... friend of the pod, Hannah. She...
00:31:38
Speaker
she We were talking at one of my jobs at Quinnipiac. This is an adult woman, right? This is not a child. This is an adult woman. this is an adult. This is an adult.
00:31:50
Speaker
An adult woman. ah And we were we were chatting and she was talking about the B movie. And the way she was talking it, was like, could you classify that as a rom-com? She goes, absolutely, i could you could.
00:32:01
Speaker
this That is 100% rom-com. not 100% a Less than Google said absolutely that movie is a rom-com. You should trust a i do it on the podcast. um It told me that. and um Legally Blonde is more of a rom-com than this movie.
00:32:23
Speaker
That's true. There's no kissing in it, but would we want kissing? No, we wouldn't. And also, like it's very ambiguous as to what happens at the end, too. like there's no It's just that he has like a crush on her and then it's not spoken of again because I feel like they they realized it was weird.
00:32:38
Speaker
And this is a movie that I know this isn't true because that's not how you make movies. And that's especially not how you make yeah animated movies. But it seems like this movie was shot in sequence and they were just getting pages the day of.
00:32:51
Speaker
And they were just putting it together as they went and making shit up. And the ending is like a million miles from where the movie starts. yeah Like this has so many turns.
00:33:03
Speaker
But first I want to say the poster for this movie is says, Honey just got funny. movie. Which I feel like is a crime and should prosecuted as such.
00:33:19
Speaker
Because if there's one thing this movie- Honey got funny. Listen, this movie, you could argue that it's a rom-com. No one can argue that the movie is funny. I don't know. Charlie laughed several times during this movie. Oh my God, Charlie. Charlie.
00:33:36
Speaker
At what? At what did he laugh? There were just several sequences that were just so dumb they were funny. It was like a fucking I don't know meeting of the Anabaptists at my house watching this.
00:33:53
Speaker
Let me ask you. Stony silence. yeah As you were watching and yeah great emma it. Angry. Eating pimento cheese on a baguette.
00:34:09
Speaker
Which would have been delightful under utter under different circumstances. I just asked Charlie, would you say that you liked the B movie more than Moonlight? Oh, sorry. Moonlight? Moonstruck. Sorry. Moonstruck. Well, Moonstruck is a masterpiece um that is, it's just an established fact. You don't need to.
00:34:30
Speaker
Oh, he said, of course. That's insane. It's an insane opinion. Would you put it in the same category?
00:34:41
Speaker
as but Oh, what's what's that movie? Decoy Jazz Ramsey. Jazz Ramsey is the worst movie we've ever done on this podcast. And this is definitely in that category.
00:34:51
Speaker
They're all the ones that Emma has picked. To be fair, to be fair, I enjoy a bad movie. Emma, you you you you picked them knowing they were bad. You didn't pick them because you think the movies are good.
00:35:04
Speaker
Yeah, I picked them knowing that they were bad. Just like I picked Sweet Home Alabama knowing it was bad. Yeah, he wouldn't say that he would put in in the same category as um Decoy Bride, but he would, I won't even deign to ask him what how he compares it to Princess Bride.
00:35:22
Speaker
um quiet Chilling. He does like it more than Moonstruck. That's an insane opinion, Charles. Oh, and he's typing.
00:35:33
Speaker
There is a vast array of films between Moonstruck and Decoy Bride. In terms of his rankings. um Yeah. Decoy Bride is better than this movie. Decoy Bride is a step above. Decoy Bride is in the Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah.
00:35:48
Speaker
Failure to launch. Failure to launch window. don't think would put failure to launch there. Failure launch was bad. ah Failure to launch is bad. I also think Decoy Bride and Sweet Home Alabama are bad. I like those movies maybe less than you do.
00:36:01
Speaker
those Those movies are watchable. um ah Yeah, Failure to Launch is pretty tough. It's been a while on Failure to Launch. Failure to Launch is pretty rough, yeah. Oh, come on, Charles.
00:36:12
Speaker
Sorry, he said he likes it more of them. Yeah, again, like, Charlie has terrible opinions about movies. That's why you and I do this podcast instead of him.
00:36:26
Speaker
But sorry, go on. I apologize for interrupting. Oh, it's fine. This is in the Jazz Ramsey camp. this is It's hard to tell between these two movies which one is worse. um This is unwatchable garbage. It was painful.
00:36:40
Speaker
I think it wasn't as painful as Jazz Ramsey. Jazz Ramsey was that. Jazz Ramsey, I disassociated from it several times. This cost a lot more and obviously has like real actors and stuff in it. And Jazz Ramsey doesn't even have like sets and things like that. So it's hard to compare the two.
00:37:00
Speaker
I mean, oh God, I forgot about a New York Christmas wedding.
00:37:06
Speaker
But a New York Christmas wedding keeps you guessing. I would be in the same category. You're right. We found it. Yeah. The movie and New York Christmas wedding are insane enough to make you keep watching it. Yep. Like you can't, you have to keep watching because you don't know where it's going to go next because you honestly couldn't predict.
00:37:24
Speaker
Yes. Because both of these movies are completely deranged. Written by insane people. Yes. Insane men.
00:37:36
Speaker
Um, ah fucking B movie, man. Um, I can't believe this got made. Like the thing is Jerry Seinfeld, one of the most famous successful comedians of all time, if not the most yeah successful comedian of all time. It's like, I'm going to make this movie.
00:37:53
Speaker
What are they going to say? No. Like, He's one of the richest people in the world. he Yeah, Seinfeld and is a license to print money. He can do whatever he wants, and he just has bad ideas. Like, we obviously realize that the genius behind Seinfeld was Larry David because he yeah went on to make Curb Your Enthusiasm.
00:38:11
Speaker
Yeah. And Jerry Seinfeld went on to make the B movie. Yeah. And here's another fun fact for you. um Another one of Emma's fun facts, Emma's fun facts. um So Jerry Seinfeld came up with this movie.
00:38:24
Speaker
You're going to think in ah another insane way because he was pitched when he was like, after he was inspired by his wife, who got into beekeeping and he got jealous of the bees.
00:38:35
Speaker
um He ah then pitched this idea Steven Spielberg, his buddy. ah Just two rich white dudes. Spielberg?
00:38:49
Speaker
Spielberg. Spielberg. Are you sure? Spielberg? Spielberg, yeah. Wait, what was I saying? Spielberg. Is it not Spielberg?
00:39:00
Speaker
It's Spielberg. Spielberg. Yeah. Okay. You like to put extra extra letters and in in names. I like to enunciate. It's like um ah Melanie Leninsky.
00:39:13
Speaker
ski yeah Melanie Melanie Leninsky. And Steven Spielberg.
00:39:20
Speaker
That's like a 30 Rock thing. that's who I think that's who directed ah Jackie Jorptop, actually, as Steven Spielberg. Jackie Jorptop and the Roar-Durr. The Roar-Durr. Yeah, so he was pitching it to Steven Spielberg.
00:39:35
Speaker
as a joke... and ah as a joke And I don't know if they were just doing cocaine or what was happening. But Steven was like, that's a great idea for a movie. You should make that.
00:39:48
Speaker
And just really jazzed Jerry up. and that is That is a talking point. That is something you you say on a late night show. What happened was Jerry Seinfeld was like, hey, what about a B movie? and mean It's about a movie.
00:40:02
Speaker
And we call it B-movie. Because like a B-movie, you know, from the With very B-bunson. And Steven Spielberg said, i will make anything you want. You're Jerry Seinfeld. You're the most successful comedian in the world.
00:40:20
Speaker
is what Steven Spielberg said. Because Steven Spielberg's not stupid. and Yeah, well, 330 of the 335 people that ah read this trivia fact but found that interesting.
00:40:34
Speaker
I mean, yeah, I guess it's interesting. um this movie looks like dog shit, we should say. um it is DreamWorks Slop of the Highest Order from the mid-2000s. It's like, just, it looks gross. The people look terrifying. The bees look weird. The bees look insane.
00:40:54
Speaker
It's just, it looks bad. it's yeah the the color is bad. Like it's all just, it's yeah gross looking. It's like if you've ever taken acid and watched Toy Story, that's what this felt like. I haven't. I mean, here's the thing. Like it's not technology because Toy Story was made a decade before this and Toy Story looks good. Like Toy Story yeah looks a little blocky and dated, but Toy Story looks good. Like Toy Story was done with with style and intelligence and this movie was not.
00:41:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's why you take a shit ton of acid, you watch Story. This sounds like you're talking from personal experience, Emma. And then you draw Bee Movie and you're like, this is what I saw. Yeah.
00:41:35
Speaker
um uh this movie was not a hit uh shockingly what it cost 150 million dollars and it made 126 uh it made back some of that worldwide but you know barely like doubling your your budget overseas is still not really considered a success not on this level not especially now with animation yeah all the marketing and stuff that went behind this this was a disaster Yeah. um Which is, you know, honestly surprising because this this cast is stacked.
00:42:10
Speaker
And it was i mean it's it's just a very it's very much like, you know, nobody's going to say no to this guy. We're going to do whatever he wants. Like nobody's giving him script notes like this is just it's it's painful. Yeah.
00:42:28
Speaker
and And that's what that's what happens a lot, you know, with ah with with people who have, like, it's like ah George Lucas in the Star Wars prequels, right? I mean, like, yeah he was at a position where no one was going to say no to him. He got to do whatever he wanted, unlimited creativity. And sometimes without people second-guessing you or asking you questions about stuff, you know, it's – you're not going to end up with anything coherent.
00:42:51
Speaker
Yeah. yeahre like I know. And, like, yeah some of the best – like, i i I need to have a reading of of one of my plays. Like, I need to have feedback from other people. Like, I need a director to, like, give me notes on stuff because otherwise, like – i i am I don't feel confident with something that I've written unless I know, unless I've gotten feedback from other people. um And i sure I'm sure that there are playwrights who work differently than that, people who are you know more confident in their art maybe, but I think that that everything needs to have other ears and and yeah um and ideas in it before before it's considered, you know, finished. Yeah, because we're not in your head.
00:43:29
Speaker
Like we, something might make sense to you, but when it's said out loud, makes absolutely zero sense. with Like this movie. Most of the time. I would say half the things I say on this podcast are things that make sense in my head, but don't make sense to anybody else. Yeah.
00:43:41
Speaker
I think the things that come out of your mouth on this podcast are, um if you were to put a percentage there ah compared to the things that came out in B-movie,
00:43:52
Speaker
think you have a higher percentage. I'm also a lot of times making jokes and references for a very small group of people. um Sometimes just literally my friends who listen to this. We've got a news following. Yeah.
00:44:07
Speaker
We're here for the niche girlies. Yeah. um And Richard. The niche girlies and Richard. That's who listens to this podcast every week. The niche girlies and Richard. I'm sure there are plenty of men who listen to this podcast. Just yes based on the number of listeners that we have you know some of them have to be men. it's It would just be numerically impossible for them all to be women in Richard.
00:44:28
Speaker
I think that I know a like good handful of men that do listen to this podcast. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. They're all people I know. Okay, well, you know. Men enjoy listening to to Go Get Your Girl.
00:44:42
Speaker
Hey.
00:44:45
Speaker
um that that is a So there was a um there was this ah diner in Roanoke, Virginia, where I used to live, called the Texas Tavern, which was open 24 hours. And a lot of times, after a show would get out, everybody would go to the Texas Tavern, because you could walk there.
00:44:58
Speaker
Yeah. It was right downtown. And it was just this little, like, literally just a diner, like a counter, and then like a few chairs. It was mostly just the counter you could sit at. And um there's a big sign outside that says, Women enjoy eating in the Texas Tavern. Oh. I don't like that. Which is, yeah, which is one of those things that's like, you know, they probably put it up in like the 60s, maybe to try to encourage women.
00:45:24
Speaker
But it feels real serial killer-y. Like women enjoy eating here. So women come eat here and then go to the bathroom without telling your friends anything. And don't bring your phone or your keys or anything.
00:45:38
Speaker
And don't worry about it. No questions. It's actually not like that, but the sign is ominous. That's the vibes. Yeah. yeah um ah Texas Tavern, home of the cheesy western. um Texas Tavern, famously featured in the Bee movie.
00:45:55
Speaker
Famously featured. Well, this it is yellow, so there's that. That's true. um But no, this movie takes place in, guessed it, guys, New York City, baby. New York City, baby. Greatest city in the world. Greatest city in the world. That's not true. We're doing a lot of voices in this episode. I mean, I was inspired by the Bee movie. Yeah.
00:46:18
Speaker
um Yeah, so again, 46 minutes. We still have not even talked about the first shot of this movie. I mean... The DreamWorks opening logo gets the little DreamWorks boy stung by a bee and he falls off the moon. Hilarious. um Just couldn't stop laughing at that. We start murder.
00:46:37
Speaker
There's a opening narration of a famous myth saying that scientists don't know how bees fly, which is just untrue. um Everybody knows how bees fly. I was led to believe that that was just scientific fact.
00:46:49
Speaker
No, that's nonsense. Bees um ah ah fly because their wings move in a figure eight position. That's how fly. Like if you're doing butterfly. Yeah. the butterfly Yes.
00:47:02
Speaker
Well, the butterfly, do you do a figure eight in butterfly? I don't know enough about the butterfly to to answer that. So you move your body like a dolphin and then your hands do little figure eights. Oh, there you go. Well, yes, then yes. That's butterfly.
00:47:14
Speaker
Yeah. Learned something today. I never got that far. um i could never, they never passed me on the butterfly at camp. Oh, we this conversation. yeah Because I feel like, by it I feel like it's unreasonable to expect children to learn how to do the butterfly. Oh, it absolutely is. And it's an insane thing. um But for some reason, i I, know the fundamentals of it because I memorized it and I worked so fucking hard on it for like two years, but they would never pass me.
00:47:46
Speaker
So I could never do, um what was it? the Like, you know, the paddle boarding. They wouldn't let you do paddle because you couldn't do the butterfly. Yeah, I know. It makes no sense.
00:47:58
Speaker
But you had to be a certain like level in swimming to do windsurfing and paddle boarding. And um surfing that was the one thing I needed to pass to get to that level. And they never passed me.
00:48:11
Speaker
I feel like now saying it out loud, it feels a little vindictive. Like maybe somebody just was throwing a power play on me. Because ah that's insane.
00:48:22
Speaker
Just let me do fucking windsurfing, guys. Suck it, Camp. Red Pine. Red Pine. wanted to say Alfalfa. i don't know No, Camp Red Pine in Minocqua, Wisconsin, baby.
00:48:36
Speaker
Shout out to Reddied. So um ah the bees, um Jerry Seinfeld plays a college graduate bee for some reason. I don't know. yeah it seems weird that he's a child that lives with his parents. It's so funny that you mentioned college graduate.
00:48:53
Speaker
Oh, big time. Yeah, there's a lot of graduate reference. Again, every male of a certain age is obsessed with the graduate. It comes up over and over again. so ah that I did not expect the B movie to have the graduate references, but it absolutely does.
00:49:10
Speaker
I would be surprised if this movie ended with Barry B. Benson and Renee Zellweger's character on a bus looking at each other. He's on the glass going, Vanessa!
00:49:20
Speaker
Vanessa!
00:49:26
Speaker
Also, oh here's another fun fact that's going to make you so mad. um Jerry Seinfeld refused to He refused to make a sequel to the B-movie.
00:49:36
Speaker
There will never be a B-movie 2. I don't think anybody was clamoring for the sequel to the B-movie, Jerry. not It lost money. That's not what he says. He didn't want to diminish the integrity of the original. Okay, so here's the thing about IMDb trivia. A lot of these things are jokes that someone says on you know Letterman or Conan or something, and then someone puts it on IMDb trivia. um I guarantee you that that is a joke that he said to David Letterman in 2008 and has been repeated as fact on IMDb because i mean the kind of people who obsessively log trivia on IMDb
00:50:18
Speaker
Probably not great senses of humor, I'm guessing. Or fact checkers. Or fact checkers. So
00:50:27
Speaker
tell us about Barry B. Benson. Barry B. Benson. Oh, boy. Barry B. Benson. Which is about the level of humor we're working on here. Yep. um Is a bee. And the bees have this like dystopian society where there's, again, also, he's nine days old.
00:50:48
Speaker
They even mentioned he's like three days of elementary school, three days of high school, three days of college. um And now we enter the workforce. Yep. So, I mean, he's going to live, you know, maybe 10 more days and then he's dead.
00:51:03
Speaker
So remember that when you're watching the Bee Movie. Which is why we can never have the Bee Movie 2. Yeah, because he's a bee. They don't live that long.
00:51:13
Speaker
Not to mention the fact that that male bees are sex drones. Sorry, what? They don't- male bees are sex drones that don't do any, anything like male bees don't pollinate. Male bees don't, um, don't make honey. They, the only thing male bees do is have sex with the queen.
00:51:32
Speaker
All the, all the worker bees are female.
00:51:38
Speaker
What? You're looking at me so surprised. That just sounds like a dystopian. you Are you just surprised that the B movie wasn't scientifically accurate?
00:51:49
Speaker
Yes, I'm so surprised. They little cars in there, Emma. But also that they wouldn't give the women bees the, like, I don't know, the credit that they are due. 100%. 100%. Jerry agenda. We're led to believe that bees live a um nineteen fifty s American- like dream of a lifestyle and, uh, the men go to work while the women, i don't know, do reception work.
00:52:22
Speaker
Yeah. Are there women in the, cause mean, Megan Mullally is leading the That's a job, but are there women workers? No, there is. There's a woman behind them because she says like, Matthew Broderick is like, she's hot. And he goes, that's my cousin. We're all cousins. Oh yeah. Also there's a lot of references to incest in this. Yeah.
00:52:39
Speaker
Well, I mean, yeah, they're bees. um It seems like Jerry Seinfeld thought bees were funny and like nobody nobody else thinks that be that it's funny. He's like, that's funny, right? And everyone's like, yeah, Jerry, sure, that's funny, whatever. mean, he said Steven Spielberg thought it was a great idea. Steven Spielberg thought making a Jerry Seinfeld movie would make DreamWorks a lot of money. And he was wrong, unfortunately. the few times Steven Spielberg has made a bad decision.
00:53:06
Speaker
this A bad call. Yeah. a Twilight Zone movie is another. um yeah He... ah Yeah, i I wrote... Seinfeld is one of the least childlike actors to exist. Yep. He is... Unbelievable as someone under 40. 45! He was born yeah um They have cars for some reason. They're driving around the inside of the hive in weird little cars. He's best friends with Matthew Broderick. um Yeah. and he also like his dad makes a reference as to like they bought the stairs for them to use the stairs and they don't like him flying in the house. Like, but if you have fucking wings, like what?
00:53:49
Speaker
Okay, whatever. yeah When they get to the graduation they're going to their graduation when they get to graduation, Jerry Seinfeld says quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances, which I think is the worst joke I've ever heard in a real movie. ah that is
00:54:09
Speaker
That is some Laffy kids wrote this joke and sent it in bullshit. Yep. Yep. Thanks, Jerry. They go on a tour of the honey factory where like this conglomerate is called a division of Honeycomb, Hexagon. Yeah, it's a weird dystopian, like much like Eternity, just um corporate America B universe.
00:54:38
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. well and to be fair, if there is one thing that's going to be a um If there's one thing that's going to be a dystopian, ah like, Brazil-like worker um ah ah he hell ah in an ah in an in an animal kingdom, it's going to be bees. Like, bees and ants are both, like... Yeah. That tracks. You know, they'd already made ants.
00:55:06
Speaker
but They did, with America's Sweetheart Woody Allen. Yeah.
00:55:14
Speaker
What is it about old comedians with underage girl issues yeah wanting to make DreamWorks animated movies about bugs?
00:55:27
Speaker
Did somebody, I wonder if there's like some weird pedophilic comedian that's connected to a bug's life. Oh, God, I hope not. I hope not. um the um Yeah, it's, you know, if if I had a nickel, I'd have i'd only have a dime, but it's funny that it happened twice. Yeah. um
00:55:48
Speaker
The, um, uh, yeah. So you have to make, you have to choose a job in the honeycomb and then you do that until you're dead, which again, yeah we should say is probably only like 10 days or so. Yeah. But I mean, like it's the rest of your life and Jerry Seinfeld doesn't, or sorry, pardon me.
00:56:04
Speaker
Barry B. Benson. Barry B. Benson. Barry B. Benson doesn't like that. He wants more autonomy. He wants more freedom. ah But his friend Matthew Broderick just doesn't... What is Matthew Broderick's character's name? His name is Matthew Broderick.
00:56:20
Speaker
Is it really? No, I don't know. no Nobody knows. Nobody knows.
00:56:26
Speaker
Nobody knows or cares. um ah he He meets the the pollen jocks, which are the guy again, again, in real life, it's all women, but ah women, it's all female bees. Yep. um Who go out and pollinate the flowers and they're like an air force kind of thing. And they have these guns that pollinate the the flowers and really sexy way.
00:56:47
Speaker
It's oh, man, I don't know if I would use that word to describe it. um
00:56:54
Speaker
They um so he they they're like, hey, let's play a joke on the new guy. And the joke is that they take him out and are really nice to him. I don't understand. Like they don't they don't make fun of him. They just literally take him out of the hive, which is what he wants. And everybody's really nice to him.
00:57:09
Speaker
Yep. Yeah. And then he gets lost because of his own idiotiness. This movie is just so obviously cut to ribbons and obviously like so many rewrites and things that were cut and things that were added and things. Again, it it it it seems like it's being made up as it goes. Like yeah it's...
00:57:29
Speaker
It makes no sense from moment to moment. um He's out with the pollen jocks. It starts to rain and he can't make his way back home. And he, oh, he gets stuck to a tennis ball and yeah they play tennis. It's just like challengers.
00:57:42
Speaker
Yeah. um but say all And we meet who I thought was a married couple, Patrick Warburton and Renee Zellweger. But it seems that they're just dating. dating Just dating. And he sucks because um ah Ken, as ah he's called, is ah he can't get a job.
00:58:04
Speaker
and yeah He's obsessed with his resume, but he can't get a job. He's very unemployed. um but um renee zellweger's character owns a floral shop yeah it's vanessa's flowers it's her shop vanessa's flowers she is she is like florist who lives i want to say on the upper east side or upper west side right off of central park um has a beautiful apartment um and this guy's just freeloading off of no wonder barry can swoop in there and sweep her off her feet
00:58:39
Speaker
This woman's taste of men is terrible. um Oh, also, in this fictive world, it should be said, bees can talk. but like Oh, yeah, bees can talk.
00:58:50
Speaker
But they don't talk in front of humans for legal reasons? It seems that all animals can talk in this movie, and they just don't talk in front of humans. And the fact that bees, which are tiny...
00:59:02
Speaker
Also, not only speak, they they can speak loud enough to where everyone can hear them at all times. Like their tiny little vocal cords are somehow able to make normal human sized sound. Like at one point he gets up on top of a car and addresses thousands of bees hundreds of feet away without any kind of sound amplification. Everybody hears it perfectly. So.
00:59:24
Speaker
I mean, i honestly would believe it for Jerry Seinfeld B that he would just be loud. Yeah. Loud ass B. Loud ass B. mean, you can hear them going buzz.
00:59:38
Speaker
Yeah. um They, ah yeah, there's some animation bits. Like there's the tennis ball thing. He gets sucked through a car engine. Yep. And then he somehow manages to make it coincidentally back to the same apartment of the couple from the tennis court. Renee Selwiger and Patrick Warburton.
00:59:58
Speaker
um where they're going to kill him and Renee Zellweger stops them and puts him outside. And he finds this very touching and he falls in love with her immediately. Yeah. She saved his life.
01:00:09
Speaker
And so he has to thank her. He has to. And so he just, he needs to work up the courage to talk to her um because she is everything to him.
01:00:20
Speaker
And we get this weird sort of dreamy sequence where they're on a date. That's later. First, talk he talks to her. She says she ask she sayss to Ken, why does his life have any less value than yours? And I wrote vegan queen. yeah um But yeah, it's all romantic from the very beginning. like He's like, I got to talk to her. What do I say? you like jazz? like What are you doing?
01:00:44
Speaker
like What is happening in this movie where they everybody decided, everybody at DreamWorks, like no matter like all these people signed off on that. It's like, yeah, the bee's in love with the human. It's normal. It's fine. And she kind of likes him too.
01:00:58
Speaker
um kind of likes him she blows up her whole life for barry b benson i'd have to say she's in love with barry b benson how would that work like how you know i don't know katie maybe a lot of thinking of some no go ahead please i was gonna say just a lot of watching each other Oh, yeah. It's like mutual masturbation.
01:01:24
Speaker
Yeah. But then how do bees masturbate? Do you just jerk off your stinger? But then you die. i don't think the stinger is their sexual organ.
01:01:34
Speaker
Heavens.
01:01:38
Speaker
evans I'm not surprised it's come to this. um i mean, like, theoretically. Here's the thing. Like, he could be like a tiny little vibrator. like That's true.
01:01:50
Speaker
But, like, you'd have to trust. could get right on there. But you could also, like, you'd have to trust that he wouldn't sting you. and that he wouldn't, You don't want to get stung in the clit. That would be bad. Yeah, pinball. And that he wouldn't get lost.
01:02:05
Speaker
Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:02:13
Speaker
There we go That's it. i um he he he He's talking to her and she is like having this conversation with him. Yep. And he goes really well.
01:02:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. it's Remarkably well. He goes, yeah, bees are funny. And I wrote in my notes, no they're not. yeah um And then they have this whole like Jewish analogy analogy thing where she's like, is that a bee joke? ah um And then later there, he says he met somebody and she goes, was she bee-ish? Not a wasp.
01:02:47
Speaker
Your parents will kill you. Like, okay. We get it. Oh, that is a Jewish joke, yeah. Yeah, bee-ish. um And then he has the fantasy where they're like in the park. Yep.
01:02:58
Speaker
It's so fucking weird. He's drinking, she's drinking like Honey colored wine and he's drinking honey. It's really bizarre. okay This leads me to an excellent segue. So honey in this the world, the fictive world of the B movie, honey is used in lots of ways that I'm very confused for. Well, actually, as I'm saying it out loud, I guess. Well, no, actually.
01:03:25
Speaker
So it's they drink it, but they also poop it out. um No, no. Bees don't poop honey. Bees vomit honey. Sorry, they vomit honey. But it not not in this fictive world. In this fictive world, they use, you know, machinery. um Correct. Yes, they've moved past the organic process. yeah Much like papier-mâché. You used to have to chew it, and now we use, you know, machines to do that for us. Yeah, exactly. It's exactly like that.
01:03:54
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. And sorry, did you say papier-mâché in the... Papier mache. Yes, I did it intentionally for humorous value. Yes. I was like, that is the most... I don't actually call it that....podascending way to say paper mache.
01:04:08
Speaker
That's how it's spelled. You mean papier mache? It's how i like what I call it, pimiento cheese. Heaven forbid... When you have a child, that child is going to be the most insufferable little nerd. Be like, mama, mama, I my don't actually call it that. I decided to call it that in this instance.
01:04:37
Speaker
Oh, little ah rainbow or do I don't know. What's like a weird liberal? Like a weird like liberal like... Seems homophobic, Emma. No, I know as it was coming out of my mouth, I didn't mean it like that. i meant it like, you know, like, like, um, ah Helvetica.
01:04:56
Speaker
Helvetica. Yeah. Something, something, you know, like super educational or I don't know, named after some, your favorite anchor on NPR.
01:05:10
Speaker
Little Terry Gross, Terry Gross. is Terry Gross, uh, Coleman. Yeah. ah Terry Gross, Terry Gross, it's time for French lessons. Bring your papier-mâché-haut and your La Croix.
01:05:24
Speaker
ah Don't know why I'm being roasted on the B movie. Actually, it is La Croix. It's Canadian and it is actually pronounced La Croix. That's what the company says. Oh, see, Charlie and I um called it La Croix for a long time because we thought we were better than everyone.
01:05:38
Speaker
Yeah, so did we. But it is La Croix. ah Well, what do you know? Anyways, back to Barry B. Benson. so French Canadians pronounce a lot of stuff wrong. is the they Because they're French, but they're not French. If you know what that means, they're Canadian. They're like Quevecois.
01:06:00
Speaker
in this universe, honey can be drunk It can be swam in. It's used as gasoline in their weird little cars. Used as gasoline. It can be used as basically it's a catch all for a lot of things. It's a miracle um product. Yes. Yes. So I was just confused as to like, what is honey to them?
01:06:23
Speaker
I guess honey is life. Yeah. Yeah. It's their whole deal. But like regular bees eat pollen, but these bees don't seem to eat pollen.
01:06:35
Speaker
Bees don't eat pollen. Bees drink nectar, which is different than pollen. They get pollen on their fuzzy little bee bodies. And then when they go to a different flower, they deposit that pollen from their fuzzy little bee bodies onto the vaginas of the plant.
01:06:54
Speaker
And they're pollinating it that way. These are very important facts that the listeners will need to know momentarily. I mean, it's true. what Everything I said was true. Yeah, I mean, that it is true. But it's also something that if you didn't know how how bees and pollination works, either listen to this podcast and listen to Katie break it down or ah ah watch the bee movie.
01:07:16
Speaker
You can also read a graduate dissertation on the subject called Fuzzy Little Bee Bodies by Drs. Cameron and Roe. What? Is that an actual thing?
01:07:29
Speaker
You said it so confidently. I was like, oh. Stop no-sailing me. where Where can I read this? Yeah, there's a dissertation called Fuzzy Little Bee Body. ah Hey, we are in a TikTok nation. We need to get those clicks.
01:07:44
Speaker
um Anyway, cut all this out. um Nope. They go to the supermarket and he realizes that humans use honey and he gets yeah really mad. um yeah Ray Liotta.
01:07:56
Speaker
Ray Liotta's honey. Yeah, this movie. Sting and Liotta, very game in this movie yeah to make fun of themselves. Very, very funny. um but he gets out Very funny is strong. I don't know if I would call it very funny.
01:08:15
Speaker
It's Jerry funny. um Yes. He gets outraged that humans have been using ah honey. And he so he he makes a pilgrimage to honey farms. The the bee of farm. Bee farm, I guess is what you call it.
01:08:31
Speaker
One of the big bees. Yeah. He meets Chris Rock on the windshield of a car to get out there. It's a mosquito named Mouseblood. Mooseblood.
01:08:45
Speaker
um when they get to the When they get to the bee farm, like the evil beekeepers are laughing amongst themselves about how much they hate bees. It's very stupid. so Like, yeah, stupid fucking bees. God, I hate bees. I hate bees so much. Look at this smoker. Which is like not how beekeepers are. If there's one thing i know about beekeepers is that they fucking love bees. They love bees so hard.
01:09:11
Speaker
that one girl who talks funny on TikTok? Like... Yeah. ah Another great bee saving the bees. Her videos are so addicting though. I just love watching her scoop the bees so gently and putting them in a new hive. And then her being like, look at this honeycomb. She loves the bees. she love She loves bees. And I love her for loving the bees. Save the bees.
01:09:34
Speaker
Why couldn't she have been a consultant on this film? Because she was about 11 years old when movie came out. ah I wonder if this movie inspired her to become a beekeeper. It's possible. We should ask her. Yeah.
01:09:47
Speaker
Funny voice lady who does TikTok beekeeper videos. Come on the show. ah Be our next guest when we do... I won't make fun of your voice ever again. Bee Movie 2. um ah then like this whole movie takes a sharp turn yep and into being a legal battle becomes a ah courtroom drama um well first he goes and sees the sad like ussr apartments that the bees live in at the at the bee farm um ah and they're like we have to live here or they moved our queen here like like okay yeah And he's outraged. And there's just thousands and thousands of bees there. And he's like, I got to free these bees from slavery.
01:10:30
Speaker
Um, uh, it becomes He decides to sue humanity. It becomes a courtroom drama. Again, there's 45 minutes of this movie left. John Goodman is the is the defense attorney for food companies is what they call it.
01:10:48
Speaker
And he's like playing a ah Southern Baptist preacher. Yep. Oprah is the judge. Like, yeah what is going on? um He brings a bear into the courtroom. He cross-examines Sting and Ray Liotta.
01:11:05
Speaker
He gets, um ah hurt who is it that makes Matthew Broder so mad? that Oh, that's it the that's the closing arguments of John Goode. Oh, okay, okay. But first he is like growing closer with Vanessa. She works on the case with him and they're like, and then Patrick, Patrick Warburton is like upset that they're spending so much time together. So he tries to kill Barry by setting her bathroom on fire. And then she breaks up with him. Like I thought they were married.
01:11:32
Speaker
He destroys her apartment. Like yes. In person trying to kill the beautiful upper East side apartment. Probably rent controlled. Oh, well, I don't know. i mean she's got I mean, she owns a florist shop, again, on the Upper East Side. i assume it's the Upper. I didn't catch the cross street. It's 67th and something. Yeah. um Somewhere up there.
01:11:53
Speaker
And um it's, ah yeah, she clearly has a lot of money. It's probably generational wealth. Right. She... um
01:12:06
Speaker
Do you think Barry sees her parents in the sequel? oh God. Yeah. This is where um ah John Goodman gets Matthew Broderick so angry that he stings him. He almost dies, but survives. Then and John Goodman is in one of those little baby walker situations with the wheels.
01:12:22
Speaker
Yeah.
Humor reactions and critique of B-movie's structure
01:12:23
Speaker
Oh, that was a moment that Harley laughed at was when we go to the hospital to visit Matthew Broderick and he's hooked up to an IV and it's just one of those honey bears upside down.
01:12:34
Speaker
um ah Which I'm not gonna lie. i chuckled too. I thought it was- I did not chuckle. I did not chuckle. Um, ah no chuckles from Katie. Um, ah the, uh, Matthew Broderick's in the hospital. He doesn't die. They replace his stinger with like a little cocktail sword.
01:12:53
Speaker
else It's all very much like, these are jokes. These are the jokes, people. Like, it's just, it's it's ah dire. It's pretty dire. Yeah. The jokes in this movie are rough stuff.
01:13:08
Speaker
um Like, I know we can all do better. Like, everyone can do better than the B-movie. No, I don't know. Honestly, I think the B-movie is a beautiful mirror society up today. they They bring a smoker into the courtroom, which is what wins the case. And again, they win the case and there's still 30 minutes left of this movie. And you're like, how?
01:13:29
Speaker
It's like three unrelated episodes of a TV show more than a movie. It's just because now what happens is the bees get all their honey back yeah from all over the world. They have to stop.
Plot analysis: Bees' impact on nature and aviation feat
01:13:42
Speaker
They they change the name of the alcohol, tobacco and firearms um organization to they add an H on the end of it for honey. so they're shutting everybody down, um and they're giving all the honey back to the bees, but now the bees don't need to make honey because they've got so much so much of a surplus of honey.
01:13:59
Speaker
The bees all get lazy and stop pollinating, and all the flowers die, which is not how... They kill flowers. They kill nature. The flowers, again, we should say, they don't die. They're just desaturated. like All the color leaves the flowers, but they're still there. They don't die. They just lose all their color, which...
01:14:19
Speaker
Again, not in any way is how flowers work. And again, if they stopped being pollinated, they would still live the rest of their lives. They just wouldn't, they wouldn't reproduce. And so it would take years for you to realize that the the pollination had stopped. It doesn't matter. Not in the B movie, honey. The the company shoots P and Piglet, Poo and pig pee and Piglet, Poo and Piglet, we should say, get shot by the ATFH.
01:14:45
Speaker
ah um Because they're eating honey. And Sting gets arrested for misrepresentation of bee-ishness.
01:14:56
Speaker
Yeah. um so Vanessa's going to the final tournament of roses parade to see the flowers because that's the only flowers that are left because the bees stopped pollinating. um And then they hatch a plan where they're going to go to Pasadena to the...
01:15:12
Speaker
Is the Rose Bowl or the Tournament of Proses parade the same thing? I think so. It looked the same. I think so. i think it's But also, I don't know. um I don't anything about football. um Same. It relevant. They go there. They steal a float of what I presume are like pea flowers.
01:15:29
Speaker
They're not roses. I don't know. It's because the princess and the pea. It's like... yeah um They steal the float. They take the float to an airplane. They put the flowers in the airplane. And then Jerry accidentally gets both the pilot and the co-car unconscious.
01:15:48
Speaker
ah You can tell the kitty really enjoys this movie. Bye. And then they have to land the plane. And Barry's like, I'm a bee. I know how to fly. And Vanessa's trying to land the plane. And then all it's on the news. So all the pollen jocks.
01:16:03
Speaker
come and then like a million bees go and, and get under the plane and fly the plane down. Save the plane. which And I will tell you the closest thing that, that the closest thing to a joke that almost made me smile again, I didn't laugh, but I guess I almost smiled where the plane is trying to land like a bee, like goes at a flower. Yeah. It's kind of cute. Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:29
Speaker
Yeah. And then the plane lands and all the flowers get out. Oh, are you also talking about whenever he's just like, land on the flower. And she starts to land on like different flowers. And she finds like a guy in a Hawaiian shirt with a flower on it. And he's like, no, not that flower.
01:16:44
Speaker
The giant flower made of thousands of bees. No, that wasn't funny. Oh, thought was funny. I'm happy for you. A little too odd.
01:16:55
Speaker
Yeah. Sheryl Crow. I said, why is his voice so loud? um Oh, there's also a whole thing where it's like, i so I looked this up. So earlier on, there's this weird transition where Matthew Broderick is like, you've got to think B. And this other character goes, you've got to think B. And it's very clear that they're ramping up to do a song. And then it just... yeah It crossfades into him in the pool doing a graduate reference. Yep. And I looked it up and it's absolutely, there was a number called thinking B, which is cut from the movie because they it was weird to only have one song, which again, why you cast Matthew Broderick in the first place. Cause he sings exactly. Cause he sings a song.
01:17:30
Speaker
And then if you watch, and again, so I, I 10 second forwarded through the credits to see if there was a post credit and the song starts playing near the, about halfway through the credits and What?
01:17:42
Speaker
It's Jerry Seinfeld talk singing and Matthew Broderick actually singing a song about thinking B. Yeah. Oh, well, that's disappointing. We missed out on that. it's just It's just one of those musical theater moments where it's like, oh, they're ramping up for a song and then suddenly don't. So you get like musical theater like whiplash.
01:17:58
Speaker
Yep. And then you're like, oh, it's because the studio didn't think that it would work. And then the in the credits, the the music, the song is written by Mark Shaman. sounds Of course it is.
01:18:10
Speaker
um Cheryl Crow sings here comes sun as they pollinate the flowers and but when they pollinate the flowers they instantly um become alive and colorful again which is again not how flowers work it is in this movie Katie And then he becomes a lawyer for cows getting milk and the, it's like, so any animal who feels like they have been misrepresented, rep yeah represented and miss, you know, is missing
Pro-authoritarian themes and bizarre fan fiction discussion
01:18:39
Speaker
out on their chunk of change.
01:18:41
Speaker
But really what this movie is about is like, go back to the status quo. Like, Things are better, you know, without asking questions, without standing up to authority. It's a very conservative movie in lot ways. Oh, are you that there's a dark meaning behind the B movie? Yeah, it's very pro-authoritarian. It's not that you should have sex with a B? It's not that you should let a B buzz your clit.
01:19:14
Speaker
I'm sorry. this is This is a gross episode. I mean, you have to know that there is fanfic out there. There's probably- Oh, I'm sure there is. Yeah. Let's just check real quick. So yeah, Vanessa and Barry kind of end up together. Like they're- She puts his name on the side. like Vanessa and Barry's flower shop and legal advice. Yeah.
01:19:32
Speaker
Yeah. And he's blood ah joins the firm. He does. Yes. um I don't- It's- it's So yeah, that's, yeah, that's the B movie. That's a B movie. Oh yeah. There's a lot of hits on B movie. Yeah. ah Rape slash non con is the first tag.
01:19:57
Speaker
i and This one is graphic depictions of violence, major character death, um Barry Benson, Shrek, Sonic the Hedgehog, Squidward Tentacles, Donald Trump, Joe Biden.
01:20:14
Speaker
What the fuck? Hannibal Lecter. Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Crowley, and Aziraphale from Good Omens. What? Smut. Skibbity Toilet.
01:20:26
Speaker
What? Barry is pregnant. Chapter 2 is hardcore smut. Oh, no! I was Barry pregnant. I was... That's impreg, Emma. Classic impreg. oh man. Man. Oh, my God. this is a Hold on. It Barry is just a girl in a village doing all right. Then he became an omega overnight. Now he got to figure out how to do it right. Smirking face. So much to learn and see. What? 15,000 words.
01:20:58
Speaker
That's one thing that the world doesn't need is B-movie smutty fan fiction. Oh, man. um This one appears to not be smut. This is just a B-movie sequel. It's only 438 words. it a B? Is every word B? I'm not clicking on these. Oh, man. I should have turned. I i should have i should have done this in an incognito tab.
01:21:22
Speaker
everything that you search is going to be B-movie. So this one is BTS and um anal sex breath play but it's slight i wrote this as a joke but the sex part is very serious what um taehyung wanted to try new things in the bedroom jungkook was more than willing to comply guys here's the thing b-sex movie i so I support creativity and exploring your sexuality, but I feel like there is a line and there is a limit.
01:22:02
Speaker
and maybe the B from B-movie is that line.
01:22:09
Speaker
Bee sex movie by 500 funky little bees. Barry and Vanessa find out they have other species counterparts. A human Barry named Harry and a bee Vanessa named Van. Excited by this revelation, Barry and Vanessa eagerly invite them over for a foursome.
01:22:25
Speaker
What? Yeah. There's a lot of these. This just goes on and on. Oh, I'm sorry. There's 1,160 them. So many.
01:22:37
Speaker
That's a lot. that So many people thinking and reading about a bee having sex with humans. Here's a Hamilton bee movie, AU. Why would you do that?
01:22:49
Speaker
Does he go back in time? I'm closing. I'm closing them. closing the gap It's over. We're done. ah Okay. let's put Let's put the cap on B-movie. Let's put a pin in the B-movie forever.
Anticipation for The Best Man and episode closure
01:23:01
Speaker
i never want to talk about the fucking B-movie again. That was a B-movie.
01:23:05
Speaker
Katie, what are we doing next week? Oh, I forgot. I already wrote it down in the spreadsheet, though. So let's see. We are doing The Best Man.
01:23:18
Speaker
Which I saw a long time ago but don't remember a lot of. It's Taye Diggs. It's um a very sweet romantic comedy drama from the late 90s. Love it.
01:23:29
Speaker
Love it. Super excited. At the very least, we'll get to see Taye Diggs for an hour and a half. and There you go. That's just a treat for everyone. And honestly, it feels like almost impossible to ah to be worse than the B-movie.
01:23:46
Speaker
Oh, yeah. This is going to be our bottom of the barrel for a long time. yeah Yeah. Until you find some other Hallmark bullshit for us to watch.
01:23:59
Speaker
Well, thank you for indulging me in a B movie. Of course. I mean, here we got an hour and 24 minutes out of, you know, slightly humorous conversation, I'm sure. Exactly. Exactly.
01:24:10
Speaker
Well, shall we outro? Let's outro. Yeah. my god Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Girl. If you like us, tell your friends and please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It helps out a lot and we would really appreciate it.
01:24:25
Speaker
Thanks to Andrew Milliken and Nick Svoboda for our theme music and Elena Henderson for our artwork. You can follow us on Instagram at GoGetYourGirlPod or email us at GoGetYourGirlPod at gmail.com. You can follow me and only me at Emily M. Pizza.
01:24:41
Speaker
Until next time, we're just two girls. Standing in front of the internet.
01:24:48
Speaker
Asking it to love us.