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Finding Happy – a conversation with author Peter Samuelson
12 Plays4 days ago
Exploring a user's guide to your life, with lessons from the life lived by Peter Samuelson.
Peter Samuelson is a successful Oscar winning film producer and founder of seven not-for-profit organisations including the Starlight Children’s Foundation and First Star. Peter is also the author of Finding Happy.
In this episode of Rest and Recreation, the work life balance podcast from Abeceder Peter describes to host Michael Millward how his career in film started, and the influence that had on his passion for helping others.
Peter discusses the challenges of communicating with young people in general and especially young people who are disadvantaged in some way.
He then shares some of the stories from Finding Happy that he uses to explain the growing pains about assessing risks and increasing luck. Pater and Michael conclude their conversation by discussing the secret to living a happy life.
You can find more information about Peter Samuelson and Michael at ABECEDER.co.uk
Watch Michael in his feature film debut The Magician.
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Transcript
Introduction of Podcast and Guest
00:00:05
Speaker
on zencastr Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the work-life balance podcast from Abysida. I'm your host, Michael Millward, the managing director of Abysida.
Discussion on "Finding Happy"
00:00:19
Speaker
Today i am talking to film producer and charity founder Peter Samuelson about his book, Finding Happy, a user's guide to your life with lessons from mine.
00:00:32
Speaker
As the jingle at the start of this podcast says, rest and recreation is made on Zencastr because Zencastr is the all-in-one podcasting platform that really does make every stage of the podcast production process so easy.
00:00:48
Speaker
If you are or you want to be a podcaster, give Zencastr a try. Use the link to zencastr.com in the description. It has a built-in discount. Now that I have told you how wonderful Zencastr is for making podcasts, we should make one.
00:01:04
Speaker
One that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to. And probably also worth it sharing with your friends, your family and work colleagues as well.
00:01:16
Speaker
As with every episode of Rest and Recreation, we will not be telling you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think. Today's Rest
Peter's Film and Charity Background
00:01:25
Speaker
and Recreation guest is Peter Samuelson, the founder of FilmComedia.com and several charities and not-for-profits.
00:01:34
Speaker
He is the author of Finding Happy, a user's guide to your life with lessons from mine. During a career that spans decades, Peter has worked on a wide range of films. So starting at the beginning, he worked on Le Mans,
00:01:48
Speaker
with Steve McQueen. The Return of the Pink Panther film with Peter Sellers. More recently, he's worked on Wild, which starred Stephen Fry as Oscar Wilde. He was involved with the creation of Spotlight, a film which changed how sexual abuse of children is viewed and is currently working on a project called Sixty Vine, which looks at the challenging choices of influencer culture.
00:02:13
Speaker
Peter is based in Hollywood. I have been to Hollywood. No one made me a star, so I left. If I get a second chance to make it in Hollywood, I will be sure to utilize my membership of the Ultimate Travel Club so that I can pay trade prices on my flights, hotels, trains, package holidays and so many other travel related purchases.
00:02:33
Speaker
Because I am one of the good guys, I have included a link in the description to the Ultimate Travel Club which is a built-in discount so that you can become a member and also travel at trade prices.
00:02:44
Speaker
Until I do go to Hollywood, There's also a link in the description to my sole speaking role in a movie, The Magician. Now that I have paid some bills, it is time to make an episode of Rest and Recreation, and it is great to be able to say hello to Mr. Peter Samuelson. Hello, Peter.
00:03:01
Speaker
Hi there. Happy to be here. With all of those film work and the charity work going on, you must be a very busy man. So I do appreciate your time today. Please, could we start by you telling us a little bit about Filmco Media and the sort of work that you do and why you got involved in the film industry?
00:03:18
Speaker
Well,
Journey to Hollywood
00:03:19
Speaker
I was first in my family to go to university. I got my masters from Cambridge. I went up to Cambridge on a scholarship, but predominantly by studying medieval English literature,
00:03:33
Speaker
And when I came down from Cambridge, I looked around and realized that there was very little work for anybody in the UK. was This was back in the day of the coal miners strike. So I looked around and they were definitely not hiring anyone whose principal area of expertise was medieval English literature. I had always had since school, i had had good French.
00:04:00
Speaker
and I had been earning pocket money, if you like, doing interpreting and had flown all around France and Morocco and so forth. Right after leaving Cambridge, I made a motor racing film about the Monte Carlo rally where we started in Marrakesh in Morocco and we went up through Spain and all the way along the south of France as far as Monte Carlo.
00:04:28
Speaker
And at the end of it, the American producer said to me, do you want to come back to Hollywood, see how we edit? You don't know anything about how we do post-production on a film.
00:04:40
Speaker
And I said, well, can I ask you, would I earn money? Would I be able to afford to find somewhere to live? the great generosity of American people. He said, well, you absolutely would. We'd give you a salary. We'll get you a visa and the whole thing and your work in our production company.
00:04:59
Speaker
While you find your feet, you can have our guest room. And that was the beginning. And I never consciously emigrated anywhere. It just sort of happened several years in.
00:05:10
Speaker
i went ahead and got my green card. And then after that, I thought, you know, i'm paying tax here. i would like to vote here. And I went down, raised my right hand and became an American.
Charity Work and Giving Back
00:05:24
Speaker
And a great deal of the charity work that I've done, trying to use innovative entrepreneurship to address intractable large social challenges, a lot of that has been my payback. You know, i was one granted the American dream.
00:05:43
Speaker
They let me in. What is the American dream? Well, it's we don't really care about your parents too much. We care about you. Will you work hard? We'll get you educated. And we would like you to contribute to the American social and economic benefit. And, you know, if you do all of that,
00:06:01
Speaker
ah you'll build a happy, productive life. So that's what I've done really in two directions. I've made my two dozen and then some films in both countries because I go backwards and forwards between London and l LA. The other thread in my life is I stumbled originally just by happenstance into starting the Starlight Children's Foundation with Steven Spielberg.
00:06:29
Speaker
and then i went on from there to first star helping looked after kids foster kids and then edar everyone deserves a roof.org with my patented single user homeless shelter on wheels and i've actually you know i've founded seven non-profits charities which thank god are all alive and well That's my life. And I live in West l a on top of a mountain. i have a wife, I have four kids, i have three grandkids, and I ride my bicycle a lot when I need thinking time.
00:07:06
Speaker
It's a very happy life.
Purpose of Writing "Finding Happy"
00:07:08
Speaker
I decided to write the book because through First Star, where we work with teenage foster kids, I've done a huge amount of mentoring.
00:07:19
Speaker
And I realized at a certain point, kind of a couple of decades in, that I had pattern recognition because the same subjects would come up again and again with these teenage years, 10 through 13 kids in care.
00:07:35
Speaker
So I did a list and I said, oh, well, isn't that interesting? They're sort of like chapter headings. I could write the life hack book and help kids who don't have the benefit of parents.
00:07:48
Speaker
or frankly, any role model adult. I've made so many mistakes in my life and sometimes got it right as well. i And I thought I could write a kind of life hack how-to book where the bottom line is how to be happy, how to make your life into a platform where you find joy, happiness, and how to do that. And that is what the book is about. But there's ah also a lot of basic stuff that I think, although it may be for Gen Z, Gen Z, we would say over here, 15 25 old, I guess, is our core,
00:08:29
Speaker
I know because I get all the emails back. The publisher, Simon & Schuster, thought I was actually raving mad to put my email in the back of the book. They said, what will you do if you get thousands and thousands of emails? And I said, I don't know, I'll hire a team and we'll answer them.
00:08:44
Speaker
Haven't had thousands, but I've had hundreds and hundreds. And I know the book resonates. I think it's being used as a curriculum book. I also, with a friend, donated to First Star.
00:08:56
Speaker
And in both countries, we bought books. 700 copies of Finding Happy and donated them to the students of First Star, the kids in care who are in our First Star program. We have 16 of these partnerships with universities, four are in the yeah UK and 12 are in the United States.
00:09:18
Speaker
I feel as though its great blessing to have written the book. It helped me get my own act together and understand what I have learned in my life and work out and refine how to discuss it with young adults. Yeah.
Engaging Gen Z with Short Chapters
00:09:35
Speaker
So that's a long-winded answer to your question.
00:09:38
Speaker
But a very interesting answer about a very interesting book, very tactile book. I like um picking up books. I've got in my hand at the moment. It is a really good read. Every chapter finishes with learning points.
00:09:49
Speaker
It's like, this is what happened to me. And what happened to you is very often something that's to do with the production of a film. And there's lots of mention of famous people in the book, but it's, it's the stories of your interactions with them. And then what you've learned from that interaction.
00:10:07
Speaker
If I said it had got 52 chapters, people might think it's like it's a house brick type book. But the chapters are very short. They're very to the point. If what I'm told about Gen Z gen z people is that no attention span, it's an ideal chapter length for them.
00:10:24
Speaker
Was that one of the things that you had in mind when you wrote it? Yes, I think that's exactly right. The reason the chapters are short is first, oh author, understand your audience.
00:10:36
Speaker
If your audience is in their teens and twenties, everything is short form these days. Remember, my profession is narrative fiction. I make motion pictures, but I also make a slew of short-form videos, 60 seconds long, two minutes long, for TikTok and Instagram and Facebook and X. and You have to be very careful. If you write something long and boring, you will not read it. So you have to go where your audience is willing to hear you. And that's what I did. So as
Risk-Taking and Personal Stories
00:11:11
Speaker
one example...
00:11:12
Speaker
It's very, very important, especially when you're mentoring young men, adolescent 15 to 25 year old young men. The physiology of the human brain is there are two parts of the brain that determine what you do reacting to a circumstance. There is the the back of the brain and a little way down the top of your spinal column. And it's called the amygdala.
00:11:39
Speaker
And it is the primeval reptilian fight or flight. Oh, God, there's a saber tooth tiger. Do I run or do I fight it? um Nothing more complicated than that. And it leads you to react instantaneously to danger or challenge or opportunity.
00:11:59
Speaker
It's not very sophisticated. It's binary. Run or fight. But the front of your brain is the prefrontal lobe, and it is the chess game of life.
00:12:12
Speaker
It's the part of your brain that says, well, but if i run, i don't know that I can run faster than the tiger. Oh, wait a minute. My colleague's standing next to me.
00:12:24
Speaker
i don't have to run faster than the tiger. I've only got to run faster than him, and then he'll get eaten. And in other words, it's the chess game. which's It's hopefully how you think, you know, three and five and 10 moves ahead and try to anticipate consequences. Now, the thing is, young men do not have a developed prefrontal lobe until they get to their mid which is why they're operating on the back and they do so many things that with hindsight, they would think that was really stupid. Now I did a ton of them. I once came home to my parents' house at three o'clock in the morning at the age of, don't know, 18, 19. And I had forgotten to take my house keys and I couldn't get in, in the dark. I could just make out that
00:13:20
Speaker
the low wall, which then rose at an angle to the drain pipe. And I thought, you know, I think I could climb up there. I could crawl up the wall, avoiding the broken glass on top. I could shit up the drain pipe.
00:13:35
Speaker
And when I get up to the third floor, I maybe can find a way to inch along And I did, i with my toes only on a ah little row of bricks that stuck out maybe two inches from the wall. And I held on so as not to fall off by squeezing a brick in front of my chest and and going along the whole row of bricks holding on sort of by by the grout.
00:14:08
Speaker
And I went past the two locked windows and I got to the open window and I climbed in, in the dark, didn't fall off and i went to bed. In the morning, I got up and I was down in the back garden where right under that face of the house were flagstones.
00:14:28
Speaker
And I looked up and I thought, oh my good God, look at what i just did in the dark. I could so easily have either killed myself or ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I was so scared that I threw up in the bushes.
00:14:46
Speaker
I've used that in the book amongst other things. to try to explain to especially young men. I have no idea why, but young women don't take so many risks because their prefrontal lobe grows earlier. They get it in their mid-teens. The young men don't get it until their mid-20s. It's why who do we send into trench warfare today?
00:15:12
Speaker
it's not middle-aged men, because it was middle-aged men, they might well say to the Sergeant Major, you know, you you go ahead and shout back if you think it's safe.
00:15:24
Speaker
but If you send young men, especially if you do chanting with them, and if you give them a uniform and stop them applying critical thinking, they'll just jump out of the trench and run into the machine gun. ah What I've tried to do in that particular chapter, I've tried to make it short enough that young men will actually read it. And I've tried to, with the action points, at the i mean, what are the action points? um Well, what can you do realizing that you are not functioning on the front of your brain, you're functioning on the back? Well, the first thing is sleep on it.
00:16:03
Speaker
Another example I gave was that I sat in a an office in the Hotel Mamounia, which was on the Pink Panther film, and I decided I was behind on the accounting and I would pull an all-nighter. So there I sat on a high floor in this fairly spectacular hotel, and I'm sitting there and I'm doing the spreadsheet, and i hear a cat meowing.
00:16:30
Speaker
And I ignore it. And after about 20 minutes, I can't stand it anymore. So I follow my ears and the meowing is coming from what looks as though it's a cupboard in the wall of the bathroom because the office was actually a hotel room. We had the bed taken out and had a desk put in and so forth. So I go in and I open this double doors at waist level and it's not a window or a cupboard. It's a pipe duct.
00:16:59
Speaker
And I looked down and several floors, maybe be four floors lower, five floors lower, I see two little red dots and there is a kitten at the bottom of the pipe duct. And I thought, well, this is smelly and awful and disgusting. No one's been in there for 200 years since they built the building. I thought, well, I'm not i'm not having anything to do with it. Sorry, kitten. And i went back and I tried to carry on working on the spreadsheet.
00:17:29
Speaker
And then it wouldn't stop meowing. So I thought, okay, you know, screw it. I just have to do this. So without really thinking, I went in the bathroom. I stripped naked.
00:17:40
Speaker
i climbed into this sort of double door thing. And I
Importance of Organization and Preparation
00:17:45
Speaker
climbed without really much difficulty down the biggest of the drain pipes. I got to the bottom.
00:17:52
Speaker
The cat took one look at me and ran away sideways, never to be heard or seen again. And then I thought, oh, what a, I'm covered in,
00:18:05
Speaker
dirt and but then i realized oh I didn't really think this through I discovered I couldn't climb back up I didn't have the the the the pipes were slippery and I couldn't climb back up and I would get up you know 15 feet and then slip down 10 and then have a little rest and try again.
00:18:31
Speaker
And I ended up where i I, you know, at the bottom thinking, good Lord, I may die in a pipe duct in the bowels of the hotel Mamounia Marrakesh.
00:18:44
Speaker
And I thought this was really stupid. What am I going to do? and eventually, but it took me like two hours I did manage to climb back up by sort of wedging myself in, focusing on not falling back down, but only inching my way up. And eventually i got up to the open double door, cupboard doors in the bathroom and I fell into the bathroom.
00:19:15
Speaker
And I thought, God, what a waste of time. And I still haven't done the accounts. And I got in the shower and I got clean and I got dressed again. And I went and sat at my desk and it was now dawn and the sun was coming up out of the window and there was a knock on the door.
00:19:31
Speaker
And it was one of my sparks, one of my electricians working for me. And he came in and said, oh, governor, I'm i'm so glad to catch you here so early. Do you mind if I go through my petty cash with you? Because I really need to.
00:19:45
Speaker
top up my petty cash if you would and i said oh sure and i'm sitting there going through his chits with him and i'm thinking he has no idea i just nearly died in a pipe dug so that's the other story i used in the chapter about risk the goal of the chapter is it's short enough that you can read it it's exciting enough because it's got two stupidities that i did myself But I also say in the following chapter, you have to take risks.
00:20:15
Speaker
Just don't take risks where you might die. But you must take risks. Think of your life as you're sitting in an envelope and it's dark and you're cross-legged and just sitting there and you feel safe.
00:20:27
Speaker
But you have a pencil. Eventually, if you poke away, the point of the pencil will go through the envelope and you'll say, no. Well, I guess I'll never be a concert pianist, will I? But then you have the great, as the author of your life, you can pull the pencil back and poke in a different direction and you can find your destiny.
00:20:49
Speaker
You can find, in fact, what will make you happy. If your job makes you happy, it won't feel like work. That's true. Nobody can write your story as well or as purposefully as you can And it's your honor and your privilege to do that.
00:21:08
Speaker
And if you get it right, which is partly a process of trial and error, you have a huge advantage if you follow up, if you're organized. Don't do your homework on the...
00:21:20
Speaker
bus on the way to school on the last possible day, do your homework the day they give it to you, and then you'll be the one who's relaxed. And they'll all be frantic sitting there on the bus, trying to do their homework on their knee on the last possible moment. Do yourself a favor, be organized. You have all this technology, all this software to help you. So there's stuff about that and sort of how to get your act together. There's there's quite a lot about how to put yourself in a place where luck will help you, where you will statistically have your adequate chance of being hit by luck.
00:22:01
Speaker
And there are ways to do that.
Book Cover Design and Themes
00:22:04
Speaker
The cover of the book, as well as, say, Finding Happy, a user's guide to your life with lessons from mine. and But the ah the rest of the cover, I thought, let me, once I'd written the book, I analyzed the word prevalence of the nouns.
00:22:23
Speaker
So, you know, life, love, mentors, social media, health, success, parents, homework, goals, solutions, profession, this, that, and the other.
00:22:39
Speaker
And I ranked them by prevalence. And then, thank God, the publisher had a much, much better graphic designer than me. And we made the cover into a sort of maze of words, a word cloud. The word cloud does give a good indication of the sorts of things that you're talking about and the way in which it's structured. The more prevalent the word the bigger the font, but even the little words which you're sort of drawn into. I'm looking at it here. Influences, freedom, luck, tribalism, profession, solutions, questions, justice, budget. How do you write a budget? If you don't have a budget, you'll run out of money and all that kind of thing.
00:23:26
Speaker
So that is finding happy. I'd love to hear from anyone who takes the time as you did and thank you for that. I'd love to hear from anyone what they think, what they make of it.
00:23:37
Speaker
Did I leave anything out? How do I make the the second edition even more helpful?
Views on Happiness and Purpose
00:23:43
Speaker
Peter, the book is called Finding Happy. So big question in life is always like, what is the secret to happiness? How would you describe the secret to finding happy?
00:23:53
Speaker
Well, there are three chapters in the book, one near the beginning, one in the middle and one at the end, that are called The Meaning of Life, part one, part two and part three. Short term, The Meaning of Life, as far as I'm concerned, is a big tub of chocolate ice cream, a spoon and something interesting to watch and no one to bother you. You could even say that medium term happiness is stuff like that, but more of it.
00:24:21
Speaker
But long term happiness, I believe has to be found through helping other people. If you are blessed by not having to work a five day week, what are you going to do with the fifth day?
00:24:36
Speaker
You can do chores, but in the end, you know, building the shed, how much joy is there in that? Not that much. But i believe if you ask yourself, what am I interested in?
00:24:49
Speaker
What do I care about? Is it animals? Is it ecology? Is it climate change? Do I want to fight for social justice? There are charities left, right and center. Find the right one.
00:25:03
Speaker
pitch up and volunteer. The first thing is you will find an incredible mechanism for making a difference. The second thing is it'll make you really happy.
00:25:16
Speaker
And the third thing is you will meet amazing people and have amazing opportunities. And from all of my extensively long life,
00:25:27
Speaker
I'm here to tell you that the meaning of life is the quest for happiness and finding it and how ultimately you find happiness is through purpose.
00:25:38
Speaker
You actually have to help other people. Yes. Good advice. Thank you very much. finding happy it's a very good read it's almost like a guide to growing up before you grow up sort thing it's it's around your experiences and what you were doing in terms of life and work at particular times but the lessons that you learnt from those with my ah hr professionals hat on it's almost a even that is like a guide for life it's like you have got this job you are doing this work
00:26:12
Speaker
like how well did you do it?
Conclusion and Call to Reflect
00:26:14
Speaker
What feedback have you got about it? What have you learnt from today? Just don't don't wonder through life wondering whether you're doing a good job or whether you're having a good time or not. Have some sort of plan and you read a book like Finding Happy and you should get to find your own happy as well. But for today, you know, Peter, it's been really interesting and do appreciate your time and thank you very much. Well, I'm honoured and get the book, read it, send me an email. Love to hear from you. We will. Thank you.
00:26:49
Speaker
I am Michael Millward, Managing Director Abusida. In this episode of Rest and Recreation has featured Peter Samuelson talking about his book, Finding Happy, a user's guide to your life with lessons from mine. You can find out more information about both of us by following the links in the description.
00:27:09
Speaker
At Rest and Recreation, we believe in living healthy, happy, constructive lives. An important part of staying healthy is knowing the risks early. That is why we recommend the Health Test from York Test, especially the Annual Health Test.
00:27:22
Speaker
The Annual Health Test from York Test provides an assessment of 39 different health markers, including cholesterol, diabetes, organ functions, the list goes on. The annual health test is conducted by an experienced lobotomist who will complete a full blood draw at your home or workplace.
00:27:39
Speaker
Hospital standard tests are carried out in a yeah UKAS accredited and CQC compliant laboratory. You can access your easy to understand results and guidance to help you make effective lifestyle changes anytime by your secure personal Wellness Hub account. There is a link and as you would expect a discount code in the description.
00:28:01
Speaker
I'm sure that you will have enjoyed listening to this episode of Rest and Recreation as much as Peter and I have enjoyed making it. So please give it a like and download it so you can listen anytime, anywhere. To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe.
00:28:18
Speaker
Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abbasida is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to have made you think. Until the next episode of Rest and Recreation, thank you for listening and goodbye.