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Ep. 43: From Chaos to Clarity: How This Mom Built Systems That Actually Work (Daily Well Planner Co-Creator Reveals All)
23 Plays1 month ago
You know that feeling when you wake up already exhausted? When your to-do list has a to-do list? Kendra Cooke, TEDx speaker and creator of the Daily Well Planner, went from receptionist to Realtor of the Year by mastering the art of intentional living—and she's sharing exactly how she did it.
In this episode of Mommas Who Lead, discover how to move from survival mode to intentional living without adding more to your plate or sacrificing what matters most.
🎯 What You'll Learn:
• The pivotal moment that changed everything for Kendra
• Why she thought she had a time management problem (but really had a money problem)
• Simple systems that create freedom, not restriction
• The biggest mistakes women make with productivity and planning
• How to eliminate chaos with just 3 lists: Have-tos, Non-negotiables, and Projects
• The Daily Well Planner: 6-month format designed for busy women
💜 About the Daily Well Planner:
All-in-one planner featuring goal setting, financial planning, daily workflows, reflection pages, and note-taking—everything you need in one beautiful purple and gold spiral notebook.
Perfect for: Faith-driven moms, mompreneurs, women in leadership, military spouses, and anyone ready to stop waiting for "someday" and start building their dreams today.
This is your permission slip to stop playing small. Your breakthrough is on the other side of your fear.
Guest: Kendra Cooke
Website: kendracooke.com
The Daily Well Planner: dailywellplanner.store
Social Media: @kendracooke (Instagram, Facebook)
Key Takeaways:
- Why systems give you freedom, not restriction
- How to identify what actually matters (and let go of the rest)
- The power of boundaries without guilt
- How to use The Daily Well Planner to create intentional days
- Mindset shifts for moving from chaos to clarity
Resources Mentioned:
- The Daily Well Planner (6-month format, $60, U.S. shipping only) available here: https://dailywellplanner.store
- Kendra's book: Embrace Empower Evolve (available on Amazon and Audible)
- Kendra's TEDx Talk
- Kendra's website: kendracooke.com
Connect with Kendra:
- Website: kendracooke.com
- Instagram: @kendracooke
- Facebook: @kendracooke
- The Daily Well Planner: dailywellplanner.store
Connect with Laura & Mommas Who Lead:
- Website: lauracaroffino.com
- Free Resources: lauracaroffino.com/resources
- Instagram: @lauracaroffino
- Apply to work with Laura: lauracaroffino.com
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Transcript
Juggling Responsibilities and Survival Mode
00:00:00
Speaker
ah You know that feeling when you wake up already exhausted, when your to-do list has a to-do list, when you're juggling five kids, running a business, managing a household, and you can't remember the last time you felt like you were actually winning the day instead of just surviving it.
00:00:17
Speaker
Yeah, me too. But what if I told you there is a way to move from chaos to clarity without adding more to your plate, without another productivity hack that doesn't work and without sacrificing things that matter most.
Introduction of Kendra Cook and Her New Launch
00:00:33
Speaker
Today, i am sitting down with a woman who has spent 30 years mastering the art of intentional living. She's a TEDx speaker, a bestselling author, and she just launched something that is going to transform the way you approach your days.
00:00:49
Speaker
So this is Mamas Who Lead, and I'm your host, Laura Carafino. So let's dive in. Welcome back to Mamas Who Lead, the podcast for faith-driven moms, mompreneurs, and women leaders who know they're made for more. If you're ready to grow a business, lead with confidence, and create lasting impact without losing yourself in the process, you're exactly where you need
From Chaos to Intentional Living
00:01:12
Speaker
to be.
00:01:12
Speaker
And today, today we're talking about something that I know is on every single one of your minds. It's how do we get out of survival mode and into a life that actually feels intentional? My guest today is Kendra Cook. And let me tell you, this woman is the real deal. She spent over 30 years building a successful real estate business. And she's been named Realtor of the Year.
00:01:35
Speaker
She's a TEDx speaker, a bestselling author of Embrace, and Empower, and Evolve.
Coaching Business Owners for 15 Years
00:01:40
Speaker
And for the past 15 years, she's been coaching business owners on how to eliminate chaos and build systems that actually work. Who doesn't need that in their lives? I know I do. But here's what I love most about Kendra. She's not just teaching theory. She's actually lived it.
00:01:56
Speaker
She's been in the trenches. She knows what it's like to feel pulled in a million different directions. And she's figured out how to create a life that's both productive and peaceful. Who doesn't need that?
00:02:08
Speaker
Sign
Launch of the Daily Well Planner
00:02:09
Speaker
me up. And she just launched the Daily Well Planner, a tool designed specifically for women like us who love a plan but hate pressure. So Kendra, welcome to Mamas Who Lead.
00:02:21
Speaker
Thank you so much, Laura. This is gonna be fun. I'm excited. It is, it is, So I am so excited you are
Kendra's Career Journey in Real Estate
00:02:30
Speaker
here. And i have to say when I was researching your story and what stood out to me was you started as a receptionist at a real estate company. um And then you went on and became like realtor of the year in that whole greater Nashville area.
00:02:49
Speaker
That doesn't happen by accident. How in the world did you make that happen? A lot of hard work, a lot of mistakes along the way, to be honest. But no, I was going to Nashville to from Southern Illinois to be a law student. And I was going to work at a theme park over the summer and all the jobs were gone. And so it was sink or swim. So I went to a temp agency and they placed me as a receptionist at a real estate office on the weekends. And the owner kept coming in saying, I see something and you you're really, really going to be a great realtor. And I'm like, I'm going to be an attorney. What are you talking about? And ah so he kept wearing me down. And finally, they met he and his wife made me a beautiful offer that I couldn't refuse. And um the rest is history. So I moved through that company really quickly. And they taught me, i mean, we were in a recession at that time. And so I learned about a REO properties and foreclosures. I just really had a master's degree when I decided to start selling. And um so I thought, well, this will be easy. The transition from admin work to sales business. how hard can it be? I've been doing this for seven years. It's a whole different bargain, straight commission, um you know, generating your own leads, converting your own leads. And so a lot of late nights, a lot of tears and, you know, come from the school of hard knocks is good. But um that's why I went into coaching. I was like, you know what? If I can shorten the learning curve of all the things that I did wrong and that nobody really helped me with, if I can give somebody a handout and help them up the ladder quicker, then I'm all about it. So it was a lot, lot, a lot, but I don't regret any of it. So many lessons learned and it it makes me be a better coach. now Oh, yeah, definitely. i i think, you know, we all learn from things and then we share to kind of shorten that gap for someone else and take the heartache from, you know, someone trial and error, you know. um
00:04:46
Speaker
But let's start back at the the beginning, those early days. What was, if do you remember, like, was there any moment when you realized, okay, I need to do something different um i can't You mentioned something about like you know going through some hard hard times. like was you know Was there anything that um that that was a pivotal moment for you during that time?
00:05:07
Speaker
hundred
Personal Overworking Story and Transformation
00:05:08
Speaker
percent. So for me, i had mom guilt, right? When I was at work, I felt like I should be at home. And when I was at home, I should be at work taking care of the clients. And so there was this dilemma. And so i always say, I don't really know where this idea came from, but I was driving home one night and um this little devil on my shoulder said, you know, everybody in your house sleeps really like a rock. So when everybody goes to sleep, you can just sneak out and go back to your office.
00:05:36
Speaker
And I did that. And I did it for a long time, which meant that I was not healthy. i was not happy. i was not sleeping. I was not taking care of myself. And so um i got busted by my husband. And um how it happened was a police officer would come by. that was our neighbor that I sold him his house. And he would come by and check on me when I was in the office building, shine his light on in the window. And I give him a thumbs up and he would drive on and I would be in my pajamas, mind you, two, three, four o'clock in the morning. And you know what I realized when I got busted from my husband, at first I was a little angry. um You know, I'm doing this for our family. Why are you so mad? But he, it came from a sense of, I care about you and something's going to happen in the middle of the night. You're going to fall asleep behind the wheel, you know, all of these things. And so that was really a pivotal moment for me when I realized, you know what,
00:06:25
Speaker
I'm a really good salesperson. I'm not a really good operations sales, operations systems person. And so he gave me an ultimatum. You got to figure it out or else. And I prayed about it, got on my knees. And within a couple of weeks, I was in an event in a room and they say the size of the room and the people in the room, the quality of the room really changes your life. And it did. And so for me, I kept telling them,
00:06:49
Speaker
um A, I can't afford to do to this. And my husband's telling me I cannot afford to do this. They're too much at risk, right? And the second thing was I kept telling him I have a time management issue. I just need help with you know some systems and some structure. And the more we dug in, what we really realized is I had a money problem.
00:07:06
Speaker
I didn't have a time management problem. And so you mentioned I'm a TEDx speaker. That's what my TEDx talk is about. It's for women entrepreneurs ah to get right and real and raw with your finances. Because you know what? I was a great salesperson, but I was not a great money person. And we don't know what we don't know.
00:07:24
Speaker
Right. so um those were probably two of my biggest breakthroughs, you know, at that
Vulnerability and Personal Growth
00:07:31
Speaker
hardest time. And once you're vulnerable and you're really ready to receive, the teacher will appear. Right. And so um I took on a coach and really couldn't afford to do it, but couldn't afford not to And everything changed. It was like, I will tell you this. I was not a great student at first. Yeah.
00:07:50
Speaker
I'm like, wait, I can't stop going this way and do it your way. got to keep going. I got to keep feeding my family. And so I was paying for coaching and not really getting what I should be getting out of it. And so finally, at one point in time, I just had a breakdown. And a breakthrough. And I was like, I've got to surrender, which is ah a tough word for us as believers. Right. And as women. um But I surrendered to their process. I said, OK, I'm going to give it my all. And man, what a life changing experience.
00:08:21
Speaker
yes Oh my goodness, that is. And, you know, I love that because I think so many of us have that moment, that, that breaking point where we realize like something has to change or we're just not going to go forward. Right. And you, you've, you you were talking a little bit from what I can tell, you know, eliminating the chaos, creating kind of a structure, if
Systems for Clarity and Freedom
00:08:43
Speaker
you will. And, um,
00:08:45
Speaker
But I think when people hear, when they talk about systems and structures, they kind of think that it's going to be um rigid or overwhelming, especially when it comes to money, too, because you kind you need this system in place, a budget or you know, however you're going to manage your finances. um So could you break that down for us? Like, what does it actually mean to eliminate like chaos? And what does structure look like now that you've you figured this out in real life? Question. So systems and structure. systems usually does feel very overwhelming, right? Oh my gosh, I have to follow a process step-by-step. And for me, you know, as an independent contractor, I wanted to be a mom when I wanted to be a mom and I wanted to have flexibility. And so when they started saying systems and structure, I was like, wait, I don't want to clock in at eight and leave at six and, you know, be regimented. I became a salesperson, so I'd have flexibility. And that's not what system and structure is. System and structure is
00:09:42
Speaker
um first and foremost, create a system that fits into your world, right? So for me at that time, I wasn't able to work out. i had a small kid at home. And so what I figured out is I'm not healthy. I'm not taking care of myself. i can't pour from an empty cup. So I'm going to have to get up a little bit earlier. So that was the system I put in place. I was willing to get up a little bit earlier to get my health in check to be a better example for my kid, right? And so when we think about systems and structure, it can be as many as two steps or it can be 200, right? I simplified the money, excuse me, process by doing a Friday check-in meeting with myself called Financial Friday. And so on Friday, I look at my debit card, you know, my statement on my app and make sure that, hey, i have money coming in. i haven't gotten out of whack, no crazy stuff.
00:10:30
Speaker
Thing is going to happen. And it's just a reset for me. it gives me peace not to have anxiety around money. Right. Women have a hard time about talking about money. We weren't taught um early on to have systems and structure. And it was a faux pas. We didn't talk about it in my generation at home. And so what I wanted to do was change that. And so for myself, when I realized I had a money problem, put some steps in place for accountability. So every Friday, I just check in with myself. Hey, what money came in this week? What money went out? Am I good to go? Is this making sense? You know, and simplify the process. So yes, I think when we talk about surrender and systems and structure, we think it's caging us n But honestly, most of us love a checklist. Let's be honest. We're busy. um And if you give me a checklist, I love to check the boxes and then celebrate. i always say that nobody's standing at my door to high five me at night when I've completed everything on my test list. So guess what? We get to high five ourselves, right? It's like, yes.
00:11:31
Speaker
Wins today. i followed my checklist. I mean, I have my daily well sitting right here with my to do list on it. And we've got little circles so you can check those little boxes and you're like, woho I won the day.
00:11:43
Speaker
So I think that's the difference in not being overwhelmed by it. Oh my gosh, I absolutely love that. day And I love how that you said it's such an important, like, you know, kind of reframe, like how the way you're thinking about structure, you know, is it going to box you in? And, but it's actually going to give you more freedom. And um you're going to celebrate. i like I'm a big celebration person too. So when I check off the boxes, I'm like, okay, but I did get in a habit, like, okay, If I was i completed something, I'm like, okay I can go get that coffee I want this weekend or something. a little little small win for myself or little reward, if you will. Now, you've worked with hundreds of business owners over the years. What are some of the biggest mistakes you see women making when it comes to productivity and planning?
Common Productivity Mistakes
00:12:33
Speaker
Oh, goodness, there's a lot. So productivity for us, I will tell you, I like to speak for myself. I use myself as an example all the time because I'm pretty sure I've made every mistake that's out there. If not, I'm coming close, right? As I said, I come from the school of hard knocks. But for me, um I think, you know, when it comes to production is we don't want to relinquish. We don't want to delegate.
00:12:57
Speaker
Because we have a little bit of ego, right? And so for me, it was, gosh, they my clients only want to talk to me. um I'm the best salesperson on the team. My name's on the sign. they They really called to speak to me. So I had a very hard time of delegating things. And, you know, I realized that before I got into coaching that and that's why I thought it was a time management issue. And along with money, delegation becomes a real issue for us when it comes to productivity. And so we really struggle with outsourcing things because we think that they won't do it as good as us or whatever. You know, the client only want to talk to us. And that's really ego. And that's not disrespectful. We all need a little bit of ego to survive this world that we're in. But what I will tell you is I teach people, if the person can do your task 70 to 80% as good as you, let it go. There is no perfectionist in the world. We all try to be perfectionists, but there aren't any. So we need to relinquish the things that don't,
00:14:01
Speaker
give us the highest and best use of our time and our energy and our finances and outsource those. And, you know, looking back 30 years ago, 25 years ago, there was no apps, there was no cell phone, there was no AI. And so for me to think about how far we've come and that we can outsource so much more now at a very minimal cost, if anything. I mean, I'll be honest and say today i created a PowerPoint that I'm speaking at a women's empowerment event. um And I was kind of stuck in my head and I put it in chat and I'm like, holy cow, this is way better than anything I would have came up with. Now I'm not going to word for word use it, but I was just stuck on a couple of little things. And I'm like, it's $25 a month. And I kind of have an assistant, right, helping me work through those things. So I think ego gets in our way when it comes to productivity. um i think delegation is also a big one. And then perfectionism. So I kind of hit on all three of those in that scenario. I think you hit that really, really on the nail there with the ego, because I too struggle with handing things over. um i like to, I tell my husband, I'm just a control freak. I can do it better. But instead of getting handed it to someone else, right? But that doesn't mean...
00:15:14
Speaker
that it's good for me to do that. Like I need to let it go and let someone else handle it. That was a big lesson for me that I needed to learn over the years.
00:15:24
Speaker
Okay, so let's get tactic tactical for a second. um If someone's listening right now, and they're thinking, okay, Kendra, I am drowning. i don't know where to start. What's the first step? What's one thing they should do today to start moving from chaos to clarity? I love that question.
Task Prioritization for Clarity
00:15:42
Speaker
Make a list of all your jobs, everything.
00:15:45
Speaker
Like I'm the breakfast maker, the mom, I get my kids ready. I answer the phone. I you know have construction workers in my house, whatever it is. And if you work outside the home, what are all of those jobs?
00:15:56
Speaker
Right. And so then we need to go back and prioritize what has to be done today and what can be moved to a project list. I am the queen of lists. I cannot help it. I love to-do lists. I love project lists. But you know when I'm focused on my to-do lists and the projects are on a different list, I don't worry about the projects, right? And so I think for me is we've got to separate what are our have-tos, what are our non-negotiables,
00:16:24
Speaker
And what are our projects? And when you can really differentiate those three lists, have tos, non-negotiables projects. You know, ladies, we are overachievers and we think we're multitaskers and we want everything done right now.
00:16:39
Speaker
Right. And so I'm speaking about myself. And so the best thing I can do is move the projects off my head. off my to-do list because then I'm focused. I'm like, I got to do this. I got to do this. And some of those can wait, right? Some of those can be pushed out a couple weeks. Some of those may need to be delegated. That may be a spring project, but we put it on our to-do list. And the reason we create that chaos is we feel, going back to what we said, that sense of accomplishment. We haven't checked every box today. We haven't got the entire list done. So we're a failure.
00:17:10
Speaker
And so when I can separate those things out and say, this is my have to list. These are my main three jobs for my family, my work and myself. And I put those on the to do list. Right. My non-negotiables is I have to take care of myself first. Even if I get up a little bit early, I'm a journaler. I have to move my body. i do a sacred pause in the morning with God. Right.
00:17:31
Speaker
You know, what goes in the bucket comes up in the, arm I'm sorry, what goes in the well comes up in the bucket. So what you're putting in your body. So I have to service myself first. That's my real big non-negotiable. And then when i get those two things under wraps, then I can go to the projects.
00:17:46
Speaker
I absolutely love that. And I think it's so doable. And I mean, it's not like it's a massive overhaul. It's just one intentional step. And it's so easy to do. Just list your jobs um and then go from there. i I love that. That's such good advice.
Features of the Daily Well Planner
00:18:03
Speaker
Okay. So now let's talk about the Daily Well Planner because I know our listeners are going to want this and I have mine. So, um,
00:18:14
Speaker
I know that everybody's going to want all the details. So first off, congratulations on this launch. This is, it's so beautiful. It is so well done. and This is, it's an amazing tool and i can tell it was created with so much intention. So tell us what is this beautiful little planner here and why did you create it?
00:18:35
Speaker
So just a quick backstory. Once I got crystal clear on organization and systems and structure, I'm like, everybody needs this. And so my life is ran in a notebook. Okay. So I have a journaling notebook. I have, you know, my daily, my, my gratitude journal. I have whatever devotional I'm reading or my Bible study. I mean, I have all these books. So for the last several years, I've been traveling and speaking. And so when I leave My husband always says, Kendra, your carry-on book bag weighs more than your luggage that have your clothes And I'm like, I have to take all my things. Like I have to have all the books. And so on my 10-year vision, I've had a goal that I really wanted to create something like this. And i host women's empowerment retreats. And so... last March, um one of the young ladies at my retreat, at the end of the retreat, she stood up and she said, listen, crystal clear leaving here. I'm going to go home and create my planner that I've had on my to-do list. And I looked at her, I was like, oh, we should talk. That's on my list too. And so within a couple of weeks, we were on the phone. We're like, I want this. And she's like, and I want this. And I want that. And before you knew it, we started collaborating. And so my business partner, Julie Davis and I created the Daily Well at the end of, well, late summer, early fall last year. And we're so excited that we got to release it in October. But it is a all things ladies planner. So we start out in in the front page and introducing ourselves and the intention behind it was just to simplify our lives, right? And to give ladies a place to do all things in one notebook. If you travel, if you work outside the home, if you want to take it to the coffee shop, it is a spiral like a notebook. So it's flat.
00:20:12
Speaker
You can write on both sides of the pages, which is phenomenal. We gave you a place to really set intentional goals with action items to get started using it. um There's also, because I mentioned earlier, i'm very passionate about financial literacy for women. Whether you work inside the home or not, I just think that that is such an advantage when we have some control so around our finances and some peace, because usually money is a hard and fearful conversation. So I walk you through how to do a really easy path to prosperity in there. And then you go into your daily well, your weekly. ah There's a weekly and a glance. I use that for my prayer journal. When I tell people I will pray for them, I write it on that page on the morning. My quiet time, I can open and see all the people I'm praying for. There is a month at a glance. And then there's the daily sheet. And it starts with your start strong mornings. And so we want you to start really strong with your hydration, your vitamins, your sacred pause, your gratitude journal. And you can log all that. goes back to those celebrations. Listen, we've got so much coming at us all the time that we forget to celebrate. And when i again, when I can check a box, I'm like, hey, high five yourself. ah you're You're on the right path. And then it goes through your workflow. We start at five in the morning. It goes till seven at night.
00:21:27
Speaker
There is a place at the bottom for power moves. If you want to really challenge yourself, something you want to do today to really move the needle. There's also a reflect and reset place. That's where I journal. That's kind of my gratitude. You could do reflection at night, gratitude in the morning. Then your get it done, which is your to do list. And the bottom corner is quick thoughts. If I just need to say, hey, don't forget to run barra by a birthday card or you know mail the package or whatever. And so you get the opportunity to be intentional about your day set yourself up for success. And then to close it out in the very back, we put about 20, 25 pages of line note pages with an index page.
00:22:03
Speaker
So my goal was to eliminate notebooks and write everything in this book for six months. And then it has a shelf life. And I use the index page to go back and say, hey, my meeting with Laura for the webinar or the the podcast was on this date. And I have the notes where you and I met. And so if I needed to reference them, I could go back to them, look right on the index page and see what page those notes are on. So ah super intentional. Hopefully it's simple to use. We give you the directions and then it's only six months. So it's lightweight. It's easy to carry. And so each six months, you'll get a reminder once you buy one and put your email address in there. We will remind you that it's time to order your next one when they come out.
00:22:42
Speaker
Oh my goodness. That is so amazing. You've thought of everything. And I think that's really what sets that at this planner apart is that it's not just productivity. It's really about creating a life that feels good and not just looks good. And it's all in one. You don't have to have, because i used to, I mean, i care. i had all these little notebooks, like so many notebooks, like I have them everywhere, like little notebooks. And now I'm doing this. so And I just got mine. i just got mine. So i'm I've been playing with it. I absolutely love it. So when you created this, who did you envision this was for exactly?
00:23:20
Speaker
Women, just women. That was our full intention. My business partner, Julie, she's like, I've got a journal for this. I got a money journal for that. I've got a Bible study notebook. And so just women in general, just because we wear so many hats, a lot of us take care of our finances, um A lot of us run a business. a lot of us run a household.
00:23:40
Speaker
Maybe we have some goals with really big aspirations that we need to set. And so it was like, it's for anybody. I mean, you know it could be the stay-at-home mom that's just trying to get her kids out of the door four days a week on time. It doesn't matter where you work or what what your primary role is, it works for everybody. And so we really, you know, we've had so many men calls and be like, really, you couldn't put a red cover on it so we could use it too. But that even, you know, quite honestly, the cover I was pretty adamant about the color would be purple because ladies are royal and the color in the Bible of royalty is purple. We love the gold laminate of the word on there. We use it as the daily well because we want to go to the well, whether it's scripture or Affirmations or gratitude every morning. We just felt like if we could put really good things in place for our systems and structure, but also for our hearts and our souls and our head, it just makes us a better human. So that was really all the intention that went behind it.
00:24:40
Speaker
I love it. It is. It's beautiful. um I love the purple and the gold. it's really, it is royal looking. I want to talk about the format. You did the six month, right? And so why did you choose that timeframe specifically instead of like a full year? Was it just like the weight of it or Yeah, you know, a lot of the things that Julie and I had used in the past were three months. They were like quarters. And I felt like that was too short. We didn't want people to be ordering things all the time. And then because they're full pages in there for your flow and we wanted the note pages and we wanted all the extra things, it's about 300 pages. So kind of like a five subject notebook. So it's manageable to travel with. It's not super heavy. um You know, it is a little more costly to do this spiral, but we wanted people to be able to flip it from page to page for it to lay flat and really work on it. And so, you know, the six months just felt right and manageable for people who travel or want to take it with them everywhere they go.
00:25:41
Speaker
i I love that. And I love the spiral because i I've had, i don't like the other ones that are just open flat. I want the spiral. I want to be able to hold it like this and right with it. So I think you did a perfect choice, chose a perfect binding for this. Now, what do you say to the person who it says, I've tried planners before, but they never really worked for me. I start strong and then they kind of fall off. What would you say to that person?
00:26:09
Speaker
Start where you are. my My friend, Julie, my business partner, she cuts a lot of videos and she's like, hey, we're in the middle of January. And you're like, oh, it's too late to start. It's never too late to start. Right. And remember, once you do it seven times, it becomes a habit.
00:26:23
Speaker
Seven to 12. Right. So I just take mine with me when i'm I have a home office. I work here at home. And in the evenings, I go ahead and build out my day for the next day. So I look at my electronic calendar and I see what I have and I fill it out and I take it to the kitchen counter. So when I get up in the morning and I'm getting my coffee, I'm like, Hey, I've got to be ready to get on a podcast at 10 or I've got to be able to go to a photo shoot 11 or whatever. And so it just moves with me when I travel. It's the same thing. It's the first thing I pull out of my bag. I put it on the desk in the hotel or wherever I'm going um We also have a house in Nashville. So, you know, we travel back and forth. And so it's just forethought and planning, right? You got to keep it with you until it becomes a habit. And if you miss a day, give yourself a little grace. None of us are perfect. So just start where you are. That's what I would tell them.
00:27:13
Speaker
I absolutely love that. to Start where you are. Some women have faced big challenges when it comes to planning and productivity.
Determining Life's True Purpose
00:27:23
Speaker
And like for the first one i want to tackle is how do you figure out actually what actually matters? Because I think a lot of us are, you know, really busy, but we're not always busy with the right things. you know That's a good question. Yeah.
00:27:41
Speaker
I would tell you you know, we talk about why we talk about purpose. i want to talk about energy. I mean, I think why is really important. Why do we do what we do? i think, you know, having a purpose driven life, probably most people listening to this have read that book. um And I think it's super important. But energy, what really feels? fuels you to be your best you. And so i think if you haven't figured that out, start journaling about it. I'm an avid journaler. The book I wrote of ah ah Embrace and Power Evolve is my memoir. And it is all about um creating the life you want by design, right? We have, as children lived in our parents' life and they kind of
00:28:23
Speaker
guided our life. And then maybe in your marriage, you've, you know, had children and and the partnership is guiding your life, but really take some time. Like, remember when you were doing something that you're like, I'm so fired up. I want to tell everybody about this, or this brings me the most joy. This is what keeps me up at night and really create, um A list of things that really bring you that energy and that joy, and you'll figure out your why. For me, um I've had different whys at different times in my life, right? I mean, when I... was in college and didn't last very long and took my first job. My why was survival. I just had to feed myself. I was single. i was in a bad relationship. It's like, I have to figure out how to get out of here. So it was survival, you know? And then I talk about this in my book. I started making a lot of money.
00:29:15
Speaker
And it was like, then I went through this why of keeping up with the Joneses, which was all wrong, but I lost myself. in that, um wildly successful and, you know, keeping up with other people and worrying about what they thought. And when my son moved to college and we sold our big house and I had an indoor yard salon, just did not price anything, just opened it up to our church members and our friends. And things are going out the door for pennies on the dollar. i was so mad at myself. I was so angry because that's when it really hit me that I'd created a life for somebody else to think that everything was perfect. And it wasn't, I wasn't.
00:29:51
Speaker
And it kind of like the house of cards came crumbling down. And so from that day forward, I was like, I'm going to figure out what fills my cup, what brings me joy. And so when I sold my brokerage, my husband, and I was offered a job at the coaching company that I went with when I was struggling. And they offered me an in-house career and said, listen, you know,
00:30:12
Speaker
nine to five traveling, changing lives. And I'd been coaching for them, but still running my real estate business. So my husband and I did a prayer and a fast after we had met with them and I was really dead set and I wasn't ready to leave real estate. And about a day and a half in, my husband said, you can keep fasting, but I'm going to eat. It's crystal clear to me. Your favorite day of the week is when you coach.
00:30:36
Speaker
You are lit up and fired up when you are changing lives. Nobody's going to stand over your grave and say, oh, she sold my house. You know, she she found the perfect house for me. He said, but what people are going to say is she saved my marriage. She led me to Christ. She fixed my money issue. She helped me with my kids. And he said, Kenner, that's your fire in your belly. That's your energy. And I was like, let's eat. He was right. And so from that day forward, I just said, everything I want to do is to change people's lives. And, you know, a lot of my students have surpassed all the money that I had made and all the accolades I'd had. And I rejoice in that. I'm like, I just want to celebrate with them. I'm not here to compete. I'm here to collaborate. I'm not, you know, I'm not here for the chaos. Let me help you find the clarity. And if I can shorten your learning curve and help you create the life you want by design, sign me up. That's where I am in my life.
00:31:27
Speaker
Oh, my gosh. that I was getting goosebumps talking because I can see you're like lighting up whenever you start talking about that. Now, you've mentioned you were you hit some low points, right? And let's say that somebody is listening here. They're going through...
00:31:43
Speaker
maybe one of the hardest times of their lives, they were um super successful at one point made a lot of money. um They didn't manage the finances maybe very well. Maybe they're going through a bankruptcy. What would you say to them right now listening? And they might feel like out of hope.
00:32:01
Speaker
I would say, start by giving yourself some grace. We're all human. And, you know, the whole Bible is written on forgiveness and, um we tend to forgive other people so much easier than we forgive ourself. And I would just say, start there, like really praying about forgiving yourself um and stop beating yourself up because none of us are perfect. yeah If you really want to read some raw and real stories, you know, listen to my book. I actually narrate it so you can get it on audible for think like a dollar or something, um or you can buy it. And at the end of each chapters, I really dig in and make you ask yourself some pretty hard questions about limiting beliefs and forgiveness and,
Self-Forgiveness and Journaling
00:32:44
Speaker
overcoming. And because I quite honestly am speaking to my earlier self when I say these things.
00:32:51
Speaker
um I came from a broken home. I moved, you know, 21, 20 times in 18 years. um I was not accepted in school. I was not the popular girl. I mean, I've had it all. I've had the height of the career. I almost lost it all. We're one bad month away from bankruptcy when I finally got into coaching. So,
00:33:10
Speaker
I have been in your shoes and I can just tell you the healing starts when you forgive yourself. But i will also tell you it was hard to figure out who was judging me and who was my friends and who wasn't. And I turned to journaling really at an early, early young age. And that was my safe space. So if you're not a journaler, pick up a notebook, just start writing your thoughts, good, bad, asking for forgiveness,
00:33:36
Speaker
prayers, you know, it could be, dang, my hair looks good today. I mean, sometimes that was the only thing that I could get up and get dressed and get out the door and say to myself, right? But your journal is for your eyes only. There's no judgment.
00:33:48
Speaker
There's no criticism. um It's for you, for you to put your thoughts and your beliefs and your forgiveness and your prayers down And just hold those things really sacred. When I wrote my book, I was talking to my publisher and she said to me, gosh, you're such an avid journaler. All these stories came out of my journals. And she said, i think you should marry your passion. That was so healing for you. And so that's how that came to fruition. So if you're struggling, just start writing. Just really pour your heart out. But first and foremost, forgive yourself because you've been forgiven.
00:34:26
Speaker
I love that. And there's a place to journal in the daily well as the well. And I love that you just put, you've incorporated everything. Now, what are some of the mindset shifts that women have there, or they need to make in order to move forward, to be, um, to set the systems up, right. To get in a good head space where things, where they can see things are improving.
00:34:51
Speaker
Yeah.
Mindset Shift: Scarcity to Abundance
00:34:52
Speaker
So I always say there's two mindsets when I speak to groups. I always say there's the scarcity mindset and there's the abundance mindset. And usually we stay in scarcity when we're fearful, when things aren't going our way, when we have financial problems, there's chaos. And so how quickly can you move from that scarcity mindset to to get yourself into the abundance mindset. And all the tools that we've talked about today is how you get there faster, writing your thoughts down so they're not a distraction during the day. Because remember, when you get up and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm a failure. Oh my gosh, my hair looks terrible. Oh my gosh, my kids are a mess. You know, I don't have groceries, whatever that is, then that's in your head all day.
00:35:34
Speaker
Right. And so that sends us into that scarcity all day. I'll never be good enough. I failed again. So if you can start your morning from an an attitude of gratitude, abundance, like, you know what? My hair looks great today.
00:35:48
Speaker
That's a positive thought you put in there. So start some small things, write yourself a quick little note. You look great today. You're a perfect mom, whatever you need in your mirror, in your car, somewhere. Because you have to get out of that scarcity mindset. That's a spiral. That's a distraction. It's a time suck, right? I mean, we get in our head and then we we're not productive. And if you really need to make money or you really need to go to work or you really need to take care of your kids, then you're struggling all day because of that mindset.
00:36:18
Speaker
So when we start switching over just simple tactics of I'm going to Take a 10 minute pause in the morning. I'm going to write in my journal for five minutes. You start switching things into that abundance mindset. Now we're not distracted during the day. We can start being on purpose. We can be, um,
00:36:36
Speaker
You know, with with the systems and structure, you have a plan, you have your purpose, and you're coming from a mindset of abundance instead of scarcity, and you're not distracted through the day. You got to start chalking up some wins. and The ladies that I coach, we work out of the daily well. And so the very first day of coaching, I make them go to the back note page, the first note page in the back of the book, and write many victories.
00:36:59
Speaker
And throughout the day when they have a mini victory, they have to write that down. And the reason is, is because there's going to be a day you're like, I have nothing to be excited for. I'm a failure. I stink.
00:37:11
Speaker
I so um send them to that page. Look at all these wins you've had. celebrate these things. I lost a pound. I landed a big client. I picked my kids up on time. My, you know, meringue on my pie was amazing. Whatever it is, start stacking up some wins. So it's easier and quicker for you to get out of scarcity and into abundance.
00:37:31
Speaker
o I love that. And that's so easy to do the break. And I love the tip to write it down in the back of the book as many wins and, um, reminding yourself so that when you are in that funk that you can go back and it's like, okay, I have done something. yeah Now, before we, you, you got to this stage and you're starting, did you, so did you start whenever you had children, when you started working, how did you do that with the kids and Oh, goodness. So I have a 27-year-old son, my husband i do, and then he has 30-year-old daughter. She's mine too. I say i have two kids, but we had our son. He's been there since day one. So um i was still an assistant when i found out I was pregnant and I had a very, very rough pregnancy. And so I left my job and went home and we went from two income to one. And so we had to rely on that partnership and learned a lot of lessons pretty early on. um
00:38:31
Speaker
And so You figure out how to make some sacrifices. So for me, because it was sales and my husband was in sales at the time, we would base our appointments around each other. So our son didn't really go to a daycare or anything until he was about two and a half, three years old. And he stayed at a lady's house on our street. She kept one other little kid. and um But I would say, i have appointments from 10 to 12 and he's like, okay, well I'll take the one to three shift. And we just had to figure it out. And you know we made so many mistakes. Like I said earlier, I was sneaking out of bed at night. i was having a hard time. And I'll be honest. I mean, I was a realtor of the year. You mentioned that earlier. i was top salesperson like month after month. And so you do get a little addicted to the, oh my gosh, everybody wants to be the next Kendra Cook. And you know what? There's already one of me and I'm not perfect. So that was a bad idea on their part, but it fed my ego, quite honestly, going back to the ego. And so there were times I was like, no,
00:39:28
Speaker
I have this appointment and it's way more important, you know, and I was very selfish. And so, listen, our marriage was a struggle multiple times throughout. the We've been together 30 years now. So um but yeah, I mean, we had some we had some battles. We had some rough rides. Um, and then by the grace of God, as my business really picked up and I talk about this in the book, unfortunately, my husband's company phased out the sales department and we were at a place that my husband could stay home. And so he came to work for me, but again, i mean, he had a life too. And it wasn't, it wasn't fair for me to always say, well, you're always available. I can go do what I want. So we still have those struggles. Um, but yeah it's a give and take. It is, um,
00:40:10
Speaker
I tell ladies that I coach now that have small kids, that window of your time with them is so small and it goes by so fast that really think about your main three jobs.
00:40:24
Speaker
Do those main three jobs really well while your kids are little. And we can add to that. I could not travel like I travel now if I had kids, you know, I travel and speak and um do podcasts and all that kind of stuff. I couldn't have done that when my kids were a little, no way. um So there are seasons for different things. So it doesn't mean no forever, whatever you're pursuing. It just made me know, not right now. So you got to do some things that move the needle now and pay the bills and But just know that you're creating a life by doing these steps to get to that dream goal. And you will get there. But I will not tell you it won't be without a struggle.
00:41:02
Speaker
Rely on your tribe. if you've got family members, friends that can share, you know, babysitting duties. We do a lot of meal prep still to this day, you know, just because I do travel a lot and there's stuff in our freezer i can pull out if I get home and things like that. So the habits that you create now will follow you throughout the rest of your life. But just know that you it's OK not to do it all. And it is OK to buy Publix cupcakes just so you know. Yeah. You know, I was that mom for a long time. No, we have to bake them and I have to ice them and I have to sprinkle them. And finally, one of my coaches was like, you know, Publix sells cupcakes and you're not going to be notified as the bad mom. Take them out, put them on a platter and show up. They don't have to come in the tent. I was like, done. I have a party to plan next weekend. So I'm buying the Publix cupcakes. Go girl. It okay. It it is ok I love it. Like giving them permission. um i absolutely love that.
00:41:59
Speaker
you know if You know, this conversation has been so good. um What if somebody wants to get started in real estate? Like, you know, mom, got the kids at home. What do you recommend?
Advice for Starting in Real Estate
00:42:10
Speaker
Yeah, you can take ah in most states, depending on what state you're in, you can take your classes online um and then go set for your state exam. I know in Tennessee where my license are still active, that's you can do that now. um But I will tell you, you know.
00:42:26
Speaker
If you're looking for a career, real estate is really hard to do part time, you know, because you have to work when your clients need you to work. um It is OK to have some boundaries like, you know, I work these days and I take this day off. That is OK. But just know that, you know, you have a lot of competition. You do have to plant a lot of seeds.
00:42:44
Speaker
You have to make a lot of calls. Um, there is a lot of rejection, but I will tell you it's in my blood. i didn't know it was in my blood. i absolutely love it. I love watching men and women really just do it and do it well. The best thing I can tell you is real real estate is all about relationships.
00:43:03
Speaker
So if you love people, it's a perfect place to be. um If you don't love people, it's a tough place to be. But um you can set your own hours. You can make as much money as you want. You're an independent contractor. So nobody can say this is your cap. This is all the money you can make. um It's a hard, hard career, but it's so worth it. I love everything about it.
00:43:27
Speaker
You've done it very well. Okay. Okay. For this next part, i'm I'm going to switch gears for a minute and do quick, good quick, rapid fire questions. Let's do it. Okay. They're going to be fun. Okay.
00:43:41
Speaker
Morning person or night owl? Morning person. Coffee or tea? Coffee baby. but What's your favorite productivity to hack? Productivity hack.
00:43:55
Speaker
Eat the elephant first, like make the biggest calls first thing in the morning. Cause I'm a morning person. So make the big calls, the hard calls first thing in the morning. Oh, so good. Okay. What's one book that changed your life? The Bible. But in addition to that protect your peace, most recently I read that by Trent Shelton really talks about, you know, isolating yourself and it is okay to protect your own peace.
00:44:16
Speaker
love it. Okay. Best advice that you've ever received.
00:44:23
Speaker
Best advice I've ever received. Bet on yourself. o um What's one thing you wish you known before you started your business or when you started? How to balance a checkbook, how to use a credit card, how to do a profit and loss, not to be fearful of money, really.
00:44:42
Speaker
mother I'm with you there. Okay. If you could go back and tell your younger 25 year old self one thing, what would it be? Oh, I just gone through a really nasty divorce. I would tell myself you will be loved again.
00:44:58
Speaker
um that's so good. Okay.
Empowerment and Personal Agency
00:45:00
Speaker
Last one. And this is a big one. What's one thing you want every woman listening to take away from this conversation? You can create the life you want.
00:45:10
Speaker
It won't be without some heartache and some headache and some heartburn and some all nighters, but man, nobody can create your future for you. you get to create that future.
00:45:21
Speaker
Oh, I love that. Okay. Kendra, this has been so good. and I know our listeners are going to walk away with this episode, feeling encouraged, equipped, and ready to take action. But before we wrap up, um, I just want to make sure everyone knows where they can find you and how they can get their hands on the daily well planner. So tell us where can people connect with you?
00:45:42
Speaker
Okay. So, um, my website, Kendra cook.com cook has an E at the end. So you can buy the planner. You can buy my book. You can see about my retreats, my speaking schedules on there. I'm also on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, just my name. Super easy to find.
00:45:57
Speaker
Okay, perfect. And I'll have everything here in the show notes too. So don't worry if you were driving, listening to this, you can just come back and check the show notes and it's going to there for you. All right. So I also want to talk about your book, Embrace and Power Evolve, because I know that's been such a powerful research resource for so many women.
00:46:16
Speaker
Can you just give us a quick 30 second overview of what that book is about? Yeah, it is just about trials and tribulations and how to overcome them and how to really dig into yourself to create the life that you want by design. i think we have to embrace change. We have to empower ourselves to grow and we have to evolve into our true self.
00:46:36
Speaker
I absolutely love that. And i will make sure the link for that book is in the show notes as well. And just thank you so much for being here. This conversation has been ah so good and i think it's going to bless so many women that are listening. Before we sign off here, Kendra, do you have anything else you'd love to share with our audience before we sign off?
00:46:56
Speaker
No, I just thank you for listening and thank you for providing a platform for us mamas to come and be raw and real and to help others. Because at the end of the day, we're just helping each other get through life. And I'm just grateful to be a part of your tribe and your community. Thank you.
00:47:10
Speaker
Thank you So much for being here. And if this conversation resonated with you, i want you to do me a favor. Share this episode with one friend, just one one who needs it. And maybe it's the friend who's always saying she's overwhelmed, or maybe it's the friend who's trying to do all things Do it all and just burning out. Send her this episode and let her know she's not alone. And if you haven't already, make sure you subscribe to Mamas Who Lead so that you never miss an episode. We drop new episodes every week. And trust me, you don't want to miss what this is coming what's coming. Also, if you want to go deeper, join our exclusive community, The Leaders Lounge. And this is where conversations will continue and collaborations form. And one more thing, if you're serious about building a business that aligns with your values and creates a life you've always dreamed of, I have more resources for you, go ahead and head over to lauracarafino.com and check out my programs and the podcast as well. All right, mama, you were made for more. You don't have to choose between ambition and peace. You don't have to sacrifice your family to build a business and you don't have to do it alone. We're here with you. Until next time, keep leading, keep believing in what is possible.