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Let's Get Real. Raw. Authentic.- It's Been a Wild Ride
7 Plays1 year ago
Hi there! I’m Pam, the heart and soul behind MBS (My Best Self) Fit Co, and your fellow journeyer on the path to discovering our best selves.
Where do I start? I’m a whirlwind of roles – a proud wife, mom to three incredible girls, bonus mom to three more, and a "MiMi" (because "grandma" just doesn’t suit me yet!) to the most adorable little girl. Professionally, I’ve navigated the banking and mortgage world for over 15 years, but my true calling? Health and fitness, which I've passionately advocated for the last seven years.
My story took a turn when I found myself as a young mom at 15 and a wife at 18. Fast forward through an 11-year marriage, and in 2016, I faced my world crumbling. Lost and adrift, I was more than an ex-wife and working mom – I just didn’t know it yet.
The next seven years were a rollercoaster. From battling depression and anxiety, drowning in debt, and grappling with body insecurities to making bold career moves, getting in the best shape of my life, and embracing the role of a fitness coach. I delved deep, uncovering the woman I am, recognizing my self-worth, falling in love again, and soaring in my career. Oh, and did I mention moving homes four times, paying off heaps of debt, and embracing the joy of becoming a MiMi?
My journey from rock bottom to thriving wasn’t a leap but a climb – one filled with fitness passion, personal growth, spiritual healing, and lots of self-reflection through counseling, books, podcasts, and holistic wellness. I grew in my faith, as a partner and a mom, learning to cherish myself, respect my boundaries, and reclaim my confidence. But the real lesson? Behind every Superwoman’s cape, there's a woman who needs love and care. I vowed never to lose sight of myself again.
What brings me joy? Empowering women to shatter their limiting beliefs, to see their innate strength, and to become their own heroes. My dream is to unite women globally, encouraging them to embrace fitness, personal growth, and self-care. Every woman is a superwoman in her own right, but let’s not forget the incredible person beneath that cape – she deserves love and care too.
I’m here to be your confidant, your cheerleader, your motivator. It's time to reclaim your power, unearth the hero within, and step into a life brimming with success, fulfillment, and abundance.
Remember
YOU ARE STRONG.
YOU ARE CONFIDENT.
YOU ARE WORTHY.
I love you, I’m here for you, and I’m endlessly rooting for you. Let’s embark on this beautiful journey together.
🌟💪❤️
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Transcript
Year of Personal and Spiritual Growth
00:00:00
Speaker
It's amazing how much can change in a year and how much progress someone can make in a year. And I will tell you for the last two and a half years or so, when I went down my path of personal development and spiritual development,
00:00:20
Speaker
reading and journaling, meditating, listening to podcasts, doing anything and everything I could to change my mindset, to be a better mom, a better wife, a better person, a better daughter, friend, sister, all of that. I know that this year was a turning point for me.
Introduction to Empowerment Podcast
00:00:45
Speaker
Welcome to Finding My Best Self, the podcast that celebrates the extraordinary in every woman. Each week, your host Pam Rivette will share practical how-to advice, empowering you with strategies and insights to navigate life's complexities. We'll welcome inspiring guests, women who have defied the odds, transformed obstacles into opportunities,
00:01:04
Speaker
and are redefining what success truly means. From navigating personal and professional challenges to celebrating triumphs in fitness, self-care, and beyond, we explore it all. Whether you're seeking motivation or a spark of inspiration, this is your sanctuary for empowerment. Authentic conversations.
00:01:20
Speaker
and a whole lot of real talk. So lace up your sneakers, grab that cup of coffee, and let's embark on this journey together, exploring the lives of women who are making it happen, sharing both the struggles and the victories. Welcome to Finding My Best Self, where every episode is a step towards becoming the hero of your own story.
Pam's Early Life and Challenges
00:01:39
Speaker
Hi there, and welcome to Finding My Best Self podcast. This is the first official episode
00:01:49
Speaker
And I figured I would do a little introduction so y'all can get to know me and what led to me beginning on the journey of starting MBS Fit Company, which ultimately led to the birth of this podcast that you're listening to. So instead of going
00:02:15
Speaker
Backwards start starting with now and going backwards of my life I figured I'd start from the beginning and just give you guys a quick run through of all of the things that I have Personally been through that led me to this point in my life So I'll start with my childhood. I was raised in a divorce household and
00:02:38
Speaker
And I had three brothers in my mom's house and two sisters and two stepbrothers at my dad's house.
Young Motherhood and Life Decisions
00:02:46
Speaker
And I didn't really have anything crazy that happened in my childhood, except the fact that I was a bit of a wild child, I guess.
00:03:01
Speaker
And I think that was mostly just because I helped my mom out a lot with my younger brothers because she was a single mom and she worked two jobs. So and I was also hanging out with the wrong crowd at that time and just doing a lot of things that no young child pre-teen should be doing. And so I found myself pregnant at only 15 years old.
00:03:25
Speaker
And still to this day, I tell everyone and my daughter knows that she saved my life. Honestly, that was the biggest, the first, I should say, biggest pivotal moment of my life. When as a 15 year old child, I was left with needing to make a really big decision and choice in my life and which way and which path I was going to continue down.
00:03:53
Speaker
And so I know that had I not gotten pregnant for her, I may not be here today. And what I mean by she saved my life is that based on the path that I was heading down at that time, I can honestly say that I don't know that I would even be here today had I continued down that path.
Marriage Struggles and Mental Health
00:04:21
Speaker
So thankfully,
00:04:23
Speaker
things worked out and I chose the better path and continued to be a good mom to my little girl and took care of her. And it was so funny because everyone in school remembered that I was the girl who always had the baby. Even for our high school orientation, everyone still talks about that, about how I showed up at orientation with my little baby in my hands going into 10th grade.
00:04:51
Speaker
And so I was present and I was there for her and she grew up with me. She grew with me through all of the things that I've gone through in my life. So I'm very grateful that God gave me her because that was my first turning point in my life. A few years later, I then found myself married at 18.
00:05:16
Speaker
Secretively because I went off and got married without telling a lot of or I say a lot of anyone and Probably upset a lot of people But I did and then I moved the day after high school I packed up the u-haul and took me and my little girl and We moved to North Carolina because he was in the military at that time my ex-husband and We were there for about a year and a half and during that time I
00:05:47
Speaker
I learned a lot as an 18 year old girl who had never left home before and went to a place by myself because he was still deployed at that point. So I knew no one. And I had to just learn to be alone in a different place. And that was very scary. But I also learned for the first time in my life,
00:06:13
Speaker
the meaning of when friends become family because the people that I did meet and the friends that I did meet there were everything to me because I had no one. And so about a year into us being there, I found myself pregnant with my second child. And then when we came back,
00:06:37
Speaker
right after it was about two months after I had her, he was discharged from the military and we came home and we had to move in with my mom because we had nowhere to go at the time. And we, the four of us were in one bedroom and under one roof with my mom and my three brothers. So we were a household of eight and things were crazy. It was chaotic. It was stressful for everyone.
00:07:01
Speaker
And so when we both, you know, we immediately found jobs within the first two months of being there. And then a couple months after that, we actually purchased our first home together. But that was a time in my life when I was suffering from severe postpartum depression. And I didn't really know or understand what was going on because it was the first time I had ever experienced anything like that.
00:07:28
Speaker
And it wasn't until I started that job and I had to drive every day to go to training. So I had about a 45 minute drive to and from every day. And that's when the severe panic attacks set in. So much so to the point where there were several days when I almost drove myself to the hospital because I thought I was going to die. And that's when I went to someone and for the first time got put on
00:07:56
Speaker
antidepressants and I was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression and anxiety, panic attacks and all of that. And that medicine helped. It helped to ease the thoughts that were going through my mind. And, but it didn't, it made me a zombie. And I know some people may be able to relate.
00:08:26
Speaker
So over the course of many years, all the way leading up to when I had my third child, I was put on several different medications, trying to find something that worked for me and didn't make me feel that way. And I never found it. Eventually I did get off of them during the time of my marriage. We were together for 10 years and we had a very rocky marriage.
00:08:54
Speaker
And I think it was mostly just because we got married so young, we just jumped into it. We weren't together, but barely two months when we even got married. And I think we just grew and changed and grew apart. But during that time,
00:09:12
Speaker
you know, I just wanted to do anything and everything I could to change things, to make things better. So whether it was, you know, you change jobs, no, I'm going to change jobs, or, you know, maybe we need to buy, purchase another house or build a new house. And at the very end of my marriage, I was like, maybe we need to have a baby. And I should also mention too, that we also did several rounds of counseling and things like that to also try and help.
00:09:40
Speaker
And so I got pregnant again. And when she was nine months old is when I finally made the decision to call the divorce. And that was yet again, another huge life lesson for me, another huge learning experience, scary time.
00:10:09
Speaker
all of that because at that time we were drowning in debt and I knew that it was going to mean that I was going to be on my own and have to take on
00:10:25
Speaker
all of that by myself.
Decision to Divorce and Co-Parenting
00:10:27
Speaker
So one thing that I did and I was very adamant about when my ex-husband and I separated was that after growing up in a divorce household where I only saw my dad every other weekend, I had a conversation with myself before telling him that I wanted a divorce, a very hard conversation with myself that
00:10:55
Speaker
I didn't want that for my kids. And that was really hard because as a mom, if you're a mom, I know that you can relate and understand that leaving your kids for any period of time, much less a nine month old was a really tough decision for me, but I knew it was the right one because there was no reason that my children shouldn't see their dad because he's a great dad. We just weren't good together.
00:11:25
Speaker
So we did that. We had split custody. We instilled to this day. And we have a great co-parenting relationship. I'm very grateful that we do. And I am remarried and so is he. And we all work together to make sure that we are all present for our children together when we need to be. So whether it's
00:11:50
Speaker
you know, birthday parties sometimes or baby showers or all of their school events. When we need to be there together, we are and everyone gets along and it's good.
Post-Divorce Life and Alcoholism
00:12:02
Speaker
So after that, I went after my divorce, I went through a period of five years, I think it was from two
00:12:13
Speaker
2016 until I met my now husband in 2020, so about four years, where I think I just had, because again, I was very young when I got pregnant and I was very young when I got married, so I never had those
00:12:31
Speaker
teenage or late teen and early 20 years where most people go through the partying and hanging out with your friends and drinking and doing all of that. I never did any of that, not even when I was a mom in high school.
00:12:48
Speaker
didn't do that. I just worked and I went home and took care of her. I didn't go to parties or hang out with anyone. If any, if I did anything, it was just going to sleep over at a friend's house and she came with me. I never left her. She was always by my side. So I went through about a four year period where a lot changed for me. The first thing I did when I, when we split up was that I took a really deep dive and looking at myself, figuring out what was going on with me.
00:13:18
Speaker
because I knew that I wasn't okay, personally. And then I also knew that there was a lot that I needed to change in myself for when I would get in another relationship. So I looked at all of the things that I did wrong or the things that I could have done better in my marriage, my previous marriage, and I did work on those things. And I was doing really well a lot better mentally.
00:13:45
Speaker
as far as how I felt about myself and where I was going with my life and the goals that I wanted. At some point in those four years, I also made a pretty big career jump, not career, cause I am a mortgage advisor full time. So I just changed the company that I was working for, but it was a really big leap for me going from a bank tip and the broker world. But at the same time as I was doing well,
00:14:15
Speaker
and getting my life together in a financial aspect and trying to change my mindset around my future and what I wanted for my future and my future relationships. I also spiraled. And again, going back to what I was saying that I think that was just because I never had the party life. And so at that time, that's what happened is that I was partying a lot and I was drinking a lot.
00:14:45
Speaker
And over the course of those four years, what was initially just, you know, a lot of drinking and having fun with friends turned into alcoholism. It really did. And so much so that as it continued on,
00:15:09
Speaker
In the second two years of my divorce, as well as probably the first full year or so of my current relationship, marriage, or before we were married is what I'm saying, the alcoholism took to another level where it led to blackouts, where I would not remember anything that happened from maybe the first drink or two.
00:15:38
Speaker
And then I black out and that was scary, but it didn't stop me. And it kept on to the point where it turned to rage. And when I would drink, I would rage and blackout. There was a point that it got so bad that it happened in front of my kids that day, looking back.
00:16:09
Speaker
I'm getting emotional because I've never spoke these words out loud. You know, when you have those thoughts in your head and you deal with them on your own in your head, but you never say them out loud. And when you do, it like hits all over again. That day was my most shameful moment as a mom. That was the day I knew I had to make a change. And that is when
00:16:39
Speaker
I cut back on drinking a lot. And even though it did take a little bit of time for me to, I cut back on drinking a lot, but I would still have moments where I would drink a little too much, not to the point where I would rage, but it was still too much. And for the last year is when my life has taken the biggest turn.
00:17:09
Speaker
At the beginning of this year, one of the things, let me start with saying one of the things that I do that I've done is to journal.
Self-Realization and Fitness Journey
00:17:20
Speaker
And at the beginning of this year, I was journaling and I was not in a good place. The letter that I wrote to myself at the beginning of the year that I do at the beginning of every year, I write a letter to myself and first person talking to myself.
00:17:38
Speaker
about what I thought about my mindset and where I was at in my life and what I saw from my future and where I wanted to go. And it was not, I was not in a good mindset. It's amazing how much can change in a year and how much progress someone can make in a year. And I will tell you for the last
00:18:02
Speaker
two and a half years or so when I went down my path of personal development and spiritual development, reading and journaling, meditating, listening to podcasts, doing anything and everything I could to change my mindset, to be a better mom, a better wife, a better person, a better daughter, friend, sister, all of that. I,
00:18:31
Speaker
know that this year was a turning point for me with all of that. It just took some time after getting my mindset right. It took some time to really hone in on my goals. I've been in the fitness industry or I should say I've been a fitness advocate ever since I had my last little girl.
00:18:59
Speaker
because prior to getting pregnant for her, I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life and I was super depressed. And at that time I told myself that I was going to lose the weight after I had her and that I was going to keep it off. So I worked really hard and lost all of the weight and got very in touch with my nutrition. And I've carried that with me for the last eight years and continuing to do all of those things. And so I knew
00:19:29
Speaker
that I wanted to do something, something in the fitness world. I just didn't know what, and it was very, very heavy on my heart since the beginning of this year. So I went through many different points where at one point I thought I wanted to do some sort of affiliate marketing with fitness companies. And I started in a program for that and a couple of weeks into it, I was like, yeah, this isn't for me.
00:19:53
Speaker
And then at some point I thought maybe I wanted to jump back into the coaching world. Uh, cause at one point I wasn't a coach, a fitness coach. And so I started that and within a couple of weeks I was like, no, this isn't it. This isn't what I want to do at the very beginning of this year, the very, very beginning when I wrote with a letter to myself, I thought I wanted to start an Airbnb company and realize that that wasn't.
Rock Bottom and Inspiring Visions
00:20:17
Speaker
what I was ready for yet either. And in June of this year, my husband and I moved again. And I say again, because we have moved four times in the four years that we have been married. Hopefully we will stay put this time. But we moved again. And that following month in July, I hit rock bottom again. And I don't know what triggered that.
00:20:44
Speaker
Maybe I do know a little bit. I think it was just cause I was on such a high of the rush of going and going and moving and the excitement. And then when things settled down, I just, I don't know, I got super depressed. And I think it was because I was halfway through the year and I knew I hadn't done anything yet. I hadn't gone forward on any goals that I had set or that I wanted. And so I did what I do and I prayed.
00:21:14
Speaker
I asked God very specifically to give me a sign. I believe very heavily in the power of God in the universe. And I did a lot of journaling. I did a lot of praying, asking
00:21:32
Speaker
for a sign asking God to tell me what the calling was that was on my heart that I couldn't quite put my finger on. That I knew that there was something there. It's been tugging on my heart all year. Please God, give me a sign and lead me to the right direction. And in just a few weeks later, I was on my way home from school. I mean on my way home from dropping off my girls at school.
00:22:01
Speaker
And it all came to me, not just as a thought, but very, very vividly. I had very clear, very vivid, very real visions of my future, the future of MBS Fit Company. I saw it all happen before my eyes, which is kind of scary because I was driving. Thankfully I was on a,
00:22:29
Speaker
road that doesn't have a lot of traffic behind my house because it wasn't like an out of body experience. And I called my friend in tears and she's like, what's wrong? Why are you crying? And I'm like, no, these are happy tears. And she's like, well, what? And I told her, I said, you know how I told you that I've been wanting to do something and I just didn't know what. And I was like, it all just came to me. And she said, whatever it is, she said, you go home and you write it down now.
00:23:00
Speaker
And so I did. I came home and everything that I saw, all of the visions and the ideas, I wrote them all down. And then I just sat with it because I have always been a person that when I think of something that I want to do, I don't give any time to really think about it. I just jump. And then I end up deciding that I don't want to do it later. And this, I guess because it felt so real,
00:23:31
Speaker
Kind of, not kind of, it scared me because I was like, you know, that's when all those limiting beliefs crept in. Like, who do you think you are? You can't do that. You're not capable. You're not worthy.
00:23:49
Speaker
So I just sat with it and for two weeks, every single day, the visions kept coming, the ideas, the thoughts, it, I couldn't get it off my mind. And it was at that point that I, I told myself, it's time to have a conversation with your husband and tell him what you want to do. Cause I, I want to go for it. So I did. And he was very,
00:24:16
Speaker
supportive. I told him, I was like, I know I'm going to sound crazy. I need you to just listen to what happened, what's on my mind and just what I want to do. And I just need you to hear me out. And he was like, Pam, if that's what you want to do, you know, I'll always be here for you and I will support you and encourage you and do anything you need for me to do. He's like, go for it. So I did.
00:24:40
Speaker
I do what I do is that I dove in really fast, really deep and just went for it. And so
00:24:52
Speaker
I'm here. I have started, I am the founder of MBS Fit Company, and I am starting first with a line of activewear, which will eventually be a whole line of fitness products that are focused on women, especially moms. My entire mission behind MBS Fit Company, which stands for my best self fit company,
00:25:22
Speaker
is to give moms and women the tools that they need to take care of themselves physically. Because I, as an advocate for fitness, feel that that's where it starts.
Launch of MBS Fit Company
00:25:42
Speaker
Fitness is where it starts. And I don't mean
00:25:45
Speaker
losing a ton of weight or getting super ripped up. And listen, if you do that, that's great. That's wonderful. I've been there. I've done all those things as well. What I mean when I say fitness is I say when I should say, when I say physical fitness, I mean just moving your body. Fitness is so much more than physical. It is mental.
00:26:07
Speaker
This episode is brought to you by MBS Fitco. Excitement is in the air at MBS Fitco as we prepare for our upcoming launch. We're introducing a line of premium activewear designed to seamlessly fit into both your workout routines and daily life. Our versatile collection is perfect for your workouts and equally suited for your day-to-day tasks, ensuring you look and feel your best, no matter the occasion. It's not just clothing.
00:26:30
Speaker
It's a commitment to self-care and embracing your best self. Be the first to experience the fusion of style, comfort and functionality. Subscribe to our VIP list and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok for insider information and exclusive perks available only on our launch day. Dive into the show notes for all the links you need.
00:26:49
Speaker
MBS Pit Co. is more than just activewear. It's a lifestyle. Join our community and be part of our exciting journey from day one to celebrate fitness, self-care, and your hero within. Don't just wear it, live it. All right, now let's dive back into this episode. And when you can change your mindset or just change your attitude because you have moved your body and it makes you feel good inside,
00:27:20
Speaker
Everything changes. Everything changes. The way that you show up in the world for yourself. A, you're proud of yourself because you did something that you know was good. But the way that you show up for everyone else changes as well. Because you are doing something to fill your cup first.
00:27:43
Speaker
And so MBS Fit Company is to give women those tools that they need to encourage you and motivate you to move your body. I believe that every woman is the epitome of superwoman, but there is a woman beyond the cape that needs love and attention and to be nurtured too.
Podcast as a Platform for Women
00:28:11
Speaker
That is partially where the birth of this podcast came about as an extension and a branch of MBS Fitco. Finding my best self podcast is something that I feel can help us women, us moms to come together and encourage each other and empower each other. Something that I've noticed is that
00:28:39
Speaker
We as moms and as women tend to hold a lot in and we don't talk about a lot of things. We hold a lot of things in because we feel that we're alone or maybe it's out of shame or guilt. And what I want women to know is that you're not alone. Every woman has a story. Every woman has a past and has a story of triumph, of failures, of transformation,
00:29:09
Speaker
a success of how they overcame and conquered and how much better they're doing today than they were before and how they managed to do that. No woman, no mom should feel alone. I believe in the power of untold stories, the untold stories of women who have overcome
00:29:37
Speaker
And I believe that by allowing these women a place and a space to share those stories, that we together can celebrate them and their triumphs and transformations, as well as be able to learn how they did it.
00:30:00
Speaker
and to encourage us and motivate us to find our best selves as well. This podcast is for women. This podcast is to help to give women a space, a safe place to open up and to help others.
00:30:25
Speaker
In my solo episodes, I plan to give little tidbits of my own personal advice and how I was able to get to where I am today and all of the things that I've very specifically and intentionally done. I am by no means a life coach or a counselor or a mentor. I am just a woman who has spent many years of my life
00:30:53
Speaker
trying to find who I am as a person.
The Power of Self-Care for Women
00:30:57
Speaker
And I want to help other moms do that as well. Other women do that as well. I wholeheartedly and firmly believe that every woman should put herself first because we cannot go out into this world, into the one life that you have to live
00:31:24
Speaker
and never have the feeling of self-love, of self-commitment, of fulfillment, of having your own cup full. You cannot continue to pour into the cups of others if you're not filling your own cup first, whether it's with workouts, nutrition, personal development, spiritual development, self-care days. We need that.
00:31:53
Speaker
in order to continue to do all of the things that we do every day and to continue to pour into others. I am here to encourage you to put yourself first, to find your best self, to find your hero within and to love and nurture that woman beyond the Cape because she deserves it. Thank you for listening to my intro.
00:32:23
Speaker
I hope that this podcast brings you much motivation, inspiration, encouragement, empowerment, insight, love. I hope that you enjoy it. Please stick around because there are so many wonderful interviews to come and inspiring women that you will hear from. And remember, you are strong, you are capable, and you are worthy. I love you.
00:32:52
Speaker
and I am endlessly rooting for you. Stick around.
Call to Action for Empowerment
00:33:12
Speaker
If you found value in today's episode, please feel free to subscribe to the podcast. Your subscription helps us reach and inspire more amazing women like you. And if you could take a moment to leave us a review, it would mean the world to us. Your feedback not only supports our growth, but also helps other women find this empowering space.
00:33:28
Speaker
Don't forget to share this episode with a friend, family member, or fellow hero in your life. Every share spreads a little more empowerment and inspiration. And for an extra dose of motivation and community support, don't forget to sign up for the VIP list for MBS Bitco. By joining, you get exclusive access to our premium versatile activewear and fitness essentials, carefully designed to inspire and accompany you on your self-care and fitness journey. Follow us on our social channels too for daily inspiration.
00:33:54
Speaker
Anna Peek into our latest collections. You'll find all the details and links in the show notes. Joining our VIP list is more than just a subscription. It's your entry into a world where fitness and self-care are celebrated, and every step towards wellness is cheered on.
00:34:08
Speaker
So until next time, keep shining, keep striving, and keep celebrating the extraordinary woman you are. Thank you again for tuning in to the Finding My Best Self podcast, where every story is a step towards finding your hero within. We'll catch you next time.