Transcript
Speaker: Hi, beautiful leaders. Welcome back to Mama Sue Lead. I'm your host, Laura Carafino. And if you're faith-driven mama who knows she's made for more, you're in exactly the right place.
Speaker: So today we're talking about something that literally changed my business, my family life, and my sanity. And it's probably not what you think.
Speaker: We're talking about the power of your no and why it might be the most important leadership skill you're not using. So picture this, it's 10 p.m.
Speaker: I'm finally getting the kids to bed. My phone is like buzzing and you know pinging with opportunities, if you will. Maybe a speaking engagement, a collaboration request, a coffee meeting.
Speaker: um you know Somebody says I need to get on the phone with them right now because I need to close them or I'm gonna lose them forever. And I am thinking, is good, right?
Speaker: People will want to work with me. this is all great, right? But here's what was happening. i was saying yes to everything because I thought that's what good leaders do.
Speaker: We show up, we serve, we say yes. But I was drowning. My family was getting my leftovers, my business was scattered, and I was just exhausted.
Speaker: You know, and then one of my mentors asked me a question that stopped me. Laura, what are you saying no to when you say yes to everything else?
Speaker: And I'm like, wow, that hit differently. You know, because when I said yes to that meeting that didn't align with my vision, my mission, i was saying no to time with my kids.
Speaker: When I say yes to that collaboration, that kind of felt off brand, I was saying no to the clients who really needed what I offered. So here's what I learned. Your no isn't just a boundary, it's a leadership strategy.
Speaker: And as mamas who lead, we need to get comfortable with this truth.
Speaker: Your first no protects your yes. And every time you say no to something that doesn't align with your purpose, you're creating a space for those that do.
Speaker: So I started asking myself, does this move me closer to my mission of helping purpose-driven women build faith-filled businesses? If not, it's a big fat no for me. And that's hard to adapt, especially when I'm a recovering people pleaser.
Speaker: It is really, really hard. So if you're on that struggle bus, I get you. Just keep practicing and keep asking yourself, does this align with what I want to do? Who who am I really saying no to if I say yes to this?
Speaker: And that change of perspective was just... what I needed in order for me to more move forward and be purposeful in my business.
Speaker: So as you're going through and you're, you know, you, you know, your first no protects your yes. Your second, the second your no teaches others how to value you.
Speaker: Let me say that again.
Speaker: Your no teaches others how to value you.
Speaker: So when you say yes to everything else, you're training people that your time isn't valuable. But when you're selective, when you say that doesn't align with my current priorities, but here's what I can offer instead, you're showing them and yourself that your time matters.
Speaker: So you're no just you're no models healthy leadership for your children. That's so important. You're no models healthy leadership for your children. that Our kids are watching everything we do. They mimic everything we do.
Speaker: So when they see us overwhelmed and scattered, that's what they learned from that's what they learn leadership looks like and how they think they need to be in that like hustle culture or bending over for everybody basically and um you know prioritizing every one of above them but whenever they see us making intentional choices saying no to to good things so we can say yes to great things we're teaching them that boundaries aren't selfish
Speaker: They are actually necessary for leadership. So here is my simple framework. Before you say yes to anything, ask yourself these three questions. Does this align with my core mission?
Speaker: Do I have the capacity to do this excellently without sacrificing what matters most? And number three, am I saying yes from excitement or from guilt?
Speaker: That last one.
Speaker: Because I have said yes because of guilt for so on so many things. And that is hard. If you can't answer yes to the first two questions, and if you're saying yes from gro guilt, words are hard today.
Speaker: And if you're saying yes from guilt, that's your sign to pause. And sometimes that pause can be a while. i have been there.
Speaker: So here's your challenge this week. I want you to practice saying no to one thing. Maybe it's the volunteer opportunity that sounds nice, but doesn't really fit your your season that you're in right now.
Speaker: Maybe it's that coffee meeting that feels more like an obligation than an opportunity. and
Speaker: And i'm i'm goingnna here's a here's a way to you know do this gracefully. Thank you so much for thinking of me. This sounds absolutely wonderful, but it doesn't align with my current priorities right now.
Speaker: ah hope you find the perfect pur perfect person for this.
Speaker: You know, if they there's a coffee meeting and you don't want to attend, to be like, you know, I'm so sorry, I can't make it. i can't do this today. You don't really need to give an explanation. You don't have to tell them a reason, just that you can't.
Speaker: You know, there's no long explanation. There's no apology for having boundaries. It's just clear, kind no So remember, Mabie, you weren't called to do everything. You were called to do your thing excellently.
Speaker: Your no isn't a limitation. It's your superpower. It's how you protect your purpose, serve your family, and lead with intention.
Speaker: If this resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it. So share your biggest takeaway on social and tag me at Laura Carafino. And if you're ready to build a business that aligns with your values without sacrificing what matters most, check out my resources on lauracarafino.com.
Speaker: Until next time, keep leading, keep growing, and keep believing in what is possible. You've been listening to Mamas Who Lead with Laura Carafino. Thank you for joining us on this journey today.
Speaker: Each episode, each story, and every piece of advice we share is a step towards building a community of empowered, resilient, and inspiring mama leaders just like you.
Speaker: Remember leadership isn't just about the title or the workplace. It's about how we navigate our lives, uplift those around us, and pave the way for future generations. As we close today's episode, I encourage you to carry forward the insights and inspiration you've gained.
Speaker: Apply them to your life, share them with your tribe and continue to lead with heart and purpose. For more empowering stories, strategies and support, make sure you subscribe to Mamas Who Lead on your favorite podcast platform. And don't forget to follow us on social media for behind the scenes content.
Speaker: community discussions, and much more. Until we meet again, keep embracing your unique journey of leadership and motherhood. You are capable, you are powerful, and you are exactly where you're meant to be.
Speaker: Lead on mamas.
