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WTF NEWS
20 Plays17 days ago
On this episode of what the WTF News Stupid People as far as The eye can see and of course the penis report
Find everything at Bio.link/nonsensicalnetwork
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Transcript
00:02:59
Speaker
do Doesn't that always sound like a Wayne's World? thing I'm sorry.
Introduction and 'What the Fuck News'
00:03:04
Speaker
ah Welcome everybody to what the fuck news where we talk about all the news that is news to make say what the fuck. It is what the fuck Wednesday. How are you doing, sir? Fuck the what? okay I need to. Fuck the what you are. Fuck the what you are. Are you? ah How is your how is your week being so far, sir? It's a week. Yeah, I agree.
Weekly Updates and Network Information
00:03:29
Speaker
I'm I'm on the same train as you are.
00:03:32
Speaker
And I'm ready to kick this pig and rock and roll. As always, I have jumped the angel of death. And of course I have Glick the chimp with me. And we're going to talk about some news and oh, don't even get me started. Jesus Christ. Not in the mood, sir. Not in the fucking mood. Oh, it's glorious.
00:03:57
Speaker
yeah I'm real champions. Real champions have their trophies to display. Real men don't need trophies. We know when we're that good. That's what a loser would say. A winner doesn't have to say dumb shit like that. You say so. You're like that kid on the park that was like, oh, is he going to play it for real? I'm feeling good.
00:04:23
Speaker
Don't forget, everybody, bio.link slash nonsensical network. Find all the things that we do and we do them. Seven days a week, pretty much. A total of nine shows, seven days a week, catch them all. We're kind of like Pokemon. You got to catch them all. I'm just saying.
00:04:45
Speaker
It's going to be our new, my new little slogan. And don't forget everybody. Beauty and the beard creative corn on Facebook and Instagram. Get yourself some merch with my face on it. So Nikki has to see my face more often. Just saying.
00:05:04
Speaker
There it is. Look at that fancy. How you doing? Let's glitch out some music, baby. I like that. I like that hoodie. I'm debating putting, so I want to get a couple of shirts. I want to get a nonsensical, nonsense shirt made. I think I'm debating about putting the new logo that I, the nonsensical network logo I made just because on it. I get that. Just, just because it's like not really a logo, it's just kind of a picture, but stir a bakin a nogo
Humor and Criticism Handling
00:05:38
Speaker
Because I, you it's just why not, man. Fuck the haters. Fuck the clowns. I got my, I got my hater shades on. Yeet. They're not mine, they're Cassius. But I don't know where mine are. So Cassius will do. Yeet. You know, here's the crazy thing. Like those would be like four sizes too big on me.
00:06:02
Speaker
would like because unfortunately I'd like to say that four sizes too big on cash is big watermelon head, but they're not. Well, he's a click, let's be honest. No, I'm drinking Pepsi, man. I'm drinking Pepsi today. I agree. it's It's a little too early in the week, although I could probably use it.
00:06:23
Speaker
yeah be community important You have to buy them much, you can just buy other stuff. She's actually her son hit her up today. Um, cause he started a business a few months back with some buddies of his. right She's going to do all their work shirts. Um, and then I don't know my broster wants some shirts that she's got to finish up. Um, and then I think Wally wanted some shirts. I don't know that Wally talked to her whenever he comes over they get off his ass and gives you a new computer because he owes you and one. he gave us Yeah. Uh, Pepsi.
00:06:58
Speaker
yeah Chugging that, I hate it, right? That's what them haters would be doing. Bet. But they always hate each other. I don't hate. I discriminate everybody. So there's that. I'm an opportunity discriminator. Yeah. So yeah, like you said, you don't even have to get nonsense stuff. You can get whatever you want. Beauty and the beard, creative corner. Hit me here. Put it to work, man. I'm trying to be a stay-at-home husband, y'all.
00:07:26
Speaker
You know what? That's the fucking dream, baby. I'm trying to be a goddamn trophy husband. Why do you think I'm back in the gym so I can look good? Can't be no trophy husband right now. that You know what? gentlemen i did the I did the trophy boyfriend thing when I had my sugar mama back in the day. It's not as easy as it sounds. How disappointing was she? Oh, I know, right? he needs a Special needs trophy. Yeah, but Here there's the one thing you gotta remember and you and you can relate to this if something needs fixed between me and you I could fix it where there are guys out there that which one of my friends actually today they can't use a screwdriver and so I'm kind of close when it comes to
00:08:17
Speaker
Oh yeah, I got this fixed. I'm just saying. Yeah, but I can fix things. I'm funny. I got a great personality. I'm tall and I'm good looking. So I mean, I'm like, yeah, but I'm cute. I'm cute. No, you're cute. Like somebody with Down syndrome.
00:08:33
Speaker
Speaking of which, I need to send you some videos. Have you seen, there's a, not to get majorly off talk topic, but there's a channel on TikTok. There's a channel on TikTok that is, it sings the comments and finds these weird videos. And then it sings the comments. Have you seen the one with the Down syndrome girl? it's It sings if she's down.
00:09:01
Speaker
Oh yeah. I did i was like, damn dude, that's so fucked up. I lost it. I sat here and watched like four of them in a row and to the point where I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard. So I had to... Mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise. God, I'd hope Hulk Hogan
Event Announcements and Network Schedule
00:09:15
Speaker
don't make it come back. I didn't like Hulk Hogan back in the day, but this isn't a wrestling show. Tune in Saturday for the wrestling show, Saturday at noon. That reminds me while we're at it, where the hell'd they go?
00:09:26
Speaker
you remove Oh, please. I got to hit you up because I might have to we might have to do some work Tuesday together Tuesday night, buddy. Did you remove them? me You prick. Somebody kind of chose it. This is a new show. Did I remove one? I haven't removed anything on this movie. Yeah, because there's no the shows that we used to have scrolling at the bottom. They're gone. Oh, yeah, I did remove that. Oh, you're such a prick.
00:09:47
Speaker
I need I need a room, man. My my where to follow. my little There's literally a fuck you all. And I smell toast. Words are hard. You could have remove those. But no, yeah let's go ahead and remove the important one. And that' those are funny. And we already have a bio like and we don't need every show listed. And I need it for my guests. I just so i use it as a guide. So I do don't know. Oh, I do. Well, there are people. There are people.
00:10:17
Speaker
that do not. That's right. Exactly. So Monday's speedways stories a global and global conversations, uh, at, or I believe he's on that six. Uh, and then right after that at seven, eight, eight is an eight is men caring for men. Tuesdays is Glick's house of music. Uh, and once again at seven that way, click is it still that you switched it? I would need to move this one to eight because It's always been. Is it really? It's always been eight. I love you, buddy. I mean, I don't need to see you multiple times a week. I mean, I mean, you're missing some great shows, man. Hey, you know what? You know what? I was actually I have in my playlist. I want to watch the Kissing Lilith or Kissing Lilith. Is that it?
00:11:14
Speaker
Well, sir, you are in luck because if you guys go to our YouTube channel and slide over to the playlist, all the shows are in the playlist. i saw i spent in I spent an hour and a half last night, 230 of the 7 million nonsensical nonsense into their playlist. Yeah. You know, that's the one thing, you know, it's one of those things of it's the whole shoulda coulda woulda. We should have started doing that since day one, but we didn't think we would have nine shows.
00:11:41
Speaker
So, but yeah, yeah they don't forget, on Wednesdays, after Clicks House Music on Tuesdays, is this show. What the fuck news? Where we tell you all the news that they say, what the fuck?
Dumpster Diving Ethics
00:11:52
Speaker
Thursdays is kind of a little dark hole in our schedule for the simple fact I got enough shit going on. I need to get on track and get everything set up so I can get back to Jeff's Garage.
00:12:04
Speaker
Fridays nonsense and chill with Blaze and I hosted by Blaze where we talk movies and there's a couple really good things coming up that he and I were discussing and then of course at the end of each month we're gonna be doing the trivia that will go throughout the year Saturdays of course nonsense or sorry Cassius corner at noon every other Saturday still where Glick and his son talk rasping bra one diy diy
00:12:36
Speaker
w w niy actually abuses because there's only like 40 of them that used to be that now are one. um yeah But I don't pay attention to sports. so you know well i um And then of course, later that night at seven is nonsensical nonsense, the open door challenge where you can come up and Talk some shit or join the conversation. And then, of course, Sundays right around noon is nonsense or unnecessary roughness with the boys talk. One o'clock. Is it one? yeah would you like See why you need to leave it there. Oh, okay. So I'm correct, but you changed the day. That's right, because you want to give Rick time to sober up.
00:13:15
Speaker
Well, yeah, well, yeah, and we gotta we gotta make sure our our lawyers present Derek Wayne Douglas and you know, he's got search in the morning on Sunday So I gotta make sure he's present and and and there and that we're held accountable for our actions However, not this Sunday because this Sunday is all about the Super Bowl But next Sunday we're having our first guest on the show. He is a motivational speaker and men's fitness guy that focuses all on men. So we're going to bring him a man down by the river. Oh, Since Rick, since Rick and I are, uh, we decided to do like a biggest loser competition and see who can lose the LBs quicker or whatever.
00:13:59
Speaker
I came across his Instagram and I was checking them out and I liked what he was doing. So I shot him a message and he got right back to me and he said, he'd be down to be a part of the show. So we're actually going to have our first guest in two weeks. on the ah Can I give you a hint on how to win? Stop eating fucking potatoes. I know you love them and they're your kryptonite food, but they're not helping you. I have a secret. I have a secret weapon. My body.
00:14:28
Speaker
all i is your leg off like connor yeah yeah all i have nows are dare baby All I have to do is be active and go to the gym and I'll drop the weight. I'm the same way. And I don't have to change my eating habits a lot. So I'm just going to be just just going to be another. Chocking on up for the good guys. Another win in my category. Another one. I'm going to I'm going to chase Rick with a fucking cattle prod. Run motherfucker. Just the same.
00:14:58
Speaker
Uh, mustard ketchup mayonnaise. Your sources are wrong. Neither one of those things happen when you, um, God damn it, John. 72 and 7. Nice. Nice, Chris. Yeah. You know what? Here's the thing with this one. We have enough kids. We don't care. Yeah. Well, there's that too. I mean, let's be honest. You know, I got, I got three kids. I don't need it anymore.
00:15:28
Speaker
Kill it all, you know? If I wasn't so scared of needles, I'd go get tied off. I say I'm scared of needles, but I'm looking at getting another tattoo. But we're gonna start this off. ah Who went first last time? Was it you or me? I don't fucking remember. Probably you, but you never shut the fuck up. Oh, wow. You're so fucking sweet. You're such a fucking sweetheart.
00:15:58
Speaker
Well, I want to start off, you're you're talking about diets and I got a diet for you, sir. There is, why why is this? I hate this. Stop saying this app. Yeah. Okay. So there is a girl. This is from the New York Post. ah She's got all her food for the past four years from a dumpster.
00:16:24
Speaker
Nice. And like, I mean, Better easily be done. Is she getting it from like you behind grocery stores and stuff? Yeah, actually there's a video that I'm gonna play here I'm just gonna share my screen because I've already muted it but you can see she's going into dumpster there and She's just finding like There's fucking cookies Snow fur Uh, she's, she was showing salsas earlier and you know, she actually, yeah, there's some fruit and veg, some, you know, she literally, as they throw it out, like she waits and she sits and waits and she gets everything out of her dumpster and takes it home and she's got, you know, everything. I mean, I don't know how I would feel about like cold stuff or, you know, maybe not necessarily produce, but you have to remember a lot of things.
00:17:20
Speaker
A lot of those like cookies and and and things like that. They'll last on this earth longer than we will. Well, the stores and stuff, they have to refresh their... I remember working at Kroger's. What was it called? It was called a refresh cycle. or so I don't know.
00:17:39
Speaker
but once something reaches expiration date they didn't necessarily mean it was bad but they had to throw it out or get rid of it or whatever a lot of times like cookies and snacks and little kibbles and bits we just put in the break room you know what i mean exactly but well know my uncle he worked for pepsi for years and they had the same issue when the you know on a pepsi can it was having expiration date he would bring home cases of one case to spill his truck with cases of Pepsi and you know Pepsi products and it's still good. This is still in the fucking can. I mean, yeah, like I said, I don't know about produce and such like that because it's still in a dumpster. I don't know. Even if I, after I wash it and whatever, I'd still want to eat it. But i mean and I mean, I guess if you got out there fast enough and I seen she had like ice cream and shit on her counter, I guess.
00:18:32
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know about the ice cream either. I wouldn't want to risk it. But it's one of those things like if you, I would assume, since she's been doing this for four years, she knows what time they throw stuff out. She's like, okay, at eight o'clock on fucking Wednesdays, after I watch what the fuck news, I'm going to go to the fucking dumpster. I'm going to get my ice cream and I'm going to get my produce because that's when they throw it out. You know what I mean? See how I did my shameless plug there? Just saying.
00:19:01
Speaker
I don't know. I would do it. It's one of those things. It's like, e I mean, cause, but you know, like she, like I said, she's showing here, you know, she's got like hot dogs and, and there's some bread there. Oranges would be a problem. Yeah. Like bread, you like stuff that's packaged. I'm just, I would be hesitant on cold stuff if it was out in the dumpster for too long. Right. I'm, uh,
00:19:31
Speaker
But I'm definitely not, I'm definitely not grabbing like produce that's not wrapped. Right. it Exactly. But I mean, again, I mean, if it works, it works. She's technically not doing anything wrong. And I mean, nobody's getting sick and dying. I mean, it's gross. I mean, it's gross to think about, but at the same time, if you think about it, it's kind of genius. She seems happy and healthy, but look at her.
00:20:00
Speaker
She's got asparagus there. she She looks a little derpy, but. Yeah, she doesn't look like it. They've eaten one too many things. I mean, we've all seen the price of groceries in the US the last four years. I mean, I don't know. When it comes to produce, that you know they they have that liquid. You put a couple drops of water when you clean it.
00:20:30
Speaker
And it cleans it really well. It like kills bacteria and stuff like that. So um like I said, I'm not mad at it. Nothing's wrong with the food other than the fact that it was in a dumpster. It's just grocery stores and shit like that. They have to get rid of stuff by a certain date. So she just happens to be out there on said date when they're throwing stuff out and scooping it up. I mean, you know, it's like a bunch of cereal.
00:20:54
Speaker
A box of cereal will have an expiration date on it, but that don't mean nothing. That's just a fucking number. It's like just the daycare looking for dates. Age ain't nothing but a number, baby. That's right. Hop in the van. I got free candy and everything. Tune in Sunday, and you can talk to to us about that. What's going on, Tina? Tune in Sunday. Yeah, that's my first story. I thought that was interesting. And you know the fact that you brought up the whole diet thing, you know it looks like she's eating healthy.
00:21:23
Speaker
You know, she's not just eating cookies and bags. I mean, shout shut out to her for that because there's because there's millions of people on welfare in the U.S. who don't work because they're lazy sacks of shit that they just eat straight dog shit. I hope they get tax money that that that they live off of. And they they just eat straight ass dog shit. So I think that.
00:21:43
Speaker
I think they should regulate welfare what they can and can't buy, but that's me and that's how I agree. But make I mean, paint by like scratch offs and cigarettes with welfare checks. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, because it went to the EBT cards and I don't know how the rash of answers were. i't do I even know.
00:22:06
Speaker
Yeah, I
Egg Prices and Grammy Criticisms
00:22:07
Speaker
don't know. I don't know what the deal is with the whole egg situation. I know people, well I mean, I know a little bit about a little bit. I know people are bitching that they're still super expensive. Everything else is going down though. I mean, ah so there's that. But eggs are also not going down in price because some dipshit in the last administration caused us another scaredemic and said there was bird flu and then they ordered millions and millions of chickens to be killed while supply and demand ladies and gentlemen if we kill off a bunch of chickens at chicken farms that where the eggs come from and they don't have the eggs to build the stores guess what they're gonna charge more yep and then we're gonna run out so it'll be fine chickens reproduce like rabbits by the way anybody i can get i can get a dozen eggs for like two bucks i'm just saying
00:22:54
Speaker
Yeah, you know what? Actually, in all honesty, if you're bitching about not being able to find eggs or the price of eggs, go out to the country and support your local farmer because they have boots and stands set up at the end of their driveway and they work on the goods and the options. Yeah, watch one or Kenny, they'll show you.
00:23:08
Speaker
Yeah, they work on the Good Samaritan rule and they got a little box out there and they say $2 for a dozen eggs. You leave your $2 or your $4 for how many eggs you get and you get your eggs and you're supporting a local farmer. So good on you. That makes you a good person. That's your good deed for the day. That's your good deed for the day. Go support local farmers. Go to the farmer and buy a couple of chickens. Or do that. You know, a lot of places, a lot of towns allow you to have chickens run around in your backyard. Yeah. And you can have your own eggs.
00:23:39
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You can open your gate like the Goonies too, I'm just saying. Yeah. We're off the rip. I got a real problem, first and foremost. The Grammys were the other night. Just one? Oh. Well, I got a lot of problems. The Grammys were the other night. And I just want to say this much about the Smith family fucking weirdos.
00:23:59
Speaker
ah jabo or J1E's or him, her, they, it, whatever the fuck he is now or she is now. Or in a blacked out Barbie house on his head? Showed up with a goddamn castle on his head. He looked ridiculous. The Smiths needs to stop him. But that's not even what I'm at about. Do your thing, kid. You're a fucking weirdo. We know you're a weirdo. You've been a fucking weirdo for the last several years. Your old fucking family's rich. What I'm pissed off about with the Grammys. The Grammys are a fucking joke.
00:24:33
Speaker
Motherfucking Beyonce, agree who couldn't write a song if her life depended on it, can't sing if her life depended on it, somehow, someway, I mean, I know how it happened, one country album of the year. Yeah. it things on the graph i didn't watch mean If that is not the biggest, what the fuck, WTF, in the news right now, I don't know what is. i guess those this It makes no sense. sense.
00:25:03
Speaker
I've only heard snippets of a few songs on there. There's nothing country about them. Just because she's bleaching her skin to look white, she's got bleach blonde hair. and Now she wears stupid bedazzled cowboy hat. She looks like a rejected cowgirl Barbie. Y'all got more important things to worry about than giving that woman a goddamn Grammy or Jay-Z buying one for her, which is what I think happened. Jay-Z, you're on the Diddy list.
00:25:26
Speaker
And you've already been brought up. You got things to worry about, not your whole ugly ass can't sing life winning fucking awards. And she's still not better than Taylor Swift. Taylor still has more Grammy and that's more money on tour and still makes better music because you want to watch because Taylor Swift is actually an artist and she writes music. She don't need a group of 50 people to write her songs for our computer to sing her songs for. now you to hed you on According to a bunch of tiktok or girls, she owns a football team.
00:25:52
Speaker
And Jay-Z and the Tough 100 list of rappers, you barely make 99. You got 99 problems. And they all start with D.A.T. No, but I actually heard something interesting about this whole trash ass rapping. Grammy thing is is that it's 100% biased. The producers get together and say, hey, you over for my guy, I'll vote for your guy, and we'll get your score up over here. and So it's like, well, why else would I work out my car? I'm just saying.
00:26:23
Speaker
It's mind boggling. sounds realize i'm not but i and I'm having I fucking love music and this is a goddamn joke. This is the music world and a guy who loves actual music and musicians and artists. There were other artists that were deserving and to have an award bought and then to go up there like you're fucking hot shit, you're garbage human being your husband's a garbage human being. And I hope you both end up in jail.
00:26:51
Speaker
And your music is fucking wack as hell. And your guitar can suck my dick and eat my asshole if you guys want to get your fucking panties in a bunch. Somebody said that if you take one of either Luke Combs or um Jelly Roll songs, either one of those songs pick the song.
00:27:13
Speaker
and look it up, it probably has more plays than her entire album, country album combined. Easily. You goddamn right, Chris Technician. In this situation, you're fucking right, I'm a Swiftie. Yeah. I'm not either. I can't stand either one of them. I don't mind Taylor Swift as a musician because she's talented. Oh, as a musician? Yeah, I agree. She is a talented girl. some of some Some of her music is the the weird Taylor Swift cult that she has. That's weird. Some of her music is catchy. A little head bobbing going on. I love that teardrops on my entire song. She's one of her first songs. I love that song. ah But yeah in this case, I'm a fucking Swifty. I agree. I'm a ride or die Swifty in this case. I'll support Jared Leto before I do fucking Beyonce.
00:28:01
Speaker
ah I don't even think, I don't even think Taylor Swift was up and running. I know, I think Chris Stapleton was up there, Laney Wilson, some other actual country artist, not fucking, standard goddamn Lane Beyonce saying that Lane is Department of Corrections. Get the fuck out. No, I don't think, I think she should be stripped of said Grammy. You can't, hey it's already bought and paid for. Danny Jay Z already bought and paid for that bitch.
00:28:29
Speaker
God, I wish somebody... i ran to buying your grammy one day i wish like I wish like an artist like Morgan Wallin or Post Malone would have interrupted her speech and been like, yeah, yeah I'm gonna let you finish, but real quick, Chris Stapleton should have got this reward. Like likeking Kanye's crazy ass... Where the fuck is Kanye at that time, right? Well, they're gonna throw it out because his wife showed up. Yeah. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
00:28:54
Speaker
The Grammys were a fucking terrain wreck this year, y'all. And I didn't even watch them. When are they not? When are they not? They were an absolute train wreck dumpster fire this year. The Grammys have no credibility anymore, in my opinion. None of those. I'm sorry. It is what it is. Why are they the same way? Yeah. You know what? I think we should start this game.
00:29:21
Speaker
But it was actually good because again, Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines, he still wrote his own song. That was a good fucking album. It was a weird album. It was a weird album, but it was, comparatively speaking, I buy one of those compared to one of Doc and Beyonce's. Yes, Kanye's woman, she was naked as the day she was born.
00:29:44
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, the Grammys and the Grammys. And i you know what, the the what the fuck are the this isn't even a real thing. I'm making it up as we go. But what the fuck are the week award goes to the Grammys this week? I agree. There you go, Jeff. You can make ah you can make a what the fuck of the week award. and Not right now. No, i'm not gonna do now no I was looking at the comments. No. Yeah, yeah I agree. What the fuck are the week? They don't have the the that industry, Holly weird and fucking the music. They have all these fucking awards, yeah but they don't see a word for like world's greatest fucking plumber, you know, or something shit like that. The real fucking heroes of the world, the the people like you and me that actually fucking get our asses up and go to work. in i know and I'm no, I'm no hero. I'm not here. I'm just a man. I'm just a man who's willing to stand up and do the things that are right
00:30:43
Speaker
tell beyonce I don't need any acolytes. yeah Go ahead, Nikki, throw something at it, please. so My best Randy Orton over here. um here emotions in my they talk to me they help me yeah you know the whole The whole music industry the The only thing that matters when it comes to the music industry is the people's choice of work. Let's be honest, because the people actually vote. I think a lot of the awards are cool. I mean, it's just instances. and And this is about as much passion you're going to get out of me tonight. Because as you guys know, I love music. Some of you guys may know that I host a show here on the network where I interview musicians.
00:31:36
Speaker
So I'm very passionate. It's called Blix House and Music. You should check it out. It's awesome. sealess same name yeah cheralaud name I said it in French.
00:31:51
Speaker
exactly hate saying french but okay whatever I don't remember how to say it in French because I removed that. Don't worry, you don't know how to spell it in English either. so I didn't fix it.
00:32:05
Speaker
Yo, yo, yo, what up? Why? Why? How about we just ignore the music awards and listen to what you like? Fuck them. Ay, right? I agree. I don't even, there's very, i Blaze, i I'll be 100% honest with you, bro. And I think you know this about me at this point. I don't, there's only very few mainstream artists that I listen to. The but the music I'm listening to are literally guests that I've had on my show or upcoming guests or people that I've yet to hear anything from.
00:32:34
Speaker
that I've reached out to. they They're definitely not mainstream. and i And I love it, man, because there's so much music out there that is way better than anything that's in the mainstream. There's so many artists out there that there's so much better than what you get on the radio right now. Well, like i that yeah one guy, I actually just started listening to more of Steven Rodriguez. Fuck it, that boy can sing. Yeah, exactly. OK.
00:33:05
Speaker
You know, that's, there's so many, so many talented, um, and you can look back at some, if you go to our YouTube channel, but not sensible network and go over the playlist, clicks house of music. And you can see like 40 some artists on there that are awesome. Speaking of music, we'll segue here.
Music Break and Bizarre News Stories
00:33:24
Speaker
We're going to do a little, uh, lift the curse for our first break with, I just died in your arms. Oh, I should have uploaded a new music for tonight. That's okay.
00:33:34
Speaker
I assume this is because I don't really pay attention to what you do, but we're going to be able to lift the curse of I just died in your arms and we'll be right back in about four minutes.
00:35:12
Speaker
stops for feeling like this on the surface summer name i
00:36:03
Speaker
It was a long hard night
00:36:22
Speaker
It's time
00:36:25
Speaker
not my head i know i
00:37:56
Speaker
I do like that version. Let's lift the curse with I just died in your arms. I really liked that version. that they do it kicking I like it. but I like it better than the original.
00:38:07
Speaker
do an excellent frankfully They do a, um, excellent cover of in the end by Lincoln park as well. Really? i know Well,
00:38:25
Speaker
the book
00:38:28
Speaker
So, like, you you know, you and I were talking about tools a while back and how you like to order things off of online, like when you went on to Wish and ordered like 4,000 things for like $4. Well, a a shopper was baffled after he went on to AliExpress and purchased himself a drill for $40. However, instead of getting said drill,
00:38:58
Speaker
What they sent him is not what he got. And I'm going to show the picture because, you know, I'd be burning somebody's house down. I get it. It's only $40, but, you know, when you order something and you expect to get what you pay for it, this is what he got. Bare with me two seconds because I wasn't fast enough. But he ordered a Ryobi drill, and this is what he got.
00:39:30
Speaker
that's nice a picture he got a ancient i don burnt somebody's fucking houses now ah that is all all like a He quotes saying I was very upset. I contacted them for a refund straight away. they not They have not gotten back to me. I'm retired and I was taken advantage of. I need I need to pay. They need to pay for what they've done. I'm very upset. I was very upset when I opened the box. This was literally like two weeks ago. They did send him a 10 millimeter socket though.
00:40:10
Speaker
Head's up in the game. i It's a $40 fucking socket. And let's be honest, and the first time you use it, it's going to crack. But as we all know,
00:40:24
Speaker
but there's There's a right way to do things, and there's a wrong way. And buying tools sight unseen. The 10 millimeter socket. The elusive 10 millimeter. Is priceless.
00:40:38
Speaker
ya Ladies, if you're ever wondering what to get your your boyfriends and husbands for Valentine's Day, which is coming up, just a box of 10 millimeter sockets, they'll love you forever, baby. I was just watching what the fuck moods.
00:40:56
Speaker
what up tackle episode I'm trying to love you brother. and Wait, so you're on Glick's only fan i' sure the Subscribe big fella. Appreciate you. Speaking of which I just got a new subscriber. You're welcome. Hit that like, smash that subscribe, ring my bell, and laugh at Jeff Smallpecker. Just saying.
00:41:25
Speaker
statistic
00:41:28
Speaker
i It's like you have a lot of room to talk. You constantly talk about how small your dick is. Yeah, but I have other attributes that make up for having a small dick like A being full grown. Full size. I can fit in an attic and a crawl space. Hell, well.
00:41:49
Speaker
Anyway, so you got a free vehicle. So did the guy get his fucking drill or not? No, he didn't. He didn't. he They said he just got a sign. He got it. Well, he he ordered a pressure washer for $100 and then a the $40. It's not even Ryobi. It's like Robust. Robust? R-O-B-U-S. True. 21 volt drill. And it's ah it's an impact.
00:42:15
Speaker
Well, you should have just went to fucking Home Depot and bought a but black and decker for this. right I mean, as opposed to that fucking Ollie special there, black and decker might have been better. All right. Well, priority is the new black and decker.
00:42:29
Speaker
But yeah, he never got it. It wasn't even a 10 millimeter socket. Watch your mouth about Ryobi, man. Ryobi is illegal. I got a Ryobi standard that I'll put up against but my old Milwaukee one I ever i had. i'll tell you what I'll tell you what, I've always been a DeWalt guy. but I gotta give a shout out and love to Ryobi. Man, it's inexpensive. It's solid. They work better. i Actually, I have. I have a Ryobi drill that I put up against my DeWalt drill. Every day. And and that Ryobi battery lasted longer.
00:43:08
Speaker
ah just as much, if not, maybe more power to it. And the accessories that came with it were better than the accessories that came with the D-wolps. And they were free. So let's show the picture. It's not even a 10 millimeter socket. It's a socket with a, it's a, no, the socket they sent it, A, looks used, and B, it's not even a socket. It's a, it's a socket with a screwdriver. It's not used.
00:43:37
Speaker
Oh, no. You look at this and you tell me if this is used or not. It's refurbished. I dare you to defy that that is used. Nah, man. That's brand new. It's beat up and everything. that's what That's the only thing he got for his $40. That and a picture. it's ah it's It's a refurbished socket. So it's not even an actual socket. Right. Yeah, he can't even use it because it's got this goddamn screwdriver on it. Exactly. So I'm just saying.
00:44:07
Speaker
I give up on the world. Let me off this fucking ride. At the end of the day, there's a reason why I go to Home Depot to buy my tools because I can touch it, test it, and it works. I'll take it home. And let's be honest, it's... Yeah, I'm not going to get it for $40, but I know what I have is in my hand and functionally. There are some things I just don't like to purchase online. I agree. Jeff? Clothes, one of them.
00:44:39
Speaker
Yeah, man. You know, although the the great thing about buying clothes off of Teemu or Tamau, however you want to pronounce it. Right. on it gives It gives me goals. It gives me an incentive to lose men. Because I have bought it. i Now, I will say this. I've been really lucky with clothes I've gotten. But I've got a couple of shirts that are a little suspect. And if I just drop 10, 20 LBs,
00:45:06
Speaker
I'll be right here. And the shirt will look great on me because it hugs all the right spots. But, you know, see, I'm very lucky in that in that aspect. If I buy a shirt, I know if I order a small, it'll fit me no matter what. Yeah, because right now I look like you in your stormtrooper shirt that you have on that looks like a lady's extra extra extra guy. He's got a tie on.
00:45:31
Speaker
Fuck you, one dog. And it says is it Friday yet at the bottom?
00:45:37
Speaker
It's a work shirt. Well, Jeff. What do you got? You think you can dodge a bullet? Like Keanu Reeves and the Matrix. Ooh. How much time do I have to prepare? I mean... Like if you just shoot at me? I'll give you a week to cheat. Or do I get like a week to practice? Yeah, I'll give you a week. All right, I'll take a week. No, I can't. I have no idea. Well, a man was arrested for testing friends' bullet dodging abilities.
00:46:06
Speaker
with fatal consequences. So basically his friend was like, Hey, I bet you I could dodge a bullet. And his friend was like, where is Donner? I'm just saying, this she ah you know, you know, we, we, we had that little, we call it no balls. The guys that we, that we seen it on it called a cap or no cap. We call it no balls. So they were sitting around playing a game of no balls.
00:46:26
Speaker
And his buddy was like, I can dodge a bullet. And the other guy was like, no, I don't think he can. He said, yeah, I'm pretty sure I could. And he's like, all right, bet. Let's try. No balls. So a Utah man was arrested and accused of manslaughter after allegedly shooting his friend in the chest because the latter claimed he could dodge bullets.
00:46:45
Speaker
23 year old Ashton Jonathan, man, dude, you got a lot going on in your name. First and foremost, calm down. Everybody was arrested on one count of second degree felony manslaughter and one third degree felony charge related to firearms for a bizarre incident involving guns, blazes are your people. I need you to get them guns and marijuana, the devil's lettuce.
00:47:10
Speaker
I guess if you get high enough, you think you can do anything. i'm just say Jeff touches this tool. He spends a lot of time on chlorine in the gene pool. know ah and In the early hours the early hours of Sunday. So this just happened Sunday.
00:47:29
Speaker
First responders were called to a home in Kerns, Utah, where they found an unresponsive young man with a gunshot wound to the chest lying on the floor. The victim was quickly taken to nearby hospital, but the doctors couldn't save his life. Man later told police that he had shot his friend after he bragged he could dodge a bullet. I'm sorry if this is us.
00:47:51
Speaker
We're still screaming at the dead body going, I told you you could do it, fucker. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, boys, it has nothing to do with stupidity or anything like that. or and and and and i so And I say this, as I always say, Darwinism at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. How fucking bulletproof vests doing the same thing, shooting at each other.
00:48:19
Speaker
Well, a few years ago, that was in Super Troopers, first and foremost. Well, they know, but they also did it it. They also did it on the rookie, but I also read about it in the news, which is why they got the for the rookie. A few years back, or a couple years back, there was a YouTuber who who thought uh you can dodge a joint if your life depended on it sir you suck on that like you know i got i got you i got you please next time you're up here we'll see if you can dodge joints and if i have to throw 30 at him until you can die i got you bro we'll throw joints at you all night until you dodge but yeah a couple years back there was a youtuber who weird cat to begin with but convinced his fiance and baby mama
00:49:05
Speaker
that a I can't remember what type of book it was like an encyclopedia or something can stop at 357. Nice. So he convinced her to shoot him in the chest and they filmed it for his YouTube channel. Guess what? didn't make That book did not stop that bullet and he was dead before he hit the ground.
00:49:25
Speaker
so all the stories you hear about these stories where a soldier gets shot and you know the bible in his pocket stops it and all that stuff that that's a long shot you know i mean i'm gonna say 357 has got some yeah but yeah she wound up getting charged with um with like uh it was it was an accidental thing because it was all it was all he they recorded the whole thing and she did not want to do it and it took a lot of him plying her and being like look it'll be fine i've done them i've done the math i've done this i've done that homeboy homeboy was dead before he hit the ground like that girl had a clean ass job because he was getting his refund on his math homework um to like i said he was he was dead before he hit the ground fucking
00:50:16
Speaker
<unk>
00:50:19
Speaker
yeah i you know I've done a lot of stupid shit, but I've never been like, hey, Glitch, I bet you I can use with the M in psychobedia to stop that. I wish you would. God, I wish you would though. I'd be like, bet. I wasn't ready. Oh, shit. I wasn't ready, fucker. right, pick it up. I'll do
00:50:52
Speaker
I'm going to launch your ass. You should probably put this book in front of your chest just to be safe. Just to be safe. Just surround me with books. Maybe I copy Ulysses. Yeah, you can touch this prick. Read the book now, asshole. You got blood in his eyes. Maybe I copy Don Quixote.
00:51:14
Speaker
oh I'm just saying so Darwin is at its finest ladies and gentlemen. i Stop putting warning labels on things. Let the stupid people be stupid. Whatever happens to them, happens to them. We all win at the end of the day. And and a as we say on the nonsensical network, if you're going to do something dumb, do it on camera.
00:51:36
Speaker
One less dumb pose that um dumb person in the world. We all lose on that must've been insane. I'm just saying, I'm sure that he couldn't play it. But the views on that would have been amazing. um We all win. We all win, ladies and gentlemen. I get it. Not everybody grew up around firearms like us.
00:52:01
Speaker
and you know they you watch enough movies. I don't think you have to grow up. I don't think you have to grow up around firearms to understand how how gun what what how a gun works. If I pull trigger, gun goes boom, bullet flies out, bullet hits me, I die. There are people in this world that can't decide what they are. Well, there's also people that eat tide pods. this is You know what, this doesn't happen very often, but yes.
00:52:28
Speaker
you might be you You might be slightly right in this situation. No, there there is no slightly. I'm sorry. i imagine so You know what? I give the human race way too much credit. to you You're right. You did. I mean, you crossed the line, Christopher. So that's a lot. Yeah, because the line is you've given a humanity way too much. Let's be honest. You and I can... and Even before you told me that he died, I was like, yeah, that dude's fucked. Yeah, he did. Because like even a BB gun, I'm like, I don't know if you should shoot me, dude. you Yeah, like i think if you told me i think i think I think if you told me you could dodge a bullet, I'd be like, all right, let's start out small. Let's start with a nerf gun. Right? Then maybe a BB gun.
00:53:19
Speaker
You know, if you graduate the Nerf gun, then you graduate a BB gun, then maybe we could go to one of those like hard shell guns, like the rubber bullet guns. Right. You know, and then. Why wouldn't you start with a rubber bullet? You know, even if you're using the 357 or the 9 mil, why wouldn't you start with a rubber bullet just in case? Maybe that's not, well. I don't care how cool you think you are. You're not really dodging a bullet if you don't, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge anything.
00:53:49
Speaker
apparently apparently not because that probably good die' already know good do it sounds like his reflexes being stoned was like ah got this um right no fucking shot me you za your dad I don't think you said much of anything. yeah but Once again, once again, why were you shooting center fucking math?
00:54:19
Speaker
you know about this once again i'm good i'm gonna like okay i'm gonna shoot for your your hand or your leg but i'm just saying no i got all the balls of the world no i don't start starting i started with the straw to want to be is the best
00:54:41
Speaker
Gah, look at that. See that? at me i I was always told. It's like those idiots that think they could curve bullets, too. but When I got my... what we wanted Yeah, I'm just saying, you know, when I when i got my first gun for for personal protection, I was told, do not ever draw this weapon unless you plan on killing somebody. yeah So, I mean, maybe that was the same rule that that kid had. You better want it dead.
00:55:06
Speaker
that he at least he followed his, you know, rules. Hey, the bang. He was a man of his word. But yeah, no, you couldn't have that at Arthur's because maybe like two hours before the medics got called because we'd been spending two hours talking shit to the person who just got shot yeah because they didn't dodge the bullet. No wonder why he died. We sat here and caught him in an idiot for two hours. Then we were like, hey, maybe we should call the ambulance.
00:55:35
Speaker
Just bury me in the backyard. Fucking dummy. Yeah, dummy. I found a lot of dumb shit. I don't want to do something. Gotta love it. Just let the stupid people be stupid. Don't try to help them. Don't try to fix them. Just let them be stupid. I mean, I'm sorry that a kid lost his life, but... Agreed. But let's hope he didn't reproduce before he... went as as as blazer there's chlorine in the uh gene pool like i've been drunk before i've been high before but i've never been so drunk or so high where i'm like yeah i could not his dad his dad given a eulogy he was a dumb kid and a good kid
00:56:28
Speaker
Good move very fast, apparently. Yeah, pretty slow. but but Yeah. Anyways, we'll be right back when we play a little James Luger with Silhouette. Yeah, I uploaded a few new songs. Yeah, I saw that. We'll be right back.
00:58:06
Speaker
turbulence makes it a journey they will tell when you're dead
00:59:28
Speaker
You will see my shadow You will see my silhouette
01:00:02
Speaker
Yeah, a little James Lucas silhouette. I like that song. That's his brand newest song man. Shout out to James. That's my boy. I like that little girl in the building. That's up on Spotify now. Yeah, it's up. It's up everywhere. It's up everywhere now. I'll go ahead and have it tonight. Um,
01:00:24
Speaker
Did he drop the sample of his next single? Oh, it goes fucking hard, son. Nice. Him and just Trey.
01:00:37
Speaker
So real quick, before we get back into the the crazy world of the news, don't forget everybody bio dot.link scroll at the bottom of your screen, bio.link slash nonsensical network. You can find everything we do, including, and I was able to add it.
01:00:57
Speaker
the link to beauty in the beard creative corner. much I added it to here so I could actually show it. Cause I actually, you don't see that right there in front of your face. Yeah. You added the, yeah. you have to Yeah. The problem is when I, when I, when I had the, you home school I had, I had the link, the Facebook link,
01:01:23
Speaker
but it doesn't say beauty and beard. It's just, yeah. And that link don't do no good when it's on the bottom of the screen. It's not applicable. So but it is, it is on our, it is on our, uh, it is on our bio.link. So the link is there. You can go click on it. I think it's linked to her Facebook page. So you can go click that and give her a follow. And like I said, you can get you some sweetest nonsensical sway or you can get your own shit. Whatever you want me to show what you're taking care of. And we should help them.
01:01:51
Speaker
merch bought, Nikki will wear a shirt with my face on it on the show. She won't, she won't buy $10,000 worth of merch bought or is putting me a hell of a lot closer to be a stay at home trophy husband. So help a brother out. we'll but over thatp We'll put my face on a hat and Glick will wear it for an entire week.
01:02:18
Speaker
Yup. Put it right on the front. Right there. I can just do that. You're still wearing it. I don't. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jeff, I already have it made. I'm wearing it. I'm wearing it right now. You know what the Dogecoin little dog looks like? Yeah, I mean. There's a guy that has Dogecoin dogs all over his car. And it's a Ferrari. And I was like, dude, no. Yeah. I'm going to have Mickey make a hat like that and make you wear it. They are paying him for that. That is for sure.
01:02:48
Speaker
Oh yeah. Well, back to the the news and we got a couple more and then we're gonna do the Venus stories. um I think this is about Connor because, and this is a quote along with the headline. I burned my thumb on a camping trip and i had to get my legs amputated. I don't know how that works. So Mack Armstrong, 40,
01:03:14
Speaker
so Sorry, it's our generation. Was camping with his friends in Colorado in December, 2024. He put his thumb on a skillet while cooking pasta for dinner. Who cooks pasta over a fucking campfire? First off. I know. It's just a pot of water where it's the same as cooking it on the stove. I didn't think of that. It's just a skillet. So, you know, who uses a skillet?
01:03:40
Speaker
to cook pasta. That's weird. Unless he was heated up. I don't know. It doesn't say. He didn't think about anything. He didn't think anything of it. But as the day went on, his legs started to swell up. His toenails... What is his leg attached to his foot? His thumb attached to his foot? That's so weird. His toenails begin turning purple, and he was in base. Six days later, Max was driven to... at Panty Health Park Parker, Colorado, and had to get certain to have his legs removed. Proofreading goes a long way. I didn't have time. Why did he have to get his legs amputated for burning his pants? That doesn't say. That's just terrible journalism right there. It is. So he had to have a three hour ah operation to have both legs amputated. I came down to a blood voice.
01:04:42
Speaker
The there's a hunting trip with friends. He turned a bit into a nightmare. You could say. That's so weird.
01:04:53
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, that'd be the only thing that would make sure. OK, so yeah the burn had scabs and cuts from living on the out in the outdoors. So it got infected, but it went it got into his blood and went down to his legs. That's what I'm saying.
01:05:12
Speaker
Hm. Strep A.
01:05:18
Speaker
That's so weird. That's so weird. God, that makes me worry about next time I burn myself, man. Because let's be honest, I don't really keep myself clean. You should still burn yourself. I should.
01:05:37
Speaker
out of a burn, dude. I mean, it's purple and stuff, but apparently it it got infected and got into his blood. And it pulled up in and if he wouldn't have his legs amputated, he would have died. But they had to put him in a medical induced coma for three days. Damn, from a burn. I'm saying clean your cut and bruises.
01:06:06
Speaker
Sucks to be. Yeah, like, i man, a lot. I was i totally ready to make fun of this, you know, and call him Connor. But it's not like he did it on purpose. You know, it's not like he was like, I'll just rub it on my foot. you know He got blood poisoning, basically.
01:06:26
Speaker
that's fucking moron but few more well Well, yeah, but but it's what it's like, how many how many times have you burnt yourself on the stove or or even lighten a cigarette? Sometimes if the wind blows wrong, you burn your finger you'll burn your finger. I've gotten several burns. Hell, I mean, yeah, had really i i actually any other wound I you know, I try to keep it clean. I try to You know, antibacterial ointment on it, you know. Yeah, but kind i think the difference was is he was out in the woods. Like... For how fucking long? Two weeks. Okay, so you... They were out in the woods two weeks, and he burped his thumb, and then two days later, he had to be taken to the hospital. So you don't take a first aid kit? When you go for it. That's what I thought. But, like, how often do you go, oh, it's a burn? No big deal.
01:07:21
Speaker
Wrap a band-aid around and keep going. Apparently, he didn't keep the bandage clean. Yeah, um um so I know. Sounds like so look there's a lot more to this. There's a lot left out in this story. It's not a very long story. There's a lot left out. Not very good journalism. Proofreading goes a long way, by the way. Yeah, I had like 10 minutes to come back.
01:07:43
Speaker
I know, even if you had, wednesday wednesday even if you had an entire week to collect news stories, you would still only have 10 minutes to collect news stories. I'm just saying. Fucking facts. I I'm gonna start, actually I'm gonna have stories left over from this week, but I'm still gonna start collecting after tonight's show. That's fine. I'll do it a couple of apps, I told you. It's easy. Anyway, tonight I have news for you guys.
01:08:12
Speaker
No, so do I. I don't know. I don't know. Penny who? What else you got for me? In other news of stupid people. Stupid people. An influencer films herself vandalizing public property and then gets on social media and cries after getting five years in prison. A Colombian influencer And I don't care if I mess up your name because you're too fucking stupid to deserve your name to be said properly. Donetti Maria Rojos, known as Epicolumbia, was sentenced to five years behind bars after filming herself vandalizing public property during a protest.
01:08:58
Speaker
hate dummies little free advice here, a little free advice here to all you criminal minded stupid people. I think you're social warriors and you got there saving the world one cause at a time. If you're going to break the law, this goes out to anybody in general, if you're going to break the law, put your cameras away. There's a reason why our generation Didn't go to jail for the stupid shit we did because there were no cameras. You know, somebody did bring out a camera. They got beat up in a camera. No evidence to tie yourself to. Not that we were criminals by no means, but we did do. No, but but we did do dumb stuff like I remember us driving through towers, which was technically illegal. Yeah. Well, anyways,
01:09:55
Speaker
a So during yeah in November of 2019, Columbia was rocked by a violet by violent protest against the government of former President Ivan Duque. I don't know. Duque? Duque. We're going to call him Duque. Duque. It was during this time that the popular influence posted a video of herself vandalizing a public transportation station in Bogota, smashing windows, card readers, and access registers with a hammer and painting the walls with spray paint. Video, of course, went viral, getting her tons of attention online, but it also
Unusual Side Hustles and Inheritances
01:10:40
Speaker
became the topic of an investigation that culminated in an initial prison sentence of three and a half years for property damage and disruption of public transportation.
01:10:53
Speaker
Columbia later apologized for her actions. Of course she did. She got on her stupid tiki-taki and she put up her stupid crocodile tears and boo-hooed and wang cried and said, I'm sorry. Shout out to Columbia. chestster out like me cigarettes yeah Shout out to Columbia and their judicial system because that didn't help as much as the prosecutor's office appeal.
01:11:20
Speaker
uh prosecutors office appealed its sentence and secured a five-year sentence and a fine that is equivalent of 493 monthly minimum wages damn they got her for 493 monthly minimum wages yeah but whatever that equation uh actually i'm gonna look it up because i don't know what it is research on that minimum
01:11:52
Speaker
wage What? Say minimum wage is $10 and you make $15 an hour. It's $323 a month is minimum. Okay. No, they will say you make $600 a month to live off of and they take half of it. That's a hit in the pocket regardless. How many months? 493. That's several years. It's like,
01:12:21
Speaker
It's $159,239. She has to pay out. Ouch! Mm-hmm. Wear a mask. Right? You know what? Yeah, man. Wear a mask. COVID taught us anything. Masks are actually a good thing. I'm just saying, you know the old saying, Popo, fuck her out and find out. Please do the games. Please do the prizes. And don't think it...
01:12:53
Speaker
You're an influencer, stupid. Everybody knows you. Yeah. You probably have your address on social media. No, I have no idea who you are. I'm more than I care who you are because to me in my world, you're just a dumb son of a bitch and you're getting, you're just desserts for being stupid. Agreed. We put stupid people into camps. We should put them all on an island with cameras so we can watch them all act dumb. van And they can each try to dodge a bullet.
01:13:27
Speaker
Agreed. At least that's the one thing they have going for them. Yeah, but they get beat up a lot. I see those videos all the time. the You never should go back to your mom's basement and stop trying to change the world. die It's Call of Duty on the game. It's real. like knocked the But we got to give credit where credit is due. They do wear masks so they don't get caught. so they have At least one of them has a brain. saying hey dude put on mask good as Don't be a jackass. Wear a mask. Come to the coast. It'll be fun. Why don't you drink? Come to the coast. We'll beat up a fucking his bus stop.
01:14:07
Speaker
We'll protest and riot. It'll be fun. There was a protest here. Was it 21? And my wife's like, let's go. And I was like, what are you fucking retarded?
01:14:20
Speaker
So I guess the other day was like, because of like the, uh, shipping out the illegal immigrants. I guess they did like a, they staged like a walkout a day without immigrants or something here in the States. Nobody noticed. I didn't notice a fucking thing. So I don't think anybody else did either because there was a whole movie about it called a day without Mexicans.
01:14:47
Speaker
Yeah. the The only reason I didn't think about it was because some tick doctor came on with her self-righteous ways and white savior mentality. She was like, how about feel Americans, all the immigrants walked out. I was like, I don't think anybody knew as much about that as I did the fucking Grammys. Look at that. I don't think we were affected at all. Good job, I guess. I'll know. Not really sure. I mean, I get it, but.
01:15:15
Speaker
still illegal and which sope don't play stupid games people don't play stupid
01:15:45
Speaker
distribution distribution centers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody rolled up in there last night and started shooting people. Oh, in Ohio. Yeah, I did see that. Yeah, man. Yeah. One of Austin's friends lives, like, right across the street from the building, and they were on Snapchat together talking. He was like, oh, shit, there's, like, 500 cops outside my house. I guess somebody's shooting up a distribution center across the street. Free TVs!
01:16:15
Speaker
I was like, dang, come son. Unfortunately,
01:16:24
Speaker
yeah like fortunately and unfortunately and unfortunately, I think only one person lost their life. So unfortunately somebody died, but fortunately it was only one, all things considered. So that was pretty wild. That happened last night. So it's been all over the news all day today.
01:16:42
Speaker
I did, I did see that on ticky tacky last night. I was scrolling and I saw it or this morning and I was like, huh. And then I completely forgot about it until you brought it up. Cause I scrolled. I think there's been a whole lot of, I think they caught the person. I think they're not a whole lot of details that I've seen, but yeah. Cause like the, the, when I, when it popped up on my TikTok, it was literally just a photo of the news article.
01:17:11
Speaker
And then music in the background, I was like, huh. And I saw the word Ohio and I was like, Oh yeah yeah. But then again, I have my own problems. So there's that. Well, actually speaking of your own problems, um, you know, you, you were talking, uh, was it Saturday night about side hustles. So a gentleman on his side hustle, he cleans great as a side hustle.
01:17:40
Speaker
And it gave him enough cash to buy his first home. um good So what he does is he charges families between $187 and the highest one is 562. So he does, he does just to kind of clean off. There's a deep clean, then there's a deep clean and soak and a re, a repainting and and decorative clipping, you know, so he cleans up around it as well.
01:18:08
Speaker
And he's so far, he's done over 300 graves since he began in May of 23.
01:18:16
Speaker
ah Sean Tukey, T-O-O-K-E-Y. 31 has cleaned more than 300 grades since he began his side business in May of 2023. Sean has been able to purchase his first home for his family.
01:18:34
Speaker
By saving for a deposit and getting a mortgage, something he said is achieved, he's been able to achieve just by doing a side hustle. And he does it on the weekends. He's got a regular fucking job too. How do you conduct? Well, I think there's a registry in the- When you go to a certain grave,
01:19:03
Speaker
cemeter there's like a registry where you can look up. He's like, okay, this guy's relative is Bob. Let's call Bob. Hey, Bob, you know, grandpa's graves, looks and kind of like shit. I don't like the motherfucker anyways. leave these thousand like gonna But it does show up. little bitch I go piss on it every chance I get. But yeah, he I'm going to show the video here. This is kind of cool. He's a, he does.
01:19:32
Speaker
There's a a chick on, I see her on on YouTube all the time. ah She does it. um I don't know if she gets paid for it or not, but she goes- I see a couple of people do it for free, right? Like, like she has she owns a cleaning business, but I think she does it for free. And sure she goes and finds some super old gravestones and shit like when everything's grown over top of it and and everything like that. She found one of a baby from like the 1800s, man. I've seen a couple of people like that on TikTok. there It's interesting stuff. Yeah, you can see here, he's really doing it up, man. Yeah. Damn, that thing works. You like graveyards, dude. I'm just saying. Look, he's repainting the letters and shit. Look, I'm putting that up.
01:20:27
Speaker
compared to before and after. What up, Jedi? You handsome son of a bitch. How you doing? I mean, I do like graveyards. I'm just saying. Steal this guy's business model. There's plenty of graveyards and in Ohio.
01:20:46
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like somebody's going to yell at me if I go church up their graves, like their mom's gravesite.
01:20:54
Speaker
Yeah, you'll just pick up the body and put it underneath your passenger seat. Let's be honest. Here, hang out with my mom for a while. I'm gonna clean your grave stone. You try to hear family members and relatives and loved ones being in the cemetery. They all fit in the back of a traverse. I'm just saying. You just call me up and they can ride around with old Mickey Pooh. We're talking about believing in spirits, man. Imagine a fucking ghost I'd bring home with me. Jesus.
01:21:23
Speaker
No, but it's one of those things. that's like It's it's A, it's a nice thing. And, you know, you remember at the old apartment, you guys were freaked out by Ghostface Charlie. That was behind me on the wall. Yeah. Imagine if I'm sitting here and I got okay some somebody's granny's ghost walk. Sorry, guys. Had to work. shit Midnight. You guys are fucking great.
01:21:48
Speaker
Was sitting here in my mug float server out of nowhere. Thanks, Randy. We did that, Pepsi. I appreciate you. The fuck is going on with it? Pay no attention. Ignore her. She'll go away. These are not the ghosts you were looking for.
01:22:06
Speaker
yeah that star check reference jesus I'm just saying, it's one of those things where it's like, it's it's It's amazing little side hustles that you don't think of. No, yeah. 100%. It's just a matter of getting out there and doing things. You know, I'm trying to. It doesn't look like this is a lot of equipment. Yeah, I'm trying to do that with this. ah So. yep Well, sir, it's about that time. Should we go to break and then come back for some still working? Yeah, we can do that or I can hit another quick
01:22:48
Speaker
Quick news story, whichever one you want to do. Yeah, go ahead. I have one that relates to my grandmother, but... because I think my grandmother's got this one with me, but... Because we were talking about dead people? Well, yeah, well... So a family was... their grandmother died. And grandma had a collection of over a thousand salt and pepper shakers.
01:23:16
Speaker
yeah I sh... I knew I yeah, i I choose not to acknowledge because he doesn't just to piss me off. So yeah, the woman that her grandmother's collection was over 1000 salt and pepper shakers. And it's actually 1,150 pieces, which my grandmother used to collect. My grandma, hawk she used to collect salt and pepper shakers. She over she had over 2000 when she died. Because I know because I built all the shelves to hang them on.
01:23:47
Speaker
My dad and I did.
01:23:51
Speaker
unnecessary gra But yeah it was one of those things. what Once people realize you collect certain things every day, like every Christmas, New Year's, you get 14 cents. You know, I collect dead people under my driver's seat. Apparently. Who's going to help me out? We just talked about two dudes who got shot. Go dig them up.
01:24:11
Speaker
I'm just saying, you know, just so everybody knows, I collect dead people and I put them under my seat, my car. Who wants to send me that? Email us at nonsense of a nonsense podcast at Gmail dot com and build a pack of marbles and just send you the ashes. there go
01:24:32
Speaker
She a smoker.
01:24:37
Speaker
yeah just you i was the oh ge ah No, interesting about my grandmother's woman, never had a driver's license. It doesn't sound like my daughter.
01:24:51
Speaker
she brought diagnos She, she, uh, she grew up in Frederick town. I think you've been to grandma's house. We went there for breakfast one one monday day. probably She was right next to the, uh, high school.
01:25:07
Speaker
turn it down in high school. he's hero I don't remember what happened last week, let alone what happened almost every year. I do remember stopping at my grandma's house like three times a week because grandma, we'd walk in and grandma was like, you boys eat yet? And she'd cook us some fucking breakfast. Yeah. I wouldn't cook everything in bacon grease. Yeah, I'm sure it's happened.
01:25:36
Speaker
Some people's houses, I wasn't allowed to stay for dinner. It's not my fault they had a hot ass mom. Fucking Vinny. I was like, shot you in the face with a power washer. Vinny's mom was hot.
01:25:52
Speaker
Everyone's like, I just, I sent Vinny a message. How's your mom? and yeah Stop talking about your granny's drivers. I said, you know, you have a green card. but yeah Actually I do.
01:26:04
Speaker
It's actually green, too. Oddly enough. My permanent residence card is green. Wow. Wow. He's on one. one mean I ain't never been one to turn down a nice gummer. I don't know what to say. You know.
01:26:31
Speaker
Oh, Lord have mercy.
01:26:35
Speaker
if
01:26:39
Speaker
Oh, my grandma, my grandma's dead, you bastards. She's going to be riding shotgun and good scarves for long. She's been dead for like 15 years. It's like an old country. So man, it's not that old. It came out like the late, like mid nineties, maybe early, early 2000s. It's like riding with the private McGee or some shit like that. But it's about a dude who buys his old, like old, uh, like Mustang or something like that. And and it was a guy, it was a guy who got shipped off to Vietnam and he wound up dying. And then the car just sat in the garage. And one day it was in the local paper and, uh, the dad or whatever it was like, just wanted to get rid of it. So it was super cheap. But it turns out that, uh, the ghost of the soldier was in the car riding with
01:27:33
Speaker
Homeboy that bought the goddamn car, man. That's the dream, dude.
Music Feature: Jules and 'Boys Club'
01:27:38
Speaker
Right? Built-in alarm, just saying. Protected by a ghost. When they're gone. That story's spelling what it's like to be a great buy a ghost. Nobody wants that. Well, they did. She was weird.
01:27:52
Speaker
yeah i was That was the only time I wasn't mad at Torres Bellingboy. I was like, eh, Torres Bellingboy. I was going yeah, this is probably the only time. You can get it in that scene, boy. Let me tell you. p She had a she had a ah ah a very short phase where she was pretty attractive. Very short. Mostly annoying. Like you and Ike. Very short. Or your dick size. Very short. It's comparable to your height.
01:28:22
Speaker
yeah
01:28:24
Speaker
I am not a tripod.
01:28:30
Speaker
I mean, not many people would say they are so. Speaking of penises, yes. Take us to break and we'll come back with yeah the weekly penis report. So we're going to do Boys Club. What's the song? Boys Club. This is by Jules. That's her brand new song.
01:28:51
Speaker
Yeah, so we're gonna play a little boy's club. We'll be back in about three minutes and 41 seconds. I was gonna say, did your mom just play the guitar there for a second? She's learning new tricks. I'm impressed. She did it from a gun. We'll be right back and enjoy a little boy's club by
01:32:52
Speaker
Yeah, those little joules and the howl with Boys Club. I like that song. I was listening to a couple of other songs last night, and I went for my pizza. Miss Jules can do no wrong, in my opinion. I agree. That chick can sing more. She can sing, and she's awesome. She's an awesome fucking person. she does She does seem like a bit of a live wire, you know what I mean? She's fucking awesome. Hanging out with that chick, there would be no like, boring moment where you're just like, now what? She's just like, that' not that all right, I'm down.
01:33:28
Speaker
yeah she she You're in a tent, honey. Turn it out a
'What the Fuck News' and 'Weekly Penis Report'
01:33:33
Speaker
while a day. yeah But yeah, welcome back, everybody to what the fuck news. All the news that is news makes me say what the fuck. And we're about to go into my favorite section.
01:33:45
Speaker
b he Well, ladies and gentlemen, everyone else of age of 18 and or plus gather round. I got a story to tell you. Parental, parental advisory warning coming up. 18 and over only not saved for work. You know what time it is. It's time for your weekly penis report. Penis.
01:34:32
Speaker
Firmly our desk, like 3D printed eggplants, so we can firmly grasp them while we do the penis report. yeah you You get all over that bubble. Just order you a Dragon's Town.
01:34:59
Speaker
yeah but Lazy, it's time for you to... What you don't know is I'm sitting on one right now. You know what time it is, Lazy? You're about to be riding some egg.
01:35:12
Speaker
and might rather at the camp fire little a little story bo yeah well We're going to finish up. We're going to finish up this uh little uh little BuzzFeed article that we started last week. Women are sharing the most surprising things they didn't realize about penises. That's right.
01:35:29
Speaker
this is taste for what everyone tonight was about like This one, not about this, this comes from, from women and their initial reaction, the first time they ever seen a penis. Hopefully it's not every night. Hopefully it is that one time thing. Um, time they're like, I can't believe it's so hard to start the night out with, uh, just a short and sweet one. Much like Jeff's penis short and not so sweet. It's got that weird lash on the top of it.
01:36:01
Speaker
Anyways, Ruby says, in her very short answer, the things. The things. The things. You know we're in trouble. Time to put in some work, boys. You're about to see some things. The things. The things.
01:36:27
Speaker
it's my show i could show it it by way Number one surprise. harris one ah Life gives you a lemon heads. She says,
01:36:45
Speaker
no no she says out that's i weird person day yeah that's the person's day she says she says so I had never seen even so much of a picture of a penis.
01:36:57
Speaker
I had only seen babies naked, like while changing diapers. So I was absolutely shook by the size of the thing. It was like five times bigger than I expected. And I was freaked out. It reminded me of a dangling third leg. Said no woman that's ever been with Jeff Wright.
01:37:17
Speaker
Thank you, little John. Appreciate your time. It's a good to have you on the show tonight. And I know we had special guest, little John in the building. Yes, we do. I realized we still had that sound effect, so I was like, oh, good job. I'm getting pretty popular around here. I want to fuck news. Little John's stopping by. Put that in the advertisement. Right?
01:37:42
Speaker
The the laughing pair, she says, how completely floppy and structureless it is when soft. I always want to flop it around like those gel sparkly stress tube toys from the 90s. Feel free. The laughing pair. Yeah, it's not. I hate to break it to you, but it's not going to stay floppy for very long. Yeah, keep playing with it, honey. See what happens. It's going to become very rigid. Yes.
01:38:10
Speaker
um yeah But Noodle Bamboozled, she writes, to yeah, grab your head around that one. But Noodle Bamboozled, she says, it can jump on its own.
01:38:32
Speaker
yeah but ah thank Little John is just good name for his. Yeah, that's what I call it. ah like john little hit shop little little john from ah from a fucking rain promise girl He's right by my name. in real life. I'm really big. kit says my girlfriend thought penises had to be hard to go pee. That would be.
01:39:07
Speaker
that would be
01:39:11
Speaker
It's not easy to piss when you're hard. I'm just saying. We all know. There's a reason why we do that weird lean up against the wall thing in the morning. Yeah. You got to like lean and aim it. As Jim Carrey did in Me Myself, and Irene grabs a picture frame of Rick and Shane. Yeah. You got to have something to kind of aim that some bitch, because it's not easy to aim it. It'll get away from you. It'll get away from you.
01:39:41
Speaker
It's not easy at all to aim when it's all standing on attention. Morning wood is the devil when you got to pass, man. Amen to that. Amen to that. Even if you sit down, you end up missing the bowl anyways. Yeah, and then you got to like do that weird like adjust and kind of tuck it under the lip. And then as soon as you lean forward, it smacks the top of the seats.
01:40:13
Speaker
oh like walk and going What are you doing? Don't worry about it. Just trying to take my morning pics. The weirdest thing you've seen me do. Glendy walk. She says, how goofy it looks when flaccid. Like it's just this weird stretching knob hanging out between your legs.
01:40:35
Speaker
How can that not feel weird when you walk? How do you walk and not squish everything between your thighs with every step? egen Still blows my mind a little when I stopped to think about it, she says. That's okay. we We sit there and wonder why you can't stare at your boobs all day. Cause we do that. We would do that. If we grew boobs tomorrow, we would stand in the mirror and play with our own breasts for like 12 hours every day. Pretty much.
01:41:04
Speaker
Sounds me now and he's got great. bos
01:41:11
Speaker
He even puts one of those little green probably everything sounds messy. Can't aim it. It aims itself one heart. I mean, I don't know. i Yeah, it's, it's, so it's a workout. Some days our balls stuck to the wall. Yeah, man. We got to do that weird, like.
01:41:30
Speaker
Walking down an aisle at the grocery store and do that weird like little leg move to try to unstick them. So you're not looking like a fucking weirdo. Just do a karate kick out of nowhere. Kick a whole fucking shuffle. Canned corn down. ads we stuck to we There was a dance move that we used to do back in the day. of like Like my buddy Kevin and we When we were trying to be discreet, you know, we've all tried to be like discreet and adjust our jump. And we started doing, it was like a little dance move. And then when there was a song, the balls might be sticking to my leg. Back in the day.
01:42:15
Speaker
back bad bad That's the great thing about doing this show with no pants on. I can just reach down. playing with it just Just rearrange it. You can firmly grasp it.
01:42:26
Speaker
um just second there There is that there isn an art to gracefully unsticking your, ah yeah but nobody has figured that art out because we all know when it's happening. At this point, at this point we might as well just we might as well just run the risk of looking like a perv in the stores and reach down and just pull it off your fucking leg and and go about your business. I saw something on TikTok where a girl realized that when your balls hit, you don't actually scratch. You squeeze and twist.
01:42:58
Speaker
You need to hold. She's like, I didn't realize you couldn't just scratch them. Oh yeah, they don't stand still for that.
01:43:09
Speaker
Like a bongo. When your balls hit, you play the bongos on your balls. but You know, kind of like how and women who have weaves in their hair, they can't scratch it, so they do the pat thing on their head. Oh, okay, I get it. Yeah, I just do that on my balls. I'm doing it right now. I never had a weave.
01:43:27
Speaker
I've never did it one way with a weave, either.
01:43:33
Speaker
Don't mind Glick, everybody. He's just scratching his balls. Play free bird!
01:43:42
Speaker
keep you can
01:43:47
Speaker
you happy you like white college
01:43:53
Speaker
I'm a drummer, and I didn't even know it. I had to think about it there for a second. What's this song that plays drums? Oh, yeah, Wipeout. Shout out to Fawn, speaking of drummers. Shout out to Fawn's last night. He was on Glitch House of Music filling in for the band ah on her perfect season. He was fun. We had a lot of fun. Shout out to the Chatter spots. Anyway, back to the penises. Not another California girl says, helicopter dick.
01:44:21
Speaker
That shit was wild the first time I saw it, she says. Shicks freak out, dude, and they think it's fucking hilarious. You got to get them comfortable, bro. You can't just walk out of the job and be like, hey, check this out. They got to know you first. You can't do that day one. I'm just saying. Learn that, dog. She's going to say, Joe. As soon as they get in my house, you want to see something cool? It's like a tassel.
01:44:50
Speaker
Lazy what is good going full bunkers on his balls make my balls rich because you want to play the bunkers do I'm telling you don not good way to try it little buddy yeah don't knock it until you try it little buddy um still waiting to live still still waiting to live she says the texture of the skin is soft and warm, but also how it had a curve to it. I thought a penis was meant to be completely straight. Yeah. She's in a shock for what she sees the next one. I'm just saying. Wait a minute. Where's the curve? yeah Some are, honor some are, some are big, some are small. Some look like anteaters. Some look like anteaters. Some don't. Some look like German army helmets. Yeah.
01:45:43
Speaker
Um, music lover and Elle, she says, not my proudest moment, but the first time I saw my first boyfriend ejaculate, I giggled and said volcano.
01:45:56
Speaker
She's a keeper. and And she says, and I was, and I was way too happy. My ex-boyfriend was confused. I gotta admit I'd be slightly confused at first too, but I would have high fived that chick. Yeah.
01:46:11
Speaker
wellly yeah vol yeah Well young lady. Well played. Welcome to Mount Fuji, baby. You want to see another one?
01:46:23
Speaker
Oh my God. That's that's kind of chicken. She's got a sense of humor. You can show her the helicopter. Yeah. Yeah. You can show her the helicopter. You can give her the old good game.
01:46:37
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like all these posts you are reading are from people who quit being nuns like 10 minutes before they but Well, I mean you have to remember everybody is a virgin At one, you know at one point, you know, so you you see your Yeah,
01:46:56
Speaker
yeah yeah I mean even Jeff was a virgin at 1.9 So, you know the first time he's seen a cock I'm sure it surprised him a little bit because it was probably way bigger than his so That's still my problem. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, we were all burgers at one time. That's not a very hard vibe. Like I said, I do want to find the reverse of this story. It won't necessarily be penis stories, but I would love to hear the guy's response to the first time they saw a vagina. Well, I have a question for you on that, on that subject. Have you ever, and this is kind of a weird question, you ever
01:47:31
Speaker
been comfortable enough with your wife, girlfriend, or something where she's like, yeah, go ahead, take a look. And you go, oh, look at that. He's a little man on the boat. I can't say that I've, ah I mean, I get up close to personal, but. Oh, I do, too. Yeah, I mean, not fucking Bill Nye the Science, the Bill Nye the Magic Act. No, my first girlfriend, she's like, go ahead, take a look, that way you know what you're doing. I'm like, yeah, i don't worry, I don't know. And you still don't know what you're doing. Oh, no, I don't.
01:47:57
Speaker
yeah So that was neither beneficial for her or you. Yeah, that was yesterday. so No, I'm just saying, no, I've never, I am not a gynecologist. I'm not going down there to examine it. I'm going to do my first time seeing one. so yeah i'm do one yeah take a look he didn't Yeah. And then all those like then and I was like, I know what I'm doing. I got this. I'm going to do one of a few options, DJ skills, Wiki, Wiki, Wiki. I'm going to go to the all I can eat buffet or oh fuck it's jackhammering time. Maybe I'll show you that. Maybe I'll show you my bongo skills are you really youre right on the man in the canoe.
01:48:47
Speaker
You like that fucker? Hope you're itchy. Of it would probably be a lot. way It would probably be a lot squishier. and Oh, I get a little splashing. Now I get in the wet zone. Yeah. Splash zone. Get your bancho out. kitchen your bano out what What was that guy's name? The guy used to smash Gallagher. Gallagher. Just call me Gallagher, baby. I got this. Jeff recorded himself right after seeing the first time. Yeah, pretty much. I don't know what to do with this thing. fuck i'm ah I'm out of here. I don't know what to do with this thing.
01:49:27
Speaker
just like now penis i know what to do with a penis um i was really grass we didn my purplely grass um don't even try me he he she says that's her name on don't even try me.
01:49:46
Speaker
but She says the way the hard part stayed put but the skin moved around it. I didn't know how else to describe it. So it's like Yeah, I know how that works. Go ahead. Go ahead and explain it like for our viewing audience.
01:50:07
Speaker
Check out this video. okay Here's a link. but I got it. You got it in my eyes. to Oh, Jesus. Sorry, Blaze. I told you it was an accident.
01:50:25
Speaker
it was One fucking time. blaze calm down One time, bro it happened one time. We talked about it. I thought we got past it. Clearly not. stra off in It's like, it's like in those old cheesy werewolf movies when the, when he starts to change order, all his skin starts to peel off. And finally, last but not least, Glitterberries.
01:50:54
Speaker
She sounds fun. just ah She says, Glitterberry says, not the penis, but testicles are alive. Like two separate living entities in a soft sack, a sock, softball. Words are hard. A soft skin bag. I could not believe how much they moved around. And if you give them a little poke,
01:51:24
Speaker
they move even more. And then if it's cold, the skin underneath gets all thick and clumpy. They're extremely fun, she says. She sounds like a fun. Calm down there, fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson woman. she She spent some time. Look at these three cups.
01:51:51
Speaker
She's the kind of chick that you wake up, and she's just inspecting your dick, and you're like, what the fuck are you doing? It's not going to suck itself. The comments here, the very the top comment says, from Ambam, she says, seeing your first truly large penis, sir, what are you going to do with that thing? We need to formulate a plane of attack.
01:52:15
Speaker
I was on TikTok last night, and then there's a radio show, I can't remember what it's called, They called people on why they didn't return a call from a date. And they call this girl and they're like, hey, you know, you went out with Rick or whatever his name is, I don't remember. And he was wondering why you didn't call her back, call her back. She's like, what did he tell you? She says, well, you know, you guys went out to dinner, then you're back to his place. And then you just got up and left. She's like, yeah, he was huge.
01:52:49
Speaker
yeah And I got scared. of that I was like, ah ah um I don't have that experience. I don't know. It's like it's like playing with kinetic. She's all about the nutsack cosmos, Neil DeGrasse. Neil DeSack Tyson. Tyson, yes. I'm looking at some of these. Some time there.
01:53:11
Speaker
um I'm looking at some of these comments from this post and it's almost worth going through these next week. Some of them, uh, it's what I never understood how men could ride bicycles. Where did the balls go? I can't work out how men sit on horses. My husband and I rode road ride roller coasters all the time together in the nineties. It was all the rage for parks and standing roller or standing coasters. Also, I haven't closed or converted to sit down one because they don't age well and turn into headaches, b blayh blah, blah, blah. Um,
01:53:41
Speaker
Somebody answers, the answer is bicycle seats to stand. It was a surprise that bigger is definitely not always better. Too big and it's just uncomfortable. Somebody commented underneath of it of an ass in a coffin, says dead ass.
01:54:00
Speaker
And then one lady says, and not one comment of seeing your first um uncircumcised penis. I wondered why it pointed down and looked at me so and looked sad at me. yeah
01:54:14
Speaker
There's a born video of this really good looking chick. she's This guy pulls it out and it's like the size of my arm and she just faints. She's like, no, oh not today. She commented, she says, I was shocked when I saw, when I first saw an uncircumcised penis. I had so many questions. FYI, kind of a buzzkill. Do not recommend.
01:54:45
Speaker
a Oh, that's horrible.
01:54:53
Speaker
I was so surprised to find out what it felt like when you touched your eyelid and your eyes closed. I didn't think skin would move around, but it still will be so hard underneath. Yeah, it still freaks me out a bit to know that I'm 28 with two kids.
01:55:13
Speaker
It's just that the penis feels like your eyelid when your eyes are closed. yeah Comments below, a deaf just felt my own eyelid.
01:55:24
Speaker
you i yeah Literally felt my eyelid. I read in your comment. Also agree. Very accurate. i little say um
01:55:39
Speaker
i'll be
01:55:44
Speaker
that's so larry it' for ah it's like This lady says lawyer lady says the number of times I've seen one in places where I didn't want to see one like public transit gentlemen,
01:55:58
Speaker
I've just received my monthly newsletter on the All Women Everywhere Secret Email Lister. We all subscribe to, and it turns out that an exhaustive survey of our members literally no one wants you to whip your dick out in front of us in public. Shocking, I know. A number of you apparently think otherwise, but PSA, we don't We've also published helpful flowchart in case you want to print it and save and save it in your wallet to refer to later. See below. Am I on a train or a similar public place? Should I whip my dick out? No. Put that shit away. These are arrows pointed down. Right. Okay. Now what should I do?
01:56:41
Speaker
for strongly reevaluate your life choices. No, but this is the same thing with dick pics. Nobody wants to see your dick ever. Like maybe some big guy in the back of the bar, but no woman is like, I really want to see a dick today.
01:57:04
Speaker
I'm pretty sure I can speak for women to this one time and say none of them went, you know what? I hope I see a dick today.
01:57:15
Speaker
oh Well, unless she's a hooker. I mean, she definitely wants to see one, so she can get paid. I mean, i think I think even hookers aren't really down for unsolicited wang cakes.
01:57:31
Speaker
Well, well, well, what do we have here? Did you see a dick pic, did you? No. In the bongos? Damn it, please. I said no more.
01:57:44
Speaker
Nope, nope, nope. I found from the cosmic. If you keep doing that, you're going to go blind, but it's all right. I'm just saying while gentlemen next week, unless I find a better one.
01:58:07
Speaker
from Cosmopolitan, 11 guys describing, seeing a vagina for the first time. And they literally could not deal.
01:58:19
Speaker
Unless I find otherwise. That's what we're
Conclusion and Goodbyes
01:58:22
Speaker
doing next year. 90% of guys were like, holy shit, this is actually happening. Because the first time we're like, wow. I did. I'm impressed with myself.
01:58:41
Speaker
Don't worry, Jedi, I'll get you next week. Well, everybody, that was our penis story. There is your weekly penis report.
01:59:08
Speaker
Well, as always, everybody, thanks for everybody watching. Thanks for everybody listening. Don't forget bio dot.link slash nonsensical network. And we'll see you, I will see you on Friday for Nonsense and Chill hosted by Blaze. And now we'll see you sexy sons of bitches in your dreams.
01:59:29
Speaker
sir or nightmares let's be honest shut up it's nightmares i promise you you know what sometimes you know what i'm really sick and tired of being sexually fetishized as a bigfoot
01:59:49
Speaker
You struggled so hard to say that. ah You almost flubbed it. I almost did. Bye, everybody. And that's the news that makes us say what the fuck. Be good or be good at it, baby. Bye. Bye.
02:00:15
Speaker
Nonsensical network, different flavor every day. Movie talks, new flips, hidden in display. Microphone magic, musicians spill the praise. From reptiles to motorsports, burning rubber craze. Football crashes, touchdowns, epic plays. New spinning, catching on the urban stories we embrace.
02:01:07
Speaker
But the vibe is just right tuning
02:01:18
Speaker
always on repeat
02:01:31
Speaker
there it is we're out