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A New York Christmas Wedding with Ada-Rhodes Wish
36 Plays4 days ago
Get ready for the most deranged movie we've ever watched on this podcast! Ada-Rhodes Wish joins Emma & Katie to talk about this fever dream of a lesbian Christmas romance that takes on teen pregnancy, the Catholic Church, and, well, lots of other things. It's certainly something unique!
Fact Check: Peter Florrick (Chris Noth) was State's Attorney and then later the Governor of Illinois on The Good Wife.
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Transcript
Introduction and Movie Tease
00:00:00
Speaker
ah well Hello, welcome. ah In the green room, while we were waiting for you, Katie and I almost like started getting into convos about this movie that we were like, no, we gotta pause because we need to save this content for the pod.
00:00:14
Speaker
Well, you were texting me yesterday about it, and I was like, I don't want to talk to you about it because like we need to talk we don't want to burn cast, right? Yeah. So I was like, yes.
00:00:26
Speaker
It was awesome. Like me taking notes. Yeah. This movie is like, if nothing else, a conversation starter. Definitely. Like you need to, you watch it and you need to explain everything to someone else. Cause you're like, I just watched.
00:00:38
Speaker
It's like when you wake up from like a fever dream and you're like, I need to explain the world I have seen. Like right you're, you're changed. You're John on Patmos and you have to write down the, um, the revelations that you have, uh, that have been unfolded to you. What?
00:00:57
Speaker
That was a Bible reference, Emma. Oh, so topical. Exactly. Thank you.
Special Guest Ada Rhodes-Wish Joins
00:01:04
Speaker
um well Welcome. um We have a special guest. ah This is Ada Rhodes-Wish, who does another podcast with me. um has um And gosh, was it like two years ago, maybe?
00:01:20
Speaker
You told me about this insane movie. probably i saw it for the first time in like december 2021 so when it came back around after its first release which um is it interesting because that's also when like the chris noth of it all was happening yeah this is a really weird time to discover this film and then since then i like tie people down every year and i'm like you must watch and they they just do not understand why i'm obsessed with it until you reach the like this one specific scene and they're like I get it. i get it why you need everyone to see this.
00:01:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. i mean yeah, there was definitely, i think I was like definitely all in from 20 years later. And so I mean, i my favorite quote, which is this sure is different than finance, huh? Yeah. Yeah.
Podcast Theme and Comedic Twist
00:02:15
Speaker
we We watch a lot of bad movies on this podcast, um ah but this one is is particularly inept. This is probably the the um the most like amateur movie we've watched on this show, would you say? Yeah, yeah. Which is surprising.
00:02:31
Speaker
um But let me let me introduce the pod quickly. Right. ah You guessed it, guys. This is Go Get Your Girl, Ho Ho Ho's edition. ah This is the podcast where Emma and Katie and Ada... are all just three
00:02:51
Speaker
Secret lesbians engaged to a super rich guy. Whose, whose mom is also super rich and really wants us to get married on Christmas Eve. But, ah but then we go for a run cause we're frustrated and we see a guy get hit by a car and he says some real like cryptic shit to us. And we're like, k let's be honest. It was a twink. It was a twink. And we wake up the next morning and whoa, we're in an alternate reality where,
00:03:21
Speaker
We are with our first love, who is our was our best friend from childhood, who bailed on us decorating a Christmas tree. And we told her that we never wanted to see her again. But now we're together.
00:03:33
Speaker
And then it gets weirdly like about politics and Catholic Church and Chris Noth is there and blah, blah, blah. Other things happen. Well, not understanding the Catholic Church and how it works out. Exactly. On a really. Exactly.
00:03:47
Speaker
No. Exactly. um But yeah, ah we realize that our gayness is the reason for not only our fiancé slash wife slash ah first love's death, but also the, well, not really, but I mean, she would have been alive. And the second reason is our dad also would have been alive if ah we just realized that we were gay.
00:04:12
Speaker
Never explained. yeah her Not the gayness, but the lack of gayness. Not being gay killed her dad. Yeah, not
Movie's Uniqueness and Director Discussion
00:04:20
Speaker
being gay killed her dad and her best friend by like a lot of other reasons. But that's the one like the middle of the Venn diagram here. Anyways, I'm Emma.
00:04:33
Speaker
I'm Katie. I'm Ada. I'm Katie. And today we're talking about a New York Christmas wedding from 2020, written and directed by Atoje Abbott, um who has is an actor and has been in a reasonable amount of things, like a working actor in New York, it seems. um he is um He directed a short before this called Jitters, and the success of this movie allowed him to create his own production company,
00:05:05
Speaker
And this is his only other, um this is his only project still as a, that he's written or directed since 2020, at least in the last five years, his, um his bio on IMDb says that he was, this movie is highlighted in the New York times for its uniqueness. i'm like, I'll bet it was. I'll bet the uniqueness is what made the New York times right about it. And not the yeah bat shitness of it.
00:05:31
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I'm sure unique was in the review. Yeah, definitely. yeah I think because I've held down a weird rabbit hole because I've watched this movie so many times when I did my rewatch last night, I was like, i just started stalking him because I'm like, I need to understand what drives a man to this madness. um And i think he just wrapped photography on a new film that I think is also based off a short because he did that like Romeo and Juliet short.
00:06:02
Speaker
And then this is... I think this is like a... It looks like it's kind of a similar thing where he took that short and expanded it. But then... oh Also, can we talk about the the the largest acting role he's ever had and how that is also insane? Or should we say that for later? No, no, go ahead. No, what's the largest acting role?
00:06:23
Speaker
If you remember, the in 2015, Roland Emmerich made this like movie called Stonewall. And the premise is it's like a very...
00:06:34
Speaker
homonormative white boy moves in with a bunch of queers in New York and um then becomes the person who throws the first brick at Stonewall. And Marsha P. Johnson is in it, but is played by a cis, I'm pretty sure heterosexual man, is maybe bisexual. He's married to a woman. okay sure They crowdfunded their um their honeymoon because I went really down a hole. Yeah, you went really in the rabbit hole. Yeah, but it is him. he played Marsha P. Johnson and the 2015 Roland Emmerich movie where it's like what Marsha P. Johnson did was actually done by this white boy I made up.
00:07:17
Speaker
Yes. what I wonder if that inspired him. like He's like yeah straight this just this straight actor, and he like the the the movie Stonewall, his experience in it really inspired him to like delve into what he considers gay culture, and that's what how this movie was born. I mean, I'm not going to lie.
00:07:35
Speaker
Am I surprised to hear that this lesbian ah Christmas movie was written by a man? um Not really. no. no it's it It doesn't understand anything that it's talking about.
00:07:49
Speaker
It doesn't understand a lot of things. Human behavior and the way people speak to one another. Yep. um yeah Yep. yes. um ah So this movie was released on Netflix originally as a ah Christmas, like, rom-com drama. And then why there more at some point dropped on the often of Netflix place of ah and ah is now available on multiple streaming sites. I paid Apple $2.99 to rent it.
00:08:21
Speaker
Not because I wanted him to have the money, but because I wanted to watch it at one and a half speed. Oh, okay. Well, it was also on prime. It was on prime for free, but I can't watch things on prime at one and a half speed. And it was important to me to watch this at one and a half speed.
00:08:37
Speaker
I did the full experience. I watched it at the speed that What's-His-Name intended. Toge edit. Oh, Kristoff. Yeah, yeah.
00:08:49
Speaker
He is an executive producer. Yeah. Which also I was like, what? No idea. the Catholic also an executive producer? no they I think they're really not pleased with this. I think they're like...
00:09:04
Speaker
um Yeah, this it takes a lot of liberties with Catholicism um that are fascinating, as well as just just a lot of liberties in general. and Just a lot of liberties.
00:09:17
Speaker
I was yeah trying to find... there's this There's a handful of weird websites that are like religious movie reviews, and I was desperately hoping one of them reviewed this, because in addition to them...
00:09:33
Speaker
They'll be like, here's the quality of the film, and here's why it's biblically wrong. And I really want to know what they think about this movie. But um I couldn't find one. I did find a different weird thing I've been looking for for a long time.
00:09:47
Speaker
a But yeah, the church has not released a statement on this. And I thought that they should i think they should. they should also. They call out the Pope by name. yeah By name. oh, boys. Twice. Twice.
00:10:01
Speaker
I'm fascinated. i one of my one of my One of my very close friends ah is a lesbian married to a pastor. um And I would love to know her thoughts on this. um It would be a little bit more relevant if they were the choir director of a Catholic church. But, you know, we'll we'll let it slide.
00:10:21
Speaker
Right, right, right. Well, they're not Catholic because you they're not they don't not allowed. get it. She's Methodist, I think. I mean, I don't remember. they i mean, because my friend is a pi was Episcopal, but I think when her wife got hired, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Shout out to Meredith and Trish.
00:10:40
Speaker
Yeah, Meredith and Trish, watch this movie. you Totally. i Yeah, i have to get I have to get them to watch this movie. um also in this movie in addition to uh the surprise of disgraced actor chris noth is
Actor Highlights and Casting Choices
00:10:53
Speaker
ah cooper cock or coke i'm not sure how you say that cock i'm pretty sure it's cock you're right all right cooper cock The actor later, like, who showed up in the Menendez Brothers thing, and I had to text Ada about it immediately. i'm like, Ezra and Gabby's son is in the Menendez Brothers Netflix thing.
00:11:17
Speaker
Everyone's favorite um incest twink-yowie made by... ye i Yeah. Ryan Murphy's nonsense. Ryan Murphy, yeah. yeahp Well, you know Ryan Murphy saw The Last Name Cock, and he was like, you're hired. Hired. i'm Hired. On the spot. No questions asked. Yes.
00:11:32
Speaker
Yeah. see I mean, i guess he has, he's the best performance in this film, sort of. Like, it's, I mean, it's also, also Chris Noth, like, they do stand out as being, like, actors. Because everyone else is not an actor, it seems. I mean, just, like... Like, our main girl is, like... Yeah.
00:11:54
Speaker
I guess it's difficult because some of the lines that that she's forced to say are impossible to pull off, but, like... It just reminds me, so like there was a period of my career where in Chicago, i was like, give me anything. I will do, i will network. I will like be in any student film. I will be in any indie. Like I will go to any film festival here just to network. Like get me, get me some networking. And I saw so many, so many terrible indie films and so many terrible student films. And I was in so many. And this just reminds me so much. And I can like, I can almost feel the personality of the people who are these actors, like coming off the screen of like, oh, I know exactly who this person is. That's that girl that was in my um acting for camera to class, who this is her big break. And it's going to be something that's going to like make the world. And then she's, this is going to be all over her socials for the next 10 years. And that guy is the guy who's like doing 80,000 things all the time. And he's in this one thing, but you know, he's doing it because he knows the screenwriter. I don't know. But like, I just like, I could tell who each of these people were. And I was like, Oh my God, i want to bang my head against a wall. So it's a community of deluded people. Yes. I mean, that's what actors are. Right. That's yeah true. That's a good point.
00:13:25
Speaker
It's a community of deluded people. um the that i I don't want to be mean. I'm being But ah she hasn't been in anything since yeah the the lead of this movie. so And she's probably still posting about it on her socials.
00:13:40
Speaker
Probably. um i didn't do that. I don't have socials, so I didn't do that. that ah it that It's like that girl from high school that is continually posting her wedding pictures 10 years later. Sure, sure.
00:13:52
Speaker
For everything. um Yes. So we meet ah Jenny, who is about to get married to the writer-director who plays David, her fiancé.
00:14:08
Speaker
Wait, that's the writer-director? That's correct, yeah. yeah I was going to no, we're in a flashback. You're right. It begins in 1999. It doesn't tell us that it's 1999. Except for the pager. Until someone gets a page, and then we realize that we're in the past. And then I'm like, this is too late for a pager.
00:14:26
Speaker
It really is, yeah. it's the um It's teenagers. They're probably in their early 20s, I would imagine, these girls. Yeah. And they don't know how to make cookies or eggnog. No, and no one involved in this knows how to make cookies. but The director has made a comment on that because that came up in an interview. was like, what was that about? was like, I guess none of us know how to make cookies.
00:14:49
Speaker
I was like, are you making pancakes? What's happening here? like I know Um, ah yes. So that she is like getting her Christmas on, um, and putting up a tree and everything. It's December 5th, 1999. Yeah. And she calls her, her mom's dead. Um, she, her dad is in the living room, apparently dying.
00:15:12
Speaker
Um, she calls her, her BFF, um, Gabby and is like, are you coming over? And she's like with this, this horrible guy with a Scarface poster on his door, yeah which is accurate.
00:15:24
Speaker
yeah And she's like, no, I'm with Vinny. And she's like, oh, man, Vinny sucks. Come over here and do Christmas with me. After my mom died, you promised you would be with me no matter no matter what. And she's like, Christmas is stupid. I'm going to have sex with my boyfriend and they have sex and that ruins her life. Yep.
00:15:47
Speaker
Jenny is so crushed that she writes her a letter telling her, she said, never speak to me again, and i hope you go to Arizona and kill yourself. ah And...
00:16:00
Speaker
It's implied. That's specific. That's implied. Yeah. And then we a hard cut to 20 years later and she's marrying David. Well, no we cut to my favorite smash cut where she is a vet and we are in a vet veterinarian office and she is killing a dog. kill a good dog And then she's quote unquote, so emotionally overtaken. i couldn't tell. And she just walks off the shot. Out of the out of camp of shot. And ah her boss comes and she goes, it's a lot different from finance, huh?
00:16:36
Speaker
And then she trauma dumps about everyone she loves dying because of yeah Christmas. Immediately. The first thing out of her mouth. And she says, um my dad my dad and best friend both died at Christmas and I wasn't there. i feared she was alone too.
00:16:52
Speaker
What? I feared it. Why weren't you with your dad? Yeah.
00:16:58
Speaker
It's, um um I think, because she leaves, did her dad die when she went
Character Backstory and Family Dynamics
00:17:03
Speaker
to go get the letter? Did he just like, just croak on the on the chair? Like while she was out delivering the letter to to her friend? It's never explained. It doesn't explain how he dies. it doesn't explain, night not not a bit. Just that he dies because she is so gay and she is hiding it so much in her soul that her hatred for her gayness killed her dad.
00:17:26
Speaker
Um, presumably they're bisexual, but this movie doesn't seem to know that bisexuals exist. It doesn't. Nope. Like, like a lot of America, to be fair.
00:17:39
Speaker
um i think think in this case though i feel like it's less presumably bisexual and more like presumably compulsory heterosexuality because i feel like a lot of stuff is like well you could just be bisexual but i think she just really is not at all interested in david you know yeah yeah she's just is doing it because she thinks it's the right thing to do because she thinks that's what your future should look like and it's uncomfortable right like he's rich yeah yeah Yeah. And has the worst mom. The worst mother. Mom is terrible. So she's like a vet tech, I believe. It seems that she yeah quit her job at Goldman Sachs to be a vet tech.
00:18:14
Speaker
But she they don't have pets. And it's never explained. No, it's never explained. None of that. and um Almost nothing in this movie is explained. it is about 85 minutes tops. um yeah like I think it's like, what is it? Like 88 minutes with credits. So...
00:18:35
Speaker
making it out the um she just just won't shut up about her her dad and her friend and so her boss is like go home leave me alone yeah go home i don't need this right now i've got more animals to kill because we're a kill well no we're not a kill shelter that dog was dying it's it's a vet i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be that rough all vets are a kill shelter really you think about it my head canon is the vet is like you need to leave and then just immediately like like just hangs themselves in the office.
00:19:08
Speaker
Cause like the suicide rate amongst veterinarians is like, it's one of the highest professions. And then it's just like, yeah. And then um ah around the holidays gets higher. And and then then it's like, and then your vet tech just tells you the most horrible thing. And you're like, I'm going to go do it, you know? Cause that's the only explanation. this was sad facts from Ada Rhodes Wish. Sad facts from Ada Rhodes Wish.
00:19:35
Speaker
um We have a little jingle sometimes, Ada. I appreciate the jingle. Content warning for self-harm, I guess. yeah A lot of our episodes have that. um Yeah.
00:19:49
Speaker
Do we need to go to therapy? It's the movies that are the problem, Emma, not us. um
00:19:58
Speaker
So she goes to So here's this This thing has a problem Because this movie Is very low budget They did shoot on the street in New York My guess is without permits Yep Also my guess is on an iPhone But I don't have that information Unfortunately This whole thing looked like it was shot on an iPhone It definitely did, yes And not the cool new ones It was shot on a Yeah, it was an iPhone SE Yeah So, yeah, they're at his they're at his apartment, which I guess is their apartment, which is supposed to be super fancy, but they don't have the budget for the for a super fancy apartment. So all this, like, rich stuff, like the dress that his mom is wearing, like, nothing looks the the level of um of rich that it should. You know what i mean? It's the problem of trying to yeah to to portray someone as being, like, super rich and not having the ability to do so.
00:20:55
Speaker
Yeah, it's giving off student film vibes. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Hard. It's why succession costs so much money, because you gotta to make, you gotta have money to show money. You gotta have money to pretend to have money.
00:21:08
Speaker
Yeah. um And her mom is like, you're getting married on Christmas Eve. Isn't that normal? Surprise! You're getting married on Christmas Eve! Surprise! Emma, you work in a bridal store. How many Christmas Eve weddings have are you have you been aware of? Zero.
00:21:23
Speaker
Absolutely zero. It's not a thing. New Year's Eve? Yes. Halloween? Yes. ah Labor Day? Absolutely. Memorial Day? Oh, absolutely.
00:21:34
Speaker
Christmas Eve? No! ah My aunt got married to her second or third husband on Christmas Day at the hotel from The Shining.
00:21:47
Speaker
Not the actual Shining Hotel, which is where my sister got married. My aunt got married at the place where they filmed So like the not actual hotel. Yeah, yeah. Not the one it's based ah Not the one Stephen King stayed in when he wrote it, but the one that they filmed it at. Yeah. Interesting. um And then your sister got married at the other one. um What a... What a shining.
00:22:08
Speaker
What a Kubrick family you've got. Yeah. her mother Her... Her mother-in-law or her fiancé's mother is like, you know...
00:22:21
Speaker
you're marrying into a fortune 500 company. So you're going to do what we say. And then of course she brings up the story about her dead dad and friend again. It's all she can do. It's all she knows. Well, it's because she saw those lesbians on the train and now all she can think about is how her gay feelings kill people.
00:22:37
Speaker
That's right. I forgot. exactly I forgot she saw the lesbians on the train. She saw the lesbians and then she felt herself pushing down her hatred for gayness. And then she was like, no, I need to stop because that kills people.
00:22:51
Speaker
It's her superpower. Her gay feelings kill people. um Take a note. um Whoever's writing X-Men right now, Gail simmi elil Simone's writing X-Men? Somebody like that.
00:23:07
Speaker
Someone who their hatred for their gayness kills people.
00:23:15
Speaker
Um, and then, so she storms out of the apartment onto, the, the right, at the right on the park. And, uh, and this twink gets hit by a car on a bicycle.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yep. And she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And the guy gets out and he is just like, he's fine. See, he's fine. And the twink is so mean to her. Like, you wouldn't think that he wants to, like, help her in any way. Because he's like, get away from me, lady. He's like, don't touch me.
00:23:45
Speaker
Um... Well, he's a Gangel, he's a guardian Gangel, and he calls her girl approximately 76 times in this movie.
00:23:57
Speaker
Did you count? and Pretty much every line that he says ends or starts with girl, so you know he's gay. like it's important that you know he's gay. So important. And...
00:24:07
Speaker
umman and she ah she starts She starts to tell the story to him. Yep, about her dad and her best friend, how they died on Christmas. The third time in 10 minutes in this movie. Like, she has to explain this.
00:24:23
Speaker
But we don't find out how her dad, or why her dad died. No, we don't. No, we don't. We don't find out how the the the girl died until, like... Until the end. Until basically the end, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:35
Speaker
Um Then what happens Um And then he goes ah You're gonna experience Love Or Love deeply Or some sort of quote From this movie He Yeah He reads something off of a Um Embroidery sampler Yeah To To like He says like Love deeply And like Close your eyes And jump Or some kind of nonsense Yeah So she goes back to her terrible apartment. He but also very importantly introduces himself Azrael Gabison.
00:25:05
Speaker
That's right. And then he's like, it's a biblical name. She's like, oh, so he's one of those weird Mormon guys. He looks kind of like he'd be a weird Mormon. He is on a bicycle wearing ah yeah a white dress shirt. yeah An all white. And then his name is Azrael.
00:25:23
Speaker
Yeah. And he kisses boys. And that's kind of. That's kind of Mormon. but so mor We are going to get banned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is like the fourth in a row. Have you not already gotten banned? Because that feels like... if If we were popular enough for any Mormons to listen to the Twilight Zone episode, we would have been um yeah we would had a ah letter from whoever loves that thing.
00:25:49
Speaker
Oh, the Twilight episode. Not the Twilight Zone. We haven't done the Twilight Zone movie yet. I don't think there's a romance in it. Just a horrible helicopter accident. Just ah just a tragedy. Well, it could be a tragedy with spookiness. Oh, God.
00:26:07
Speaker
um ah Yes. So she wakes up to a dog licking her face. And we meet Smudge, my favorite character in the movie. um But also, can we can we please ask the question as to why her accepting her gayness...
00:26:21
Speaker
It brings two people back to life, but it loses... She loses all ability to, like, be around animals. To be around... She doesn't know what dogs are like now. She can't tell whether or not it's a boy or a girl dog, which means, like... i don't think she has any credentials to be a vet tech. I think she just, like, made a million dollars and was like, I'm just gonna buy my way into a job working at a vet clinic so that I can drama jump at the veterinarian.
00:26:47
Speaker
Presumably, she saw the dog use the bathroom, which is, like, it's not... Like that, that should clue you to the, the sex of the dog. She also like doesn't understand, like Gabby is standing there being like, I need you.
00:27:01
Speaker
ah You need to like go take smudge for a walk. And she's like, what? What? Yeah. She doesn't know she's in it's a wonderful life yet. So she's, ah she's a little confused. Um,
00:27:13
Speaker
um because her friend is alive and they're together now and um ah she's like go take the dog for a walk yeah yeah she she wakes up to to under panties um yeah so she's like uh oh man i'm not i'm not ready to accept my gayness yet well i think she just handles the whole situation really well which i think keeps it brisk because if we had like 20 minutes of her being like what the fuck is happening and freaking out versus she just immediately is like, she just wakes up and sees a half naked woman. And she's like, I'm rolling with this, you know? Yeah. I got this. i mean All right. Time to take some mud on a walk. Presumably like she's never slept with a woman before.
00:27:58
Speaker
Um, like, cause. Or that's what killed her father. Maybe, yeah, maybe it was a different Christmas. She had sex with a college girl. Yeah. And then she was supposed to go back to her dad's house, but she didn't because she was too busy hooking up with this lady. and ah And he keeps calling her and he's like, my chest feels tight. My chest feels tight. But she never picks up the phone. And he died. That happened to my Tamagotchi.
00:28:27
Speaker
So this happens all the time. is You're just too busy having lesbian sex. And then my Tamagotchi kept beeping. And then finally, when I went to go check my Tamagotchi, it was dead. and that's how her father died. That's how her father died.
00:28:42
Speaker
Just like a Tamagotchi. Just like a Tamagotchi.
00:28:49
Speaker
Died like a Tamagotchi. Just how he lived. He died doing what he loved, being a Tamagotchi. Being Tamagotchi. She wakes up gay. That's how it happens sometimes, is what wrote. She wakes up gay.
00:29:02
Speaker
um She's in Queens now, um and she takes the dog for a walk, and she runs into the Gangel. Yep. And then he kind of explains himself.
00:29:13
Speaker
He's like, okay, listen up. Here's the thing. You're in an alternate universe. Whoa, crazy. I know, right? Go with it. I mean, I don't know why he doesn't just say it's a wonderful life. Like, we're doing it's a wonderful life. Like, it would that be too on the nose? I think that they probably don't have the copyright reasons. I mean, you don't have to have a copyright to say it's a wonderful life. like It's a movie, though. I think it's a wonderful life, isn't i can mention a movie.
00:29:37
Speaker
Isn't it in the public domain? Yeah. It might be, but again, it doesn't matter. Like, you can mention a movie in a movie without paying them. Not if you want it to be oh yeah according to this guy.
00:29:49
Speaker
Well, so, I mean, the other thing, Ada, like, I remember that that you mentioned when you first told me about this movie is, like, the obvious name for this movie should have been It's a Wonderful Wife. Yeah, yeah, obviously.
00:30:00
Speaker
Missed opportunity! Missed opportunity! um there's A lot New York Christmas wedding is the worst title in the world. Like, they couldn't come up with anything better than that? Really?
00:30:11
Speaker
There's like 80,000 other New York wedding movies. And so like you first told me, Katie, you were like, yeah, it's a New York wedding. And so then looked it up and I was like, there's like 80 movies like this. And then they were like, do you mean a New York Christmas wedding? And I was like, yes. Did I tell you that? I'm sorry. ah Well, that's why I was like, is this it? Because there's like 50 movies. And ah it was so generic. And then i was like, surely she can't mean this terrible screenshot of a movie. And, uh, yep.
00:30:43
Speaker
No, you did. Um, another potential title they really missed out on is, um, uh, Christmas Evangelion neon wedding dress.
00:30:55
Speaker
What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, um ah so yes, they, um, and he's like, okay, fine. We'll show. She's like, take me to my other apartment. And he is like, okay, fine. So he takes her to David's apartment and David is married.
00:31:10
Speaker
And has some some babies. is really happy. yeah a lot happier than he was with her. yeah And I'm sure his mom is happier too. Same apartment.
00:31:21
Speaker
so yeah Same apartment. in the family. um And he's like, we're in an alternate world. He keeps saying an alternate world. Yeah. Because this is pre um some Marvel movies. And oh no, I guess it isn't.
00:31:35
Speaker
No, this is 2020. Yeah, could have said it's like the multiverse. Yeah, Avengers has already come out. He uses no pop culture references to relate to her, which I feel like is a problem on him. But I guess he's an angel, so maybe he doesn't know. And he wants it to be timeless. Yeah, this movie, if anything, is timeless. Yeah.
00:31:54
Speaker
and And so she goes, ah she's she and then she like walks by her house and her dad starts yelling at her. Is that what happens? Yeah. yeah like Yeah. She just happens to walk by her old house and her dad is alive. Yeah. um It's never explained like how he died in the other one, so we don't know. I mean, was it?
00:32:14
Speaker
yeah Was it an accident? Was it any illness? I think it was health related because she constantly is then making like comments like at the dinner. She's like, Poppy, your health. Poppy, no, your health.
00:32:26
Speaker
Poppy, your health. So I think it was like a heart attack situation because she wasn't there. She was too busy being gay. Yeah. That's correct. Or sorry, not being gay. too busy not being gay. Wishing she was gay.
00:32:38
Speaker
um to like take care of and like baby her father into eating right and um taking care of himself. Also, not to harp on like continuity errors in this film, because I don't think they care and angel man it magic, but like, what the fuck happened to Smudge when she... know! Where did Smudge We see her go back to the apartment and change clothes, and she leaves him in the apartment with a candle burning, which is I noticed, and I thought they were she was going to burn the apartment down, but that didn't get brought up again.
00:33:09
Speaker
Well, and then at one point, she apparently the dad babysits Smudge sometimes because they go back after their meeting, their first meeting with the father, and Smudge is at her dad's house. And yeah, whatever.
Significance of Missing an Important Meeting
00:33:24
Speaker
Anyways, um speaking of the father, they were supposed to have this very important meeting with their priest, and ah she goes, she spent the time going to visit her...
00:33:36
Speaker
fiance in this alternate reality learning that he has a better life and seeing her dad and she missed the meeting and she forgot and so she shows up at the church and she's like completely clueless that she forgot and gabby is like what the fuck dude we missed our meeting we worked really hard to get this meeting and she was like what they're very religious we should point out yeah um the church is very central in their life um which Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
00:34:06
Speaker
They're Catholic lesbians, which... is to basically i don't understand why they're catholic like they could have been episcopal and not waded into the whole gay marriage thing but apparently that's something that was important to the filmmaker i mean i think that was the entire point of the film from the filmmaker's perspective is that they're catholic katie yeah cool you're missing the point of the film of ah yeah i guess so so they're catholic And Pope Francis has recently, you know, said in you know, 2019, when this movie takes place, that um Catholic priests can approve of gay marriages, but can't perform gay marriages. um You can bless a union, but you can't perform a marriage in the church.
00:34:56
Speaker
And... um Yes, so that is central to the plot of this movie, surprisingly. Central to the plot of this movie. Very important information that everyone needs to know. So we meet ah disgraced actor Chris Noth, who is... Big. And more importantly, the good wife. um He is... More importantly, he's Mr. Big! He is... um What is his first name? Crap. Florek. He is... um
00:35:27
Speaker
um State Senator Floric from The Good Wife. Thank you so much. He is Mr. Big. District Attorney as well. um And he is the priest. Yep.
00:35:42
Speaker
And has grown up with, it they they've grown grew up in the church and he's been friends with them since they were kids. and They love the church. They love it so much. love the Catholic church so much. And they want him to marry them. And he's like, I will get excommunicated if I marry you. And they're like, I could get married anywhere, but it's important to me to get married here. and he's like, do you want the church to shut down? And they're like, I just want to get married in this place specifically. Yeah.
00:36:08
Speaker
um And they're like, it just means so much to us. We have to get married here. Not instead come to a compromise, which is have like a blessing ceremony there, have him bless your union, and then get properly married at another location, which it already seems like is what happens. like But whatever.
00:36:27
Speaker
i mean, do I do, obviously I think it's wrong that Catholic people ah can't get ah married if you're gay, but like... There's also like a thing like you're not going to win in a battle against the Catholic Church. You know, like yeah this priest decides to marry you. He gets excommunicated. Your marriage is annulled. Like, yeah, nobody wins. I think we're missing a potential thing here is this is an alternate reality. so maybe this old girl is an alternate world where.
00:36:57
Speaker
her pushing down her gay feelings doesn't just kill her father, but somehow that makes gay marriage more legal. it makes the Pope gayer. Yeah. Yeah. That's the butterfly effect. She's like giving, she's giving her gayness to the Pope.
00:37:14
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. Yeah. That's what happens. So, um, ah yes. Yes. Yeah. And then they're like, whatever, fine. So then they go to dinner at her dad's. Well, I mean, but we also get Gabby talking about how she got pregnant and her parents disowned her when she was a teenager. Oh, yeah.
00:37:37
Speaker
And she has no family. And it's implied... It's... I was so confused the first time I watched this, but it's heavily implied that then he, like, helped her get an abortion, right? That's not crazy. me And then it, like, changes it later, but my headcanon is still, like, she had a weird back alley underground Catholic abortion, right? what I thought was happening. And I was like...
00:37:58
Speaker
What anyone watching it would assume, I think. yes Yeah. I was like, oh, obviously not only are we taking on the Catholic Church's stance on gay marriage, but we are also taking on abortion. Wow, this movie has layers. And then they take it back later. And I'm like, what?
00:38:13
Speaker
Do you think they got to like the first edit and they were like too controversial? I would love to know what happened between the what they shot and what they edited out. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:23
Speaker
This movie also covers the true problem with gay marriage, which is your wife constantly stealing all of your clothes. That's true. Yes. yeah yeah Constantly. that's That's the main issue with gay marriage. Yeah.
00:38:36
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And earrings. And then she takes the earrings off at a bar and puts them in her purse. And then your earrings are gone and you never get them back. Forever and ever and ever.
00:38:47
Speaker
Is that coming from
Hypothetical Scenarios and Speculation
00:38:48
Speaker
personal experience? oh with i No, no idea. Just a hypothetical I came up with just now. Oh, man.
00:38:57
Speaker
So yes, Vinny shows up and calls them bull daggers, which oh like- Oh, it tries to like initiate a threesome. Yeah, first archaic slur. Vinny, great job, I guess. Not even an accurate slur. Like that's such a deep cut where it's like, where who taught you that word for like an extremely butch lesbian and why are you using on like he's two of the most straight passing femme women I've ever seen?
00:39:25
Speaker
He's been reading a lot of Dykes You Should Watch Out For. let's just... yeah yeah
00:39:33
Speaker
So, yeah. And then, like, they keep having these conversations like it's for the first time. Like, they've been in a relationship basically for 20 years. Yeah. And are, first of all, just now considering getting married. Yeah. And two... mean, years after it was legal to get married. And two...
00:39:51
Speaker
and two They are having these conversations about their past as if they've never told them these things before. Yeah. um Over and over and over again. Long, long conversations. They're yeah so... Yeah, which are repetitive. So repetitive. And there's definitely several moments in this movie where I'm just like, I feel like if I was Gabby, i would immediately take my fiancé to the hospital for a head injury. Because the way she is acting... She is acting like she has a massive like brain tumor or head injury. She forgot the sex of their dog. She forgot this meeting with the priest. She acts like she you know doesn't know anything that happened. It's like, you know, a lot. we we've We've seen some Hallmark time travel movies. And yeah like taking you to the doctor is just so rarely something that happens. It happens in the night before Christmas. It sure does.
00:40:47
Speaker
One step on the night before Christmas. I have in my notes, I would be so concerned my wife had a stroke just because of, like, yeah everything is different. Also, yeah I think they weren't together for the whole 20 years. Because in this, there's three timelines.
00:41:02
Speaker
Because in the original timeline, Gabby goes yeah and... either and In the original timeline, she definitely has a miscarriage because that is explicitly stated.
00:41:14
Speaker
then she throws herself in front of a bus or I guess a truck. Into traffic, it says. This timeline. Walks into traffic. I think that that maybe just because it's so confusing, I think maybe the authorial intent is in this timeline where Gabby didn't die. She had an abortion instead of being sent to Arizona.
00:41:33
Speaker
But then she talks about because they have their fight and like, Jennifer still sent the letter. So presumably they were like not together until later when they like worked stuff out. They just had time to work it out because she didn't die because she had an abortion instead of a miscarriage.
00:41:50
Speaker
And then in the third timeline, um they just immediately pound under the Christmas tree with their pancake cookies. Yeah, but their pancake cookies and their watery eggnog.
00:42:02
Speaker
Just mashing clams right under the Christmas tree with dad in the other room. Yeah.
00:42:08
Speaker
so jesus christ i'm sorry i tried to come up with the most vulgar euphemism for lesbian no i love it i love it um yes so um they yeah and so they she's like hey why don't i bring up the worst thing that ever happened to us in the car and like this letter that i where i told you that i hated you and that i never wanted to see you again and her girlfriend's like oh yeah i kept that letter it's like Yeah, you want to read it?
00:42:36
Speaker
um ah and she she's like just picks a fight with her immediately i um to to bring up all this old ah this old stuff. Immediately and constantly. Yeah, and over and over again. And this I gotta tell you, one and a Half Speed really just makes this fly by. um Makes it sing. They they go and and see her dad. It's very sweet. They have a rose con leche. And I would love some mo rose con leche. Yeah.
00:43:04
Speaker
They, um, everybody doesn't, dad doesn't get any because of his health. Oh, that's true. That's true. But she has some. Yeah. So she gets extra fucked up. Yeah, so I think in this timeline, Gabby moved in with them when she got disowned, it seems, because like yeah he's like a surrogate dad to her in a lot of ways. I'm not
Movie Comparisons and Interpretations
00:43:25
Speaker
sure. Well, I mean, like he was always like there, and she was going over to their house all the time. So I can imagine like you add in like several decades to that, like that equals surrogate dad.
00:43:35
Speaker
yeah Oh, and you subtract a family. Yeah, I know. um we cut We cut in on on Chris Noth. He's watching Pope News. Yep, Pope News!
00:43:46
Speaker
Yeah, it's just and something else we should mention. sha did and All of this is so poorly written. it's There's so many like like things that no one has ever said that are crammed into these actors' mouths that yes I feel bad for them. um They're not the best actors in the world, but also it's impossible to say these lines. Yeah.
00:44:07
Speaker
I wrote, this girl sucks so bad she's allergic to being happy or grateful or anything. I hate her. yeahp Yep. She literally doesn't know how to be happy in this movie. Yeah, she just, like, you're your your girlfriend's alive. Like, just enjoy it. Like, yeah there's there's no enjoyment of this ah fantasy for a long time. And then they have sex. so Yeah, and then they have sex. And that's the only time that they're happy.
00:44:34
Speaker
Yes. The music in this... Oh my god, the music... there's more i have i have more on this, but the music is all so obviously it's just these, like, I imagine friends of of them. Oh, Aiden knows. No, okay, sorry. This is just... We shouldn't do that this. way If you ever want to have me back, have you talked about 1993 lesbian drum-com...
00:44:54
Speaker
lesbian
00:44:57
Speaker
um
00:45:00
Speaker
Oh my God, it's the basketball movie. Hearts? No. Oh, Love and Basketball? No. Oh my God. Why can't you remember? It's another movie I've watched like 10,000 times. It's set in Texas. um Late Bloomers.
00:45:12
Speaker
Oh, no, haven't. I haven't even seen that. Okay. It has the most amazing soundtrack because it's done by like a local Austin band for like 90% of it. And then there are several parts where they clearly cut the scene to one song and then realized they couldn't get the rights to it.
00:45:28
Speaker
And then... instead put over like public domain like off of a cd royalty free 1993 music it's perfect highly recommend so many old shows when they went to streaming for the first time did that where it's like this was they they very clearly had like famous pop songs of the era playing when the show aired in the 80s and 90s and now that it's on streaming they don't have the rights to them anymore so it's just like boom but boom boom it's just like or like a whole mtv back catalog where they just used to put in like the weeks the hits of the week and then yeah not allowed to do it anymore yeah yeah yeah and this is why pop culture is bad now mean those lesbians be fucking yeah well i mean it's really more of a kissing in your underwear scene than a sex yeah scene but i mean This is what a straight man thinks lesbian sex is. I don't, I'm just gonna Blue is the warmest color is what a straight man thinks lesbian sex is. I think anything can be lesbian sex, you know?
00:46:33
Speaker
as long as like, as long as you get off. And I think like this falls within the spectrum. It's just not like the steamiest. Like there's no tongues in holes. I guess with the mouth as a hole. Right.
00:46:44
Speaker
mouth is a hole the mouth is definitely the mouth is a hole there's tongues and holes famously a hole tongue yeah tongues and holes so it's just it's very like it's very very gentle and loose and tame and there it feels like whoever's on top is like not directly putting all their weight on the ah bottom person like it feels like they're like slowly hovering because they're afraid of touching them too much Well, but Jennifer hasn't had lesbian sex in since college and her dad slash Tamagotchi and her Tamagotchi dad died. you know Oh, yeah. Her Tamagotchi. She's scared if she touches a boob, her father will die.
00:47:21
Speaker
But Gabby doesn't know that. So, you know, she might be trying some like varsity sex stuff on poor Jenny and doesn't know, you know? What if she like whips out, you know, all the insane sex toys and Jenny's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:39
Speaker
I would have, we should have seen that scene. That's what we should have seen. Yeah. Yeah. That would have really added another layer to this movie. Yeah. Um, but instead actually, but you know, there is more kissing in this movie than like all the Hallmark movies we've watched on this show. That's true. There's more kissing in this than haul out the Holly. Fucking haul out the Holly.
00:47:57
Speaker
uh, um At least Hall of the Holly had conflict. Another Mormon nightmare. um That's true. This movie, full of conflict. Can't say that. yeah Can't say this movie doesn't have conflict. At least Hall of the Holly had actors. That's true.
00:48:14
Speaker
This has at least one actor. It does. Chris Knoth? Disgraced actor Chris Knoth. No, it has the the um the incest yaoi twink. That's true, yes. Chris Koch.
00:48:26
Speaker
Chris cock. Chris cock. Wait, cold, cold, cold cock. I don't remember his name. Surely it's not cold cock. Cold cock. It's not cold cock. Cooper. Mr. Cock. Yeah. Mr. Cock.
00:48:39
Speaker
yeah mr cock Cooper Nielsen? So not... Okay, so then we cut to the priest going full... Rogue. The Christians, like the play The Christians.
00:48:51
Speaker
On Christmas Eve. Yes. On Christmas Eve. It's Christmas Eve, Matt. First of all. First of all, he's like, all you gay people come up here. Yes. He calls out all the gays by name and makes them stand at the front of the fricking altar. And I'm like, Oh my God, this is like a hate crime. poor This is a hate crime. This is so horrifying. goes, I want to see so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so so-and-so. I know you're all gay.
00:49:22
Speaker
yeah He's like, look at all these gay people. People start walking out, which is like, yeah, yeah okay. Accurate. They're afraid they're going to get called up next. Yeah, exactly. It's the closeted people who are like walking out. it's like well they're like I didn't sign up for this. Before he calls them all up, he reads like 1 Corinthians 1 Corinthians. It's also, this is so dumb. This is, that I went to a religious undergrad thing, but um he calls it in a like from the Old Testament, and it's that is not. that is new it That is New New Testament. That is like post the Gospel New Testament. He called Corinthians the Old Testament?
00:49:58
Speaker
Yeah, which is such a dumb little detail. But then, um yeah, he lists all these my sins, and then he's like, and sodomy. And then he's like, now all of the gays come up here. and it's... Now all the gays come up here. Let me tell you guys some fun facts. The word gay didn't enter the Bible until 1940-something. And ah I like all these gays.
00:50:24
Speaker
well and like He is defending Catholic. As a Catholic priest, you should actually know... like he He should know the translation because he would have at some point had to read it that in like the original language, not the yeah English translation because he is an ordained Catholic priest. So he got a lot of school, you know? They go to school for that.
00:50:45
Speaker
Yeah. Famously, they go to school for that. One of two things Catholic priests famously do is go to school. They go to school. the other thing they do is
00:51:00
Speaker
ah Call out gays. ah And then surprise marry them. and then surprise Surprise marry them in front of everyone. He gives them all communion, which is like this is the first same sex communion. Like are gay people not allowed to take communion? in No, they're allowed. The only people that aren't allowed to take communion in the Catholic Church are people that aren't Catholic.
00:51:23
Speaker
Okay. Interesting. That's the only rule. Maybe it's like a couples communion because he said the same sex couples communion. I think that's what he said. Yeah. He's like trying to make it a thing. Is there couples communion?
00:51:35
Speaker
There's not couples unless it's your wedding. That's true. Well, it is a wedding, Emma. It's a wedding. oh that's true. But no, if it's your wedding, it's then, ah but like, then it's just you and then they do communion and it's like, and not to humble brag, but I had a Catholic ceremony. Yeah. Emma grew up Catholic. Yeah.
00:51:53
Speaker
You betcha, buddy. And my Catholic wedding ceremony was just for vibes. And everybody was mad about it and it was hours long, I'm sure. i wasn't there. Everyone was mad about it My friend Megan got Catholic married. And let me tell you, that is a whole day. it is That is one thing is this is both the fastest Catholic wedding that has ever happened. And also the shortest Catholic Christmas mass that has ever happened. Yes. They're in and out in like five minutes. It's crazy.
00:52:20
Speaker
yeah Christmas mass is like famously an hour and half long. Catholic pops are coming for him. That's true. They gotta cheese it. Yeah. they gotta know we can wear later ches it um um So yeah, it's a surprise Christmas wedding, just like she didn't want. um yeah And she's like, I don't have a dress. And she's like, here, wear this Jessica Rabbit costume as wedding dress.
00:52:43
Speaker
Let me wear this um this white jumpsuit where you can see my underwear through it because it's made so poorly. It is made pretty poorly. It's made so poorly.
00:52:54
Speaker
And then, yeah, so she has this, like, red, it's yeah it it looks exactly pretty much exactly what Jessica Rabbit wears. It's a very sexy, like, red cocktail dress. Yep. Um, so she that. And they're like, lesbian wedding.
00:53:08
Speaker
Um, and then Gabby's brother is there, but not her family, because her family. brother there, and he gives the worst speech
Awkward Wedding Speech and Night
00:53:17
Speaker
of all time. He goes up and he goes, hey guys, I don't know if you're all wondering where Gabby's family is. Ha ha ha.
00:53:24
Speaker
They were the people walking out clearly because Gabby's brother and parents would probably still go to the same Catholic church. It's just they don't talk anymore. Right. Cause she grew up in that church. Yeah, exactly. So they would have been there unless they moved to Arizona. Um,
00:53:41
Speaker
But, but, um but yeah, so he's just like, yeah, so just to explain. um So Gabby, here's the thing. I'm going to say all these things I should say in private to you in front of everyone here at your wedding. Our parents love in just different ways. Give them time. Give them more than 20 years to accept your gayness. know it's been 20 years, but.
00:54:06
Speaker
I've had that exact same conversation with my brother, actually, which is why he was not allowed to speak at my wedding. Oh, damn. But you could have had that experience. I could have. Yeah.
00:54:19
Speaker
Just like Gabby. yeah. also had an abortion. In Arizona? In Arizona. And then I threw myself in front of a bus. Whoa! Are you Gabby?
00:54:31
Speaker
This is all an a time angel Okay. I was going to say, is your dead baby son. This is your Christmas wish to come back in time and record this episode about this movie. Yes.
00:54:42
Speaker
Yeah. I'm glad we can make that happen for you. um ah So Asriel Gabison um shows up at the church and is like, girl, I got to tell you, this is all over. You're going back to the other world. You got to be straight now. And she's like, I don't want to be straight. And he's like, I don't want to. And he says, literally the line, he says, you should know that I am the deceased child of Gabrielle and Vincent.
00:55:08
Speaker
And we're like, what? And I'm like, oh, because abortion, right? We're going to get a little speech about abortion, right? And then everyone watching this movie has to pause and go, what?
00:55:20
Speaker
you're Well, he luckily he clarifies, though, by saying, Azrael Gabison, Gabby's son. Gabby's son. It was right there the whole time. whole time. And Azrael, because obviously I'm an angel, Dodoy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:38
Speaker
um I've always been watching over you, um or at least since get ah Gabby had that miscarriage, I guess. yeah but She didn't have a guardian angel the first, like, 16 years of her life. But then after- Yeah, definitely not when her mom died. Yeah. um You think her mom died because she was gay, but she didn't have a guardian angel yet?
00:56:00
Speaker
Oh, maybe, maybe. and But it still doesn't explain why he was so mean to her when she sees him for the first time. Don't touch me. Yeah, he's been trying to keep her.
00:56:11
Speaker
ah You would also, I think, if you're guardian angel, hate the bitch you've been trying to, like, make gay for 16 years, you know? That's true. true. Yeah. That's true. Like, that's ah clearly his entire purpose for existing within the cosmology, is to make her gay so he can stop existing.
00:56:29
Speaker
He keeps throwing lesbians on the subway, and she keeps ignoring them. Yeah, he wants to die. He wants to die and he wants her to just watch sad, sad, sadly from her spot on the subway at other happy lesbians. um So he's like, you've got the rest of the night to say goodbye.
00:56:49
Speaker
um a ghost of David shows up and then disappears. and yeah there no reason And then she goes and doesn't have sex with her wife on their wedding night. Yeah. um Because her wife falls asleep with a bottle of champagne.
00:57:02
Speaker
Right. which Yeah. It seems like the start of a great marriage. oh Yeah. That's actually, i have no no notes on that. That is actually a perfect wedding night is passing out while gently snuggling. Cause then you can wake up an early morning plow.
00:57:14
Speaker
That's true. yeah Yeah. Whenever you're like not full from all the food, not drunk from all the booze and you like feel nice and fresh and refreshed early morning bang.
00:57:24
Speaker
And then go have pancakes. Perfect. Yeah. Perfect. or cookies Same thing. Basically watery eggnog. ah So then she wakes up And it's all over and she's back in the the The first timeline with David And she's like hey we're going to Queens And he's like okay yeah And they go to the church and she's like I need to see ah Father Chris Noth and they're like Yeah he got fired for doing Illegal gay marriages We're doing too many secret gay weddings Including me and my wife Surprise I'm gay too And it's like aw that's nice
00:58:01
Speaker
that's nice that's a nice thing like nice ah what is where is he I have to assume he's in Argentina now Yeah, he moved to Arizona and killed himself. It's just such a popular thing to And she's like, i need to know what happened to this person. And she's like, oh, yeah, sure. No no problems there. i can I'll tell you information about anybody who's ever gone to church here. Yep. We don't have any rules like ah like the the secular world does. Exactly. Yeah.
00:58:32
Speaker
And she's like, yeah, so Gabby, she tells her what happened, which we've yet alluded to outright stated many times. And it's not what you think it is. Gabby, Gabby's parents disowned her and ah Father Noth got her into this like, you know, place in Arizona to have the baby. home for unwed mothers. After encouraging her to keep the baby, he yeah yes they they say. um ah She goes there, has a miscarriage and jumps in front of traffic.
00:59:01
Speaker
Well, she the baby's stillborn. Oh, stillborn. That's right. Stillborn at 29 weeks. Yeah. But named Asriel, course. She still picks that name. Becomes an angel. um As all stillborn babies do. That's just Catholic dogma. And then she immediately goes from the hospital to traffic and goes, can't do this. Bye-bye. And ah yeah, so this this actually does bring up a very interesting question. is like all of the problems that are solved in the alternate reality,
00:59:32
Speaker
are choices that our main character doesn't make. So, like, this isn't really It's a Wonderful Life. Sort of, though. That's not true, actually. Because... So, yeah. So, Azrael shows up again and is like, Hey, girl. um Hey. I can go take you back in time. And, you know, you can make different choices and, like, come out earlier. Which is like...
00:59:55
Speaker
You know, famous, like, queer fantasy. um You know. ah Come out earlier and your life will be better. So I'll give him points for that, I guess. But she's like, go back in time and make different choices and see if you can get some people to live, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, a good luck.
01:00:14
Speaker
But the downside is, I'll die. And she's like, oh, great. I don't care about you. I'll do that immediately. He's like, okay. You're dead in all things. Yeah. Once again, don't think he wants to live because his job... True, yeah. Like, how many times do you think he's actually gotten hit by a car and she just didn't notice? That's Because he's, like, so prepared and nonchalant about that's very true. And just trying to get her attention.
01:00:37
Speaker
um dr Yeah. the Well, because like in the third timeline, she never sends the letter. But then, yeah, in the second timeline, she still sent the letter.
01:00:50
Speaker
But see, that's why it's clearly something some other butterfly effect happened that instead Chris Noth got her an abortion in New York. So she never went to Arizona. That is my theory. It's never go to Arizona. That's the don't go to Arizona. Yeah. thing yeah Yeah. Apologies to our Arizona listeners. um But that's where you jump in front of cars. Oh my God. Yeah. So yeah. So most importantly, we cut to, I'm not cutting of anything. We go to um we go back to the same scene where she's on the phone with her. And this time she's a little bit more reasonable to her. ah So the question remains like, so does, does past, does teenage,
01:01:35
Speaker
Jenny now have perfect knowledge of of her whole life leading up her 30s. It seems that she does. Yeah. You think she's going to still go to Goldman Sachs?
01:01:46
Speaker
No, instead she's going to put all of her money down on the big short and beat the market ah to pay for a veterinary school. There we go. There we go. Yeah. um ah She's going Yeah. um So she's more reasonable. And because of this, Gabby decides not to fuck Vinny. ah Yeah. Which...
01:02:09
Speaker
You know, just don't have sex in ah in a boys room with Scarface poster on the door is just good advice for everyone. It looks like dorm. I was so i confused because I thought it was a dorm.
Character's Living Conditions
01:02:19
Speaker
I think it's just a sad New York apartment. That's what like my, the room that all of my siblings would just sleep in and my parents' sad New York apartment looked like. It was just like a cupboard with a bed.
01:02:33
Speaker
Yeah, that's normal. Oh, okay. That's how people live. Yeah.
01:02:41
Speaker
Well, she doesn't fuck him, and her not fucking that man saves everyone's lives. yeah I think also really importantly is she then shows up with a giant thing of candy canes and eats it in like what is um arguably the most sapphic way possible, which is like through the hole first, through which is a crazy shot.
01:03:04
Speaker
The hood of the candy cane. Nobody's ever eaten a candy cane like that. had horny candy cane. i had a horny candy cane eating contest at my annual Christmas party, my lesbian feminist Christmas party, the Clipmas party, a couple years ago. Love it. To see if anyone could come up with a hornier way to eat it um And no just someone really committed to the get in on that loop. And it actually, it was a lot. It was too much. So we banned that. We never did it again. Because the question was answered. And we regretted seeing Yeah. The question was answered.
01:03:42
Speaker
and um so she's like, I'm in love with you. And she's like, yeah, I figured. Can I kiss you? And then they kiss. and um and then they And then they mash clams. And we are out the end. And they start playing this horrible song, which now... So at some point in the last 15 minutes of this, I think it was around the time he said, you should know that I am the deceased child of Gabrielle and Vincent.
01:04:09
Speaker
I... i I moved it from 1.5 speed to 2 speed, 2 times 2 speed. And I got to tell you, this song fucking bangs at 2 speed, at 2 times speed. Listen to this.
01:04:34
Speaker
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love the tempo. Yeah. Would that be up like up the tempo, throw it up two octaves? Yeah. Yeah. it's It's chopped and screwed. um Whatever that song was. um I was into it. I watched the whole credits.
01:04:53
Speaker
And then we get, so if you do watch the whole credits, there are some extra scenes that show up. I didn't watch the credits. Yeah. Well, no, why would you? ah The only reason I did is because this song was playing at two speed and I was like, yeah.
01:05:06
Speaker
All right. Um, Yeah, so that is that, right? That's that movie. Anything else? Any thoughts, feelings?
01:05:19
Speaker
I think it's really important to note that while it doesn't have a lot, I think this has peak IMDb trivia facts. And then also the letterboxd reviews for this movie are all perfect.
01:05:31
Speaker
Oh my god, yes. Yeah, because like the IMDb trivia, which all I think is wrong. Well, except one of the facts is right. i'll go I'll do the two wrong ones first. Sure. Yes. Okay.
01:05:43
Speaker
First TV movie to use the F word, which... Nope. It's not right on any level because it's not a TV movie.
01:05:53
Speaker
I don't think they used either f word, but I like the dulic implication. they say They say fuck twice, yeah. Oh, i thought you were going to say they said the F slur. Oh, God. But they can't go that hard. He doesn't have the F card. um And then it also says, this is a great trivia fact, first TV movie involving a lesbian who meets a guardian angel.
01:06:18
Speaker
and like And that was Ada's fun facts. fun facts. That can't be true, right? That that might be true. i don't know how many lesbian movies.
01:06:30
Speaker
I mean, it's not a TV movie, but how many lesbian movies are there where they meet a guardian angel? That's got to be like. That's not big. yeah Seems a little insane. i' literally already and This next fact, really unfun fact, but really places this movie's production chronologically. Yes.
01:06:49
Speaker
So final film of Chris Trousdale, who died in June 2020 of complications of COVID-19, which means he never saw this, which is. He never saw it. He never saw it.
01:07:02
Speaker
Yeah. Probably good for him. um ah Yeah, I mean, it's the thing about IMDb. It's like these things are tagged as as TV. This is tagged as a TV movie because it wasn't released theatrically. It didn't get distribution. I mean, I think it played at a bunch of film festivals. And in fact, if you read ah the director's bio there's an exhaustive list of the film festivals where it played. ah um So I think that that it being tagged that way is why some random person decided to to make up those facts.
01:07:35
Speaker
I think, um yeah, there's ah also i want to highlight one letterboxd review, which I think is just perfect, which is if my priest pulled me in front of the congregation to tell everyone I'm gay, I would call the Pope to complain. um Yeah, this movie would have no, I feel like no redeeming quality without the Azrael Gabison stuff, which is just such an insane hook.
01:08:02
Speaker
That is so buried because it's like, you can watch the first time i watched this, I was incredibly high and it was Christmas Eve. And I was in my, um my ex fiance's parents' house, which is like a hoarder house.
01:08:16
Speaker
So it's like, can kind of only sit in like her bed and watch movies or like go somewhere else. So yeah. yeah So we were just really stoned in watching this.
01:08:27
Speaker
And when it got to the point with the, the Gabrielle, the Asriel Gabison thing, it just blew my mind right out the back of my head and like changed my life forever. Yeah.
01:08:39
Speaker
yeah I need everyone to watch this movie for that experience. Yeah. It it really is life changing, I will say. there's There's a time before New York Christmas wedding and a time after. yeah And you'll understand when you experience it. It's like Gettysburg. um ah so That is a New York Christmas wedding. Parentheses. Amazing.
01:09:03
Speaker
um Thank you, Ada, for, for coming on our show. Where can yeah people find you? Um, I guess so you can, in theory, find art. If I ever actually post it on Instagram at art of a wish.
01:09:20
Speaker
Um, Yeah, I need to probably over winter break, I'll put some stuff up. I'm just like so buried in academic work through next year that I've not been really doing a lot of art.
01:09:31
Speaker
um Otherwise, my social media is all right now kind of i defunct. And then... Same. ah You can also find me and Katie on the Totally Trans Podcast Network.
01:09:45
Speaker
Yeah! Where we... Well, we're almost done recording our way too long series, Why Did We Agree To Do This? of rewatching Evangelion and discussing it from like a gender perspective, but most of the time we're just discussing it from a like what the fuck just happened perspective.
01:10:02
Speaker
It's a show we don't really like very much. No, we're not having a good time. Our listeners don't like it either. So it really works out. We need to wrap it up. I do have some nice interviews that have been going up on there. we did one with Robin Tran and one with Eileen Noonan. And I'm going to line a couple more up.
01:10:21
Speaker
Um... for our series called trans search for meaning where i like talk with people that I feel like are like doing a good job getting through it. And then the last part of the interview is just talking about like, I don't know, how do you not lose your mind right now? So that's fun.
01:10:40
Speaker
Yay.
01:10:46
Speaker
um real Yeah, totally not a bummer, any of that. Not a bummer. And then you should totally watch this movie. You should. It's the greatest thing ever. Put it on Whenever you force your family to watch it, I think more more people need to be just forced to watch this movie. It should have a much greater cultural impact.
01:11:05
Speaker
This is truly the greatest film Christmas film of our time. I can't think of anything better. Yeah. i I completely agree. I completely agree.
01:11:16
Speaker
um What are we watching next week, Emma? um Next week? Oh, my God. Not me on the spot. um No, no, no. We've already recorded it Emma. Oh, we have? We recorded this out of order.
01:11:28
Speaker
Oh, yes. ah We're doing the Princess Switch. That's right. Yay! Wait. Is it? Are we? Oh, God. Hold on. i know That's okay. That's a TBD.
01:11:40
Speaker
Hold on. eb So it's in new year. Yes, yes, you're right. The Christmas fruit Switch. Yeah, we're we're going up the Vanessa. we're what do you What do you call it?
01:11:51
Speaker
Up on the hudgetop.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
01:11:52
Speaker
Up on the hudgetop. Up on the hudgetop. Fabulous. Shall we outro? Let's outro. Amazing.
01:12:02
Speaker
Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Girl. If you like us, tell your friends and please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It helps out a lot and we would really appreciate it. Thanks to Andrew Milliken and Nick Svoboda for our theme music and Elena Henderson for our artwork.
01:12:17
Speaker
You can follow us on Instagram at GoGetYourGirlPod or email us at GoGetYourGirlPod at gmail.com. You can follow me and only me ah at Emily M. Pizza.
01:12:29
Speaker
Until next time. Oh, oh, oh. And if you want Totally Trans. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You should also. to oh um um Yeah, you can you can listen to podcast. Yeah, I never promote this podcast on this podcast and I never promote this podcast on the other podcast. Sorry.
01:12:44
Speaker
um I'm bad at networking. yeah You can listen to Totally Trans. We're going to do something new soon if you don't want to listen to Evangelion, which is um reasonable. Or if it's your first time coming to the channel, we have like a multi-hundred episode backlog yeah of us actually doing what we started out doing before we like all lost our minds. so Yeah. ran out of content and In a way ran out of content, but yeah, there's there's there's lots of stuff.
01:13:11
Speaker
um if there's yeah If you have like a favorite movie or something with with queer or trans themes, we've probably talked about it, so you can find it. Until next time, we're just three girls.
01:13:23
Speaker
Standing in front of the internet. Asking it to love us. Good night.