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Me First Darling – a conversation with author Cheri Darling
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Me First Darling – a conversation with author Cheri Darling
Meet Cheri Darling the author of Me First Darling A Sacred Guide to Healing, Boundaries, and Becoming Your Own Rescue.
Cheri Darling is the hostess of the Ta Ta Darling, a one-of a kind wellness Airbnb nestled in the heart of Temecula Wine Country in California, USA.
Cheri is also a military spouse, professional photographer, wellness advocate, entrepreneur. Every stage of her journey to achieving a balanced life has been poured into the creation of Ta Ta Darling to create a space that is as luxurious as it is healing, and documented in her book Me First Darling
In this episode of Rest and Recreation, the work life balance podcast from Abeceder Cheri and host Michael Millward discuss the philosophy that inspired Cheri to create Ta Ta Darling.
You can find more information about Cheri and Michael at ABECEDER.co.uk
People mentioned in this episode Greg Saunders
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Transcript
Introduction & Episode Goals
00:00:05
Speaker
on zencastr Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the work-life balance podcast from Abysida. I'm your host, Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abysida.
00:00:20
Speaker
Today, I am talking to Sherry Darling about high vibrations. As the jingle at the start of this podcast says, rest and recreation is made on Zencastr because Zencastr is the all-in-one podcasting platform that really does make every stage of the podcast production process so easy.
00:00:44
Speaker
If you are, or if you want to be a podcaster, give Zencastr a try. Use the link to zencastr.com in the description. It has a built-in discount. Now that I have told you how wonderful Zencastr is for making podcasts, we should make one that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to.
00:01:06
Speaker
may also be good enough for you to share with your friends, your family and your work colleagues. As with every episode of Rest and Recreation, we will not be telling you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think.
Meet Cherie Darling: Wellness Advocate
00:01:21
Speaker
Today's Rest and Recreation guest is Cherie Darling, the hostess of Tata Darling, a one-of-a-kind wellness Airbnb nestled in the heart of Temecula.
00:01:34
Speaker
I hope I said that correctly. Temecula wine country in California. As well as being ah wellness host of an Airbnb, Cherie also wears many other hats. She is a military wife, a professional photographer, and a wellness advocate, as well as something of an entrepreneur.
00:01:56
Speaker
I have been to California, and but not actually to Temecula Wine Country, which I believe is two hours to the east of Los Angeles.
00:02:07
Speaker
The wine country... That is correct. That is correct, Michael. I know it's correct. You only he told me that a couple of minutes ago. Michael, I want to just thank you for having me on your amazing broadcast here. I really feel privileged and honored to speak to you today. So I wanted to say thank you. That's welcome. You're very welcome. But it's not your time yet. Let me do the rest of my introduction. Wonderful.
00:02:36
Speaker
I have been to California and I would go again. And if I do go again, i will make my travel arrangements with the Ultimate Travel Club. Because as a member of the Ultimate Travel Club, I can travel at trade prices on flights, hotels, trains, ferries, you name it.
00:02:53
Speaker
Every form of transport, every type of holiday is available at a trade price with the Ultimate Travel Club. In the spirit of sharing, I've made a link available in the description, which has a built-in discount so you can become a member of the Ultimate Travel Club as well.
00:03:09
Speaker
But now, well, now that I've paid some bills, it is time to make an episode of Rest and Recreation and say, Cherie, it's okay, you
Understanding High Vibrations & Mental Health
00:03:19
Speaker
can talk now. Hello, how are you doing? Wonderful. Thank you, Michael. Thank you.
00:03:24
Speaker
Please tell me a little bit about your history and how you ended up becoming the hostess with the mostess at Tata Dali. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much. Well, my journey started out pretty much probably like a lot of others journeys, there had to be some motivation in my own health and wellness. And so when I was researching, just some things were going on with me that didn't make me feel fabulous. And I came across a lot of different healing modalities like the Gerson therapy and the benefits of far infrared sauna. And there's a lot of holistic benefits to healing benefits to fasting and meditating and centering yourself to maintain a sense of peace and calm. So my motivation really started out at life was doing its lifing thing and I didn't feel my healthiest, most vibrant self. And I just did some reflection on what I was consuming. That's consuming with food, with sound, with vision. What am I looking at? Is it high vibrational or do I feel sad when I look at the news? So I just decided to make some overall health, wellness and changes to support my mental health. What do you mean when you say high vibration? I like to explain it in terms of Let's consider it a radio frequency. So when you get up in the morning, for me, when I get up in the morning, my routine most days is thank you, God, for an awesome day. And if I forget to say it when I get up in the morning, I usually try and find a way to say it. during the course of a day. And then I started saying, well, God, show me how good it can get. And I would have all these amazing serendipitous moments that could only happen by divine intervention. So staying in a high vibration means that we know that it's possible when you get in your car today that you may hit a little traffic. And rather than scream at the person next to you, why don't we just all stay in and the best vibration we can and realize we're all trying to get to work. We're all trying to get to that next space as safely as possible. So staying high vibration is really choosing to be happy and choosing the path of
00:06:01
Speaker
whatever makes me feel the best. There was a person, her name is Desiree Benson, and she posted something that was so intriguing. She said, is it better to look good or to feel good? I really love that post.
00:06:18
Speaker
We want to reflect internally for the beauty and the feel good feelings, and it will reflect, the inner reflects the outer. So the outer reflects the inner, meaning that whatever you're feeling on the inside, will reflect in your environment and your surroundings.
00:06:35
Speaker
Very much so. Thank you. You've reminded me of so many things. Like when you talk about we're all in it together, we're all trying to make our way in the world, you know we're all dealing with some sort of issue or another. You reminded me of those words of Michelle Obama when she was attacked by all and sundry plus everybody else. And she said those words of like, the lower they go, the higher we will soar. Love it.
00:07:02
Speaker
Love it. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, you can choose to have a miserable day. You may have all sorts of different reasons to have a miserable day. But the mere fact that you have made that choice doesn't mean to say that you should inflict your choice on other
Self-Mastery and Mental Fitness
00:07:17
Speaker
people. Right, right.
00:07:18
Speaker
<unk>ve Got to see other people and and allow them to have their lives as well. And then this post that you've seen about what's more important, the inside or the outside, reminds me of a conversation with my personal trainer, Greg Sanders. I'll put a link to his website in the description. He says that as he's grown older, when he was much younger, he would do all these fitness things. because how it made him look.
00:07:46
Speaker
And now that he's getting older, he does it because of how it makes him feel. I love it. And I believe in the post, she talked about the internal reflection being called self mastery. So once he was doing all the workouts to feel to look good for, for the people that wanted to see the fabulousness, but To feel good is more important when you understand self-mastery. When you talked about a personal trainer, my mind immediately went to a physical fitness trainer. But what about a mental fitness trainer? And I think that's what staying in a high vibration is all about. You have to work that muscle. You have to remind yourself to stay positive. No self-talk, no down-talking of yourself. We have to talk positive to ourselves. And even when life is life and you have to do mirror work, you got to look in the mirror and go, wow, you look great.
00:08:49
Speaker
You know what? You're going to meet a fabulous person today and they're going to say something so inspiring to you. Maybe you should wear the cowgirl hat.
00:09:00
Speaker
And so I talked to myself and I do this mirror work and I actually wrote a book called me first darling, which is literally about wellness. It's about setting boundaries. It talks about the importance of forgiveness, how certain hormones are released when you forgive others. And so when they say you forgive others for yourself and not for them, that's accurate.
00:09:28
Speaker
I went to a wellness retreat with Barbara O'Neill in Fallbrook, California, And she stated that it's very important to forgive, to let go of anger, to let go of hurt, to let go of guilt. And in my book, Me First Darling, I talk about which organ is responsible for each emotion. For instance, the liver and anger. So if someone's dealing with anger issues, unfortunately, it may affect and reflect in their organ health.
Wellness Therapies at Tata Darling
00:10:06
Speaker
it's It's more about how those healing modalities have impacted you and your experience of them. Yes, exactly. Even in the wellness space of Tata Darling, where we do offer red light therapy, which has been shown to ease inflammation, it helps for more restful sleep. In addition to the obvious, it helps make your skin glowing and flawless in and terms of people that have skin conditions like rosacea. And then we also offer Normatec leg compression therapy. and Maybe you've heard of a couple athletes, one called LeBron James. Oh, yes.
00:10:47
Speaker
I'm very up to date with American sports. I love that. I believe he's ah he's a basketball player. Yeah, he is. You know, he's not in his 20s anymore, but he is clearly still dominating on the court. For his recovery, for his rest, and for his well-being, he uses... Norma Tech leg compression therapy. What that is, if you can imagine putting on, i don't know, a long boot like sleeve, and it'll go from the bottom of your feet all the way to your hip.
00:11:18
Speaker
And on both legs, this Norma Tech compression leg therapy machine will squeeze your feet. Then it squeezes your ankles. Then we're going up to the calf muscles. We're at the knees now. oh my goodness, thighs, and then all the way to your hips. And when you're breathing deeply, and you're relaxing under your red light therapy, so you're getting all of these healing modalities at the same time. And while you're laying there, I'll put on the alpha stem that the brainwaves slow down enough to get into alpha state. So right now, we are in beta state, we're laughing, we're having a good time. You know, we're talking about all of these great healing modalities, but really, When you want to self-reflect and find those solutions and ask your higher self, your subconscious mind, what's going on in my life and what is the solution? Well, guess what? I am the solution. So I'll put on my alpha stem that slows the brain patterns down enough to where I can really understand who I am and how I can manifest anything that I want in my life. Proper relaxation. And then, of course, you have the aromatherapy. So there's salt lamps throughout the space. And oh, by the way, we have the sound therapy. So what we have is a space where in her in her journey to be a cu psychologist, she can do the sound therapy for you. And you'll have that experience while you're relaxing. And two of you can enjoy the sound therapy, the aromatherapy, the leg compression therapy at the same time. Nice.
00:12:59
Speaker
Dee Freeman, who's on Sistas for Tyler Perry. And I'm just very excited about my journey and how God continues to surprise me. Yeah, your interest in this area was prompted by your own health conditions. And I hope that you're a much better now. 100%. I think once we realized, I think the biggest thing that saved me in my journey was this membership. And it's to, it was to Prime and it was Gaia and G-A-I-A. And When I signed up, so basically the conversation goes something like, you know, you're dealing with this or we think you may have this condition. And rather than wait two weeks and cry and bite my fingernails, what I decided to do was educate myself on everything there was to make the body as strong and powerful as possible. And then I found out about the Gerson therapy. It was about a doctor who has such severe migraines. that he decided that maybe life wasn't worth living anymore. And this is his story. way he was deciding what he was going to do, something came in his head about a time when German soldiers were surrounded and they couldn't get me medical supplies to them during the war. A nurse saw coffee on the counter, cold coffee that the doctors were using, and she took the coffee and administered it to the soldiers, the wounded soldiers, to ease their pain. And he probably thought to himself, hey, if coffee enemas will help ah a soldier with wound injuries, maybe it'll help my migraine. And so what he found is he started doing coffee enemas and he changed his diet to just doing coffee enemas and only eating apples. And he went 24 hours without a migraine. Nice.
00:14:57
Speaker
Useful. Right. yeah And he kept doing it. He ate apples for three weeks. Then he starts adding things to his diet. He adds carrots, carrots. OK, I eat apples and carrots. Great. Then he starts adding oho the sugar. OK, I take that out. And so he gets this beautiful recipe, a beautiful cookbook, if you will, of foods that he can eat, along with keeping toxins out of his body that can keep him from getting migraines. So I learned about the Gerson therapy. And the Gerson therapy basically says if we can get all of the toxins out of your body and load your body with organic things, and beautiful healthy fruits and vegetables is it possible that we can use the liver and dump out all of those toxins all of these places that load your food with sugar here in America we do have some challenges with our food you almost have to be a scientist to eat healthy in America And it's unfortunate that we are in this state right now, but this is where we are. And I understand the UK, you guys actually have food, that food like where I think it's like, let's say we have orange soda here here where our orange soda may have, I don't know, 20 ingredients. None of them include orange juice. I mean, I'm just, I'm exaggerating a little bit. Yeah, it's the lack of the colorings that we have in the UK. if you If you put something um from the United States, a fizzy drink from the United States, like inside a fizzy drink from the UK or the European Union, oh absolutely the ah the color of the American fizzy drink will be ah much brighter because of the all the various different colorings. It sounds like you've built quite a, well, not quite a, but a big level of knowledge about all of these various different ways of improving and maintaining your health.
Finding Purpose Through Wellness
00:16:49
Speaker
You didn't need to set up Tata Darling. You didn't need to sort of become an entrepreneur in this area. It could have been something that was just part of your life and you carry on being a military wife and an entrepreneur, a photographer. So why decide to sort go into the hospitality and wellness industry, which is great to be in, but it's hard work, isn't it? Yes. I'm so glad you circled back to the original question because I, you know, I got excited.
00:17:20
Speaker
when we talk about manifesting a lifestyle and visualizing the version that I am right now is a version that I've been working on for years. And I said, what if I just pretended, what if I imagined, what if I thought about Claire Huxtable from the Cosby show? And what if I just imagined what winery she'd go to, or what if I just visualize myself in a space as beautiful as the one that I'm currently living in? The um space that Tata Darling is is in wine country, we were blessed with a beautiful home and and beautiful surroundings. And I remember sharing my space with some friends and I said, would you like to have a tour? And upon giving them the tour, my friend. And she says, Sherry, wait a minute. You have red light therapy. Yes. Light compression therapy. Uh-huh.
00:18:19
Speaker
Cold plunge. You have a far infrared sauna. You have this alpha stem sound therapy, sound bowls and salt lamps throughout the space. And then she says to me, do you heal people here?
00:18:35
Speaker
I was like, I got like, I felt like someone knocked me over a little bit. And I'm thinking, what? I never even thought about that. And I always thought that my space was, i I didn't really realize what my purpose was until about, I don't know, maybe a year ago when I had the divine assignment, when I met the first lady of a church at a women's retreat. where I was speaking about health and wellness. So I don't know how that works. It was a silent women's retreat by the Queen Tara Lynn Fanat. I was thinking like, yeah, you're doing a keynote at a silent retreat. And she says, that's right, only in America. And she says, um She says, Sherry, um you're telling us all this information about carbon C60, she legit. You're telling us about all these things that we can do to clean our gut and parasites and getting the mold and fungus and sugar out of our body. When are you going to write the book? And I said, um those ladies over there are doctors and they all have these PhDs and I just have this really tiny marketing degree and a big personality. I'm not sure that this is my assignment. And then she's she's a lady of the church. She's powerful and she's strong. And she said, this is your assignment.
00:20:01
Speaker
And it just hit me. And I was just, okay, wait a minute. I'm supposed to write this book about wellness and telling people that cortisol is destroying us. So when you're in traffic and you're looking at your cell phones at 10 o'clock at night in the bed, you are messing up the production of your melatonin.
00:20:20
Speaker
You're literally stopping your ability to get restful, restorative sleep. And in my book, Me First, Darling, I talk about the organs of the bodies that are being restored between the hours of like 10 and 12 and the hours of 12 and two. But if you decide that you want to go to bed at three in the morning, after you've been staring at your blue, your, your phone all night, then guess what? You've skipped all of those different organs of the body. And I had a dear friend tell me, she says, Sherry,
00:20:48
Speaker
I am dealing with some, she said she was dealing, I'm always careful about how I speak. Once you say I am, you get to be that. So when you're telling the story, I'll be careful. She stated that she was dealing with some serious health issues. They all, it was like high blood pressure, diabetes, hypertension, all the H's and D's, whatever, what whatever that was. And I just simply Googled, I said, and she goes, yeah, and I don't, I don't really go to bed to about three or four. that's late And I said, diseases resulting where i'm related to sleep deprivation. And literally the first like four diseases or illnesses were from that what everything she had just told me. It was like high blood pressure, hypertension. And and you know maybe three or four was up. Maybe she goes around 12. Maybe this was a long day for her. But we talk about exercise and we talk about nutrition. But who is talking about rest? And that's where it circles full back to your show, rest and leisure, because the importance of rest is going to get your body, it's going to lengthen your telomeres. That kind of basically tells you How long you're going to be here? So each time you go into the bucket of stress, you shorten your telomeres.
Energy Management & Positivity
00:22:02
Speaker
So let's say we only have $100 worth of energy, and then we're going to use 10 of them getting mad at this person at the stoplight we're never going to see again. We're going to get upset because someone didn't like a post that we had, so we're going to use 10 of them. 10 more there. So we got 80 that we can at least try and be positive with. Okay, well, I got to 25 because when I walked in to work today, no one greeted me like they did on that TV show Cheers. No one said, Sherry, they didn't say Norm, you know what I mean? So what I'm saying is this, we have a choice when we get up in the morning, we can choose to use our energy to be a light for others.
00:22:42
Speaker
we can choose our energy so if if my cart bumps into you at the grocery store it was meant for me to say hello to you and that's why if you look at my photography you'll see the energy that's related in those pictures these people have a relationship with me they understand me i've told them a joke i said look at god gave you the dimples oh my gosh your shoes are fabulous And we have a relationship that's already established. That's why you look at my Instagram reel and you'll see that. Wait a minute.
00:23:13
Speaker
Does she know every single person? Are they all her best friends? And the answer is absolutely. They're all my besties. Right. So you're a very, very busy lady. and You're obviously very passionate about all of the wellness things and building quite a business with it at Tata Darling. But you what do you do for your rest and recreation? What sort of things are you involved in?
00:23:36
Speaker
ah I love my biggest things that I'm doing right now is It's self-healing through either sound bowl therapy. I love going to Lake Skinner, which is only about eight miles from ah Tata Darling. And it's a beautiful lake. And I take my sound bowl out there and I just, you know, I play for the birds and the fishes and the and the waves. And I just try and... remind myself how grateful I am to be in this existence. And I'm thankful that God has put me in a space where I said, well, I want to be in a space where I'm helping youth. I want to be able to help teenagers and I want to be able to help those that can impact the next levels of the world. And So I'm so grateful that I'll be speaking on a panel talking about staying in a high vibration. In high school, it can be tough. In middle school, it can be tougher. So we just want to make sure that we're giving our kids, the teenagers, the tools to be successful. I'm not sure if you were able to see, but unfortunately, the United States community children are suffering in high school in terms of the education has failed us. We have the lowest scores that we have had in decades. And I would have to say it probably has something to do with the social media influences, the cell phones, the the junk food that they're consuming, all the red number three and the MSG. Yeah.
00:25:11
Speaker
All of that is harmful to the development of our youth.
Practical Health Tips & Conclusion
00:25:16
Speaker
And we have a responsibility to not punish them because they're jumping out of their seat because we just gave them 60 grams of sugar with the orange juice, the cereal, and whatever this blue number two fruit juice yogurt is.
00:25:30
Speaker
And we're upset, like, why aren't you sitting still? I can't because I'm i'm on 40 grams of sugar right now and I'm getting ready to eat some McDonald's later. and And I don't even know what kind of food that is. so um So, you know, we're just grateful to be in a place that we understand that, you know, there's things that we can do. We can do activated charcoal. to get the parasites out. Well, what can we do? How about some ah clove and flaxleak grind up in your smoothie? Just find different things that you can do. And here's an easy one. This one's fun, guys. All you have to do for, this is not medical advice. This is just something fun to do.
00:26:06
Speaker
um If you have a fatty liver disease, or if you feel like your midsection doesn't feel quite as svelte as you'd like, all you do is a half a shot glass of fresh squeezed lemon juice, and then ah your best olive oil, you can find a half a shot glass. I don't know. what is that? An ounce, two ounce, whatever. And then you do a pinch of cayenne pepper. And what that's going to taste is like the most amazing lemon drop in the world. And guess what? It's going to heal your liver health. So that's a freebie, guys. And I'm just so grateful. I'm so grateful, Michael.
00:26:41
Speaker
I can tell. And you're passionate about it and you're fun to be with and have a conversation with as well. And I really have. um You didn't need me here.
00:26:54
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Because your accent is amazing. Oh, I'm sorry. My accent, because, you know, you you said you're speaking the King's English. So I like hearing your voice, whatever we're going to call your your tone of voice. We're going to say that I have the accent.
00:27:09
Speaker
Well, I am English in England, talking English. So if you're a Californian, you probably have a Californian accent. I have enjoyed recording this episode of Rest and Recreation with you. And I do thank you for your time and your insights. It's been amazing. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you, Michael. Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:27:28
Speaker
I am Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abbasida. And in this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with the hostess of Tata Darling, Cherie Darling.
00:27:40
Speaker
You can find out more about both of us by using the links in the description. At Rest and Recreation, we believe in living healthy, happy lives. I can't make you happy, but a good way to be healthy is to know the risks early. That is why we recommend the health tests available from York Test, especially the annual health test.
00:28:02
Speaker
The annual health test from York Test provides an assessment of 39 different health markers, including cholesterol levels, diabetes risk, various vitamin levels, organ functions, all sorts of things.
00:28:15
Speaker
The annual health test is conducted by an experienced phlebotomist who will complete a full blood draw at your home or workplace. Hospital standard tests are carried out in a UK AS accredited and CQC compliant laboratory and similar laboratories in the United States of America.
00:28:33
Speaker
You can access your easy to understand results and guidance to help you make effective lifestyle changes anytime via your secure personal wellness hub account. There is a link and as you would expect a discount code in the description.
00:28:48
Speaker
I'm sure that you will have enjoyed listening to this episode of Rest and Recreation as much as Sherry and I have enjoyed making it. So please give it a like and download it so you can listen anytime, anywhere. To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe.
00:29:04
Speaker
Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abusida is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to have made you think. Until the next episode of Rest and Recreation, thank you for listening and goodbye.