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The Truth about Cats and Dogs
0 Playsin 50 minutes
It's back to the 90s as Emma & Katie discuss this Uma Thurman/Janeane Garofolo hit, and no, sadly, they don't end up together. We also talk the Saw franchise, peak Millennial slang, Dr. Odyssey/Below Deck threesomes, pearl clutching at phone sex, and probably a bit too much talk about feet.
Fact Check: Janeane Garofolo was not on Mr. Show, but The Ben Stiller Show, which also included Bob Odenkirk and David Cross. So sorry to confuse them.
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Transcript
Introduction to Dream Discussions
00:00:00
Speaker
stuff for the pod no it's not nobody wants to hear about dreams that's the thing like unless you're very unless you're like like very close friends or like you know dating like married to somebody like nobody wants to hear your dream like nobody wants to hear about your dream no yeah yeah my favorite thing is whenever charlie does something that upsets me in my dream and then i'll wake up and be like you're in big trouble mister yeah yeah be like what
00:00:30
Speaker
But he started doing Yes Me Too. and Sometimes you wake up a little mad. Yeah. Yeah. i was like, you were mean to me in my dream. um i have reoccurring zombie dreams, and I don't know. oh dear.
00:00:44
Speaker
Like, it's just a thing that I've had for years and years and years, and they're like very vivid nightmares. watched 12 seasons of The Walking Dead, Emma. I know. Well, this happened before. this was why I was terrified. Not to mention the Book of Carol.
00:00:56
Speaker
I know. Well, I haven't started a Book of Carol yet. Well, your zombie dreams are going to come back. I know. well no i need The Book of Emma. The Book of Emma. I had them before i was like into into watching horror. And so like it was one of the thing reasons why I actively would avoid zombie like movies and shows. Because I would have these nightmares. And um i and then I was just like, I'm going to rewrite the narrative.
00:01:26
Speaker
And take it back. Like you started to, you were able to like lucid dream? like No, like I was able to finally watch The Walking Dead. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without being terrified.
00:01:38
Speaker
Sure, sure. i mean that's the thing. Like, most of the... I do get spooked, like, being alone or, like, walking, you know, from my car at night and stuff about, like, you know, real things and, like, sometimes imaginary things.
Nightmares and Horror Movies
00:01:50
Speaker
But, like, when I watch a horror movie, the number one thing that scares me is, like, I'm gonna have a nightmare about this. You know? like Yeah. I'm gonna have a nightmare about this. It's the nightmares that... nightmare that That really, like, it's this that's the sense of dread, right? Because I don't actually believe in...
00:02:06
Speaker
you know monsters and you know uh supernatural things but like i can certainly dream about them and that'll be a bad time i mean part of me is like i i believe in serial killers like well a hundred percent yeah yeah but most of the movies that i watch you know are not going to be about that like i'm not watching the strangers are you kidding like fuck off That's an act of fear Katie has all the time. Exactly.
00:02:34
Speaker
Why would I watch it? I was telling someone the other day, um because we were talking about, since Scream 7 came out, and we were just talking about franchises. Yeah, I heard it's bad. i heard it's real bad. And I'm sad.
00:02:47
Speaker
But, you that's what happens. Well, you know, it's bad politically. yeah. We shouldn't support them. Well, yeah. But, um, regardless. So I was talking to one of my friends, Griffin, about it. And, um, he was telling me how he started rewatching the Saw series. And I was like, I can't do that. I can't do that. That's, I can't do Saw. And he was like, after... I have Yeah. It gets a little campy.
00:03:16
Speaker
gets a little um i have seen the first two saw movies and that is it but i kind of like both of them yeah um i haven't seen the first one since i was the main thing and the reason why is because when i was 16 years old i was on a i would call it a date but in the brain of a 16 year old boy it was just a hang sesh uh no no Wait, was it just the two of you or were there like a bunch of people? It was the two of us at his house and we watched Saw. and That's a date.
00:03:52
Speaker
That's a date. Right? That's a date. um And ah he was like my first big crush. And i so desperately... That's getting into a lot of just like teenage angst lore. Sure. Anyways, we watched Saw. Which is not what we do on this podcast.
00:04:08
Speaker
Which is definitely not what we do on this podcast. And i famously... There is a scene where a girl gets kidnapped by a guy in a pig mask as she's walking to her car.
00:04:23
Speaker
And so he um so the date ends and I'm like, okay, good night. good just Good to see you. And um so we go to walk out and he lets me, he makes me walk to my car by myself.
00:04:37
Speaker
Oh my God. ah well that's not a date then. That's not a date. That's not a date. That's not name. That's a bad guy also. that Well, he was a bad guy. But like, all in all- A guy you were attracted to in high school?
00:04:50
Speaker
i know, who would have thought? would have thought? The guy who um made Emma Emo- Did he have No, he wasn't in a band. Okay, okay. But ok in a long-winded way that maybe one day my screenplay that I've been slowly writing will come to fruit fruition, ah he is how I ended up hanging out with the emo band. ah Okay, okay. He's how I got into it.
00:05:13
Speaker
do Did he have a goatee? ah He eventually had a goatee. Yeah, I think i know. I
Movie Plot and Characters
00:05:20
Speaker
didn't need to ask, really. He had black hair. and or Well, he had dark hair, and he dyed it darker. and there was a so God.
00:05:27
Speaker
Yep. Yep, yep. ah And he came out. to he was on the football team. um Because everybody was on the football team. And he...
00:05:39
Speaker
for attention, came out to the football team as bi and ah just randomly and isolated himself. Sure, sure. Like you do in high school.
00:05:53
Speaker
Anyways, that's why i won't watch Star.
00:05:59
Speaker
Because of teenage trauma. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, things work out for that girl in the movie, actually. Yeah, well, until the second one I heard. Well, no. um I mean, spoilers for the Saw series, but she ends up becoming his, like, protege and becomes the villain for, like, the next four movies.
00:06:20
Speaker
Oh. It's, what's her name? I can't think of that actress's name, but, yeah, she's one of the major characters of the whole franchise. But, again, I haven't seen those. I've only seen, actually, did I see the third one? I think I've seen the third one. I think we sort of, we watched them, like, as part of, like, an October thing for a couple of years, but then, like, I couldn't get past that. My friend Richard, shout out Richard, listens to the podcast, loves the Saw movies. And I think he's seen all of them.
00:06:44
Speaker
um But um honestly, yeah, I don't, theyre the first two, not bad. I mean, like, I remember being excited that um ah the that Wesley from The Princess Bride was in it. 100%, doing a very believable American accent.
00:07:02
Speaker
Yep, very believable. Have you listened to him? It sounds normal in that movie. Interviews with him now are so bonkers because he's been in the US for so long. It is charlie Charlie's biggest fear is becoming this actor. Developing an Australian accent. Essentially, yes. Because he's not quite British, but he's not quite American. And it yeah sounds real weird.
00:07:22
Speaker
There was this girl. yeah And I can't remember her name, but I worked with her at Borders in New York. And she was English, but she moved to America when she was like 12. And she was like 25 at this point. And she straight up had an Australian accent.
00:07:37
Speaker
Constantly people thought she was Australian. Yeah. It was so weird. Because that's what you get. Like you mix American and British and get Australian. Yeah. Exactly. That's what you get. You get you get straight up Australian.
00:07:50
Speaker
um Straight up Australian. Famously featured. I mean, a British person is in this movie. A British person living in America. Ben Chaplin, who America really thought was going to catch on. Hollywood thought Ben Chaplin was going to be a thing in 1996. They really did. And what a sweet, sweet little baby angel. Sure.
00:08:12
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I don't know anything about him personally, but just from his face and the way that he conducts himself, especially in every movie I've ever seen him in, you just want to go, aww. Which includes this and
00:08:27
Speaker
I feel like I've seen him in other things. Yeah, his name is familiar. Let's find out. well Is he Charlie Chaplin's son? Or grandson? No. No, he's not. No, Una Chaplin Varang from Avatar Fire and Ash is Charlie Chaplin's granddaughter.
00:08:44
Speaker
And from Game of Thrones. Yeah, she's in that as well. She famously is in that. She gets murdered. Yeah. This is a very small cast for a movie, isn't it? Ben Chaplin. Let's see what CBS drama he's been in for the past 15 years. Elementary.
00:09:03
Speaker
No, that's Johnny Lee Miller. But they called in for the same thing. um He has not been in anything, really. ah He was in Mrs. Davis, which I hear is good, but didn't see. It was a miniseries on America's
Feminist Themes and 90s Nostalgia
00:09:20
Speaker
most beloved streaming service, Peacock. Yep.
00:09:23
Speaker
Peacock. He, no. Maybe he does a lot of theater? don't know. He hasn't really been don't know. He looks really familiar. was like, oh, that's good. He plays um the great Lily James's father in the Cinderella remake.
00:09:39
Speaker
Maybe that was it? That was 11 years ago. ah I definitely, I saw that in theaters. Um... Yeah. Oh, he was in he was in the Thin Red Line. Is he like one of the major characters in the Thin Red Line, maybe? I haven't seen the Thin Red Line.
00:09:56
Speaker
oh it's good. um It's one of those movies where they're like, it's it's it's it's Terrence Malick. So he shot like 30 actors out and he shot for like, you know, 100 hours of footage and he cut it down to like a two and a half hour movie and then a bunch of people weren't even in it that he cast.
00:10:14
Speaker
God damn it, dude. But I think Ben Chaplin is maybe one of the ones who like was in for a while. He's in Stage Beauty, which we'll do on this show eventually. Oh, maybe that.
00:10:25
Speaker
He's the, um, no. He's, oh, I've lost. Okay. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Not much. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. He's been in this and he was, and that's pretty much it.
00:10:39
Speaker
um Oh, he was in Birthday Girl. i saw that. the Kidman? That's like a drama with Nicole Kidman. Where she gets weirdly into BDSM.
00:10:51
Speaker
um Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It's real weird. um I remember watching that before knowing what BDSM is. and Sure. you Boy, oh boy.
00:11:02
Speaker
ah Yeah. I'm sure. oh he was in The Water Horse. Oh. Okay. Yeah. there you go um anyways uh british people famously featured in today's film oh right right right i have forgot yeah you guessed it this is go get your girl this is the podcast where oh i mean it's fine go ahead
00:11:31
Speaker
katie has a radio show it's Just based on the way we look right now, let's just let's just go ahead and assign roles. I was going to go with, personality.
00:11:43
Speaker
I got out of bed 10 minutes ago. It's fine. I'm wearing glasses. Katie has a radio show where she's a veterinarian and she gives advice about pet keeping, sort of like car talk, but for pets. yeah Remember car talk?
00:11:59
Speaker
No.
00:12:02
Speaker
bears I believe you do it. I hated it. Um, and, and this very cute boy, ah calls in ah regarding a dog that he got from the pound for a photo shoot. And Katie helps talk him off a ledge with the dog. And he wants to thank her by taking her out on a date. Cause they've got vibes. Um, Um, and so she's like, okay, but then she ghosts him. And then he randomly shows up at her, uh, place of work where also Emma is, who is her stupid neighbor who only dates dumb dumbs.
00:12:45
Speaker
Just continue. It's fine. We'll, we'll, we'll explain in the rest of it later. Uh, and, Katie gets real self-conscious about everything and panics and says that she is Emma and Emma then has to pretend to be Katie and Katie has to pretend to be some rando named Donna. And,
00:13:07
Speaker
And lo and behold, they both fall in love with random British dude. And sparks fly, conflict arises. There's also a bunch of adorable cats and dogs.
00:13:18
Speaker
That's right. I'm Emma. And I'm Katie. And today we are talking about the 1996, that's right, 30 years old. Shut up. Rom-com, right?
00:13:31
Speaker
The truth about cats and dogs. Yeah. I don't think I'd seen this movie since 1996. I, well, here's the thing, like, I also definitely saw it in 1990s. I remember seeing this movie theaters, and, like, I was way too young to see this movie in theaters in 1996. Oh, yeah. We straight up have a phone sex montage. know. They're, like, they're, like, masturbating. And, like, I, there's not a lot of movies that have masturbating in them. Like, really. Oh, yeah. Especially not in the 90s. I'm surprised they got a PG-13 away with that. Right. So this movie is directed.
00:14:08
Speaker
Oh, You know, drinking a like creamy protein drink like 10 minutes after you wake up and then immediately having to talk for an hour. Like just great, great choices over here.
00:14:19
Speaker
We're making positive choices. Michael Lehman, who we have. um Oh, no, no, we haven't. I'm sorry. He has direct he directed a movie called Heather's.
00:14:30
Speaker
Heard of it. um He directed Hudson Hawk, 40 Days and 40 Nights, oh and one of Caitlin's favorite movies, Airheads.
00:14:45
Speaker
It is written by Audrey Wells, who we have done a movie by before. She wrote Under the Tuscan Sun. Hi. Aunt George of the Jungle And then she died in 2018 From cancer Which we talked about in Under Tuskenstein episode But she was most Before she started writing movies She was a radio DJ in San Francisco And this is her first screenplay So she wrote about it about a Do we think it's like being semi-autographical?
00:15:14
Speaker
um I don't think so. the um The other thing about this movie is that apparently it was changed heavily after Uma Thurman got cast. It was an indie movie. And Janine Garofalo ah got attached to it. And, um you know, through like some alternative comedy stuff. Because Janine Garofalo was, I mean...
00:15:34
Speaker
As we can tell from the cameos on the Mr. Show, ah the famous HBO sketch comedy show with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, who both appear in this movie. Yep. um
00:15:47
Speaker
And she had done Reality Bites two years previously, so which was a big hit. Yeah. um And then two years previously, Uma Thurman had been in Pulp Fiction. yeah And when she got cast, ah it kind of, it became a much bigger production. It moved to 20th Century Fox. And a lot of things got rewritten, apparently. Janine Garofalo disowns the movie and says it's anti-feminist and thinks that it was destroyed um from the version that that she originally wanted to make. So God knows what that was. Right?
00:16:24
Speaker
Maybe they ended up together. Maybe it was lesbian movie. Maybe it was. ah I mean, I would love that. There were moments that I was like, are they going kiss now? They have such great chemistry. Like, it's super sweet. It's great chemistry. Yeah, I loved it. um I don't think this movie is anti-feminist. I also don't think this movie is anti-feminist. I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. i think for the ninety s it's very feminist. Because it does make a lot of really good points.
00:16:49
Speaker
Yeah, and it never, it doesn't like, based on the premise of this movie, like, it's not nearly as as rough as you think it is. Like, um we'll get into it. We'll get into it. Yeah, exactly. Real quick, I just wanted to say that Uma Thurman is 26 in this movie, and Janine Garofalo is 32. Chaplin is and Jimmy is Little baby Jamie Foxx. I know. And I didn't look it up, but this is this has got to be one of his earliest roles, right? Oh, yeah.
00:17:19
Speaker
Yeah. There was a moment at the end where I was like, oh, yeah, remember Jamie Foxx was in this movie? Yeah, he disappears for a while. He disappears for like two thirds, probably three quarters of this film. He is in like maybe three scenes. And I mean, he makes an impression, but um there's a big old gap where he's just gone. Yeah. yeah which is Which is common for a best friend character, especially the the the man's best friend in a rom-com. Oh, yeah.
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah. Well, especially because, like, in this one, the, like, best friend, the female best friend, it's partially their story about becoming best friends. So there's no, quote-unquote, female best friend.
00:17:59
Speaker
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. um Yeah, so Uma Thurman gets top billing, even though Jeannie Garofalo is firmly the main character of this movie. Yes. Oh, absolutely. But, you know, she's a bigger star. Yeah. um Also, we should say that Jeannie Garofalo is 5'1", and Uma Thurman is 6 feet tall.
00:18:15
Speaker
And it makes for great comedy. Yes, it does. Well, although, like, they cheat around it a lot. um ah they i I know that Janine Garofalo is standing on boxes in, like, a lot of these scenes because she's she's still too tall compared to her in some of these shots, yeah.
00:18:33
Speaker
It just looks like, um what's what is that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito? Twins? Twins. It just looks like cover of Twins. Junior. Yep.
00:18:45
Speaker
It's just like constantly, like when they're walking into the bar, it's just like. Yeah. When they're walking, it's, it's the, the way you can tell the most. Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. um It's yeah. It's cute.
00:18:58
Speaker
So um we start with Jeannie Garofalo going into work where a man holds the door open for a bunch of beautiful women and then lets the door slam in her face. Very, yeah very subtle. Oh yeah. Yeah.
00:19:10
Speaker
And we learned that she is a vet who has a radio show where she gives advice about animals, which like. Very sweet. only Only in the 90s. Only in the 90s. You could have a podcast about that now, but like. Yeah.
00:19:24
Speaker
This is like a big radio show in in Los Angeles that's like. Yeah. Oh, God.
Comedic Elements and Relationships
00:19:28
Speaker
It's car talk, but for pets. Yeah. Whatever car talk is.
00:19:35
Speaker
I mean, I assume it's a radio show about cars. It is. It's on NPR and it's two comedians and they give advice about cars and they make lots of jokes and my parents loved it and they would make me listen to it when they would pick me up from ballet and I hated it.
00:19:51
Speaker
I'm surprised. I'm sure my father must have listened to it because my dad was a big car guy. um She's on the phone with what is clearly David Cross. um like Instantly I was like, that's David Cross. yeahp I was like, who are these fucking comedians?
00:20:05
Speaker
And then immediately it was Robin Williams afterward. Like you just, both of them are just very recognizable voices. Yeah. It's like. thought it was Robin Williams, but i was like, no way. They would not just get Robin Williams just to do Oh, he did that shit all the time. Like he would do audio. He did. He's, he's got like um little cameos in so many movies in the nineties. Yeah. um She goes home and she says, hi baby head to her cat, which is so accurate.
00:20:31
Speaker
So accurate. Love her. um And she lives down the hall from a model, Uma Thurman. Beautiful apartment complex. Oh, yeah. Just hysteria everywhere. Like, this is what you think living in L.A. would look like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They live like, I think it's Santa Monica. They live very close to the beach. Yeah.
00:20:55
Speaker
and um oh and then we have a maryland rice cub call in too like that's the the the third voice i i did look her up but she was just in um uh sweet home alabama and she's got cameo in this but all three all of them were on i mean robin williams wasn't on mr show but um and then bob odenkirk shows up later like all all the mr show people are here because that's what janine garofalo got her her break on yeah um did you watch mr show um I've seen bits of it. I never watched it like religiously.
00:21:24
Speaker
um it it was sort of under the radar for me because I was so into SNL. Yeah, it was um it was weirder and um and like it's definitely definitely a different vibe from SNL. One thing I really liked about Mr. Show is unlike every other sketch show that's ever been, like they they have a solution to how do you end the sketch?
00:21:49
Speaker
So on Mr. Show, what they do is they just, every sketch bleeds into the next one. So it's like 30 minutes of every sketch, like kind of takes a turn at the end of it where they end up somewhere else. And then you're in a new sketch.
00:22:01
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's such a 90s thing. Which is a good way to do it. such a ninety s thing like I don't know if you felt this way, but throughout this entire movie, and it was probably like the look of the movie, the sound of the movie, the entire feel of the movie, it made me feel like I was in you know, at like 2 a.m.
00:22:19
Speaker
in the 90s when you would have infomercials for oh yeah for like new age music. um Pure moods? Yeah, pure moods. It felt like that in a coffee shop smelling of patchouli.
00:22:37
Speaker
Like it just felt so 90s. It felt yeah so quintessentially 90s. Like I wanted some brown lip liner just from sitting there. Yeah. like Yeah, I get that. I was like, where's my cappuccino at nine o'clock at night listening to Kenny G?
00:22:53
Speaker
Oh man. um Like adult 90s. Not like kid 90s. Like adult 90s. it's yeah it's it's very um It's very of the era. It's hard to to describe it. Yeah.
00:23:07
Speaker
um And then we get dog on roller skates. Ben Chaplin calls in, who's English, and How's your dog? He has, yeah, like you said in the ah in the little synopsis, there's this dog on roller skates, which is like such a great image. The dog loves it. Clearly dog is trained in roller skates. He's doing that like wo um slide around the Yeah, the dog is so good.
00:23:31
Speaker
It's going across and then like at one point just walking and then just like going across again. It's, oh, that dog is, that dog is an excellent dog actor. Hank, he's a great I'd say that dog is up there with Indy from, from,
00:23:44
Speaker
ah ah ah Good boy? dog Good boy, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Andy, what a good boy. What a good boy. What a good boy. And she gives him some advice about, she's like, first thing, she's like, you got to get into the submissive position.
00:23:59
Speaker
Yes. Like, hell yeah, queen. i And helps him with the dog. And he calls the station to thank her. And like, they have like a little conversation and he's like,
00:24:13
Speaker
why don't why don't we meet at the thing I'd like to thank you in person? And she's like, okay. And he's like, what do you look like? And then she describes Uma Thurman, which is like- Out of a panic. Come on, man. Like, yeah why are you doing this?
00:24:26
Speaker
Because she has no self-esteem. That's her main so like journey as a person. And the thing about this movie is there, it's kind of predicated on the notion that Janine Garofalo is not hot, which is crazy. That's a lie. um Because Janine Garofalo is is definitely hot. She's beautiful.
00:24:47
Speaker
like She was a sex symbol in the 90s of like a certain kind of person for sure. I don't think she was she was a sex symbol. she was she was live action daria she was a she was a nerdy sex symbol 100 like okay okay like um like uh aubrey plaza you know like yeah i'll i'll give you that i'll give you that yeah i was like not in the way that uma thurman was yeah compared to uma thurman i i would i can see like how like
00:25:20
Speaker
yeah Aubrey Plaza and Margot Robbie could remake this easily. You'd have to find someone shorter. Well, I mean...
00:25:32
Speaker
Margot Robbie's nearly six feet tall. I don't think... No, no, Margot Robbie's not that tall, actually. She's margo robbie surprisingly short for an Australian. Yeah. yeah Yeah, she's not that tall. So it would have to be like... um Oh, God, who's super tall? Zendaya?
00:25:47
Speaker
Zendaya?
00:25:51
Speaker
Zendaya is very tall. Actually Zendaya Tom Holland could probably remake this. It's a funky bisexual Gen Z. Right. That's cute actually.
00:26:02
Speaker
That's really cute. I would would really love that actually. Yeah. um That would be really good film. Yeah. Anyway. So she stands him up.
00:26:14
Speaker
um ah Poor Brian. um Just a nice boy. She plays the violin. She does. um And then she hears Uma Thurman's shitty boyfriend screaming at her. Yeah. And she goes, because I thought I heard someone calling. I heard dumb bitch and I thought someone was calling my name. And he goes, I'm not talking to you. She goes, your name is dumb bitch, too.
00:26:36
Speaker
fair do you think we're related? huh and then, of course, he says, you're an ugly dumb bitch to her. One thing about this movie is like, yeah, it is kind of predicated on this notion that she is ugly, but it's not really. Yeah. What it's really about is like, she's not ugly and Uma Thurman isn't stupid, but they both think that they are.
00:26:59
Speaker
um she is she has very She has low self-esteem and Uma Thurman has low self-esteem too, just not about her looks. Like yeah she doesn't have confidence her. Because she's always been treated shittily by shitty men. She's yeah been treated like she's stupid. And I think that's clear when you watch the movie. But maybe if you don't pay attention, you might miss it. Yeah.
00:27:23
Speaker
It's not like pushed in your face so much as it is beautiful subtext. Yeah, they do. I mean, they mention it a couple of times, but it's not, it's, yeah, it's certainly not underlined. Yeah, and it it explains why she, like, goes for Ben Chaplin.
00:27:40
Speaker
You know, why Uma Thurman goes for Ben Chaplin. Because he calls her so smart, and she's just like, nobody's ever called me that before. And he gives her a book. And she's like, nobody's ever given me a book without pictures before. Yeah, which is funny. Fuck. Also, watching little 26-year-old Uma Thurman, God, her genes, did she just clone herself with Maya Hawke?
00:28:04
Speaker
Because identical. Yeah. 26-year-old Uma Thurman has got big Maya Hawke energy. I mean, Maya Hawke is like... Maya Hawke is kind of like ah like ah like a baby giraffe in a lot of ways. Like, Maya Hawke has that...
00:28:24
Speaker
awkwardness that Uma Thurman ima thurmand is is graceful and like yeah you know carries herself like ah like a model and Maya Hawke is goofy and like awkward yeah she had to inherit something from her father yeah also notorious dreamboat Ethan Hawke yeah i would say is Ethan Hawke goofy and clumsy no I mean no she's I love Maya Hawke I love Maya Hawke so much Can we do Do Revenge on this somehow? oh we absolutely will because love that movie. I love that movie so much.
00:29:00
Speaker
um But ah yes, can you imagine? Uma Thurman is only 24 in Pulp Fiction. That's crazy. That's insane. That's a baby. Well, I mean, again, but like that character is older than this character in this movie. You know what i mean? Yeah.
00:29:17
Speaker
She's supposed to be in her like 30s, right? In Pulp Fiction? Yeah, I don't know. it doesn't really, it doesn't really say, but she's definitely more mature. Her character is more mature in that movie than in this movie. Yeah. Yeah. um So, yes. Oh, yeah. so um her asshole boyfriend breaks Janine Garofalo's bow.
00:29:38
Speaker
ah Roy, yes. Her violin bow. yeah And so the next day, Uma Thurman brings her flowers and a new bow, which is very sweet. It's so sweet. And then they become best friends. Yeah.
00:29:52
Speaker
Janine Garofalo, and neither one of them have any friends, apparently, in this movie. That's always how it is, like, when... characters in movies become best friends like they don't have friends before that they've never had a friend their whole lives nope until they meet the co-star of the movie yeah yep well i have to assume that like janine garofalo is a workaholic in her 30s and she just doesn't have time for friendship and like closest thing to her friends that you kind of get a hint of at the end is her co-workers and Yeah, she has like, you know, there's a relationship there for sure. Yeah, yeah and Uma Thurman is a model.
00:30:35
Speaker
And people don't like her because she's so pretty.
00:30:40
Speaker
Was the subtext there. Right? Yeah. So yeah, um she and they become best friends and they they have like a conversation. Janine Garofalo mentioned she hasn't had sex in three years, which is wild.
00:30:53
Speaker
and Insane. but But she does say ah this is the electric age. ah The electric age. it Sounds like Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla like right fighting in the newspapers. um Or vibrators. Yeah. um ah And she goes, Thurman Uma Thurman's not eating at this little cafe they're at. yeah And um she's like, do you think you are what you eat? And Gina Garofalo's like, well, sure, I guess. And she's like, and I don't eat anything. That's what I'm worried about.
00:31:24
Speaker
Like, and on the inside, that there's nothing. I'm like, Uma Thurman? Buddy, it's okay, beautiful, beautiful baby. um ah but we oh yeah, we did forget. she...
00:31:35
Speaker
she ah she want she She comes to visit her at the radio station and then she sits in Jeanne Garofalo's chair. So when Ben Chaplin shows up with the dog, he happens to see her in the radio station chair. Like he's coming there looking for Abby, which is Jeanne Garofalo's character.
00:31:55
Speaker
He looks at the photos of all the DJs on the wall. And instead of a photo of her, it's a photo of a dog and a cat, which is like, of course. course it is. because no No self-confidence. Yeah, yeah.
00:32:07
Speaker
Don't relate to that at all. And um ah she... Katie. it He sees her in the chair and then Gene Garofalo's like, pretend to be me. And Heather was like, yeah, sure, whatever. No no no questions.
00:32:23
Speaker
Sure, yeah, whatever you say. That's fine. And introduces herself as Abby. And then Gene Garofalo's like, hi, I'm Tammy or whatever her name. What is it?
00:32:34
Speaker
Donna? Donna. donna yeah um and then they start this whole cyrano de bergerac shit it's like oh man it's a whole how did we how did we get into this like how did we get into this what's wrong with i mean she is a dumb bitch let's be real um well is this our first cyrano because i feel like that's another like trope in rom-com movies is the remake of cyrano Yes, yes. I mean, it this doesn't quite go as far into Cyrano as a lot of others. Yeah.
00:33:06
Speaker
The whole thing about Cyrano is it's this dumb kind of guy is in love with this woman, Roxanne, and he gets this smart, ugly man. And in Cyrano, he's just enormously, like, he's ugly because he has a really long nose, right? Yeah.
00:33:26
Speaker
It's also French, so, you know. Yeah. But doesn't everybody in France have long noses? Whoa! We just lost all of our listeners in France.
00:33:39
Speaker
We did. um ah Just be désolée.
00:33:45
Speaker
I'm French-Canadian. yeah. he enlists the help. and so he enlists the help Of Cyrano to make him sound smarter and write letters for him um ah signing his name and to woo the beautiful Roxanne, who Cyrano falls in love with intellectually, right?
00:34:08
Speaker
Yes. And she falls in love with Cyrano. And but famously, like the famous scene in Cyrano is where Christian is talking to Roxanne and s Cyrano is feeding him lines. So in like most like straight adaptations of Cyrano, you'll have some version of that. There's a um there's a movie called The Half of It, which is a a fun teen bisexual Cyrano de Bergerac riff, which we'll definitely do on this show. yeah And they, yeah, they you have to kind of, that's like the obligatory scene in Cyrano. And they don't do that in this really.
00:34:39
Speaker
no i kept expecting, I kept expecting them to, and they don't really go for that. The closest they get is when she's trying to pretend to be Abby and um Abby's feeding her what to say because it's like that moment where she was supposed to tell him um that she wasn't Abby and she panics and she doesn't and he like rushes her to the studio and she has to like go in the air. Like that's the closest you get.
00:35:06
Speaker
but Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's it's for, like, a second, really. like And that she gets he gets out of there really quickly. and he And she's not talking to him. Like, she's on the on radio. Yeah. um And ah yeah, so they become friends, which is like the the centerpiece of this movie, really. It's really like, it's it's it's got a lot it's got a lot of platonic calm um yeah in it as well. It's a friendship calm, which I love.
00:35:32
Speaker
Yes. I love because like at the end of the day, like like how can you say this movie anti-feminist? At the end of the day, like it's about two people realizing what's ruining their friendship.
00:35:43
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. um And they they don't really, and even though like they do like start competing for this man's affection, it's it's not in the way that you normally see in a movie like this. like They don't try to sabotage each other. They never really do anything to one another. They it's they remain friends, and they continue to support each other, and they...
00:36:09
Speaker
They don't want to hurt the other one. It's just, yeah she's with him and has and ah has a connection with him because of Abby. Like, that's the thing. Like, when she hangs out with him, it's like what you said. Like, he gets her a book of letters Simone de Beauvoir wrote to Jean-Paul Sartre. And she's like, no one's ever gotten me a book before. No one's ever thought I was smart or interesting. They just, ah like, treat me like...
00:36:36
Speaker
you know, a pretty nothing, which is what you see, like, when Janine Graffalo and her are hanging out in this, like, first scene, and they go to this bookstore, and Bob Odenkirk and David Cross are there. Because, of course. And...
00:36:50
Speaker
And like people just, they treat Uma Thurman like shittily. The same way men treat Janine Garofalo shittily. Just, yes i mean, not the same way, but they, both of them are treated shittily by men in different ways yeah because of the way they look in different ways. And it is this thing where it's like, you know, oh poor, beautiful Uma Thurman, you know? But, like, it is. is.
00:37:14
Speaker
ah you People who look like that, like, get treated horribly by Yeah. like yeah Their looks are, you know, the main focus. Yeah. And, and like, and women definitely like, you know, look at someone who looks like that and have preconceived notions about her. Right. like Exactly. Yeah.
00:37:33
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. And so like at the very core of this film, it is sort of about, you know, it's not necessarily the truth about cats and dogs. It's the truth about like how women are perceived in society.
00:37:47
Speaker
I mean, like, again, like, but based on the science that we've already established on the show, you know, all dogs are boys and all cats are girls. Like, that is, I feel like there's a double meaning in that in that title, you know? Yep.
00:38:01
Speaker
Well, isn't it also the name of her radio show? It is the name of her radio show, yes. um and And tortoises. Yep.
00:38:13
Speaker
Oh, we can't forget about the tortoise. So, yes. um she she tells He's like, so what do you do, Donna? She's like, I make cheese and we have these goats. and Yep. I get them from France. and There's a lot of Janine Garofalo like improv-ing, I feel like, in some of this shit. i'm not i' I can't be sure, but I feel like that's what's happening. yeah Just based on her 90s, acerbic,
00:38:41
Speaker
kind of comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. um But like, it does start out with, They do the drink. Janine Garofalo is like, this is what happened. I told him that I look like you blah, blah, blah. And Uma Thurman's like, well, you can't do that. You have to have more self-confidence. You need to tell him that it's you. And I'm sure that he'll be like, oh, great. Because he fell in love with that he or he is what interested him was your show and your voice. um So you have to go tell him the truth. And so they start out with good intentions.
00:39:14
Speaker
and going to the bar to tell him the truth the three of them
90s Slang and Cultural References
00:39:20
Speaker
and yep umma thurman goes to the bathroom and janine garofalo panics and lies yeah i mean janine garofalo causes all the problems in this like she really does umma thurman kind of blameless um um until like the set the last bird yeah yeah yeah for sure yeah So, um yes, they go back to his photography studio, the three of them. Like, now what does he think is going on? It very much feels like they're going to have a threesome. Yes, yes. It repeatedly sets that up. Yeah, which, like, and i'm like but if they made the movie now, they probably would do. yeah Right? I was like, just challengers it.
00:39:57
Speaker
I'm trying to think of, like, a movie where, like, they straight up have a threesome. And, like, there's a bunch of movies where they, like, faint in that direction, but they never go through with it, you know? Um, E2 Mama Tambien?
00:40:10
Speaker
That's not a rom-com. Oh, you just said movie. Oh, you're right, you're right, you're right. For this show, I mean, like... um Yes, because like, what is the one movie um um with ah Charlie Day and Jenny Slate? They almost have a threesome in that.
00:40:31
Speaker
Yeah, i want you back. They almost have a threesome in that. there's i feel like there's a bunch of like more recent, obviously, rom-coms where like, that starts to become a thing. Cause even in challengers, they don't actually have the threesome. Like they, they back out.
00:40:44
Speaker
I've never seen challenge. You've been seeing challenge. oh challengers I know. i know it's, I feel like it is, i would really love it. And I know that Charlie would love it Cause he loves tennis. um and of course he loves tennis and uh i mean the boy you were gonna say threesomes the boy loves th no the boy loves tennis he really loves tennis and he anything about tennis anything about sports he's all for if it's like not baseball he's sure sure sure um we can do challengers on this show like it's it's not a rom-com but it's like it's close enough Yeah, it's close enough. Yeah. Yeah. no We could totally good. um I feel like it's a summer movie. It makes me feel like summer.
00:41:28
Speaker
Oh, it definitely is. Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. We'll put it in our back pocket. um So um while they're at his photography studio, ah Jimmy Fox shows up with his niece whose tortoise is sick and needs a shot.
00:41:42
Speaker
And Janine Garofalo is like, listen, Uma Thurman, you're going give this tortoise a shot. and you have to stick your finger in his butt. Yes. Because that's why, I missed why. wow it will so it so it'll come out of its shell, and you can grab his leg to put the shot Oh, okay. I was just like, i just saw the saran wrap on the finger, and then the whoop. of Yeah.
00:42:09
Speaker
um so she does that. And this is when Jamie Foxx tells Ben Chaplin that Uma Thurman is all that in a bag of chips, which I don't think I'd ever actually heard someone say out loud before.
00:42:21
Speaker
it's one of those, like, 90s slang dictionary kind of things. It's like, people actually said that? Um, that's so funny that you say that because this is Charlie's Corner. Charlie's Corner. Charlie's Corner. Oi, governor.
00:42:37
Speaker
Hehehehe. He turned to me after that and he was like, what the hell? That is not a saying. And I was like, do you not have that over in the UK? And he goes, no.
00:42:50
Speaker
I mean, know apparently we had it in America. I knew it as like, because because there was the kids sketch show called All That, which was, you know, like, and she's all that. All that.
00:43:02
Speaker
Like, all that is definitely a a phrase, but it's kind of like, It's it's one of the it's like one of those things where it's like it's the it's the second iteration of it where it's like, yeah, I read somewhere in a magazine of like 90s slang that people would say all that in a bag of chips. And like, I've never heard anyone say all that in a bag of chips. I feel like but I've only heard it in television and movies. I've never heard a person actually say it. But I knew that it was like a 90s-ism. It's like goaded with the sauce. Like people say goaded a lot, but I've never actually heard anyone say goaded with the sauce. Although it is an expression that is somehow documented.
00:43:40
Speaker
Have you ever heard anyone say goaded with the sauce? No, I don't. Is that like oh the Gen Z says? No, I don't think it's a thing anyone says.
00:43:52
Speaker
It's like all that with a bag in a bag of chips. It's like, yes, goaded. People say goaded all the time, but never have I ever heard anyone actually say it. Goaded with the sauce.
00:44:02
Speaker
Yeah. Ridiculous. I can't even remember like what 2000 isms like we had. I know there's like totes m'goats. Um, yeah, yeah. Totes m'goats. Um, awkward, ah awkward, awkward turtle. Yeah. Oh my God. I've been listening to this old podcast. Okay. all right. Um,
00:44:21
Speaker
going off on a tangent so there was this podcast that i used to listen to in like 2012 2013 one of the earliest podcasts i listened to it was called good job brain it's a pub quiz trivia podcast which like used to do pub quiz every week and i was super into this podcast it was like these four funny people doing this and they quit the podcast at one they just stopped making like no explanation or anything apparently there was some like personal like relationship stuff that happened with one of the people and like got really bad and so
Character Dynamics and Intimacy
00:44:55
Speaker
they didn't do it and then for whatever reason i fell down like a wikipedia hole and i found something no it was reddit i found somebody talking on reddit about the podcast and i was like oh yeah i wonder whatever happened there and i checked their website and apparently they came back in 2021 and have been making episodes ever since oh
00:45:14
Speaker
And so was like, oh, hell yeah, I'll listen to this. And so I listened to some episodes and I was like, yeah, maybe I'll listen to some of the old ones. That'll be fun. And started listening to episodes of this podcast from 2012. And it was a different time. Like 2012 doesn't seem like it was that long ago, but like it was 14 years ago. 14 years ago, 2012. Shut up. It is like,
00:45:37
Speaker
shut up it is so like painfully cringe millennial like the way that they speak like the way that they're like the number of times people say awesome um like oh god we were all it's like 2012 was like the height of like like epic bacon cupcake millennial culture bullshit it's like extreme mus mustaches like it's it's so embarrassing and like they can't help but it was 2012 like i'm sure i'm sure i talked like that in 2012 too pretty sure i did as well
00:46:16
Speaker
the culture has moved on and so have we, but like some people don't, some people don't move on from the culture when they were like, you know, 20, 25 years old.
00:46:29
Speaker
Yeah. And that is, that is, um, that is how you get cringe people. That is how you get cringe. One day we're going to cringe at the phrase cringe.
00:46:41
Speaker
Um, we probably, I mean, we probably already should, honestly, that's another one. yeah Um, It's just so, it's so, it's so, um it's so evocative. It's like, it's a good definition. Yeah, it really is. It, it, I mean, how else are you supposed to explain that feeling? Yeah.
00:46:58
Speaker
Um, yeah. So I, I, I forgot about awkward turtle. Um. Awkward turtle making babies. Oh, I see something. It's like, up it goes up. Yep. Yep. Yep.
00:47:10
Speaker
i a Anyway, I hope no one listening to this knows what we're talking about. um Because we have so many young listeners. I mean, I don't know who listens to this show.
00:47:24
Speaker
So anyways, they don't have- Write in and tell us how old you are,
00:47:34
Speaker
ah so Uma Thurman takes her to the makeup counter. Yeah, okay. She's like, listen, you helped me. I want to help you. Yeah. She looks like a clown. um Yeah.
00:47:48
Speaker
And she has like a meltdown in the shoe department. Well, that makeup. That lady knew what she was doing. That makeup girl did her dirty. Like she immediately looks at her and gives her like this look. um ah It's ah what what a nasty makeup counter lady. Like. Right. The the girls at the Clinique counter would never. um their little lab coats um so uma thurman wants to be a newscaster uh she's a model and she wants to read the news and but she always smiles when she talks about tragedies yeah and it's really so funny she's like her audition is about um what is it is a bus crash or something
00:48:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's like some kind of horrible accident, but she keeps smiling because like that's how she's been trained to talk to people. Yeah. Yeah. Bless. This is when she tells Ima Thurman, this is when Ima Thurman tells her, she goes, I'd fuck you. And she goes, thank you, honey. I know you would. Just like yeah women being friends. Exactly. Women supporting women.
00:48:54
Speaker
Yeah. She, this is when she tells her she has low self-esteem. They're taking quizzes in a magazine and one of them is like, is your boyfriend a loser? And the other one is like, do you have low self-esteem? Which is like and they laser targeted to both of them. yeah Exactly.
00:49:09
Speaker
um And this is when Noelle, which is Abby, which is Uma Thurman's character, tells Jean Garofalo, she's like, okay, so i gave um I gave him your number. So he's going to call you. And she's like, what do you mean you gave him my number? Yeah.
00:49:26
Speaker
And then we have the up all night conversation. the up all And it's so sweet until it gets weird. so it's so like It's so nostalgic. It's so realistic. like Everybody has one of these. like The thing where like you just talk to somebody and nothing nothing happens. You just stay up all night talking. Whether it's in person or whether it's on the phone. I'm a big phone talker even now. like I'll talk to my some of my friends on the phone for you know hours like i mean we we do this every week so we don't need to this is like our phone call exactly yeah um but i um simplifies it for the world exactly
00:50:11
Speaker
uh it's i've always been a phone talker but like yeah it's some of like those early parts of relationships like you could just like you can just stay up all night and talk about everything you talk about your whole life like She plays the violin for him and he reads Roland Barthes to her. It's like- They take a bath together.
00:50:28
Speaker
They take a bath together. it's it's very um It's very nostalgic for like the beginning of of relationships where you like care a lot about this person, but you haven't like maybe even gone on a date yet. It's just like the very, very beginning of something.
00:50:44
Speaker
And then they have phone sex, which is yeah like a very 90s thing. yeah I mean like now where they would be there would be like sexting scene. Yeah. yeah yeah um and it's so awkward. It's so awkward. I guess people did this. Kind of don't and kind of do at the same time. Yeah. I guess people did this in the 90s. Like, have you have you ever had phone sex, Emma? No, I've never had phone sex. No, me neither. No, it's weird. ah It's so weird.
00:51:16
Speaker
It's so weird. And they're like masturbating. And like, they're like, they're like, are you, are you touching it? And he's like, are you touching it? ah Yeah. Like the the hand of her, the shot of her hand like sliding under the sheets. I'm like, what is this rated?
00:51:32
Speaker
Right? And then there's just like a lot of like under sheet action with their hands. yes Yes. And I'm like, cream how are you jerking off? It's pretty graphic, honestly. I was like, it's like clutching my pearls. Right. And like the cat's there and the cat goes, meh.
00:51:51
Speaker
Yeah, and the dog is there. It's like, don't include them. Don't include them. Don't include them. Lock them out of the bedroom. um ah Crazy. i Right. Right.
00:52:04
Speaker
And then um he's like, I wish you were here. And she's like, I wish you were here. And he goes, okay, and hangs up. and she's like, oh no. How does he know where she lives is my question.
00:52:16
Speaker
Because. what point do they tell him where she she lives? Oh, I was thinking like he had he had come there before, hadn't he? No, he hadn't come there before. He just like shows up.
00:52:28
Speaker
And how does like, I mean, like the studio. Okay, you can figure out where the studio is. um But like, how does he know where she lives? He just shows up at her apartment. Oh, that's a good point. Which apartment is hers? Because he's shouting at her window.
00:52:42
Speaker
And I'm like, i could when I was watching the movie, I thought I thought of that. And i thought, oh, wait, no, he's already. But no, I guess he hasn't. Yeah. Interesting. I mean, maybe Uma Thurman told.
00:52:55
Speaker
i mean, I guess when she gave him her number, she was like, oh, yeah. Also, here's my address. Yeah, that's that would be crazy. and also i mean, they do go to his I mean, they do go to his apartment the first night that they meet him, which is crazy. But like. I mean, there is that bit where she's he's like, I know why you're here. it's in case I'm my a serial killer, you're here for protection. yeah. That's why there's three of them. That's very sweet, yeah. um But he shows up and she does she goes full Mrs. Doubtfire. She puts cream all over her face and goes like, Hello! Mayonnaise all over her face. Oh, it is mayonnaise. It is mayonnaise, yes. It's so gross. It made me want to vomit.
00:53:34
Speaker
Yeah. And like one of those like ice eye mask things that you put in the freezer. Yeah. Um, and she's like yelling at him from the balcony. It's so weird.
00:53:47
Speaker
Down there. Um, is Mrs. Doubtfire rom-com? Can we talk about Mrs. Doubtfire the show? I mean, I feel like we could, but no, cause they don't end up together. No, they don't. They don't. Yeah. It's more of a rom-com about him repairing his relationship with his children.
00:54:05
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. um And also some some ah some awkward, weird gender stuff. Yeah. yeah I mean, I'm sure we have a lot to talk about.
00:54:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. we can We can do anything we want. That's the thing. Exactly. It's our podcast. He asks for ah something of hers to give to him. yeah And she she grabs her underwear and then throws it down and then picks up a shoe and throws him her shoe.
00:54:35
Speaker
Which is like, okay, there's two things. Two things, Ben Chaplin. One, Brian, the character's name is Brian. Brian. Like when he meets Janine Gray, so he meets Uma Thurman in the first place. He says, you don't sound like you do on the radio. And she's like, oh, you know, the microphone changes it. Like it put on my NPR voice. Yeah. Yeah. And, but then he meets Jean Garofalo, who sounds exactly like she does the radio. Right, yeah and he doesn't blink twice. And it does not clock it at all. Like, yeah crazy. Well, the whole idea is that he's, like, blinded by Uma Thurman's beauty.
00:55:08
Speaker
Yeah, but still. Like, she sounds like if he didn't meet Jeanine Garofalo and had to buy that that wasn't Uma Thurman's voice, that'd be one thing. But the fact that Uma Thurman is right there.
00:55:19
Speaker
Yeah. He doesn't recognize her voice. And secondly... Uma Thurman, much like me, wears a size 11. And Ginny Garofalo, who's five one I presume wears a size like 5. Like, I mean, i have i have I have a good friend who's 5'1", and her suit her shoe size is 5. Like, yeah she can't, we are very similar in that we cannot find shoes in shoe stores for opposite reasons.
00:55:49
Speaker
I did think about that when she threw the shoe. I was like, it's going to give away that it's, she's not Uma Thurman. but no, he's stupid. It's going to be tiny little baby shoe. Yeah. Uma Thurman and Nicole Kidman, also six feet tall, wears a size 11. And I looked this up because the poster, the poster for baby girl is, is supposed to be Nicole Kidman's feet. Like, right? Like, have you seen this poster? Like stepping out of a thing? And I saw that and I was like, those aren't Nicole Kidman's feet. There's no fucking way.
00:56:20
Speaker
Like those size sevens in that poster. Sorry. You've got a foot model. That is not Nicole Kidman. Sorry. aver So sad. Nicole Kidman, just like me. i mean, Uma Thurman, like again, in Kill Bill, famous long close up on her feet.
00:56:36
Speaker
Yep. Courtesy of Quentin Tarantino. Yeah. Those are not, those are, those are not Jeanine Gruffalo. We know Uma Thurman has big stompers. Yeah.
00:56:48
Speaker
Um, I'm allowed to say it. I'm not criticizing her. Katie oso has size 11 feet. Yes. Um, shoes, you can send them to. No, I'm actually uncomfortable with it now. like I don't want to end up on wiki feet.
00:57:02
Speaker
Um,
00:57:07
Speaker
uh, yes. So. right Okay. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Um, looser guys and how to spot them. um ah Noelle realizes that her boyfriend is a piece of shit. Yep.
00:57:20
Speaker
Janine Garofalo goes, tell me something I don't know. Yeah. Janine Garofalo goes to see him at his studio. i don't know uar Uma Thurman goes to see him at his studio. She's so awkward and weird. So um And he he tries to, he feeds her cake and she's like, no, I don't eat. And he like,
00:57:43
Speaker
This is when he gives her the book. This is when like she starts to like get feelings for him. But again, her feelings for him are based on his interest in her as a person, which is not really her. And the reason she's attracted to him is because no one has ever been attracted to her for who she is. Yeah. They've only ever been attracted to her for her looks. And she like the reason when she goes to his studio in the first place is because she's like, okay, well we need you know, end this. We need to like set the record straight. So what we're going to do is we're going to, I'm going to go over to a studio. What during your radio show. Yes, it's her plan, And then he'll be like, how are you in two places at once? I can't be in two places at once. And so, like, it starts to happen, but then she panics because she starts to get feels for him because he starts, you know, paying attention to her as a person. He makes her feel good about herself as a person, which is not something that she's experienced with in a relationship before, which sucks. Yeah.
00:58:49
Speaker
Yeah. And so she panics and she's like, I'm gonna be late! Yeah. And so he has rush her. Well, because she has the radio on and and the intro comes on. It's like, Dr. Abby whatever is on in like five minutes. And he's like, oh no, we'll get you to the studio. Yeah.
00:59:08
Speaker
Oh, man. And so they rush to the studio and she gets there. And that's when you get your sort of like semi Cyrano scene where she's sitting at the desk, like running out of air.
00:59:19
Speaker
And Janine Garofalo is underneath the desk going like trying to like coach her through what to say. Yeah, yeah. um And he he well, he hears her on the radio in the car before she gets in the building. And so he runs up to follow her. He's like, what's going on? And then she's like, oh, there was a, we started wrote running a tape of an earlier episode. Just like, man, fast thinking, Janine Garofalo. Right? Boy, oh boy.
00:59:48
Speaker
And ah this is when Uma Thurman says, he said I was smart. I couldn't stand to tell him it wasn't true. Like, She's not stupid. Right? Yeah. like Like there's a read, there's a read of this movie. There's a version of this script that isn't as good where that is actually what's happening. But like, yeah and I feel like maybe people who haven't seen this movie might have that perception based on the synopsis, but that is not never what is actually happening in this movie. And it is always framed clearly that
01:00:20
Speaker
these are things that they perceive about themselves that aren't true. Like she's not, we're not supposed to think that she's actually ugly. We're not supposed to think that she's actually stupid. yeah We're supposed to think that they think that about themselves, which is like,
01:00:35
Speaker
And it, like, comes out. Every woman feels that Yeah, exactly. and it comes out with the Janine Garofalo um with the scene at the studio when he's taking their pictures and he's, like, taking her picture and she he's, like, so struck by how beautiful she is in these pictures. um And she's never had that before. And it's just like, ugh.
01:00:59
Speaker
Yeah. And this is where they come up with, she does, we're both going to go over to a studio and we're going ask, would you rather be with Time's Woman of the Year or um Playboy's Playmate of the Year? And Jeannie Garofalo goes, I object to that on behalf of both of us. And I'm like, a woman wrote this movie. Yep.
01:01:16
Speaker
Yep, yep, yep. She goes, or we can just go over there and get shit-faced and see what happens. they're like, all right, let's do it. Let's do that. So they both show up at his apartment with two bottles of tequila. And two limes.
01:01:29
Speaker
What does he think is going to happen? Well, mean, bottles of tequila, you need at least two limes. I would say four limes for bottles of tequila. mean, I would also bring, don't know, something to chase the tequila with. What are you doing? You don't do tequila shots? You know the tequila shot, girly?
01:01:41
Speaker
I mean, not as my main method of, like, hanging out. If I'm hanging out, I'm not doing shots. No, no, I mean, yeah, you're so right. um ah Maybe when I was 26. Right? I like a long, like, leisure leisurely drink.
01:01:56
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, i love a margarita. Margarita, my favorite cocktail, for sure. Love a margarita. Love a mezcal margarita. Ooh, smoky. Yeah, smoky. um But what does he think is happening when they both show up at his apartment with two bottles of tequila? Exactly, exactly. Three of them. It's definitely giving those vibes, yes. Yeah. And, like, it's kind of slowly, inadvertently turns into this, like, competition where... He's taking Janine Garofalo's picture and like you said, like she's feeling like, like but kind of like the opposite, the inverse of the Uma Thurman scene with him where like he makes her feel attractive in the way that he made Uma Thurman feel smart. Yeah. um It's very sweet. And of course, you know, Janine Garofalo is beautiful. um So it's not, it's little silly. It's hard believe.
01:02:45
Speaker
But then like he starts taking pictures of Noelle as well. And Janine Garofalo immediately gets butthurt. And yeah, and like it's hard to do. It's one of those things where like, it's, they are not trying to hurt each other. They are not, it does not become like some cliche, like women fighting over a man, yeah but it is that more realistic thing where it's like, sometimes you both have a crush on somebody.
Climax and Emotional Bonds
01:03:09
Speaker
And sometimes you're there's the three of you are in a room with each other and things just kind of start to happen. And that is definitely happened to me in real life. I'm sure it's happened to everyone. It's happened to everyone. There's an entire storyline about it that we are watching play out on Below Deck right now.
01:03:32
Speaker
And by we, you mean all of America, I'm sure. All America. Watching this old season of Below Deck Mediterranean. Is Below Deck on America's favorite streaming service, Peacock?
01:03:43
Speaker
How did you know? on American service. All of Below Deck. Below Deck, Below Deck Med, Below Deck Down Under. Below Deck Med? Oh, Mediterranean. Okay. I know. I too thought that Below Deck Med was like the medical boat. and Like Chicago Med? Right? I thought like when I first heard Med, i was like, what? Did you know that Joshua Jackson did a Doctors on Cruise Ship program?
01:04:09
Speaker
television show that includes a threesome called Dr. Odyssey. oh With who? Philip Pesu is in it. Oh, Philip Pesu. I did not know that. No. Yeah. Philip Pesu gave up Broadway to be on Dr. Odyssey.
01:04:23
Speaker
Hey, man, like, you get paid a lot of money for a TV show. It's stable work, especially, like, if you've got, like, a kid or something. Like, totally understandable. On network, you get paid a lot of money. You get paid a lot of money. But, yeah, I was, i don't remember. This is when it was back on. I was, like, I was scrolling through something, and it was, like, the threesome episode of Doctor Odyssey. I was, like, excuse me?
01:04:42
Speaker
Yeah. And then she doesn't know the father of their baby is. When I was in fair... Their baby! And then it got canceled, I know. But I never watched it. I only heard it. She gets pregnant, and she doesn't know who the dad is. Oh, shit. Because she gets in the threesome.
01:04:56
Speaker
I just saw Joshua Jackson in threesome and had to stop scrolling immediately. Oh, man. We should do a side podcast where we just talk about Doctor Odyssey. Or maybe it's just called Odyssey. I don't know. i think It's called Doctor Odyssey, I think.
01:05:14
Speaker
Just stupid. We love Joshua Jackson. He's going to land on his feet. but He's going to do something good again, I swear. love Joshua Jackson. love him so much. ah Yeah, I've loved him since I was like 11 years old. I've loved him since Fringe.
01:05:28
Speaker
Oh, I've loved him since Dawson's Creek.
01:05:32
Speaker
was at Dawson's Creek Yeah, yeah. It's, um yeah, my friend Jessica and I used to watch a lot of Dawson's Creek. and And famously, like, one summer, my dad, my dad was a car dealer. And so, like, we would go on vacation and rent, and he would, like, just, like, check out cars from the dealership, like a library, so he could, like, pick whatever car he wanted. And so frequently on, like, you know, vacations, we would get, like, a van and stuff. And so one year we had the van that had the DVD player in the back, which, like.
01:06:01
Speaker
Nice. And so we drove. We were like upstate New York from Tennessee and like i watched Dawson's Creek on DVD like the whole time. have that very specific like ah memory of that. Yeah. Yes.
01:06:17
Speaker
Yes. um anyway so um abby leaves and doesn't have the confidence um to to stay there and um she tells um atherman to stay yeah and she watches her go upstairs with him and then that's that's how they end that and and then now we're in the third act separation phase of a rom-com yeah yeah And so Noelle goes out of town for a job, but she's constantly calling Abby being like, I'm so sorry. Please talk to me. I want to talk to you in person. I can't do this over the phone. Please, please pick up the phone.
01:06:52
Speaker
It is just like every rom-com where the guy is trying to get a hold of her, except this time it's about their friendship. yeah About their friendship. And she finally like gives in and she's like, ah fine, I'll tell you over the phone. I didn't sleep with him.
01:07:05
Speaker
i want We started to, we started wrestling around and kissing, but he kept calling out your name. And he kept calling out your name and I just couldn't. And so I told him that it was going too fast and I couldn't.
01:07:17
Speaker
And yeah. And so then um he comes over. She's like, he loves you is what she says. Yeah. He loves you and I'm not you. And so she, Janine Garofalo is making herself a depression bath to which I got really depressed because I miss having a great bathtub so much. Oh, you don't have a bathtub? Yeah. I have a bathtub, but, like, the bathroom in the house we're renting it is so gross. No matter how much I clean so gross. And so, like, i just don't feel clean. And it's, like, a shallow bathtub, so, like, I can't get warm, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So it's just, like, not an enjoyable experience. And it takes a lot of effort to like, fill up that bathtub. And then, you know, set up my little bathtub setup where I've got my little bathtub show. and I've got my candles and I've got my little, my, my fizzies. I have a whole, I love that. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. The little, like from the lush, like bombs and stuff. Exactly. Exactly.
01:08:14
Speaker
um and so like, I, every time I see like a really nice clean bathtub, it makes me want to cry. Um, Yeah, I had in ah New York, I had like a beautiful clawfoot bathtub um that was like so deep too. And like long, it was like, you know, it's like pre-war probably. So it's like big enough for me to like actually have a bath in.
01:08:37
Speaker
It's big enough for you and your entire depression family. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. it could have been it It could have been a two-person bathtub. I mean, I was alone at that point in in New York, but either way. um Here, like, we've got this kind of a similar situation. Like, the bathroom the bathroom doesn't really feel clean no matter how much um you clean it.
01:08:56
Speaker
i um I have had baths in that bathtub, but it is is so it's so shallow and so and so short also. Like, I have to, like, I'm not...
01:09:07
Speaker
like it's just not an enjoyable like my legs have to be bent and stuff you know it's not yeah yeah yeah yeah ah normalize putting in big bathtubs into apartments and homes again now now they're not gonna i know um so if show up in her apartment because she's making herself a depression bath No, no, no. She runs into him at the department store and they have a long walk along, like along the beach at sunset. And he gives, this is, this is Janine Garofalo runs into Brian at the department store where she's returning the makeup she bought.
01:09:42
Speaker
Yes. And um he like has this long conversation with her and they're like, you know, he gives her his coat and like,
01:09:53
Speaker
buttons it around her which is a very slutty thing to do and like oh yeah blows on her hands like such a slutty thing to do he does a lot of slutty stuff that you're like my dude yeah yeah um and uh he when he says goodbye to her he says tell her i miss her face which is like obviously the worst thing he could have said exactly and then uma thurman takes control and she's like hey And she meets up with Brian and she's like, listen, he's like, oh my God. i let He's like, no, no, stop, stop, stop.
01:10:27
Speaker
He's like, I love you. she's like She's like, make a list of the 10 things you love about me and meet me at my apartment at 5 p.m. And don't talk to me until then. And he's like, okay.
01:10:39
Speaker
And then she's taking a bath, yeah. Yeah, and then she's taking a bath, and he shows up, and he's just like, um I came in with the list, and she's like still pretending like um it's Uma Thurman, that she's not Abby, that she's Donna, and Uma Thurman's the one in the bathroom, and she's like, she's taking a bath. And so he's like giving this like big, heartfelt, like... um speech about all the things that he loves about her and she it ends and she's just like and also say how ah she how beautiful do you think she is how much you love her because you think she's beautiful and he's like no that's not one of the reasons because again the first thing he says is her eyes which is like that's that's a normal thing for someone to say
01:11:23
Speaker
And um he said, but then most of the things that he says, and I think that like the fact that it's not all, I think is is just like, that's that's a little bit more realistic. That's a little bit, you know, better writing. yeah yeah But most of the things on the list are like the things that they had on their phone conversation and the things that he loves about her as a person, which is very sweet. um And yeah, he says, she says like ah but and about how beautiful she is. And he goes, no, it doesn't matter about that. It doesn't like the thing like where,
01:11:53
Speaker
you know, if someone is beautiful, but you you you get to know them and like they can seem ugly to you because of how much you dislike them or, you know, the way that you might not have even notice somebody, but because you fall in love with them're the most beautiful person in the world. Exactly.
01:12:09
Speaker
and she's like, okay, whatever. And then he is going to leave and sees a bunch of flyers that have her picture on them that is like Dr. Abby, whatever her last name is. And freaks out.
01:12:23
Speaker
And he's like, this is your apartment. That's your violin. And then Noelle shows up and he's like, what are you guys? Are the two of you like fucking with me? Are you like, is this something that you do for fun? Yeah. and they're like, no, no, it's like, we can explain. And he's like, oh, I get it. So you're dumb and beautiful and you're smart and, and then doesn't say the word. And doesn't say anything.
01:12:44
Speaker
And, and he storms out and, um, Then they have Uma Thurman and Janine Garofalo have this like beautiful romantic beach conversation. Which is again why it should have been a female rom-com.
01:13:03
Speaker
Yeah. um Where she's like, you know, like she's like, I know that you care about him. And he's like, she's like, no, no. we He has this small personal habit that I can't stand. And she's like, what's that? She's like, he's in love with you.
01:13:18
Speaker
Just like, just classic rom-com writing. um ah Oh, she had that audition. She didn't get it. She goes, I'm not dignified enough for the news. um And she's like, well, I can help you get a job at the station. It's not the news, but it's something. And she's like, I love you. And she's like, I love you. And then they make out and the end of the movie. I mean, that would be her pretending. No, it's not. She tells him, she says, go get him, you dumb bitch. Which is like, yeah.
01:13:43
Speaker
That's almost what we call this podcast. Exactly. go get him, you dumb bitch. ah a And um so then Jamie Foxx has another scene where he's talking about how beautiful Uma Thurman was. And this Hank, the dog, keeps bringing um Brian Gene Garofalo's shoe over and over And like, he can't get her out of his head. So he sends Hank to the radio station. For the radio station. bizarre airport scenes of all time it's so cute with a paper bag filled or filled with roller skates it's with roller skates in it and and he shows up and so she like she ends her show early and she goes and she opens it and this there's a little note in there saying put these on and don't ask questions
01:14:37
Speaker
Yeah. So she puts on the roller skates and Hank the dog drags her out onto like the boardwalk basically. Yeah. Terrifying. On the roller skates.
01:14:48
Speaker
Absolutely terrifying. Runs into him and he, you know, he tells her, he says, I've only ever loved one woman. I don't want to lose her twice. Yeah. they make out and she says, I have to tell you that night on the phone, I'm pregnant. And that's the end of the and he's like are you sure it's mine and she says yeah I had a lot well I don't know I had a lot of calls that night yeah it's very funny yeah and that's the truth about cats and dogs and it's so cute surprisingly held up and was enjoyable after not seeing it for 30 years yeah yeah 100% it is yeah it's cute yeah it's a cute little film
01:15:34
Speaker
a little film.
Podcast Conclusion and Next Episode Tease
01:15:36
Speaker
We're going to go in a different direction. ah Sure. yeah As we always do on this podcast next week. um Because I've just had a craving to watch this movie. Another movie that I haven't watched since it really came out, but um I want to revisit because i think that my hubris got into the way of me enjoying it and I feel like I'd really enjoy it now. um We are going to... Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:02
Speaker
Like, I thought I was too cool. and i thought No, no, I get it. I just i was just fascinat i just really fascinated about what it could possibly be. I thought you were like, Hubris, Emma, do you know what that word means? Yes, I learned it monologue. Oh my god, no, I would never. No, I just meant like, what what what on earth could she be talking about?
01:16:21
Speaker
We're going to watch the Heath Ledger fabulous film, A Knight's Tale. Oh, hell yeah. Okay. A Knight's Tale. Sorry. le A Knight's Tale. yeah A Knight's Tale.
01:16:38
Speaker
Beautiful. Love to hear it. yeah Classic movie. Classic. Shall we outro? Let's do it. Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Girl. If you like us, tell your friends and please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It helps out a lot and we would really appreciate it.
01:16:55
Speaker
Thanks to Andrew Milliken and Nick Svoboda for our theme music and Alana Henderson for our artwork. You can follow us on Instagram at GoGetYourGirlPod or email us at GoGetYourGirlPod at gmail.
01:17:06
Speaker
You can follow me and only me on social media at Emily M. Pizza. Until next time, we're just two girls. Standing in front of the internet. Asking it to love us.
01:17:19
Speaker
Good night.