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00:00:01
What You’re Not Told About Surrogacy and Egg Donation
81 Plays20 days ago
In this episode, we’re sharing a conversation featuring Katy Encalade, President & CEO of Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions, from the IVF Daddies Podcast.
If you’re exploring surrogacy or egg donation, it’s easy to focus on the steps but having a clearer understanding of the bigger picture makes all the difference.
In this conversation, Katy breaks down:
• What a realistic timeline looks like from embryo creation to baby
• Why many families need more embryos than they expect
• Where patience matters most in the journey
• Why matching matters more than speed
• What Intended Parents often overlook when choosing an egg donor
• Red flags to watch for when evaluating agencies
This is the part of the process most people don’t fully understand, until they’re already in it.
If you’re exploring surrogacy or egg donation, it’s easy to focus on the steps but having a clearer understanding of the bigger picture makes all the difference.
If you’re early in your journey, or already in the middle of it, this will change how you think about what comes next.
Recommended
Transcript
Misconceptions and Struggles in Surrogacy
00:00:00
Speaker
When you step into a path like surrogacy or egg donation, it's easy to assume you'll figure it out as you go or try and learn everything all at once and end up overwhelmed.
00:00:11
Speaker
But what we see every day is that the families who struggle the most are often the ones who were told what they wanted to hear at the beginning, instead of being given a clear and full understanding of what the process actually requires.
00:00:26
Speaker
In this episode, President and CEO of Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, Katie Incolade, shares her insight after nearly two decades in the industry on one of the most recognized platforms in the LGBTQ family building space, the IVF Daddies podcast.
00:00:40
Speaker
In her conversation with IVF Daddies co-founder Julio, Katie breaks down what this process really looks like from timelines to decision points to the parts of the journey that require the most patience.
00:00:53
Speaker
This is not about quick wins. It's about understanding what you're stepping into so you can move forward with clarity, not confusion.
Insights from Katie Incolade on Surrogacy
00:01:02
Speaker
If you're an intended parent taking initial steps in this journey, or even in the middle of it, this can completely change how you approach what comes next.
00:01:12
Speaker
Enjoy. Hello and welcome to the IVF Daddy's Podcast. My name is Julio and today we have the pleasure to interview Katie Ankalade from Egg Donor and Surrogate Solution. Hello, Katie, how are you?
00:01:25
Speaker
Hi Julio, thank you so much for having me. Doing great. I know I'm so glad that we got to do this. Last time I saw you we were in Texas for um an event to going around the globe to help people to create their families. So tell me a little bit about you. What are you guys working on right now at the moment at egg donor and surrogate solutions?
00:01:47
Speaker
That's a great question. So right now, I think we definitely are gearing up for a few other conferences and things that we go to where we share with families what it looks like to go through this process.
00:01:58
Speaker
the right questions to ask. We have Seeds coming up, which is an organization that helps through ethics in egg donation and surrogacy. And otherwise, you know, summer is a great time for building families. It's a time that surrogates and egg donors are like committed to starting the process and families have gotten through the craziness of the new year and they're ready to be building their families as well.
Understanding Surrogacy Costs and Processes
00:02:22
Speaker
I know because we also just came back from ah Taipei from building families in the US and we went to Hong Kong and then Taipei and the conference was really, really amazing. The attendees were great. What I'm noticing is every year you see the younger, especially the same sex community, the men are getting younger and younger to start the process.
00:02:45
Speaker
It's good. And yeah, and one of the things that I realized is that when you go to these conferences, you think people have, but i mean, we're on the inside, right? So you think people have an idea of what they're going through because most people get there with an invitation, right? They get there by a friend, by somebody they're already going through the journey. And in my head, personally, i would think that they would know a little bit.
00:03:10
Speaker
And what I've noticed the most is that they know a lot about cost, but they don't know anything about the process. Wow. So that's really interesting because from an agency standpoint, most people come to us, they've like researched a little bit and cost sometimes can be the sticker shock that people have when they come to us. But you're right. The process is so intricate and there are so many pieces of it.
00:03:35
Speaker
So i'm glad they have spaces that they can learn more. Yeah. And one of the things that I've noticed is there's a lot of people that they wish they knew something before. So in your case, what do you think people should know before coming to see you that you wish that you wouldn't have to repeat or that they will ask the right questions? Well, first of all, we as I mean, when I get the privilege of talking to family, I love going through the process with them. But I think sometimes people come to us not understanding that you don't have to be ready to jump
00:04:08
Speaker
headfirst into this
Stages of the Surrogacy Journey
00:04:10
Speaker
process. And, you know, if if you're in the spring, you do not have to be ready to have, you know, embryos created and then a surrogate and then have a baby next summer, and that it is appropriate to take this in phases and not to feel rushed on the process. Because knowing what you're going through and taking your time and being educated Finding the right partners is what helps there not to be major mistakes and hiccups down the line.
00:04:40
Speaker
So I just wish people knew that they could take their time. Yeah. and And on that note of what you're touching, because it's very important because sometimes people think that they're going to get in and they're going to get out with the whole project. Right. And that they're starting to understand that you can do certain things in small pockets, of especially pockets of time, too. So if you had to simplify the whole journey, how would you break it down in fewer stages?
00:05:05
Speaker
Oh, that's a good question. So I think um semen analysis is an important part. Making a decision, um especially if you are a same-sex couple, are you both providing sperm or just one person? Knowing that is going to help you hop into that egg donor part and figuring out that other piece. And so, you know, do we want egg donor that's donated before, maybe more likely to generate more eggs in order to create those embryos? However, i always tell families,
00:05:36
Speaker
Be prepared for a donor to do this two times, not one time, even that that would be like the best case scenario. So we've done a semen analysis and made the decision about an egg donor. And then once those embryos are created, you can explore the surrogacy aspect of finding that right surrogate for your family. And then, of course, there's the transfer and the pregnancy and all of the things that go along with that.
00:06:02
Speaker
Go a little deeper on the part that you said, make sure that people are prepared to get their donors do it two times. Why? Because you still just do not know how many embryos are being created. So I've worked with families that, sure, the donor had a great number of eggs retrieved, you know, in the low 20s. And then they were able to fertilize those eggs. But once they came back from genetic testing, had one intended father that had one embryo and I had the other intended father had eight.
00:06:31
Speaker
What do you do with that information? So the first thing they did was transfer The first intended father's one embryo, they didn't get pregnant. So they went ahead and transferred partner number twos and they did get pregnant, but then they went back to that donor and said, wait, we need for you to donate again and order to get enough embryos because they both wanted to be genetically related to one of their children. So in that case, it wasn't that the donor didn't produce enough eggs. She really did. i mean, 10 embryos, that's a fab or nine embryos. That's a fabulous cycle. But the the breakdown didn't end up how that family needed
Timelines and Planning in Surrogacy
00:07:07
Speaker
it. And so I just always tell families, you know, you want to be prepared for that process if that is your goal long term. Multiple children, multiple transfers, you want to be able that you have enough embryos to go through that process.
00:07:22
Speaker
So then in that topic, what would be a realistic timeline? What would it look like? Like the number of months? So when you tell somebody, get prepared to get your egg donor to go through a second cycle, what be a realistic timeline that you can give your intended parents to not get overwhelmed?
00:07:42
Speaker
So that first cycle we usually say is about four months from start to finish. So you're going to do that. You're going to fertilize those eggs and you're going to know what do you have. And then if you look up and you think we may not have enough to work with, then we usually recommend go ahead. Now you can start that. You can come over here and start the surrogacy journey with the embryos that you do have created. but go ahead and work with that donor again so you have enough embryos. So when you come back two years later, you're not, and and I will say that's only if it's really important that your children are, in a sense, half siblings. If you're open to something different and finding a new donor later, then that's fine. We just usually tell people,
00:08:24
Speaker
Although it has happened. I can think of a family now that they called me last year and was like, so we'd like more embryos and their donor donated for them six years ago. And I called her and I was like, Hey, this is what happened. and she was like, of course I would.
00:08:38
Speaker
Um, because donors really are in this process to help people. I mean, I've called donors up to eight years later and just said now, and then I had to tell those, okay, but she's now 32. She's not, you know, and her early twenties anymore, but for those families, that was really important that the genetic match and, um, those donors are willing to say, okay, yes, let me figure out my life because of, I want to help this family in that way. But we do tell people there's not a guarantee or she could be in the middle of building her own family, being pregnant where it doesn't work. But that's something to be. So you could still go on that path and then come back and still create those embryos and just have those for a future date.
00:09:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's actually amazing. That's one of the things that we're seeing right now is that people have the ability to get at least to the journey of creating embryos, right? You can start, I would say that the healthiest for the mental health of the process, because it's already going through IVF is touch upon fertility, so you cannot procreate naturally. So the journey of zero to embryo is like a good milestone that you can rest a little bit then but you have the two options you manage donation and you and you manage surrogacy so you are like on full-on people management right right yes we are educating and and from both of those stances right because we've had families that have come to us and not understood Okay. What's been the second step of surrogacy after and donation. So, you know, when a family comes to us and they're like, I just need an egg donor. We're like, okay, is surrogacy on your radar? Okay. Let's, let's talk about that. But egg donation is where we need to get to now. It's no surprise to anyone that the number of
00:10:29
Speaker
women available to be surrogates is less than the number of families who need them. um And so surrogates really want to know that those embryos are created, what that looks like, what is the hope for a single embryo transfer double
Matching with Surrogates and Financial Transparency
00:10:43
Speaker
embryo transfer. And then if they don't get pregnant that first time, are there embryos in order to transfer for another time? And so creating those embryos is that first step before even hopping to the surrogacy world.
00:10:56
Speaker
Okay, so we covered the possibility to be mentally prepared for creating more embryos for a second cycle. What is the waiting time for that second cycle for the egg donor to be ready to go again? Like how fast, if I'm an intended parent, and when is it that I need the most patient that I could say, i want more eggs, I want to it now?
00:11:17
Speaker
Yeah. um It's still just four months. So, but you'll be so busy working on that surrogate front to get that first baby rolling. The egg donation will just be sitting here on on the other side, but a donor needs to have two to three periods before she can start meds again. So she has a retrieval and, you know, it's going to take two weeks to get those genetic results back.
00:11:36
Speaker
Then, you know, pretty quickly you could move forward in that process. And then, so when we have the the the possibility to get two cycles for it to get more embryos, What happened because you just mentioned something about the surrogate that it could not get implanted at the first try and then she needs to be ready to go for a second embryo.
00:11:58
Speaker
Is there a waiting time there? Same thing for a or a surrogate herself. Like if if a surrogate doesn't get pregnant with a first transfer. Yeah, it's it's typically...
00:12:10
Speaker
somewhere between two to four months. It just depends on how far she got in that process. You know, was on meds and then she just didn't get pregnant, but there, there is a waiting time for her body to be ready again in order to be off those meds, start those meds again in and order to transfer again.
00:12:27
Speaker
Okay, because I'm trying to put myself in the internet parent's shoes. So let's say that I would love to have my baby through surrogacy, right? So that I come to you and you have the whole package. You have the egg donors and then you have the surrogate. So if I tell you, okay, i want to start with you, does that guarantee a pregnancy, a surrogate, an egg donor all at once? Or how are the steps to get to the surrogacy? So you're taking each of those steps separately. So first step is to create your embryos. And of course we and other agencies, I'm sure have guarantees around that, like the donors going to pass screening and that you are going to have embryos to actually transfer. So that's that first step.
00:13:06
Speaker
And then once those embryos are created with, Us at egg donor and surrogate solutions, you're going to complete a profile and you're going to talk about what's most important. So what type of relationship do you want with that GC? Are you particular on where she lives? How do you feel about vaccination and termination? And what do you want a delivery to look like? And so we are actually matching based on matching factors because to us, we want you to have a good relationship. We want this to be a positive experience. So at egg donor and surrogate solutions, we're not a one for one. So we don't take any money upfront either.
00:13:40
Speaker
And so most of our families were able to match between six months and 10 months, but some we match in three weeks. So we're actually matching based on preferences of each individual party. And so once you're matched, then you're going to go through the legal process and then you'll be ready to transfer.
00:14:00
Speaker
So, you know, from, If someone's like, how long is this going to take? You could probably pick a donor and have a match, you know, somewhere around nine, 10 months. If all those things fell line.
00:14:15
Speaker
It takes more than love to create a family. It takes compassion, courage, and connection. At Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, we've spent more than 18 years helping hopeful parents, surrogates, and egg donors create happy families through egg donation and surrogacy, one relationship at a time.
00:14:33
Speaker
Our team has been there. Many of us are former surrogates, egg donors, and intended parents, so we truly understand this journey. If you're ready to take the next step, visit createahappyfamily.com to apply today.
00:14:47
Speaker
All right. Let's get back to the show. How about picking a donor and a ex-surrogate, a donor and a surrogate at the same time? And intended parent wants to proceed and select and find both of them at the same time. They can, it's just harder because surrogates are less likely to commit to moving forward with a family when they don't understand the timeline.
00:15:09
Speaker
So if you don't have embryos yet, they don't know, are they going to get embryos? Are they to have enough for multiple transfers? With our program, it just typically doesn't work in that way, but you're not any more or less likely to get matched because you start the process the day after you get your embryo, since we are not a list.
00:15:26
Speaker
Now there might be agencies that if if you're on a list and they tell you, like I was talking to one of our intended parents, he used another program before us and it took him five years from start to finish, over three years to get matched. He had given an agency money and he was just waiting on the list.
00:15:43
Speaker
And with us, we matched him. And I think it was like five weeks we matched him for his second journey. So he was a single male. And so they were not able to match him because he was like,
00:15:54
Speaker
number 80 something on the list. And so it took over three years. Where with us, what he was looking for, we had, and we were able to match and they move forward. And he had a baby in 18 months with us. So five years on his first journey, 18 months with us.
00:16:09
Speaker
Wow. So when it comes to timeline, start especially because if things don't go perfect, they can take a little longer, right? What would be the fastest way for this timeline to explain to an intended parent?
00:16:24
Speaker
Like what is the fastest timeline that someone can if everything goes. um That's a good question. Start to finish from embryo creation all the way to having a baby.
00:16:37
Speaker
You need at least 20 months. Good. That's and good information to know. That would be a good cycle. I would prepare closer to 24. um If I could note something next to me, but you're, you know, you're four to five months on embryo creation and then you're four to five months on screening a GC.
Building Relationships and Managing Expectations
00:16:56
Speaker
So you're at month 10 if everything works perfectly and then she needs to be pregnant.
00:17:01
Speaker
So that would be tight. I would say two years. Can I, can I revise my answer and say two years? one one hundred percent should be If you got it quicker, that would be awesome. But someone should be prepared for two years from embryo creation to a delivery of a baby.
00:17:17
Speaker
That is amazing information because sometimes I believe that sometimes it's hard to explain that the system is not linear, right? And you think the steps are like that, but you can see that you have the eggs and then you create the embryos, you get the surrogate, then you need another egg cycle. So when and do you think is suggested to advise the intended parents to practice patients the most in the journey? I think when waiting for that match.
00:17:43
Speaker
Probably like waiting for that surrogate match because you want to have a good experience with that person. And like your egg donor, your surrogate are a part of your child's story. And you, I mean, most people would like that to be a positive story. And so finding the right person that that journey can look how you want and that delivery can look how you want. I feel like is more important than super fast having six months sooner. Your child will not know the difference if they were in this world six months earlier. And so I think waiting for that good match and then everything in this process can just feel like hurry up to sit around and wait. Oh, I selected my donor. Great. Now i'm waiting on my clinic to schedule that initial appointment. Okay, great. Now I'm waiting for that genetic results to come back. Okay. Now, now we are waiting through this legal process. So everything we tell families and donors and surrogates, everything feels like hurry up to then sit around and wait. So it's like, okay, let's go, let's get this piece done. And then we're going to wait until results come back or next things come back before we hurry up to then sit around and wait again.
00:18:51
Speaker
Yeah, one of the things that I touch the most is that same-sex males and solo dads do not go through hormones, right? They go through paperwork. And most of the the things to me, I try to use analogies. And one of the most analogies that click the most with Internet Parents is like when you're surfing and you they train you how to ride the wave, but they don't train you. There's like waiting in between waves.
00:19:15
Speaker
And waiting is an active form of the process too. It is. And there's so much that can be done in the waiting though. Like there's so much education that can be done in the waiting. you know, we we have some videos and some platforms that help families. Okay.
00:19:30
Speaker
You know, once you're pregnant, we're not going to make a birth plan until, you know, 26 weeks, but there's a lot of things that we can be talking about in the meantime. Do you want your surrogate to pump for you?
00:19:40
Speaker
Is that even reasonable? How much does shipping breast milk cost? When I personally, when I was a surrogate, I carried for a family that lived about five hours from me. And they were like, we just cannot like shipping breast milk is really expensive. But at our agency, we had a same sex male couple that lived still far, but they were like, we do want breast milk and their GC wasn't willing to pump. And I had. the baby I was carrying three days before. So I ended up pumping for them. So like we were having those communications and we were talking through those things before their baby was even here and making those plans. So there's lots of things you can be researching. and
00:20:18
Speaker
That's amazing. Do you think that actually came from you as a surrogate or do you think that was part of the agency that you were in the internet parents education? So I think as an agency, they shared, you know, the difference in what this looks like. I think as parents, they decided they wanted breast milk and then the agency helped facilitate that. So then the agency and and we would ask, okay, they're interested in breast milk actually. Now we talk about that at a matching process, but they would like breast milk. And the GC said like, I do not want to pop. Like, to be honest, pumping is awful. And she was like, i don't want to pump.
00:20:53
Speaker
And so they kind of looked at who's around and the agency called me and said, Hey, are you, are you pumping for the family that you're caring for? And I said, no, they don't want me to pump. they said, would you be willing to pump? And I said, yeah, sure. And so we actually delivered at the same hospital. It was so fun. Like the day I was being discharged, I got to go down and meet their little girl. And then when they were discharged two days later, I met them.
00:21:14
Speaker
Gave them the breast milk that I had and then we shipped it out. So and there was an ongoing conversation of how much milk did they actually need and when we stopped. But and the agency helped to navigate that part as well.
00:21:25
Speaker
That's amazing. that show that That shows one of the most important part of it that is a ah very loving and caring and selfless act of helping another family because you didn't even give birth to their kid. And here you are willing to pump for them because the other intended parents didn't want breast milk. So that right there is amazing. So you said something very important. You said that you now talk about breast milk in the matching part. So give me A little bit of the process of a donor selection and a little bit of the process of the surrogate selection of things that you see yourself repeating constantly that most net parents don't think about it. Because in my case right now, I wouldn't even consider talking about breasts know unmatching.
00:22:14
Speaker
Yes. So from an egg donor perspective, I think most people come to the table very interested in physical characteristics or hobbies. They're really laser focused on genetics in picking somebody. And I always remind people that we're creating tiny humans through this process. And where where does this donor, I said it earlier, like where does this donor fit into your child's story? So Do you want your child to have access to this donor? Do you want to know this donor? Do you want to be able to ask her questions beforehand? Or do you just want to make sure your kiddo can ask, you know, hey, did she have curly hair? Or, you know what, I i really like playing the piano. did Did she like playing the piano? You can see some of those things, but then some people are just curious about things. So,
00:22:59
Speaker
I spend a lot of time walking families through that. we Our program actually has a known egg donor program, and that has been built mostly out of our same-sex male couples or single dads by choice who say,
00:23:11
Speaker
you know what, I feel like this is going to be really important to my child one day. And more than just, I met this person, she was really kind and we're grateful, but what is that information? So we're helping through that. We're also reminding people that genetics are a component to this, but nature versus nurture is like really a real thing. So just because that donor went to, you know,
00:23:33
Speaker
Yale doesn't mean that your child will go to Yale or just because that donor didn't have additional and higher education it doesn't mean your child won't go into higher education. So we try to put both of those things into perspective when we're selecting that end donor between health history and some of those things. So I think families are laser focused on genetics and we're trying to talk about a relationship and a long term story. as well as where those genetic components and where the nature versus nurture comes into play.
00:24:04
Speaker
That's amazing. And for the surrogate? So for surrogates, I think that families are ready to get going. So they're like, we'll we'll take anybody, a uterus, let's move forward. And we're usually circling back to those other things. we We hope that everything goes smoothly, that She gets pregnant on the first transfer and everybody delivers at 40 weeks, you know, vaginally with no complications and everything is fine. But the truth is that's, that's not always the reality. And so, you know, we have mutual friends that have babies in NICUs and that had to travel across state lines. And so having some of those conversations are really important and understanding where do each parties fall if
00:24:49
Speaker
you know there's a diagnosis in utero and a hard decision might need to be made or do they want to come to every single ob b appointment is that going to work for a gc you know i do say sometimes like when i was going through this process i was a small business owner i had three small kids of my own so i wanted to be matched with somebody that i could have a relationship with and honestly we are a million times closer over 10 years later than we were during that journey and so i was just like I can't have every single OB appointment at 1.30 on a Tuesday. Like I need an OB appointment at 7.30. And so being matched with somebody that like you're kind of aligned on what that looks like. And then we have GCs that are like, I want to go to an OB appointment and then we're going to go to lunch. And those are expectations that are going to be set. So we talk about those in the matching process. What is this journey going to look like? what What are the expectations for delivery? Who's going to be in the room? Are you comfortable if your GC has a Like I was going to have a C-section. Some people aren't crazy about matching with a GC that they know is going to have a C-section. I knew it.
00:25:56
Speaker
It worked out great for us. So those things are important. Breast milk is another factor. You know, what is that communication on ongoing going to be? Trust is important that that's built through that process. And I think everybody builds trust in a different way.
00:26:12
Speaker
Yeah, i feel like I feel like we have evolved so much in this industry to go from almost like falling on full trust to now having both parts. Now, of course, we have now a lot a lot of information, not always the right one, but now you have the internet parents and you have also the surrogates who are starting to be educated. And as you said before, that they want to know the timeline before they get matched and that trust now is co-salon, not just with just following and just waiting, but also with a relationship that you build and foster and create with the surrogate and the intended parents.
Cost Structure and Agency Red Flags
00:26:50
Speaker
And you said something before that you do not take payments up front.
00:26:55
Speaker
How, guide us with you guys, with egg donor and surrogate solutions, what what is the cost process that it will make the journey for the internet parents to understand. The overall cost?
00:27:10
Speaker
No, not not not in fact the the steps of the cost. Like what would be the best way to describe to the lint internet parents the cost process so they can understand in the gu in the timeline? Okay, so um you know you have the embryo creation piece and then you're gonna move into the surrogacy piece. So I can speak from our perspective and our agency fee is split up into three payments. So we take a payment when families are matched, then when contracts are complete, because that means everybody's done and cleared and we're all in the same space there. and then at heartbeat confirmation. And so many families, they are making, and and so for us, they're making financial commitments at those stages. For us, we're putting you know that in escrow along with, for us it's another $30,000 that we know is just going to cover those extra phases. And then at contract time, we require any costs, hard costs that we know are going to be required. So that's the GC's compensation, her insurance and if there's anything that we know is going to happen at the end, lost wages, if we know she's getting a standard six weeks.
00:28:12
Speaker
And then um typically there's nothing at heartbeat confirmation. But then at 30 weeks, a good agency is going to give you a financial picture. So at 30 weeks, we look and we say, OK, how much is left here? Because did this take three transfers to get here or, you know, was this one? And so there's plenty. Hey, what do we expect these medical bills to be? What do we expect the lost wages to be? Is she going to be pumping? Is there a cost associated with that? So we would go back to a family at 30 weeks, not when they're needing to be home enjoying their baby. and say, hey, here's an outline of the fees that we expect moving forward. These need to be placed for us in a third-party escrow account. Funds are not placed with us. Funds are not placed with an an attorney, but rather a third-party escrow account um where those funds are safe and secure. So when their baby comes, like they're already financially prepared and they can just be home, loving their baby, taking care of their baby, and all the financial parts will be taken care of.
00:29:09
Speaker
This is amazing. The level of transparency is great. and And that makes me feel like the biggest question that we normally get is what would be like the red flags and the green flags. In your case, which one do you think is more important to highlight? Surrogacy or ectonation? When people go in through an agency, what should they be careful of as ah red flags and green flags to go with them?
00:29:33
Speaker
If they are the cheapest option out there, for me, that's a red flag. If they say we have a ton, because for me, that just means they're quoting you on the bottom end of that spectrum. I mean, even for us in egg donor travel, they'll be like, really, you're going to ask for that much? And I say, I would much rather give you $2,000 back than have to ask you for $2,000. And so if they're just the cheapest option out there by a lot, That to me is a huge red flag in egg donation or surrogacy. If they say we have a lot of surrogates available, you should wonder why. um i heard at a conference that there's one surrogate for every 2,500 families that are waiting. If you go to an agency and they're like, we've got slews of surrogates, I would wonder,
00:30:16
Speaker
Why don't they have families that are interested in those surrogates, which for us, that would mean they're probably not getting referrals from almost all of our families come from fertility clinics who say yes to working with us. So if you go to an agency and they have a bunch of surrogates, that to me would be a red flag. They might be matching you with someone that's less qualified or maybe not qualified at all in order to move
Overcoming Challenges and Support Systems
00:30:41
Speaker
forward. So I think timing and cost, if it's exactly what you want to hear, it might be a red flag moving forward.
00:30:49
Speaker
Wow, that's amazing. And when people are looking for this process and they tend to feel stuck, What is best advice you can give in terms of parents that are starting to feel stuck to move forward in the journey of surrogacy? I think education. Sometimes just in life, we feel stuck when we don't know what that next step is or we don't know what to expect. So either connecting with people like through your network that are learning about this, heading into some of these great conferences where you can hear experiences of other people, checking out podcasts, just checking learning where those next things are because i think people often feel alone in this process and need to know that there really are a lot of people that are journeying through this. And so I think when you seek that education or talking to an agency, it helps you feel that that you're not alone. And then you can find out what that next one right next step is. Because it doesn't, like you said, it doesn't have to be this bit. it It is this long journey, but like, what's just that next right step and find somebody who you can partner with for that next step. That dive did go deeper a little bit on when people say the most people feel alone, because I always feel sometimes that if we're all alone, they were all together at that. And sometimes communication is key. What are the steps? What are the parts that you feel that people feel the most alone? I think in those weights that we talked about before or, or like,
00:32:13
Speaker
how are we going to financially pay for this? Like how families tell me that all the time how do people do this? And there's lots of ways that people do it, but I think that's the first initial because most people grow up feeling like you're not going to have to spend 150 to $200,000 to have a baby. And so once that becomes a reality, that is a little bit harder.
00:32:34
Speaker
And so I think in those waiting times to seek that part, those educational pieces would be helpful. Wow, that is that is amazing. And as a last question to wrap this up, because the process seems a lot and it's a journey that, as you said, but at least two years to have a peace of mind. If you can simplify the process, how can you simplify it in a way that somebody would feel encouraged to go through?
00:33:01
Speaker
oh Find a great physician that you can partner with to create those embryos. Find an agency that's going to help you through the decisions that need to happen for an end donor.
00:33:12
Speaker
Even better if that agency can then walk you through that surrogacy journey. And then you still need a team of escrow attorneys and mental health. And so, but a great agency should help facilitate that part as well.
00:33:27
Speaker
Wow, that is amazing. Well, thank you, Katie from egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions. And we will have all your information in the bottom so people can find you and and reach you. Where are you based?
00:33:39
Speaker
We are based in Texas, but we work with families all over the world. and All over the world. Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you. Appreciate you. Bye.