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Talking Shttt/Men Caring for Men: Military Tribute show Part 1
30 Plays5 months ago
Talking Shttt and Men Caring for Men teamed up for our Memorial day show and were joined by some kick ass vets we shared some awesome stories and a lot of laughs as all branches were represented
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Transcript
Introduction to Military Show
00:00:17
Speaker
company always on the run Destiny
00:00:32
Speaker
is rising so I was born six born in my head behind a gun I made my final stand, yeah
00:01:15
Speaker
Till the day I die. Till the day I die. Till the day I die. Bevel's souls deserved as we are called. Chose a gun and throw away the sun.
00:01:47
Speaker
Now these times, they all know our name Sex comes out, here's our claim to fame I can hear you say
00:02:26
Speaker
To the DNA
00:04:35
Speaker
Wow. That's a kick-ass version of that song, man. Nice find. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm shocked that, you know, Brian picked it out, but, you know, I won't, for doing, for doing something right. I won't give him too much credit because he's not the one that put the whole thing together though. Uh, yes. Hello everyone. Uh, thank you for joining us for the, uh, talking shit, uh, men caring for men. Um,
Nonsensical Network Schedule
00:05:05
Speaker
military attribute probably said that wrong but anyways um tonight our show is going to be uh we're going to have five gentlemen uh pop in uh we're going to talk about uh their time in the military they're going to tell us some some stuff that you know could be funny of course i could just imagine what some of them are going to say um other than that uh if you guys have not checked out uh nonsensical network uh you should
00:05:36
Speaker
We have a lot of good shows. Every day we have a show. Most of them, I think, I think ours is the only one that really starts at eight o'clock and popping shit. I think the rest of you guys and Glick's house of music. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought it was seven for some reason, because most of the other shows are around seven ish. Yeah. But if you have not noticed my, uh, my, my.
00:06:02
Speaker
I guess my co-host is not here tonight. He might be, but he's not a co-host. He's actually a guest on the show. I have Glick from Men Caring for Men. What the fuck news? House Glick or Glick. Yeah, whatever. I always mess that one up. I'm sorry. I don't know why I say it the other way. But anyways, and then also for a nonsensical nonsense, the open door challenge.
Meet the Military Guests
00:06:35
Speaker
I am running a full fucking plate here. Yes. Okay. Give us one more minute, Rob. We'll start bringing you guys on. We're going to tell you about our other shows on the network. Of course, we have Mondays, which is men caring for men. It's what men, you know, have stressed, you know,
00:07:05
Speaker
what we, what basically, uh, what, what we don't talk about, um, in the world. And, you know, you guys have some great topics on that one. Men's mental health show gets a little, uh, it's a little crazy. Tuesday nights, our guy, Jeff, you can't see him on nonsensical nonsense and, uh, and what the fuck news, but our guy, Jeff goes out solo with Benji and, uh, he's doing Jeff's garage. Basically if it fits inside a garage.
00:07:33
Speaker
and it has four wheels and an engine. They're going to talk about it. They're on a little break right now, but hopefully they'll be back next week with a brand new episode. They've been doing, they've been, they've been having fun. I don't know anything about cars or anything like that. So I stay clear of that one, but Jeff does a good job. Jeff and Benji and Blaze and usually do a really good job together. And next week after his show, we're going to air a special show for talking shit. And we have a legendary wrestler, Mr. Al Snow.
00:08:04
Speaker
That'll be at 830. Before that, you guys need to check out Jeff's garage, though. On Wednesdays, we have a WTF. What the fuck news? And then they find the most fucked up shit in the news and they talk about it. And other subjects on top of that. And then Thursdays, these guys right here talking shit, they're coming at you.
00:08:31
Speaker
They got their guests. You guys actually got quite a, quite a packed house coming up. We got, uh, we don't have, uh, for this coming up, uh, Thursday, we don't have anybody. It's going to be, we're going to have it off because it's Brian and his, uh, wife's actual birthdays. They, they, Brian actually did something that most people don't normally do and have the same birthday as your wife. Yeah. So he can't forget her birthday.
00:09:00
Speaker
But give it up to him, he probably could. He could. Fridays, you know, it's the music show most of the time. And well, I think it's what so far it's every other week. First and third Friday, Glick's House of Music. It might change up a little bit. I'm starting to line up more interviews with more musicians. So it'll be according to their schedules.
00:09:25
Speaker
OK. And then Saturdays is nonsense. Well, nonsense. Again, it's the open door challenge. We dropped the link in the chat. We challenge, dare anybody who's brave enough to jump up on screen with us and hang out. It's unhinged. It's unapologetic. And if you are if you're a week of or if you're a week of heart, you're probably going to get your feelings hurt because we say and do it all we want. Oh, yes, they do. It's a great show.
00:09:54
Speaker
There's only one requirement. You have to have a camera and it has to show a person on it, not their junk. Keep your wiener in your pants boys.
00:10:05
Speaker
And we end the week on Sunday with Jarvis Podcast. He talks about movies. He's got other things coming up, too. But mainly he talks about movies. He's been having a few guests come on here of lately. It's normally eight o'clock, actually. It would be seven his time, so eight o'clock.
00:10:34
Speaker
I got we're gonna introduce them as I do I have actually pictures of them when they were in the military I asked them for it and Rob Miller will be the probably the last one I bring on because there's a difference between his picture and what he looks like now First one I'm gonna bring on is Brendan Roy He is the Coast Guard
00:11:02
Speaker
Hey, guys, what's going on? And he's also in the scary basement. Yeah, Rob's down here too. You just don't know it. What's going on? Yeah, not much. I was the Coast Guard, huh, Mark? Yeah, weren't you? You were the whole Coast Guard. I was the whole Coast Guard. Yes, you were. I was. Shut up, Ryan. I got a bone to hook with you guys.
00:11:30
Speaker
You coast guard guys try to kidnap me on more than one occasion when I lived down in Charleston. Nice. I used to go pest control and I had a couple boats that I treated and on more than one occasion, I'd be on the boat. They knew I was there because I was talking to the guys and they would just start to pull off and I'm like, yo, guy. What are you doing?
00:11:54
Speaker
All right, next we're going to bring on. I don't want to bring on Wes just yet. He's driving. So we'll give him a few minutes. We're going to bring on Connor who was in the air force. Is that better? That's better. Spent some time in the air force and some time in the army. I was one of those weirdos. Whoa. Double dipper.
00:12:20
Speaker
Double Dipper and I started with the Air Force and it's just dumb Facebook's having problems. I think
00:12:31
Speaker
I was trying, I was trying to look for, uh, I was trying to look for something so I can post it up and, uh, we couldn't find it. So yeah, it's weird because it's just spinning on my screen now. I normally watch it for the comments. The next one I, you know, is I just wanted the picture just to, uh, you know, screw with him. And that's my co-host Brian. How many years ago was that?
00:12:57
Speaker
He was in the Navy. That was like four years ago, bud. That was four years ago. Nineteen hundred. It's back when they had the big 1996. 1996. Were you on Washington's boat when he crossed the Delaware? I don't think that happened. That's that's all fiction. That's freaking weird.
00:13:25
Speaker
Um, and well, we'll bring in, uh, I'll bring in West next. So West South that he, he's representing the, uh, army city branch. Even though he's driving, they'll joll out a couple of times. Hey, he just wants to be like last time, you know, we had somebody driving in the car too.
00:13:57
Speaker
And last. Wasn't it the Air Force? Wasn't it the Air Force? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. He was late to his fucking monster, dude. And then he didn't stop talking for two hours. Yeah, he was. He kept having a medium. He told his commanding officer that he could fucking pound sand. I was like, you're fired.
Humorous Military Banter
00:14:18
Speaker
OK. And finally, I'm going to bring in the Marines. This is Rob Mello.
00:14:29
Speaker
And like I said, this is the biggest difference of any of them, I think. He definitely looks like a jar, like jar head. Yeah. Oh, I can see that. You got this cartoon, the cartoon jam. Correct. Yes. Yeah. Wow. We're not making fun of you. We're not making fun of you. We're not making fun of you. Like the penis envy is tangible. Sorry, yell at your dad.
00:14:59
Speaker
the fifth
00:15:18
Speaker
We've got apparatuses at toy stores, too. And who's the one that was ragging on the Army? I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Don't tell me that was Coast Guard. That was me because I was also in the Army. I did six and a half in the Air Force, and then I did three in the Army.
00:15:34
Speaker
Oh, so they dropped in the cards. That's all. I don't I don't razzle on anybody other than the Air Force, because that's really like because that's just because everyone bashes them. I mean, you know, that that's just what you do. I just try to be a wallflower and laugh occasionally and high five. That's it. That's all I do.
00:15:57
Speaker
Yeah, these guys get to show up there for us. They show up whenever they want. Oh, shit. Listen, we got to go to Iraq. There's some shit going on. All right. We'll be there in like a week or two. Yeah, we'll get there when there's AC. We need help. Oh, fuck. Don't get me started with that shit. Oh, my God. I've got a computer screen. I'll help you. Don't worry, guys. From my nice, comfortable AC. Fucking sadly wasn't my job. God, the army foot story is all I got to say.
00:16:30
Speaker
Where is Fort Story at? Fucking Virginia. Brian, you were stationed in Virginia. You didn't know that? No, no. Listen, anything in Virginia sucks, dude. I tried to get the fuck out of that place. Dude, this place was a fucking resort, dude. So we got there. We were the main force and we were supposed to, it was joint, joint ops and shit. And
00:16:58
Speaker
When we got there, the fucking cops were there. We got off the bus and the fucking MPs greeted us. It was like, Marines are not allowed off the beach. You're not allowed anywhere near and anywhere off base. And you're not allowed anywhere near the barracks. And I'm like, what the fuck happens? The advance party, apparently, went out for a night. And they had them a night. It only takes one. It only takes one or a dozen.
00:17:28
Speaker
it always takes one. There's always one in a crowd, dude. I'm telling you right now, it doesn't matter if you're Army, Air Force, Marine, or Coast Guard. There's always one, dude, and we know who it is. His name's usually Kyle. Or his name rhymes with Shrian. What do you mean, Connor? I'm not getting it. I said it rhymes with something. I never said who it might be. I never made any direct
00:17:57
Speaker
points or anything like that. Not at all. Not at all.
00:18:03
Speaker
Yeah. OK, we also have one more coming in. Yeah, this is quite an interesting one. It was the last space force or something. No, no. Oh, God. I was going to bring him with the fucking solution. Could they make an armed force more embarrassing than the Coast Guard? I was totally going to be I was totally going to scream tension under.
00:18:36
Speaker
Yeah, all right I'm gonna show the picture and then I'm gonna bring them on Oh God, what the fuck? Yeah, that's what I said when I seen it behind you
00:18:54
Speaker
who was who was on the job. That's a terrible. That's a terrible ratchet strap job, dude. I'm telling you right now that thing if I would have if I would have had the picture earlier, it would never have had that. I do. I said the gauges on that motherfucking is going to be. What's up, gentlemen? What's happening? How's it going, Blaze? Blaze, what branch were you in? Air Force, Air Force.
00:19:23
Speaker
the Air Force Chair. You had Blaze for the Air Force and you made me represent them? That's fucked up. See, I didn't know about Blaze until the, what, about 15 minutes before the show came out. That hurts my mind. Hey, Connor, I will. I would rather represent the Army. Well, actually, I will say this, Blaze has a way per to your mouth, so.
00:19:49
Speaker
if we got a drop from Roddy. No offense, dude. It's the beard. It's scratchy. It's no bueno. Fair. Fair enough. Fair enough. You know, Rob, the things that blazing will do behind the rest stop is is quite amazing. I'm just saying. Oh yeah. I figured it's going to go after some of the lubes though. Imagine what he'd do for a ****
00:20:15
Speaker
All right, listen, with the exception of Connor, because I know Connor had an incident with his face. Yeah, you did. When's the last time you guys have been completely hairless on your face? Since 2011? I shave every now and then, dude. Brendan? What was the question? The last time I shaved? When was the last time you shaved it all the way off?
00:20:45
Speaker
Like, like you're getting ready for fucking quarters in the morning and shit. No, probably 2015 2015. Connor was like two days ago because I was I was a border patrol agent for nine years. So if it worked, you got the girl. No border patrol. You can you when I was in, you couldn't have a beer. You can have a beer now. Oh, Jesus. They let you have fucking beards now.
00:21:10
Speaker
Yeah, army's talking about opening beards up again talking about it quote-unquote. Yeah Well, I mean operators and seeks are the only ones that I know of that are allowed. So
Military Experiences Shared
00:21:22
Speaker
I have And then there's the fucking people like look like I can't think of the fucking name of Habibi's I mean what? What the fucks the name of that religion
00:21:37
Speaker
Oh, Norse paganism, they claim Norse pagans. I just fucking said it. S-I-K-H, Sikhs. Sikhs, yeah. They've got the turban and the beard and all that shit, really, folks. I was talking about pagans. I'm a pagan, what about it? In the army, you can have a beard now, if you're a pagan. Really? Yes. Wow. Within the last three, four years, they changed that.
00:22:06
Speaker
Yeah, I think it was about two years ago. I need a new religion just so I can keep my facial hair. Well, if the world keeps us up, it's going to be recognized as a fucking religion. So let me go get my dumbass dog. You made sick. Was it just another Marine?
00:22:25
Speaker
What? I don't fucking think so. Mom is going to come through the camera, he's going to come from blue, bro. That was great. He still has that devil down. Dude, he's going to knock on your windows at night. Let's go. It's happening. You got to talk in my good earwet.
00:22:56
Speaker
that's a joke. Neither of them are good. They're all fucked up. Yeah, that sounds about right. I know. I keep getting the ads for. Hey, were you at Camp Lejeune between blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
00:23:26
Speaker
I was a damage control man in the Navy and they keep sending me the thing for... Have you ever played with AFF? And I'm like, fuck yeah, we used to fucking bathe in that shit. What's damage control? And here's the damage control. Have you ever what? Firefighter. Okay. And it's the AFFF one. Have you guys seen that? AFFF? Is that the form?
00:23:48
Speaker
Yeah, the foam. Yeah, it's fine. But then I asked the, so I go to the VA and the VA is like, yeah, you just got to go over there. And do what? Like, they don't give you any direction, bro. Literally, they point and say over there. You got to get a patient advocate, Doug. I'm just trying to figure out where over there is. If anybody knows where that is, if you could fucking enlighten me. Where are you? What state? Florida.
00:24:19
Speaker
are you in north central or south north north it's actually considered central no we're not we're not central we're armpit yeah i know but they call us the central part of it we're north central so your ocala area yes yeah yeah based out of gainesville
00:24:42
Speaker
Uh fuck. What is it? Go to uh Saint Pete. Saint Pete? Yep. Hit the beach while you're there. Ryan hits the beach every **** day. It'll give you warm memories of watching real men storm on the beach. Oh, come on now. Come on now. Listen, you guys rode for free. So,
00:25:10
Speaker
No, I didn't. You guys got to ride for free. No, he didn't. We had to put up with just shitty food and you're ugly women. I'm feeling a lot of sexual tension here. Yeah. Brian said he gave you a free ride and you're angry about it. All I'm saying is the village people didn't make a song about the Marines. Listen, all those ugly women that you were looking at, they were men just giving you a heads up. So.
00:25:38
Speaker
They just identified as bearded men. Thai boys. They can identify as whatever the fuck they want. Whatever you while you want over there. If you're if you're there, where do I go? I think we could probably spend the duration of this whole thing just ragging the shit out of each other and laugh. Let's not do that. We could. No, I mean, that's I think it'd be a good show. It'd be funny as fuck. You laugh. This is almost in the room. He's so frozen.
00:26:20
Speaker
I didn't know you were in the Navy. Another squid. We talked about that. I know you had a lot of bourbon to drink it, but we didn't talk about. I was pretty drunk that night. It's one of the few things I remember of Saturday night show, but yeah. So guys, I heard your I heard your branch, but I didn't hear your. Your resume, not military in film and whatnot.
00:26:31
Speaker
Uh, he was standing at attention. That would be, it was great. It was good. You, you were almost there at attention.
00:26:54
Speaker
I started in my high school, one act plays, moved on to set design. Sorry. Steven's not here, he's a part of this group too. Steven worked the casting couch. Steven was the casting couch.
00:27:19
Speaker
Is this the gingerbread? Yes. That gives new definition to the term best boy. He was a grip. Hey, he was, yeah. He was the fluffer. I did a couple of commercials. Commercial commercials. Those are the little movies that people make in between TV shows. You mean the bathroom break time? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Intermission.
00:27:49
Speaker
Yeah, those are the things. Yeah, but Brian, yours plays on social media, too. So, you know, they're on social media. And Brian, I can't really hear you. You choke up on the mic a bit. No, I'm not joking. I can't fucking hear you, dude. Is it is it for dick pills, Brian? What is it for? Can you hear me now? Yeah. What the fuck? I got you, Brian. Yeah, I can hear you, Brian. I got you, Brian. A little deeper, buddy.
00:28:24
Speaker
I was looking for a kid. We're used to that motion, aren't you, buddy? It's very natural. My wife makes them all the time. What the fuck is the problem? Oh, that's what the kid's weird. Uh, yeah. So commercials for me, movies for Rob. Connor did, uh, what did you do there, bud? One.
00:28:50
Speaker
in the in the movie scene. Yeah, nothing. What are you talking about? It was a rough question. It's not my question. It was a rough question. I just assumed everybody was in the industry. No. No. Oh, OK. Cool. I just do podcast streaming. So. Oh, yeah. So I guess just just the shows. So on the nonsensical network. Well, then you get the question because. Yeah, Saturday.
00:29:19
Speaker
all good. But porn still works. Yeah, that was what my original assumption was, was you were asking what our what our porn resume was. Well, you went to TJ once, didn't you? I'm not nice. I'm not on TikTok. I can fucking say what I fucking want. Nice. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:43
Speaker
I don't know if gay porn qualifies as like, you know, sag after a material, but you never know. Brian, that's what you were on. You were in one of the commercials at the beginning of the porn, porn now that you have on online. I was announcing the, uh, the Connor isms that we're about to have being
00:30:13
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I got nothing dude. I'm not funny. I've already told you guys this I'm not We were there we were there for the roast of Glick everybody everybody just about well, I mean Brian looks don't count so yeah, you're kind of fun. Thank Christ So I want to ask you guys
00:30:40
Speaker
All of you guys kind of individually and whatnot, because everybody has their own reasoning or whatever to join. Obviously, Connor, I know your answer, but feel free to tell everybody. What was it that caused you guys or made you guys want to enlist and go in the military? What was it for you guys?
00:31:00
Speaker
We'll start with blazing down there at the bottom. I guess we can kind of work our way around. Well, my pops was army. So, you know, I figured, hey, military life, I was already used to it as an army brat. But he did give me the advice that if I was to join, don't join the army. Air Force takes better care. And I don't know, I felt a sense of civil duty to to serve, I guess. So. What about you, Rob?
00:31:31
Speaker
Wow, you bounced the fuck around, huh? Hey man. Uh, well, uh, my, uh, what do you call them? The counselor, the career counselor, whatever, uh, sat me down after SATs were taken. Now SATs are in a set of two. Uh, after the first round, he was like, dude, you're fucked. You're going to have to wait a year to go to school. I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:32:01
Speaker
Miss the SATs you didn't take it. You're gonna have to take the next round blah blah blah. It's like alright. Well fuck that my older brother Complete bag of shit like from birth to grave this dude's just a bag of shit Fuck it. Sorry. I call it like I see it and And like you went to Fort Leonard wood for boot camp never graduated
00:32:30
Speaker
Broke his knee running in formation to chow. I'll say that again. Running in formation to chow. My brother fractured his knee. And ever since then has been enjoying freebie after freebie after freebie. He now has PTSD. From running.
00:33:01
Speaker
So that bag of **** got home and I'm looking at him. I'm like, dude, you're pushing **** thirty-four and and you've you're now I don't want I don't want that. I don't want to stay home. Yeah. So I'm like like in every sport in everything I've ever done, I've always been the first pick. You know what I mean? Because I'm a bad mother **** I know my **** I'm I'm you know what I mean?
00:33:25
Speaker
So I'm like, I'm at the fucking YMCA playing ball with my guys and this fucking kid walks up. He's like, Hey, do you guys just graduate? I was like, Who the fuck is, you know what I mean? You're a suspect immediately. He's like, no, no, no. I'm a Marine. I just got back from Paris Island. That's the motherfucker hit me with the recruiters assistance shit. And I'm like, I kinda grew up in,
00:33:52
Speaker
with the notion of a paladin. For the longest time, I wanted to be a priest. But I'm really good at fighting. I'm really fucking mean. So if I'm going to join the military, the United States military, I'm going to join the branch that makes people shit themselves before our boots ever even touch the fucking ground.
00:34:23
Speaker
Sun Tzu, you know to me so I just I joined to protect the people that couldn't fight for themselves because I'm strong and I Totally believed in and you know the bullshit of you know, rah-rah America, you know, we're always right.
Motivations for Joining the Military
00:34:39
Speaker
We're always doing the right thing And even when we fuck up we mean well No, that's not fucking reality. I found that out the hot way. I
00:34:48
Speaker
but my intention was to protect the people that can't fight for themselves and Fight again. I've never I was always a bullies bully. I always beat the fuck out of the bully So I get to do that on a global scale fuck it Yeah
00:35:15
Speaker
I mean, really, you know, honestly, how badass are you? I've seen you get taken out by 110 pound blonde. It was in the script. I don't want to hear it. Yeah, we're going to blame a script now. Yeah, but you know what? I snapped that little fucker's neck like that. I will say that's one of my favorite movies.
00:35:37
Speaker
Well, thank you, dog. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I dig in there. Sorry. That's that's cool, man. That's I think that's kind of like I know Connor and I've talked about it with him. One of the military. I think that's for most people. I think it's kind of the common thread. You just want to be a bad ass, you know, and do bad ass things.
00:35:56
Speaker
Well, I mean, I didn't want to be the pretty marine, you know, the one on the poster board. I wanted to be the one that kicked the fucking door in and like, all right, like this, right? That is a pretty marine on a poster board, right? Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, Doug. That was the epitome of being a marine, dude. That's I mean, that is what.
00:36:24
Speaker
if I had a bone structure like yours, I would have probably been a marine too. Blame it on the bone structure and not the testicular fortitude very well. No, but like some years ago, uh sedan was having uh oh god, what the **** was it? Like a civil war. Uh but the bullies were called the
00:36:52
Speaker
I practiced, I totally forget now, but I practiced the local language to where I had, your nightmare is over, America is here, fucking memorized. And I, you know how you envision before you do, at every fucking vision of just some motherfucker doing evil ass shit and him seeing me and them legs get to, yeah.
00:37:23
Speaker
motherfucker and I was gonna hit him with the line and hit them with the line and fucking pop. Come on, ladies. I fucking love that. Yeah. That movie coming out. Yeah. I said, when's that movie coming out? It's still going on. Yeah. That's not written yet.
00:37:51
Speaker
just real cool. Why do I not expect anything else from Riz other than this college fell through on Thursday, found out I was going to be a father on Friday, joined the Navy to see the world on Monday, got married on Wednesday, reported to boot camp the following Friday. That was a good day. And got kicked out after Sunday Liberty.
00:38:19
Speaker
That guy's one of the coolest dudes in the world. What's up Hunter a lot, man? Appreciate you being here brother. What about you, Brendan? What made you decide to be the entire Coast Guard as we all were?
00:38:31
Speaker
So he's the reason my fucking weed guy can't fucking replenish that motherfucker. Exactly. Actually, actually, I caught a lot more weed when I was aboard a patrol agent than I ever did as a coast guard. But yeah, we won't we don't need to talk about that. Yeah. Oh, let me screen grab you now. Give me an address. It's written.
00:38:56
Speaker
Yeah, so I think for me, it wasn't really so much a noble reason as much as like I knew I didn't want to do college and I knew I didn't want to stay home. And I didn't really have many skills otherwise. So I actually tested in the army. No, Rob, I was really good at that. But that just wasn't paying at the time. So you were no good at anything, but yet you picked the Coast Guard?
00:39:43
Speaker
So they, it's part of the American armed forces sometimes sometimes when we're under, when we're under declared war, it's under the department of the Navy. However, they don't declare wars anymore. So who the fuck knows where we are. And then department of Homeland security happened. Then they went under that. So, um, yeah, they, they served brilliantly in world war two, dude.
00:39:49
Speaker
that's because the coast guard barely counts as the real military, so it makes sense.
00:40:10
Speaker
Actually, yeah, the US Coast Guard has actually been in every major war. You wouldn't know it, but they're there. So, uh, excuse me. So, uh, yeah, so mostly I just wanted to do something rather than nothing because I see a lot of people that just take a year off and then never go anywhere. So, uh, basically I, uh, I actually tested with the army and was looking into the Navy because
00:40:37
Speaker
I had a grandfather that was in the army and then I had my father and grandfather, other grandfather were in the Navy. So I was kind of milling between those two and then I saw an ad in like a magazine of the Coast Guard and then I actually, I was working at a ski mountain and these two dudes showed up and they were actually reservists in the Coast Guard and they actually talked me into talking to a recruiter.
00:41:03
Speaker
Uh, so guys told you to, okay, I'm just keeping, I thought, I thought he found a coupon in the magazine and was like to the coast guard and he taped a penny to the Columbia house. Well, see, unlike, unlike Rob, like I'm, you know, I, I didn't really, I mean, I saw the coast guard and they were like, Hey, like we go rescue people. And I'm like, Oh, that's cool. Like I like to help people. So in a different way, Rob, you like, I like to help people too.
00:41:33
Speaker
I was, well, I didn't want to go there. I mean, but yeah, I mean, so.
00:41:41
Speaker
So yeah, I was like, yeah, I can go like go save people. Uh, that, that, that would be pretty cool. I could jump out of helicopters, which never happened. I did go up in one. I never jumped out, but I was going to say, what was your job, dude? Yeah, I was a boat driver. I drove boats. So in the coast guard, there's only like eight ratings. So you really don't have much of a choice. I mean, did that translate over into the city world?
00:42:06
Speaker
Oh, no, it was awful. That's why I fucking hated my time there, which is like the worst decision I ever made. Oh, yeah, like if I would have wanted to go get my six pack license or my tugboat license or be a, you know, be a mariner. Oh, yeah, it would have been great. I could drive fairies and stuff like that. So it's really extremely competitive. It doesn't pay extremely well.
00:42:30
Speaker
And yeah, so it didn't interest me. So I actually, before I left, I actually changed ratings to Airmen and I was gonna go to rescue swimmer school, but then that just fell through.
00:42:47
Speaker
piece, piece on the piece out. So, um, but yeah, no, uh, so, yeah. So I would basically went in for, uh, I was like, Oh, the chance to pay me, maybe save somebody and I'll get some money for college at the same time. And we'll see how it goes. Why not? You got to go back then. What's up? Do you use the money? Oh yeah. Multiple times, multiple, multiple times over. So I actually paid for my plumbing apprenticeship.
00:43:16
Speaker
It paid me while I was in the border patrol Academy. And then that the money that I got from when I was in the border patrol Academy, I, uh, you know, they give you a lump sum. So I bought an engagement ring with that. And then, uh, yeah. Yeah. So they, it's, it's great. I got three kids and see you've got a good hot. That's why, sorry, I'm from Boston and you motherfuckers can understand me.
00:43:43
Speaker
Listen, buddy. I'm a master. I'm a asshole too. You don't have to apologize. I'm not hearing her in my feelings. Oh, I'm from Gaddna, G Vegas, baby. Way to fuck out. You know it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Fucking Gaddna. Yay. Furniture capital. Furniture capital of New England. I got this, dude. You motherfuckers better be grateful that he and I are on here because the fucking seltzer on as we speak.
00:44:16
Speaker
yeah that's right nobody cares about the Celtics other than people from Boston okay that's accurate you are you know that the Celtics will probably win that series like four to nine the Celtics I think are gonna win it all this year and I hate to say that they're probably the best I need to say it but I think they're gonna win it all this year yeah they look pretty dominant
00:44:36
Speaker
But sorry, get back to GI Bill. They had just changed that when I left, or the year that I was leaving the Coast Guard. They changed it because it used to be that you could not use it for any technical college or vocational school at all. It was only for college courses. It would not count. I don't know who did it, but I want to kiss that person. Whoever got that changed, that was awesome.
00:45:03
Speaker
Because being paid being paid twelve dollars an hour as a plumbing apprentice, you know, even in 2002 sucked balls I Used mine for for MMI. I used the they changed to the post-9 11 and it was October 2011 when it went into effect protect schools and shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. Yeah Agreed. I use mine to be a history teacher, but that didn't fucking pan out. We ran out of money. I
00:45:33
Speaker
Just real quick, I just currently got approved for Chapter 31, so I'm going back to college on the taxpayers dime. Rob, if you're a Massachusetts resident and you go in the military, you get free state college for life. I'm in Indiana, dude. I don't think that matters. Now you can take classes online. Really? Yes, you can.
00:46:01
Speaker
I'm pretty sure you could do that. As long as you do that. Interesting. Good looking up, Doug. Remember a puddle pirate told you that. It's fine. It's fine. You know, the sun shines dog's ass twice a day. Every day, baby. Everyone.
00:46:25
Speaker
It's all good, though. I don't mind. I can tell you guys why Brian went into the military. It was really simple. He was just board of Citrus County. That was it. I thought it was just because he was a huge fan of the village people. All right, listen up. I just thought he was a huge fan of cocks. So whatever. Well, he was that, too.
00:46:54
Speaker
who's next I'm going for digital photography no dude learn how to use drones I will I that is definitely gonna be looking to look into SDI they have a drone program before we get to the next guy who what is chapter 31
00:47:16
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. So like I said, I use my G.I. Bill for to be a motorcycle tech, but my disabilities will a bad arm, bad carpool, knees and feet like I can't. I wasn't the nuts. Yeah, that too. So I wasn't. So I wasn't I wasn't able to keep up with other decks and move up to be proficient because that shit held me back.
00:47:42
Speaker
So you can apply for VRE and you can get, and you can get more college money. And so I got, there's chapter 13 and chapter 31 chapter 13. If you do it early enough, we'll actually give you BAH. And Daniel, that is chapter 31. I, I missed the deadline for chapter 13.
00:48:00
Speaker
Chapter 31 will pay for your college. They're gonna pay for my laptop, my camera, my software, and all that good shit. Dude, BAH. I got a fucking army of kids. I just said BAH. Never fucking tell us about this shit. Like, nobody tells us- They don't. They don't know. That's why- It's all over the mouth. That's why we're here, Doug. This is giving me PTSD.
00:48:26
Speaker
I need to go. I'm going to have to see mine. Me too, motherfucker. Connor's next, by the way. That's a two-part question for you because because you're dumbass did one, did one. Not just once. You know, you were in the Air Force and then you're like, oh, well, I'm not done.
00:48:48
Speaker
I asked it, let me re-enlist into the Army. So I guess part one, why did you go into the Air Force? And then part two, why did you want to sign up for the Army? Real quick, did you have to do two bootcamps? Yes, I did. So, yeah, I did. So, yes. Hold on one second. Wes? Yeah. Okay. I wanted to make sure that we can hear you. Okay. Yeah. I finally got home.
00:49:14
Speaker
All right. All right. Go ahead. Internet not McDonald's style. Yeah. I mean, I just fucking I joined pretty much because I just wanted to fucking I felt like I had a duty to. I was willing and able. My dad served, my grandfather served. You know, you get the lineage of being in the military. That's just kind of how that fucking works. And I felt like if I didn't serve, I would be doing it. I'd be doing a disservice to my country. And then I joined and I was like,
00:49:43
Speaker
This kind of sucks. I spent six and a half years six and a half years in the Air Force and that was in the fucking Air Force. And then I got back from Afghanistan and I was like, shit, I want to keep going. But I wanted to go back to Afghanistan and not just fucking sit and be a little fobbit and then join the army as an infantryman because I wanted to go kill people. And then
Challenges and Camaraderie in Service
00:50:06
Speaker
my spine collapsed. And now we're here. Your fucking spine collapsed?
00:50:13
Speaker
Oh my, the discs in my, in the lower part of my spine are just fucking gone. There's nothing below the waste works anymore. Yeah. I had a, I had a surgery that went super fucking sideways. Oh, we make this happen all the time, Rob. You won't offend me, man. I turn around and ask, is it in yet? That was the joke, man. Connor went from being, uh,
00:50:41
Speaker
fearless and protecting the country to his number one nemesis now is stairs. Man, those bitches fucking hurt. Dude, you'd be surprised.
00:50:53
Speaker
When when you can't use something that you're so used to using, like I fucked up my back somehow and I'm trying to I'm on the shit trying to wipe my ass and I can't fucking get to it. And I mean, I got long ass arms. I call I call the boss. I'm like, babe, I got a fucking request. We married. And she's like, what's the matter? What's the matter? I'm like, I might need you to wipe my ass and to her fucking credit.
00:51:21
Speaker
like a boss bitch. She went. Yeah, she's. All right, come here. Yeah, I never had to wipe my I never had to have my wife wipe my ass. I always had long enough arms to reach without twisting. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, she had to bathe me, though, for a solid month and a half. And that was just fucking talk about ruining your manhood. It's just throw it out the window. I fucking hate it. I'd be OK with that. I'm like.
00:51:48
Speaker
I was okay with my wife doing it to me for six, eight weeks. Everything. I'm totally okay with that. My wife can come and bathe me anytime she wants to. Honey, I got fungus growing back there. Help me. Which is why she hasn't done it. Eventually, eventually, dude, I I was it. I was like, you know what? Let me give it one more shot. I gave it the college try was fucking agony.
00:52:18
Speaker
But man, I was just like, wow, you're pretty fucking awesome, dude. She's like, hey, we got fucking married, dude. That's awesome. That's right there, man, because she's not going to run away after that. She's not going anywhere. No, no, no. I mean, like I could focus for a living and she'd be like, OK. Well, I thought somebody's favorite snacks.
00:52:46
Speaker
Hey Rob. Box and crayons. You hungry? What? You shut up in color. You shut up in color. You're cute.
00:53:02
Speaker
You know what's funny? That's not offensive to me when I've got such a massive fucking cock, dude. I mean, I look beyond my fucking Pekka over at the hills and the mountains in the distance, and I see you guys holding crayons. And I'm like, I'm good. Thank you. Yeah.
00:53:30
Speaker
I mean everybody says I got a dicky do it. I'm like, you know, that's not true cuz I can still see my dick I Can still see mine, but they say I have a dicky do array for the magic of mirrors That's a good point Yeah, it makes so much fucking easier you don't have to I Didn't fucking hear you Brian
00:53:58
Speaker
Are you serious? You can't fucking hear me. Fucking I told you, dude, we can't hear shit. Yours is going in and out. You said something like you sound like you're at the other end of a tunnel. You're going to have to put your headset on, aren't you? Bitch, no. Hang on. I also keep muting your mic because he's got all that steam in clogging up his throat. How about now? Well, I didn't fart smell like Rob's dick.
00:54:28
Speaker
Yeah, I can reach him from here, but I choose not to. Fuck, man. Let's make with the questions. What's up? Yeah. So there was a new joint. Yeah, Wes. Wes and Brian. Yeah. Better or worse? Yeah, we got you. Is that good? I'm not touching the mic.
00:54:54
Speaker
Don't touch anything. Yeah, just anything. Brian, put your hands where we can see them. Above the camera. There you go. There's the Navy I know and love. There we go. Helicopter, helicopter. There you go, guys, dude. OK, what's going on? No, you've got to open your mouth. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, he's like, ah. Of course we had fun on this ship. Brian's like, who wasn't that fun?
00:55:21
Speaker
Nice and nice and big and wide for us. Oh, fuck. Can you how do you do a background? I want to I want to. Oh, wow. You got a settings and another one down says virtual background, virtual background and then pick something. What you got? So I was asking the guys and we'll get to Brian. Brian, I'm saving you for life because this is technically your show. But Wes, I asked the guys
00:55:51
Speaker
What was your reasoning for joining the military? What was your reasoning for enlisting? I mean, for me, honestly, it was something I wanted to do when I was younger. And I went to ROTC in high school. I was ready to go. Then I was actually in a car accident, broke my knee. And I started spiraling out of control, went downhill.
00:56:19
Speaker
and woke up one morning going, if I don't do something with my life now, nothing's ever going to change. And luckily I got passed by maps and I went in and it changed my life around for the better. Lucky son of a bitch. I was, I was spiraling out of control. I really was. So you banged the nearest chick too, huh? Cool.
00:56:43
Speaker
So ultimately joining the military kind of saved your life in a way. Yeah, it did, but then the PTSD, the depression, the anxiety, all that stuff that comes afterwards that they don't really talk about that we're doing now. Don't worry. That's Monday. Yeah, that's not today.
00:57:14
Speaker
I mean, but in all honesty, though, I mean, you know, people say, you know, military done this to him, military done that to him. And yeah, it's true. But it wouldn't have put me in a position I am now. Thanks. There you go.
00:57:38
Speaker
You know, he also didn't start the military until late. I was like 27. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I was late, Bermer. It's all right. And I want to ask you guys that I guess we can kind of run around real quick. How long were you? How long were you guys all in the military? Eight years. What about you, please? Fourteen and a half. Damn, bro. You're old.
00:58:07
Speaker
Well, that's you, Brennan. How long were you in the Coast Guard? Four years. That's it. That was enough. Too much weight on my shoulders. Yeah, I know Connor said he basically did about Ryder just shy of 10 with both Air Force and Army combined and whatnot. Rob, how long were you in there kicking ass and taking names? 10 between the Marines and the Army National Guard. And last but not least,
00:58:37
Speaker
Brian, this should be easy. You don't have to make any jokes. We should go ahead and just let him talk. I did 12 years active duty Navy. And then I did a reserve time with the National Nasty Guard as well. Let me illuminate for you. And anybody watching, right? So I went from a line company in the Fleet Marine Force
00:59:04
Speaker
A couple of years go by, that's irrelevant because you're a bad motherfucker, right? Getting the Army National Guard and I was with the gun bunnies, the artillery, and I was a forward observer. And I'm looking around at my first drill and the section chief comes walking in, holding his back bent over, like literally like at the waist like this.
00:59:32
Speaker
Right. Like walk, walk like an Egyptian kind of shit. And fucking everybody's like, hey, what's going on? What the hell is wrong with you? He's like, I had to have a fucking colonoscopy yesterday and I'm so fucked up. I'm looking at this and I'm like in my head, I'm like, these motherfuckers are going to leave me into war. I fulfilled my contract and got the fuck out of there because that was a goddamn death trap.
01:00:02
Speaker
the the
01:00:19
Speaker
Yep, Lucy didn't clean that you gotta get points. You gotta get your points. Yeah, you gotta happen I had like a 60 year old staff sergeant for fuck sake not I was not having any of that. I was like, you know what? It was unbelievable and I'm just like looking around I'm like how the fuck did you motherfuckers survive? Like wow
01:00:46
Speaker
We had some good times, though. I mean, like in the guard, man, I went and we got to go out to Jacksonville and actually play in the woods in the middle of the night with night vision goggles and fucking that wasn't a landing. It was blending. Yeah, it was up in Jacksonville in it. That Stark of Stark. It's like right in Jacksonville. Almost. Yeah, but it's considered Stark.
01:01:11
Speaker
And we got to do some shit out there, you know? We played hide and go seek and go fuck yourself. So there you go. Bitch. Well, Brian, what was the reasoning for you going into the military? So my grandfather, who I had a really close relationship to when I was younger, was what they called a frog man back in the day.
01:01:39
Speaker
I didn't know what that was. I really didn't. I didn't know anything until I got into like high school. Like my freshman year, I was like, what is a frog man? And I did a lot of research and it was a Navy SEAL. It was the very first Navy SEAL guys. And I started watching movies and TV shows and fucking reading everything I could about Navy SEALs.
01:02:02
Speaker
And Charlie King gave you a raging hot on in that film. I know. And I was like, dude, this is what I want to do. And I joined the Navy. So I joined the Navy because I was like, I'm going to fucking be a frog man. I'll be a fucking seal. Right. And then we get to boot camp and I was like, I got to go. No, that's it. We hit the gas chamber. The gas chamber comes up and the question to who wants to be a Navy SEAL?
01:02:33
Speaker
And the guys that raised their hand, because I fucking kept my hand down, bro. No, fuck no. I watched these boys get fucking whooped in there, dude. They fucking were doing pushups with fucking trashcan lids. And then they had to fan the fucking the fucking pills that they fucking busted open, right? And they're fucking in there choking and gagging and shit. I was I couldn't see. And I was choking and gagging. I was like, fucking fuck this shit. Let me out of here.
01:03:01
Speaker
is that is is the difference, right? Uh it's non-lethal. If you do your homework, it's non-lethal. It doesn't matter how much you **** suck in. Uh well, of course it does but uh it's **** non-lethal. So, you have to bear that **** in mind. There there is an end. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I understand. I do. I get it. I get to that point where we would go and run PT and I
01:03:31
Speaker
And I couldn't because I smoke but when you smoke and you got a fucking run TT You're just begging you're just begging like please just let me survive until I get past this fucking thing And let me do it quick so I can get it fucking done and over with you know what I mean? If your body is in shape your mind is the key The PFT is a three-miler, right? I
01:03:58
Speaker
After you do everything else is dead hang pull-ups and fucking however many sit-ups you can do in two minutes, right? The three-mile up I was like, you know what? I'm gonna fucking prove a point because the company, you know the oh God, what the fuck did they call him the guys that were just they they got put in the company office because they were waiting to get out on broke dick pay or whatever they liked me a little too much and
01:04:25
Speaker
And so they were fucking with me. So whenever we'd run with, uh, whenever we'd run the PFT, we'd run by the company office and all these fuckers out there with the coffee and the cigarettes going, yeah. Uh, so I, I, I decided beforehand I was going to smoke during the PFT and I did, I ran fucking 18, 10 my best time ever, no shit.
01:04:53
Speaker
my best time ever 1810 while I was smoking. Three miles. I got in trouble for it, but the point was proven. It's in your head. Yeah. Yeah. It's in your head, but it's in your lungs too. It hurts. Oh, no. That's why I said, you know, assuming your body's actually in the shape, everything else is in your head. My body is in a shape now. It's called brown.
01:05:23
Speaker
So if anybody knows that, that's a you problem. I am sexually aerodynamic, my friend. I was like, I want to grease you up and ride you like a slip and slide. I'm not going to lie. Well, I mean, we can all we can all foist our inner desires on others, as you just did. And I'm not going to judge you for that.
01:05:54
Speaker
the the the the
01:06:14
Speaker
No, I love the Navy. I love the Navy and his why I got I fucked up on ship and I got put in the engine room to clean the fucking decks with with bug juice. Right. Oh, yeah. And fuck me. Fuck me running. It was hot and it sucked. But the bad one of the baddest motherfuckers I ever met was a chief in the Navy.
01:06:42
Speaker
that was a fucking gunny sergeant that fucking was on our ship that ran that ran the marine it didn't matter what officers were on that ship dude i'm telling you right now we had this gunny sergeant man and this guy he ran the marine corps there was no there was no officer that was going to tell him how to fucking do his job there was no officer that was going to tell his soldiers how to fucking
01:07:09
Speaker
the the
01:07:29
Speaker
I don't know, man. I've had people tell me that that can happen with a few E9s and E8s, and it never made me cry. I just thought it was a big joke. You didn't meet the right people, dude. Apparently. I mean, I've made people cry, but I've never cried. Like when your colonel looks like he's going to jump over the fucking desk and choke you?
01:08:00
Speaker
Yeah. I've actually had a, well, I was, what, an E2 at the time. And I had an E6 grabbed me by the blouse and throw me on the table about to rear back. It hit me. Still didn't cry. Because you didn't get hit. I know. Well, no, I didn't. True. True. I did get hit. They're in line with the difference, though. Someone pulled them off. But yeah. Ooh.
01:08:30
Speaker
I thought that was my old name. She's good. You're not one. You're different. Fellas, I've got a real serious question to ask of everybody, actually. I'm a Gen X, right? Born in 1975, right? Let's go, Gen X. 77 here.
01:08:53
Speaker
I remember in the 80s, there was a ton of movies and TV shows about Vietnam and things were turning around as opposed to being spat on. But when the Gulf War II come about, OIF, OEF, all of a sudden, everywhere I went, and at the time, I was living in rural-ass Alabama.
01:09:21
Speaker
the the
01:09:43
Speaker
like it's you remember in high school you had you had your girlfriend whatever uh you you said i love you and boom automatically i love you too it's an automatic thing there's no feeling behind it so when some motherfucker says thank you for your service i i have to stop from chewing their ass uh because i know they mean well but i really i really wish they would just
Reflections on 'Thank You for Your Service'
01:10:12
Speaker
there would just be better people. I mean, what that is is thank you for yours. Because I mean, at the end of the day, we all did something. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I was in the I was in the military. Rob was in the military. Connor was in the military. Yeah, we all we did that. But while we were gone, thank you for what you did here. That's that kind of thing. You know what I mean? Like, that's that's where I'm at with it. I don't I don't it doesn't.
01:10:38
Speaker
I didn't do anything special to have somebody come up to me and say, thank you for your service. I didn't do anything special. I didn't do anything that anybody else wouldn't have done. You know what I mean? That's how I feel about it.
01:10:50
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I think what Rob was getting at and I've, and I felt this too, that, um, it's been, it's so common in parlance today that it's kind of lost its meaning in some ways because it's like, you know, once, exactly. I mean, the moment you say you're a vet or something, it's like, that's the next thing out of their mouth.
01:11:11
Speaker
Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Yeah. Does your VA does your VA nurse do that to you? Yes. My VA nurse does that to me all the time. I'm like, yeah. Every time every time I check out at Lowe's.
01:11:26
Speaker
It sounds like it sounds scripted. It sounds scripted. Exactly. And so like, how do you guys feel about that? You know what I mean? On a personal level. It doesn't feel genuine. It doesn't feel genuine. I went to Connecticut. I went from Massachusetts to Connecticut. I feel like when people thank me, I feel like I did nothing. I was like, you should not thank me. I cost you money. Nobody's thanking you. Stop it.
01:11:54
Speaker
that the
01:12:13
Speaker
So when civilians get the same fucking treatment, we are. Exactly. Exactly. And that's so. So at that point, it's like, well, if you're just thinking anybody in the military for their service, it's like, you don't know these people, why they're not in anymore, why they were dishonorably discharged or whatever. It's just, yeah, it seems kind of.
01:12:40
Speaker
I mean, the big chicken dinner. Like I said, I mean, when somebody says it to me, it's not it's not like I'm like, oh, thank you. You know, I'm just like, oh, thank you for yours. You know, I just say, yeah, but I was doing it for a while, too. You don't know that other person. So just think of like, I mean, you know, I was a Coast Guard, but I did serve I did sign up for four years of my life to be a slave. So, I mean, like I basically so I start I was I was thanking people and then
01:13:10
Speaker
And then I stopped because like, like the same thing is like, I was like, I worked with a bunch of dirt bags. Like, I mean, don't get me wrong. I worked with a bunch of good people too, that I really appreciate and that I would have never have met had I not signed up and gone. However, I did also work for
01:13:25
Speaker
D bags that I never like, I've got one dude that keeps trying to friend me on Facebook and I hate him so much. I'm like, dude, dude, go away. Like, like, like, no, no, no, no. I see that. I see. No, it's funny shit. Three or whatever it is. Create amends with that.
01:13:51
Speaker
it like step two or three create create an immense amends on that's not a nine yeah yeah that's nine never mind this this one guy this one guy called me and try to set me up to buy weed like he was still in the Coast Guard he was like hey man where can I get some green and I'm like
01:14:16
Speaker
I'm like, what are you talking about, dude? Vegas, motherfucker. He's like, I want some green. I'm like.
01:14:22
Speaker
I said, listen, bro. I was like, I don't know why you're calling me. I don't know what you want. You need to spell it out for me here. He goes, I want marijuana. I'm like, what? I was like, I barely even know you. I served with you for like a year and you're calling me for drugs. I'm like, I don't smoke weed like this dude. So that's the kind of people sometimes you serve with. Right. Like this, this dingleberry was calling me trying to, I don't know what he was doing. Try to set me up. I don't know. Whatever. So.
01:14:53
Speaker
I eventually stopped thanking people for their service, but in the same respect, I mean, I did really appreciate other people that actually did something rather than what I did. You know what I mean? The someone that actually like you, like most of you guys actually signed up for noble reasons, whereas I was just like, I'd like some college money. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:15:18
Speaker
you did I don't think it's come I don't think it's I don't think it's completely irrelevant but yeah yeah no but you don't know the other but like on the other hand you don't know those other person's intentions you can't you can say thank you to them but you don't know them right they could be buying trying to buy weed yeah sons of bitchin weed smokers smokers worst people on the planet out there today
01:15:43
Speaker
the the
01:16:08
Speaker
Uh, you know, it don't matter how insignificant your job is or anything like that. I'm grateful for everybody who serves, whether they're a D bag or not. And as a civilian, no, you know, I wasn't, unfortunately I was not in the military. I wanted to be, uh, that was my goal. My life was to be a lifer. Uh, unfortunately.
01:16:26
Speaker
You got past the medical Wes. Uh, I unfortunately could not, uh, even though as my recruiter and multiple other recruiters said, I could run circles around damn near anybody and everybody in the military with ease when I was 18, but I had a busted up knee. Uh, I had broken my ankle twice, two years in a row. I had a blown up shoulder and busted up arm as well. Um, so they were basically like, yeah, no, you're, you're, you're no good to us.
01:16:55
Speaker
and now you have an epic beard, dude. Yeah, I killed that beer two years later after 9 11 and they were kicking my door in and I'm like, yeah, guys, I want to. But I made really good fucking money. And I've got a lot of friends that, you know, already haven't come home. And I've got some friends that I hear the horror story. So as much as I love the military and what I wanted to do,
01:17:24
Speaker
with my life, I'm going to have to pass. Great choice, dude. Great choice. Yeah. But, uh, you know, I'm very appreciative. Uh, you know, I'm very thankful because especially in what we do here, if it wasn't, and this is going all the way back to the beginning time of America when the military started and whatnot, I couldn't do what we do here. Seven days a week. I couldn't do one in a bar.
01:17:53
Speaker
Yeah. The Marine Corps was born in a bar. Yup. Yeah, they were. Yup. One of the guys on my fire team was a Marine and every every **** day, we just talk about it. So, you know, I I don't do that. I don't do the whole thank you to everybody I meet. Now, if I meet somebody and I get to know them down the line, I'll be like, hey, man, I appreciate everything you did. Whatever but it's sincere when I say
01:18:23
Speaker
Uh, but it's like, if I'm out or something like that, and I run into, you know, somebody and I get to chitchat with them and they're a veteran or, or, or whatever the case may be. So we get to chitchat and if they come across like a cool person, I'm like, Hey man, let me buy you a beer. That's all it is. Let me buy you a beer or shop. All right. You owe me a beer.
01:18:45
Speaker
I'll buy you a second beer because you served. Does that mean, does that mean I get two, three beers too? Because I, I was in two different branches or do I only get one? No, you're only in one good one. Wes, Wes, the only reason that you stayed in the army was because you hated yourself. Don't lie to anybody. Actually, I was born on an air force base.
01:19:11
Speaker
I was born on an army base. The real question is where were you conceived? Germany. In the backseat of a freaking 69 Nova. Nope, I was actually conceived in Germany. My dad was stationed in Germany and I was about four months away of getting dual citizenship.
01:19:40
Speaker
Look at that. You got your brothers. You don't even know it. And no, but all that shit in Iran went down with the embassies. Ayatollah. Yep. So at that point, all the families that were stationed in Germany, the families had to come home because they didn't know what was about to break loose in Iran.
01:20:09
Speaker
the
01:20:28
Speaker
No. Can we hear some? Shut up, Rob. This is a hostile takeover. Glick's taking over. I know I know every one of you guys and I've heard some stuff from from Blaze, you know, and I've heard some stuff from Connor. I know you guys got stories of fuckery and debauchery and just really fun fucking times.
01:20:52
Speaker
the
01:21:09
Speaker
We were we were Snapchatting talking every day. So every time he was on some bullshit, I was like Here for me and he's on bullshit, I guess I should get on some bullshit Dude I passed the Bible by the time I was 19 dude, we're talking more in peace. I
01:21:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Very on over and the worst thing he did was Jay walk. So I did not. I did not. No, a one fives here. No. We're getting an article 15.
01:22:04
Speaker
the fifth
01:22:22
Speaker
nonjudicial punishment
01:22:42
Speaker
or whatever, right? So that's an article 15. There's several other articles that you can get hit with. Rob, have you ever had an article 15 or any others?
01:22:54
Speaker
Yeah. Fuck yeah. He's a cardboard. He's a marine, isn't it? Is it legal to be in the Marines and not get injured once? I'm pretty sure you get kicked out with good days. That's what Agent X Battalion is there for. But I mean, I don't know. I didn't push pencils for a living. Me neither. Connor, your Article 15? I was fat after I broke my foot.
01:23:46
Speaker
Was that Air Force or Army? That sounds like Air Force. That's some dumb shit. It was four months of being in a cast followed by three weeks or three months in a splint. And then they were like, nope, it didn't heal. So here's the foot surgery. So now I have a screw in both of my feet, which is great.
01:23:47
Speaker
the the the
01:24:11
Speaker
I felt during the recovery of that is when they, they fucking hit me with the article. I had broken my ankle. I got a still plate in my ankle and I failed a PT test because of it. And I'm like, how did I fail? I can't even do shit. Well, that's because you can't do shit. I'm like, what the fuck?
01:24:34
Speaker
say Air Force will they will fucking bureaucrat the shit out of you. They're dumb. So we call it pencil fucking over here. Yeah. Well, that's exactly where the army pencil whipped shit for me, like in a good way. The Air Force did it all negatively. It was fucking terrible. I would rejoin the army in a heartbeat, despite how how terrible it was. Air Force Air Force. The Air Force anything you don't want it on paper.
01:25:02
Speaker
You just go out back and just take the smoke session with it. Yeah. Air Force had this mentality that if you fuck up in any way, the way to fix the problem and show their superiors that the problem has been handled was paperwork. There has to be a punishment. It was stupid item. I sold a truck to somebody on base.
01:25:25
Speaker
And that motherfucker went TDY, used his government travel car to fucking gamble at a casino. He got kicked out, abandoned the truck on base. And so when when it popped up that, you know, it was abandoned and they wrote a ticket after ticket after ticket. My name, it was in the I was I was the next person in line. I was like, but I sold
Military Punishments and Consequences
01:25:44
Speaker
it. I tracked the guy down in Nebraska, had him write a letter in the first sergeant looks at me. The Air Force has got to punish someone. I was like, fuck you.
01:25:54
Speaker
Damn, I thought the coast guard was bad. You had all the fuckers in the game. All day long. I got the trouble for not cutting my hair with it two weeks. Yes, that's a thing. Dude, it was like so I could I could see my CO C thing when I was giving a presentation on hypothermia and how to prevent it. And I could he was in the front row looking at me like,
01:26:27
Speaker
He was like, he was like, oh dude, he was like aggressively masturbating. Like I, if, if I had to dodge it, but no, he, he, it was just like, it was obvious. I was about to get punished completely obvious. And then, well, that wasn't actually the reason. The reason was, is so we have a, a ready crew, uh, during every shift and the ready crew.
01:26:52
Speaker
has to be ready to go out on any mission. And the mission, a lot of times, involved a boarding team, a boarding team who would need to put on a gun belt. Well, we had underbelts for our gun belts because the brass buckles would get in the way. So I was wearing an underbelt instead of my brass belt. So that was really the issue. However, my hair became really the issue.
01:27:20
Speaker
And then also, in case you were wondering, it's really frowned upon to fake your military ID. They don't like it. You shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do it. That got me two weeks on base and extra duty. That's it? That's not bad, really. That should have been A15 right there. Dude, I should have been kicked.
01:27:49
Speaker
I thought they were kicking me out. Yeah. So I got to talk into for smacking a fucking lieutenant. That just means that no one else really liked that lieutenant. I was in my life. I like jobs. He totally deserved it. He deserved a lot more. And I mean,
01:28:16
Speaker
Alright, Libbo, I think it was 4th of July, a couple of the boys went to one of the guys houses in like Atlanta and took a 22 and was like, look, it's unloaded and it wasn't. So that that his name was Harper and Hoppe was fucking Hoppe was coolest dude and everybody loved Hoppe. So we do a field day.
01:28:42
Speaker
for everybody else, that means when you clean your own fucking room instead of letting the maids do it for you. But anyway, oh, you guys have made the fucking lieutenant comes in to inspect and like all of us are there and it's just the energy is like, yeah, basement. And fuck, we just got word and he was like, Harper, oh, oh, oh,
01:29:08
Speaker
I fucking, I went back like Don Corleone planting my back for it. I get in front of the captain and he's like, Melo, you know, you're accused of striking a fucking, a commissioned officer, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, they go through the charges. They go through the possible fucking punishments. He's like, what do you have to say for yourself? I was like, he's a motherfucker, sir. And if you kick me out,
01:29:38
Speaker
I'll be outside his fucking door on base housing. Oh, that day I will personally fuck that dude's world up. You know, and he was one of his own fucking Marines. You know what I mean? So I'm just like, dude, yeah, he definitely deserved a lot worse than he got because I'm the only one that laid hands on him. But there was a room full of fucking mean, mean that these dudes were well, I was the nicest guy in the room. How's that?
01:30:15
Speaker
Basically I'll bet you a left nut in a fucking paycheck that he never talked shit about another fucking marine Yeah, I told him what's up and you know and the the captain looked at him and you know, he's all
01:30:38
Speaker
And then I'm just like, you fucking pussy. You're going to. All right. That's cool. Whatever they say. We know who the frag fucking candidate is. Like fucking the captain captain looked and looked at me, looked at him, looked back at me and was like, Mello, you're dismissed. Don't ever fucking do that again.
01:31:00
Speaker
Yes, sir. And fucking, you know, it's a company office. I got to walk by the window and he's fucking getting his ass reamed. I mean, like abusive Al Bundy ass reaming. Like he's ragging. He's ragging his fucking chrome dome is like his fucking ears could have got HBO for free back in the 80s kind of thing. You know what I mean?
01:31:30
Speaker
He probably picked on his goldfish and his mama shit. All right. We're going to take a what about a three minute break. Let you guys use the bad boys. You got time to go pay. Make the bladder glad we're going to be here.
01:31:48
Speaker
or rub one out, Brian, in fucking five minutes. Or if you're Brendan, puff on something green and get the stick out of your ass. Hey, do you know anybody I can get some green from? Anybody on this panel where I can get some green from? Hey, Brendan, do you know anybody? I don't smoke weed, you motherfuckers.
01:32:17
Speaker
All right. That's not true. I do now fucking puff, puff, fast bitches. Yes. All right. We'll be back in about three minutes. Call me. Perfect.
Memorial Day Song Discussion
01:32:33
Speaker
That's it. Like I said,
01:32:46
Speaker
Tattooed on a highway Like some cheap black beer in that Georgia clear And got us a little sideways Like a first love's tears and tail eyes You're so long, 17 And me down 4-4 sales time And all through shotgun scene Gone, but I forgot it
01:33:23
Speaker
Gone, but not forgotten Gone, but not forgotten There's a little white cross on the side of the highway And memories of the ones we loved and lost have got to fly away
01:34:39
Speaker
Gone and I forgot All those memories we had Gone and I forgot All those memories
01:35:24
Speaker
That was dope.
01:35:34
Speaker
I, when I seen the video, I was like, Oh, what the hell? You know, I was like, Hey, I liked it. It, it, it, it shooting just fine for Memorial day. So it's a good, so it's a good Bradley Gilbert song. I like Bradley Gilbert. The only bad thing about Bradley Gilbert, he's about four foot three and thinks he's not 10 foot tall and bulletproof. Calm down. He's a little guy, but he
01:36:02
Speaker
of the
01:36:17
Speaker
And, uh, he was, he was my hero and all that. And, you know, I bought him, uh, when he was younger, their house caught on fire and, uh, destroyed all his medals and stuff for his, I think it was his 90th birthday. I, or not, not his birthday, but I gave it to him actually on Memorial day. I gave him, I went and found all his medals.
01:36:43
Speaker
the fifth
Veterans' Post-Military Experiences
01:37:06
Speaker
I do I do want to welcome everybody back to talking shit featuring been Karen from in this is part one of our our military tribute show
01:37:15
Speaker
You got Mark, he's your normal host. I'm helping him out tonight with the hosting duties. You guys know me. If you don't know me, how you doing? I'm Glick. We've got an amazing lineup of kick-ass veterans in the building with the exception of Brandon, but what the fuck? Hold on, hold on. Hey, Boy Scouts is a branch, Glick. Boy Scouts is a branch.
01:37:41
Speaker
We got some awesome kick-ass vets in the building. Representing the Coast Guard. Brennan's here. Representing the Air Force. Blazin is here. And Connor. Representing the Army. We got Wes and Connor again. Brian's here. He was in the Navy. We got the badass action hero himself, Rob Mello. Marine.
01:38:08
Speaker
Killing machine and the building. Mark and I, I think I can speak for Mark. We're truly honored to be hanging out with you guys, but you guys agreed to come and do this show with us. Hopefully you guys are enjoying it. And make sure you check out the network, bio.link slash nonsensical network. Check out all the shows. Give us some love. We'll be back Monday night with part two, where this guy gets to open a whole can of worms. And as my man, Blaison says, bring some tissues for your issues.
01:38:38
Speaker
Go ahead, Mark, what you got to ask the guys? All right. Well, most people. When you guys got out of the military, what was the first thing that you wanted to do that you couldn't do when you were in the military? Eat fucking real food, bitch. Eat fucking real fucking food. Like, literally. Brian, Brian, you got to re-listen to the question, dog.
01:39:05
Speaker
Oh. Oh. What was the first thing you did when you got out of the military that you couldn't do while you were in the military? Yeah. Smoke weed. Exactly what I said. Call Brendan. I was smoking while I was in shit. Brendan's going to be my new plug.
01:39:43
Speaker
the the the
01:39:51
Speaker
But, um, it was like patch here, patch there, but yeah, I just, yeah, I stopped shaving. I hated shaving. It was the worst thing ever. Yeah. Yeah. I started growing out. Beard, but it got too itchy up here. So I just let the, the goatee go. I like it West. I'll try it, but I'm, I think my wife might murder me.
01:40:18
Speaker
I harnessed my freedom of speech that I gave it for so long and I pissed a lot. I've known you long enough that you have a tendency to rub people the wrong way, brother. I know I do and I'm fine with
Military Training Responsibilities
01:40:39
Speaker
that. Whoa, shit, Jesus Christ.
01:40:41
Speaker
the the the
01:41:12
Speaker
One night I was on deployment and I was E5 and convoy security, um, that was in charge of moving over 400 backs. And I had a full board come up to me and tell me how things were going to be done. I just looked at it and I went, sir, I know you outrank me, but my position to procedure rank so you can go sit your ass back down on that bus. And I'll tell you when we move. Yeah.
01:41:43
Speaker
I enjoyed those times of being able, I mean, when I was in the Navy, I was the chemical, biological, radiological warfare specialist assigned to the ship. So my job was to train everybody how to deal with
01:42:03
Speaker
a chemical biological radiological warfare event. So I would do all this training for people. And when the officers would be like, well, I don't need to show up for this training. I'm like, the fuck? Yes, you do. You were the first one to show up for the fucking training. Your guys can get the training from you. Because I spent a lot of time learning this fucking stuff.
01:42:30
Speaker
that I'm about to teach you. So you're going to spend some time with me. We're going to make it happen. You motherfuckers. You motherfuckers. So you're the guy that we wound up hating.
01:42:41
Speaker
Why do you hate me? Why do you hate me? Because I put in that **** **** **** sucks. Tarkle **** all over our face and then getting into a full mop for. Yes, because because you you try to make me get an anthrax vaccine. You press. Okay, first of all, I was a **** mop a mop suit. I was against the anthrax name because that that happened. It was it was a small event that happened and it blew up into this big thing.
01:43:11
Speaker
Was it prom?
01:43:13
Speaker
No, no. Anthrax. Remember Anthrax? I had a great time. I had a much better time of problem than I did the military. Oh, what? I said I had a much better time of problem than I did the military. Oh, I thought you had a much better time. I was going to say, dude, those. You joined the wrong branch, that's why. Yeah. Those mop for fucking and wearing that mask and trying to hook your canteen up to it was like trying to have sex for their first time, trying to get your dick in the vagina.
01:43:46
Speaker
If you would have met somebody like me and let me train you, it was a lot of fun. We had a great time. I feel like we had a great time. Of course, I can't tell jokes. So who am I to fucking say anything? But anyway, I would teach people, you know, listen, you can't touch the black inside of that fucking suit because black on black crime doesn't exist because once you put them black gloves on, right?
01:44:11
Speaker
Once you put the black gloves on, you can't touch the inside of the suit. So now you got to figure out how to put this on. How are you putting it on? Got to get a buddy. Nothing, nothing. No, no.
01:44:29
Speaker
Because like half of my fucking company. Oh, wait, that was a joke. Your ass. Yeah, I'm like here. Here's Ryan. Brian, I'm so glad your jokes. She just made your mind stand out.
01:44:45
Speaker
Black gloves, if you touch the impact with your hand, and you have the gloves on, because the first thing you put on are gloves. Dude, you're trying to recover it. Don't worry about it. Let it go. Doesn't matter. I only have two, and one's for me, and one's for somebody else. That's all I'm saying. You only have two what? Seapurn suits? Jesus.
01:45:14
Speaker
Fucking double-headed dildos. I mean, narrow it down for us, dude. Brian, I don't know how strong the gummies were that you took before the show, but I think you all died in town, buddy. I think they failed him. I told him before the show he wasn't going to have any gummies. He disobeyed a direct order from a superior officer. Everybody wave at the kids.
01:45:45
Speaker
Bye. Hey, guys. Go to bed, do your homework, brush your teeth.
01:46:17
Speaker
it's the last day of school year
01:46:22
Speaker
the the
01:46:47
Speaker
1.95 the Celtics to that the fuck up where the the the the the the the the the the the
01:47:15
Speaker
Yeah, so and yeah, like I said to my oldest one, she graduates tomorrow. So we got two graduations tomorrow. Oh, wow. And I might have to do tomorrow night. So it's going to be a crazy day. You're not going to be on the show tomorrow. Well, you know, I might have a show tomorrow. I'm supposed to be doing an interview tomorrow night. But, you know, musicians, man, they're like actors.
01:47:42
Speaker
the the
01:47:57
Speaker
you know, whatever. I tell them, dude, look, motherfucker, we're postponing this shit. My kids gradually. We were going to we were going to do it later in the night because she graduates and then I might not see her for another week because she's off with her friends. She's 19 years old. She's graduating her best friends, graduate parties.
01:48:19
Speaker
Yeah, her best friend's graduation party is Saturday. I think the next two, three, four weekends, she's filled up with graduation. We had to postpone her graduation party to like the middle of the summer because of all her, because she has to go to all her friend's graduation parties. What branch of the military is she joining? I tried to encourage her to go into the military.
01:48:47
Speaker
I was trying to get her to go Air Force or Navy. She wants to be a nurse. So, you know, I tried to encourage her to join the military. Maybe Air Force and Navy. My fiance, her oldest son is in the Air Force. He is on vacation in Italy and he will be in, he's already been there like three or four years and he'll be there until next year. And I was like, okay.
01:49:13
Speaker
look at your stuff. He's just living his best. He's in Croatia for one day. You want to know why? Because they're going to cliff diving. So Glick, Glick, Glick, I did. Glick, I did want to tell you something. When I was 19, I had a kid on the way and I was fucking married and I was hooking and jabbing. Yeah, I got. So I'm just saying, dude.
01:49:55
Speaker
my son actually joins
01:50:01
Speaker
I didn't want mine to go either. But if they go into the military, I keep telling them, go in the Air Force, do something that's worthwhile, and not going to beat you to death and make you feel like you're 105 when you're 40. So my thing is, if you're going to do it, go in the Air Force. Brian, quite honestly, I couldn't see your kids doing the military. They're not going to do the military, not one of them.
01:50:31
Speaker
I just, just the way that they are. I just don't think that they would. Yeah. They hate me. So there you go. No, no, no. I mean, that's fine. You guys can ask all the questions you want because it's about you guys. It's not about me and Glick. It's about you guys here. You guys can talk all you want. Ask questions. It is about. I mean, your kids still military.
01:50:58
Speaker
Now my minor minor really young but no I'm not I'm not I'm definitely not gonna encourage it I'm gonna encourage the trades or anything else. There's My kids are weirdo homeschooled and all that stuff and I will do my best to steer them clear of anything government Yeah
01:51:22
Speaker
You got your you got your mic muted. What about you? Yeah, I was I was hacking up along Not only no, but hell no. Yeah, man personal shit aside Bear with me for a sec right when America was founded, right? the very which which among us knows and I'm pretty sure most of you can guess but I
01:51:49
Speaker
the very first cabinet position, the very first department of whatever. What was it? I'm assuming
Why No Department of Peace?
01:52:00
Speaker
it was Department of Defense. Department of War. War. Yeah, yeah. Henry Knox.
01:52:09
Speaker
That was before the Department of Treasury. Money makes the world go around. Money is the grease on the wheels of war. No, war. What bothers me, having seen everything I have in this fucking lifetime, what bothers me is that the United States, the richest, most powerful country to have ever existed, still to this day does not have a Department of Peace.
01:52:37
Speaker
Rob, I fucking love your ass. Well, he's not rich anymore. $35 trillion of debt ain't rich. Love your ass. Everything else. Well, you know what? All those banks that we owe money to, we can melt. Yeah, yeah. And until we can't do that anymore, I don't give a fuck. The credit card is platinum. But my fucking problem is,
01:53:07
Speaker
The loss of life, the loss of hope for life, for fuck's sake. It's not even, you know, yeah. They're on the beach and they're looking at the horizon and they see us coming and they literally start shitting their pants and running away for good fucking reason. Because the people that came before us were much more brutal than we are.
01:53:34
Speaker
and brutality has its place, but unnecessary brutality, especially on the defenseless, it's fucking disgusting, reprehensible and against everything this country and me and any theology or ideology I've ever read is against. You know what I mean? I'm sorry, I don't mean that. I'm sorry. 100% agree.
01:54:04
Speaker
You basically put into words why I got out instead of doing 20. Yeah. I can't. I can't if and you know what fucking did it for me, dude? It was fucking Rwanda. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, it was fucking Rwanda. I was on air alert. The the president can if you don't know, the president can throw a dart at the map and tell the commandant I need 50,000 Marines ready for a siege.
01:54:34
Speaker
here tomorrow. And it happens. So literally modern day Minutemen. And it's always relegated to the new guys. So I'm a fucking new guy, fresh out of fucking school.
01:54:50
Speaker
in my fucking line company, in my fucking FMF, the Fleet Marine Force. I'm like, fucking, dude, do you believe this? You know, we're playing fucking Super Nintendo. And we just got back from the gym and chow. And I'm like, dude, we get to eat for free. We get to work out and like all the like I had pussy falling out of my pockets when I was walking down the street. You know what I mean? And
01:55:16
Speaker
All the and we get paid, not much, but we get fucking amazing. They get paid no attention a lot. And then fucking bang, bang, bang on the door. Fucking put to a size and was like, Mellow Edmondson, get your shit, be in the quad and 15. And he left. I was like, what's going on? So he's like, we're going to Rwanda. I'm like, have you ever even heard of what the fuck is Rwanda?
01:55:43
Speaker
So here's the thing, right? When you're on air alert on a Marine Corps base, you have preference. You go to the front of the line everywhere you go. So like the commandant could be in line at the PX in front of you and he would he would move aside. Because you got shit to do, right? So everybody was going to go. Go eat, hit the armory than the PX. I did it opposite because I'm like, uh-uh.
01:56:13
Speaker
The stuff at the store will run out and I bought I bought a log of dip two cottons of cigarettes and 2k bars because I'm not gonna go down just because I ran out of bullets and Fucking and then all the way but when I when I hit the chow hall and here's the shit of it, right? When I hit the chow hall if you don't know what happened to Rwanda Watch movie a fucking movie and this is the power of art
01:56:43
Speaker
Hotel Rwanda. Incredible, incredible fucking movie. Watch it by yourself. It's a wild movie. It's a wild movie. A tearjerker? We watched. This shit happened. Yeah. Anyway, get to the chow hall, right? And I get it. I start eating. But this was at the time like CNN was the only like 24 cable news thing.
01:57:13
Speaker
So CNN's on the boob tube and we're all looking and it's real time shots of Rwanda. And in a chow hall that held 2,500 Marines, it was packed and nary a fucking sound was heard. Damn, you could just fucking the fucking anger building and I got to be on the tip of that fucking sphere to stop that shit.
01:57:42
Speaker
Got to formation the fucking buses are coming to take us to fucking cherry point. We face left We face right we stand at ease and I'm like what the fuck We're not going It's over Marines cause body bags. We don't fill them. We're sending the army over to fill fucking body bags. I
01:58:06
Speaker
So I got to think and I'm like, sir, you know, like I'm talking to my fucking my my L.T. And I'm like, sir, you know, this is kind of why most of us fucking join, dude. And I mean, I know you don't have pull or something, but can't you say, you know, my Marines really want to fucking go. Can you not? He's like, look, Melo. All right, I'll quote him.
01:58:38
Speaker
Like, look, you take your orders from somebody, you, right? I take my orders from somebody, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, all the way up to the one who's the president. And if they don't, they go.
01:58:55
Speaker
We're not fucking going. I don't care about your fucking feelings. You got feelings. Take your boys, go out on town, do what you got to do, fuck broads, fight motherfuckers, and then get your ass back in formation on fucking time. Do not call me if you get arrested. Now get the fuck out of my office. And I was left. Every preconceived notion of the nobility of my cause got shattered like that.
01:59:27
Speaker
right there that's why I'll never fucking I was a bulldog a trained-ass bulldog on a fucking chain and I wasn't let loose when there were thieves in the fucking temple and so no I'll never encourage any fucking body to join the military any military period except the Swiss guard they're cool
Following Orders and Nationalism
01:59:54
Speaker
They're neutral. I had a similar experience. That's why they're cool. Not combat experience, but it was a kickoff of shock and awe. I'm sure you guys heard of shock and awe. All those bombs just being bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. So we four deployed and I was part of that. My job in the Air Force, I was an ammo troop. So if it went bang, pow, boom, I had my hands on it.
02:00:22
Speaker
And I was, and I was, I was hyped. I was like, fuck yeah. We're like warheads and foreheads, you know? And, um, later on his name on everything. That's why I wanted you to show that other picture, man. Fucking. Blaze was here.
02:00:45
Speaker
He was teabagging every frickin every warhead that he came in contact with. We would write the stupidest shit on fucking bombs out on the bomb pad. But like when it came out, like the whole fucking shock and awe was built off this fucking false, this falsehood. Dude, like I felt, I felt like Rob said, like that nobility just left. It's like, what the fuck? So.
02:01:14
Speaker
No, I get that. I felt a disappointment in our government. So. Yeah, mine was mine was being on. I don't remember what ship I was on, but we were. Yeah. We were I was on a ship and it was the Iraqi conflict. And all I remember was I looked over at this fucking land and I'm sitting here going,
02:01:44
Speaker
We're on a fucking ship. They're on fucking land. They can fucking shoot at us and fucking blow us up. And then I got to try to swim somewhere. Not that land. And it was like the Fourth of July in an in a different country that just fucking didn't make sense. And I was like, why the fuck are we doing this again? You know, it was. Oh, yeah. Freedom.
02:02:11
Speaker
I get it. I get it. But seriously, Rob, it's like it's like fucking for for virginity, you know, and I don't think a lot of people understood it either. It was like, why are we doing this? What's happening? This is what we're doing. We're just going to do it. No. Yeah. And you and that's the thing. Like you fall in line, you fucking follow direction and you do what you got to do. You get the. Hey, Wes, don't shoot that guy. Why? There is no fucking why go fucking. Let's do it.
02:02:42
Speaker
Yep. So. But we're programmed that way. Not like, not programmed necessarily, but. Oh no, we are. No, no, propaganda is, you know, throughout. Programming is the exact word to use. Yeah. So like, I mean, you look at it and it's just very like our world right now in the United States is very nationalistic, right? So we're just all about,
02:03:08
Speaker
The military opens up a nfl game nba game like playoffs super bowl You name it like is it? Oh, we gotta have a flyover and like The local girl scouts troop of fucking, you know, six one nine or whatever. Yeah and uh, and so yeah, I mean as the thing that you know, it's funny that the military is as poorly as I got treated, um
02:03:34
Speaker
It didn't completely sour me on the federal government. It took the border patrol to do that. Uh, and it just, it really like, like it just, it like dawned on me after a while. Like it didn't matter where I was in the federal government. It just, it like, it's completely obvious. They're, it's poorly run. It's run by people that are not completely smart. And they,
Frustrations with the System
02:04:00
Speaker
And they just continually and routinely hire people and put them in positions of power that just absolutely have no idea what they're doing. And then are just mostly consumed with keeping whatever power they have. That's ultimately their goal. And yeah, I wasn't a very political person and then all of a sudden I became a Border Patrol agent and I saw people
02:04:26
Speaker
You know, I saw I started listening to politics and paying attention. And then I was I was seeing people cross illegally into the country. And then I was letting them go into the country after two hours of paperwork. And I'm like, what the F is happening here? And then I just and then I started following war in the military.
02:04:48
Speaker
the whole government as a whole. And yeah, he like completely soured me, called me tinfoil hat. I don't care. Like, yeah, I would never encourage anyone's kid to go in the military. Not ever, not ever. And I agree with Rob as far as like, we should be promoting peace and that's it, period. We should not be promoting anything else. Well, I mean, most kids, Connor. Yeah.
02:05:15
Speaker
I would not encourage any of them to join the military. I've been overseas and I've had my fun. And that's neither here nor there. Because in the end, I'm 26 years old. Everybody who's listening to this podcast knows that I'm like 26 years old pushing 80. I didn't realize you were that young. Yeah. Actually, my birthday is next fucking week. Happy birthday, Doug.
02:05:44
Speaker
Thank you for the fucking birth. I'm sure I'll get to say it again. Happy birthday. Thank you, man. But my whole my whole like persona was was being this badass in the fucking military. And I loved it. I loved every fucking minute of it. And I wished I could have kept going. And they were like, some shit started happening with my body. And I was like, something's not right. And we got to check out and they're like, oh,
02:06:13
Speaker
And everybody started telling me, you're fucking gone. You're gone. You're gone. I'm like, there's no way to fix this. They're like, no. Every doctor I talk to, there's nothing we can do other than make you feel a little bit better. And then here in the next year or two, you're going to be crippled if you keep staying, if you keep going, keep working. It's so crazy that you say, because I know the question that you asked
02:06:40
Speaker
is so fucking crazy because you want to continue doing what you're doing. And I think that I think that a lot of us were in that situation at some point when you hit the fucking when you hit medical and you're like, oh, I fucking broke my finger. It's fine. Oh, no, you can't can't fucking pull a trigger or you can't fucking go out there and you can't do this. So that's the thing is like I look back at it now and I'm like, dude, fucking what? Why? Why did I rejoin?
02:07:09
Speaker
And join the fucking army and become a boot beater and a fucking, you know, fucking earth stopper and all the shit. Like, well, what the fuck was I thinking? My back already hurt when I fucking joined. And then those fucking those first doctor's appointments happen. And they're like, you're going to have problems with this for the rest of your life. I know you feel your legs right now. We're going to try and fix it with a surgery. And if that doesn't work, sorry. Here's a paycheck for the rest of your life figured out.
02:07:37
Speaker
And like my whole world was the fucking military man. Well, Connor, I believe everything and everybody, like everybody we meet and everything we go through, you know, we walk a path, you know, cradle the grave kind of thing. And so everything is an education in one way or another, other than
02:08:05
Speaker
uh signing something with without reading it as in joining the military yeah yeah uh other than that man you know i mean it sucks but i think there's education there i hope you learned it or yeah
02:08:26
Speaker
Yeah, he's not encouraging his kids to do it. There's education right there. He's tall like I am, or was, as I shrink by the day. He's tall like I am, and they're like, there might be a genetic component in it, but nine years of picking shit up the wrong way, or picking it up the right way, it doesn't matter how you do it. It's heavy enough. You do it often enough, and you're tall enough, and you've got the wrong genetics. You're fucked. Sorry.
02:09:04
Speaker
the the the the the the
02:09:24
Speaker
I appreciate you. Thank you for your service of me. your service. Fuck yourself, Lamrod. Yes, we haven't heard from you, buddy. So, so my son, he actually went in at seventeen.
Post-Military Life Decisions
02:09:45
Speaker
Yeah, I tried talking to him. You know, dad knows best but you
02:09:53
Speaker
said, you don't know shit. You don't know me. You don't know me. Well, he wanted to go in the tree and I'm like, don't. Well, actually, he wanted to go to be in a tanker and I'm like, why do you want to be a tanker? Do you not like hearing? You don't like hearing? There's nothing for you outside of that. Yeah. Like, what are you going to drive a tank down Madison Avenue, motherfucker? Exactly. That could be good.
02:10:23
Speaker
and you don't want to be known as a twat for the rest of your life. So that's why you don't join the Air Force, but go ahead. A tanker without a tank, twat. I thought you got British on me for a second. I'm just going to say it's actually.
02:10:50
Speaker
So he wound up joining at 17, went infantry. Um, he went national guard. Um, so he went basic training before or right after junior year, going into a senior year high school and then finished out. Um, after a senior year, just got out a little over a year or right out a year ago, already did six years and yep. Um,
02:11:20
Speaker
and is becoming a cop down in Florida. Wow, you're fucking old, dude. I thought I thought he'd be already. Yeah, he left. He left Gainesville. He's actually going to citrus. Tell him not to. Brian's plate number. Sheriff, Sheriff.
02:11:49
Speaker
I did it. I did it for a year. I wanted to shoot myself in the face. Dude, there's nothing worse than being a cop. I just want, I was like, dude, you got to figure it out on your own, buddy.
02:12:00
Speaker
Dude, my dad wanted me to join the FBI. I smell bacon. I was just like, no. Jesus Christ. I gave the world fucking enough time to try and kill me prematurely.
02:12:14
Speaker
fuck you you're stuck with me i'm not dude as a border patrol agent on the northern border i was running domestic calls i was running fucking just crazy town like every because there's no cops up there on the northern border so guess who they're calling you're in you're in camp they're calling me and i'm hey dude i'm only supposed to be like back up i show up and they're like the other cops they're like i don't know what to do and i'm like
02:12:41
Speaker
I'm not trained for this shit. I'm like, what do you want? So, yeah, this is this is like this is not something I yeah, as soon as I left the border patrol, I was like, I'm done. I'm not doing the moral law enforcement. You were you were border control and like on the Canada border. I was on the southern border for like two and a half years and then on the northern border for about six and a half. OK. OK, cool. All right. So Tom Horton's issues. So, Brandon, how many moves did how many moves did you bang?
02:13:10
Speaker
Yeah, right. The numbers below three. Spoken like a true warrior. Fuck yeah. He's a coastie. How many fish have you fucked? Brian. Brian.
02:13:33
Speaker
We don't have fish in our puddles. We're a coast guard. Who the fuck can I send you a Venmo? That was funny as fuck. I fucking I loved and hated my time in. I kind of liken it to my first marriage. Good God, I love that woman.
02:13:59
Speaker
But fuck me, I hate her guts. I'm the same way with my ass. That's right. That's a great description. And that's kind of how I feel about the military. Thank you. Yes, Applebee's, I will take that one dinner a year. Fuck that. And I will not be done with it. Other than that, it's a tattoo. But for me, it was a furtherance of a mentality of strength. Do we be?
02:14:29
Speaker
me, big strong Rob. No, it's it's perseverance of mind and will and spirit. We made some friends. I know you guys will agree with this. We all made really fucking cool friends.
02:14:43
Speaker
in our time that we served, we made, and we've got people that we may not talk to ever again, but you know who these people are. Like you'll think about them and you'll be like, I remember this fucking one time and this dude walks over and fucking just, you know what I'm saying? Like it's one of those things. Listen, I know if I call Biff or Chewy in a heartbeat, they're coming to hang out.
02:15:14
Speaker
I have a couple Air Force buddies that are definitely like that. One in particular that I still keep in touch with, he's down in Mississippi. I'll still roll down there and we'll fucking go light up the town like his fucking... It's like you just started yesterday, right? Like you just met and you're still friends? Yeah. You'll still make out. You'll still... No, wait. Sorry. I mean, just hang out. Hang out. I mean...
02:15:41
Speaker
the
02:15:59
Speaker
And I was at a loss because I was just recovering from understanding that everybody that says the word family doesn't actually mean it the way you do.
Advocacy for Peace and Integrity
02:16:13
Speaker
And so the Marines is one of my last families. And the desire for peace, it runs through my fucking blood.
02:16:27
Speaker
I was not. I'm like, I'm talking to these younger guys and I'm like, you know, it's it's it's better not to. You know what I mean? It has to be trained for it, but it's best not to use it. And fucking they were like, fuck that, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like this Call of Duty shit. I'm like, dude, oh, man, coins don't pop out of dead bodies in real life, dude. You know that, right? Say what? They rise, they stink.
02:17:03
Speaker
the the the the
02:17:25
Speaker
the the the
02:17:48
Speaker
warfare or real life is is like like what you see in the video game and you know, yeah, like like Rob said, there's no that only applies to UAV pilots. I was going to say like it is for some people, but like the reality of it, like the boom, boom, splash, splash shit. That's real. Yeah. And until you are on the receiving end,
02:18:18
Speaker
Don't talk shit about you know, if you're the only one sending rounds down range You know what I mean? You have nothing you have nothing at risk if you're like there's no risk for the UAV pilots, right? There's nothing Do it do it be a handed if you want to hunt a mountain lion do it be a handed
02:18:49
Speaker
I'm going to battle in accomplishment. Don't tell me you shot that fucker from fucking five or away. You know what I mean? Yeah. As Bruce Lee once said, don't hit back. Yeah. I'm sorry.
02:19:08
Speaker
I want. Yeah, you know what? I want the gummies that fucking Bruce Lee had because he had some fucking quips on him. That's one of Bruce Lee is one of my heroes. And, you know, I've read his his book and everything like that. And he did. He had some fucking, you know, like water Bruce Bruce Lee. I mean, besides his martial art skills, like philosophy wise, the dude was smart, like fucking dead on balls, smart.
02:19:38
Speaker
Yup. It was very quick. I want to ask you guys, because this is kind of a double-edged sword for me. It was a redhead. My answer's purple.
02:19:58
Speaker
I didn't know if it was who would you lose your or who got you arrested first All I have to say is worth it, I don't care the circumstance Yeah, even if you're listening that
02:20:23
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A female redhead
02:20:49
Speaker
And he says, you know, there's a redheaded devil in the doorway and he it was one night and I'm like Absolutely. Absolutely. Trust me. I understand Yeah
02:21:07
Speaker
But I want to ask you guys, you know, you guys all being veterans. And like I said, you know, I, I, I'm in the middle here. Sometimes it's like a little too extreme, a little maybe, maybe not so, not so pressing, but
02:21:23
Speaker
How do you guys feel about the whole these assholes? And they are assholes. Let's call it spade a spade. These dickheads who do the stolen valor bullshit and they and they cosplay and I will be a Marine that day and be every fucking one of their asses. All right. I just had I call them valor. I'm just saying. No, I just had one here not too long ago was on vacation and they were doing this veteran thing.
02:21:53
Speaker
And they were started asking, you know, who had, you know, a bronze star, silver star, purple heart, stuff like that. You know, they ask anybody in here, metal of honor. And this dude stood up, this guy stood up and we're all like, what? And he gave his name.
02:22:12
Speaker
Wow. We looked it up. Like it's not Googleable. Yeah, exactly. Hey, I'm a Marine. I have the entirety of human knowledge in my hand. Yeah. And he claimed that he claimed that he was a Medal of Honor recipient, that he was penned by Clinton. Wow. That narrows it down, doesn't it?
02:22:41
Speaker
Yeah, it does. Thanks for doing the work for me, dickhead. Yeah, so yeah, he got exposed pretty fucking quick. Did he get that number? That number was few and far between in the 90s, right? Like did like that jumped up later in like Obama years like that. Yeah, that's just ridiculous. Did he did he did he
02:23:06
Speaker
maintain his dental hygiene in the process. I'm pretty sure he did. I mean, there's one thing we found out I was we were all pissed. Oh, spider baby.
02:23:28
Speaker
the the the
02:23:51
Speaker
the same type of thing right
02:24:08
Speaker
Now, the two things I hate in the world is liars and thieves. And that's what I tell my kids. I do. You can steal food. Food is the one thing in the world I will never recall to anybody for fucking trying to steal. But lying. Your word is your bond.
02:24:35
Speaker
Uh, I can't, I mean, Tony Montana, uh, integrity, do the right thing. Even when, especially when no one's looking, then when your, when your integrity is called into question, you can look the light square in the eye. As, as my grandfather always used to tell me, this is words that I live by to this day. Say what you do and do what you say.
02:25:04
Speaker
you'll always be in the right. So I was just curious, you know, cause sometimes you watch these videos and I'm like, you see videos on YouTube and I like, you know, I understand the frustration in the aggravation because you guys, you guys were there and some guys, you know, some guys were, were, were just serving food. Other guys were in the trenches and stuff like that, you know, and then sometimes it's like, yeah, but I mean, you're in public, you're making a spectacle, you're acting a fool.
02:25:35
Speaker
Understand the aggravation and frustration But then there's other times where it's like, you know everything about this cat just catch him in private and as Rob said are you up to date on your fucking dental insurance because It's like those guys who get PTSD because they played COD like my fucking brother and
02:26:10
Speaker
He's such a cocksucker that he'd laugh at us because he took advantage of the system
02:26:17
Speaker
and I'm not getting fucking political. I hate the person or hate the system. I don't know which is worse, right? Like there's the ability to it. So I'm with you because the system at least I don't know. Like the system's not there. They can't do it. At least the intent of the system is for the good. The intent for the fucking I don't know. The intent for the thief is selfish.
02:26:47
Speaker
And that's the antithesis of society. We had to work together to be here talking to each other right now. Well, we did. Unfortunately, not everybody has the same mindset. You guys all have integrity. You guys all have
02:27:09
Speaker
Honor, I can't speak for these motherfuckers, but I Fake my military ID I'm evilest motherfucker ever I do know this my my vet card will let me snort more cocaine off strippers ass if I didn't
02:27:37
Speaker
your veterinarian lets you do that my vet card oh my bad i'm sorry veteran oh yeah my bad yeah brandon's hitting the hard shit the fuck yeah i don't randon fell down a k-hole i don't have that card i didn't i didn't serve enough um and yeah so so about the stolen valor thing like i just i don't like liars
02:28:04
Speaker
the the the
02:28:25
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's bad. That's so bad. I don't like anybody who depends. Yeah, yeah. I don't like, honestly, even if you're like just claiming to be in the military and you were never in the military, honestly, just that lying alone is just, yeah, that's bullshit. Like, to me, that's a lot of people that you fucking beat up over because... Yeah.
02:28:49
Speaker
the fifth
02:29:09
Speaker
That's not. Don't make it a fucking habit because you should exhaust every absolute avenue before you do it. But some people deserve a punch in the face. There might punch you back, you know, but you should punch them in the face. No, tell them to palm the face. Don't don't fucking punch. They'll break the fuck out of their hand. Just use your fucking palm and pop.
02:29:35
Speaker
right in their fucking snot locker and I guarantee it stops them in their fucking.
False Military Claims and Entitlement
02:29:40
Speaker
And I'm sure all you have ran into this, the dependents who wore their their the rank of of their their spouse, that shit pissed me off when I was in. Oh, no. We didn't have that. We didn't really have that at all. No.
02:30:03
Speaker
The wives or husbands. Yeah, yeah. Like you'd be out somewhere and it's like a spouse that's not even in the military. Do you know who I am? Not physically wearing the rank. Do you know who my husband is? They have that entitlement. Oh, yeah. So symbolically wearing it. I got you. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Sorry. Sorry.
02:30:55
Speaker
I thought you were actually, like, wearing a uniform, like, what the fuck? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
02:30:57
Speaker
Karen's primitive that they were the symbiotes that were, you know, they wiggled out of the water and started walking. Right. Rob's onto something here. Yeah, we need to we need to like mark this down time. This is this is significant.
02:31:26
Speaker
So I want to ask you guys, are any of you guys, this is kind of a comical thing and I'm not even a military guy and I know better than this. Are any of you guys on TikTok, actively on TikTok or watching TikTok or scroll TikTok or anything like that? I don't scroll, but I'm on there a little bit when I feel like I need to be. So there's the cat that's on TikTok currently who is getting
02:32:09
Speaker
the the the the
02:32:20
Speaker
that was the setup
02:32:33
Speaker
I don't I don't know who it is. Like I said, I've been trying to go back. I can't find the original video and the original comment. Also, I'm really fucking lazy and I have ADHD. So let's be honest.
02:32:49
Speaker
you scroll and I'm watching 10 videos of people stitching this comment and and and just railing this like this dude if he was like in a porno his asshole is this fucking big at the end of the day by the amount of people who are railing him
02:33:06
Speaker
So, he made a comment and I'm assuming it was something military related. He said, I am a retired E twelve and I'm going to tell you, you know nothing about what you're talking about. Excuse me. Actually, it's funny because I think I already got a hold of that guy. Well, this is the one reading his asshole.
02:33:31
Speaker
the the
02:33:52
Speaker
there's nothing so max is out of the nine right yeah if you're nine is that like the equivalent of like a sergeant or it depends on the service like it's a master senior master chief or I forget what it is yeah major yes in the marine master gunnery sergeant oh yeah so it depends it depends on the service
02:34:16
Speaker
So so basically first sergeant sergeant major commands are major I Think it's the same thing in the Marine Corps, right Rob It's math master guns or a sergeant major, but that depends on your job and in the same thing happens I think a grade below its master sergeant or first sergeant
02:34:44
Speaker
First sergeant deals with people mass the size and deals with stuff Yeah, you know, I mean a size of major deals with people Matt the gun is the pencil pusher that that fucking squeaked through the fucking cracks in the army they call they call sergeant, what is it? First sergeant and sergeant major is top. Is that right? Top is first sergeant
02:35:11
Speaker
first on top of the top of the top of the company of the company. Yeah. In the marine, it's mass mass sergeant, but first sergeant mass sergeant is the same rank, but nobody ever calls the first sergeant top. We don't see that. But go ahead. I'm sorry. But with so there again with the different jobs, MOS is
02:35:40
Speaker
You know, some first sergeants would allow them to call him top to where when I was in the infantry, it was first sergeant. So so either way, there's no E 12.
02:36:03
Speaker
I bring this up is because I I challenge you guys to find said comment if you're not already following Nonsense will network on tick tock go follow us. I'm gonna find you guys to find it and stitch it and tag
02:36:20
Speaker
uh i'm gonna follow up on this attitude that i gave this motherfucker oh yeah and i read that and even as a civilian you know never been in the military you know my dad was military my dad was on her first he was airborne uh both my grandfathers were uh air force and an army uh they were in korea and stuff like that my ex-wife her grandfather
02:36:48
Speaker
he's passed away, but one thing from this man, even though he's gone, he is still a fucking Marine. Oh yeah. There's no such thing as former Marine. Yeah. And I was going to get to that too because here's the thing. Like, no, there is. There definitely is. A former Navy, Brendan's former Coast Guard, former Air Force, former Air Force, former Army, but we have a Marine on the stage and that's the bottom line. So, you know, when I read that,
02:37:19
Speaker
the the the
02:37:38
Speaker
Any account names? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold
02:38:12
Speaker
All right, so e12 that's it Oh
02:38:31
Speaker
I'm gonna need to see that. What do you got, Mark? Hold on. Okay, all you gotta do is type in on a clock is E12 on TikTok and it comes off. Go away. I swear to God, bro. As an E12, as an E12, I have...
02:38:59
Speaker
the the the
02:39:31
Speaker
is that this guy Jesus is that he is that he is
02:39:58
Speaker
That's not him. This is him. Oh, shit. Oh, let's see if I can. Fuck, I got to take off my background to get it up. Listen, when I was Navy SEAL Delta 4, it was really hard for me to jump into the Marine Reconnaissance section, but it really, you know, it helped that I was an E52-31. And yeah, it really helped. It really helped.
02:40:45
Speaker
That's the only show on this network I want to know about this shit. I want to see it firsthand. Yes. Yes. No I Will pay
02:40:57
Speaker
no we should be reaching out to this guy we should be reaching out to this guy to get him on the show so we can hear his
02:41:06
Speaker
Mark, you're great at getting guests, Mark. I implore you to reach out to him and and get him on Monday night show and and because I'm sure that he's. Mark, Mark, Mark, here we go. Listen, guys. Listen, guys, Mark, you start with this. You start with this. I've never met an E12 before. Oh, I know. How big is your cock?
02:41:36
Speaker
You know how many chevrons and E12 has? You know, you have on your sleeve. Hey, Game of Thrones really nailed it. It really all does boil down to Cox, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. You motherfuckers. Yeah, that is a dragon pussy. That dragon pussy. Oh, my God. Yeah.
02:42:09
Speaker
I've never watched it. I only watched the first season. It was very disturbing. I watched it all. It was awesome. There was a lot of content. I watched one episode. It was a little weird. Mark's trying to get me to watch that. Did you get that? Oh my God. Put it back on.
02:42:32
Speaker
I need my so much one episode. Aquaman. Thank you. And I'm like, what was that? That was like the second episode, I believe. Yeah, I don't know what was going on. I'm like, that's Aquaman. And apparently that chick can give birth to dragons. And he's scraping the hell out of her. So you think that would have been enough for me to stay. But that was a better role than Aquaman, that's for sure.
02:43:02
Speaker
You are on tiktok my man. Nice bueno me too. I fucking love tiktok. It's fun Dude I'll fucking Make sure you guys follow the nonsensical network just saying I will argue with your ass Well, you won't argue with me then no, you won't
02:43:38
Speaker
Well, you know, there's a lot of crazy bitches out there that'll just friend you and then stalk you so, you know, I got I got to put up fences crazy bitches Nothing but I would love to have a political discussion with Robin Brendan
02:43:58
Speaker
Yes, let's do it. I'm in. I'm just kidding. Don't tell the NSA I'm on here right now. You're not that. Yeah, right. You're right. You're right, Rob. Did you hear Rob? The Earth is a triangle. Agreed. Next.
02:44:26
Speaker
I'm sorry, dude. You know, I'm just poking. I'm poking. I'm poking. That's all. I'm sorry. I'm all gravy, baby. All right. Now you have to put a political hair together for these guys. Shut up, Brian. I'm in. Yeah, dude. Jump on TikTok. It's my name. That's it. Rob Miller.
Social Media and Military Humor
02:44:48
Speaker
Yeah. Look for the forehead. How do you spell mellow? Is it M-E-L-L-O-W?
02:44:54
Speaker
No, he's offended. Fuck you, please. You uncultured fucking swine went wrong with you. Who spoke? That was fucking that was Air Force. I smelled a tinge of bullshit.
02:45:29
Speaker
better than the bird tired and hamster smell of the Coast Guard guy. But yeah, cool. It's the Air Force guy. Yeah. Outside of outside of the special needs class, the Coast Guard. You know, the military has a lot, not only just the military just has a long line of just being absolute kickasses and badass motherfuckers.
02:45:39
Speaker
Yes, you do. Yes, you do. They add extra letters to every fucking page.
02:45:56
Speaker
And we know at the end of the day why bread and signed up for the Coast Guard He watched that one fucking commercial and I was like the waves are crash Do you remember the movie the ringer I
02:46:21
Speaker
never mind. Never mind. The history has a has a history. Y'all **** with each other like nobody else. You know, like, yes. So, you know, this, you know, this right here, some of us deserve it. This, this right here is like a normal deployment. Yeah. I took around and I tell you, I grew up in Thunderdome. You know, I
02:46:50
Speaker
be right now on top of things. Clearly, Brian didn't wear a Thunderdome because he's a little slow. There are times when you guys are on base or on a ship and there's Navy and Marines or Air Force or whatever, you know, there's times where you guys are all together and you guys all rag each color at the end of the day.
02:47:20
Speaker
because they suck. Go ahead. Glick Glick, you'll appreciate it. So I I was in a joint exercise with Navy and they were out in my bomb dump wasn't my bomb dump, but I claimed it. And and we were unloaded. Well, they were unloading buoys off my trailer. They were so fucking slow. I had to kick the motherfucker off the forklift in order to do it myself. That's how bad they are.
02:47:48
Speaker
slow. How would you do it yourself? Fast. Well, first I would grab my nuts with my left and then, you know, Brian, Brian, I got fucking two words for you. Are you ready? I'm in. I'm looking at you right in the eyes. You ready? Yeah. Oh, shit. This is hot. General. General quarters. Let's go.
02:48:12
Speaker
You gotta get the fuck out of my way. Listen, this is where we get to go to sleep. Oh, Brian, I got a question. One or the other. Brian, I have a question for you. Yes, sir. Did you ever have to experience hot cots? No, I didn't go on to a submarine. Fair enough. That's sub talk. OK. That's a hot comment. So my uncle was
02:48:40
Speaker
I don't know what the **** it is, but I've heard that phrase. My uncle was in the Navy. Brian, explain what hot cots are. So, a hot cot is I work a 12-hour shift. Nick works a 12-hour shift right after me. He shares my cot. So, I work 12 hours and then I go to sleep.
02:49:04
Speaker
as he's
02:49:35
Speaker
Whoever said sure is it you are my fucking best friend
02:49:39
Speaker
That would be me. Hey, guys. Listen, listen. Hey, enough is shaming about his love of hot cocks. This is not OK. OK. I think we could talk Brian into meeting this behind the fucking restrooms. Listen, listen here. Just get us some green. All right. Hey, hey.
02:50:14
Speaker
How much did you receive
02:50:20
Speaker
the the the the
02:50:46
Speaker
I got a question for everybody. You ready? Here's something crazy real quick. Real quick. Something crazy. Go Rob. You guys know what NCIS is? Are you a fad? Not the show.
02:51:04
Speaker
Oh, you know what NCIS is a little golf chick naval criminal investigation service. Yes, correct. Yeah. So I got picked up by NCIS. Oh, you don't fucked up. You're such a. The emoting gets the fucking man. Oh, yeah. That's what the other guys got picked up all the same time. I sat in a room in handcuffs for like an hour.
02:51:30
Speaker
and I was like, where the fuck are the cameras at? I mean, no, dude, they were like, are you the red dragon? And I was like, what the fuck is a red dragon? Did the bail sugars bail you out? Oh, here's the Nazi story. Isn't that the group from fucking Tropic Thunder or something? Ecstasy, bro. Fucking red dragon.
02:51:54
Speaker
They wanted to know about the red dragon that served ecstasy. And I was like, I have no clue what you're fucking talking about. That's the incompetence. That's pretty fun. And then I called Brenda and I was like, hey, can you meet me up? That was some great. Dude, dude, they're on to us. I want to hear Rob's question. Oh, sorry, Rob.
02:52:15
Speaker
Oh fuck, I'm high. I totally forgot that. Well, yeah, yeah. And I only ate half of it. How many milligrams? I don't fucking know.
02:52:47
Speaker
Spicy calories 200 Spicy calories get it right now Do that click no, I did the math for you. It's 200. That's quite I want to do that quite a bit
02:53:04
Speaker
do what? 200? So a whole gummy is 400 milligrams. Or is a whole milligram. Dude, I just ate one earlier, and it was only five milligrams. I'm like, I knew it. Pussy. Nothing. Nothing. Never had it. I would never do anything like that. Mark, you heard his admission. I've done 1,000 at one time. I heard it.
02:53:34
Speaker
So that's not seen that Delta eight bullshit. No, no. I don't. I did a thousand milligrams THC fucking. Yeah. I worked in the. Five years. I won my shit.
02:53:53
Speaker
His name is Blazer for a reason. You guys have got to see. You guys get to meet the new boys. I knew Blazer. This this cat literally just messaged me today and he was like. We did get a lot of together. I stumbled across the line and I was like, yeah, I don't remember the lie. I don't remember it. Oh, because I drink. I used to smoke online every like I would be online and I don't know. Over, over, over again.
02:54:24
Speaker
smoking joints, hitting the bong. Dude, I would have like all three going on at once. Hitting dads, dude, I was... While I was praying to Jesus. Good job.
02:54:55
Speaker
I will admit a five milligram gummy would probably fuck me up, right?
02:55:02
Speaker
I'm just saying, oh, I couldn't handle anything. It's the medical five milligrams and I ate a half the other day and I was like, it didn't do anything. And I was like, all right, I'm going to eat one. So I ate a five. And then I was like, what the fuck is going on right now? Why? Do you know what the difference is? Do you know what the difference between a five milligrams and a medical five milligrams is? Nothing.
02:55:33
Speaker
I want to ask Wes, and I guess Connor can be looped in this as well. Hold on. This is going to be the last question for us tonight. Oh, you said as long as it took. You said as long as it took.
02:55:54
Speaker
we still have Monday to go. We still have Monday. I did not agree to Monday. I agreed to today. Hold on a second guys. Guys, hold on a second. You six gentlemen, you'll understand this. I'm going to rank Mark. If you would like to go to bed, you can go to bed. Uh, we can keep the show going as long as we want.
02:56:19
Speaker
the fifth
02:56:46
Speaker
Now I can't remember my question. I was trying to figure out why I hadn't done that earlier. My pops was in the army. He was up there in first. Okay, sorry Rob. This is not me. This is just something I grew up hearing. And I want to ask if this is the thing that happens or if this is the thing that is said. My pops always said the best thing about the Marines were they made great shields first in first to die.
02:57:16
Speaker
and they made great shields. So as an army guy, Connor, you're an army guy as well. Is there any truth to this? I know the Marines are badass. We're not discrediting the Marines in any way, shape and or form. That is what you're programmed to do from day one. You guys are programmed to destroy everything in front of you.
02:57:39
Speaker
The House always said the best thing about the Marine was they were the they were the tops, not the shields, the best shields you ever find in combat. I will say being part of QRF. We went and we went out more Marines than we did Army. Well, like I said, no disrespect. I mean, I want to hear wrong. That's that's quick response force.
02:58:10
Speaker
So basically when the shit hits the fan and they go, all right, we need backup. We have 10 10 minutes to be airborne. And we can be anywhere within 30. But your shoulder and shoulder not with with just army, your shoulder shoulder with everybody, right? Everybody. It didn't matter. I mean, I mean, you got other nations. It didn't matter. That's right. You know,
02:58:37
Speaker
being in Iraq, I mean, there was other countries there too, that were allies to us. So we would go out for them as well. No, and like I said, no disrespect. I was just wondering, one of my best friends, R.I.P. died in combat. And, you know,
02:59:00
Speaker
got nothing but love for the cat, but that was just something I grew up always hearing. You know, you hear the jokes and you hear the, the jabs and everything like that. I'm like, yeah, but I mean, I mean, for the Marine Corps, I mean, yes, they're going to be first because, you know, the president says, yep, throw the dart. That's where they're going tomorrow.
02:59:27
Speaker
I mean with the army you have to fuck up so bad that you get the republicans and the democrats actually agree on something Yes, who the fuck said that i'm saying You motherfucker that was brilliant you dirty bastard
02:59:51
Speaker
But I mean, it's the truth, though. I mean, you ain't fucking lying. And I mean, and then on top of it, you know, they can have them flying in 36 hours later. You know, airborne could be anywhere in 36 hours. You know, so what are you guys doing making a sandwich or something? What the fuck?
03:00:21
Speaker
So wait, wait, Rob, are you saying that the army is your equivalent of a wife? Because they're too busy making new sandwiches. That's why it takes them so long. I'm waiting for Nikki to walk up behind you, slap you in the back of the head. It's happening in three, two, one. I wouldn't say yes. I wouldn't say yes. Damn. You got hit in the face. That's the guy that was waiting right there.
03:00:56
Speaker
wait until the art of the martini is taught at west point the army cannot be the marines i don't have to worry about i don't have to worry about nicki coming in here slap me in the back of the head right now because she is on her way back from pa because we are kidnapping
03:01:20
Speaker
one of our
03:01:38
Speaker
We are kidnapping we are kidnapping for the weekend for those of you guys who have watched the Saturday night shows or been a part of the shows. You guys know who Shannon is. Yes, she's she's.
03:01:54
Speaker
one of our one of our best friends and uh what are you doing? And uh we're we're stealing her for the weekend because she needs to get the **** out of PA and she needs uh uh a break from PA. So, she's going to come and spend the weekend with us. So, I've got a question. So, there you go. I've got no, I don't have to be all three of my kids are here. So, not empty house. What's your question, Rob? Uh for
03:02:24
Speaker
If you were gone for a day, what would you do? Okay, can I get it? Can I let him answer that before everybody starts? Yeah, yeah That's a wise choice Papa bear yeah what video game That's the one that can play call of duty better than you
03:02:50
Speaker
Yeah. This is, this is the champion junior. This is the champion junior. So if you could be God for one day, what would you do? He's going to say something about Russia. He hates Russia. It's weird. Let him talk. What would you do if you would be God for one day? You don't know. I don't mean to be rude. I apologize. No, you're fine. No.
03:03:37
Speaker
the fifth and fifth
03:03:40
Speaker
Yes. It must pass all thrifted tastes. Unlimited beer for father. All right, look at your turn. No, that's it. Go to Mark. Mark, it's your turn. Mark, if you were God for a day. Normally, I'd be a smart ass with this answer, but I would take and make my joints. No, that's you.
03:04:09
Speaker
uh make my joints uh be real again you know where i don't have to worry about uh getting them replaced i thought you were talking about weed there for a moment no no no uh no i i have um i have generated uh uh joints in my body that are my bones are dying mark won't smoke the joints but he'll eat the candy yeah oh he's fucking candy either
03:04:38
Speaker
Yeah, I made candy and he's like, yeah, that was really fucking good. And I'm like, Oh, okay. Cause I fucking flew off the fucking handle the other night when I was just joking. Cause like, it sounded funny when it in my head. No, but for real, uh, I think we all, uh, we all appreciate and understand, uh, the importance of honesty and integrity. So.
03:05:08
Speaker
answer with honesty and integrity.
Beliefs and Religion Discussion
03:05:13
Speaker
I'll answer real quick. I would I would remove the idea of gods altogether. Yeah, I heard this story the other night when I was listening to the show. And we'll talk more about that later. What's that? Who me? Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. When you guys were talking about
03:05:35
Speaker
Uh, what was it? The, you felt like, or you feel like there is a God, but it's not just one God, maybe more. Is that why I never said that. No, I don't know. I got to play the show. I, I, I, I, I, I, we were, we were talking about religion. I know what he's talking about. Please. We were talking about religion and plays your, your, your, um, I'm an atheist.
03:06:00
Speaker
Yeah, I was going to say agnostic. Technically an agnostic atheist, but I think the agnostic thing is kind of irrelevant. How can you be an agnostic atheist?
03:06:16
Speaker
Cause an agnostic believes that there's a God just doesn't know really what it is. Agnosticism is about knowledge. Atheists is about belief.
03:06:35
Speaker
I don't know. No. Atheists does not believe about God. That's like that's the whole thing with atheism. Agnosticism is is about knowledge. I don't know. Therefore, I'm an atheist. I don't believe. No, yeah. Right. I feel like you're stretching, but OK. No, I'm not. No, totally. Totally. I got this. Look at the route. Look at the route where I was the one that said,
03:07:04
Speaker
you know, with the various different religions and everything like that, that everybody, you know, there's so many different gods out there that, you know, like I'm not necessarily a quote unquote question, but I'm not going to say there's an afterlife or not an afterlife. You know, what I believe in is what I believe in. And that's for me. Let's not get blazing on his
03:07:33
Speaker
Without completely twisting the show, what to show us about, I think it comes down to with religious, it's finding peace. And I'm very anti-shit.
03:07:52
Speaker
your anti-shit sometimes you're gonna have to you know your dad's having a stroke the same South Park you can't pull back your mouth my house
03:08:17
Speaker
Is that toast? I'm constipated and I can't get up. Organized religion, that's what I was looking for. I don't believe in organized religion, but when it comes to religion, no matter what you believe in or who you believe in, it all comes down to inner peace if you believe in something at the end of the day.
03:08:39
Speaker
Yeah. The Church of Glick. There we go. Well, there's folks out there and it's a legitimate line of thought that like belief is fucking silly. It's a silly concept. It's just like me and regret. I don't regret a goddamn thing. Good, bad and ugly that I've ever done in this lifetime because it got me here. I think Rob and I have a lot of things in common. I'd like to explore this, but not tonight.
03:09:29
Speaker
I would love to have this conversation. Not tonight. I have a six hour drive tomorrow to Michigan, but
03:09:42
Speaker
I still gotta go jerk off with a cheese grater, you fucking person. What's wrong with you? You put some icy hot on afterwards. But Brendan and Rob, I would love to have this conversation at a future date. I absolutely. I mean, you do realize that that Nikki on a whim just on on a random ass
03:10:04
Speaker
text. Took off and drove three hours to PA and she's driving three hours back. You know, I'm just saying. She doesn't even have fucking testicles. No testicles. None. There's no, you go like the balls. There's no, there's no scrotum. They're just kind of, I think you're getting it. There's a question here. What was it?
03:10:34
Speaker
the the the the
03:10:54
Speaker
Oh, yeah. All right. So who's up next then? Fuck. Who's gotten that? Wes. Wes is up next. He's like, I'm good. He's like, I'm not touching with the Rob's dick and Glick pushing.
03:11:10
Speaker
I'm in. Listen, I'm in. Hey, listen, I would wipe out every central power in the in the fucking world. I don't care what kind of vacuum it would fucking produce. I don't care. Can every central power go on? Raise your hand so I can see what I would like, you know, be like, hey, who's talking to me? I'm talking this guy. Coast Guard puddle pirate. Short bus.
03:11:37
Speaker
short bus but hey motherfucker oh you it's purdy mouth it's purdy mouth all right yeah i like i like to ride in the bus and i can swim really good i can't even i can't even swim that good really honestly windows on the bus taste really good i was i was i was a lifeguard but it was only because they gave me that red tube thing dude you you make the case for me
03:12:04
Speaker
Dude, I totally rocked that half-shirt and they they they really got mad at me when I wore the roller skates
03:12:20
Speaker
We are we dude, we are fucking sitting down and we're gonna write a goddamn script We're gonna get And we're gonna have fun I have an idea for a skip Rob. It's border patrol meets redo 911. Okay? Oh Like right now it would hit hard man, I
03:12:48
Speaker
the
03:13:05
Speaker
what do you mean, central power? Like everything, government, central power, yeah. Okay, thanks. Very communist. Yeah, anything. That's not anarchist, I'd say. Oh yeah, thank you, yes. Much more anarchist than communist, yes. Please raise your hand if you're anarchist. Anarchist, Nicholas. Anyway, I'm dropping it, I'm dropping it. Who's up next? This is up, brother. Be safe tomorrow. Jesus.
03:13:35
Speaker
I've listened to you guys talking. I don't even fucking know. I'd probably make it so that I can suck my own dick. Can I change my answer? I'm sure there's a learning curve, but I get it eventually.
03:13:54
Speaker
like I'm gone. I can make it so I can suck my own dick and it's just a regular Tuesday and he's just sucking it. Wait a second. He doesn't have a back. I mean like he must be going to do it now. Like, dude, his Steinfeld is on the TV. His SpaghettiOs are cooling on the table and he's like, you know what? I got some time to kill. Yeah, I fucking love SpaghettiOs. Listen, my wife's at work all fucking day and I can't work so what am I going to do? Well, like, kids are at school. I'm going to blow myself.
03:14:30
Speaker
If I could I fucking would just So just
03:14:53
Speaker
Just real one quick question, would you spit or swallow?
03:14:59
Speaker
You have to try to swallow once, right? It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true. It is so true.
03:15:50
Speaker
make it's like the fifth one this week
03:15:54
Speaker
And then what's funny is you start fucking hawking the shopping list. And if you see asparagus, you scratch it the fuck off. Scratch it the fuck off. Oh, yes. I literally just had to... We don't like asparagus in this house, no mo. You must be tricked. Yes. Fuck you all.
03:16:18
Speaker
I just made that conversation with my fiance last night because she made asparagus for her and my middle daughter. She was like, no, it's not. I was like, yeah, it is. You know how you don't like it when I drink too much and it doesn't and things don't taste great. I was like, you think I like when you fucking eat asparagus?
03:16:46
Speaker
Did you doing all this But
03:17:15
Speaker
I hope she's eating asparagus on a pickup order in the car right now. The winner is supposed to be explored unless being asparagus. I'm out. Sorry. I'm just saying. Somebody looked at wild asparagus and was like,
03:17:44
Speaker
I fucking wonder and fucking nod and like, God, are you fucking kidding me? And then they somehow in some fucking reason beyond me, they cultivated that shit and made it squishier, which begs the fucking question, how fucking bad was that first fucking taste and why the fuck would you decide to cultivate it? Listen, that's why you were asking. It's good.
03:18:09
Speaker
Not only are they cultivating it, but they're like, we can bake it. We can fry it. Now they can fucking air fry it. Or they can throw it in a goddamn ninja and turn it into a fucking smoothie. I mean, you know what you're doing? You can make anything you can make shit taste like fucking filet mignon. But listen, you know, speaking of that, we usually bake it. There's a bacon on it. And it's fantastic.
03:18:35
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I got that old school mindset. You look a little on a pig, but it's still a pig. Yeah, you're not. I fucking love this. Hey, Mark, I'm not. Mark, Mark, can can we do this once a week? That would be fun. Oh, that's what we're going to go with.
03:18:58
Speaker
What? The Motley crew of silly bastards. Do not make the ginger angry girls. And I can't. Shut the fuck up. Sunday. Sunday nights has has become online VFW. All right. Fair enough. Let's fucking do it. Mark, if you can get me if you can get me Rob's information.
03:19:27
Speaker
If you can give me Rob's information, uh, I would like to make Rob a permanent member of Saturday night show, uh, the nonsensical nonsense show. Uh, because I think Rob would be perfect on Saturday nights. Yes, he would. Yes, he would. Let's talk contracts and money.
03:19:52
Speaker
the
03:20:05
Speaker
Yeah, the answer to your question, Rob, if I was gut for a day, first and foremost, the first thing I do is make myself the greatest podcast host on the planet. The second thing I do is allow myself to whoop Joe Rogan's ass because fuck you, Joe Rogan. You got shit on me. And I know in real life, Joe Rogan would kick the shit out of me. Let's be honest. But that's beside the point.
03:20:31
Speaker
but also, I mean, Rob, are you really in the realm of talking money? I mean, again, I need to bring it up again. I'm one of the 10 pound little blonde shit kicked your ass. I'm just saying. Rob's in it because Connor swallows, so I mean.
03:20:50
Speaker
the
03:21:08
Speaker
mildly disappointing, but also really bad ass. That guy scares the hell out of me. You scared the fuck out of me, bro. And I'm a horror fan. I can't watch the horror movies. My whole ass, like, Freddie didn't scare me. Jason didn't scare me. Leatherface didn't scare me. Michael Myers didn't scare me. None of these pinheads didn't scare me. Chucky's a little bitch ass. The first time I watched Chucky, I'm like, he's a fucking doll, bro. He's two and a half feet tall.
03:21:38
Speaker
They don't mask you in that first movie.
Family Advice on Military Enlistment
03:21:40
Speaker
I'm like, that guy kind of terrifies me. I have. I have. Because it looked real compared to the others. So. I don't. I don't. What movies were you in? I don't know. I put the mask on. Rob, put the mask on and then come back on to this camera.
03:22:03
Speaker
I mean, you tell him what to do, Brian. He doesn't know. I don't know. But I'm sure you're going to be called Happy Death Day or Happy Death Day to you. One of the two may have. It's like it's like I think I think I worked. I was a caterer. He was a caterer. He was a craft table. Yeah.
03:22:31
Speaker
I will look at if he if he sees the mask I think that he'd be like oh my god I know the mask. That's what I said is. Happy death day is a horror version that looks familiar but I can't place it but I will look it up have happy death day all right cool yeah it is that.
03:23:21
Speaker
the the the
03:23:21
Speaker
that the
03:23:38
Speaker
the the the the the the
03:24:06
Speaker
you just pan your camera around just so we can make sure. Can you can you just pan the camera? He's not here. I don't fuck. He's in his basement. I'm in my basement. I'm in mine's basement.
03:24:30
Speaker
it's where I record every week. Listen, the very first time I saw the background, Brendan, I was like, dude, do you have a bunch of beer taps behind you? That's what I was thinking. That's what I thought. I literally thought it was a fucking bunch of beer taps. It's my boiler. You want to join them, motherfucker? I mean, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, it's my boiler and the zones.
03:25:00
Speaker
Oh, cool. Mark, I know it's late. If you want to leave, buddy, I got this. Your show's in great hands. Brian and Mark. Mark was like, I've lost total control of this shit. I already knew what I already knew what was going to happen. Mark's not a lot of leave.
03:25:17
Speaker
match the market game master. Look at him. He's like, man, I think I shall retire for the evening. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe I'm miss remembering, but I feel like I was one of the only ones that I would say I would like absolutely not recommend the military.
03:25:36
Speaker
the other
03:25:57
Speaker
the the
03:26:20
Speaker
That was yeah. Was a veteran's day? Oh, okay. Okay. All right. All right. And then, uh, the Air Force guy that couldn't fucking sit still. Okay. So like, I've, I've, I've had like one, two, three, four, five, I've had six or seven beers. So I may not be remembering correctly. Yeah. So, uh, I guess my question was taken time out, timeout real quick.
03:26:49
Speaker
You had six or seven beers and you can't remember after six or seven beers. Hold on, hold on. He's got a count again. Two of them are 16-ounce beers. He's a fucking coast guy. Shut up. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I've had 11 16-ounce beers tonight. Yeah, your beers are like 4%. Keep drinking them all over the place, buddy.
03:27:23
Speaker
I just know he doesn't drown in it. That's right. Thank you. Elijah Craig, come on, buddy. You could do better than that. Elijah Craig, come on. Come on. This guy. Calm down. You have an idea of Coast Guard. Calm down. Don't touch it to anybody. I can show you Zealand's will be more of a man than you. All right.
03:27:44
Speaker
I don't know about that. I think you should check that one Listen I'm not I'm not trying to call people out I'm just trying to say I just want to know if you did change your mind from whatever it was six months ago three months ago four months ago I'm just curious like what changed your mind I'm not because
03:28:10
Speaker
So I guess Wes and Brian and I thought, I really thought Connor was on there. Connor was not. Okay. So I guess I saw Connor on a different show. So, um, I guess, I guess my question would be to like, if you did change your mind, then like, what made you change your mind in just the short time that, that I saw you guys, like Wes, um,
03:28:35
Speaker
your kid was in there, right? Like at that point, your kid was already in the military, right? He just got out. So... Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He just got out and... So you didn't encourage him at all? No.
03:29:16
Speaker
that's it. That's what I said. You don't **** go in the **** Marine Corps. I'm sorry. You don't. You don't **** go in the movie. You go in the you go in the air. No, I'm glad I I'm listen. I I'm so glad I'm glad I I'm glad I misremembered. I'm like it makes my heart happy that no one's encouraging this. Hold on. Hold on. Wait. Wait. Hold on. I I got one for you. You know, my
03:29:18
Speaker
no that's good that I thought like I guess I guess
03:29:46
Speaker
and talk to him about the nature. He talked her out of everything, except the fucking Marines, and she went there. Oh, Jesus. Sorry, bro. Listen, I tried. I said, if you go into a branch, become a photographer, or a fucking band person, because that's, you don't have to deploy. You're like, you get to stay home and do dumb shit. So if you want to do something, you go in and be in like the military band,
03:30:17
Speaker
or something like that. Like I showed her different things. And I was like, listen, this is what I did in the military. And I showed her fucking chemical warfare shit. And she was like, oh, that's cool. And I was like, it's not really cool. And she was like, oh, it's really kind of cool, though, because I like that kind of shit. Mass murder. Yeah, I'm into it too, dude.
03:30:45
Speaker
Well, you know, that's one of the other things I get. I get asked, like, you know, my my kids are homeschooled, so we don't have to worry about presentation like that at like schools. I know we're weirdos. So but the other thing is like that fucking guy. But like, but yeah, yeah. And I'm proud of it. Honestly, I'm so proud of it. I'm so proud of it because public school blows ass. So my question, I guess, is like when you get asked
03:31:15
Speaker
You feel the way you feel when you get asked to go to a school or get Presented at a school even just your picture Like how do you feel about that? Like what do you what do you say? Here's my question why why do I have to Like somebody was like, oh I work at Lowe's and they put my picture up and I was like why I
03:31:43
Speaker
It's it's it's it's an appreciation thing, man. That's all. I mean, I know. I know. I know. I want to. I want to use the status as an advertisement. You're 10% off because you're the guy on the **** wall. I don't know. It's it's it's it's hollow. It's a hollow appreciation. You know, like Rob said, it is very hollow. It's it's a company making money off somebody else's status.
03:32:13
Speaker
the fifth
03:32:49
Speaker
Don't even go there subway does not have a Philly cheesesteak that shit From the flat they get the grease and they pool it
03:33:03
Speaker
because I'm a guy who was born and raised in Ohio.
03:33:15
Speaker
Any of my buddies would go on weekend trips and, and, and there ain't nothing, there's nothing good
Philadelphia Cheesesteaks and Humor
03:33:21
Speaker
in Philly. Your sports teams are trash. The people that live in Philly are shit. The only good thing about Philly is a Philly cheesesteaks. And we would take a weekend trip on our motorcycles. Come on. Just to get a Philly cheesesteak. You know what I mean?
03:33:36
Speaker
So, yeah. If I did, I'm not traveling across the fucking of the breath of Pennsylvania to fucking get a fucking sandwich. I've never had a Philly cheesesteak, but I have had a Subway cheesesteak. And I'm telling you, that shit is garbage. And like, I've even. Fucking Pennsylvania to get through Barrymore, but that's about it.
03:34:03
Speaker
That's the only really interesting thing to get my fiance. So, I mean, she was Amish up until five years ago, but that's neither here nor there because pretty much 99.9999% of Pennsylvania was Amish up until five years ago. But, you know, sports teams are shit.
03:34:28
Speaker
you know, but you know, no, we would we would drive to Philly. We would ride our bikes to Phillies on the weekend just to get a Philly cheesesteak. And I just threw Subway out there just just because. But and I got to be honest, as a guy, because you're a horrible fucking person. Yes. OK, go ahead. I am a horrible person. Yes, you are. And you should feel shame. Rob, nice to meet you. How you doing? I'm Glick and I'm a piece of shit. I Glick.
03:34:56
Speaker
That's everybody. Come on. We're all in this together. Hi. We're all in this together. I like Steven not getting robbed on his fucking podcast. Fucking 12 step program shit. Fucking 12 step program, man. That's your quitters. Now my stepson actually goes to college at Temple. You want to hear something funny? What's that?
03:35:23
Speaker
So I'm writing a fucking you ever seen Kentucky Fried movie? Yes. Yes. So I'm writing I'm writing some shit like that, right? This is horribly fucked up. You've ever seen Kentucky Fried movie? Oh, no, I haven't.
03:35:41
Speaker
oh you horrible bastard shame in the corner with the other motherfucker it's dark it's dark humor it's fucking think Mel Brooks blazing saddles super racist
03:36:07
Speaker
So, uh, what I'm working on, right? So I'm, I'm in the fucking VA hospital and I'm a fall risk. So if you know what that is, right? The first time you get off the, off the bed to go take a piss and the fucking alarm goes off, like you fucking stole something and you shit your, your asshole puckers, you know, you're going fucking with the fuck mode. Um,
03:36:31
Speaker
And then they come in and they're like, all right, they explain it to you. And they, oh, all right, cool. Can you shut the fuck off so I can piss instead of, you know, anyway. So I was stuck to a fucking bed, make a long story longer. And M.A.S.H. is playing in the background and I'm playing fucking cribbage on my phone. And on the show, you know, it's back of your head.
03:36:58
Speaker
I'm hearing there was a thief in the camp. Right. So the colonel gets everybody out of their tents and he's calling them out by their names. And he's like, Hawkeye, get out here. Radar, get out here. Spear chucker Jones, get out here. I'm like, I dropped my fucking phone. I'm like, what the fuck did I just hear? Because I ain't heard that slur since the fucking 80s. Right.
03:37:23
Speaker
but this is mash and lo and motherfucking behold for three seasons on mash there was a character named spear chucker jones and he is everything that you would imagine fucking exploded into
03:37:48
Speaker
Blaxploitation spear chucker Jones. I fucking got it boom locked in And what's funny? What's funny is in my little collect my phone collective We've got exactly one black dude. It's rural ass, Indiana. Fuck you and Like he I got I got an idea I
03:38:13
Speaker
What do you think about this and I hit him with it the backstory included and like within 30 seconds He's cackling and like within a minute. He was like Are you gonna write this? Yeah, I'm thinking about it But you know our acting pool is limited And fucking he was like I
03:38:38
Speaker
Can I play John? I was like, yes. And I'm a great actor. I am a great actor, please. But the best part of it, the best part of it, he loved the fucking the racist ass humor of it. But he's got a septum piercing. And I was like, T. And he's like, yes, absolutely.
03:39:03
Speaker
He's going to stick a fucking bone screw, whatever it is.
03:39:11
Speaker
Yeah because listen because he's a normal human being and because normal human beings just like they will read something and be like this is hilarious. It doesn't matter like the race. It doesn't like like this is just normal life. This is normal life. This is awesome. It's a good dude like funny is funny. You know what I mean at the end of the day. Yeah, seriously. And then there's no harm there.
03:39:37
Speaker
the the
03:39:55
Speaker
Then there's God poker. Oh, my my favorite, which apparently nobody else loves or appreciates, is fucking communist monopoly. You land on Mediterranean Ave or Boardwalk. It's fucking two bucks. You know what's funny about me? It is.
M.A.S.H., Stereotypes, and Humor
03:40:20
Speaker
It's amazing. I love it.
03:40:24
Speaker
I already is. Fuck. I love it. Hey, Brian. Fucking God poker is fine. I didn't do it. Mark. Mark. Mark's in pain. He's like it's it's almost going on for hours and I'm dying. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no
03:41:14
Speaker
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
03:41:22
Speaker
Oh, come on, Mark. Come on. In the spirit, in the spirit of the show, you've got to fucking do the jerk off motion. If he's going to do it right, he's got to do it this way, not this way. What did I do? You did a goofy. I'm so used to going to Brian. I'm so used to going to Brian. You did a goofy foot, man. When I message you, you message Brian. Yeah, whenever you're fucked up, now do it right. And Brian takes care of me.
03:41:51
Speaker
that's my fault. Brian does a really good job. I'll do it right. Taking care. Do it right. All right. Marry Annette him and make him jerk off. Hey, Mark, this is what happens when you get some cool ass vets on your show. Bravo, fellas. Bravo. Good job. Well, cats, I'm going to roll. Send me what you got.
03:42:18
Speaker
the the
03:42:54
Speaker
that's because I fired your ass for the night
03:43:02
Speaker
Oh, and thank you for your service. Who the fuck said that shit? I'm a fucking. Hold on, Brian. You're my motherfucker. I'm coming for you. Let me let me screen choose this fucking face right quick. I will say this. So what do we know about this guy? What do we know about?
03:43:33
Speaker
Yeah, I will say this, Rob, if you if you want to come up once a week, I will gladly create a spot for you on Saturday nights or Wednesday nights. But Saturday nights I will gladly create a spot for you to be a permanent member.
03:43:49
Speaker
of the show and I'm speaking from one of the shows I host but I'll gladly make you a permanent member on Saturday nights. I think you would be a perfect fit for Saturday nights for what we do. Brian, Mark and Blazin and if Connor was here, they would all attest that you would be a fantastic addition to Saturday nights. You like to talk shit. You like to have fun. You like to hang out.
03:44:15
Speaker
the the
03:44:38
Speaker
You know what I mean? You ain't even bought me a Big Mac. Motherfucker didn't even say, you know what, bitch? Super size it. Go ahead. Go ahead. Motherfucker. I'll get in touch with my guy, Brennan. We're going to get that green. I got two championship belts here. I'll put a fucking belt on it. Does that sound right? I'll put a goddamn championship belt on it, Rob Mello.
03:45:09
Speaker
the the the the
03:45:54
Speaker
the the the
03:46:00
Speaker
as a permanent member of the show
03:46:15
Speaker
I want to say no, seriously. Thank you guys so much for, for doing this with, with, with us, Mark and I, and I'm going to say Mark and I, sorry, Brian, your guests tonight. I do want to say thank you. Brian's been exposed for the fucking something that he is. Mark's going to message me tomorrow and be like, you know, do it. I can do it.
03:46:48
Speaker
Oh, I love Brian. Oh, you know, I don't want to fire him and he's like, don't worry. We'll put him on Sundays with Jeremy. Oh, here's here's the thing. Mark. Mark owns walking and I own the shit. So you guys have to figure it out from there. So we'll call it talking nonsensical on Thursday night. Connor, where are you? Let me know what's up. And, uh, guys, I love you.
03:47:03
Speaker
But we're still on Thursday nights.
03:47:19
Speaker
Thanks for having me. Good meeting you.
Men's Mental Health Podcast
03:47:24
Speaker
Hey, Rob, thank you for your service. Who said that shit? Who said that shit? You perfectly timed swine. Fuck your service, Rob. You're welcome. Hey, Glick, Glick, give the kiddos a smack on the ass out the door for me.
03:47:45
Speaker
the the
03:48:04
Speaker
So to the guys who joined tonight, man, if you see me in public you see me in a bar come up and say hi Let's chitchat and I'll buy you a beer. I'm not gonna say thank you for your service I've known for a long time that that's a slap in the face, but I'll buy you a beer And watch your chat, but no tonight was awesome. Thank you guys. I cannot wait to
03:48:29
Speaker
work my magic and uh get inside the minds of a veteran uh as as blazing says as blazing says and I gotta get my man credit. Bring your tissues for your issues because we're gonna be pissing from our eyeballs Monday night. Yes. Yes. I got one thing to say before I check out. So, Connor, I got a message from Peter and he wants to apologize for everybody calling you a
03:49:00
Speaker
because you're a dicky don't so I just want to stay. I knew that wasn't going anywhere productive. From the moment you said my name, I was like, ah, sweet. Here we go. It wasn't. He's like, it wasn't. He's like, it wasn't. Yeah, that's me.
03:49:25
Speaker
Mark, Mark, you knew this was going to go. You knew how the show was going to go, man. Oh, I know. Oh, I know. I told you. I know. I I told you when we started that this was it was going to be hard for people to talk and you heard it. And I seen that from the first one that we did when we said they're back. Don't ask questions. Just sit back. And this wasn't nobody had any hard times talking tonight. I don't know. It was a good time.
03:49:54
Speaker
I've always had. I think we, yeah, we kind of shuffled around a little bit. I think it was good. We try to take our turns with you. Does anyone need any green? Does anyone need any green? I'm asking. Just curious. Hey, I'm going to call my friend. I'll check my inbox. Got it. I'll check my inbox.
03:50:31
Speaker
What's your hat? Fuck. Yeah, I didn't see my shirt. I don't have my welding goggles on. It's so distracting. Yeah, we saw a Patreon for a fucking wig for Brian. Dude, that's what I donate my hair every two years for fucking kids. I've already got a new shave it off. I'll wear it.
03:50:50
Speaker
Oh, dude. I'm the next time I'm not even listen. I'll wear it. No joke. Every two years, I donated to children with hair loss. I'm going to I'm going to donate it to you. I'm going to do it. Oh, click. That's just embarrassing. I don't even do it that much. Yeah. Brian, you see that? You see that? Oh, yeah. It looks got some hair for you. You see that? If I shave it off, you'll wear it.
03:51:22
Speaker
the the the
03:51:57
Speaker
the the the
03:51:59
Speaker
Brian, second rule, Brian gets breast implants at least a minimum. We had to compromise. I'm a boob guy. I like big boobs. But we had to compromise on double Ds. And the last rule was he had to get a hair implant. And he had to be a long-edged redhead. So, you know, one of three. I mean, Brian, are you really going to hurt your brain?
03:52:27
Speaker
not fulfill your contract contractual duties and it hurts your friend by not compressing plants and not. How could he not the pay is so good? Yeah. Wait, hold up. Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. What? We're getting paid for this? Yeah, Brian gets this lick dick. That's his payment. Yeah. Oh.
03:53:06
Speaker
I get my protein shake and don't have to do any of the work.
03:53:31
Speaker
Like you've got to come up on a Saturday night, it's it's it's total anarchy And I think that's I think that's what you guys
03:53:42
Speaker
you know, Mark and Brian, you guys wanted the good conversation. Excuse me. You guys wanted the good conversation. You guys wanted the **** anarchy and you guys got it. I mean, you guys, yeah, you guys brought me up here. Wait, wait, wait. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. We teamed up with you guys because we knew that we
03:54:11
Speaker
you understand that, right? You guys teamed up with you. You guys teamed up with us. We teamed up with you and the network. Who are we saying? So network you. You teamed up with me because I. You did my network. It's my network. And I'm the studio.
03:55:02
Speaker
This is this right here tonight. I met Brendan. I met Brendan. If we tell Jarvis, Jarvishy, if you will, you take Saturday nights off and we replace Jarvishy with Rob Melo and Brendan. Oh, it's a two for one. Wow.
03:55:05
Speaker
you as a permanent member on a Saturday night
03:55:27
Speaker
the the
03:55:53
Speaker
Well, I'm out. I'm out. My life is ruined. I cannot live. I cannot live.
03:56:14
Speaker
It makes me feel so much better about myself. I love Steven. He's a great guy. It's Saturday nights. It's the only night. I fucking love Steven. He takes all the shit we don't like. He takes a lot of shit. He takes a lot of shit. You know what? He's starting to give it back and he's getting he's getting it. He's got better jokes than Brian.
03:56:43
Speaker
He died. I had jokes. My delivery is just terrible. I feel like that's your jokes. It's the joke. The joke is the root of jokes. They're terrible. Jokes are terrible. Brian's like, wait a minute. This whole time I was feeling like still halfway decent about myself. Fuck, is it really that bad? Yeah, it's that bad. It's that bad.
03:57:09
Speaker
Yeah. I thought the delivery was way off. You make my jokes golden. I love it. You were the only funny one. I'm just me. I'm not funny. No, that night you were the only one out of them that was actually funny. I took my time in action.
03:57:34
Speaker
the the the the
03:58:00
Speaker
Uh, what was it? Was it last week, boys? When, when, when I sent Jeff the pictures of me with my bleach blonde hair and my blue hair, like, like, I, like, I'm like, I'm serving shit up on a, on a platter for you guys. I, you know, when I was fat and disgusting, like I, well, I'm fat and disgusting now. The only difference is I have a, an epic beard as Rob mellow said, don't, by the way, I didn't, I didn't Rob mellow
Roast Preparation and Family Moments
03:58:28
Speaker
kept
03:58:28
Speaker
praising my epic beard, by the way, all night tonight. Thank you. He was crushing on it hard. He was crushing on it. He was crushing on the beard pretty hard.
03:58:38
Speaker
Uh, uh, um, but, uh, I, I put a picture of me when I was fat and gross and disgusting. And I had a mustache and I looked like a fucking, uh, wish version of John Candy. And he put that on the, and he put that up. I'm like, I'm giving you guys gold to really, and I was like, man, this roast is going to be great. I was excited for it. I was like, these guys are really going to bring it. These guys are going to fucking.
03:59:07
Speaker
bury me. And then it was just like, wah, wah, wah. I felt, dude, I felt, I was the only one that was ordered prepared. It was fucking awkward, dude. He was like, okay, well, Connor, you got hurt. Yeah, I was like, I don't want to see anything. I was like, dude, I want you to see it. I, you know, come with some, come with some hits, take jabs at everybody on the show, take jabs at me. You know what I mean? And he was like,
03:59:35
Speaker
the the
04:00:05
Speaker
the the
04:00:26
Speaker
like we already roasted Glick to do him again. No offense would be like, yeah, you can't do it. No, no, you can't do it. Oh, it would have to be Jeff. Yeah. Easy. Oh, no. Steven's too easy. We roast him every night. Yeah. Yeah. That's not just fair. That would be like roasting me. There's just going to be a whole bunch of cripple jokes. It's not. I got to get Jeff credit. Hold on a second. Let me rephrase that.
04:00:57
Speaker
the other
04:01:12
Speaker
in meme form and I'm like, dude, if you would have just like actually done. He didn't. I was like, I was. Fucking pictures up because, yeah, we're live, but we also put this on. Jeff should have been the emcee. I don't know. 11 o'clock. I still have an accident. If we roast, if we roast chef,
04:01:41
Speaker
I hate to say it. If we roast, I've known the cat for almost 30 years. If we roast Jeff, I'm I'm I'm I'm
04:01:51
Speaker
the the
04:02:13
Speaker
Like I was like I was ready for everybody to just drop shit on me and it was just like mark mark mark Non-bias opinion mark who was in the chat. Am I wrong? Like I was expecting full-on Total to be shit on and and these guys just they call now they yeah, they all just
04:02:34
Speaker
I had jokes, but it was just, it was the timing was bad because everybody else was bad. I wrote good.
04:02:57
Speaker
And I was like, maybe I should just read the sheet. And then they were like, yeah, just read the sheet. It was funny. And people were like, oh, OK, now I understand what the fuck is going on. But everyone's like, they watched the Tom Brady roast. And they're like, oh my god, it was so bad. And I'm like, no, that's what roasts are. That was a fucking awesome roast. That was a good roast. There was a few bad
04:03:24
Speaker
the the
04:03:37
Speaker
I liked it. I thought it was one of the best ones I've seen. It was really funny. And the idea that there's an article afterwards where they were saying like, oh, Brady's kids were scarred for life or whatever. I was like, who the fuck lets our kids watch this bullshit? This is really bad. You should not let your kids watch this. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I said. We got to have we got to have a. We got to have a Tom Brady roast.
04:04:08
Speaker
we just got to pick who's Tom Brady. Hey, all you got to do is, you know, talk to Glick and have Glick, you know, talk to Tom Brady. There you go. You watch your fucking whore mouth about Tom Brady.
04:04:27
Speaker
Hey, I want to talk whatever I want about Tom Brady. That's what Glick would do if he was God for a day. He would suck Tom Brady's dick. That's exactly what I would. No, I would not. I would not suck Tom Brady's dick if I was God for a day. I would make him a power. And he would suck his dick. Glick would suck Tom Brady's dick. Tom Brady is the most amazing power bottom of all time. Glick would suck Tom Brady's dick with Steven's mouth.
04:05:16
Speaker
You guys definitely got off really To be fair
04:05:24
Speaker
Tonight, tonight is like, to be fair, tonight felt like I was back on the bomb pad, building bombs, we're all sitting around just jocking each other's shit. It felt like it was like a smoke pit. It was a good time. I had a great time. And Mark, this is what you wanted tonight, right?
04:05:47
Speaker
and that's what I got. I'm too. That's what I got. We have done that. Like we have some deep conversations. I'm still the faves champion. So, **** bring it **** Yeah, right. Like like we have deep conversations. You're still bald as **** but at the same time, don't care. You know what? I'm surprised there was there was really no mama jokes tonight but you know. Yeah, I was I was surprised but no, I didn't know Mark and I talked and and Mark said, you know,
04:06:26
Speaker
the the the
04:06:38
Speaker
the the the the
04:07:25
Speaker
the the the
04:07:36
Speaker
Everything you have for Monday is canceled. I just got the
04:07:44
Speaker
No, no. Monday, Monday, I'm I'm going to break you fuckers down. I'm going to we're going to we're going to get we're going to get heavy. We're going to we're going to have the conversation and and and and you know, Brian watch and Brian's Brian has been on the show and actually Brian is on the show on Monday and he's Mark and these Mark and Brian have been friends for a very long time. When we had those guys on the show and we were talking,
04:08:12
Speaker
Brian surprised Mark because he opened up quite a bit. You really did, bro. Uh Connor opens up every Monday night. Blazin's been on the show and he's opened up. That's how I have. I have a superpower and I'm gonna and I'm gonna break you **** down and I'm not out of my own enjoyment by no means but but it's I'm gonna break you **** down. It sounds like you gotta ****
04:08:51
Speaker
I feel like I feel like he's kind of like blowing in my ear a little bit he's rubbing my shoulders
04:09:00
Speaker
It's okay. I don't really. It's okay. It's okay. From your shoulder to the back of your head. Yes, he knows. He knows. The best thing you've ever seen would have happened. I'm going to break his camera. Let's see. He knows I got a semi. I'm ready. He's not. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay.
04:09:28
Speaker
And then we're going to be like, we're going to tell him something. He's going to be like, Holy fuck. I think, I think pulling that armor down, you know, that, that tough guy exterior that every military person has, and it doesn't matter what your job was or what you did in the military or anything like that.
04:09:46
Speaker
But when you when you break it down, you really start to dive into the conversation. Hold on. Wait a minute. Brendan, you know, he's he didn't really deal with the exception of Brendan. I have a new plug. Brennan like came through. But it's like I have PTSD every time I see a boat.
04:10:28
Speaker
the the the
04:10:43
Speaker
I just really want the IRS to know if they're listening. I did not deal any weed. I don't owe you any other back taxes. It was not a legitimate business if it was happening.
04:11:06
Speaker
the the the the
04:11:21
Speaker
the the the
04:11:44
Speaker
But I love Sasquatch what I'm sorry. Sorry go This balls aren't hairy they're furry that's the difference Look great thing about us Sasquatch Ian's is doing one in two in the other Drunken lovers were drunken lovers I'm just saying Once you go Sasquatch
04:12:10
Speaker
nothing really rhymes with sasquatch but once you go sasquatch you'll be dead you'll be ripped in half nothing else you have to worry about after that
04:12:37
Speaker
Once you go, you'll lose. You're watching this. Have you seen the movie, Tomahawk? Imagine that. Yeah, but. I mean, Mark, Mark looks like he's plotting every one of your burgers.
04:13:19
Speaker
Last night talking shit is ever on now, this is cool now
04:13:27
Speaker
No, I just, I just cannot wait until the message tomorrow for Mark because you know, I, I talked to all, I talked to all you guys, you know, Mark and Brian and maybe Connor and Jeff and, and, and Steven. And I talked to Blason, you know, Blason's basically breached the point of full-fledged member thing. He's family. I think he's our guy.
04:13:52
Speaker
You know, but I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get I'm gonna wake up to a message tomorrow afternoon And it's gonna be bark one fuck you click and fuck your fucking network You piece of shit That might happen It is like I challenge you to a 1v1 on call of duty For the rights to the show
04:14:22
Speaker
I feel like, I feel like Mark might win that. Ooh, kind of ish. It's not going to win me. It's not going to be me. We're fighting about, I don't know. That's where, that's where the military podcast went, fighting about cod. Really?
04:14:47
Speaker
The military podcast turns into who have who has control of the network and it's decided by a 1v1 on call of duty I'm trying come on. I ain't they won't shut the fuck up
04:15:33
Speaker
his mom is like it's your bedside motherfucker
04:15:39
Speaker
It's my show so I can't leave until you shut the fuck
04:16:00
Speaker
We have another half of talking shit still in here. He's got to go to bed, too, because he's got to get up and work in the morning. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. I know what you guys are trying to do. I got it. Ladies and gentlemen. Talking shit.
04:16:20
Speaker
We are a part of a network called the Nonsensical Network and we have shows for everyone. Monday night we have Men Can for Men. There you go. There's a Men's Mental Health podcast where we talk everything about men's mental health, the struggles, the difficulties, and what it's like to be a man.
04:16:44
Speaker
I guess who's going to be on the show on Monday? Everybody's here tonight. Everybody's here tonight. Brian, Mark, Mark. Oh, Mark gets to live in my room on Monday night. That's right. It's your show. Just not this one. Yeah, not this one. Mark will be there Monday night. Tuesday night we have Jeff's garage. He talks about anything that will fit in a garage.
04:17:18
Speaker
Wednesday night is what the **** news, baby. It's in the news. It's in the news and it makes you go what the **** We're going to talk about it. That's news with an end. Okay. Thank god because I thought it was news with a J and then there's Thursday night.
04:17:44
Speaker
wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Calm down, nonsensical Biden Hitler. All right. Thursday night. That's a little show called, uh, if you get a chance to check it out, head over there and check it out. And then we have Friday. However, Thursday nights, it's a little, it's a little podcast. It's really not that good. However, the host,
04:18:11
Speaker
the host the host mark and Brian I don't know if they'll hear this or not but those two sexy sons of bitches right there at the end of the day they could get it I'm just saying mark and Brian there's some sexy so they're like they're almost glitched here they're like they're like on the sexiness but those are some sexy sons of bitches Mark's growing his beard out just so you know and then uh Friday night is Glick's house of music
04:18:41
Speaker
the fifth
04:18:57
Speaker
Eight o'clock. That's the plan. Check out Blick's House of Music. He's getting more musical host, musical guest host. But he will talk about some bands, some music, some... It doesn't matter if you like country, rock, rap. It doesn't matter. Go over there and check him out. He's on the... That's that guy right there in the middle.
04:19:22
Speaker
You'll see his face. He'd be like, not the one at the bottom. It's the one at the top. Right up there. Uh, what do you got on a Saturday for us guys? Saturday is nonsensical nonsense. It is the unhinged, unapologetic, no boundaries. We say and do what we want. And we also open the door. We drop an open door challenge. We put the link in the, in the chatters box and we encourage everybody and everybody to come in and hang out with us.
04:19:50
Speaker
the the the
04:20:14
Speaker
But Connor will swallow it. And on Sunday, on Sundays plays him. What's what's playing on Sundays? Sunday nights is, uh, uh, uh, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared
04:20:42
Speaker
That is like nine and a half
04:21:13
Speaker
I don't think you know how hard I rock my mom. Oh, wait. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
04:21:37
Speaker
I don't know, but even though he wasn't here, we still ended up shitting on him. So it doesn't matter. I think Alyssa had him tied up, bonded, gagged and was whipping his ass in the cage. So that's a Tuesday. We have learned, we have learned over time that it's not Alyssa that is tied to the radiator. It is Steven that is locked in the cage. Yep.
04:22:13
Speaker
You are more than welcome to show up anytime, any place on the network. We're like I said, we got, we got shows Monday through, uh, Saturday is that open door challenge. So I would, yeah.
04:22:35
Speaker
the the the
04:23:00
Speaker
Holy crap. Sorry. What the hell? So by all means jump. I'm my podcast is dad's worldwide. Please by all means check it out. And I mean, if you want to be a better parent,
04:23:18
Speaker
you should probably listen to a different podcast. But I mean, if you'd like to just laugh and have a good time, then yeah, we're kind of for you. I was just going to ask, how do I follow you if I'm already following you?
04:23:33
Speaker
Oh, if you're already following me, well, I mean, you could go to Instagram, the twit. You could come give me a hug. You know, from behind, from behind. Brendan, you should really close your blinds at night.
04:24:12
Speaker
the the the the
04:24:23
Speaker
the the the
04:24:44
Speaker
Yeah, sorry. He's really, he's really stressing about this. I feel like he's thinking about it. He's no, no, I just, I just reached him in milestone as a dad. Oh man. That's do you catch him? My youngest, my youngest, my baby.
04:25:13
Speaker
He's now too big for me to pick up and carry to his bed. You know, I, I got, I got up, I got to think of this and I realized that he fell asleep in my bed and I was like, I'm just going to scoop him up.
04:25:29
Speaker
the fifth
04:25:49
Speaker
the the
04:26:12
Speaker
You know, that's what they say. You know, the last time that you hug or kiss or hold or, you know, like it could be the last time, right? Like it could be that last time. So you got to cherish absolutely every moment. Even if they're crying, if they're screaming their heads off, like you have to cherish at every moment. So it's true. I'm a big time dad, obviously. I love my kids. I've done everything. Everything I've done has been for my kids. I mean,
04:26:43
Speaker
of a job making six figures, left a beautiful home on the east coast, and came back to this God forsaken state called Ohio. I'm sorry, they probably don't deserve that, honestly.
04:27:03
Speaker
I came back to Ohio and I started all over again. I was when I was 18 years old when I, when I, when I got a new, uh, I got a new guest for you for your dad's worldwide show. Um, his name is Glick and, uh, he's going to tell you about that one time that he left the East coast. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what is it as a, as a dad. He sounds depressing.
04:27:29
Speaker
No, it's not depressing. I'm teasing. I'm teasing. It's real life, man. It is. Hell, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm teasing, bro. Yeah, my kids mean the world to me. And I would give up everything for them. And I literally did. So I mean, I started all over again. And I started from scratch to come back to it. It is what it is. It can be depressing. And you can make fun of me for it. At the end of the day,
04:27:59
Speaker
I have focused on my kids. I've had it for two years. And Elizabeth. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm with you. I started with I started from scratch several times. Like I've left several careers just because it was like that. Fuck this. Doesn't make me happy. I'm done. I love you guys. I love you guys. I need to check out. So my last. Well, well. Ask that Connor fucking swallow.
04:28:29
Speaker
only once though I'm ending this so yeah I know you hit the button you gotta hit the button mark