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men caring for men nov, 25 2024
12 Plays4 days ago
Take time to stop and smell the roses with us. Lets talk about it.
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Transcript
Technical Difficulties and Music Discussion
00:04:11
Speaker
This is my thing
00:04:51
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That's such a good freakin my song isn't working. Oh, God, really? I mean, I have to exit out. I'll be back. My sound is all right. No worries. No worries. blaze We'll see you here in a sec. Oh, Chaka, what's up, man? Benji. But anyway, that is that is by far my favorite song that we have in our in our arsenal here. That was I just want to feel better by jewels and the how.
00:05:21
Speaker
But ah it is Monday night. Welcome to Men Caring for Men on the Nonsense School Network. My name is Connor. Blaze will be back up here in a second. um If you haven't yet, go check us out on all social medias around Facebook, X, Twitter, whatever the heck you want to call that. Instagram, all the fun things. Go check us out. Click bio dot.link slash nonsensical network. Give us a like, give us a follow. And if you would be so kind, give us a share, tell your friends about us. And we would love to have you up here.
Social Media and Gender Panel Plans
00:05:55
Speaker
Comment section is always open. I am going to go ahead and drop the link. We do have an open panel. ah We prefer to keep it as men, but call it X Twitter. ah But we do welcome one and all to come join in the conversation and add two add to the interesting things that we speak about. Blaze, do you have audio?
00:06:21
Speaker
I do, my audio is working out. I always appreciate a woman's perspective on things. I agree. And actually that's interesting that you brought that up. I'm putting, I'm trying to start putting together things for having a show on Monday night where the significant others in our lives, I don't know if it plays as one or not, um but the significant others in women in our lives come up here and talk about
00:06:53
Speaker
Go ahead. What? No, I am a bachelor. I am. I am no significant other except riding lefty. Oh, you actually use lefty? That's impressive. Or do you just do it once? Ambidex anyway. It feels like a mommy's doing it if I use my left.
00:07:13
Speaker
um but But yeah, i' I'm trying to put together something where we have some women come up here and talk about how the men in their lives, their mental health affects them and the people around them, instead of only hearing from our perspective. I think that'd be cool. It's too slow in the process. i I feel that Benji. I feel that. It definitely delays my my two to five minute timeframe to like 10 to 20 and I'll have that kind kind of time.
00:07:45
Speaker
A little bit too busy. Blaze, how's your week been? Good. I finally, I don't know if you already covered the merchandise. I did not. Why don't you tell them where they can they can find it? Honestly, I always forget. Yeah, um it's on. I have to bring it up, but I just wanted to point out my hat finally came in.
00:08:07
Speaker
Check it out. Oh, shit. I didn't even realize that's what that was. Yeah. So you can get yourself a hat just like this. A nonsensical dash nonsense dot my spread shot dot com backslash. Get yourself a hat. A hoodie winner is coming up. It is definitely hoodie season.
00:08:33
Speaker
And good, lookingia sir. You're darn tootin', we've got a whole lot more merch on that on that shop. We got hoodies, we got hats, we got t-shirts. I don't know if we have like anything pants-wise yet. Remember guys, it is it is holiday season, so expect all shipments to slow down to about six weeks. No, seriously, about a week. This hat was about a week late.
00:08:58
Speaker
I got to say it just not here. Spread us on you at our merch store. Spread us on to you. Yes. ah Benji reminded me of his catchphrase. I had to use it. But Blaze, what's your past
Personal Challenges and Educational Struggles
00:09:13
Speaker
week been like? I always ask people how their week is. Oh, it's fucking Monday. So how has the past week? The past week was pretty good. My week he was pretty pretty chill, relaxing. It was kind of a, we had one day of sunny weather. and I spent a little bit outside and the other day was cloudy and ducky and I spent it inside watching TV. So yeah, help nothing to complain about. Nothing eventful really happened. He plays his life. He just drives around, does college stuff and smokes weed, man.
00:09:46
Speaker
pretty much. Oh, I am living. So I did. I did take a step back from college after the first semester. It was overwhelming for me. Yeah, it was um it was I was having like literal panic attacks and anxiety was through the roof roof and I kind of changed my my prescriptions. It was a little it was a little nutty nutty time, but I am better. It took a step back and
00:10:17
Speaker
No, I try I'm I'm probably not to be disappointed in myself, but it is what it is so Dude, sometimes that's what you have to do. I mean you got to listen to You got to listen listen to yourself and you have to listen to your body and what's wrong And yeah if you don't you end up in situations like that I'm uh, I'm also doing a school right now and the last like two weeks as has ramped up our our work has ramped up significantly. And I haven't found myself getting into like panicky or anxiety or anything like that. Honestly, it's been almost calming to have something to do outside of cleaning the fucking house. Yeah, i I think for me, it was a part of it being online.
00:11:04
Speaker
And being having before to force socialize someone like me to online, it's like i don't I like socializing online, but not from an academic standpoint. And it was sort of that because it was online classes, so I had to engage, not just on an academic level, but just engage with the other class as if
Travel, Work-Life Balance, and Career Reflections
00:11:27
Speaker
we were going to class today. And it was like, you have to make time for that because you're kind of graded on it. I was like, I can't, I was driving me nuts. You know, it was part of that. It was the whole isolation thing because I'm basically just on my own. And that's not, that wasn't so much the problem itself. It was, I don't know, I,
00:11:50
Speaker
maybe because I'm from a generation where classes were always inside a classroom that this online situation just was too much for me as a person to take on in an academic way. I mean, I've done correspondence before when I was in the military, but you know, I'd go to the library and do my studying. It's a different animal. Yeah.
00:12:13
Speaker
for furthering your education when it comes to that. And there was some communication issues, ah keeping in contact with the the instructors because, you know, they're supposed to get back ahold of you within like 48 hours and a lot of that didn't happen. So it was, it was just too much. So I was like, yeah, so, but yeah, it's not a problem. I'm running into an issue right now. I've got Um, for you and uneducated people like me, I just found out like few weeks ago that comp one and two are essentially the same class, but slightly different. Um, and both of them are. negative two fingers yeah just but Oh, yeah. Is is that bench? That's yes Benji.
00:12:57
Speaker
Well, I was just about to say I do do physical activity, but it's also meant it's a mental thing with me from other other stuff. What is that noise? I think that's here, man. Yeah, that's just you get some. um Some help for this guy. Get you that WD 40 big man. Yeah, that's what it sounded like. Benji, it's good to see up here on a Monday night, dude. I think is this a first?
00:13:26
Speaker
Uh, possibly and maybe I've done one more. I can't quite remember. and I don't think, I don't think you've ever been up here while I've been on here. I should say maybe maybe one time, but I can't quite remember. I prefer to keep you guys guessing when I'll come up. I'll take it man. It's, it's good to, it's good to have you on.
00:13:46
Speaker
Yeah. I always look forward to seeing you on Jeff's garage if there's ever Jeff's garage. Yeah. If there's ever another episode, he said there was going to be something on the 28th. I'm waiting for him to send me something. So I don't, I just wanted to take a little swipe at Jeff. Sorry about that. when I kind of disappeared when I was traveling from Charlotte or Raleigh to Charlotte to Atlanta, Atlanta. Oh yeah. You were on the road working. I feel like I kind of, I kind of pulled, I kind of pulled the, Hey, let's not do that so much with the company. I said, you know, that's, you know, because between Charlotte, dude, it's, it's seven and a half to eight hour drive. And it's not fun, man. It's not fun from Charlotte to Raleigh.
00:14:38
Speaker
No, no, no, from Raleigh to Atlanta. Sorry. Oh, i I was, I was like, listen, dude, I used to live in South Carolina. That took you seven hours. You might need to think, think it over. So where I say that in Charlotte to where the company is, and it's in Marietta, Georgia. Um, it was just under six hours, even from there.
00:15:00
Speaker
And I say, when I go to, when I say Charlotte, I say in South Charlotte, like way South Charlotte. And it's still, it's like, fuck me, dude. That is, this is a ride. It's like, this is not fun. This is not at all what I signed up for, but you know, it's growing pains, right? With the company that you just, so that's why it's kind of why I disappeared for a little a while. It was just, it was a crazy amount of travel.
00:15:27
Speaker
Like to the point where I had to say something to the companies like, hey, we got to kind of pump the brakes a little bit. This is even too much for me. And I'm a pretty big giver to a company. I make a really good living. And even that was like, oh, come on, guys. This is even too much for me. This is way lopsided. I'm at my house who I pay a ton of money for, like less than 14 days a month.
00:15:56
Speaker
It's like, yeah, this is not cool. but yeah have you at hotel rooms and shit on the road When I go to Charlotte, no, I just take my parents' house. And and again, I try to do that for the company. I try to be as much of a company man as possible because I am... grateful and thankful ah for the money I make right so I'm just like hey you know I'll save you guys you know a few hundred bucks a month or every time we go down because I was going down twice a week that was a soft stay my parents gives me a chance to see them blah blah blah they because the house they built is the house I grew up in kind of late teenage years
00:16:33
Speaker
So I didn't stay in it very long. So, so they have all this extra room in the house that isn't being used. And and it's good because I haven't lived near my parents have gone on three years. So I've always been ah right at the three plus three to four hour mark away. So it's like, okay, if I'm going to have a couple of weeks and see my parents, cause they're, you know, they're getting into their sixties and hanging out, doing some stuff with my mom, uh, hanging out with my stepdad, he's called my stepdad has actually been on the show one time.
00:17:03
Speaker
Um, it's, it's kind of cool, but I, you know, some like, I'll do like a month to where I don't go down. Like I'm not going down. I haven't been since early November and I won't go back down until mid December. Um,
00:17:16
Speaker
so So there's breaks, but it was this travel come home for like a minuscule amount of time and then gone for seven or eight days, come home for a minute, then gone for seven, eight days. It's like, fuck this. I was like, this is too much. So, so I just kind of had to push stop on the, um, the Jeff's garage. It was just, I wasn't in one place long enough to say, Hey, I consistently do this.
00:17:41
Speaker
and i've I've actually tried doing the show from the car one time just to see if it was practical and it's really not. No, it's tough man. Yeah. Cause I'm, I'm dealing with hotel internet and it is, it's terrible at the very best. so i used to A little lag from, I'm getting a little lag on my side. So apologize. on my behalf Yeah, I'm not running into the issues. I think, I think it's on, it's on my side. Yeah.
00:18:12
Speaker
But back when ah back when Glick did Monday nights and Wednesday nights by himself before, it when it was just Jeff and Glick, I would come up on Monday nights or Wednesday nights back when we were in El Paso and I would just talk to Glick while I was in the car or something or driving around.
00:18:29
Speaker
I'd just be on my phone. I wouldn't even use my laptop. And the difference between like that and sitting down in an office by myself with my laptop and decent internet most of the time, God willing is it's night and fucking day. Sure. But I mean, it really takes the fun out of texting and driving though.
00:18:53
Speaker
It's not, it's not fun unless your life is at risk. Correct, correct. So usually I try to drive in the center lane, closing my eyes while speeding. That's why you belong on Jeff's garage.
Career Progression and Achievements
00:19:05
Speaker
Because you guys are perfect for each other. Yep, yep, yep. Cool, cool. awesome Benji, I mean, I feel like we just got a lowdown on the past couple of months. how has How's your week been?
00:19:19
Speaker
Pretty mellow, man. because i So so kind of what I do, I am GM of cross-space operations for north carolina for North Carolina, which includes Raleigh and Charlotte. And I kind of sort of slightly took over Atlanta.
00:19:34
Speaker
um But I don't go to that. I just did the one trip and then I was like, that's got to be done. I can't be over three areas when my pay didn't go up in the workload added more. like that ah that doesn't That doesn't make sense. However, I'm still over Atlanta because I send my crew there and I have to answer any and all questions and solve problems immediately. Right. Um, so, its so not the workloads been pretty good because I don't really do installs because I've been doing this stuff for.
00:20:06
Speaker
it's at this point, it's double digit years. year old yeah I'm getting there. I'm trying my best to get there, right? Because when you stay the same is when there's an issue. no Yeah, so so I'm trying to get there. so So the workloads pretty well. I hung out with the owner today, and we just looked at a bunch of warehouses, and I went and fixed a plumbing leak real quick, and came home and just cracked open a cold beer by two o'clock. So no complaints. You see this paycheck here? yeah It'd be really cool if there was another zero there. You know what's so funny? January 2nd, there's going to be another zero there.
00:20:42
Speaker
hell yeah nice i negotiated that in and then my wife is going to get a significant raise she worked for the company as well so so her and i worked for a 24 million dollar company and then we went out on our own and then we ran a company that was a couple million bucks so this company was like hey i need you to come and run all of our stuff for us that's on my side and uh And then I came in and what they were doing and what they were, they were doing about two cross places a month and we're doing about two cross places a week. So that's, that's a significant uptick in production. Yeah. So, so I'm all about efficiency and running as lean as possible. And they're like, well, we're cool breaking even for a little while. So we're going to pay you a boatload of money and you can keep doing whatever you're doing.
00:21:37
Speaker
I mean, if you need an assistant, I love the Carolinas. Pretty good week so far, yes. only a fewque If you need a photographer for any reason, let me know. and Or security specialist. You're way up, you're up north, right? you're like so I'm in Kentucky. um he's He's more southern than I am. I'm actually from Kentucky. I was born in Kentucky.
00:22:03
Speaker
morning I think we've talked about this where you're on the Lexington side of the Kentucky, right? All the way on the river. Oh, I love Lex. Okay. Lexington's good. Same hospital as George. Uh, no, no, no, no. Who's the, who's the big actor? cloing Same hospital as him. That's where Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lawrence. No, no, George.
00:22:32
Speaker
I thought you were going to play Jared Floyd. I was like, well, it's an interesting thing. It's a person to go off. It's actually surprising enough.
00:22:41
Speaker
go ahead got and as i say there's actually There's actually a few celebrities that are from Kentucky. Jennifer Lawrence being one. That's the first one that popped in my mind. So, yeah, if you need a hype man. Talk as a G, dude.
00:23:00
Speaker
We'll come on. so it's just we So speaking of Kentucky, I want to do a bourbon.
Travel Preferences and Business Opportunities
00:23:06
Speaker
done woman The bourbon trail. I've been on that. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Come on down. Fucking hit that up.
00:23:14
Speaker
Oh, it's just wild and alone i did yeah I did the gym beam. I did the maker's mark. I've been to where they do angels envy and a couple other ones. It's been a while. I've been wanting to do it again and hit some more that this was like when I, in my young twenties, the first time I hit it.
00:23:33
Speaker
And now that I'm like, you know, am I, you know, late for ease is like, I can appreciate it more now. I'm not going there just for the woo hoo. Let's get drunk. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do the Buffalo tracing. I don't really care for horses and that they're tied in with horses. And I was like, Oh, fuck that. So I don't want to do and there's the, the wellers is a really good one because they involve guns. And then, yeah.
00:24:01
Speaker
And it's like do perfect. I want to shoot as many guns as possible and then go drink. There you go. And then there's since since I went, there's a whole lot more new distilleries out over the last few couple of decades because of the rise of popularity of bourbon that I also want to go hit. Sorry, I am tongue-tied. I don't usually do Monday nights. I don't usually do Monday nights. So.
00:24:30
Speaker
Yeah, no, no, I definitely need to. I'll try to figure out how to get up. That's right. I'll get up with you and try to figure out some time to go up there when it's a ah going to be a lot less because I don't go up north at all because I'm anti-snow. I don't like cold weather. at all so some i From up there. I don't want want any part of it.
00:24:53
Speaker
Whenever Glick does a live from the axling place up in Newark, I'll go up there and do a live with him. But I told him during the winters, as soon as the snow hits the ground, I do not travel. I stay safe in my, I say, I stay safe in my area. So. I don't blame you, man. I really don't blame you. Yeah. We'll have to get up, man. Cause I definitely want to do a bourbon. I like bourbon. Buffalo trays and stuff. And the Beethoven stuff is my favorite, but, uh, Wellers is. you and third
00:25:24
Speaker
You know in the good time the best time to come up and do that is in September when they're doing that bourbon Festival and they're doing like live concerts and shit like all one fell shoot swoop. That's Yeah, i mean so it's sort of like About what it's called the bourbon bourbon and bourbon and beyond look that up bourbon and beyond I'll have to check that out. Yeah. Cause I know my brother wants to be involved in it. And, uh, my stepdad said he wants, and, uh, my stepdad has a buddy from, uh, Italy that, uh, he, he likes to do freaking things. And, uh, we can definitely go out there and have a quite a good time. Oh, absolutely. Does he still live in Italy?
00:26:10
Speaker
But you live here with his wife and I've met him a several times. I got i got a new um drive it because it's a, it's from his neck of the woods. So, uh, I just, I just got down in the same time as he's going to be around. Um, I'm supposed to go a couple of weeks ago when I was like, that I don't really feel like driving two hours. So yeah, but yeah, I'll have to get up with you because I want to do ah and, uh,
00:26:39
Speaker
I want to shoot some guns and I want to drink some bourbon. There you go. Kentucky's a perfect place for that. If you want to suggestion make a stop in Tennessee, let me know when you're there. I've got a, I've got a buddy who's got 10. You don't have to be specific, but where are you located in Tennessee? I absolutely love Nashville. I'm not in Tennessee. I'm in Southern Indiana on the river. Okay.
00:27:06
Speaker
Okay, but my former combat medic buddy, Chase lives down in just south of Nashville, like an hour and a half south of Nashville. Okay. Southwest, because you can't go an hour and a half south without ending up in another state.
00:27:23
Speaker
his adopted dad has 10 acres out there and we went out there and we shot guns for like three fucking hours just to us and just shit. yeah You don't have to worry about frats. You should be whatever the hell you want. You just fucking pair it up. You let me know dude. When you go like south and east and a little bit like northeast, those are like fantastic fucking areas of Nashville.
00:27:52
Speaker
Like holy. There is our brilliant. I've never got a chance to really explore Nashville. I've driven through it a few times back when I lived in South Carolina. I got tired of driving 77, but.
00:28:08
Speaker
I, I, I've spent most of my time out like Collinwood, which is out in the middle of the boonies. And I just, I love the country out there where it's just, there's nothing but trees and an open space and then more trees and forests. And there's nothing to do out there other than screw around, drink and have fun and shoot guns. It's so fun, man. I was like, if you guys open, I told the owner of the company, I said, if you guys open, up Nashville or at least around that area. um I'm in to go, you know, no state income tax check. And that affects someone like me, right? And it's not like I make 15 bucks an hour. So it's, you know, huge plus, but I've done, I've done a bunch of work out in Nashville and there's so many crawl spaces in that money is crazy diverse out there. And it's, it's, it's, different place. Um, and I really, I really like it out there. Uh, there's, there's a leopardy money and people think like, when I say celebrity, they're going to think like, Oh, nationalist music. And it's like, no, no, no, like doesn't just store that there's like some really big celebrity money out there. Uh, out in central Oregon, there's a lot of celebrity money. Um, one celebrity that gets ran into quite often out there is rain Wilson.
00:29:32
Speaker
like he's got to play so it's so funny because my company for they they had a branch out in oreggan and it's so unfriendly to new businesses it didn't even last so long and they were like nope we're out like it's just at unfriendly oh they've just like they've said oregon in general they're like that word pour out because one of the owners actually lived in oregon you know hunter and fisher so he loved it out there and then he had to move over here to north carolina and was just like you know quite a big you know or not now culture shock yeah cause i think it was pretty rough on him he's been out here for almost five years now but he's just like you know there's i don't have all the honey i can do that i did over there yeah so unfriendly for new businesses you know there was just tax tax
00:30:23
Speaker
e and you know aldoors is so readily The outdoors is so easy to access also to go do all that stuff. Like where I'm at in Kentucky, like sure, there's places I can go walk my dogs, but there's no places where I can let my dogs off the leash and just go. You can't find a place like that. Like in Oregon, just about, there was so many places I could do that.
00:30:46
Speaker
and the outdoors are so much more easily accessible. it's Yeah, that's kind of, it's it's so weird because that's kind of the situation we're in. So where we live currently, Raleigh, like we live South Raleigh, um is the because we have all like a situation going on. It's like, we we want to buy about like 20, 26, right?
00:31:12
Speaker
Yeah. Because we're still new to Raleigh, and it is, oh my God, dude, this this place is brilliant. There's always something going on. Raleigh's amazing. Of course, it's the capital. So there's always something going on here. And it's I really like one town. I kind of want a little bit of an older home because I don't mind a little bit of a fixer upper because I can customize it.
00:31:33
Speaker
and But the older homes, if I live in town, they all have a little bit of land, right? They could have grandfathered into this stuff. So I could build like this, you know, like three car garage that's really tall. And I could do like a laser lifts or whatever in them. So then I can get six cars in them. Or do I go out to like, let's say like 20 to 30 minutes outside of town. Then I own a bunch of guns and a bunch of land.
00:32:00
Speaker
It's kind of like, what do I do? What do we do a cold bar we cut with that I out because I'm super big, but also really like guns. Yeah. Hmm. How come I got a yeehaw, but he didn't fuck you, Blaze? Well, no, I'm sitting here thinking I was like, where I live, I can go out. I can go out my back door and go shooting. I can go out my front door and go shoot.
00:32:29
Speaker
I said I used to live but in in a place where I could literally make and bring out my Mosin a gaunt that was always fun to shoot for about five rounds and it's like you put it up and then my air love that I used to build ak-47s but I was shooting do like no I mean it was like 48 K's a day And then I mean, it just got to the point where it's like, I really just don't feel like shooting, right? Because shooting is supposed to be fun. And I was just like, yeah, but I've shot all day long. And then with my job, I have to really be located conveniently to Tanner States.
00:33:14
Speaker
i Exactable, you know, within a certain radius in a certain amount of time. And, and and now I've just gotten the conveniences and now I'm getting into a point to where I can afford some, it's no big deal to four to $900 gun. Now I'm getting into where I can maybe afford bigger car.
00:33:37
Speaker
And it's like, okay, well, I've had the $900 guns. Maybe I, maybe it's time for me to be able to afford a six, hundred a six figure car. And they go have some fun with that and still have all the conveniences because I can't drive a six figure car. I literally drive a 2018 Chevy or GMC hundred or whatever it is.
Lifestyle Choices and Family Responsibilities
00:33:58
Speaker
That's what I sort see. being colabine There's no one power.
00:34:03
Speaker
what it pass out an impact I thought that six finger are right there yeah that's so that's the white card yeah that's like that thepaa logo that they always put on the back that back panel ah think this one from brand new was like 93 or 94,000. What is it? It's pretty cool. What's that? What is it?
00:34:28
Speaker
Oh, it's a super fun. We only drive it on the weekends. And then I also only drive my Jeep Wrangler or was it Jeep Wrangler sports every once in a while. So ah so I have cars I don't because I don't make money in them. So I have to make money in my work truck, right?
00:34:56
Speaker
So it's weird. So I figured if we live in town with all the conveniences, holy you don't drive your cars because you can't make money driving. I'm confused. Yeah. Well, because I'm always in my, my work vehicle. Yeah. Oh, I see what you know. I see what you mean. Okay. Yeah. Because you're always in it. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. yeah I was like, and why are you just driving just for the enjoyment of driving them?
00:35:25
Speaker
We go to like, we do a bunch of cars and coffees and we'll go do like, well, we don't really grocery. So we'll go to like Walmart to like, she'll be like, Oh, well a blah, blah, blah. And it's like, okay, well, let's jump in the mozzarella. And then we'll go, you know, just because my thing is, is I don't want a car setting from more than 14 days. And after 14 days, it's not like, you know what I mean? Cause cause these are high end cars and they don't do so much. They don't do.
00:35:53
Speaker
come up sometimes after sitting for so long because there's so many electronics on so my thing is is if you go to the end of the neighborhood and do a complete loop and you do a half a mile trip in it it has to be drove once every four like that that's my only kind of you know staples like this has to be done because I don't need a $300 battery yeah when you could do a little or half a mile to 48 cent in gas um sure Yeah, but yes, I don't know man. that So we got to figure out where I want to where I want to live and my wife and I are kind of figured out because we rent the place we're in. And we really like the place we live, but we have no front yard, no backyard, no side yard. We have kind of, but man, this place is really awesome. we We really like our neighbors and all that jazz.
00:36:51
Speaker
Well, that's enough about me, man. Oh, no. What about you, Connor? I love it, dude. you Yes, Connor. How's your week been? Benji's, like, already talking about what what I wanted to talk about later, man. Like, I love it. his His life is stopping and smelling the roses. I love it. But, I mean, my week has been how it's been for the last, like, couple months or so. I've been busy parenting and cleaning and doing schoolwork and putting in style. Well, now that I have a job, you know, I'm getting stuff set up to start next week and, um, you have a job. What is your other job that you have? Uh, just got a job working at the, uh, the Evansville library down here, uh, doing security for them just part time because I've got college and other shit. I got to get done. So but working for them. um What's that? What what is, what,
00:37:49
Speaker
officer do at a library? It's more so like a public safety kind of deal. So you're in charge of saying, making sure that all the AED machines work, making sure that everything's locked up, making sure that you're going to be a, what would you call it? Making sure the non-fictions and the non-fiction. That's more of a librarian job. I just got to make sure that non-fiction is fiction. Don't steal the non-fiction books.
00:38:20
Speaker
And you know, just making sure that unruly customers get the fuck out. yeah what you have to deal with the baby i think what's what's more gather from that, and this is outside of looking in, is I know you spend a you know pretty fair amount of time. I don't comment on this in the comments, but I'm always kind of like orking, right? And getting a job to the house so you can be Connor is big time, right? Cause you get to be Connor. You don't get to be husband. You don't get to be anything. You get to be a real human being. I'll have to be the cook. I'll have to be dead.
00:38:59
Speaker
I love my wife more than most things in the world, yeah but I don't have to be husband. That's absolutely right. And I mean, that's, that's why my wife was kind of against me getting a job just because I've got so, got so much college shit going on. I'm trying to get all that done as fast as I can. So I'm like, maybe I can add another class here. Maybe I can do this. yeah Maybe I can do this extracurricular on the side and join this, this group so that I can get more connections in the, in the public safety field. Um,
00:39:28
Speaker
Just like, dude, I'm going fucking crazy inside this house. I stare at the same four walls all goddamn day long and I'm losing my mind. And so having having just like a part time job where I can work four or five days a week, three days a week and do four or five hour shifts and just get out of the house and do something that I enjoy.
00:39:51
Speaker
This is huge because my my stress level since I got out of the military has gone up and up and up and up and up I gotta say this fucking for all you stay at home parents out there. I have so much fucking respect for you now Like I thought I had respect for you before but like I feel that shit My wife was a stay-at-home wife or stay-at-home mom for three years while I was in the army. And she constantly, especially while I was deployed, I'm losing my mind. I'm gonna end up on a grippy socks vacation, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, he'll be fine. You don't have to do anything all day. Like all you do is take care of the kids and go to the park and eat food. And I go do all the work. Well, now I'm staying at home and I'm like, oh shit, this is what she was fucking talking about.
00:40:38
Speaker
He gets home from work and I'm not losing him. What's that? Do you have like ADHD at all? A hundred percent, yes. See, so it was completely different. if So she doesn't have ADHD. So I have it. So it works best in chaos, right? So when there's like six problems going on. I'm solving one while working on the other. So for me to stay at home, I'm like, you you're better off taking me out back and just shooting me. like There's no there's way my brain can comprehend doing like mundane bullshit all day long. Like I have some type of
00:41:17
Speaker
chaos going on that I could immediately solve. Yep. The the the rep right and yeah the repetition is terrible. It's terrible. yeah I my kids for the same thing over and over and over again. I turn them into dishes four or five times a week. I do the laundry three times a week. I sweep the floors 12 times a day because the kids don't know how to not make a mess because they're still young. Sure.
00:41:46
Speaker
And sure um holy man, can I get something new? My wife's like, but I don't want you to be overwhelmed with college between college, being a stay-at-home dad and and trying to work all at the same time and trying to figure out all this stuff. And I'm like, I love multitasking. Let me sure let me do it give me something else to do that is as long as it's not the same repetitive thing in the same place every single day.
00:42:15
Speaker
We're good. And this is so cool that you mentioned that. So from 18 to like my late 20 warehousing, and I always got like stupid, ridiculously stupid, good at my jobs, right? I like plateaued and I hated them and I ended up quitting or ended up fucking up somehow and then I'm getting fired. And I'm like, how can I not figure out if I like something so much, why am I struggling good?
00:42:45
Speaker
that why why I just can't seem to hold it or I lose interest. So the doing is I went into construction and I got really freaking good at it, right? But what changes almost ah between one and three days is So I'm constantly doing the same thing, but at different locations.
Work Satisfaction and Relaxation Techniques
00:43:09
Speaker
Yeah. That's what changed. And and then I got really freaking good at it. Now I don't have to do the install so I can work at multiple addresses, you know, through my, through my, like my phone or my wife's computer. And I can, I can order, I can go on, I can look at pictures. So, you know, in my head, this is like the best thing possible for me. It's a lot. A hundred percent.
00:43:35
Speaker
And I worked, I worked in at Abercrombie with Glick for a little over a year and we did security and it was, it was unarmed security. I'm not like standing at the front gate like, hu but it was, it was mostly like first aid calls. There's always something going on. There's an incident report. You got a patrol, you got to deal with truckers. I mean, and yes, it's irritating, but it's irritating on a fun level and it's primarily a chill job.
00:44:01
Speaker
And so I'm like, when when I did my interview with the library, I'm like, so is this is this the only campus you guys have? Is this job position only for this campus? What does a day in the life look like? And they ran through it and they're like, well, we have seven different campuses throughout a 40 mile radius. And she's like, you will go to each one of these campuses throughout the week, sometimes throughout the day, if you're the only person on shift. And I'm like,
00:44:32
Speaker
I'll sign on the dotted line. I'm there. Like, let's, let's. I completely agree with everything you're saying. Cause my brain would be like, thank God. Yes. I don't have to stare at the same four walls. And it's like, ah so I worked for chase before I started working at Abercrombie. I worked for chase bank as an overdraft collections specialist. And that was the most miserable job I've ever had in my life, period bar none. Uh, and I was in, I was in a little fucking four by four cubicle.
00:45:01
Speaker
with 300 other people on my floor in my little quote office. And you sat there and you took somewhere between two and 400 calls a day all about the same shit. And you stare at this fucking wall and this computer for eight to 10 hours a day. i just want I'm like, dude, I don't understand how you people do this. I think I lasted like six months.
00:45:23
Speaker
and make me a suicide, unfortunately, you can do that. Like, there's no way like he's into computers. He's into, you know, to be pretty rough job, right? If I get down in it and I feel like doing an install, there's no bathrooms. There's no heat cooling.
00:45:43
Speaker
there's no there's no nothing right it's it's big in the dirt you're disgusting following on me mice following on me fucking spiders crawling on me like all the disgusting stuff and i'm like ear to ear i'm like this this is what i do and i hate it but i love it In time duty, if you told me I had to go sit in a cubicle for eight hours for one day, I'm like, you don't lost your phone. There's no possible way I would ever, ever ah voluntarily in mind and say, yes, I'll do this.
00:46:18
Speaker
i don't want any of that because it's so funny you know i take my job actually and like my ADHD kicks in it's like i gotta get this work done i gotta to get it done so quick and bla bla blah blah blah because that's some goals for myself you get that you get that hyper hyper focus that hyper fixation i'm so frightened because then i take zero on and i take like two five minute breaks all day long And if you take a lunch, I'm like, well, I have to earn the lunch, right? Like ah I can't go to work for three hours and take a lunch and then work like I'd much rather work for four hours, not take any really any breaks at all and get the fuck home. I'm cracking the cold beer, but but like one, two o'clock in the afternoon and you guys are still dicking around on a job site and all that. And like, come on, man. Like I am super competitive with myself. I'm not competitive with other people because I don't give a shit. one Yeah.
00:47:11
Speaker
I give a shit about how I hold my myself up to a standard. And it's like, yeah it's like I just, I push myself, I can go. and And I think that's done me well because I've been self competitive and not like people. And you know, cause if I'm people competitive, I'm always comparing myself to you and how can I do better to you? I'm more hyper focused on me. I have literally, I've carried myself and my family.
00:47:39
Speaker
to you know to a percentage of the Americans that that make my kind of money is is a number, right? We're getting to like the single digit numbers. And and do the and ah and I did that because i don't I have no desire to be competitive with another person because that other person doesn't live my bills, doesn't have my wife, doesn't have my kids. And I need to focus on me and making sure I do the best I can do for benefits myself and inevitably the customer first, right? Like that, that's what's, that's what's on is how good I could be for the customer. And then all that benefit comes back on me.
00:48:21
Speaker
And he's just over here with his little clickies. Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry. I was checking. I was checking an email, uh, not an email, but a message from, from somebody. I didn't know Connor stepped away.
00:48:35
Speaker
It's sorry. Wife, ah wife brought me some dinner. Oh, what does she bring you? Blackened chicken tenders with blackened ranch. I'm fucking it smells so good. Why is it? I mean, like is it mean? ah It's like. How would you describe blackened seasoning?
00:48:59
Speaker
Like I know like blackened catfish. It's the same thing, but like instead of like grilling it, it's deep fried with batter. And it's chicken instead of catfish. So chicken tenders with no breading on it. You're just frying just the sheer meat. No, no, no, no. You bread it. That just looks, that looks kind of terrible, doesn't it? It's like a flaccid chicken tender. I mean, it's just like blackened catfish plays. It's just chicken tenders. But the batter, whatever you want to call it, it has the blackened seasoning in it. And then blackened ranch is just a ranch with the blackened seasoning in the ranch. Blackened seasoning is.
00:49:52
Speaker
I don't know how to explain it. It's like a spicy, almost Cajun, but not and not as like chili pepper. It sounds like something like blackened catfish. I don't know how to, I don't know how to describe it. Dude, I'm going to have to look this up, but she's not cooking it any longer. It's the seasoning, right? No, no, no, no. It's the seasoning, correct.
00:50:13
Speaker
but I'm looking for, I haven't had these yet. She hasn't made these before, so I'm i'm excited for them. Speaking of very interrupt yeah Benji brought up a good point. He felt like, he he feels like he has to bust his ass and earn that ice cold beer. And it tastes so much better when you fucking earn it, doesn't it? I think a free meal tastes as good as a a worked for beer.
00:50:40
Speaker
But that's gonna roll into tonight's topic, which we will get to when we come back from break. I'm gonna take a little breaky poo so I can eat my food. And it's about that time anyhow, we're gonna talk about stopping and smelling the roses.
00:50:55
Speaker
I mean, you've been busting your ass. Them roses smell real damn good, but you got to remember to stuff and smell them. Benji seems like he's really fucking good at that shit. I'm not. So we're going to talk about it when we come back. We're going to have a good old conversation. It is an open panel. We're going to drop that on the lake one more time for you guys. Make sure you have your camera on if you do hop in, and we're going to ask to see like two fingers or something like that from you.
00:51:18
Speaker
Uh, and we'd love to have y'all join in the conversation. So we would be right. now Not the wing. that I mean, yeah, exactly. If we do that with your fingers, know cares but, here is James Lucard counting my days. We'll be right back.
00:55:41
Speaker
Oh, oh. Hey, we are back from break and Connor and Benji are well still on break. So we, I will go ahead and roll into a another song. um Sorry about that. Though Connor once has a topic lined up and I don't want to get off the course of that. So here is Nate's Morn.
00:59:39
Speaker
well I That was a that was a double double feature song break right there. Had a little a little food break there. I was finished way before that first song was done, but I had to take my plate downstairs. Put it in the sink so that I can wash it later. My wife goes, hey, do you want some more like? Yeah. But not welcome on back.
01:00:08
Speaker
It is Monday night. This is the um men caring for men show on the nonsensical network. Blaze, tell them what they can find and where they can find us. They can find us will go to bio link and you can find us all there. I'm trying to find the banner. Leave me alone. There you go. But nonsensical network. Yeah, I don't have that shit memorized. I do know I need to update it with our Discord.
01:00:40
Speaker
other. I'll be honest, I'm I'm such a bad host slash co host slash member of this network because I don't like I don't even have to log into half this shit. It's like, so what do you mean this? Why? Well, I can't please don't forget to go check out our merch on the spreadshot.com site, nonsensical dash nonsense dot My spreadshot dot com. Get one of these cool fucking hats just for yourself. and Spread us on you. Spread us on you. And that's that's such a good that's such a good sound. I need to get I need to get Jeff. I need to get a sound bite of Jeff doing. He says it the creepiest. He does. Spread us on here.
01:01:26
Speaker
and
01:01:30
Speaker
with some mustard. But welcome on back guys. It doesn't look like we got a whole lot of listeners right now, but we're going to keep on going with the conversation. Um, we were talking about stopping and smelling the roses or the flowers or what have you in your life.
Living in the Present and Finding Peace
01:01:49
Speaker
And obviously that is, that is a metaphor. Although if you enjoy smelling flowers, you might want to stop and smell some actual flowers.
01:02:00
Speaker
Surely, I'm going to start by asking you a question. Yeah, those those flowers in your life, what are they for you? They are a nice little escape from the mundane. And, you know, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I use weed to escape reality sometimes. I use it for other things, too. But yeah, it's it's the flowers I stop and smell. I ah But, you know, not just weed. I love doing nature walks and sopping and just not so much smelling the flowers, but just taking it all in and in and looking into the trees and then seeing something different every time. You're lucky it's a Monday night. Why is that? Nothing. Just I'm glad and you like to bring it all in.
01:02:53
Speaker
Fair enough. I didn't even catch myself doing that. Oh, these flowers are different. I knew that one of your flowers was weed. And that's an actual flower. too Yeah, that is a flower. Very botanical. ah Benji looks like he's eaten over there. So we'll we'll let him him do that. No, you're good. You just okay. Yeah, I'm good. I'm eating and participating. Yeah, what are your flowers in life, man?
01:03:25
Speaker
Man, my flowers is probably cars, right? Cars and probably non-flower is the cigar. like That ah rack open the humidor and then fire it up, um but not to an actual flower would be going out and having a walk.
01:03:49
Speaker
right, slowing it down to where I can kind of think of one thing at a time, kind of think about a stressful situation, try to work ahead, or just just getting a little bit of exercise or at least in some endorphins, because I really focus heavily on work.
01:04:08
Speaker
And kind of a walking man is kind of it' kind of much with my wife. It's still like mine and her time. We're able to just communicate as husband and wife and not tied in or kids tied in. We get to kind of goof around, flirt, you know, be kind of playful with one another, and you know, her and I time. um Walking is so underrated for people who like you guys have no clue how good it is if you do not walk. It is amazing.
01:04:38
Speaker
it has and It has probably almost nothing to do with the walking if you're with someone. It is just that we're just going and we're communicating with human beings. Yeah, i get you get the the you and her time, man. i don't I don't know if you have kids or not, but God damn, I get.
01:05:04
Speaker
if Jesus, I mean, my goodness. That's a good number. I stopped at three. I can't have any more, thank God.
01:05:17
Speaker
Oh, so you've got two and she had three and then you guys, you guys had a, okay. That makes, that makes you a little more sane. but Not that there's anything wrong with people who have five kids. Go forth and multiply and all the things. I don't care that they're bad for the environment. They're good for the people.
01:05:37
Speaker
um Yeah, man. Dude, I've got three kids. And to have that that one-on-one time with my wife and, I mean, my mother-in-law come over and she'd be like, just just go go eat go on a dinner date. I don't care what you guys go do, but go do something just you and Nikki.
01:05:55
Speaker
And we'll go and I mean, we'll go for a hike. We'll go for a walk through, uh, one of the nature paths, excuse me, one of the nature paths that's around here. Um, and or we'll go out to top golf, on which I haven't done in a while, but, um, you know, we just, we find something to do to get away from the, the chaos of the kids and be us and be that, that couple that nine years ago started dating.
01:06:22
Speaker
I don't know that I really remember how to flirt anymore. I'm just like, Hey, boots. Um, and that's, that's the extent of my flirting, but it's, it's good to have that one on one time without, Hey dad, Hey dad. Hey mom, mom, can I have a snack? Can I do this? Can I do that? But.
01:06:40
Speaker
Jesus yeah and that that's pretty much my that's my flowers too man is like Blaze said and and Benji says those nature walks going out I love to hike um back before my before my back took an absolute shit um yeah I used to go uh climb the mountains out in New Mexico and I absolutely love doing that I'd do it every every every other weekend Uh, I go out there with a couple of buddies and I just forget about everything about life. I would just stop and look at how beautiful the world is and can be. And it's like step back. It's almost like, you know, you're seeing the pictures of the dudes on the moon looking back at earth. And they're like, God damn, we are so small. All these fucking problems that I have are so small and everything is so beautiful. And we just fucking forget it because there's so much chaos going on in the world.
01:07:34
Speaker
So yeah, yeah, I agree that that saying stop and smell the roses. I think it has that has something to do with, it you know, stopping and distressing and taking in something that's more joyful than stressful. um But I think it's also sort of like, I mean, not so much a virtue, but something, you know, hey, be patient life, even though life's coming at you like 100 miles an hour, you know, it's,
01:08:04
Speaker
Just be patient. it'll You'll get there when you need to. Yep. Yeah, but, you know, text three emotional we all mentioned going into nature, doing things that are more one. right and And what you just said is slowing down. I mean, that's exactly what we're reverting. Like, like mentally or, you know, ah biologically is saying, this is what you need to do to kind of have a small reset.
01:08:33
Speaker
is It's trying to, you know, take the chaos and all the noise down to one and kind of and so we can kind of just get a little bit of a mental reset. That's it seems like all of us, you know, ah reverted back to nature. and I mean, you have to take that back to that's where we is nature and getting centered again.
01:08:56
Speaker
Yes. And you know what, I think you're right. um I think default wise, I think a lot of us do go to nature, but it's, I mean, you can do it while you're sitting there watching, watching a TV show or a movie, instead of like playing around on your phone, sit down, pay attention to what you're watching, listen to the words, the the written words being spoken and the way that the scene is set up in the movie, how things are placed in the background, just soak it in and pay attention and don't get distracted by stuff on the peripheral. So that's, that's one thing that I try to, I try to do that like once a week with my family. Um, and it's hard because but you know, family, family of five and
01:09:42
Speaker
I love my kids, but they can get annoying. So it's hard to how hard to tell them to to turn. I try and have everybody turn off the all the electronics. You know, put your phone in your, tell my wife, put put her phone in her pocket. I put my phone in my pocket. I'm not getting it out unless somebody calls me and someone's dying. Turn the TV off, turn the video games off. Let's just be a family for a little bit. Let's just enjoy each other. Cause my kids aren't going to be this age again.
01:10:06
Speaker
And I'm not going to be in this phase of my marriage with my wife again. This is eventually going to phase out into something new and I'm not going to be able to turn back time to it. So let's stop and let's, let's enjoy it. And so like, yeah, it doesn't have to be nature. Nature is just a great way to do that. ah opinion I'll just fucking love nature. Everybody's different, different strokes, different so smaller, right? At the end of the day.
01:10:31
Speaker
because there's so much going on in nature. And it's just like step back and take a look at all of nature that's going on around you. And and I agree with you with your phone. Walk with my wife or anything.
01:10:44
Speaker
The very first thing I do is make sure I don't have my phone on me. I meet at the house. like i do I want no part of a distraction when I am with her and I am just with her. and and then And for so many people, that's the first thing they grab. And I was like, damn, but man, you're missing of kind of disconnecting, but just getting that quick little reset of, you know what? I get back, I'm going to have five text messages and two missed calls.
01:11:13
Speaker
Well, you're going to have that same amount whether you have or you don't. So, might as well just, you're going to get to it. You're going to get to it, slow down. Yeah. It's a okay, man. It is A-O-K. Live in the present, don't dwell on the past, and don't freak out over the future. Absolutely. Yeah. And it is that that taking a step back and realizing that your problems are significantly smaller than they seem.
01:11:42
Speaker
And I use that example of like, you know, the the moon landing and everything or conspiracy theorists to say otherwise, but you know, getting back, getting this the ability to step back and see that the world is so much bigger than what you see on a day-to-day basis.
01:12:00
Speaker
And when I go walking in like the woods and stuff, I get to see it seed animals. I get to see trees. I get to see that there's other life out there than what I see on an everyday basis. There's more out there than just me, my wife, and my kids. What did I just do? And I don't know. What the fuck did you just do, man? I don't know, man. You guys, my stream, that y'all are all the whole screen is black. I can still hear and see you. you So I think it's just your laptop then.
01:12:32
Speaker
Definitely my laptop. Yeah, I don't think that's an error thing buddy. I think that your laptop may have had a Stray beer spilled on it or maybe uh, oh, oh no weed cigarette put out on it I don't know Well, bible is But I mean that's that's the whole point of it though is to to stop take take a step back and yes de de-stress and find that mental mental and and emotional equilibrium but the The objective is also to say you're not the only fucking thing on this earth. Your problems are not the only thing going on in in life and life will continue to go on with or without you if you don't stop and slow down and realize that then you're just it's all gonna fucking pass you right by.
01:13:22
Speaker
man, I couldn't agree more. So my favorite thing to do is when I'm out, cause I lived on the coast and I live here in Raleigh. And fortunately for, for myself, I live, I live near a pretty cool pond here. And when I lived on the coast, I had a lot and things like that. The one thing that always kind of stopped me on my track and I just kind of second was always watching the fish under the water. Right.
01:13:51
Speaker
it is completely tranquil, just doing their thing, living in their whole entire different world than me. And it's just stopping and it's kind of like just looking at them. And it's just like, man, they just have no clue of the world up here. And it's like, that's pretty neat.
01:14:12
Speaker
And then you just kind of call on, you know, happy in your head. That's like good for those guys. You know, they don't have to deal with bills and nothing like that. they like that's That's what I like to do is just look at the, you know, the water fowl that deal with the, you know, the water man is always, I'm not a water guy. Like I don't like swimming or anything like that, but going in and doing any, the water creatures, it's an entirely different world.
01:14:40
Speaker
it It is not a part of that all I get there have the whole the whole nother thing going on and it's like just stopping and just looking at them very tranquil to me Yeah, you like I said, I mean it's you can see that there's a there's a whole Whole part of this world that you're also in that doesn't know and or care about your existence and your fucking problems.
01:15:06
Speaker
Boy, they don't care. it It makes you feel so much smaller. Not that you're less important, but you are. You're less important than you think you are. These problems are less important than you think they are. Those problems are on your problem. And most of those, and most of the problems, really honestly, if you break it down, most of the problems, most of the time are just right now problems, right?
01:15:34
Speaker
They're not catastrophic, God, blah, blah, blah. They're just right now issues for that day. Well, I don't, okay. At the same time, I don't want to devalue problems. I mean, existing material problems people have that are quite constant consequential to their, to, to, to the impact of their wellbeing. Correct. I mean, I, I mean, like cancer is a real fucking problem that I'm not going to sit there and you know what I mean? There's, st short short short yeah.
01:16:04
Speaker
Kind of think of like general, right? Like like generally, most people don't have cancer. um And it's like, oh, what are we going to have for dinner? And people are like, oh, you know, I just stressed about, I don't have dinner.
01:16:19
Speaker
ah You know, it's just like it's a lot of stuff is just like right now problems. Oh, I need to go get gas on my car. I don't feel like stopping. There's things like that. It's kind of what I'm going for. not Nothing nothing more like fucking cancer. It's just with cancer. right I mean, that brings up. findinging another point Well, sometimes if if you speak too much in generalities, I think some things can get over lost and it it seems more devaluing.
01:16:49
Speaker
non-general, you know what I mean? Anyway, I'm i'm moving past it. I'm moving past it. You can try and move past it all you want. I'm going to play off of it because the other hand of that stop and smell the roses is, hey, you only have so long. And if you, if you forget to slow down and like I said before, enjoy the little things in life and realize that there are, there are good things going on. I mean, you can be, I can be hit by a fucking bus tomorrow morning.
01:17:19
Speaker
have nothing to do with fucking cancer. You don't know how much time you have left. And if you spend what little time you do have, because everybody's mortal that we know of fucking worried about your problems and the issues and, and this, that, and the other. I mean, one of my favorite songs of all time is live like you were dying. Yeah. Well, enjoy those, but we start dying the moment we're born.
01:17:47
Speaker
I fucking hate you sometimes. so up So no, I'm actually I really like that what you just went into right there. Because I always live each day. And I always don't feel thankful for everything I have every single day,
Balancing Work and Personal Fulfillment
01:18:04
Speaker
right? I take nothing for granted. um I've done everything I can to put my best foot forward. I have no regrets.
01:18:13
Speaker
And it' start if I die today, I'm good. Right? I've been productive. I've been a ah great husband. I've been a great dad. I did everything I was supposed to do, you know, for them. I mean, I'm human. There's there's slip ups here and there.
01:18:31
Speaker
And I try to take the time with my wife and with my kids and I take the time to do the text message and the phone calls and blah, blah, blah. It's all about trying to balance it everything.
01:18:46
Speaker
And trying to, you know, try as much as possible, of course, you're always going to slip somewhere. But if if you try to do it like a balance or and you feel personally that is a balance to you, I think that's. thats
01:19:05
Speaker
You think that's what now? I think you try to figure out what is a balance to you being able to give yourself out and being able to receive creating that balance with, you know, like with your loved ones and what makes you, you ah good work. I'm really into my work, right? Because not only do I make good money, but I'm i'm able to help families out because I do. with the mold sick. So, so I feel like I'm giving back to them. And once I give to them, then I just happened to back, which is awesome because I'm not dealing with just one person. I'm dealing with husband, wife, kids, dogs, everything that breaks in the house. It's like, man, it makes me feel really good. I just happened to be really good at a job that gives me a paycheck. Nice. And I'm able to help families out.
01:19:52
Speaker
And then I get to come home and I get to hang out with my wife and, you know, blah, blah, blah, and then I don't have young kids like you do, Connor. oh yeah arguing this is just a 16. So the one that's 17 get returned 18 in June. I've already started teaching them how to do this, enter it into a different phase of young adulthood with them. So I'm able to kind of pass some of my skills onto them. and I try to create as much of a balance as possible and to to to feel like a ah more balanced me.
01:20:26
Speaker
Because, you know, because I didn't feel very balanced before when I was called up in a warehouse. I wasn't happy. You know, I felt like walls were closing in on me. im fit and I didn't feel like I could be the best version of me.
01:20:38
Speaker
ah bla blah and then when I got out in the world, when I got out and into the world, I can go to different place and things. That's when I felt like I become a better version of me because I'm just an outside, you know, I live in a, I live in a, I don't mind saying it. I'm i'm not bragging here, but I don't mind saying it. I live in almost a half, it's like 3000 square foot. I literally use about 1,000 square foot of this. I have no desire. I don't like big houses. I don't like any of this stuff. I could live in a camper, right? My wife, like, don't. i I'm in my garage right now. I come home. I walk to the front door, get my wife on the head, pet my dog. I'm just outside. I've often thought about just getting, I said, I'm the same way. And I've often thought about getting, uh, getting one of those like short buses. Uh-huh. And clip that later.
01:21:32
Speaker
that's Have you seen the van like RVs or like the people that turn vans? Like the the forward transits and shit into their home They put like a Coleman in the back and they got a bit in the back and that's all they do is they drive around a and they live I don't know how the fuck they make money, but that shit's fucking cool. I could live in a van. I could, I need a little bit more square footage now. I got three dogs, right? You give me some, let's say you give me seven, 800 square foot.
01:22:18
Speaker
I need one bathroom, a book, and a place to sit. Dude, I'm good. I need nothing else but give me 10 acres. i want I want a house that can fit on a postage stamp, but give me tons of acres. I want play toys. exactly That's where I'm happy at. But you get people you get people like He, my son will take a one bedroom house and he would literally live in it all the time. He wants to play video games. He wants a computer. Like he wants to live indoors. Complete opposite personality is me, but we all just have to figure out what makes us and and create that balance in our life. And we'll we'll go so much further to people once we figure out what makes us happy. Right. Yeah.
01:23:08
Speaker
It's finding that took me a while to figure it out it's finding that thing that makes you take a breath and Take a moment whether it's video games, which is a big thing and or whether it's I don't give a fuck if it's watching tick-tock I think watching tick-tocks all night is fucking toxic, but to some people that's their fucking thing That's what gets them to step back and take a breath and and and realize that everything everything's chill, even though sometimes it's not. Everything's not chill sometimes. Like Blay said, I'm not generalizing. I'm not, you know, de-importing your problems and your issues and your crises, but whatever can get you to take a step back and relax and breathe,
01:23:55
Speaker
and realize that there's more to life than just the chaos and the problems is what you need to find and do, I don't know, once a week, once a day, once ah whenever you can get the chance and you have that time to spend on taking that breath, fucking do it. And if you don't know what it is, start exploring those ideas, man. And my wife is the opposite.
01:24:19
Speaker
My wife is the opposite of me when it comes to houses. I'm a lot like you, Benji. I i want a house that's like, I would be cool with like a thousand to 1500 square feet, enough space for my kids to come visit me. And then I want like a hundred acres. so My biggest, the coolest thing that I would want is is like a hundred acres.
01:24:39
Speaker
in a forest and I wanna put a sign out front that says the 100 acre woods become i'm a big Winnie the Pooh thing. I'm a nerd. But like, that's what I want because I want the space to go outside on the weekend by myself on my own property that I own, do what I want, play with my toys, shoot guns, camp with my kids, camp with my grandkids someday or by myself. I told my wife the other day, cause I was losing my mind. I was like, I'm just gonna go out in the woods of West Virginia.
01:25:08
Speaker
I'm going to hang out with the skin walkers and I'm gonna get lost for a week and I'll be back. I don't care. Because that's, that's to me, that's how I take a breath. And my wife just looked at me like, you're fucking insane. Because the her, her, her taking a breath is sitting down on the couch.
01:25:28
Speaker
doing nothing or reading or taking a nap for God's sake. I mean, some people just don't have time to do anything outside of their problems because they're so focused on their problems. It's, it's figuring out what that is. Yeah, I agree. And sometimes going out and then that you need, man, really brings clarity mentally to you so you can figure out what you just could work.
01:25:55
Speaker
and And fortunately, I have a job to where I really am. I'm out an outdoors kind of guy. It doesn't mean I'm outdoors, like complete literate everything about outdoors. But I mean, nature is me, right? And I'm a pretty happy freaking dude, like all the time. I'm super good with the flow and stuff. and Fortunately, I figured it out in my late 20s. I was like, man, this is because I probably had 50 in 10 years. And when I figured out I got into crawl space work, I've had one job in the exact same amount of time. It changed everything because I got more of what made me happy. I just happened to make some money doing it too. And it's like, and I come home, I'm a better husband, I'm a better Benji.
01:26:51
Speaker
when when when you have when you have that in your life, it's ah I'm gonna try not to hate on myself too much because I don't like doing the whole self deprecating thing. But like, since I've gotten out of the military, I've realized that I am not my best self more than half the time.
01:27:10
Speaker
And it's because I lost what I had a passion for. I lost what maybe, I don't know that it brought me peace so much as it was something that I enjoyed that I could go do every day and forget about the stressors of everything else. Obviously it came with its own, but it was it was something that I enjoyed and that I loved. And when I got out and I went from being you know, a certain person and a certain type of way to being, I'm at home with my kids all day. I see the same four walls, go pick the kids back up and then do the same shit every single day in those four walls. I almost, I don't want to say I became bitter, but it's, it's hard to be a happy and your best version of yourself, like Benji said, if you're not doing what you enjoy.
01:28:02
Speaker
If you can't find that, what's up? Yeah. Yeah. So let me ask you a question. Why not try to work at like a gun range? So I thought about doing that. That arises with its own problems, but for me personally, but for me, public safety is what I want to move into because it's one of those things that I feel like I have some form of purpose.
01:28:26
Speaker
Um, purpose is big to me. Uh, I like, I like feeling like I make some form of a difference. And I know that it doesn't seem like that, especially from the outside looking in sometimes. But when I worked at Abercrombie, we had a, we had a.
01:28:40
Speaker
first aid call quote-unquote first aid call. This lady who was out on the floor. We were working at the distribution center and this lady was out on the floor and she said her her chest hurt and all this that and the other. I was like, well, let's let's bring you back here. I put her got her on the vitals and her **** heart rate was ridiculous. Her blood pressure was like 180 over 160 and I'm like, alright, just call the **** squad. You're you're going to hospital whether you like it or not and yeah they got there and and she came back and it was the amount of, she was grateful and I felt like I made a difference in her life for that day. Whether she remembers it now, I don't know, nor do I care. But that in that moment, I knew I made a difference in her day and her life for that moment. So that's just, that's a big thing for me to feel like I'm whole, to get that equilibrium is to feel like I'm doing something that makes a difference in somebody's life.
01:29:39
Speaker
So that's there that's why it's on public safety. I really like that. i mean yeah i mean that's That's what I do, right? like I work on problems that cause issues to people, and I live in doing that, and I'm grateful and thankful for that. So I saw completely get it.
01:30:07
Speaker
doesn't matter if you worked at Abercrombie, that doesn't make a difference at all. You gotta try to maybe figure out some stuff. You know, you maybe not get, you know, 100% of that, but maybe try to find that it's fun that you like to get into. I don't know, maybe it's working at an army serve club that you know about all this stuff. You know what I mean? It could be something like, I know all about this stuff. I can educate you about all this, and this makes me happy.
01:30:37
Speaker
That's that's the way when I worked as a bartender that was a what feeling as a bartender working in dispensary.
Teaching Experiences and Career Aspirations
01:30:45
Speaker
Oh, i that was so fulfilling. That's what I heard too, man. But dealing with those customers, like those older people that's getting back into it, or they're scared, or they've never dealt with it like them coming in,
01:31:06
Speaker
me being in that that that wealth of knowledge to you know to pass on, it was like, this you know use this, if this is what you're looking for, use this. you know And you know the difference between a terpene and a flavoroid and and like the difference between sativa and indica and hybrid and you what you know just like all that stuff. And it felt good to to teach somebody that stuff. That way, they're they're their experience in cannabis isn't this scary thing because they've taken this edible and they've rocked their mind so hard that they're scared because that that happens. Have you thought about that Connor? Going in you're just knowledgeable about and you don't even realize that maybe that would make you happy?
01:31:54
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's that's kind of where I roll into public safety is I mean, I've so I call it public safety but it really it's it's quote unquote security work and public safety administration and an emergency response management and that's that's that's the field that I want to get into because That's what I've done for the last nine years, but on a, solely on a military level, everything was about security for the base that I'm in. First aid for the guys that I'm working with, teaching classes to the guy. I love teaching classes to guys because I love watching them learn and then growing too.
01:32:27
Speaker
more knowledgeable soldiers and more not knowledgeable airmen when I worked in the Air Force. it's It's having the ability to do that and see the difference that I make. And one, I'm knowledgeable about it, and two, I just love it. I love being able to talk to people and have no pressure on me to do anything other than help them. Hey, Connor, what's your age? I'm 27. 27, man, you're a young guy.
01:32:55
Speaker
I know. I hang out at the fucking nursing home on this show, dude. Every damn week.
01:33:07
Speaker
I can't tell if Benji's frozen or if he's just flabbergasted. I don't know what's going on. I think he's I think he's frozen. that's I know. I know he does it from his his mobile and it'll. It'll it'll do that sometimes. somebody is going guess phone You dumb dumb.
01:33:26
Speaker
Well, I can freeze my screen. I can just do this right here.
01:33:32
Speaker
And then just like pause my my my X split and then it just freezes me. See, I'm i'm kind of like Drax. I just sit here and I try and hold as still as I can. If I move slowly enough. Visible. Yeah, he's funny. Yeah. but But yeah, everything I To be fair, um ah while I was in the Air Force, the door knob,
01:34:04
Speaker
ding dong, plug her in. um While I was in the Air Force, I was in the Air National Guard. So, and I was ah i was a traditional Guardsman. Granted, i I tried my best to go out there as often as I could because I really enjoyed it. um But I went- Anytime, Benji.
01:34:20
Speaker
I went through nine jobs in six years trying to find what I enjoyed and what I was good at and what made me feel that little bit of happiness while I was making money.
01:34:35
Speaker
I mean, I worked at a junkyard. I worked at McDonald's. I worked in fucking, uh, I worked in glass repair where I worked at a safe light. And then I worked at a glass doctor. And then I worked for, because I was just trying to make money. I worked for chase. I worked for a fucking trash company. And then I worked at Abercrombie. And while I was working at Abercrombie, I was like, Oh, fuck.
01:34:56
Speaker
because it was it was such a chill job and like 80% 80 to 90% of the time you really didn't do anything other than write stuff on a piece of paper and look at cameras.
01:35:08
Speaker
But that, that 10 to 20% of the time where you had somebody's injured, there's, there's been an accident with a forklift. There's, you know, somebody's causing a ruckus in a place that they shouldn't be in. One of your, essentially one of your coworkers, one of the people you're trying to keep safe is having an issue because a trucker's being an asshole to them or they're threatening them. And I get to go in and make a difference. And I was like,
01:35:34
Speaker
it was It was like this paradigm shift in my brain where I was like, that's what I love. Is seeing is seeing the problem, being able to fix it, knowing how to de-escalate, knowing how to to perform the first aid or or you know set up the the precursors to a security problem. And I realized that that was what I enjoyed. And it was like, oh fuck, you like light switch. like me Like being a protector.
01:36:02
Speaker
it's it's so dumb and and nerdy and cliche and shit but I do. Well, no, I mean, I'm not saying in a in a negative way but just like somebody wants to become a cop for the good reasons. Yeah. Somebody wants to be become a cop. Well, I have to say because there's bad reasons too. I I would hate to be a cop today.
01:36:25
Speaker
I really, I really would. And I've been, I've been trying to poke and prod and convince my wife for since the moment I got out and I couldn't even work. I was like, you know, when I'm, when I'm better, you know, I think I'm going to apply for the job over the fire station that's out here. And she was like, I think you would love it, but I'm tired of you doing dangerous jobs. You're done. Yeah. So I got to figure out a different way to do it. But Like I said, I mean, before it's finding that thing that makes you calm despite.
01:36:59
Speaker
yeah
01:37:02
Speaker
But and shit i'm I'm running out of things to say here. And we lost Benji. I think we've pretty much covered this topic, man. it's um yeah It's well over an hour and a half. I mean,
01:37:16
Speaker
I'm working with cutting short, so. Yeah, I think, well, this is, this is about standard. We usually go between an hour and a half to two hours, sometimes a little over two hours, sometimes less. So it's not a big deal, but I think we had a really good conversation on tonight and I got to hang out with Benji. I never get to hang out with Benji. So it was good to see Benji up here.
01:37:38
Speaker
Thank you for ah for joining us for the for the listeners who did. Again, Monday nights are an open panel. So next Monday, if you're here and you want to join in the conversation, please do so. We always drop a link in the comments. Scroll through there, figure it out. Or if you want to join and you don't see that link, give us a shout in the comments. We'll drop it again.
01:37:57
Speaker
ah Find us over at bio dot.link slash nonsensical nonsense, we or nonsensical network, excuse me, um so it's been months and I'm still getting used to that change. We are on every social media platform, Twitter, X Twitter, Facebook, ah Snapchat, all the things, and Instagram. we We stream everything on YouTube. Come check us out, Blaze, tell us about that shop that we have online.
01:38:28
Speaker
Yes, it is um nonsensical dash nonsense at um I can never remember the. It's a nonsensical dash nonsense dot.
01:38:41
Speaker
myspreadshot.com. Grab some of our merch. Like I said earlier, winter's coming up, but these are always, always in style this time of season. Get your hats and I'm going to, I'm going to pressure the powers to be, to get us some beans. I want to be, zoom yeah.
01:39:01
Speaker
Alrighty, folks. Well, Blaze, before we roll out and play this final final ah final song of the night, do you have any closing words for us? Some words of wisdom. Drop some knowledge on the folks out here. I really didn't have anything prepared. It was kind of an impromptu come up here, but I guess going on the topic at hand, guys, just slow down. um Again, live in the present, not in the past, and don't freak out over the future. Yeah. Well,
01:39:29
Speaker
like ah Like we've been saying for most of this second half of the episode, you only get so much time in your life. um Figure out what makes you happy and realize that your problems, even though, again, some some problems are big, they're they're just a short part of your life. And if you can't focus on something other than your problems, it's going to be really difficult and you're going to have regrets when you're on your deathbed.
01:39:54
Speaker
So do your best to find that thing that brings you happiness, that lets you take a breath and forget about those issues. Y'all have a wonderful night. We're going to play this song here. We got Zay Graslie with campfire cologne. We will see y'all tomorrow night with what's, what's tomorrow night. Glick's house and music. And I'm not sure if he has a guest for tomorrow. All right. Y'all have a good night.