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WTF NEWS the snowman comith
14 Plays11 days ago
as glick is away for the holiday blaze jumps in with some news and a few disterbing stories
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Transcript
Thanksgiving Eve Musings
00:03:00
Speaker
Hello everybody, it is Wednesday. That means it's hump day and it's the day before Thanksgiving. So having ya I know every time I see that, say
WTF News & Nonsensical Network
00:03:14
Speaker
that. but um This is what the fuck news, where we're going to talk about the news that is news that makes you say what? Of course, we are on on the nonsensical network, bio dot like slash nonsensical network. Everything we do, including our merch line is there.
Catching Up on Personal Stories
00:03:33
Speaker
uh nonsense go dash nonsense dot my spread shop dot com uh go ahead and get something and spread us on you how you doing there buddy i am good i just realized that uh i have my uh my my my x split uh title up too anyway hi i'm doing great man um hey i'm back on a wednesday night well yeah glick was you know he he he uh didn't realize what day it was made understandably, you know, family funds, I get it, you know, life gets in the way. No big deal. We push on as a work in the fit of having a blaze around, man. Yeah. And we're going to be
Snowman Prank Karma
00:04:17
Speaker
telling some stories. And the first one I got, I got to show you a picture. So Utah, this actually story is from ah last year. ah Utah last year got a ton of snow. And this guy had
00:04:32
Speaker
during the summer had taken out a tree that was on his property. And he built a snowman around the stump. And some asshole decided to hit the snowman with his truck. Yes. Can you imagine being the dumb ass that realized I just fucked up? Like he went at it too. And he was fucked up as he knew somebody else's property.
00:05:00
Speaker
Yeah, it's so like like on like um it's not like he has karma. It's not like he lost control. He was just being a dick. Oh, yeah. And it paid. And and I hope his truck was totaled. I really do. The only thing that would make it better is if it was like a Cybertruck or something. But other than that, what are you going to do? Apparently they're blowing up all over the place. Yeah, apparently they're getting stuck in like an inch in a mud.
00:05:26
Speaker
um But yeah, I found that, and i was that's why this episode is called The Snowman Cometh. Because if you fuck with a snowman, apparently they fuck back. They will come onto you, and it's like real cold, and it's white and sticky. I'm sorry. It's not the same. It's not the cometh you want when when you mess with a snowman, apparently. But yeah, I think this guy, you know he's a complete dick, and I i hope he left his license plate like you know how when you hit something like snow like a snowbank your license plate leads within print I hope it was there in case he drove off and he got arrested for it later because his license plate was imprinted in the snow I that's my hope I don't know to be honest well I mean all the cops got to do is drive around a bike see who's got some pressure damage to the front end of their car right where'd you get that Bob
00:06:24
Speaker
ah Well, if you look at the picture, he hit it hard. like That's like, God, I wish I could make like, I wish I had a huge stump in my yard just so I could do that. Right. i knew A lot of traffic romance. No, but it's one of those things where, you know, there was a there's a a TV show I used to watch but with the kids called The Middle.
00:06:53
Speaker
And they used to have these kids that used to terrorize the neighborhood. So they stacked boulders into their snowmen. And so that when these kids try to take them out, they, you know, they would take them out with baseball. ads So they'd hit that boulder and just, you know, vibrate themselves with that, right? You know, this is the same kind of concept.
00:07:16
Speaker
ah Hashtag worth it to the dad that was like, you know what? I'm gonna have a little fun. The snowman obviously is still standing so I'm not Yeah, I am. um I'm sure I'm sure it was probably a Ford Actually, I there I know there's video of it somewhere. I didn't have time to get the video. I Well, if it was a Ford it would still be in the picture And it would have wouldn't have made it to the snowman, to be honest. It would have gotten stuck in the snow. But i thought that was I thought that was funny and cute. and But the the first story I have is i I've read this three times. And i i' I'm going to read it to you. And I want you to tell me who the bad guy is
YouTuber's Fart Video in Court
00:08:08
Speaker
in this case. So most critically is a YouTuber.
00:08:13
Speaker
He claims his farts were evidence in the Billy Mitchell versus Kyle Josh's court case. Okay. You're going to have to tell me what that court case is about. That's why I had to go in deeper in this. I read this whole article twice. So, um, most critical AKA Charlie. were we critical That's my new name. Moist critical. Right. Anyway, anyway.
00:08:40
Speaker
ah revealed that his he testified against Billy Mitchell in an ongoing court case that includes video footage of most – or moist, sorry – farting on camera being used as evidence against his claims. So apparently, he's the bad guy? I don't know.
00:09:05
Speaker
I got no words in this race. This might not my, not my clown, not my circus. And that, so the case in question is Carl Jost, Jost, J-O-B-S-T. Like, what's this? Billy Mitchell. Like, on what, what's, what's the damages? What's the? Well, that's, that's what I'm getting to right here. The trial, Jost claims, Mitchell delayed for three years before courts, you know, set a date in stone.
00:09:36
Speaker
It's in an Australian court the suit raised by Mitchell Claims that Jost's Jost's the YouTube videos about him cheating at Donkey Kong Worked inflammatory and As a result he's pursuing a four hundred and fifty thousand dollars in damage now it let's be honest It's Australia dollars, so it's not that much So usually back when I was a young, we won going to the arcade game and fighting over who's all, who's better. We either put up or shut up, or it was my dad can beat your dad, not take it to court. Well, and but so they use the, you know, obviously they were streaming back and forth, just like we do here. They weren't in the same room and they're playing, they were playing donkey Kong on a stream, you know, and
00:10:34
Speaker
apparently Mo moist.
00:10:40
Speaker
My fart made it into evidence in this case. Oh, I mean, I think it's a while that. Or the video recording of a fart made it into a court case. Well, no, well, well, once again,
00:10:57
Speaker
It's not like he did it like, oh, I'll just sneak this one past. This dude stood up, put his ass in the microphone and let it rip. Oh man, I should have done that last week. I know. Well, you did. You just didn't realize it. Very loud.
00:11:14
Speaker
So apparently the court case is about one of them cheating on the game. Okay. Calm down. It's fucking Donkey Kong. How do you cheat on Donkey Kong?
00:11:26
Speaker
That was gonna be my next question. um
00:11:33
Speaker
and And so they're they're saying Billy Mitchell does not deserve, an ah he he's basically won an apology for his part. He says he doesn't deserve the apology because he's manipulative and he's lying and he's doing it for his career because they are both ah YouTubers.
00:11:56
Speaker
And as we've all noticed over the years, 90% of YouTubers, you know, they do crazy stuff for views. Yeah. It sounds like a bunch of cry babies going to court. ah Exactly. So like I said, I can't figure out who's the bad guy in this case. They're all losers. Agreed. Get out of your mom's basement. Get a real fucking job. Stop playing. I mean, I i i don't, I don't want to get it. If you were playing like call it or you're playing Madden.
00:12:24
Speaker
thing but i mean No, but, like, I get it if you're playing Donkey Kong, or if you're playing Madden, or you're playing Call of Duty, there are cheaters out there where they use... It's easier to cheat. How do you cheat in Donkey Kong, dude?
00:12:40
Speaker
I have no idea. I'm trying to. I'm i am trying no i am trying to to. We've all seen those videos. People take it away. I don't see it. And they put it on their screen and then mark a little action. I mean, besides, like I mean, besides like going over and shoving the person out of the way, like, ha ha, you lost or employee. Exactly. I don't know. Yeah. I read this. I was just like, it's so confusing. And it's basically the dude was like, Hey, you're being a dick.
00:13:08
Speaker
Oh, he's actually he's actually wanting his platform taken away as well. So the guy that farted, the guy that he farted at once his his YouTube channel shut down. Now, I don't know where the court is like. I don't think they have that jurisdiction, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure that's YouTube's deal.
00:13:36
Speaker
Um, but once again, you know what? It's a fart number one, but it's, it apparently the part, it's not about the fart. It's about, they're using it as context of how this guy's an asshole. This court case is a farces, a farcical fart. Yeah. and And my thought was, well, can we put up a court? Uh, like we go to court over Glick showing his belt all the time. It's like kind of a dick about it.
00:14:06
Speaker
it's I just think it's so, I read it and I was like, this sounds funny, but it's not funny. It's just stupid. Death fluctuation. Yes. But yeah, that's my first story.
The Mysterious Deer Vest
00:14:21
Speaker
Failing miserly. You farted in the bed. you want to hear You want to hear a weird story out of British Columbia, Canada?
00:14:30
Speaker
I do love Canada. This is the fact that I like to make fun of them. So this is, this was originally reported by a local newspaper called the Rocky Mountain goat. Nice. This is the greatest of all time newspaper. I tell you what. Anyway, so you're used to seeing, you know, you're driving around winter around this time. You see deer kind of like joy. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine driving around snow everywhere. You see, you know, usually seeing deer.
00:14:59
Speaker
And all of a sudden you see a deer wearing a fucking reflective vest. That's a dude in a costume. So no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like that would be my first thought when I saw it. I'm like, no are you assholes dressed up as a deer? There was a.
00:15:16
Speaker
a deer wandering around this town of British, well, the northern part of British Columbia wearing a reflective vest, like one of those high vis. Yeah, the high vis. Playing in the forest, and it was zipped up. So they're investigating, but they're trying to figure out who in the fuck tackled this deer, held it down. That's genius.
00:15:39
Speaker
Is that not something you and I and Glick would be like, let's get drunk and do something stupid? Hey, look, there's a deer. like it's it's it's it's it's one of those is It's one of those situations where you're like, well, that's odd. That's out of place. Wait, what went into making that happen? Yeah, that's that's not something you just, that's not something you stumble upon a deer and and sneak up on it and like, I got it, put the vest on.
00:16:04
Speaker
That's because it was zipped up. It's not like yeah it's not like like it's not like it's not like paying off its antlers. So, you know, yeah, that's that's hilarious. It was quite the site in a northern northern British Columbia recently. So I thought that was I thought it was pretty odd. So that that is that is out there. I do have an
Unbelievable Inmate Story
00:16:26
Speaker
update on one of the stories we did in the past. Is this about the is this about the monkeys?
00:16:32
Speaker
No. i go say they did They did catch two more monkeys or two or three more monkeys since last. That's why Glick's not here. They caught it. They caught him. They caught the monkey. They caught the great great yeah but monkey. The elusive. No, actually, so we did a story a while back that I found where a Florida inmate ah claimed, you know, she's been in prison.
00:17:02
Speaker
for a while and she got pregnant. And she's lately she's been spouting off that she's comparing herself to the Virgin Mary. imaculate Immaculate, immaculate. Conception, yeah. But it turns out that, and this is, I can't fathom, I know how to do it.
00:17:30
Speaker
But I don't know why this would take place. ah She originally claimed that the semen in question that got her pregnant was passed through an air vent by a fellow prisoner.
00:17:48
Speaker
So originally, You know, when you have men's and women's prison, they don't necessarily put them in the same areas. They put them in separate sections. I'm trying to make that excuse make sense in my head. That's what my thought was. It's not like you can just reach the air bed and touch. You know, that's kind of like a, it's a real Hawk to a moment. You're like, where i had like a Barnacle penis and just like, but Well, you know, it's one of those things like if you gather up enough semen, I'm sure you just drip it off your hand down the bench. She catches it, rubs it in. But. Which is, I'm assuming how soon you get back. But the claim is she's covering up. I go ah and don't have a vagina, but mine just threw up a little bit.
00:18:35
Speaker
Right. I think this is one we need to bring to Chaka because, you know, he works in prison. So I'm just saying. you But it's like swiping like semen from the inside of an air duct. It's all dusty. well No, I don't think. Well, that was my thing. It's like so you're going to get a weird kid because he's got dirt on him. But that's funny. So the story seems to be out of the movie script. However, two Florida inmates have ah
00:19:07
Speaker
somehow swapped fluids so they can welcome a child in the world, it's despite never meeting face to face.
00:19:20
Speaker
Now, there was a TV, not to bring it back to a TV show, but there was a TV show called Sprung, that started in 2021, where it takes place in 2020, where all these prisoners got let out of jail.
00:19:36
Speaker
yeah uh, because of COVID and the dude used to, uh, empty the, the, the water out of the toilet and he could talk to the girl in the cell below him. Cause she was on a different floor and they were dating, but they'd never seen each other. And then they both get out and meet and neither one of them or what they thought they were. Do you think they tossed all the cells looking for a Turkey base here that came out missing out of the kitchen? I don't know.
00:20:07
Speaker
But apparently ah Daisy Link is her name. She's 29. The white trash story comes with the white trash name. Right. And then Juan Lopez, who is 24, they engineered an unconventional path to parenthood through the prison air vent. Sparkling questions about love, integrity and and institutional oversight. So, Glick and I, when we first heard about this, because this is the new story that this dude is the father, yeah is new story, because when we heard it, she was like, I don't know how I got pregnant. I must be, you know, immaculate conception.
00:21:00
Speaker
They, our initial thought was somebody's, some guard is like, hey, you know, I'll give you an extra pudding cup. You just take care of my pudding cup. But apparently they swapped through air vents. There's not much swapping. Both being held in isolation. It's a one way deposit. There's no swapping. Well, agreed. So they're both being held in isolation facing charges of murder.
00:21:31
Speaker
and they're both on separate floors within the facility. So, you know, it's like one above the other. So they can talk through the air vent, you know, there's a shaft and stuff, but he had to like rub one out, put it in his hand and then, okay, are you ready? Catch it. And then, you know, drop the mic, so to speak. she like And she had to catch it. with her her her legs No, I'm assuming she had her hand out the air vent. She caught it. She's like, I'll just rub this in.
00:22:01
Speaker
I'm sure he put it in something like maybe a toothpaste bottle. Like got like i'm something, I don't know. And how many attempts were there? I'm just curious. But yeah, but we heard about this story about eight months ago, by the way, she has given birth. She was given, she gave birth in the first story. So this you this kid is like almost a year now.
00:22:31
Speaker
Okay, so it's it's this weird thing. But here's the crazy thing. I don't think they're, they're scheduled to get out anytime soon. But according to, you know, they they obviously the news team went there and interviewed them both. And her, her what, one of the things from her, ah yeah her quote, I always wanted a baby.
00:23:01
Speaker
Well, she got one. And I told him if anyone was if I was ever close to somebody, it would be you. And his coat was had to help her out.
00:23:17
Speaker
I wonder how many cigarettes he had to trade for that transaction. I don't know. I mean, like I mean, how many cigarettes do you charge for your semen in prison? Well, apparently they're dating.
00:23:31
Speaker
um they're dating. oh o I mean, it's it's it's long distance but not so long distance because they're literally a floor away from each other. But they've never seen each other. Well, speaking of duct work and um long of ah
00:23:56
Speaker
I'm trying to, I'm trying to tie this into a duct tape tank, a duct tape banana. It sells for $6.2 million. dollars I saw this. I know. yeah Okay. So there was, okay, this,
Art or Capitalism? The $6.2 Million Banana
00:24:10
Speaker
go ahead. This is a famous artist. Um, the piece is called comedian by Italian artists, Maurizio Catalane. And what it is, it's a banana duct tape to a wall.
00:24:26
Speaker
That's it. Now, the duct tape, one artist, when when it was on display, another artist came up, took the banana off and ate it. Right. So it was replaced again by the artist. so But before were getting into what the art means, how do you sell a piece with a piece of fruit on the wall?
00:24:46
Speaker
Actually, I have the answer for that I do too So you get a certificate from the artist that gives you the rights to the art to replace the banana and the duct tape and and the duct tape because they both have to replace as you see fit as the owner of That piece of art and the whole time giving it credit to the original artist, you know, I I actually heard this story as well and it kind of it It reminds me of an old adage. If you take a car and you replace every single piece on the car, is it the same car? so This is simplifying it. So that's actually from an old philosophical um um of thought experiment, these scenes. About a boat. Yeah, it's about a boat. These scenes? Yeah. These scenes, the ship? Anyway. But yeah, yeah, yeah. So this simplifies it because it's really two pieces.
00:25:43
Speaker
I didn't you know what I didn't think about that aspect of it when I read that but that's a good that's a good. That was my first thought I was like is it really the same piece artwork if it's a new piece of duct tape and a new banana every couple months.
00:25:56
Speaker
So I think because of the meaning, yes, because the, been okay, so here's the meaning. This is from, from the artist interview with the artist, basically. And I'm not going to go into great detail. I kind of want the people to look into it themselves, but it's a, it's a critique on capitalism because the banana, re the but the banana represents one of ah the darkest days in what some people consider like, um, um, um, capitalistic, um,
00:26:28
Speaker
Is that what I'm looking for? No, no, it's like capitalism taking over and exploiting resources. And it was a whole bananas in the Republican Republic, the whole Banana Republic. you knows It's all this stuff from decades ago. And that's essentially what that art supposed to be a critique of is like the banana is like the ultimate symbolism of exploitative, exploitative capitalism. So.
00:26:56
Speaker
My thought is much more simple. This guy had a deadline for a piece of art. No, he was like, it's not. I got duct tape and a banana. I'm done. It's amazing. Give me $6 million dollars because you know what? Well, so here's my own thing the, the piece of art at first was estimated to auction at 1.5 million between one and 1.5 million. And it ended up auctioning 6.2 million.
00:27:24
Speaker
So I'm just saying you got way too much money on your hands if you're going to pay $6 million dollars for because I can basically recreate that whole thing for about $1.50. Well, yeah, now you can, but the arts already been done. ah Yeah, but I can say it's the original.
00:27:42
Speaker
You don't have the certificate to say it's original. Oh, no, I keep that in a safe deposit box. I can't tell you that. It's because you copy it. It's ultimately fine. So you're paying $6.2 million. It's what that art symbolizes. It's not about how much money goes into the art, but what that art Oh, no, I get it. i just think I just think it comes down. I'm being pedantic, obviously. But it's one of those things that's like, if you got enough money to spend $6 million on a banana and some WK, regardless of what it stands for, you're an asshole.
00:28:15
Speaker
And I think and I honestly think that's the whole irony in the piece. It's agreed because because it's like to take a swipe at capitalism. Yet somebody's going to spend six point two million dollars where we're in a duct tape. It's like right where you can feed the homeless. Like who's the art, the buyer? Oh, I see. We're going. Yeah. So yeah. yeah And that's once again, I think whoever bought it and whoever sold it for that much, you're an asshole, both of you. Anyway, if you buy a banana and piece of duct tape for $6.2 million, dollars you got chipped because I can get both of them at my store for $1
Roommate Conflict Over a Cat
00:28:56
Speaker
.50. It better be Chiquita not Dole, just saying. I'm do one more story then we're going to take a quick break. so
00:29:08
Speaker
Um you got you got you got animals. You got dogs. Um I do. I got two spoiled rotten dogs. If you guys watch our Tiktok, you would have seen at least one of them the other night. Yes, Blaze exploits his dogs for Tiktok views. Um So this one, I think you'll find it. Oh, Chaka, what's up, dude? I haven't been paying attention to the comments. I had my news stories up on the comments. I apologize. So a man used a chair to knock out his roommate in a dispute about overfeeding the cats. Whose banana is bigger?
00:29:49
Speaker
overfeeding the cats cats you get over feed a cat you give them oh yes you can yes you can have you seen the world's largest cat is like like 40 pounds well that's because they feed them lasagna well the cat's name is Garfield no joke no but like it's you know you know would you spoil your pet you know you know you you were just saying you're you're your pets are spoiled um but they are on a strict diet they're not overweight understood. But apparently, these two roommates have a cat together. I'm sorry, owners that don't understand that pets need diets and then they can overeat. But this dude got mad. he he
00:30:36
Speaker
You know, the household disagreement started about overfeeding the cats, escalated to a bloody brawl, saw one roommate knocking out another unconscious with a chair, ah according to investigators. By the way, this is Florida. that So i I'm surprised it's just a cat. But um this happened about 7 45 p.m. on Saturday, last Saturday, the 23rd.
00:31:03
Speaker
ah The home is shared by multiple roommates near Ocala and about 80 miles drive northwest of Orlando. um
00:31:16
Speaker
I announced myself, oh wait, that's the deputy, nevermind. ah i thought So they basically got into an argument about, you're feeding the cat too much. No, it's not, it's hungry, it's crying at me.
00:31:30
Speaker
This is the argument that started, stop feeding the cat. It's hungry, dude. That's why it's crying. No, it's crying because you're over, once it onces good knows if it cries, it you get more food. It's like a trick to this cat. yeah Stop over, no, the cat, this is the argument playing in my head. And then dude gets so mad, he picks up a chair and hits him with it.
00:31:57
Speaker
Dude, it's a cat. You're over stuffing that pussy. No, I'm not. Stop over stuffing that pussy.
00:32:08
Speaker
I'm just saying, I'm not a cat person, but it's like, you know, is it really that hard to notice, hey, why is our cat 60 pounds? Maybe I should stop feeding it, regardless if it cries or not.
00:32:26
Speaker
if You got a 60 pound cat. You don't need a cat. That's called a mini lion. But yeah, I thought that was cute. ah Cute as in apparently dude wasn't hurt. He just got knocked the fuck out because no one died. died. No one died. i I'm kind of mad about that. But we're going to take a real quick break. I once again, because I don't know who the bad guy is here on either one of that case,
00:32:57
Speaker
or the case of the guy farting, we're going to play Matt James' bad guy for break. We'll be back in three minutes, 26 seconds.
00:35:41
Speaker
Don't paint that picture with those dead eyes
00:36:33
Speaker
oh Yeah, I like that song I have Welcome back everybody to WTF news All the news that is the news that makes you say what? um Right We of course are on the nonsensical network bio dot link slash nonsensical network don't forget Monday Speedway stories cold-blooded conversations with Wally and then I men character men not long after that with Connor Glick does Glick's house music on Tuesdays ah and then of course tonight is WTF news with myself and usually Glick and then of course Thursday tomorrow
00:37:17
Speaker
I'm waiting on response. However, tomorrow, Jeff's garage will be back if, if I get response tonight. we i doing and Well, I, he said he was in, but I just sent him a reminder. Oh, okay. And so, you know, and as long as he's, uh, still okay.
Interview with Arctic Blast
00:37:37
Speaker
Uh, and I, I gotta remind him of the time in Australia because he's in Australia.
00:37:46
Speaker
Yeah, that's math. um So it might be like two o'clock in the morning for him. So I don't know. But we're doing I'm interviewing Arctic Blast. Arctic Blast is a a new detailing system for your vehicle that uses dry ice.
00:38:09
Speaker
Arctic Blasting, sorry. um and so
00:38:14
Speaker
i Think it's pretty affordable and then of course Fridays nonsense and chill where we're gonna be watching Trains planes and automobiles one of my favorite all-time comedies ah chub it's it's a good movie i know yeah i'm justra is it up as it you You know, that's what's crazy you've only seen that book once tune in on Friday, I love that movie John Candy can do no wrong in my book. And then, of course, Saturday mornings, we have right around noon ish one right around that time. Eastern time, of course, we have Cassius Corner where Glick and his son talk raschling. Then, of course, Saturday nights is the nonsensical nonsense open door challenge where you can all bud come up and like shenanigans. Exactly. And then, of course, Sunday's unnecessary roughness, at least for the football season.
00:39:06
Speaker
So that is the lineup on the non-sensical network. So, biolink dot.com, you can check out all our links to our merch. There you go. Which is spreadshot dot.com. And you can spread us, or at least get a hat and put us on your. ah Yeah, get a hat like Blaze's. Blaze, um I have a question for you. um forty was the answer apparently I learned that recently. 42 is answering everything. so a that I'm gonna start answering every time somebody asked me a question. That's what I'm saying. 42. I used to say purple. I used to literally, I used to say, hey, hey, blah, blah, blah. I got a question for you. I'm like, yo, what's up? Like, answers purple. Anyway, go ahead. 4 times 8. Where do you buy your drugs?
00:39:57
Speaker
Where do I buy my drugs? Well, yeah obviously, don't give me out new dealers. Well, I mean, but I live, I don't live in a legal state, so I'm not going to say that. Understood. But let's say you're an attorney, you would go to a dispenser. But I'm not going to say that I live in in a state surrounded by other legal states. So I will say that I procure my bud from a reputable source. Well, ah you know, you you let's say you were living in Ohio, you would go to a dispenser.
00:40:29
Speaker
Yes. Correct. Okay. Well, unfortunately in Florida, even though they have dispensaries, they don't have dispensaries for cocaine.
Cocaine Jewelry Store
00:40:40
Speaker
A Florida man sold cocaine out of his jewelry store.
00:40:46
Speaker
Jewelry store. A jewelry store owner faces charges after months of long investigations found he was trafficking and sold cocaine out of his business.
00:40:57
Speaker
See, when you said, where do I buy my drugs? I only do one drug i drink. some Understood. Understood. But don't do cook like dont do the coke. And I understand that if they would have done weed, I'd be like, why? Just go to a dispensary instead of going to a fucking joystick. But my thought was, my first thought, my pun for this is you can go get a rock and a rock. Get a rock for your ring and a rock for your nose. You know, I'm just saying.
00:41:25
Speaker
But yeah, this dude sold, he is, hold on, I just saw your Pedro Martinez, 54, owns three jewelry stores in off Dalton Boulevard in Spring Hill. And he's accused of using his store for sell drugs. It's hard to judge how many people are coming here for a legitimate reasons. Things like gold jewelry and Engagement rings and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. But no packages and I get it. the The county sheriff, Al, I can't pronounce his last name, suspects that multiple drug deals a day go on at this guy's store. more Makes sense. Yeah.
00:42:19
Speaker
right at least he's in a storefront. Unlike the guy we talked about that was yelling people at a strip mall going, hey, you want to buy some meth? And then throwing bottles at them. No kidding. We did a story about that. This dude was throwing bottles at people. That reminds me of the movie Half Baked, where the dude, like Dave Chappelle's character is talking about where he buys his fucking weed. He's talking about the bodega. This dude is buying your cocaine in the jewelry store. Well,
00:42:49
Speaker
No, but the story we did about the guy that was selling meth out of his van. Excuse me, sir. Where do you buy your drugs? I know, right? I should have asked Jeff, are you a cop? What, are you a fucking cop? No, but we did that story about the guy that was he was yelling and throwing empty wine bottles at people, trying to get them to buy meth. And all I could think of when telling that story was Meatloaf and Fight Club chasing down the guys in that lobby trying to fight them.
00:43:19
Speaker
Oh, because he's right around but but I guess a jewelry store would be decent. Uh, when you think because it was large amounts of cash. Not when they bought something, it's usually not very big. Not only that, your, your customer base is going to be pretty straight, right? Like straight as in like looking, they're not going to be like, like,
00:43:49
Speaker
Like, oh, fucking, yeah, they're not, they're not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they're going to a jewelry store. Genius front idea. I mean, but obviously I'm not condoning. does Somebody go out and open a door um to sell drugs. However, it's a great front. Speaking of great
Fake Detergent in Latvia
00:44:07
Speaker
fronts. Do you want to hear about a laundering counterfeiting, counterfeiting a bus that just happened in, uh, in, in, in lot via lot via lot via.
00:44:19
Speaker
Latvia. Latvia. That's in Europe. Latvia. Yeah. Eastern Bloc, I believe. Charges two Lithuanians for countying fin counterfeiting. Oh my god, I can't even talk. Words are hard. Words are hard. Yes, for counterfeiting. That's the reason why we have that. Counterfeiting aerial laundry products and organized crime ventures. This is from the AP.
00:44:43
Speaker
So there is this line of laundry detergent owned by Procter and Gamble and its name is Ariel, A-R-I-E-L. And these two Lithuanians. Yeah, they sell here. yeah they Yeah. Well, they were busted on selling counterfeit laundry detergent. They had all the fucking boxes, the label. I mean, this is like like hundreds of thousands of dollars.
00:45:11
Speaker
781,000 to be exact. And what they were doing is and they were they were putting it on the market as real laundry detergent. You know, that's actually more common than you would think too.
00:45:25
Speaker
But when you think of like, like, like major crime or like counter counterfeiting, we've become bags, you know, larger detergent, like what's next? You're going to fucking go. and You know what? I guarantee it's really just candle wax. I mean, I guarantee that those guys when they got busted were just as shocked as the cops busting them. Wait a minute. Yeah, it's just water determined. It's just a lot of detergent.
00:45:53
Speaker
yeah over so what you're laundering la about laundering no church But if you think about it, there's money in it. You know, you know especially they're there you know if it if it functions. Let's pretend it does. They probably would have made more if they put their shit in a tide pod. okay For other reasons.
00:46:17
Speaker
just aint but yes I'm not mad at it, but I get it. I get why they would be busted, but it's like, really? 22 metric tons of fake washing powder. that's ah That's like a million bucks, dude. That's a lot of fucking laundry detergent. Well, here's the other thing. The material you need to make the fake shit, how much did you spend and how much property are you going to make out of it? You know what I mean?
00:46:51
Speaker
Well, they say in the article what, let's see. to Like what's the street value? Well, it wasn't like, it was just like fake material. It was just. Just like sawdust. It's like baby powder. Uh, aerial trademark along with packaging materials, labels, and false shipping documents. So like this whole thing, ah like one was born in 78. One was born in nine in 1990.
00:47:19
Speaker
Uh, yeah, it's, so they're getting like hemmed up for a course, uh, trademark infringement, ordinary, uh, counterfeiting, but usually I can hear counterfeiting. You're like, Oh, I instantly go to I'm making fake money. Right. Yeah. But you know, there's, there's and there's a huge market. There's a huge market of people with, you know, the fake Gucci glasses, the fake you know Gucci loafers. And those are, that's big money as well.
00:47:49
Speaker
But I've never heard the laundry detergent. 22 metric tons, man. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's like 3,000 pounds. 3,000 pounds to a metric ton, by the way. Oh, I'm sorry. And liquid detergent bearing the aerial trademark. So it wasn't just powder. It was liquid too. Which is still a lot of fucking. A lot of fucking shit. Well, speaking of the Popo. Fuck the Popo.
00:48:18
Speaker
a u.s fugitive my my u.s fugitive known as el diablo the devil was captured uh and he's been he's been at large for over 20 years they captured the devil apparently what uh but i want you to take a guess at um ah He was caught here in Mexico. Red-handed with a tail and a pitchfork? No, but he was caught at at work. He was caught at work.
El Diablo: Fugitive Cop
00:48:58
Speaker
What do you think his job was here in Mexico? Janitor. No, he was a pop. So who is the El Diablo? Like was he a sinner? Well, he he actually, 20 years ago, he actually murdered someone.
00:49:17
Speaker
outside a bar in Ohio.
00:49:22
Speaker
20 years ago in Butler County Sheriff's Office on the most wanted list was recently on an episode of America's most wanted. like um We need to know about you, Jeff. Be sure you're not a not No, because I'm not busted. Are you sure you're not framing a cop right now? I'm not a cop. Maybe. No, because he was actually he was captured in, um as I just read it, where he was. That's nuts. Well, I mean, I think it's pretty funny. You're from Ohio. You're in Mexico. I know, right? Well, the place where he killed somebody was outside of a suburb in Cincinnati. I've never been to Cincinnati, though.
00:50:05
Speaker
um He was captured in Zilpakbalan. Yeah, Cincinnati's south from where you were from. Yeah, yeah. yeah But yeah, December 24, 2004 is when the shooting had occurred in suburban Cincinnati. US Marshals ah said on Monday that the judge ordered that this guy held without bond. And of course, Mexico was like, here he is, come get him.
00:50:34
Speaker
Well, shit, you can commit murder in America and go to Mexico and be a cop. Apparently I'm in the wrong business, dude. I should be a cop here. Wait, did you just admit to committing murder? No, not murder, but okay. and If that dude can become a cop, this guy can. I'm just saying.
00:51:00
Speaker
Well, it probably helps that he's Mexican and he speaks Spanish, but whatever. well yeah prior Yeah, there is that you know, but yeah, I thought that was kind of interesting because you know You people joke all the time. Oh, you can kill somebody just run to Mexico. Yeah. Well Apparently they can come get you That whole no extradition thing is not real Because if you do something bad enough, they can still come get you Well, it depends on what country, some countries don't have extradition treaties with, with America. Right. But you, US s and Mexico do have an extradition treaty, buddy. For now, things like that could change in the near future. Oh, I agree. I agree. We'll see. But it's one of those things like if, if you, if you like robbed a gas station and then ran to Mexico, nobody's going to care.
00:51:56
Speaker
Mexico's were like, really, dude, calm down. like But obviously you murder somebody. It's a whole nother story. So. But, yeah, this dude was was he was a cop. He was a local cop in this town. He's 72.
00:52:17
Speaker
ah But, yeah, he he was extradited back to the state. He was a 72 year old cop. Yeah. but yeah He's now 72 years old. He was arrested on Thursday. Last week. Interesting. He'd be a cop at 72 years old in Mexico. and my my My wife's stepdad, he just retired um as a cop. He's in his 70s. Maybe I need to move to Mexico and become a federale. Right?
00:52:55
Speaker
So my last story but that I have for tonight, and I do have some personal, and not personal, but I do have some like scat stories to cover
Minnesota's Offline Eagle Cam
00:53:06
Speaker
in. Yes, as our resident scatologist. Yes. But for my first or my last, my last news stories, did you know that the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources had live cameras on, on Eagles? They're Eagle cams.
00:53:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I've heard that you can actually watch the nest. Yes. Well, they're down right now because the the the camera they had. Excuse me.
00:53:36
Speaker
um The eagles ah lost their nest last year. Oh, I just had a pop-up. So because there was a snowstorm in the way from okay in the nest, it all fell apart. But they sound like it was damaged. Right. So they went out and they spotted a new another nest with some other eagles that they're that they're setting up. Anyway, the the old camera because the old eagle from that nest that fell down come back just because it's a hunting area. Right. And the new nests that they found that they're going to set up a camera all goes online tomorrow at 6 a.m. So this is the first I've ever heard of this and I'm going to check in. It is on let me. Yeah, I think there's a website. he It's the DNR website. I will. I don't have the website.
00:54:31
Speaker
listed, but I'm sure you can do a quick Google search. But this is what I found like. Whoa. All right. So until the collapse during a heavy snowstorm on April 2nd, 2023, the female bird flew off the branch supporting blank nest, which was over 20 years old. So the nest set gateway was over 20 years old. Can you guess how much that nest weighed?
00:55:00
Speaker
Oh no, they they're they're not they're not lightweight. They're like 40 pounds. 40 pounds? I would easily say yeah. Dude, you're way off. 2,000 pounds.
00:55:15
Speaker
That eagle nest. Oh, they're living in a Honda Civic.
00:55:22
Speaker
ah Basically. On a Civic weighs 2,000 pounds. I know. That nest is 20 years old and weighed 2,000 pounds. And from the rate of the snow on top of that 2,000 pounds, that's when the branch. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you put another Honda Civic on top of an Honda Civic. big bre I knew eagles were big. and I knew their nests had to be big, but I never thought. That's big. 2,000 pounds. You're the size of a car. So if you go onto YouTube,
00:55:50
Speaker
There are several eagle cams. There's big bear. Uh, there's a South Florida eagle cam. There's a West end bald eagle nest. That is, those are just four that I just, I put an eagle cam into. What's up, not comment to your, uh, your stream the other night.
00:56:15
Speaker
I bet you didn't see. me who Lazy doesn't know my troll account yet. The type of soccer does, though. Well, we're going to take another real quick break. And then when we come back, I have a treasure hunt for anybody that's interested in trying. And then we got then we're going to get into the scat stories.
00:56:40
Speaker
so Um, speaking of 2000 pounds, uh, my mom, it weighs less than I do. I swear to God. She's also short. She's also shorter than me. Um, yeah, my mom, my mom is, is five foot even. Well, we know where the known genetics come from. Right. Um, but a Chevy Silverado weighs about 2000 pounds. So we're going to play, um,
00:57:12
Speaker
the song Chevy Silverado by Derek Wayne Douglas. You can be right back.
00:59:40
Speaker
Yeah, little I love that. So lazy. He I saw he was wondering what what your troll account is. Oh, it's too. It's too good to tell you. You'll just have to figure it out. He's he's a smart man. Yes. But welcome back, everybody. Yeah, go ahead. I typed in a comment, but it won't bring it up. Interesting. I know. Interesting.
01:00:10
Speaker
Anyway. Oh, yeah. I don't know how that works. Anyways. Welcome back, everybody. This is WTF News. All the news that is news make you say what the fuck. And we are on the nonsensical network. Bio.link slash nonsensical network. You can find all our shows, including the link to our merch store.
01:00:33
Speaker
ah nonsensical-nonsense.myspreadshop.com. And you can spread us on you like Blaze has spread us all over his head. There it is. Oh, man. I let nonsensical network just all over my head.
01:00:51
Speaker
please
01:00:54
Speaker
Sounds like a typical Saturday night. I get it. Oh, great. um Blaze, I have a question for you. Well. Sure. 42 is actually answered. But ah how how fondly do you remember the movie Goonies? I love that movie. Dude, you know why I love that movie I played. Right? Yes. Well, we are of that age that loves this movie. Goonies never fucking die. Do Goonies never die? This is correct.
01:01:31
Speaker
um So I think what we need to do is go look for the fin treasure, F-I-N-N.
Forrest Finn's Treasure Hunt
01:01:41
Speaker
And the fin treasure is this. So the fin treasure is a cache of golden jewels ah that was placed there by a gentleman named Forrest Flynn. He's an art dealer and author out of sand and Santa Fe, New Mexico. Now he's hid the treasure in the Rocky Mountains in the US
01:02:03
Speaker
And- Wait, there's Rocky Mountain somewhere else besides the U.S.? Yeah, it goes all the way into Canada. Oh, fair. Yeah. So, there are three different places. And all three, if found, total $1.3 million. dollars
01:02:28
Speaker
Now, originally, in 1988, Forrest Flynn was diagnosed with cancer. And he want he had no family. So he said, I have all his money from my art dealings. And and he was he was actually an Air Force pilot. Yeah, United States Air Force major. He won the Silver Star in Vietnam, by the way. um he He had you know amassed a a small fortune, and it
01:03:02
Speaker
Oh, I read that wrong. Each chest, each out of the three is 1.3 million. So 3.9 in total are buried in these chests. One of them has been found in 2020. So they're real? Yeah, they're real, apparently. And I just found that out, by the way. At least one of them.
01:03:26
Speaker
ah I literally just found that out, by the way. So what he did, when he found out he had cancer, and my first thought, and and you and I were talking about this before we started the show tonight, I thought this dude was just trying to sell books, because what he did was he went out and he buried these treasure, supposedly, is what I thought, and he self-published a book called The Thrill of the Chase, a memoir, a collection of stories about his life.
01:03:58
Speaker
And he he says, inside these chests are gold nuggets, rare coins, jewelry, and gemstones. Now, my first thought was... That's a real book. he said He said, in the book, there is a poem, and that the locations are in the poem.
01:04:23
Speaker
Now it's not like X marks the spot or anything. But my first thought was like, well, this dude's just trying to sell books, which my first thought also was this is a genius way to sell a shit ton of books. Tell people there's buried treasure at the end of it. Well, that was the shit way of me fucking posting me a link to the whole fucking thing and in in the chat. Yeah, that didn't work. It broke down. It broke it down to two fucking anyway. Go ahead. So.
01:04:52
Speaker
Now, unfortunately, the guy did die. He died ah in 2020 at the age of 90, by the way. Oh, wow. Good for him. It's not good that he died, but good that he lived a long life. Well, the funny thing is he thought he was going to, he, when he was diagnosed with cancer in 88, 1988, the doctor said, you got like a year to live.
01:05:16
Speaker
unless you get chemo and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, fuck that. I'm going to bury some treasure and write a book to help me want to find this fucking treasure. And I'm like, good on you, buddy. Fight, you know, die and fight the dying of the light kind of thing. And then he went into remission until 2020 when he passed. um And he did. put I think he put out a secondary book. But he he went on to write that he hit the chest in the mountain somewhere north of Santa Fe.
01:05:54
Speaker
Finn states that the stories in the book include hints to the chest's locations and a poem found in the chapter, Gold and More, contains nine clues that could lead the searcher to the chest. I'm just saying.
01:06:14
Speaker
If any of y'all out there are like Gooney and Spider, go for it. Right? I'm i'm not mad at this. um I would totally go fucking treasure hunt if I was wasn't 90. Hey, Blaze, you want to take a trip, get lost in the woods and go look for treasure? Oh, yeah, dude. Is there weird? Yes. It really stoned. Read me this poem and we'll find some fucking treasure, dude. I'm down. Right. I'm going to read this poem this weekend and I'm going to code break that shit and never get rich because I am just yeah but onener the book. I think the book was originally published. I actually I had I had just brought it up. And so think ah up again because my search engines fucked. Wait, wait a minute. I downloaded something the other day and now my Google Windows reverts to Yahoo and I don't know how to fucking turn that shit off.
01:07:14
Speaker
I know a way, but I can't think of it at the top of my head. So yeah here's the crazy thing. That 1.3 million each chest was 1988 money.
01:07:27
Speaker
So it's estimated that each chest is roughly worth about 6 million now. See, now I'm really starting to fucking thinking about this. Now I'm like, you know what? New Mexico is looking kind of fucking nice for a summer vacation, boys. Patreons focus the fuck up. how However, road trip.
01:07:44
Speaker
However, isn't New Mexico where that dude from 127 hours got stuck and had to cut off his own arm? Yeah, but we don't have to find ourselves in that same predicament to find money, do we? Oh, God, I hope not. Oh, no, because if anything, I'm getting Glick's arm off. Oh, yeah, I'll do that for free. That's a Saturday night, buddy. Sorry, Glick, man. It's like you and 1.3. Oh, no. $6 million. dollars I'm just saying but yeah I think this like if I ever you know granted I have kids and stuff that I could leave my money to when I die but if I was in this guy's predicament of like I don't have any family matters fuck a charity I'm gonna build a treasure hunt whoa
01:08:35
Speaker
This is, I think this is genius. And is it eight? I think this guy watched Goonies in eight steps. I don't really get intrigued by stuff like this, but the fact that one has already been found and there's still two out there. Right. Kind of makes me think that they're... it Right? Like, like the inner, the inner Goony in me, the inner kid inside of me is like, you know what, you know what? Let's go on a fucking adventure.
01:09:05
Speaker
you know we get our bicycles and rain slickers and like in goonies when we're riding up that hill and and Chris is fat ass can complain about not having a baby Ruth and or he can be he can be sloth you guy I just see click on mountains somewhere in Santa Fe going hey you guys I didn't find the trigger yet but I'm the champ
01:09:33
Speaker
a But I'm just saying, I think what happened was is this, you know, di what year did Goonies come out? It was in the 80s. Yeah. I want to say 86. It was definitely before 88. Right. So this guy saw Goonies and then found out he's going to have, he has cancer and he's like, I got a fucking idea. I'm out of the head. He went for a trick. This is genius. But once again,
01:10:05
Speaker
Being that one of them was found in 2020, all that time, granted, if none of them had been found, I'd like hoax. Imagine know like like two decades from now, dude, we're gonna be watching movies about this. Yeah, because like I said, until I just found out that one of them was found,
01:10:31
Speaker
I was like, this is just a really good way of selling books.
01:10:39
Speaker
You ready for some poop stories? I am. You are. I'm ready for some poop stories. All right. Well, since Glick is not here tonight, and there's no penis stories, and I didn't find any gaping ga orifice stories.
Tinder Date Mishap
01:10:55
Speaker
I'm still traumatized from the last one.
01:11:00
Speaker
So this first one is called the scat story unlock the deep cut memory for me. But I like to call it schmear schmear on the wall. o Art was here. Yeah. he ah yeah yeah there yeah see what i did there there you go you can So here it is. So I haven't told the story in a long time out of sincere embarrassment.
01:11:26
Speaker
And I do have pieces of proof before anybody asks. And don't worry. I didn't ask for proof. I didn i don't need proof. I'm not going to share the proof. I will take this person's story as is.
01:11:37
Speaker
and i was thinking before i dard to lowering
01:11:43
Speaker
this I think this is from the perspective of a woman. I could be wrong. Okay. So when I was single, before I turned 21, I was on Tinder and I met a guy.
01:11:55
Speaker
we will call him Tiny. Tiny was a welder in over 21 and I wanted to go out drinking. He lived in Hoboken, New Jersey, which is ah which is like a party town. so i was tempted to entire hello So I was tempted and enticed to go out with him. He swore up and down that he knew places he could get me into, knew the Bouncers and all that stuff. He's underage.
01:12:23
Speaker
and No, no, she's, she, no, she knows she it was before she turned 21. Right. And he was 21. So she was 20. Yeah. Yeah. She wasn't. oh like that what I'd say underage, underage to drink. Yeah. yeah I didn't mean underage. it Like she was 15 or something. Gotcha.
01:12:42
Speaker
so and They agreed to meet up with them. About an hour walked to the bars and not getting an end not getting in any of them. This person's typing is horrible. Grammar's atrocious. I was just so frustrated and simply honestly, I didn't care to drink anymore.
01:13:01
Speaker
But I guess he was having a good time talking or whatever. And the man insisted to get a bottle of wine and cook dinner. Obviously not a bright move to go to a stranger's house, but again, he seemed normal. Oh, he makes for a good story eventually. Yeah. So he cooked and I played with his cat and put on some movie and we talked. Yeah, she played with the cat all right. I'm literally reading verbatim.
01:13:29
Speaker
second So he cooked and I played with this cat and he put on some movie and he talked. Like, this is not me. It's just nothing. That is class A storytelling, buddy. just and i'm not but Whoever wrote it is like, what are you? Horrible. Horrible. And it was completely, completely normal.
01:13:54
Speaker
So over dinner, we're sharing stories, whatever. Again, it seemed normal till about halfway through dinner. The man just gets up and he goes and takes a shower. I just kind of sat there because I felt rude to keep eating and I'm playing with my phone, whatever. All of a sudden, my stomach got the bubbly feeling, not anxiety, more like I got to shit immediately. So naturally, I look around and I tried to figure out if this man That's more than one battery bathroom. My poor stomach was just making sounds and bubbling and I knocked on the bathroom door and I tried to turn the knob. Nothing. <unk> and Locked out of the bathroom and anxious as anything. I said, hey, can I use the bathroom? He said something like ah five minutes.
01:14:47
Speaker
and I didn't have five minutes standing in the hallway. It happened. I fully shit my pants, mind you. I'm about an hour from home. This is my first date with this guy. He looks wise out of my league, but I'm just standing there. I started crying because I didn't know what else to do. He came out of the bathroom. It was so calm and normal and sweet and wonderful and cool.
01:15:14
Speaker
Like, hey, it happens. Here's some of my clothes. Don't you worry, sweetheart. I got you. next united the shit So I got shower and I was like, I was thinking of my escape route. And she got dressed. I went to say goodbye and thank you and walked in his room to him smearing my poop and smearing in my poop while looking in the mirror and touching himself.
01:15:43
Speaker
Wow. Shmeary Shmeary on the wall. He really liked her. I don't know, man. Dude, I've been there where it's like, if I don't get to the bathroom the next two minutes, I'm going to need a pair of shorts. But I've never.
01:16:07
Speaker
There are no words, really. There are no words.
01:16:14
Speaker
like like Like my porn search is weird, but it's not that weird. Right? You're right. That's like, yeah. I've never been like, ooh, shit turns me on. No, no. Yeah. That's like, like you're, you're dating this person. Oh, they're a cold normal normal person. And then you, for some reason you pick up their phone and you go on porn hub and you're like, Oh my God, they're into fucking piss fetish. What the hell am I getting myself into? How the fast can I get out of this place? And how fast am I? Yeah.
01:16:45
Speaker
Yeah. Second story.
01:16:49
Speaker
And before I start this story out, I'm going to say, quote, I am a slut.
Explicit Sexual Confessions
01:16:55
Speaker
And I share what men do to me as long as it brings them pleasure. I have let men shit on my face and in my mouth and record it. I like being recorded. My pussy and ass.
01:17:10
Speaker
I've been gaped to extreme measures and my urethra can take a whole dick. Okay. Get the fuck out of my house, woman. You nasty. I love how much of a nasty bitch I've become since submitting to my master.
01:17:27
Speaker
who One, this is some respect jesus one, my master makes me do is find random men and blow them and let them fuck me. One time I dressed super slutty and went to a bathroom at a club. Sometimes I wonder if this was written by a man to tell you the truth. It sounds- Yeah, you know, it sounds a little bit made up. Yeah, I get it. I stayed in there and let whoever wanted to fuck me, fuck me. I left covered in cum and piss. Another time I met up with someone I met on a porn site and I let him play out his ultimate fantasy.
01:18:08
Speaker
He tortured my pussy in holes for hours and my tits and then fucked me. Afterwards, he shit in my mouth and I ate it. After that, I gaped my pussy and let him shit in my pussy. I left with my my pussy full of shit and shit all over my face and wasn't allowed to clean it till I got home on forever a nasty bitch that I love. it I don't believe it for one second. But if it's true, you nasty bitch, you need Jesus. you mean Jesus.
01:18:48
Speaker
Yeah, as you were reading you reading it, you said it sounds like it's written by a dude. It does. there's There are there's a there's a website that it's called sex stories where it's literally stories just like this.
01:19:02
Speaker
but it goes into way more detail and it's supposed to be, you know, erotic and stuff. It sounds like something like that. Like completely, it's like written by a woman. Sure it was a woman named Bob that's in his mom's basement combat. But yeah, this it sounds totally made up. i I don't believe it for a second. Well, so this is on confession. I'd like to meet her gynecologist and be like, dude, give me the real scoop. So this is on confessionstories.org. It's confess your sins.
01:19:31
Speaker
And I'm scrolling through. I'm trying to find my next one. I give out where it was. that that just sounds And I don't want to read some of these because I feel like I'm going to die. Her her dad must be proud. I'm just saying. Hey, I don't. It's possible. But no he was it yeah, it is. mo it true There are some weird people out there.
01:19:53
Speaker
So this one starts off with, sorry for my bad English. So, hey, I have to appreciate that because reading some of these stories and the grammar's that bad. yeah stranges beer funny and me triple that So quote,
01:20:09
Speaker
I have a scat fetish, but I never experienced it in real life before. I only watch scat porn. I mostly like when a really beautiful girl takes a shit during an anal fuck.
01:20:22
Speaker
A few days ago, I experienced something new. I'm on a train and I saw a really hot young girl in the euro of seats next to me. She was thin with blonde hair and wearing faux leather leggings with crop top with a crop top. I went to the toilet and as I passed her, I could smell the scent of her perfume. She was really hot. The surprise came when I was done and opened the toilet door.
01:20:50
Speaker
She waited there in front of the door. I was embarrassed and I told her, all I told her was, not go in there I'll give you the place. She smiled. I went back to my place and the truth is I was watching when she came back because I wanted to stare at her beautiful body. She came back for a very long time and by the and by then I had already had an idea. I was almost sure she was poop.
01:21:22
Speaker
Yeah, your grammar's bad, dude. I'm so mad. Yeah, dude. Sounds like it meant to say she went away for a long time and came back. Yeah, I'm sure she was. She was taking the shit. Yeah, she was taking the shit. Yeah. As soon as I got back, I went back to the toilet and now, oh my God, the toilet could barely be flushed down. There was almost all the poop in it. Her poop, I knew, I had to masturbate now. Started masturbating with one hand.
01:21:51
Speaker
And I took the poop out of the toilet, put it on my nose and smelt that I come quickly. I had to like hurry through that because I felt that. Yeah. I felt. I don't understand scat porn. I really don't. I don't. Because I had a buddy of mine used to tell me, does he ever want to give her a woman? Get over a woman. Thinking about her taking a shit. And I'm like.
01:22:18
Speaker
That makes sense.
01:22:22
Speaker
But apparently this guy's like, I won't ever forget her if I think about her bigger shit. i know I have one more that'll finish up the time, and then we will go ahead and get out of here. This one's a long one. This one is from January 28, 2022. OK. Quotes. When I was at university, i had a I had many crazy sex experiences, some of them weird.
01:22:52
Speaker
I always have had a adventurous girl I've always been in adventurous girl and I don't get scared by new things, especially if it's about kinky stuff. When I was in my first year I met this weird bald fat man working at the cafeteria interesting.
01:23:12
Speaker
He must have been at least 50 years old at the time. That was barely, and I was barely 18. I don't know how I really started, but I, but I began flirting with him while waiting my turn for dinner. He was actually pretty nice to everyone, but sometimes he was really, really strange. I can't explain why, but he was one of those people that you just don't know is a little scary for apparently no reason at all. That's definitely not me.
01:23:40
Speaker
this This already sounds weird. Yeah. Whoa. I think I've seen this movie. She's going to die at the end. Yeah, right. ah This continued through the first semester and around January had become very explicit.
01:24:01
Speaker
I just love the expression of horror and disgust in my girly girl friend's faces, seeing that cute, hot goddess that turned everyone on campus on flirting with and disgusting thing... that... with that disgusting thing. Sometimes I actually insinuated that he actually fucking me. Just to keep my friends wondering and talking behind my back. It really amused me. So she's sitting here flirting with... So she's a troll!
01:24:30
Speaker
She's, no, she's sitting here fucking with her, talking with this 50 year old dude while messing with her friends saying, yeah, I'm fucking him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's trolling her friends because she finds it funny. My first relationship actually was with a 25 year old, a 25 year old fat guy. He was actually a really good man. There's something about ugly men that feels so prohibited. Taboo, maybe that makes me really horny.
01:24:58
Speaker
I started to fantasize about that man. you don't know he turned andoist we're so sex slave so he maybe me be actually expecting I'm just going to say, this story gives me hope. All right. right on that was wanted all of a sudden One night after dinner so so yeah somewhere in the internet, there's a girl watching this going These two fat guys are kind of sexy. I'm playing DJ Diddles. I'm just saying.
01:25:36
Speaker
but One night after dinner, I got out of the cafeteria to pop a smoke. I usually go to the the alleyway. Okay, so when somebody says pop a smoke, this is definitely not in America. This is over in... Yeah, well, she said university. It's definitely UK. Yeah.
01:25:53
Speaker
I usually go to the alleyway behind the building to avoid those stupid brats that find tobacco annoying, right? I don't really, I don't really smoke before bed, but that day was all about exams. It didn't get a chance. It didn't get a chance to do it. I didn't. It's somewhere here that's me. china good Yes. Yes. I knew we were loved.
01:26:24
Speaker
ah yeah ah I didn't know it was that dark at night. In the dark, leaving the back door of the kitchen was him. or leaving the battle gate was him He asked me for a lighter and I gave him a cigarette to be polite.
01:26:42
Speaker
I don't remember what we talked about. The next thing I knew, we were kissing. His mouth tasted horrible and his breath smelled like like dead dog. I remember him very sweaty, drenched actually. He was very big. I'm around five feet and pretty slim. He groped me, pulled on my thong. He lifted my bra and funneled my breasts. I don't know why, but I was completely entranced.
01:27:11
Speaker
The rational part of me was screaming my brain just to get out of there. But my pussy just wanted it. It felt so dirty, so nasty. He got me dripping. The fat guy's right in the story, by the way. I call him. Right? He opened my mouth and spat on it. He was fingering my pussy so deep. I thought he was going to lift me up into the air by only using his fingers. I think I was actually on my tiptoes.
01:27:41
Speaker
Then he spat some more times. He told me to hold, hold it in my mouth. I felt, I felt solid snot in it. It was salty. It tastes like cheat beer. That's nasty. Whoo. This is a this eats therapy. This is a long one. This is a long story. chocolate good lord like Good Lord. He told me to swallow. I did.
01:28:10
Speaker
Next, I was sucking a sweaty dick. It wasn't big, but also not small. In the dim light of the moon, I saw under this foreskin was a complete mess, all white. I jumped on it and went to the base, rinsing any filth that was accumulated. It was hairy. He ordered me to clean his member and lick his, lick his balls.
01:28:37
Speaker
My eyes were just rolling back in pleasure. I cleaned also under his balls and between his legs, fingering my pussy and my butthole all the time. I came twice, once while sucking his cock. And second, he forced his head grabbing my ponytail to clean his anus. Yeah, I don't believe it. I need it. In fact, I wrote this story. I'm just saying.
01:29:03
Speaker
I need a I need a break. I need a drink. Yeah, oh Jesus. remember Wow. Where do these chicks exist? i He said he said it got dirty because that morning he went to take a shit and there wasn't any paper. I could see a thin layer of poop smeared between his butch butt cheeks. I dug him. Him pushing my head against his hemorrhoid anus.
01:29:32
Speaker
He tensed his ass cheeks just to make more difficult for me to lick it. I struggled a bit with his ass hair, but I was completely out of this world. To be used like that was ultimate submission. I need a cigarette. I don't even smoke chocolates. He leaned against the wall crushing my head between the concrete and his rotting shit stained ass crack. He was And he fucking farted. Not once, but three times. each Each of them longer and wetter. I sucked on it like a mad woman and come again. He jizzed in my mouth. And then over my thong, he told me to come to his place tomorrow. I walked through a less bushy path along the woods and reached my apartment.
01:30:27
Speaker
I was a complete mess, a pale shade of brown on my lips and cheeks and pubic hair all over. I felt like sh trash, but end up masturbating all night to that. I'm gonna fucking throw up. That's nasty. Whoo. We're not done. Oh, Jesus. It keeps going, buddy. Good Lord. So now I'm at his place, dirty old apartment law.
01:30:53
Speaker
He had fast food wrappers lying around, had a dog, a black rock whiler. Nice puppy, by the way. yeah almost and it's bobby was cool He almost immediately, He almost immediately threw me on the couch and sat on my face. He actually ripped my panties and started fingering me.
01:31:20
Speaker
Pulled my legs up and shoved the neck of the bottle in. It hurt. And I thought to get out, but I couldn't. He flipped me over the couch and face fucked my throat. He cummed inside.
01:31:35
Speaker
Wow. What the hell happened tonight, man? Where'd this go? Jesus. That's woo. Woo. Wow. That just sounds like not a good time for her at all. And we're not done. Jesus.
01:31:51
Speaker
He licked every inch of my body and ate me for almost an hour. He did this while pulling my buttocks up, while he sat on my face. First, he wore some dirty, shitty briefs. He made me smell them. And he told me to he told me he didn't shower during that week. He only showers on Saturdays. It was Friday night. I had squirted in his face and slapped my pussy for doing so.
01:32:19
Speaker
Then he flipped me again and sat on my back while spanking me for being a bad bitch. He made me rim him again, remembering me that it could be nasty if it wasn't for my help the other day. I thought I was gonna drown and miss the filth. The moisture I left in his anus had been running rotting all day. After that, he fucked me. He stepped on me the whole time, no protection, no lube, wrong.
01:32:49
Speaker
I was wearing a patch, so I wasn't tat concerned that concerned about getting knocked down. I thought about STDs, but I already sucked the animal dry, so it didn't matter.
01:33:05
Speaker
Ooh, we're not done. not done. Chocolate says we are back. Gotta pick up my laptop. I threw it out the window. ah What's up, Benji? What's up, Benji?
01:33:19
Speaker
Dude, that is nasty. That chick needs like a team of medical doctors. Oh, but wait, there's more. After he gummed inside, he beat in my womb nonstop for three hours. Dude, that right there. That's how you know it's fake right there. Nonstop. That's like turning the guts. That's how you know it's fake. That's how you know the fat guy wrote this story because I don't know, man. I don't know. Dude, I've never gone more than 45 minutes.
01:33:48
Speaker
He made my body his toy. After that, I lost count on how many times I combed. He grew tired of my pussy and went for my ass. At the time, I was still an anal virgin. Again, no, Lou. He'd come a couple of times in and left a gaping open. Oh, some blood on his dick and it really hurts. But it was total. It was a total turn on. He made me lick clean the blood.
01:34:16
Speaker
I was being raped and I liked it. I don't really know if I could have gotten out of it if I tried. All right, so whoa. I'm calling BS. Hey, so people have rape fantasies. I get that. But not like a kink, but it is it is out there. Keep shame.
01:34:42
Speaker
And I've been married for 20 years. I have four kids. but Yeah, but but it's one of those things, it's like... It's just... Like, I'm picturing this guy in my head, and it's not pretty. Like, the fact that she went over to his house after he wiped shit on her face,
01:35:10
Speaker
Why? While sitting legs spread on the floor, a chunk of shit flowed out of my gaping button mixed with jizz. He noticed and slapped so hard on my face. It was bright red. He said something that made my heart skip a beat. Eat it. I actually tried some of my own shit while doing some kinky stuff alone when I was a teen, so I did it. He made me chew it, by the way. I come so hard, I shrieked.
01:35:40
Speaker
The rest of the night, he ordered me to lean my head backwards over the couch while sitting on the floor. He spread his ass and sat on my mouth. He started watching some DVD porn while jacking off. I sucked his anus for hours, twitching because of the masturbation. He farted a couple of times, sometimes humping my face up and down. Before Donnie's got dead bodies in the basement. Before Donnie made me get out naked.
01:36:10
Speaker
And I walked to my apartment alone. I stopped to masturbate a couple of times, imagining someone catching me like this. These visits continued for the rest of of my degree, at least a couple of times a week. We never spoke about, spoke about nothing while together. I didn't even know his name. He called me slut or bitch or whatever. And I called him Mr. or Sir, or this is how I had I had him on my phone. My friends suspected something, but I never told anyone. Actually, I actually had three boyfriends in campus and had sex with them, but never told them why I left at night so often. I broke with one of them because he insisted I know there was something always. Don't even go for plan B, skip right for antibiotics. The end. OK, so.
01:37:04
Speaker
I'm not done. Oh my god. Oh my god. I am not done. Oh my god. I need a shower after this episode. I do too. I swear to god. I did many other things with that pig. He liked to catch up on recess for a blow job or a rim job. One day he pissed in my throat. I drank it.
01:37:29
Speaker
ah For then onwards, he used me as his urinal during work. He also liked to call me up during class just to push my head in his crack and fart. Actually, his assholes almost always infested with pinworms and he made me lick it for hours to ease the itch. He also burped on my face and it made and it made me tell how good it smelled. He made me tell how good it smelled. He enjoyed being treated like a superior and how much I liked him degrading me.
01:37:57
Speaker
I don't think I could say I liked it. I hated him. But the feeling of being so worthless made me go nuts. He made me a so he made me sign a contract to consent with my ID number and phone number on it. Around three months of, quote unquote, hookup, he made me a strange proposal. He presented me some serious whore clothes and asked me if I wanted to be a prostitute.
01:38:23
Speaker
I blindly accepted. He drove me across the state border in his truck to a nearby city and I offered my services near a truck stop.
Coercion and Regret
01:38:34
Speaker
When is the story stop and what the fuck is going on? Yeah. Yeah. Like, I hope this kid, this chick never has kids.
01:38:50
Speaker
but most is producting physical different Most of the guys I served were truckers. well obviously and normal
01:39:06
Speaker
how we met story it sounds way too familiar and up
01:39:13
Speaker
Most of the guys I served were truckers and normal stuff, occasional REM job, but nothing as extreme as that big. I made an average of a thousand bucks a weekend, but he kept those. He actually stayed nearby with a shotgun in his dog. If something happened, he ended up beating two men that went too far with me. What is too far with me? That was going to be my next question. What's too far? One of the lines.
01:39:40
Speaker
One of them, a young fucker, was raped by him for beating me during a blowjob. Holy shit.
01:39:47
Speaker
Wow. At one point, he threw me even further down the rabbit hole. Is there even further down this rabbit hole? I was gonna say, where is rock bottom? We tried everything, almost.
01:40:00
Speaker
He bought me at least a hundred different outfits and cosplay to fulfill his fantasies. We fucked outdoors on almost every park and shady road. I went naked on the leash, cats ears and tail butt plugs on all fours at night on campus plaza.
01:40:18
Speaker
He hid in my room and fucked me while I was talking with some teachers through the window. Made me steal all of my friend's panties and made me swallow one of my best friends. I puked them. and I'm sorry. I puked them while I got home. He forced me to go commando in miniskirt on a windy days and use a Bluetooth bullet vibrator to tease me during class.
01:40:45
Speaker
He got me high drunk and fucked me senseless and shoved a pair of his one month old socks in my vagina and his underwear on my ass. And I even remember tasting his sterile at this point on my strawberry milk. Wait, hold on. I even remember tasting his come regularly on my strawberry milkshake. I ordered at the cafeteria and regularly blowing a and rimming his dog before letting him fuck me.
01:41:15
Speaker
So this chick has no line. Guys, I think we're all going to hell after this one. I need to go get baptized. gee oh there's Oh, there's more.
01:41:30
Speaker
there's There's a few more paragraphs. Jesus another day. He made me an interesting proposition to become his personal toilet I already was used to tasting my own shit when I actually pooped during anal or while role playing as his pet I was rimming him one night and I felt heard of his rectum I wasn't it wasn't strange at all because it happened all the time This time ever he told me if I liked being his slave. I said I said yes then he said
01:42:01
Speaker
I haven't gone to the bathroom to poo in over three days now. Will you eat it? I rolled in pleasure, continuing the rim job. He got up and squatted. It started going forward. He moaned. I tried to suck it all, but couldn't. I don't know what the fuck he ate that week, but it wasn't a normal shit. It was colored green and had breasts of seeds in it.
01:42:31
Speaker
I chomped on it fast as I could. i ended up ah It ended up spilling all over my face. The first half was rock hard, the second creamy. Lastly, he sharded so loud and hard, it sent pieces of poo as far as my nipples. It was steaming hot. I combed, stained all over the carpet. He stepped on my face with his boot and made me eat it. I locked everything.
01:43:00
Speaker
it Felt like shit would never in I sucked the dusty carpet and licked between every crevice of his rubber dirty souls I swear I tasted some dirt covered dog shit. He must have stepped on earlier If we have any fucking listeners right now if you want to like pull up to my place and like night Put me on my misery go for it. I agree Jesus Wow, we got more The scat play persisted. His regular calls to drink up his piss ended on me licking his shithole till he pooped on my mouth. Sometimes you wouldn't let me clean my mouth, so I tried sucking everything out without it spilling. I don't know why, but usually it was like thick diarrhea. I also have no clue, but most of the time it was kind of sweet. My libido was just sky high. Normal sex didn't have any effect on me anymore.
01:43:57
Speaker
Once he wore a butt plug for a week and I ate like a cow to build up and that dirt. We weighed that massive shit. It was four pounds. I was totally brainwashed. I put on faces, those Japanese porn cart cartoons, anime, which he seemed to be really fond of on summer vacation between second and third grade.
01:44:23
Speaker
He locked me up for almost two weeks. He gave me dog food and made me drink in the same bowl as his Rottweiler, which course greater university sorry my brain just no you're good forgot you' um forgot i i forgot it was europe i was like whoa gave me tur he gave me dog food and made me drink in the same bowl as his Rottweiler, which mounted me.
01:44:47
Speaker
he didn't He didn't take him for walks, so everything that he pissed or shit it should be accordingly disposed of. At night, he always pooped on my mouth. He really grew fatter during those years, and so did I by eating shit. When I went to visit my parents' house in August, he gave me some of his shit and his dogs, apart from a couple of random turds he scooped up from the street. I didn't tell my mom it was for a project.
01:45:17
Speaker
We offered bathroom services at whore station. I ended up tasting around eight different dudes shit, all of them totally distinct in flavor. We could call toilets just just for me to drink their contents. I honestly don't know why I'm not dead, but I'm here. Another thing he liked was to open my vagina with gynecology forceps and shove a turd in there.
01:45:46
Speaker
he ta He taped it shut and left it there for hours. I had to make amateur masked porn videos where I untaped my most sacred hole and squeezed it out and ate it. This is getting pretty rough. Maybe the most regretful thing he did to me was during girls night. It was four of us. Maybe the most, including my childhood friend, let's call her Amy.
01:46:14
Speaker
He instructed me to deliberately close the water key on my toilet. Amy took a shit and a company and complained about it not working. Once they were asleep, I recorded my myself grabbing that wet cold thing, eating half, and putting it in my pussy the rest. Once I pushed it back out of coming, I mixed part of with Amy's hot chocolate. What the fuck is Amy's hot chocolate? She didn't notice. I'm so sorry, Amy. Amy?
01:46:44
Speaker
Amy, run. Fucking run. Run, run, run. Amy, Amy, there is such a thing called justifiable homicide. I'm just... who Once he flew to the other part of the country for a weekend, one last night after making all kinds of exhibitionist shit, he dragged me to a street, presented me four guys in gang banking.
01:47:08
Speaker
They used me as a toilet and cleaned their anuses with my long blonde hair as that pig used to do when I ended in classes. He actually got me pregnant three times but made me abort. I could tell a million other stories but that shit ended somewhere tragically. Upon ending my degree I told him I was leaving.
01:47:29
Speaker
He turned around and left me with the words in the air. The next morning on the mailbox was an envelope with the words, I'm sorry, written in pencil inside about 10,000 worth of cash from my slut work during three years. When I arrived at his place, the door was slightly open. There lying on the floor between bottles and bottles of beer was the pig naked. He blew his brains out with a shotgun while watching our amateur porn movies we filmed.
01:48:00
Speaker
The dog was nowhere to be seen. He shat himself upon dying. I took it, as well as the porn. I did not call the police. Now I am married, young girl. I found a nasty gentleman that likes that kind of stuff I enjoy and do not regret anything, well, almost. The end. That is all. i'm going I'm not going any more stories. That one just like shocked me for life. chaka Chaka said, this is the guy writing the story, by the way.
01:48:33
Speaker
There's no way that was a real chick. I'm sorry. This is one man like I'm done. Just I need to go shower and. Burn my clothes and the couch and I have to go pee, but I'm afraid to write because that dude might be in there. Or she might be in there waiting for it.
01:48:59
Speaker
So anyway, thanks for joining joining Jeff and I for what the fuck yeah this great thrilling story about shitting on people. Hey, don't forget, tomorrow, everybody gets to eat a lot because, you know, this chick will come by and clean it up for you. Strap in Chaka. I get worse.
01:49:19
Speaker
oh This chick had no line. Like we always say, wait, so that's the line? She didn't have a line to cross. Nope. The fact that the dog, she rimmed the dog. Can we not, can we not go back over this story? Oh, I agree. This, no, like we, I might delete this part of the show because I want to, I want to block out the last 20 minutes.
01:49:49
Speaker
and Two your hearts out penis story. Yeah. Well, no, trust me. I I'll take a penis story any day of the week and hear that story.
Reflecting on Disturbing Tales
01:49:59
Speaker
Right. it The two girls, one cup is tame compared to this. Yes. I wonder if she ever told her husband. I don't know. But I need a break. If it's real. Yeah. Well, actually, we're going to wrap up. um Thanks for everybody watching. Thanks for listening. We're going to end the stream now because I need to definitely take a shower. Jesus. like ah Makes me want to go clean my bathroom.
01:50:27
Speaker
um so Don't forget, tomorrow, roughly about the same time, seven o'clock, if everything goes as well. I'm still waiting on response. But we will have Jeff's garage tomorrow if everything goes well. If not, there won't be a show tomorrow. But don't forget, on Friday, 8 Eastern, we are going to be watching the Thanksgiving classic of trains, planes, and automobiles. Thanks, everybody. I need to go shower.
01:51:00
Speaker
Bye!
01:51:11
Speaker
nonsensical network fit for flavor every day movie talks new flicks hidden in display
01:51:23
Speaker
Ball crashes, touchdowns, epic plays You spinning, caption on latest face Gleaming cars, engines throwing up the urban stories we embrace tune
01:51:54
Speaker
nature's arrangement cars with muscle
01:52:03
Speaker
Network of nonsense, but the vibe is just right too near
01:52:15
Speaker
always on repeat
01:52:28
Speaker
need