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Stories that Shape Us: Empire of Storms Pt. 2 - The Journey to "I Love You" and Self-Worth
16 Plays1 month ago
This is your holiday special of Stories that Shape Us, because sometimes curling up with a good book discussion is exactly what you need.
This is part 2 of the Empire of Storms analysis. We break down why Aelin's self-sacrifice is actually tragic, how keeping secrets is a trauma response, and why Rowan's love is the kind we all deserve.
🚨 Spoiler Alert 🚨
Here's what we're exploring about Aelin's journey in Empire of Storms:
- Secret-keeping as trauma: Aelin tells half-truths because she's afraid of disappointing people (hide the failure if you fail alone)
- Self-sacrifice from unworthiness: willing to burn herself out, thinking love and friendship were gifts she didn't deserve
- Rowan seeing all of her: flaws, destructive power, trauma - and saying "you do not face this alone"
- SJM characters feeling undeserving: they believe they don't deserve life and good things, so they self-sacrifice
- The vulnerability of love: Aelin had never let herself be that vulnerable, never felt something so consuming
From recognizing that secret-keeping makes it look like you're not trying, to understanding that Rowan's respect for Sam shows the love Aelin deserves, this episode explores what Empire of Storms teaches about accepting you're worthy.
Aelin has so much love for everyone except herself. She thinks of happiness as borrowed time. That's trauma, not strength. But Rowan doesn't just love her despite her flaws - he sees her completely and chooses to work through it together. He respects her past, her power, her struggles. That's what we all deserve.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that self-sacrifice from unworthiness isn't noble - healing means accepting you deserve good things.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! Are you Team Rowan or Team Lorcan? Do you relate to Aelin's self-sacrifice? DM me on Instagram @YourCoachMari!
🎧 Related Episodes: Stories that Shape Us: Empire of Storms Pt. 1
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Send in questions: contact+podcast@marisolmoran.com
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Growing With Soul' Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello beautiful souls and welcome to the Growing With Soul podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:14
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and are ready to embrace their own journey.
00:00:27
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. it's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
Episode Delays and 'Empire of Storms' Discussion
00:00:39
Speaker
So come grow with
00:00:42
Speaker
Okay, so we are finally getting to it. This has taken... months. There has been a lot of planning, a lot of a lot of mishaps, a lot of the life getting in the way. So I know that this episode is a very long overdue.
00:00:57
Speaker
And I'm also doing this one solo. Priscilla is not going to be in this episode. Again, life and everything and all that, all that fun stuff. It's also a very busy time of year, naturally, as we are in December during the holiday season. So I decided to record this one by myself. And then when it comes time to the next episode, her and I can coordinate to talk about Tower of Dawn.
Spoiler Alert: Aelin's Development and Relationships
00:01:20
Speaker
But for now, we are going to wrap up Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas. And this episode is specifically going to look at Aelyn, her development, and essentially her relationship with Rowan. So spoiler ro warning, spoiler warning.
00:01:40
Speaker
If you've not read Empire Storms, sorry about that one. But also you've probably read it by now if you're watching or listening to this episode. So, but just spoiler warning for all of a Throne of Glass.
00:01:52
Speaker
I'm not going to be talking about Agatar or Crescent City in this episode. So don't worry about that if you haven't read it. Most likely i will not be talking about anything spicy. I know, i know, not as fun, but heads up for next week because next week I do talk about some spicy stuff in terms of the books I've read this year.
00:02:12
Speaker
But with that being said, in terms of this particular podcast, I am going to be talking about growth and development and all that good stuff, but probably not so much. that I might reference some adult things because it does take place in this book, but I'm not going to like a deep dive into it.
00:02:27
Speaker
um So without further ado, let's go ahead and get into it So a little synopsis of Empire Storms in case you need one. The war is coming and Aelin Galathinius is running out of time. In Empire of Storms, the fifth book in the Throne of Glass series, Aelin races to forge alliances and gather armies before Erewhon's dark forces destroy everything she loves.
00:02:51
Speaker
But the weight of her destiny and the secrets she's been keeping threaten to tear her world apart. As ancient magic awakens and loyalties are tested, Aelin must decide. Will she be the queen who saves her kingdom or the one who destroys it?
Aelin's Determination and Themes of Self-Sacrifice
00:03:06
Speaker
And that's really what we're going to be getting into. So in looking at Aelin and specifically in this book, I saw her journey throughout this throughout this particular phase of the story as she's on a mission. okay she is She's owning the fact that she's Queen of Tereson and she is a queen on a mission. She is confident. She is determined. And she...
00:03:32
Speaker
has so much love. She is so in love, so in love with Rowan, in love with the family that she's created, this wonderful found family that she's been able to kind of like hodgepodge together through all of her experiences as Selena, ah essentially, and now as Aelin. And she has so much love for her kingdom, for Tarasen.
00:04:01
Speaker
And on top of that, the the painful part, the the tragic part is that she is willing to do anything to protect them, including sacrificing herself, which is how we end empire storms with her essentially being a sacrificial lamb.
00:04:19
Speaker
And there's just so much in between and all that tumultuousness. And I do think that we tend to see this I feel like it's it's it's like a thread within the works of Sarah J. Maas where so many characters are self-sacrificing, but not just self-sacrificing. So many characters within Sarah J. Maas' work fully believe that they are undeserving of life and good things.
00:04:47
Speaker
And we see it show up differently within different characters. I'm not going to get into the other books. I'm not going to get into the other books, but if you've read the other books, you might know what I'm referencing because there are so many different characters who feel like they're undeserving of life, of love, of good things. And in that, they punish themselves. And through that self-punishment tends to be the self-sacrificing.
Aelin's Secretive Nature and Leadership Challenges
00:05:10
Speaker
And we see that with Aelin in this book. And we see that a little bit with Rowan as well which I will get into.
00:05:19
Speaker
um But specifically with Aileen, one of the key pain points that we see pop up, not just in this book, but also in the last one, um is the fact that she tends to keep her plans so closely guarded, close to the chest. She doesn't actually tell anybody her plans, what she's doing, what she's thinking, until it's either already done or like, this is what I'm doing. You either are going to help me out and get this done or you're going to get out of my way.
00:05:47
Speaker
So we see it pop up for the first time in Empire of Storms when the little folk leave her like a little little figurine of i think it's like the the temple in, oh my I'm forgetting the name of the town. i should have wrote the name the town in notes. Sorry, don't have it here. but it's like a temple where one of the former, essentially like people who worked in the mines of Endovir was essentially,
00:06:15
Speaker
had to like a word stone in him and was taken over by Erewhon and like where she was attacked there. But the little folk had left her like a little replica of that. And instead of like telling people like, this is where we're going, this is why we're going there, this is what we need to do when we're there.
00:06:31
Speaker
She just was like, this is what we're doing, follow me. and like It literally says in the book when it comes to this point, when she sees the replica, an order, where to go, what she needed to obtain.
00:06:45
Speaker
She was willing to listen, play along, even it had meant telling the others only half the truth. Half of the truth, which is what, it's basically what she's known for. And I even made reference to this in my notes where one of the things that Dorian really appreciated about Manon was that there were no lies with Manon. There was no like,
00:07:09
Speaker
Manon was never trying to have any type of pretense with Dorian. And even if there were good intentions, in the first few books, there were a lot of lies and pretense between Dorian and Sorsha, Dorian and Kale, Dorian and Selina, Aelin.
00:07:27
Speaker
And that's one of the things that he really appreciated and liked about Manon. And here we have Aelin again having or sharing a half-truth with her found family, with her general, with essentially her closest people and guards.
00:07:45
Speaker
And this does come up again later on in the book, especially with Aiden because he has a really hard time with this. But Ultimately, this is something that Aelin can't seem to get over. We can assume maybe like like once we close Kingdom of Ash that like everything is calm and peaceful. So like she eventually gets to a point where she doesn't feel like her her family and her loved ones are going to disappear and like be murdered because of her actions that maybe she can start sharing her plans and stuff with people.
00:08:17
Speaker
But that's just us creating more story after the close of the book. That's not necessarily what we see on the page. So again, this happens, like I mentioned later on in the book with Aideon, especially towards the end when like Aideon was like, what are we going to do? We don't have any armies. We don't have any allies. Like we're going to lose. And he's crashing out, which like, you know what? Valid, super valid because Aideon has been fighting the fight since his childhood. And he also has experienced significant trauma, which we never learn about explicitly, but it is heavily hinted at. that he's experienced severe trauma throughout his childhood and also just as an adult witnessing war and death and death of his people.
00:09:03
Speaker
So with all of that, Aedion is in the cause, okay? Very much in the cause. So he is pointing out to Aelin that they don't have any allies, don't have any armies, so what are they supposed to do? And that is when Ansel's army shows up.
00:09:19
Speaker
And Aelin says, or like thinks to herself, she knew they were pissed. So pissed that she hadn't told them about Ansel. But the thought of disappointing them, of failing, she'd wanted to do this on her own. And that, that is the downfall.
00:09:35
Speaker
Naturally, in this book, we see it work out time and again. Like we see Aelin constantly succeeding Obviously, there are casualties, there are pain points, and you know maybe like micro failures throughout the process. But overall, Aylan is successful in what she does, even though she tends to do it in such a way that people are, like people's loyalty towards her is tested because she leaves them in the dark.
Lessons on Communication and Vulnerability
00:10:03
Speaker
But she's so afraid of disappointing them. And we see that throughout the
00:10:10
Speaker
Throughout her journey, especially when she finally comes into accepting that she's ailing Galathinius and not Selina Sardothian, and then going from that to then accepting the fact that she is also Queen of Taricen and the weight of that.
00:10:24
Speaker
Because now you have all these people who are older than her. All these people who have, because of how old they were, and also because of you know their status by nature of those two things, they have been fighting for Tarasen while Aelin was a child, while Aelin was Selina Sardothian, Adderlin's assassin, and not doing anything for Tarasen, really.
00:10:49
Speaker
So she definitely has this guilt and through that guilt has taken on this mantle of, I'm already a disappointment and I don't want to continue being a disappointment. So I'm just going to hash out my plans on my own and get things done on my own. So if there are success, great, I can share my success. But if it's failure, i can hide the failure.
00:11:10
Speaker
But the downside of that is that she is potentially creating distrust, creating moments of tension and pain. But on the flip side as well, and also a very real thing if we were to take lessons from this, is that when we do this in real life, what it can look like to the outside person is that you're not putting in any effort to do anything.
00:11:35
Speaker
And that can also lead to a lot of pain and tension. The self-sacrificial piece pops up a lot as a well with Aelin. And not just at the very end of the book when she's taken by Maeve, and also when she's taken essentially willingly by Maeve. We see it earlier as a well before essentially that that battle that happens right there in Ilwi. When they are in the the ruins in Ilwi, and then when the Ilkhan show up. In that moment, she is determined to sacrifice herself.
00:12:08
Speaker
So the Ilkhan are arriving. And it's like horde. There's like a attackg an army of Ilken essentially. And it's just like their ragtag team up against all these guys. So it's the odds are not in their favor.
00:12:24
Speaker
So Aelin takes it upon herself to essentially burn herself out with her magic. She was going to go, which we saw in um Skull's Bay, that she has these like wells and wells and just like depths of fire and magic.
00:12:42
Speaker
And she almost burnt out then. So as a reader, we've already witnessed her almost burning out. But that wasn't the purpose back then. She was just in a very difficult situation, but that wasn't her purpose. That wasn't her goal.
00:12:56
Speaker
With that being said, though, we now see that she learned that she can burn out and she knows where that limit is, supposedly. So she goes into this moment deciding to sacrifice herself for her found family.
00:13:12
Speaker
Because at this point, if she were to die, it's over for Tarazen. Like maybe Tereson still has a chance if she were to die at this point, but it's pretty much over for Tereson because like their heir is gone.
00:13:25
Speaker
Nonetheless, she's going to protect her family. So she tells herself, only the first shot, only her shot. Perhaps it was time to see how deep that new well of power went, what lived inside it.
Aelin's Self-Sacrifice and Relatability
00:13:38
Speaker
She was willing to burn herself out to save her family. it is like She has so much love for everyone else except herself sometimes. it it's It's ridiculous.
00:13:50
Speaker
And thankfully in that moment, she has so much magic that she doesn't burn herself out. And I think also, if I recall correctly, um Rowan does assist her as a well since they are Karanam.
00:14:03
Speaker
But...
00:14:07
Speaker
Like that self-sacrificing such a huge piece to who she is. And again, like at in the very end, we see her make the decision to be taken willingly by Maeve. mean, on the outside, she puts up a fight because she can't be seen as weak or being taken willingly. Like she has to play the game. But we see her make the decision where she's thinking to herself,
00:14:29
Speaker
Grateful she had met them all, that she had seen some small part of the world, had heard such lovely music, had danced and laughed and known true friendship. Grateful that she had found Rowan.
00:14:39
Speaker
She was grateful. So Aileen Galathinius dried her tears and did not fight when Maeve strapped that beautiful iron mask over her face.
00:14:50
Speaker
That girl, you deserve to live. You deserve to have all of those things. Instead, she's thinking of these things as like borrowed time, as like gifts that she didn't deserve to begin with, which is so painful when you've experienced that yourself as well.
00:15:05
Speaker
Obviously, we're not all sacrificing ourselves in this way, but I think that's what makes Ailin so relatable as well.
Aelin and Rowan: A Relationship of Depth and Respect
00:15:13
Speaker
With that being said, I can't talk about Aelin's development as a character, as an individual, without talking about her relationship with Rowan.
00:15:20
Speaker
Obviously, these are like kind of romantic-y, kind of not. These books, this series kind of like totes that, you know, toggles that line of whether it's romantic-y, a young adult, what have you.
00:15:33
Speaker
I definitely think that now towards the latter half of the series, it's a little bit more romantic-y. But... It is what it is. Either way the storys the story is the story. But because of that, I do need to talk about her relationship with Rowan, where in this book, I mean, don't know. In this book, do they say they were finally mates? I think they finally acknowledge the that were because they do mark each other.
00:15:55
Speaker
So that's a huge, huge thing. um But with Rowan himself, I think one of the beautiful things about Rowan, and if we're going to be looking at relationships and how healthy they are, how beneficial they are to the each individual person, we definitely see where in terms of Rowan's development, his relationship with Aelin definitely makes him a little bit softer. We get to see a different side of him.
00:16:19
Speaker
Whereas before he was this like angry, warrior, you know, in Maeve's cadre. But with Aelin, get to see a softer, more gentle side of him, a more loving side.
00:16:33
Speaker
We definitely still see the anger, especially because he does not play about Aelin. Like a people can be People were disrespectful towards Aileen, especially like we see that with Rolfe and um where he like makes fun of Aileen, kind of like teases her, says some disrespectful things about like Sam.
00:16:52
Speaker
Rowan doesn't play. Rowan does not play about that. And Rowan, oh my God. Okay. I was not a Rowan girlie. i'm I'm still kind of not a Rowan girlie. Like, I... like Like, i I do like Rowan. i appreciate him. He's phenomenal and wonderful and lovely and amazing. I agree with all the beautiful things everybody has to say about him. If I got to choose who's going to be my bo boyfriend, we already know. We already know it's Lorcan. Okay? Like, if I'm choosing one guy, one man from the mass verse, it's Lorcan.
00:17:28
Speaker
But i Finally, really started to appreciate Rowan during my first read-through, actually in Kingdom of Ash.
00:17:39
Speaker
There was a moment where Aelin is like riding off into battle in Kingdom of Ash and Rowan's watching her go into battle. And he's just like, and it's like, he's talking to Sam, to like Sam's spirit.
00:17:51
Speaker
And he was just like, if only you could see her now. i'm like, like, like, oh my God, like a what? What? Okay. Like that, that moment made me fall in love with Rowan.
00:18:01
Speaker
But we see a glimpse of that in this book as well, where Rolfe had said something disrespectful to Aelin about Sam, because the last time they were she was in Skulls Bay was with Sam when they saved all those slaves.
00:18:14
Speaker
So then after Rolfe says his shenanigans... The text reads, There was a choking sound and a slam and a rattle of glasses. She looked, she, Aelin, looked slowly to find Rowan with his hand around Rolfe's neck. The captain pressed onto the map, the figures scattered everywhere, Rowan's snarling teeth close to ripping off Rolfe's ear.
00:18:40
Speaker
Like, not only does this show that Rowan has so much respect for Aelin, but he has so much respect for her past and her past experiences that he is not going to let anybody talk shit in any capacity.
00:18:55
Speaker
Like...
00:18:59
Speaker
i think that I think what makes that so beautiful and wonderful and lovely is that we don't see that that often in real life. I feel like in a lot of relationships in real life, people don't like to acknowledge or talk about their partner's past and past relationships.
00:19:13
Speaker
And the thing about specifically with Sam and Aileen is that it's not like it was this tumultuous relationship and like they broke up. It's like he was murdered, you know?
00:19:26
Speaker
so it was like this tragic ending. So to have that level of like respect for a previous partner and that level of respect for your partner, oh my God, it's just Rowan deserves his flowers. Rowan definitely deserves his flowers.
00:19:44
Speaker
On top of the respect piece that again makes their relationship so beautiful to read is that Rowan has so much like not just respect, but also i don't know. like I can't think of the right word, but like, I mean, definitely so much love for Aileen, but respect and love for her, even in her imperfections where she is still learning and growing.
00:20:11
Speaker
I think that's what it is. So whatever word there is for that, that's the word. Because we see her time and again grappling with how much power she really has. And not only, i think not only do we see this in terms of her grappling and coming to terms with the amount of power she holds as Queen of Tereson and what that looks like and learning how to manage that, how to manage and wield that power.
00:20:35
Speaker
So it's like a figurative power, metaphorical power. But then also her literal fire magic and figuring out where the depths of that, where the bottom bottom of the well is for that. And her feeling as if it's this scary, like frightening, ugly thing about herself because it can be so destructive. And she already has a lot of trauma from her childhood in her past about being a destructive individual. And then having to come to terms with the fact that not only can her power
00:21:08
Speaker
potentially eventually create something wonderful, but that she has a so much capacity to destroy. And that's not something she wants to do.
Rowan's Support and Aelin's Quest for Acceptance
00:21:19
Speaker
So when Rowan tells her when she's having one of these moments,
00:21:24
Speaker
So then he tells her, but you and I will learn to manage your power together. You do not face this alone. You do not decide that you are unlovable because you have powers that can save and destroy. My note to that was literally king shit, like king shit, because that's so that's so true. and it's it's him seeing all of her and appreciating all of her, her flaws, her struggles, her...
00:21:50
Speaker
her her own like negative self concept at times, her own limiting beliefs. He's seen all of that and telling her that like, nope, we're going to do this together. Whereas before, when we talk about before, when she's making all these plans by herself and not telling people about these plans and doing these things essentially by herself, he's telling her, uh-uh, I see you. I see all of you. I see your flaws and everything. And I love you. And we're going to do this together and we're going to figure it out and we're gonna find a solution
00:22:19
Speaker
That's all a woman wants. That's all a girl wants in life. Okay. Why is that so hard to find? Aylan found it. She found it. She found it in Rowan. Okay. And it is just one of the most beautiful things. And I think that when we look at the relationship from Rowan's perspective, he had a lot of similar feelings about himself, especially when it came to the point where he was like, where they were Like the other the other royalty and nobility from Terrason was like, well, we need to get you married to somebody who has a lot of money.
00:22:48
Speaker
And Rowan reflected upon himself. And he was like, I don't have anything like that to offer her because he left all of his riches in Dorinel. But when it came down to it, he was able to offer her an army because he went to all of his cousins and got them to essentially turn on Maeve and fight for Aelin in a very pivotal moment in the story.
00:23:10
Speaker
So again, king shit. Like rowing, he's like, yeah, king shit. Okay. He made it happen. Ironically, he made it happen by doing something like he didn't share the plan with anybody.
00:23:22
Speaker
Maybe for the same reasons where he was afraid that like, if he failed, he didn't want to disappoint anybody. So very much they are mates in that capacity. But again, just absolutely the the way that we see them love each other is absolutely beautiful.
00:23:38
Speaker
So one of the key things with that, that a lot of them, that both of them were grappling with throughout the entire book was being able to tell each other, I love you. In the beginning, we see Aelin wanting to say, but being afraid to say it. We see Rowan later on wanting, when Aelin sent him off to go um rescue Dorian, he wanted to say, I love you, but was afraid to say it essentially.
00:24:04
Speaker
And then finally, after they've already claimed each other, they marked each other, all of that finally transpired. You finally see Rowan say I love you. And he tells her, even when this road is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you. Aelin didn't know when she started crying, when her body began shaking with the force of it.
00:24:27
Speaker
She had never said such words to anyone. Never let herself be that vulnerable. Never felt this burning and unending thing. So consuming, she might die from the force of it.
00:24:40
Speaker
Such a beautiful moment. And honestly, I think such a beautiful place to wrap everything up. Because we see, i think at this point, we see this turning point in the story where it's almost like a solidification of everything that Aelyn had been working towards, whether she knew it or not.
00:24:56
Speaker
Whether she knew that she was working towards having Terrison be free again, having her court be in power again, having her her people be free.
Embracing Love and Growth
00:25:07
Speaker
And whether or not she knew that she was working towards finding the love of her life, finding her mate, embracing that she is part Faye. And i think in in doing, in accepting Rowan as her mate part in working on fully controlling and owning her powers, both the queenly powers and her very real fire magic.
00:25:30
Speaker
In working in that, she has really come into her own. And I think at this point in the overall book, she has really solidified her mission in saving Tarasen and also fully embracing love.
00:25:44
Speaker
I think that's one of the things when it comes to Empire Storms that is maybe not overtly on the page, but I definitely think that it's part of the overall storyline is Aelin really coming to the point where she is embracing love, embracing being in love.
00:26:01
Speaker
with herself, Rowan, her found family, and her kingdom.
Podcast Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:26:07
Speaker
And that's where we are at the end of this book.
00:26:11
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in to the Gornwood Soul podcast. If this episode resonated with you, definitely subscribe, leave a five-star review. It helps get this out to more people who would really enjoy talking about these things and also talking about books and what we can learn from them.
00:26:27
Speaker
Just so you know, i am a certified life coach and I am currently also accepting clients. So if you would like to work with me, have someone for accountability or just to help you along with your own healing journey, definitely hit me up and schedule your very own discovery call through the link in the show notes.
00:26:43
Speaker
Until next time, keep growing.