Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
How to Break Free from People-Pleasing: A Faith-Based Guide to Self-Acceptance
30 Plays6 days ago
Join Mandi St. Germaine in this raw and honest episode as she shares her journey from constant validation-seeking to genuine self-acceptance. Learn how faith, motherhood, and personal growth shaped her path to authenticity. Discover practical insights on breaking free from people-pleasing, embracing your unique journey, and finding validation through God rather than others. Whether you're struggling with body image, career confidence, or showing up authentically, this episode offers hope and practical wisdom for women ready to embrace their true selves.
And as always, remember:
YOU ARE STRONG.
YOU ARE CAPABLE.
YOU ARE WORTHY.
I love you and I’m ENDLESSLY rooting for you!
Finding My Best Self podcast suggestions?
Email me: info@mbsfit.co
Shop MBS | The Woman Beyond The Cape athleisure
Finding My Best Self- Facebook Community
https://www.facebook.com/groups/findingmybestselfpodcastcommunity/?ref=share_group_link
Finding My Best Self- Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/findingmybestselfpodcast/
MBS | The Woman Beyond The Cape Socials
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552052241285
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mbs_my_best_self/
Recommended
Transcript
Intro
Introduction & Purpose of Feedback
00:00:56
Pamela Rivet
Hi, and welcome back to the Finding My Best Self podcast. My name is Mandy St. Germain, and today is a solo episode. um If you're new here, we appreciate you ah listening and watching the podcast.
00:01:09
Pamela Rivet
We hope that you enjoy the episodes that we have. We are in season two at this point, so if you would love to leave us a review, give us feedback, all the topics that we are we talk about on the podcast come from you. So it's all things that we're we you know get feedback from or just things that are happening in our own lives ah between Pam and I and our listeners. And so definitely share some love, give us some feedback because that really is what drives are ah podcast. So, okay, so let's just get into it because honestly, i think today's topic is going to resonate with you or someone you know. And so i just want to be real and authentic. And I know that if you are an avid listener here, you know that that's what Pam and I
00:01:55
Pamela Rivet
you know, kind of build our podcast on is just to be real and authentic with you and to bring you the topics that you may be feeling or thinking about or or hearing from others and just no one is really discussing
Journey of Self-Acceptance
00:02:08
Pamela Rivet
it. So ah today might be a little bit personal um from my point of view, but I do feel that when we share, you know, our openness with others, that that's how we really connect because a lot of the times we're just not We're not talking about it. And so today's episode, I really want to dive into um self-acceptance, self-love in the hard topics and conversations that us as women and mostly moms kind of shy away from.
00:02:37
Pamela Rivet
ah Recently, i have kind of been going through this this new growth, this new spiritual growth. And then also just over the the last decade, I feel like I can honestly look back and say that I am not the same person I was 10 years ago. A lot of us aren't, right?
00:02:54
Pamela Rivet
um But why is that? What is happening to where we are completely transforming ourselves? I feel like in today's world, ah that's happening and you can see it all around.
00:03:05
Pamela Rivet
People are being more open, more honest, more raw and authentic. And that's what people want to see. We don't want the scripted content. We don't want the things that are going to um be the highlight reels. We want the real authentic content.
00:03:20
Pamela Rivet
view of other people's lives. And so today I kind of want to dive into that. I am going to be sharing some things that are personal to myself. So with anything, when you put yourself out there, I know that some of you may agree or disagree with the things that I might say, but at the same time, I feel like sharing your testimony, your story,
00:03:38
Pamela Rivet
ah can definitely resonate with someone or there's something you can take away from it in order to maybe, you know, help you see somebody else's perspective in a different way.
Empathy and Teaching the Next Generation
00:03:48
Pamela Rivet
Because I do feel like as the world starts to share more, we do have our opinions. We may disagree with others, but at the same time, it's having that compassion, that empathy for others and being able to say, okay, well, I may not agree with that.
00:04:02
Pamela Rivet
But i you know, i respect that that's your your will, your way ah that you're living your life. So I'm going to kind of dive in um first. I just want to want to talk to my people pleasers, because if you're anything like me, you've spent all your life trying to please others, right? You don't like confrontation. You don't want to put yourself out there and kind of speak your mind because you think that you're going to be ridiced ridiculed for it.
00:04:30
Pamela Rivet
ah Me personally, I'm a recovering ah people pleaser. Over the last two to three years, i have really dived into that aspect of my life. I am a mother of ah mother and stepmother to four beautiful girls. So to me, it's very important that I teach them not to make the same mistakes as I did.
00:04:50
Pamela Rivet
Um, and I call them mistakes, but really I can look back and it's been a life lesson that I've had to kind of teach and go through. So, um, but you do realize it when you have kids or, you know, you have that influence on someone else's life. It's like, Oh, you know, I'm noticing it in them more and more.
00:05:07
Pamela Rivet
Um, I have a daughter that's supposed to be 13 and I can see it, you know, I mean, girls, girl, mom here, ah the hormones, the kind of just drama, the attitude, but at the same time, it's that self-acceptance, that self-love and not trying to please others just to feel like you're validated.
Validation and Self-Worth
00:05:28
Pamela Rivet
And that word has been like in my head over the last probably year so much is the validation. i have lived my life constantly needing validation for from others, um whether that was career, my marriage, um as a mother, anything that I was doing, I felt like I needed to be validated. And I felt the best whenever I was validated.
00:05:52
Pamela Rivet
But all that has really done is just created this cycle of not being okay with myself in the way that I know God intended me to be. And that has really tried to like inspire things that I've gotten into over the last year.
00:06:08
Pamela Rivet
That i know God has taken me along this path in my life and all the things that I've been through and all the different situations I've been placed in. I can honestly look back and say, oh, man, like if I would have just known then what I know now.
00:06:23
Pamela Rivet
that I don't need that validation from others, that I am validated through him and through my own self that I did not need anyone else. i had the tools. I had the the mindset. I just didn't know what to do with it.
00:06:38
Pamela Rivet
And so if you're one of those people that like constantly need to just feel accepted or validated or you need that recognition, like I feel you, I have thrown myself into rooms that I probably shouldn't have just because I i thought, oh, you know, i definitely deserve this or need this.
00:06:58
Pamela Rivet
And then honestly, when some things have happened, it's like, oh, like it feels good. It feels nice to be recognized or it feels feels good, but it still didn't fill that void that I knew that I had.
00:07:10
Pamela Rivet
And so now that like I'm really working through that validation process, it's like, That's not where I'm going to get the validation filled from. I'm going to get that through who God intended me to be, like to be authentically me. And yeah I know that we say that all the time, but to truly feel that and to truly know that like you're living the way that God intended you to.
00:07:34
Pamela Rivet
And that you can truly say like, this is me. Like I'm real raw, authentically me on social media in person. You know, I definitely don't want to be one of those people that like you meet out in public and I'm a different way than what you see online.
00:07:49
Pamela Rivet
And I know that that's not what anybody strives for, right? Like we're not trying to put this highlight reel out and then be a different person behind closed doors. But that's a work in progress because a lot of the times we don't want to share the good, the bad, the ugly. We want people to only see one side of us because we don't want the judgment. We don't want to look at people's opinion on how we're doing things.
00:08:12
Pamela Rivet
But really, like if we really were to all step back and say, We are all different. We really were all made to be uniquely us and to live out the purpose that we are supposed to be living.
00:08:23
Pamela Rivet
Like my my friend next to me may have a completely different life path than I do. And I have to be respectful of that, whether I agree with it or not. And so a lot of this kind of ties into things that you may be doing in your life that You may not want to talk about because you feel like people going to have an opinion.
Conflict Avoidance and Personal Growth
00:08:43
Pamela Rivet
And so with that comes the people pleasing like, oh, you know, I'm just not going to discuss this because I don't want people to think this or I'm not going to do this because I don't want people to not speak to me anymore.
00:08:55
Pamela Rivet
So it's crazy that we are so worried about everyone else or we think we are worried about everyone else and what they're thinking. But honestly, they're not thinking about you. They probably are not even contemplating the things that you have in your mind because that has also been a big realization, right?
00:09:13
Pamela Rivet
Like you're so worried about what other people are going to think when really they're not thinking about you at all. You're the one that's plaguing yourself with all of these thoughts of, you know, ah not wanting to go into a room because you feel like you're not valued there or not walk into a room and feel confident because you don't feel qualified.
00:09:32
Pamela Rivet
And something I had said on my stories, if you follow me on Instagram, I said, God would not put you in a room if you weren't capable of being there. He wouldn't give you the tools that you need if you weren't capable of using them.
00:09:45
Pamela Rivet
So think about that. Like if you are a um something high in your job or if you are part of a group for moms or if you are something that has some type of importance and you feel like you're not qualified, God would have not opened those doors for you if that was not meant for you.
00:10:03
Pamela Rivet
Think about it. If you go back and you, and I can think of a ton of things, right? um I used to do Beachbody. And so I was really big and as a coach and the accolades and all of that, and all of that. And I remember I had this vision of what I thought was going to be my future with Beachbody.
00:10:24
Pamela Rivet
And I could picture myself on stage. I could picture myself giving my testimony on how, you know, it had helped me, you know, after i'd had my girls and gotten my body back and found myself again.
00:10:36
Pamela Rivet
But that wasn't my time. And I got so discouraged because I'm like, what makes me different from anyone else in this room? I'm a mom. I'm working hard. I'm building a team. I'm doing all the things I need to be doing.
00:10:48
Pamela Rivet
But it wasn't my time. It doesn't mean that I wasn't capable of doing it. It just wasn't the right time for me. And as time has went on, I've noticed how doors have opened and I had to be built to be able to do the things I'm doing now.
00:11:04
Pamela Rivet
I wasn't capable then because it wasn't the right time. And so I feel like we definitely put that added pressure on ourself. Because if you're doing something and you're not the best, then you feel like people are going to look down on you and like, oh, you know, here she goes again. You know, she's getting into something new.
00:11:22
Pamela Rivet
But each time that God puts you in different situations, that's because he's preparing you for the thing. um It's not that you're not capable or or that it's not the right time right then. It's that that preparation hasn't happened.
00:11:36
Pamela Rivet
And so a lot of that also happens with like our self-acceptance, because if we don't value who we are and we don't truly feel that we are made to be the person that we are today, then that's going to happen. We're going to be our biggest critic.
00:11:50
Pamela Rivet
And I know as women, like this is our thing. Like we are harder on ourself than anyone else can ever be. it's It's insane the conversations that I have with moms and with women that you know They don't see what we see.
00:12:04
Pamela Rivet
They don't see the light. They don't see the spark. They don't feel important. Whether you are a working mom or stay-at-home mom, I have been both. I completely know where you're at, and I know how hard it is to feel validated and loved and accepted in such hard situations.
00:12:23
Pamela Rivet
My husband was in the military. He deployed five times. I have been at home with three kids for nine months at a time in a state with no family. And i've felt it. It's hard. You don't get the validation. You don't get that kind of you know, you're doing such a good job. Or if you do hear it, you're not believing it because you're literally...
00:12:43
Pamela Rivet
surviving. You're in survival mode. You're trying to make it to the best the next best thing. And you know, they use this. You're so strong. And it's like, I'm here because I have to be here. And I'm working the best that I can. And is it perfect? Absolutely not.
00:12:59
Pamela Rivet
Do I still think about times with my kids that I could have done better? Absolutely. But at the same time, I know that all of that was preparing me for something else. The hard times are going to be the times that really build that character in you and really help you to look back years later and say, I needed that.
00:13:17
Pamela Rivet
whether i ah Whether I was crying through it all, whether we were eating girl dinner every night, like we needed to go through that as a family and then also for myself to be where I am today.
Community Support and Self-Acceptance
00:13:29
Pamela Rivet
And so another hard part about just self-acceptance and being able to not look at other people for validation is to really just speak your truth whenever you feel that you want to share it. Now, I know for a lot of people, social media, like putting yourself out there is really hard because, of course, you get the critics, you get the opinions, but I do feel like we do struggle with that in feeling like we can share out.
00:13:58
Pamela Rivet
um Luckily, today's world is starting to be a little bit better with that, where people can be open and and real and not have so much backlash. But at the same time, I feel like we don't have enough of in a community to feel like we can. And so that's what we're trying to do here with the with um MBS and with the Finding My Best Self podcast is having that open conversation so that women really do feel comfortable to share.
00:14:26
Pamela Rivet
um For me, i have also struggled with that with my body image. Yeah. For years. I mean, I remember even as young as my daughters now, and I think that that's why it's such like a huge um push for me is because I remember even at that age, probably around my daughter's age, like 12, 13, I had to get put on some medication, I gained a bunch of weight.
00:14:50
Pamela Rivet
And then it just was so hard to get it off. And I remember having to feel validated from others because I felt like I wasn't good enough, you know, or and didn't look like the other girls. And for women and young women, this is a hard topic because we have these,
00:15:09
Pamela Rivet
You know, all of social media trying to show what pretty, what beautiful looks like when really we were beautifully and wonderfully made the way that we are. And so trying to explain that to this new generation of children that are entrenched in social media is the hardest thing to do as a parent.
00:15:28
Pamela Rivet
as a woman and building communities like this help because we can share out our stories, our testimonies on how, you know, we did struggle like that and we didn't feel accepted.
00:15:39
Pamela Rivet
But at the same time, you have to remember who you're rooted in and that all the other stuff does not matter. It does not matter what other people think. No one is thinking about you more than you are.
00:15:53
Pamela Rivet
Let me say that again. No one's thinking about you more than you are. You are the one that is nitpicking yourself. Other people are not doing that. They're more worried about themselves than they are anyone else.
00:16:04
Pamela Rivet
And I think just relaying that message to other women. And being supportive, being that light for others. When you step out and you see a mom in the grocery store struggling with her babies, just tell her she's doing a good job.
00:16:19
Pamela Rivet
We've all been there. we all know. And if you don't have kids, you have seen it. You have seen the struggles that women go through. And it's, it's being empathetic to other people, especially in this day and age.
00:16:33
Pamela Rivet
There's so many different things out there that we can do for our bodies. Um, whether you do facials or you get Botox fillers, or you're on the shots, like it, it doesn't matter if that's what makes you feel happy, healthy, healthy,
00:16:50
Pamela Rivet
you're taking care of yourself, then you shouldn't feel ridiculed for it. um Personally, i have been on some type a of a medical shot for probably two years now.
00:17:06
Pamela Rivet
elm I have not spoken a lot about this only because of the ridicule that a lot of people feel that with the semaglutide or trisepatide shots that it is a stigma for weight loss.
00:17:21
Pamela Rivet
What is on the other side of that is the other conversation that it has been a medical miracle for a lot of people. um Whether you are a diabetic or whether you do struggle with weight loss or insulin resistance, it is a tool in order to get you healthier.
00:17:38
Pamela Rivet
um For me personally, i if you know anything about my background, i have been in to health and wellness since before my first daughter was born about 12, 13 years ago. And i have always tried to do my best, whether it was working out ah twice a week, five days a week, doing a bikini competition, ah losing 50 pounds.
00:18:02
Pamela Rivet
I have always shared and been open and honest with my health and fitness journey. and Part of that recently, um it was probably after I turned 35. If you're a woman over 35, you know that like your body just starts to change and starts to kind of have hormonal issues and things like that. so ah started to really deep dive into my health and wellness journey, but i was it was around the COVID era and I was really struggling mentally.
00:18:30
Pamela Rivet
um I had some mental health issues. We were just moving to Louisiana. My husband was still in the military and we were just going through change. And so I was struggling both, you know, trying to get into a new routine, but then also struggling with depression, anxiety, anxiety.
00:18:47
Pamela Rivet
And then obviously my health took a backseat. So I needed something that was going to help. I tried everything I had done years before, portion controlling, um macros, working out, and nothing was helping. I don't know if it was just...
Health Struggles and Medication Stigma
00:19:06
Pamela Rivet
You know, me just going through the depression anxiety. At this point, I was at my wits in. I was absolutely miserable. um I know that me and Pam have talked on previous podcasts about the dark days and it was very dark.
00:19:20
Pamela Rivet
um Even your friends that are smiley and and seem bubbly definitely have the dark days. So that's why I said you need to be a light for others because you never know. But, um, so I, I reached out my sister's mother-in-law owned a clinic and they have a doctor there. I had gotten lab work done and it was something that I truly felt generationally that are the women in our family were insulin resistant after a certain age.
00:19:47
Pamela Rivet
And ah truly feel that that's what, has helped me maintain a healthier healthier lifestyle. um Of course, you know, you get the bad rap, you get the people that feel like it's just the the miracle weight loss shot, but that's not the case for all.
00:20:04
Pamela Rivet
It has truly been a long process for me. um was not one that went on the shots and automatically just started skyrocketing my weekly dosages and just trying to lose as much of weight as possible because I've known that about my body that if I lose a bunch of weight quickly, I'm going to gain it all back even quicker.
00:20:27
Pamela Rivet
So I wanted this to be a long-term plan. So I started out very slow. I was probably on the same dosage of the shots for six months and they kept like, you know, you can bump up, you can bump up. And i'm like, no because I want to take this slow and easy. I want this to be something that I use as a tool, not as a quick fix.
00:20:45
Pamela Rivet
And so obviously with that, you still have to work out. You still have to eat right. You definitely want to get your labs done regularly because you want to make sure that you're not losing um or, you know, getting yourself scanned, making sure I'm not losing muscle mass and just being very mindful and not looking at it as a quick fix.
00:21:05
Pamela Rivet
It is something that can be beneficial. Obviously speaking to your doctor and making sure that that's the right option for you. But I was on semaglutide for about a year and a half and lost 30 pounds.
00:21:17
Pamela Rivet
And then once we moved down to Louisiana or South Louisiana, ah started going to a new clinic and i was just kind of plateaued for a while. And that was fine with me. Like I said, I never really looked at it like I need to be a certain weight.
00:21:31
Pamela Rivet
I wanted it to just be where I felt healthy. And when I am on the shots, I feel healthier. I have a better mental focus, not the brain fog, and definitely just working towards an overall healthier me. Like I said, I still work out. I still eat healthy because I don't feel like...
00:21:51
Pamela Rivet
You know, doing it the other way is the healthier way. Obviously, if you if you know anyone that has taken the shots and just taken them like you will lose weight. But to me, you're going to gain it back the second you get off the shots.
00:22:03
Pamela Rivet
um That's my personal opinion. um i definitely do feel like low dosage is probably the best way to go. especially if you're wanting to do it the slow and steady way and not necessarily, you know, crash your body and just make sure that you are being mindful and working with a nutritionist or working with a clinic just to kind of stay on top of it. So I know I've not really shared much about that.
00:22:27
Pamela Rivet
um Like I said, it's been since 2022 that i have been um in and out of taking the shots um and also be 12 because I do feel like to help with fatigue or anything like that.
00:22:39
Pamela Rivet
But my side effects have been minimal and I have had a much better lifestyle since. um It has motivated me to get back into helping other women.
00:22:50
Pamela Rivet
And um this was a topic that I just never discussed because I know that there's so much stigma behind it. But going back to self-acceptance and going back to truly being authentically you,
00:23:02
Pamela Rivet
I do feel like you have to share it all and and not expecting anything negative back because regardless of how people feel or regardless how they feel about you doing anything for yourself that may not align with what they're thinking, this is not their
Living Authentically in Life's Seasons
00:23:17
Pamela Rivet
life. This is your life and you have to do what's best for you. And as long as you're doing it in a way that is healthy and you're continuously you know trying to live out your purpose and will for your life, that that's all that matters.
00:23:31
Pamela Rivet
um Self-acceptance is probably the hardest thing to learn. I am almost 40 and i feel like I'm finally there. It just took 40 years to get there. So I'm trying my best to not have my girls make the same mistake and truly know that putting the extra time in for them, taking care of their health, taking care of who they are and truly you know, just really honing into their own personalities.
00:24:00
Pamela Rivet
All of my girls are completely different. And I feel like not trying to put a stigma on, oh, you're a girl, you have to do this. You have to look this way. It's like everyone has their own thing and that's what makes us uniquely us.
00:24:14
Pamela Rivet
And so if we could just get to a point to where we are openly sharing ourselves wholeheartedly without ridicule, ridice I can't even talk today. Ridicule.
00:24:26
Pamela Rivet
Then it's going to be that beautiful world that we all wish and hope to live in, that we just have empathy for each other and that we can be a light for each other whenever we do see people struggling.
00:24:37
Pamela Rivet
We are so caught up in ourselves that sometimes it's hard to look out and see what other people around you are struggling So this is kind of my ode to you for that, that you work hard in just every day thinking to yourself, how can I help someone else?
00:24:54
Pamela Rivet
How can i live ah authentically myself today and be able to Before you accept something, before you walk into a room, just know that you were there for a reason.
00:25:06
Pamela Rivet
yeah These doors have not just opened you know coincidentally. Everything is aligned with where you're supposed to be in that time in your life. And every season is different. Like I said, 10 years ago, completely different person and probably another 10 before that.
00:25:21
Pamela Rivet
Also, just completely, I feel like I've lived like 10 lives by now, but um it's a beautiful journey looking back and seeing all the things that have come into fruition and just know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made and you're here in this season of life for a reason, whether it's a hard one or an easy one.
00:25:42
Pamela Rivet
Just know that there's something that you can take out that's good because everything is done for your good. And i just truly hope that this episode resonated with you or you can share it with someone that has kind of the same situations or something to take away.
00:25:58
Pamela Rivet
um Like I said, please leave us a review or topic suggestions because we do want to hear from you. We want this to be a community for you to come to, to feel safe, to feel seen and to feel heard.
00:26:11
Pamela Rivet
So thank you so much for listening today and we hope to see you on the next episode.