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Nothing Is Ever What It Seems
158 Plays1 year ago
You know that phrase "don't judge the book by its cover" well sadly a lot of us do that. We end up believing that our opinions about people, places, or things are facts hence our reality gets distorted. After a while, we have a hard time making a distinction between our judgment and facts.
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Transcript
Intro & Apology for Missed Episode
00:00:14
Speaker
Hey guys, so welcome back to the pod. First, let me apologize for not having an episode last week. I had a terrible planning and I did not really take into account that I'm not going to have an episode for last week.
00:00:33
Speaker
Yeah, so I apologize. Please accept my apologies. It was not on my agenda. There is so much going on in my head. It just did not even come across my mind. Thank God I was dumb as like ads and everything. So that's why I didn't like overthink it, because if there was an advertising and I had to post it, I would be screwed. But thank God there was nothing there.
Moving Plans & Housing Challenges in Miami
00:00:55
Speaker
uh but yeah hi guys so let me tell you guys why there was no episode last week because if you guys can recall from the previous episode i said there's a high chance
00:01:10
Speaker
I'm not like 100% sure, obviously, because things can change very quickly that I might move to Miami by the end of this year. I don't know. I hope that happens because things just so unpredictable. But I'm just saying that's the idea. So before I do that, I decided to go to Miami with my dad to see some apartments. Yeah, apartment hunting fun said no one ever.
00:01:40
Speaker
I feel like if you're looking for someone else, that's fun because you're just looking in. But if you're the one who's looking for the apartment or the house, it is like I didn't realize how stressful it was because I haven't done this for a very long while for probably like at least five years, five, four, maybe four years.
00:01:59
Speaker
Five four years and the fact that now I had I had to do this myself I mean thank God my dad was there, but I'm just saying like it's definitely a stressful process Thank God. I'm not buying anything, but just even apartment hunting. It's crazy and on top of it. I would say
00:02:16
Speaker
I guess, like, everyone is moving to Miami. There is, like, nothing available in Miami. Like, especially, like, nice apartments that, like, you know, you like. And, like, you're like, oh, that's cool. Like, and the thing is, like, they're not cheap either, like, that I add. But there are, like, very, very few availabilities or the ones that are just there. So if you don't put a deposit or just apply for it, not even deposit, you have to apply for it. If you get approved, then you can put a deposit that, like, it's gone.
00:02:46
Speaker
It is so crazy, it's insane. And also when I, because I scheduled the tour, it was like nine places. And I will be very initially gonna leave on Thursday, but...
00:03:01
Speaker
I wanted to see one more place on Saturday and there was an open house and they were not doing open houses any other day so we decided to stay so it was a bit more complicated process. I had to find another hotel and get another car.
Travel Woes: Flight Cancellations & Car Accident
00:03:17
Speaker
It was such a I mean, everything worked out towards the end, but it was an experience and on top of it. So interesting that our flight was canceled the same day that we were. I was literally we were at the open house afterwards. We got in the car and I got a notification from Delta saying that all your flights are canceled. I was like, like, what the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck?
00:03:41
Speaker
And they booked us up for like next day was like some like layover in Atlanta. I was like, no way. This is not happening over my dead body. I will thank my ex-boyfriend for this. Well, I can't believe that I'm saying that it doesn't feel like that.
00:03:57
Speaker
Yeah, for this because he taught me so much about this experience. Well, he was doing it and I learned from it that there is always a flight and you can do that. And thanks Delta for hooking me up to go to JFK instead of LaGuardia, which is still fine. It was not a weather condition. It was like some no crew available or something like that. Some lame excuse, but I did get some miles for it and certificates. So thank you, Delta. Still love you. And we also got the upgrade for our seats. So I cannot.
00:04:27
Speaker
But I'm just saying there's a lot happened. And on top of it, it's the last thing I'm going to say about that. As like right after open house, I feel like my life like I just felt like my life is in shambles because we were like we were driving back to the hotel so we can check out and get check out. Yeah. And there was like traffic and stuff. I guess there was a car accident, bunch of car accidents on the way. So we're not moving someone behind me.
00:04:57
Speaker
like got super close and like touched my bumper. The thing is because I was on like I was not moving. I was not on park but I was not moving. My feet were in the brakes and we felt it. I like I felt something and I was asking my dad I was like did you feel that? He's like yeah.
00:05:18
Speaker
And then I was like, oh my God, fuck, like I can't believe this is happening. We're literally on the highway. I'm like, I don't want to get out of my car or whatever. And he started speaking Spanish like because I rolled down my window to see what's going on and.
00:05:32
Speaker
He started speaking Spanish and I did not understand the word of it besides Ola or something. It was so awful. I feel like if I do move to Miami, I have to learn some Spanish because this is not going to work out. Then we let me get back because I didn't have time and we were literally in the middle of the highway. I was like, I don't have time. We have to get back to the hotel and everything. It's like, I cannot do this. Worst case scenario was like, I have insurance so it will cover it, but no worries.
00:05:58
Speaker
because in Florida there's no front plate and I kept trying to see if he can go in front of me or in the other side that's why I changed my lane so I can get his plate number so I can see it because essentially I got re-rendered but there was no damage or anything afterwards but so I can get his information but like it did not work out so I never got his information I kept telling my dad I was like okay write it down get a pen and paper Toyota Toyota
00:06:26
Speaker
that I could not get any more information because like I had to I changed the lane and he just didn't like car got in front of him and shit so I never got his information but thank god when we get back to the hotel I looked at the damage and there was no damage thank god I think he just touched it but again I still felt it so I was like oh my god fuck like I can't with this happening so yeah I can see why people say people are terrible drivers in Florida
00:06:55
Speaker
But people are so terrible in New York, too. So I'm not like, oh, my God, so great. But yeah, that's why I did not have an episode. Long story short.
Disappointment with 'Luxury' Listings
00:07:05
Speaker
So, yeah, I have now it's the apartment hunting started very rocky because first two or three we saw was absolutely not great. And what was so funny, it was like they called them luxury, but nothing was luxurious about it. It felt like an asylum or hospital. I am not even joking.
00:07:22
Speaker
And also, I'm not even saying this in a way, they're like, oh my God, like, I want something so nice, high rise. Like, because those places were not cheap. But the fact that they're giving it for that price and like it was bad, it was just like the hallways were dirty and like there were like tiles everywhere, like it did not feel homey. Again, it felt like a hospital.
00:07:43
Speaker
So I am, it started bad. And I was like, oh my God, maybe I'm not gonna like any places, but that's why we also extend this day so I can see as many places as possible. Because doing another trip would cost way more money and it would be way more inconvenient. So I end up liking like three, four places. So hopefully I can apply and get one of them and hopefully get approved. I can't be like, now you have to get approved and shit because I feel like back then, I mean, back then, I mean, I sound so old.
00:08:13
Speaker
But I was doing like during college or right after college. I feel like as long as you have good credit like credit application, I get credit and you just put a deposit. That's it. Like I did not care so much about it. Like but in here is like you have to prove your income. At least it's not as crazy as New York because in New York.
00:08:34
Speaker
For a renter, like in order to qualify for renting, you have to be making 40 times of the rent a year. It's insane. At least in Miami, it's just, or Florida area, I think it's just three times the income. I mean, the rent, like a month. So if you're like making charging 2000, you have to be making 6,000 a month, something like that. So it's not as crazy, but still I'm a bit scared. Hopefully I'll pass that.
00:09:00
Speaker
But I am very grateful that I have these experiences because this prepares me for my future. And that's why I'm actually excited to do it. But hopefully I get not rejected. Anyway, so that is the update. Today, I am kind of inspired from my trip in Miami. I want to talk about why we focus so much on the surface.
00:09:27
Speaker
about everything. I feel like many things we see or we hear about, it might not be true, but from the surface, that's what we automatically gain some thoughts or judgment about it or opinion about it. And we just think that is what it is.
00:09:46
Speaker
We already have a pre-populated concept and opinion about this. When people say nothing is ever what it seems and that's what I want to talk about because I noticed very similar things in Florida or Miami versus New York.
00:10:03
Speaker
And I just want to talk about this that like how things on the surface could be great or could look great, but it's not what it seems. And I feel like I want to deep dive into it and just talk about it because I just some examples about the two so you guys can.
00:10:20
Speaker
take away from this experience, but also I could take away from the experience so that I feel like we don't have, we don't misjudge people or things just because we don't know about it and I learned so much about it from this trip and I feel like it will be useful for all of us.
00:10:39
Speaker
Let's start from the beginning. Like, where does this come from? I think because we are so visual people, but also we are kind of people that we automatically just create thoughts or populate ideas or concepts and things about places we see people we see or things we have heard of, but we don't even know.
00:11:05
Speaker
Judgment, like we already have some sort of a pre we do some sort of pre judging about everything. I don't care what you say, but I'm pretty sure we all have done this at one point in our lives. Maybe over time we just get better at it and we don't do that anymore. But I feel like initially that's the kind of people we are.
00:11:27
Speaker
Maybe I'm just a Virgo and I just prejudge everything and everyone, including myself. Put that aside. But that's something what we do. And I think this is not to say it's wrong, but I think more you learn about it and more you're like, wow, how wrong I was. Because when we already have an opinion about something, it's very hard to change that sometimes. And we think that is the truth or that is the reality.
00:11:57
Speaker
And the truth is, appearances can be very deceptive. And I mean, very, very deceptive.
Cost of Living Assumptions in Major Cities
00:12:07
Speaker
Everything on the surface can seem great until you get to the bottom of it. The reason I'm even talking about this topic is because not like I'm saying I got scammed, but I saw, like I looked up many apartments online.
00:12:26
Speaker
right in Miami area, everything. And I saw some great prices, you know, everything some some places under 2K. And I was like, oh, my God, that's great. Like I can see some money. You know, I don't like it. I don't need to, you know, go overboard and like I can use that for some other things because it doesn't matter how much money you make. There is no need for you to spend a lot of money on food, rent or other things living below your means.
00:12:56
Speaker
It's great because you can invest that money or you can save that money for your future. So, I was like, oh, this is great, you know, like, and the pictures in some of these apartments. They're really great. I know, okay, I know, I'm a graphic, like, I have graphic design background. I know Photoshop. I know things can be manipulated, right?
00:13:19
Speaker
And some of these, like obviously I already know that there was lighting or whatever, but when you see the neighborhood or when you see the building, because some of them, like they took a picture of even the building. I'm not even talking about apartments. The building from a corner where the next door of the building was a, I don't know, some complex or some trash place. Again, I'm not saying this in a bad way.
00:13:44
Speaker
that they didn't even show that, but that was the reality. There was something else going on right next door. It didn't feel safe, but the fact that they cropped it out from the picture and they put the other side of the building, it looks nice. But when you see the actual in real life, that's why I wanted to see it anyways, like IRL.
00:14:06
Speaker
The pool didn't even look great. Like, it looked very dirty. Again, I was already expecting it, but, like, again, I don't even care about the pool at this point. I was like, okay, pool, whatever. I can always go to the beach. But I was like, oh, my God, I have to see the garage. Some didn't even have a garage. That's another story. Or I have to see the apartment and everything.
00:14:26
Speaker
The fact that they photoshopped the hell out of so many things, even the demo unit they were showing us, some of them had broken drawers and some of them had a lot of dust and dirt in the apartment overall.
00:14:49
Speaker
and the parts of it was like broken. There are some broken things. I'm just saying like from the picture, I'm just so glad I came and I saw it because I was like, oh my God, $1,600. This is such a great deal. I can't like, you know, I can take advantage of this.
00:15:04
Speaker
But the fact that I came and saw, I was like, wow, no wonder it's 1600. But also, like, this is not even worth that price. I'm just saying, like, I feel like from the if you just saw this online, I'm just telling you, you will be just like me. You're like, wow, this is great, this great price. And also because someone like me, right, because like I am coming from New York. I don't know so much about Miami and I have been to Miami many times, but as a visitor, like for vacation or for fun.
00:15:33
Speaker
I never lived here, so I don't know the details, and I don't know the prices, I don't know the average. So the fact that I saw it, I was like, oh, it might be Miami, that's why it's cheap or whatever, I never questioned it. But I came and I saw it, I was like, oh, this is not it, this is not the place. And that's why I'm trying to come out is like,
00:15:51
Speaker
Appearances can be very deceptive, especially when you see online versus what it is in person. That's one thing. And another thing is what they say and what it is actually in you see with your eyes. It's a completely different story. And same thing I'm going to compare about New York City.
00:16:14
Speaker
It's also a very similar experience. A lot of the times, people from the outside who are visiting New York or who are coming to New York, or they ask me where I live and I say I live in New York, they're like, oh my god, like, how can you afford to live in New York or whatever. It's like,
00:16:30
Speaker
Yeah, I understand. You know, like it's an expensive place. But the fact that a lot of people think in order to live in New York, you have you must be loaded or you're just so rich or you just make a lot of money to live in New York, which is not true. It's not the case. Like if you look deep into it.
00:16:52
Speaker
A lot of people who live in New York, they don't make more than 70K a year. It's just a known fact. Like, it's like average. They don't make a lot of money. Yes, there are people, finance crews, FinTech people, that they make a lot of money.
00:17:10
Speaker
But that's not the average. That's not like a lot of people in New York. A lot of people in New York, they don't make a lot of money. In New York, it's like this. There is essentially no middle income at this point. Middle middle income. I mean, middle class, middle class. You're either poor or you're rich.
00:17:28
Speaker
And there's no in-between, essentially.
Insights from Fort Lauderdale
00:17:30
Speaker
And they made that pretty, pretty clear. And you would think there are a lot of rich people, yes, there are, but the average when it comes to it, there are a lot of poor people. So, and I don't say this in a bad way. They're like, oh, I don't belong to this category or whatever. I am the middle class that I am being getting kicked out. That's what I'm trying to say.
00:17:50
Speaker
But this is what I'm saying. Like, I feel like people already have a judgment about New York or people who live in New York and they're like, you must be making so much money. You must be so rich or like you must be that you must be this. It's not true. But from the surface, that's what they assume because they're like, oh, my God, New York is this kind of place. New York is so glamorous. New York is like this. They already have an opinion and they haven't even seen the place. And don't get me wrong. I have done the same thing like many times. I have been to Miami, right?
00:18:19
Speaker
and I had fun or whatever. But even just coming this time around, because it wasn't just for fun, it was like to see apartments, like it was truly different experience. It was a very eye opening experience to seeing many parts of Miami that I have never seen before. And I was like, wow, that's the, that's like, yes, there are nice parts that people live and there are parts that like, you know, there are hotels and everything. But the parts that people actually live, it's so different. I'm just saying it's such a different experience.
00:18:48
Speaker
and I saw it in the new eye and that's why I wanted to say it's not what it seems. I thought of it differently before I came and now I think of it differently. And not to say I'm second guessing my
00:19:05
Speaker
my choice, but I was just saying it's different. And on top of it, a lot of other things I learned and this is again my pre-judgment, but also I'm pretty sure this is a lot of people's pre-judgment from New York or from other places. Like another instance is like a lot of people, if you don't know Florida or if you don't know the area or if you're not familiar with it,
00:19:26
Speaker
they think Miami is the place, Miami that eat place, you know, it's the shit, you know, it's the place, like it's like New York. Then they think like Fort Lauderdale, like, ew, like, it's not the place, like, why would you go there? There's nothing fun there, whatever. Which is not true.
00:19:43
Speaker
Like, I have heard over the course of one week, I have learned so much about Miami or Florida overall. While I was on top of it, I learned how great Fort Lauderdale is as well, which in my head, I always thought like Fort Lauderdale is like a knockoff of Miami and trying to be Miami, but it's cheaper, which is, again, not true anymore. Everywhere in Florida is now expensive.
00:20:11
Speaker
Maybe not everywhere, but like I've looked into most places for Lauderdale and also Miami. They're both like very similar prices, not nothing different. But I'm just saying they're equally great places. Actually, most people say for Lauderdale is better than Miami.
00:20:26
Speaker
Which, in my case, because I didn't know so much about it from the surface, because only times I have been to Fort Lauderdale area is because I chose the airport and the Miami airport, like, the landing was not available at the Miami, so I had to choose Fort Lauderdale. I'm just saying, the fact that I already had judged it, I was like, ew, Fort Lauderdale, probably, like, old people and, like, just retired people, I would be so bored or whatever.
00:20:50
Speaker
But the amount of stories I have been hearing from realtors and like the leasing agents and everything saying that like, oh, Fort Lauderdale is actually a cool place. And like a lot of people who are very like dedicated, they're working, they're more professional versus Miami. People are more like just fun and stuff like that.
00:21:09
Speaker
So I'm just saying, I had no idea. Like, none of this was for me. Like, I, from the surface, I had completely, completely different ideas about Miami or Fort Lauderdale. But I'm just saying, this is just one of the examples that I'm saying it, that, like, nothing is ever what it seems. From the surface, we can just assume so many things.
Media Exaggeration of Hurricane Nicole
00:21:29
Speaker
One last thing I'm gonna say about Miami, because I don't want to make everything about Miami or Florida in this episode, but
00:21:36
Speaker
During our trip, I think there was a hurricane going on called Hurricane Nicole. Such a pretty name for a hurricane, but besides the point, people were like texting us, calling us like my sister, my other sister, like my dad's friends and everything. They were like, be careful, there's a hurricane going on, whatever, which that day we were out entire day. Yes, it rained here and there, but it was not crazy.
00:22:05
Speaker
the fact that like people like the media was like oh my god hurricanes going on this is like they made it so crazy that like oh my god it's awful the fact that it was just rain like which i have seen it everywhere like it probably rained way worse in new york than miami that time and we were totally fine but we were the one we were the one no like we
00:22:27
Speaker
We are the ones who know what was going on and what's happening actually versus that people were texting us. They're like, oh my God, be careful, whatever. It's like they don't know. That's what I'm saying. I feel like from the surface and from what we hear, we can automatically just guess and say something. But we just don't know the reality. And I feel like we do this with a lot of things in life.
Social Media Misconceptions
00:22:50
Speaker
When it comes to news, when it comes to social media, like, I mean, I have a lot of great examples when it comes to social media. A lot of times people are like, how do you make money with social media? Can you even make money with social media? I get this question all the fucking time. Like, I'm just like, it's insane. The fact that people have, because I feel like people already have this judgment, prejudgment, it is so hard to change people's mind. Incredibly hard.
00:23:15
Speaker
Not to say that they won't, some people do, but I'm just saying from the surface, some people try to accept their opinion as facts, then in reality, it's not true, but that's what they are trying to accept it.
00:23:31
Speaker
And that is the sad truth, honestly, but I think from this episode and what I'm trying to get at is that like, I think we can have an opinion about something already, which is okay, you know, because we are human beings, we always, we all have opinions about things, even the things that we don't know of. But after we experience and we see the reality, it is important to change that.
00:23:55
Speaker
so that we don't have essentially misconceptions or we don't we don't just base everything on our opinions. Like the fact that now that I learned so much about Fort Lauderdale, now I'm like, wow, maybe I should consider that. I'm just saying like I am not trying to be like, oh, my God, you like not the place. It could be different for everyone. But the fact that I keep hearing about this from multiple people that says something about it, that it is the reality, it's the truth.
00:24:24
Speaker
And many things I am saying is that like, again, maybe this is like the one last thing I would say about Miami. Many of these apartments, some of them, again, I said like, they were not cheap. They were like, oh, close to 2K too. And I saw it, it was terrible, right? I'm like, amount of money they are charging. But on top of it, when I went to see the reviews, because they make it seem so luxurious, when you go into the reviews, like, you know, one review, two review,
00:24:52
Speaker
two, maybe three reviews could be bad, you know, because you're like, oh, maybe they were having a bad day or maybe they're biased because I always take the reviews as a grain of salt. I know it might not be true. But the fact that when you see when you look at they have maybe 700 reviews or 500 reviews and out of all that 500, if at least 100 of them are bad, that says something like they can't all be fake or they can't all be like biased.
00:25:21
Speaker
So that's what I'm saying. Nothing is ever what it seems because when you look at pictures, when you see the place, you're like, this looks great, but what is wrong with it? And you can never know. And it's just so sad that we live in this kind of society that we have to go above and beyond to make sure something is good because there's so much trash or so much garbage on the Internet. Also, in real life, nothing is like
00:25:46
Speaker
Again, just from what I'm citing, nothing is ever what it seems. Like these apartments, they call it luxuries, but they're not luxuries. Or they don't offer certain services, but they hide it. Then you find out later with reviews or people who have done it, who have gotten out of places. Even many places, we met current tenants and we asked them what they think, and they were super honest with us.
00:26:09
Speaker
I'm just saying, I feel like it's so crazy that you think this is the place you want to live or this is the place and based on the price and everything, then when people actually tell you the truth, you're like, whoa, that's not what I had in mind. That's not what I expected.
00:26:25
Speaker
Exactly. Like nothing is ever what it seems.
Conclusion & Advice on Critical Thinking
00:26:28
Speaker
And I'm not trying to put this episode out there to make people more paranoid and become cynical about everything. Please don't, because then we will have a very, very miserable life. But have some critical thinking when it comes to these kind of things.
00:26:44
Speaker
You can have an opinion about things, about people, but once you get to know them, you will know the real truth and then you can form an actual opinion about them that is somewhat based on facts. And that's why I want this episode to be about. So I hope that made sense. Anyways, I hope you guys like this episode. If you do, please don't forget to rate us on Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. And I'll see you guys next week with another episode. Bye guys.