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Men Caring for Men
10 Plays1 day ago
Your weekly dose of men's mental health and bro checks
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE Bio.link/nosensicalnetwork
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Transcript
Musical Moments and Missing Hosts
00:04:42
Speaker
That song hits a lot harder than I thought it would. That's a good one. What's up, boys? That song is phenomenal. um you know what i'm I'm adding it to my spot. It's a great way to set the tone for a Monday night.
00:05:02
Speaker
But welcome, everybody, to Monday night. As you will notice, ah we are missing a very important person, although maybe I shouldn't call him that. We're missing Blake tonight. So Jeff and we're not missing him. it He's just not here. He has gone missing, but we don't miss him.
00:05:23
Speaker
He's gone missing. So Jeff and I are going to be running a podcast show about our feelings. Lord help us all. Uh, so we'll see, we'll see how this goes. Chocolate. Good to see you. This all tweeted out. Maybe I can get some people in here to say what's up. absolutely Yeah. i share the link out so anybody won any Any guys want to come up, even the ladies, you know, if you want to come up and kind of give your thoughts on, on, uh,
00:05:54
Speaker
Mental health I guess I don't know i'm not i'm not usually up here. They're not I think it's I think it's funny because i'm up here every monday night And I I come up on saturday days and I used to be up on wednesdays saturday and mondays And now I only do mondays and I could not do this intro if if you paid me like i'm just We're on YouTube, we're on Twitch, we're on Twitter, we're on Facebook, yeah we're on... and We're on everything. Right there, bio dot.link-slides-not-sensical-network. You can check out all our stuff, including our Lion merch, where you can kind of spread us on you at my friend's shop.
00:06:36
Speaker
There you go. I love taking care of it. Yeah,
Working Hustles and Financial Struggles
00:06:40
Speaker
I know. I get you all hot bothered. So i do I do have a do have a new graphic for the mental health. ah You know, thumbnails, how I did one last last week. I did another one graphic and and over. I'll show you if you'd like to check it out. Yeah. Or is i your yeah you seventy me your you You can be a snap, right? it's I don't have Snapchat.
00:07:04
Speaker
Oh, well, that that kind of explains that. I have to have you write an email. up what's add yeah hey So why the fuck should I care anyway? Yeah. Agreed. You got WhatsApp, Doctor? I don't have WhatsApp. I have I have a YouTube, Telegram, Discord, Twitter, Rumble, X, the fit Facebook, all that stuff.
00:07:30
Speaker
Oh, I was gonna say. He also has, you know, a cell phone because a normal person. Only fans. That's what I was saying. I mean, hey, there you go. No, because, like, Blaze and I are all in on WhatsApp. I love using WhatsApp. There we go. There it is. I like that. See, I got Connor, Jeff, Blaze, me in the middle. I got an untraced gun. I always have a cigarette on the outside. I don't like how fat that makes me look.
00:07:59
Speaker
It's because you're it's because you got your leg crossed. Yeah, I have to know that my belt, my stomach is a circle. No, no, no, no, no, no. My stomach is a circle. And we stand next to each other. We make the number 10. I'm just saying.
00:08:15
Speaker
Those A.I. photos are fucked up, man. You know what? I wish I had the money to just play with them all day long. I just. You know, I was saying before the show, you know, <unk>re we're doing kind of a weekly bro check on this one. And I gotta say this past couple of weeks have been kicking my ass to say the least. ah as I was telling Connor ah right before we started, and because we I literally just finished another show, literally right before I came in. I'm doing a lot of work on Upwork, and it's
00:08:54
Speaker
Upwork's great. I mean, there are small jobs and it's literally everything I do is work from home. So I literally sit here from eight o'clock in the morning until it's time to do the show. um And I make phone calls. ah I'm right now currently doing five different jobs. Wow. Yeah. I think today alone, I made a little over 180 phone calls. Just
00:09:24
Speaker
knocking it out. course Well, you know what, believe it or not, it's actually a lot of the stuff I'm doing, like one, I, I, I took a job today that is literally calling people that have already sent in info and they want an appointment. So I'm appointment setting. I'm calling, Hey, you said, an oh yeah so you, you're, you're essentially the assistant. Yeah. I'm basically a a virtual assistant for, for multiple people. And,
00:09:55
Speaker
that though The problem I have with Upwork comes down to one simple thing. If I finish a job today, I get paid next week. but So it's like that week in between is like, ooh, I got to eat today. How am I going to do that one? Food is for the week. i Hey, I did two days without, but, you know, it is what it is. ah got I got chicken today, so I'm good.
00:10:24
Speaker
But i think i get paid I got paid today for what I did last week, which should sustain me until I get paid on the next one, so I'm good. But it's it's one of those things, ah once you get a like a couple of the jobs that I took, they wanted to put me under contract. So they're going to pay me upfront and then pay me at the end as well. And the numbers they're throwing at me, holy fuck, dude. I'm like, so how much is that new truck I want? You know?
00:10:50
Speaker
ah like the one guy he was he was talking about giving me like 40 grand yeah see those contracts are are big enough so that you can buy that truck in cash and then turn around and as long as you have the truck food is for the week aim into that you don't live off the fumes of the exhaust baby because i no because uh i kind of changed my stance you know click and i were talking about We both love the Chevy Colorado ZR2. Yeah. However, I found out they make a Silverado. Yeah, they make a Silverado version now. It's only 20 grand more. And I'm like, you know why? It's like 80 grand, isn't it? No, the Colorado is 80 grand. The Silverado is 110. So the Silverado pushes six, six figures. Yeah, but
Height Humor and New Routines
00:11:43
Speaker
it's fucking gorgeous.
00:11:45
Speaker
Oh, and but the funniest thing is like I went and looked at him when I first found out about him. I gotta to go see one of these things. I look so funny getting out of the fucking Silverado.
00:11:57
Speaker
im Five three and it is two times taller than me. Bro, Kevin, Kevin Hart would look like Shaq standing next to Jeff. Well, Kevin Hart and I are actually the same height. No, Kevin Hart.
00:12:13
Speaker
Danny DeVito is actually shorter than me by an inch. Well, Danny DeVito played the penguin. I would i would kind of hope. You didn't resemble him in any way, shape or form. You know what he got paid to play the penguin? I'm in. Fuck you. Jesus. I want to change the- I got 120 grand. I'm going to change the AI photos up and I have your legs swinging off the chair. There you go. Thanks a lot. Yeah. If I don't make one of enough for me, it's short. Yeah, just take Connors off. Yeah, you can take my legs away in that photo if you make my belly flatter. I have something to say about being the short guy.
00:12:48
Speaker
You know, Glick being like 614. It's really easy to get ahead. No, but, you know, the beauty of it is like being a car guy, I don't give a fuck what vehicle you can give me. I could drive it. But if somebody like Glick, who's like 614, gets in a fucking Mazda Miata, he won't fit. Because the windshield is here.
00:13:15
Speaker
So it's one of those things. i One of my buddies, when I when i was still living in Ohio, he and I worked together. It was the funniest thing. He was six foot six. And, you know, me being five three, we'd walk into somebody's house, change it to the water heater and people go, so you're going to change my water heater. Got it. you know But he went he went out to buy a Corvette and he's like, oh I had to get a convertible. And then I got in it.
00:13:43
Speaker
right before signing the paperwork and realized I couldn't buy it. I was like, why not? Corbett's cool. He's like, I stared at the top of the windshield. like I bought a used one the next weekend just to fuck with him. I used to work at a safe light and a lot of the cars that would, i don't I don't know, I think it's because of the angle of the windshield, but the the Toyota Yaris,
00:14:08
Speaker
was one that I replaced a lot. And to do this, you have to get in the car, you have to fish a string through so that you can cut through the urethane and then you got to fish it back through all this fun stuff on the inside. Huge pain in the ass. Those Toyota Yaris's were the most difficult car for me because they were such a pain in the ass to get in and out. Really? Really? See, I don't have that problem. They were so tight. I have zero problem. You know, it's like what Benji does for a living. He works in crawl spaces.
00:14:37
Speaker
yeah I can stand up in a scrawl space. You mean a basement? Well, actually, I used to work for a insulation company, and we do new construction. They, you know, they finished the house, and they were, we need insulation. The place was called North Central Insulation. And they sent us over one day to do the basement. And and the yeah the guy I worked with, I think he was 6'9".
00:15:06
Speaker
And he was like, I love doing these basements, they're so easy. And I'm sitting there grabbing the still side of the truck going, fuck you. Fuck you, what are what are these vaulted ceilings? No, they're nine footer. like But they, you know, where where the ceiling meets the the concrete for ah ah wall of basement, you have these little boxes that you have to put in between the rap the the floor joists. And you literally spend the half the day cutting out little boxes that fit out of insulation. And then the rest of the day standing up on stilts going, you know, and moving down the line. Once I got everything, you know, I can get them cut. hed He'd just sit there and go, and I just sit there and cut insulation all day. It was fucking awesome. We were done by noon.
00:15:51
Speaker
well But I don't mind being short. You know, I never have to worry about, you know, the funny thing is, is like I go to the grocery store. And you know that I have shit on the top shelf, I'll climb the fucking shelves. I don't give a fuck. Because it's it's cute when I do it. If you do it, it's like, what the fuck is that asshole doing? It's cute when I do it. It's not it's not cute when you do it. When you do it, it's like it's like it's like it's like a monkey. People walk by and try not to look at you. They don't sit there and go, oh,
00:16:23
Speaker
They go. I give zero bucks. I give zero bucks when I'm in a grocery store. and i'm Knocking all the cereal off the top. Don't even give a fuck. I don't work here. Fuck you guys. Well, he gives you a treat to a Walmart. A short little fat guy wants his lucky charms. They're on the top. I'm getting these bitches. but Jeff goes to Walmart and acts like a cat, dude. He just hops onto the top shelf, walks around and starts knocking glass shit onto the floor. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm all the way up here.
00:16:51
Speaker
I watched a movie or a show. It could have been a YouTube video. I don't remember what it was, but it was a shorter guy had a tall wife and he said, they're looking at the, uh, at the groceries and then his wife's behind them. And then he he kind of looked at her. She picks him up and he grabs the whatever he needs. It's funny. My wife is actually like eight inches taller than me.
00:17:12
Speaker
Oh, okay. And when we first started dating, my buddy mine was like, dude, how do you deal with her being so much taller than you? I'm like, bitch, I'll climb that like a tree. Don't you worry about it. You know, once he's finished, he'll base jump off her shoulders. Oh, you have no idea. With a backflip and all, man.
00:17:35
Speaker
But, you know, the perfect landing just yet. And he sticks the dismount. Yeah. Three dudes pop up from out of your closet. open up ten Who are they? Have a one. Fuck it. I stuck the landing. We're good. like got i dated a I dated a girl in high school. You know, first you didn't want to go out with me. You know, you get a lot of as a short guy dating taller women. You learn really quickly ah A, you got to be the funny guy. B, you um you have a disadvantage over the guys at 6.6 and, you know, whatever. ah But I always say the same thing to all the ladies when I'm trying to hit on them. A, we're all the same size lying down, baby. Let's do this. Yeah.
00:18:26
Speaker
It seems to work. yeah like i nice That's a new one. Oh, hey, we're all the same size laying down. I'm i'm looking at the at the but backstage currently. That's a new one. Yeah, I saw that. What are you looking at, the backstage? That's new. That's not. I'm here. I'm not there. Yeah, I get it. No, ah the the um The struggle being a short guy, there's no real struggle, honestly. and Especially where I live. I'm in Mexico, I'm i'm like the tallest thing around. specific i bled I blend so well. and It's a picture of me during this show. ah yeah it's it's It's one of those things that's like, I constantly, like I go to the mall and one of my buddies, yeah he recently moved to Canada.
00:19:23
Speaker
Uh, well, about three years ago, he moved to Canada, tallest Mexican I've ever met dude is six, four, six, four. And, you know, we, we, done yeah, I see what you did there. I see what you did. Uh, he and I walking through the mall. Everybody looks at him instead of me because, you know, it's it's funny when I first moved here, uh, I took a job doing body piercing tattoos and I had,
00:19:53
Speaker
15 piercings on my face. Oh wow. You know, if you if you count my years, uh, because I had, you know, all the way up, to you know, I was, cause I was you doing body piercing, you get bored and you're like, start sticking holes in yourself. And you know, you go to the grocery store and you know, you've got all these piercings all over your face. People's like, what the fuck? Uh, so you get used to people staring at you and, but I can walk around with,
00:20:21
Speaker
I can walk around naked next to this six foot four dude and people be like that is a six foot four mexican Don't see that every day. Oh shit. There's a naked guy, you know I i'm the second collect But I have no problem being short. It doesn't bother me anymore. It used to bother me a lot Anyway now not so much not so much So um um'm I'm over here tripping out, looking at the backstage. How you been this week, Chaka? We've been on on the subject of Jeff for the last 21 minutes. Yeah, I've been good. I had been good. I've been ah getting used to working nights. So finally got my sleep down and realized that I got a lot of time during the day. Wife's out, kids are at school. I'm like, this is pretty nice, man. i Working on some content.
00:21:15
Speaker
Yeah, what's up this Back to the Future video that I'm seeing here in the comments.
Conspiracy Theories and New Podcast Concepts
00:21:22
Speaker
Back to the Future. Right there. Enjoy Back to the Future. Oh, and somebody sent it to you. Oh, OK. I can't read. OK, the Back to the Future. Yeah, I have to go back and I wrote it down somewhere.
00:21:39
Speaker
Is this, did you come in from, Thomas, did you come in from a Twitch and now you're over here on Telegram? Is this the more?
00:21:49
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Nice man. Yeah. I love those movies. They're perfect. easy So we i we're going to do a conspiracy theory. I might have to move it to tomorrow, but we're going to do a conspiracy theory ah like like livestream. I've done a couple of those and he popped in from Twitch and he sent me a yeah back to the future video to check out. Oh.
00:22:16
Speaker
Is there a conspiracy theory with Back to the Future? I don't know. I haven't watched the video yet. I'm curious. Those movies are perfect. You can't. Don't fuck them up too hard. Oh, yeah, that's what it was. Back to the Future predicts 9-11. It's a 10 minute video. Yes, that's what that's. what Wait, what? i like I fucking hate people. Jeff, don't don't don't entertain. Yeah, I'm not going to entertain it because you're going to ruin those movies for me. But I'll get out. We just finished the car show thing, Benji.
00:22:48
Speaker
um it's It's actually ah the the new show that we just, I literally just got done doing is right here. It's Speedway Stories and Gold Blooded Conversations. We've just finished that first episode, kind of an intro to the concept. It's going to be interesting.
00:23:10
Speaker
Anyway. but Yeah. Yeah.
Parenting Challenges and Humor
00:23:12
Speaker
So I've had, I've had myself a fairly decent week so far. Nothing too crazy going on. I'm trying to think what all we've done. It's Monday. Last week, you dumb, dumb. Look, there's the real rock.
00:23:28
Speaker
He when I got kicked I laughed so hard hey i don't have anybody That was me that was me in the comments man, that was me didn' just Rock I don't trust anybody man. I know but I just kept I look I just kept kicking it and changing the name in the photo Over and over and over again, so they just was like yeah i get him out of here How you guys doing? See you Connor you've been in a while It's because he only does Mondays and then complains about how long the show goes. Oh, Connor. I do not complain about how long the show goes. I just want to need to because I have three littles that I have to, you know, corral. I can't even say that I'm raising them. I'm just kind of like the sheep. Making sure they don't get like super fucked up or anything like that.
00:24:23
Speaker
There's nothing better than being a stay to hold dad. Cause you just kind of gather them in a, in a huddle. I've given up on any semblance of control when it comes to my children. It's just, they're going to do whatever the hell they want. It doesn't matter if you spank them, it doesn't matter if you have them do a thousand pushups. It don't matter if you take every electronic on planet earth away from them, they're going to keep being assholes.
00:24:47
Speaker
Oh, yeah, and they'll they will do the opposite of whatever. yeah Hey, go deliver advice ah brush your teeth and and get ready for bed. OK, and just go get in bed. OK. Half an hour later, they'll be up there screwing around. Have you brushed your teeth yet? No. What have you been doing? what the Why is the bathroom ceiling wet? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have your kids have your kids learned how to wet the toilet paper, make it stick to the walls yet?
00:25:18
Speaker
I have had all the time as a kid, man. Oh, I'm going to teach your kids some stuff. Let me tell you, because what I used to do is learn that fact the other day. I walked in the bathroom and I was like, what the fuck?
00:25:30
Speaker
and
00:25:34
Speaker
My neighbor came knocking on the door. What happened? Have you ever as a you better walk away or you break another arm? Have you guys ever as a kid tried to like key on the ceiling? I remember doing that like at five trying to pee on the ceiling. I don't remember. Okay, so for jimmys bird did you make it? did hit still I did. I did. I made it. I did. regulation But I couldn't dry it was the problem. So my mom got dry and it's yellow on the roof. yellowl yeah no there's nothing She can do about that one, you know, so my dad would be in prison and I would be dead.
00:26:12
Speaker
Well, you guys say that you were saying the wet toilet paper thing. My kids just, I just want them to pee in the toilet. Their aim is so bad. I am zero problem with that. The problem I have is, I don't know what it is about my kids and when they take a shower or a bath, but I swear to God, they get it downstairs. They get the water downstairs. Yes. Like the other day my kids were taking a shower, you know, individually. like and And I'm sitting down here, I was doing so I was working. And I started noticing water prickling down the stairs. and I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Who's showing? Really? Are you using a hose? Thank God I don't have carpet. Wait, how did they how did they flood it? Were they in the bath or are they in the shower? I don't have a bath. but We don't have a bath because Mexico doesn't have like I've never seen a house in Mexico with a bath.
00:27:10
Speaker
ah huh Except for the one I helped install one. But what they they they took the shower head off. So instead of a stream instead of a shower stream, it was a solid stream. And they left the shower curtain open and the yeah floor to the top of the shower ah area is only about four inches.
00:27:35
Speaker
It's like a, you know, block a row of blocks. All right. Yeah. It was going over that because it was so powerful and just slowly trickling down the stairs. I was killing myself going to the stairs. You know, kids, so my country is slippery when wet bathtub has ah the shower bathtub combo and they have a shower curtain. If that shower curtains outside the bathtub, when they're taking a shower, then it floods the whole freaking bathroom. I got carpet in the hallway and the carpet will get wet.
00:28:06
Speaker
Yeah. However, it does give you the chance to apply a new shop back. See, Connor, I have a problem with that because there's stairs. Rock, believe it or not, since my last surgery, stairs not as big of an issue. Still moderately problematic, but not nearly as big. Water come down your stairs. All your stairs are wood. Aren't they? They didn't swell up and you have to replace all the sheds. Yeah.
00:28:36
Speaker
So like two or three weeks ago, my wife and I were on Zillow. We were just kind of like looking at houses for fun because we live in the fucking hood and we didn't realize that when we bought the house. But anyway, anyway I digress on that. We were looking, we found our current house on Zillow and we looked at it and we looked at like the historical photos of it. And six years ago, six years ago, the floors in this house house, which are original to this house, which was built in 1909 were perfect.
00:29:06
Speaker
I mean, beautiful. Six years ago. Yeah, they sold the house six years ago and rented it out for six years straight. Oof. Oh, wow. And in that amount of time, these floors have become, they look like they're 300 years old. I don't know. And I got so fucking mad. And then I went into the laundry room the other day and I had to move the the washing machine out of the way so that I could get back behind because I dropped a a fucking piece of clothing back there.
00:29:34
Speaker
And when I stepped on where the washer goes, it was soft. No. I have hardwood. And I was like, I'm just going to pretend. I love a hardwood floor, but Jesus Christ. I'm going to pretend that that was a sponge. And I'm just going to back out of here at what I need. It's not a problem until I see it with eyeballs and I don't just feel it. Yeah. I would love hardwood floors.
00:30:02
Speaker
ah just They're so expensive, man. They are. They are so expensive. Even the older ones. the I did find a a set. like its They almost fit like tile. Yeah, Benji, you're right. I work in the industry. I 1000 percent. Yeah, that's just yeah let's move on. let's yeah ah You're going to find you're going to find your the basement one day.
00:30:30
Speaker
Just leave it to blame it on the kids. So when the kids go and i they fall into it, be like, what did you do? Yeah. Oh, dude, I blame my kids for everything. My wife thinks I'm a goddamn saint. Why is this broken? I didn't fucking do it. Meanwhile, I have the hammer in my hand. All right. yeah can we Can we just can we just admit have you, Jeff? um um um Jeff, have you blamed? Have you blamed them for something you've done once or twice?
00:31:00
Speaker
why like why youre telling him run zero all show the kids out look at in two days That is ridiculous. i've i've got a great so that you think i have him like yeah it oh got this i got okay so So I blame my kids for something that they ended up not it wasn't even their fault Me and the wife went out I had I got a first of all my kids my oldest daughter is 24 She's in the military she's already out of the house. Then I have 21 18 and 13 that are here. So this is when they were younger and Older brothers watching the two younger brothers, they're playing video games. me and mom finally got Me and the wife finally got to go out and have dinner and drinks a night to ourselves, right? Well, we got pretty drunk. We Uber there, Uber back. And I came in. I was like, hey, guys, what's going on? with good case We had a great night. I came walking to the house. What's going on, guys? ah Everything good? Yeah, they got pizza. I'm like, cool. They actually were responsible. I didn't see my wife behind me. I thought my wife just went straight to the bedroom behind me.
00:32:00
Speaker
and but she didn't, but that'll come later. So she disappeared. She went to the room, I thought, and I went to use the restroom. When I went to use the restroom, I seen that the toilet seat was totally ripped off. The top lid, then the cushion you sit on, was ripped off and inside the trash can next to the toilet and in the bathroom. And I was like, what in the hell happened here? Go back in there and tell the boys, hey, boys, ah what happened with the toilet? All of them look at me. I don't know.
00:32:28
Speaker
I was like, come on guys, it's cool. You're sticking up with your, for your brothers. But what happened to toilet? I don't know what happened. And then I'm getting upset. I'm like, you fucking lying. You're lying about the toilet. but You broke the toilet and you're lying to me, but deal with the guys tomorrow. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm being a jerk dad. dream what i'm so They were so mad. at They were so pissed. And then, so I go to the bed and we woke up in the morning and I'm driving, uh,
00:32:53
Speaker
me and the wife are driving and she's like, Hey, the kids are so pissed to you. I go, why? She goes, you got upset at them. I go, babe, they broke the toilet. And she goes, Oh my God. yeah um so what She said what what she did, she went into the bathroom and and she was going pee.
00:33:10
Speaker
got She was drunk, mind you, and she got dizzy and she fell. She leaped held on to the seat of the toilet and fell. And and then got up and went to bed.
Childhood Mischief and Memories
00:33:20
Speaker
And so I went into the restroom and I saw a busted toilet and I was like, my kids broke the damn toilet. yeah So I guess I was so upset. The kids weren't talking to me. And for for me, the way I fixed it, I was like, look, guys, I'm sorry, I apologize. I'm driving with the boys in the back of the car.
00:33:36
Speaker
I'll let you guys cuss me out until we get home, free, say whatever you want. My two older boys didn't say nothing. And my youngest, he was probably eight, the sweetest kid. He's the sweetest kid. The other boys weren't saying nothing. And then my youngest looks at them and he looks at me because he was the most mad at me. He's like, you guys aren't going to say nothing? He goes, that's dad. He's a fucking bitch. I was like, whoa.
00:34:05
Speaker
Hold the e-brake. What the fuck? I was like, okay, we're done. We're even reaving. We're not allowed to cut some more. Also, boys, if your brother comes into school in the back, I don't worry about it. That is crazy, man. Yeah, so that's funny. I can't really think of anything I like immediate anger that I would feel. I would be furious as soon as the fucking game out of their mouth. Dad's a fucking anything is not a good way to start a sentence.
00:34:43
Speaker
And he was so disappointed in his older older brothers for not saying nothing. Like they were being quiet. Because they've learned from their past experience. they yeah He was like, you guys, say something. That's a fucking bitch. No, they haven't finished carving my gravestone yet.
00:35:00
Speaker
yeah That's great. man that's great i definitely as a kid got ah Like I got I took the blame for stuff in order to get favors out of my siblings. So I would like yeah yeah i would have thought of that. yeah Yeah. Oh, I cashed in big time, man. I was getting allowances for there's four of us. So anytime they messed up, they would just come in. Hey, like hey, rock. can You got an allowance.
00:35:26
Speaker
Yeah, they got. Yes. yeah Yeah. Not me. and I was always in trouble. I was always in trouble. i didnt ah But I was, you know what I mean? i wanted to figure out who was just I don't have any of it. I want to live with your family where I got it. No, it was it was cool. My mom gave us we got five bucks every month and it was like it was cool. Wow. We got it. We got to use it on the ice cream truck and and all that good stuff. But I would cash out big time. I get to see. I can see 25 bucks. I can't. I can't. All of us brothers are standing up on the porch and fucking teasing. Yeah. Fuck you, bitch. I have a question for you guys. um if you ever Did you ever do something as a kid and get away with it? And then years later, you know, in your 20s and 30s, tell your parents about it? Like, did you know I did that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm here. my My kids are telling me stories now, stuff that I didn't know. They're telling me that. And I'm like, you turd.
00:36:26
Speaker
I feel like you're not, you're not 18 yet. no i'm talking like older one vito The last time my dad was in town, we were sitting around drinking beer with, with a couple of buddies and and shooting the shit. And dad mentioned that he just sold the tractor that he bought brand new in 1986. Well, in 92.
00:36:49
Speaker
My cousin from Chicago had come down and before dad left before dad left work, he's like, we had just filled in a creek. And he's like, while I'm away, there's there's an old mattress that the the the um fabric's all gone. So it was just the springs. He wanted to use it to pull behind the tractor and level it out.
00:37:17
Speaker
And he's like, it's it's buried. You know, it's been there since God was a boy. And he's like, if you guys can get that out, I'll give you 10 bucks. Well, I knew where the dad kept the keys to the tractor. And I'd never driven the tractor without dad around. So I went to the bar and got the tractor out. and We tried to chain to it. And I didn't realize that my my brother had put the tractor in the highest setting for highest speed.
00:37:47
Speaker
And I dumped the clutch on that motherfucker at like four grand. And it stood straight up. yeah And then stalled out. It fucking fall back on you. That was what I was thinking about. It stalled out. And then ah after that, I climbed down and then it slowly just landed back on its wheels. And I told my cousin, let's get this thing out of here. Park that thing. We're never going to tell my dad.
00:38:16
Speaker
And I told my dad that story and he's like, you're a fucking asshole. <unk>s That's funny. That's crazy. but That's crazy expensive. I haven't done anything like that. That's that's just insane. Well, oddly enough, it was it was in mint condition still. It was so lazy. i late going on and What's up, everyone? How's it going? Same old shit. Hey.
00:38:42
Speaker
what What about like rock you, Rocky? Were you the one that asked the question? Did you ever? Oh, yeah. Look, my my grandmother had this, you know, those old school, it's super heavy, real wood glass, like wood and glass tables. My grandmother had the table for like you like, I'm talking a long time. Her her great grandmother had this table.
00:39:06
Speaker
Well, when I was a kid, I was very much so into WWE or WWF at the time. no Yeah, so I ah I thought it would be very, very funny to take my little brother and give him the people's elbow because I've been here in the rock. and naturally So long as I laid him out and he laid on the table and I thought I was just going to, you know, fake it on on his on his tummy. No, I completely fell. It slipped on my socks through him. He went through the table. oh ah Thankfully, he was fine, by the way. He was OK, but I had just this table was I went to the garage. My grandpa had wood glue and super glue and I put that whole table together in three hours. I put the whole thing together at three hours. She never found out, never found out. um Actually, so it was funny enough, it was my grandfather's funeral. My ass would have been like, never there was an earthquake? Like, there's no one in the world. yeah it was was at My grandfatherfas like grandfather's funeral, maybe, was that four years ago, was when I told her. And it was as a joke. Like, I was just like, yeah, I broke that table.
00:40:21
Speaker
So I know that real furniture like real men like him were made that period in that period of time. um But so was that table, because I mean, I don't know how it survived. But I put that thing back together. And I had no idea what I was doing. I was freaking nine years old. So Yeah. I'm talking glass, man. I glued glass together. I don't know how. I don't know how. You did an amazing job of nobody doing it. You're being a little kid that fucks up. You're like, I'm going to glue this glass back together perfectly. Nobody's going to know this. We went back together. I couldn't believe it. Oh, man. Yeah. So that was fun.
00:41:02
Speaker
i I had one that didn't last that long. It lasted maybe a good seven years, but I did end up getting caught. Me, I still lived at home. I was probably 13, my younger brothers, four years younger than me. We were wrestling. You remind me because you're you're talking about WWE. We're wrestling in in my room. My room leads to,
00:41:22
Speaker
the living room outside and we're wrestling and he threw me towards the wall and I went to stop myself. Mind you, re live we didn't have, we weren't rich. This was a cheap house. that The walls were very thin. There was no insulation.
00:41:36
Speaker
And he threw me against the wall. I went to stop myself. My arm went totally through the wall, through the other side into the living room. So my hand is outside into the living room. So there's a giant hole that you can't miss when you walk into the house. So what I do, I moved my dad's gun shelf.
00:41:54
Speaker
in front of the hole and he just thought my mom moved it and he never that damn time. I put a whole picture on my side so nobody knew until we're moving. He's like, what happened here? I was like, oh,
00:42:12
Speaker
yeah yeah know miss barley what do know finding I don't have any stories to add to this because my mom just called me in the middle of this little segment we're having. a like i'm not going to say thatloration ah bob bomb even answer the phone god lover no man like He's like, I never did anything wrong my whole time. man no I was i hu was upstairs practicing karate moves next to the bookshelf. And I thought to myself, you know, that bookshelf's made of wood. I see them break boards. Like, I bet I could break. I took my elbow. and more straight through the middle of that bookshelf on like one of the edge pieces so that it wouldn't break the whole bookshelf. And that edge piece just snapped right off. but It's like loud as fuck. in My parents thought you were cool as shit though. I bet it was amazing. I quickly picked up the piece that fell on the floor. I cut my elbow with it and then fell on the floor.
00:43:18
Speaker
I could just eat afterwards. Afterwards, you're probably just I think I think I'm Chuck Norris right now. Yeah, as in on the dude i walk towards that sudden boost and confidence like water on my friend yeah yeah yeah for sure the I mean, that would give me a but I'll say I'll say this, Chaka, I, I would have such anxiety.
00:43:40
Speaker
like that they would find out that they're in the same room as that whole. I'd be like, I hope they don't fucking look fine. Yeah. I think it would be easier as time went on. You know, as time went on, I could just say it wasn't me. But like I would be that first two weeks, man, just sitting on the couch staring at the gun cabinet. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:09
Speaker
The reason it was wasn't a big deal when he found it is because me and my brothers destroyed that house. That was the least a little hole like that. He was probably like, eh. I remember the other time my brother was doing front flips on the bed. His bed's right by the window in the room. I don't know how he didn't get hurt, but he did a front flip and then out the window, the story down, landed on his butt and was looking at them.
00:44:28
Speaker
He never did not seem to get hurt at all, but he flipped out the window. We just destroyed that whole house. It was just everything was messed up. See, I've decided that drywall is actually not nearly as as as expensive as I thought it was. The problem that I have with having to fix drywall holes in my house because my two boys are absolute fucking animals who belong outdoors.
00:44:51
Speaker
um What I've realized is it's not the cost and it's a drywall the dry yeah it's the fixing the fucking drywall that sucks No, I can't fix it why don't you fucking fix it yeah yeah my My grandfather built the house my parents bought. ah they I think we moved in. I was like five. And it set on 27 acres and it had a two-car garage. And my cousin and I used to climb on the roof of the two-car garage for no reason whatsoever. And we would jump off of it.
00:45:36
Speaker
because we're stupid but before we would jump off we would be nervous about jumping off so we would rip off tingles and throw them down and see how far it was and then when the roof the roof of the two car garage started leaking my dad was like huh and so she and then we get up on the duke guardage start taking off shingles He's like, there's so many **** shingles missing. Never found out. Never found out. Oh, they're saying I'm in the **** yard. The storage is dad. yeah It's **** windy last night. I'm just saying. That's my that's my brother in the cat right there. He just said, yeah, I remember that. Not a single scratch when I got the window. I don't think I've ever gone through. that You're crazy, man. You're crazy. Just went straight through the window. What's wrong with you?
00:46:24
Speaker
I've fallen falling off of shit where like as soon as you slip, you have that like heart, that gut wrenching feeling where you're like, fuck, this is gonna really hurt. This is gonna suck when I land. But I've never gone through a window. It's usually like when I was a kid, you know, you climb on top of the play set and then you climb on top of the, on top of the play set where like nothing's higher than you. And your buddy's at the bottom like, jump! And you're like, yeah, you're too scared. And then you fucking do it. And you're like, oh, fuck.
00:46:54
Speaker
And you get you get you get that weird tingle from your ankles all the way to your head. yeah And you go, whoa, that was a terrible fucking idea. Let me do it again. home that That might actually be bad. There's so many crazy stories going on in that same house, because you were saying you were jumping off jumping off the building.
00:47:17
Speaker
Yeah, we mean mean like the we were the neighbors We were jumping off their shed because we were all a little group of kids jumping off the shed in order to hang out with us You had to jump off the shed too. We all did we all did it My little brother my my brother's friend his name was one I said, yeah one if you're watching this I'm telling the story and one you this one guja story one good story one so We all jumped off the shed and there was just like a dirt and and pebbles, that umground you know, it was maybe 15, 20 feet. All right. So it was Juan's turn to do it. And he jumps off. This is his house. He's our neighbor. And he jumps off and he goes into the ground. What happened was they had a septic tank that was like barely on the ground. And and he he went through it and he was all bad Chris. Do you remember that? He's in the chat. movie he He went out. He was like waist deep in an old septic tank.
00:48:11
Speaker
ah Okay, we need to rename this stream to tuck and roll from the second story. Yeah. yeah ah So honestly, I just planned on coming up here and having a little bit of fun because Monday nights are usually so serious. And you you bring up a really good point. This is just one.
00:48:30
Speaker
No, but the the beauty of a show like this is. Oh, and it's therapeutic. It's therapeutic to just kind of forget everything for the two hours we're going to be up here and just fucking tell some stories. Yes. um Because nobody wants to hear about the everyday struggle of mundane shit, you know, that everybody's going through. Like, yeah, we get it, dude. So, agree. You know, math laughter being the best medicine.
00:49:00
Speaker
Um, you know, there's, there's days where, uh, and Connor, you know, this we're, we're both, we're cut from the same clock. There's days where it's like, do I really need to get out of bed today? um
Therapeutic Storytelling and Family Mishaps
00:49:14
Speaker
I wonder how bad that lead bill tastes. Really that bad for me. I'm just saying.
00:49:23
Speaker
it's been
00:49:26
Speaker
ah just just i thoughtsec there that was like i a lot of words and i saw again time to release but what blood poison in that really bad ah But you know and and yeah, sometimes it's good to get those thoughts off your chest But sometimes it's it's good to ignore them and just fucking shoot the shit Yeah yeah Which is sort kind of my thought tonight. That was, that was the same thing that we did the last time that it was just me and Jeff up here. Yeah. And then we call hell for it. Shut up. Nobody asked you. need two Saturday nights. this I like that mentality. ah te that's ah Chris wanted me to tell the Wolverine story. a dream story about it got so Okay. I remember we were older. Were you up in Canada hunting Wolverines for the summer?
00:50:20
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So we have to roll into break. I think this is yeah perfect. and make It's going to make people want to come back for the second half of this show. Stay tuned to hear the Wolverine story. Yeah, I'm coming next. We got a fucking cliffhanger on our hands, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, we have the Wolverine story from Johnny. You got a song already picked out there, Connor? I'm rolling with it now. I'm about to just like close my eyes. Copy that.
00:50:48
Speaker
Nice. ah Yeah, we're going to roll ah save the soft behind and we will see you guys in just a second.
00:54:29
Speaker
Yeah, I like that song that saved me by shinedown for a while. This is a good song. Welcome back, everybody, to Nonsense Network. We are watching. We're doing Men Caring for Men tonight. And we're kind of doing a little road check, a little summary kind of thing. You can follow us everywhere at bio.link slash nonsensical network. You can find all our episodes on our YouTube channel. And of course, don't forget to get some merch. Spread us on you.
00:55:02
Speaker
at nonsensical dash nonsense.myspreadshop.com. Check out our merch. What? Fuck you. Blade started. I love that. I love that so much, man. Apparently, when I do it, it's creepy. That gummy is finally starting to kick in, too. So everything's going to be a little ge giggly. So, Chuck, what is the story about the Wolverines?
00:55:28
Speaker
Which one? It would be the it would be the Hugh Jackman Wolverine. And if my brother still the check, Chris, if you're still here, man, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought we were older during this. I guess I think we were in high school age, you know, and I don't know why he wants to tell us, but it was funny. um So I think my it was my dad took us out to a restaurant.
00:55:47
Speaker
We had a really nice I want to say breakfast. I got like pancake and eggs. My brother, my brother got his breakfast. My dad got a big old pan steak. My other little brothers there. And we're just doing ah father, son breakfast. This is what I remember. Chris, tell me if I'm wrong. ah it It was damn near an adult. OK, yeah. So we were I think we might have even been moved out already. So we're adults now. And we're hanging out with my dad eating a good breakfast.
00:56:16
Speaker
And Chris is just being quiet. He's in the corner and he's playing with the the the spoons and or the spoons and the knives and he's putting them you know in his hands like this while we're talking and everything. and in And then we look over and we have probably had about 20 minute conversations and Chris is still over there just putting everything like this grown ass adult.
00:56:34
Speaker
And then we look up at him and he's like, look, I'm Wolverine. And he goes, check and he knocks over orange juice, ruins our whole fucking meal and breaks the glass and just doused my dad with orange juice. and ruined all We just got our food, ruined all our milk and we're just all our pancakes and stuff. And ah we're just looking at him like, but why did why did you do that? You're you're you're ah you know you're a grown man now. but and that And that was the Wolverine story. he he said, look, we'll reinshink and then ruined our dinner. You know, that actually reminds me of a story. My mom had cooked. She had went out like she'd gotten a really good deal on stinks. And she made steaks that night with mashed potatoes, the whole fucking nine yards. Right. And when I was a kid during dinner, you could not drink. So he had to drink milk. And I love milk going on. So it was no big deal. But I was sitting next to my dad and
00:57:34
Speaker
I was telling everybody about my day and I accidentally knocked my milk over and it spilled all over my dad's plate. Dad didn't miss a beat, dude. He just kept cutting his steak. He's like, fuck it.
00:57:48
Speaker
infert regardless. So, he's going to eat that one. That was that was an easy decision though. All you gotta to do is take the plate, give it to you, and then take your **** drive plate. And that's what I said. I said, I'll take it. and He's like, **** you. Whatever. else yeah Well, it it might have been. I don't remember a mistake or my mom, my uncle my my grandfather's brother Holy shit, dude. Yeah. He had showed us a way new way to make pork chops, where you actually take your pork chops, you put them in a Pyrex pan, and you fill that Pyrex pan up with milk, just till it's just to the top of the pork chops. Then you sprinkle cornflakes over it and bake them. The juiciest pork chops you'll ever eat. What is a Pyrex pan? It's one of those glass. It's a big glass. A big glass that doesn't shatter.
00:58:40
Speaker
Did you put it? Yeah. Yeah, that's not true. but definitely shattered They Well, they can. but They're shatter resistant. They won't break when you bake in. Yes. No, that's what I'm saying. That's false. I've proven it by accident. Yeah. but yeah ah I have to answer. It might have been those. I don't remember if it was the steaks or if it was pork chops. But Dad just, he just didn't care. He's like, it's been a long fucking day.
00:59:09
Speaker
Right. You weren't going to push him off that. He was going to enjoy that. It was the last fucking thing I ever did. yeah very It was one of like, he said he's got ma milk in his mashed potatoes. He's like, fuck it. You need milk to make mashed potatoes, whatever. you But it was like, I know we i had a glass that had to be like this fucking big, full. And I knocked the whole thing over. It's on his lap. He didn't even move. He was just like.
00:59:34
Speaker
that was like the The reason that I know that I don't have nearly as much patience as my parents did is because my parents had way stricter rules that we knew really well how to follow at the dinner table. And I just don't fucking care at this point. Well, it's funny. It's it's like what Chaka was saying about his kid calling a five. If I would have said that in any context to my parents, I would not be here to date. I would have been dead.
01:00:07
Speaker
I don't think I ever did. Maybe i don't i don't I don't think I did though. I have a question. We have an answer. Well, we've all gotten to that age where we remember the stupid shit we did in our teams where we're kind of pushing the limit of what we can get away with. Anybody ever try to fight their dad?
01:00:34
Speaker
I mean, ah we've gotten to some heated arguments. I don't mean. big I mean, I remember catching the belt one time, catching it, holding onto it. And I thought he's going to kill me. I was like, I cannot hold to this thing for life, because this is the only thing keeping me alive. I refuse to let go forever. We will be buried like this. Because if he gets it free, I will die. No, I remember one time we we were actually getting ready to go on a family trip, we were driving out of Chicago to go with family like for a family reunion. And my dad and I got into it and I threw everything I had in my hand down. I said, let's go right here right now. Worst decision ever. I woke up in the van and we were like an hour down the road. Yeah. Because he swung once and I and don't remember anything else.
01:01:30
Speaker
And it was seven hours in the car dead fucking silent. It's it's hilarious. Not saying it is hysterical to me just because I live right probably like a quarter mile up the road from the the local high school.
01:01:49
Speaker
And so a lot of the kids walk by the house a lot on the way to school. And I sit on the porch a lot. And I sit and vape and relax, drink coffee, monster. When you're gone. Yeah. yeah yeah you know excuse me Do you know which way the high school is? Back the way you fucking came.
01:02:09
Speaker
The old family guy reference. I'm not actually racist. I don't care what anybody says. That's funny as shit. You guys want to take a gun? You're going to school. But they walk by the house a lot. and they like they They talk so much shit. They're fucking terrible little kids. And they talk like they fight and adult. And I'm like, dude, you're 16. I don't think you understand because I realize now a 16 year old doesn't handle a shot from a grown man. Well,
01:02:42
Speaker
I mean, unless you're like Tyson, a once in a generation person. No, no. Like, dude, kid, you don't want to find fucking walk down the street and get ruined. Have a good day. Oh, I agree. But like.
01:02:58
Speaker
I remember the point and at which my dad said, you know what? I'm not going to be hands on with you. I was 16. I was 16 and I had messed up and dad came to my room. I don't even remember what I did. It was probably something to do with like not doing my fucking homework because I hated school. But like he came in. My mom wants me to beat your ass, but I'm just going to take your phone away because I don't feel like doing that anymore.
01:03:29
Speaker
I was there you go like, happened? It didn't register. I was like, well, I mean, he didn't. And I realized now that like, that was, uh, that's when he decided he wasn't going to fucking touch me anymore. just Maybe maybe he's good. I'm going to be a whole different way. Like, hey, champ, you know what? You did your best out there today, but you really fucked up. So now I can no longer parent you. Sorry. I love I love how you said your dad called you champ. That never happened. I think my dad, I think my dad, when I was between the ages of birth until about 15, my dad said about four words to me. do um Don't get me wrong. I love my dad.
01:04:18
Speaker
And I love you, we're not them. It just wasn't reciprocated, is that what you're saying? No, it's one of those things that's like, my daddy's just a stoic guy. Like, he, I attribute my dad to like, Silent Bob. He doesn't talk very often, but what he does, you're fucking listening because he's got something to say. Yeah, that makes sense. That does make sense. When I was about 13 years old, my brother and I did something stupid. I don't remember what we did. And my mom, you know, we're having a,
01:04:48
Speaker
My dad and I had rebuilt the basement into a, you know, a TV room. And we're down there. Mom and dad are giving us hell for it. And mom goes, you know what? Just beat them both. And my dad pulled out a cutting board. who Had a hand on it. And my brother never got hit that day because he broke the cutting board on my ass.
01:05:12
Speaker
And they laughed so hard at the fact that my ass had taken so many beatings that the cutting board couldn't hold up. And my brother got away with Scott Breit. So my dad, he said, after they got off the ground laughing. Did you right that wrong later on?
01:05:28
Speaker
No, you know what they did? They said, from now on, we're never going to hit you again. And I was like, really? We can get away with anything. No, no, no, no, no. We're going to do what your uncle did. You like to work out. I was like, I love to work out. I work, you know, I was, you know, on the track team and I'm on the wrestling team and all that stuff. So I used to spend life in the fucking gym. And they said, my mom went upstairs and got two empty gallons of ah milk.
01:05:57
Speaker
and fill them halfway up for water. And she said, the next time you get in trouble, you're going to stand with your arms out holding these milks. And if they drop, you get another 10 minutes. I do that to my kids now because I don't like to hit my kids because... Same. But I have this thing, like, if my kids fuck up enough, I will reluctantly spank them.
01:06:23
Speaker
But I don't like to do it because when I got spanked, I would, you know, I'd sit in my room for 45 minutes called it's fucking off kill you um and I'm like, yeah one of these days he's going to kill me. So yeah ah I started doing the milk thing.
01:06:37
Speaker
My kids never
Family Dynamics and Arguments
01:06:38
Speaker
fuck up now because after 15, 20 minutes, I get all my parenting tips from Guantanamo Bay. Dude, I said, which one of you didn't flush the toilet? it mother title Waterboarding.
01:06:53
Speaker
am i you the answer or somebody's gonna drown me it's one of the two I'm at the point now where I don't I'm just too old to even. ah To get bad really they do something wrong. I'm like, yeah try fifty two fifty three I'm 40. I'm 43 I'm 43 but my dad though. My dad is it no matter what? I'm the oldest motherfucker on you. Oh, that's I don't know You're older what makes you look young though. I know right? Have you guys seen the movie pooty tang?
01:07:27
Speaker
I love that movie. and so My dad was, the putty thing was the belt. The way he did that, yeah had it was an art form. he was quick and I was like, all right. you knows and iron don't point we can with Culture shock moment. oh jesus my My wife, very, very Mexican. Very, very Italian. But her Mexican-ness overwhelms the Italian.
01:07:55
Speaker
That woman could throw a sandal. Yes. It is she part Asian, too. No, no. My in in Mexico, everybody, especially where I live in Cancun, it's 10,000 degrees outside. Nobody wears fucking tennis shoes. It's too hot. But my wife will literally. I i can I can pop beer cans at 150 yards, no problem.
01:08:21
Speaker
with it with with a gun. My wife can do it with a fucking chonkla. She's a sniper. Jesus, Jesus Christ. Just an absolute fucking headhunter.
01:08:33
Speaker
I've literally seen my wife be in the kitchen and my kids will be over here in the corner, fucking around, and she'll go right past my face and hit the kid. And I'm like, nice. i certainly I truly believe that that is a superpower that's in ah just developed with Hispanic women. yeah when When they hit a certain age, it was just a chunk of it. It just happened. My wife's the same way.
01:08:57
Speaker
But you never want to see my wife and I argue because I'm German-Irish and she's Italian-Mexican, which means when we fight, world's end. Because neither one of us will ever admit we're wrong. Don't walk into Jeff's house. It's World War III. I've literally had my neighbor that is, there's 46 houses, I'm going to say 86 houses in this big horseshoe we live in.
01:09:25
Speaker
And house number one is the farthest away from us. I've had the neighbor come over from house number one going, dude, you guys OK? What are you talking about? We heard you yelling. I'm like, dude, you're like 100 yards away. He's like, oh, we heard it. I was like. Did you answer the door dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Smith? It's like everything's fine. Yeah. Go about your business. Now, after that, after that. This one delicious bloodstream going down the side. Yeah. After that weekend in jail and I broke my neighbor's arm, nobody fucks with me now. They're like, fuck that little short white guy because Jesus Christ.
01:10:03
Speaker
I don't even think Johnny was the one who killed his dog, man. I think it was. But you broke his arm. He broke Johnny's arm anyway, dude. There was three cops out here and I smashed this dude's head on the cop car. everybody The actual fuck.
01:10:21
Speaker
He killed my dog. He killed my and No way. I broke his arm and smashed his head on the hood of a cop car. He fucking deserves it, then. That's what I said. And that's what the cops say. God damn it. We've got to buff this out now. You fucked it up. Our hood's all messed up. That's why that's why I ended up going to jail. Not because I broke the dude's arm. Not because I said you fucked up the park cop car. Because I did it on a cop car and dead in the hood.
01:10:49
Speaker
And they're like, we were gonna let it go. And I was like, really? I could spend 36 hours in fucking holding cell? Because you guys fucking paint job got fucked up. I'll buff it out. I got a buffer. Don't worry about it. And they're like, no, sorry, we can't. Well, they didn't know that in your own car, dickhead. No, I love my car so much.
01:11:13
Speaker
You know how hard it is to get a dent out of a ah fucking fiberglass? Like, no, no, no, no. I'd rather smash on your fucking hood and be arrested. That's fine. So so when you walk through that messed up when you walked into the cell, was it like the movies you walked in there? Like, what what are you in for? And you're like, I smash a dude's head on a cop car. No, honestly, the funny thing is, is they they put me in the drunk tank because any time you get arrested, they get you get put in the drunk tank. And if you can, you have two options. To pay the bill.
01:11:43
Speaker
and get out or stay for 36 hours. And I was like, how much is the bill? And they're like 10,000 pesos. I was like, I'll see you in 36 hours, boys. Because I'm not paying that because I broke some fucking asshole's arm. And so I get in there and of course, everybody in there speaks Spanish. And they're in the I walk in and and they're just like, what what are you in for? And I was like, don't worry about it.
High School Pranks and Friendships
01:12:10
Speaker
and that how but what do you just look em deadly eyes say in there and ghost chat And the thing is like, by the end of the, by the end of the 36 hours, I know there's like six guys in there with me. It's a big self. And, and they were just like, we got, we got out. There was four of us that got out at the exact same time and we went out and had a beer. Cause we were just telling stories about how we all got locked up that day.
01:12:37
Speaker
And if we end up going out, I'm here. That's a very unique body. Oh, I met Glick in high school. Jesus, you want to talk about crazy people. We were dumb. Well, you know, you know that was just a story about the first time you heard the word. Glick and I met. Glick and I, funny story about how Glick and I met. So ah we both went to a trade school. You know, it's it's like you do half the day at as regular high school, and then you learn a trade. We went to the Knox County Career Center.
01:13:05
Speaker
And we had both signed up in the same class. During orientation, my dad was like, I'm going with you. And I was like, all right, whatever. But so we get there. And I didn't have my license, because I had lost it in a drag race. So we get there. And the minute we walked in, my dad goes,
01:13:27
Speaker
Fuckin' Kenny, son of a bitch. And I went, what what the fuck? And he's like, I know your teacher. We went to high school together. and I was like, I'm not getting away with shit in this fuckin' thing. I lied and fucked. That is the smartest thing you could have come to.
01:13:42
Speaker
Well, no, the best part was when we left. That's gross. We got out of, we got out of class, out of orientation. We got in the truck and dad goes, you fuck up as much as possible. That guy's a fucking asshole. And I'll look at anything to punch him in the mouth. Apparently, this guy in high school was one of those mommy and daddy gave me everything and I'm richer than you. Fuck you. And my dad has worked for everything in his life, you know. ah So,
01:14:12
Speaker
When I walked into class first day, I see Glick, this giant fucking beast of a boy. And I was like, big guy. I'm going to be friends with that dude. And we hit it off like that. And he just sits you on his shoulder and he's like, come with me, little guy. I go fucking parrot from.
01:14:32
Speaker
But here's the funny thing. Our class became so tight. Because in our class, each class in this career center, you would have all your classes together for two years. So we've come to knock down drag out fights. That's a long time to get to know each other, especially when you're in your adolescence. We've come to knock down drag out fights between the class And then we'd get, you know, other classes wouldn't fuck with our class because we had six giant dudes just like Glick in there that would go fight to the death for each one of us. But these assholes, one day in class,
01:15:14
Speaker
For some reason, and I never participated, because you guys I was like, you guys are all six foot 300 fucking pounds, I'm not playing this game. Decided in the locker room, you know because you get there and you have to go in the locker room and change and do you work close. These guys decided, because we had about 20 minutes to do so, to start a body to body contest in the fucking locker room. For no reason, because everybody thought they were Johnny badass. Wow.
01:15:40
Speaker
which obviously not even na but And And the rule was waist up and neck down. And I was like, yeah, I'm not playing this game, boys. I got a hammer. I will pop you on the fucking head. Touch me.
01:15:57
Speaker
yeah yeah OK, not playing. But oh, my God, we click on who's getting so much trouble. Because you put us in the room you know you've seen Glick and I on here together. We're trying to get each other shit. It hasn't changed since high school.
01:16:16
Speaker
there was we we used to They had a what they called a children's garden that we were building. And we learned concrete for two fucking years. And they decided to take an old one of those giant satellite dishes, the ones that are like 10 feet across.
01:16:32
Speaker
yeah and and mount it on a pole upside down and put a spiral staircase on it with a platform and grow moss on it to be like a for the children's garden so kids could go up and play in it like a fort. Sounds awful. It was actually kind of cool. And we got it all welded up and built and they were like, we got to paint it and Glick and I were like, we'll do it. Fucking. And the teacher went, not you fucking do.
01:17:01
Speaker
They'll be paint all over this motherfucker. And we went, what are you talking? We're responsible. No, you're not. Okay. that's Because they were like, there will be paint everywhere. And we were like, you know, fair enough. Did they end up letting you do it or no? No, no. They wouldn't let us fucking near it. Not even remotely. They made the most decision possible. No, well, we built, we had to build these, you know, you remember Lincoln Long's?
01:17:31
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. Those were the best. we took We took eight by eight logs, well, square beams, and we would cut notches we cut notches out of them with a circular saw. And then you break off the notches. what you You do a bunch of passes to cut out the notch. And they built these giant forts with them. um So he put us on that. And we quickly realized that once you yeah you're you're saw him down about four or five inches deep, and then you'd have about 25 thin pieces of wood that you'd have to break out. Well, we quickly realized if you swing up at those, they will fly clear across the shop. We turned the game into that, and they only let us do it for one day, then they put us on another project. Well, did you guys have hard hats? What the fuck's going on there? Well, we had hard hats. we We constantly got in trouble for not wearing.
01:18:29
Speaker
because we didn't want to look stupid. Well, that's the day you want to wear them. If you're flinging chunks, chunks of wood across. Oh, yeah. Well, the best story ever from those days was the school bought a brand new pressure washer. Oh, shit. and They let you have access to it. Oh, yeah, we had access to every tool there. And it came with nine different tips that you could put on. And we realized that the small tip with enough pressure would cut a two by four and a half. But was funny about it. Oh, yeah. The way that it would cut a two by four and a half. It took you about a minute, but it would cut a two by four. It doesn't matter. That's going to be fucked up if you use that on somebody else. Oh, no. Glick did. Glick got in his idea that it would be funny to knock people's hard hats off with it. And maybe give them damage in the process. That's fine. I mean, idiot.
01:19:28
Speaker
Our friend Vincent Morin to this day has a C on his head. Oh, man. Where Glick hit him in the forehead. No. No. He wanted him for him. Fuck. I shit you not. It was the funniest thing ever. We laughed so hard. Except for the guy that got the C carved into his forehead. To this day, we pick on Vinny. We will literally random out of nowhere hit him up on Facebook. I hit him up one day on the show. I was like, Vinny, send me a picture of your forehead. And I showed it on the show like two years ago. That's funny. That's too much. We used to do the dumbest shit, man. But they' like I said, Glick and I have got one of those relationships where we've known each other so long. We know each other's limits.
01:20:23
Speaker
I know when it's time to stop picking on him. He knows when it's time to stop picking on me. Oh, he does. He has a C on his forehead. Like, it looks, you know, you know the the, what is it? The Chicago football helmet's logo. It looks like that. It's fate now.
Sibling Rivalries and Childhood Injuries
01:20:44
Speaker
It's fate now because it's been like, what, 20 years. But, like, it was, you could see it a mile away for like six weeks.
01:20:52
Speaker
just Just big old scab. I don't like that fact that that guy get a different fact. In fact, maybe. something but So but what my brother said he said that I have a C on my forehead too. I do have a mark on my forehead from him.
01:21:09
Speaker
when we were younger, we were playing Nintendo and we had bunk beds. I don't think I was letting him play or something. So he went to get on the top bunk bed and he kicked me in the head barefoot and his big toenail o nail stuck in my bed. Jesus. So his little nasty ass toenail was stuck in my, that's why I have a C on my forehead. Dude, for life, I would give that guy every Christmas a new pair of toenail clippers for life. Yeah.
01:21:38
Speaker
maya My brother and I had bunk beds for a while. You remember those old milk crates from from height from school when they would bring those little cartons? Oh, yeah get for long yeah. Yeah. My parents had one and I was up on the top bunk and my brother and I were throwing shit at you. And I got mad and I threw the milk crate at him and it landed on his forehead. And the corner took out a chunk out of his forehead where you could see bone.
01:22:05
Speaker
And I tried my damage to get that kid to stop crying before mom um and I think I was like 12. You're okay. obey You're fine. so You're fine. so ah We'll get you a fucking band-aid. You don't have any one of my toys, man. You know what I'm saying? And of course mom and dad heard him crying.
01:22:26
Speaker
put something put a mandate on your skill. Yeah, I wonder why. You just tried to scalp them. I can't imagine. It was like the hardest plastic ever. And this milk crate was like this fucking day. It was huge. but I dropped it on his forehead like it was nothing. I think it would be funny.
01:22:44
Speaker
ah the starting right I can imagine that. You hit that thing in the corner. I do some damage here. And oddly enough, the milk crate had been thrown around enough the like for the years we had. it that All the corners were super sharp.
01:23:03
Speaker
but that's um oh
01:23:08
Speaker
My brother and I were kids. We were outside. It was wintertime. And it had fresh, fresh snow. And we're outside throwing snowballs at each other. My dad had this old silver Oldsmobile that had the steel frame and everything. And everything was like super fucking hard. There was zero give to it.
01:23:24
Speaker
My brother decided he was going to hide from me while I was throwing snowballs. He was going to hide behind that. He went to duck down and he didn't fucking back up far enough away from the car and broke half his fucking tooth off. and All I saw was his face smack into the car and I heard him cry. And when when I hear my older brother cry, I'm like, ah, fuck, he's about to beat my ass. That's a rough one. Holy shit. and So I ran inside as fast as I could, closed the door and locked the door. And he's like, for five minutes straight, he's on the other side of the door beating the shit out of it.
01:24:04
Speaker
just suffering the poor guy. But but you got to think um that could have been your open but that could have been your face, bro. There was blood everywhere. There was blood all over his fucking shirt. every I felt like such a bad person. I was standing there going, oh, like I thought it was my fault. It was your own fucking fault. I thought he was going to kill me. Not that he was. He would have if he had gotten to you. My dad.
01:24:30
Speaker
One day, his buddy came over. My dad has always had a boat, you know, fishing boat. And his buddy came over one day and wanted to go fishing with him. So they they took the boat. And they and like this dude had this really nice fucking van. Like one of those 70s style vans with the airbrush on the side. Craig SS Pro Max. I mean, he had money in this thing. And I had, I think I was like 10. And I found an awl, like a leather awl.
01:25:00
Speaker
in the garage and I was playing with it. And for no reason whatsoever, I decided to puncture this guy's tires all the way around. ah Wait, wait, wait, there's some backstory there. For no reason. one's I used to, I used to play with, you know, I, my dad had every tool you would ever need or want. And I would constantly build up some tires.
01:25:24
Speaker
And I would, like I said, I was like nine or 10. And I was, I was pretending like I was working on this van because it was really cool van. And for no reason whatsoever, I started seeing if the all would go through the tire and it went through all four plus the spare.
01:25:41
Speaker
It was 900 dires worth of tires. Mickey Thompson 50 all the way around.
01:25:54
Speaker
They had the spare on the back. They were raised white leather Mickey Thompson tires. they were How the fuck did you live? $300 a piece. I was going to say you deserve to have your ass beat for that one. Did you say raised white? They were the white walls? No, raised white letter. Oh, oh. So basically the white wall, but the letters are white. Yeah. Damn. And Mickey Thompson's. Yeah, they were talking like 1989.
01:26:22
Speaker
It's like nobody sells Mickey Thompson's locally. You have to order them special. So did you have any time? All five tires. There are 350 bucks apiece. Oh, my God. I thought I was going to die. Nobody ever found out. Nobody found out. What? Oh, well, you got to remember, I lived on 27 Acres of Woods. I hid out in the woods for three days.
01:26:50
Speaker
I had a fort out in the woods. I would too. Are you out of your fucking mind? My dad had no idea where my fort was, and he'd go out, and he's screaming, I know you're fucking out there. Don't come back. Don't come back. You've already been put up for adoption, and we've accepted several offers. I would have given you an alarm clock that went off at the same time each day so that you knew when you were going to get your asking.
01:27:20
Speaker
we like the next month and a half. Oh, that's so hard. They didn't. They I think they knew it was me, but I never really got in trouble for it because they get off the farm. that Then they are. You guys are a big ass bullet. It was fucking insane. Well, I hope he's you still get punched in the face for that. I think I think later on in life, I told my dad about it.
01:27:47
Speaker
Is your dad still alive? Oh, yeah, it was way later in life. Is that kind of rage? Do you think he found out by an now or no?
Racing, Cars, and Legal Adventures
01:27:55
Speaker
Oh, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure he knew then. We should call him and confirm.
01:28:01
Speaker
yeah
01:28:03
Speaker
I remember that that time when all five tires blew. Remember that one time? I do remember hearing the that too.
01:28:14
Speaker
despair im goinging through the val that it would If you flattened all four, not that the spare would help, but just knowing that is your safety blanket has been compromised. I can have one-wheel drive. We're good. I can just picture to your nine-year-old self trying to light a fire in the woods near the spare too. And he's like, he found it. here I lost my binky at the house.
01:28:44
Speaker
but
01:28:48
Speaker
so outrage I mean, this thing had everything at the side vibes full mural. I mean, this guy had spent money. I like what ah Steve says down here. He said one day he's going to put you in the face. And when you get mad, he's just going to say Mickey Thompson. making him off burn up did preserving that is So spot on.
01:29:12
Speaker
Fucking all four plus despair. I do remember my dad, uh, talking about dad stories. True crime. We used to have a big old LTD. Remember those cars? Like a tank. Oh yeah. The green LTD. Like 400 meters long. Yes. This is the same house where i me and my brothers destroyed this same house. Well, my dad did some damage to it too. In the back of the house.
01:29:37
Speaker
Uh, the car garage, the brakes went out and my dad went right in, drove into the house. He ended up into the washroom, almost to the kitchen. And I was sitting at the whole house. I'm sitting there watching the Simpsons as a kid and the whole house shook and I was like, what the hell? And I look in the kitchen and I see my dad and he's just like, he's like this. And I, the half of the car, I was like, what? And I started laughing. Bye.
01:30:02
Speaker
My hair cuz my mom oh she hits me for laughing so I sat back down but ah ever since then you know but you the name got Yeah, box back down yeah they would they would they'd make fun of me cuz they would say your dad made a drive-through window at your house sorry feels like you get out a car to eat i've been laughing Since before the punchline because I keep reading that guy's comments right but i But I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put him on the show because this is the serious right there's no right if like Michael Bathurst guys are gonna be in here going this is not spiritual at all with the fuck yeah let's matt Anything anything with a vehicle I used to get in trouble with
01:30:52
Speaker
I got in trouble one time for drag racing the police chief down our hometown main drag main strip. statement is caughtter I hear a story there. Let's go. So so when I was 14, I did a summer job for my uncle. My grandfather started a business. My uncle took over when grandfather died. And on the summer, I would go and help out. I got paid a normal everyday wage just like if he was 30 and took the same job. And I was working on this one guy's house.
01:31:22
Speaker
And I walk in and I asked the guy, I said, hey, what's up? What's the car underneath the ah tarp over there? He says, oh, that fucking thing. My son bought that in high school. He was going to fix it up and make it cool. He's in college now. He's a senior in college. It's still there. Hasn't moved. I said, what is it? 1969 Chevelle. How much you want for it? He says, I'll give you 20 bucks to take it. I said, it'll be gone by the end of the day. Called my pops and I said, hey,
01:31:51
Speaker
I called him on the radio because we had radios in the truck. I said, hey, you're done for the day, right? Yeah. Grab the trailer, your truck, and meet me at this address. I'll give you $20. Signed the title by the time dad got there and handed my dad the $20 and wrenched it over the truck. By the time I was 16, I had the car on the road. 900 horsepower.
01:32:16
Speaker
And that's 20 bucks you ever fucking spent. I didn't. I didn't. It didn't even cost me anything. Basically, you got the car for free and worked on it every day after school, every minute, waking minute. I was riding on the scarf and I was dating the sheriff's daughter, Darcy, and we're off cruising. And I pull up at the light. Now, my hometown, 2000 people total.
01:32:47
Speaker
very leave-it-to-beaver fucking Mayberry RFD, and we're sitting at the light, and a cop car pulls up next to me, and she's like, and she leans over, hi, Dad! And he's like, what a piece of shit, because he was a Ford guy, and he's driving his Crown Vic, and I said, I bet you anything, I'll smoke that little fucking cop car of yours.
01:33:12
Speaker
And he's like, it's noon on a Wednesday. No. Let's do it. I said, let's do it, pussy. No. He turns on his lights. Get the fuck out of here. We go. We go. We go right up drag, right up Main Street. And as we get past the courthouse, the mayor is standing on the corner.
01:33:33
Speaker
This sounds like an episode of Dukes of Hazzard, bro. I swear to God. I swear to God. And she just literally, she stands there and he he slows back and pulls behind me. And then he goes up, pull it over. And I was like, are you serious? And he gets out of the car. He's like, the marriage has called me. We got to go to her office.
01:33:56
Speaker
you guys hole in there's office is what Yeah, we got caught and she's like you fucking assholes, what are you doing? That's like that's the people there. He said no, I was trying to pull him over and he was getting away. Oh, what and I was like, and his daughter goes, not true. And he's like, you're grounded. And the mayor's like, I'm firing you and get you.
Military Experiences and Transitioning
01:34:24
Speaker
It was it was like,
01:34:27
Speaker
School was in, and we were just out of school, because we had skipped school. that day And ah it was one of those things where we didn't get in trouble for. But everybody like if I did anything in that car in my hometown, everybody knew who did it. It was a black 69 Chevelle with purple racing stripes.
01:34:48
Speaker
And they he'd show up my house. What are you doing? I don't know what you're talking about. The engine's still warm, dickhead. Why is there burnout all the way up Main Street? I don't fucking know with me. The engine's still warm, dickhead. The motor's still ticking. you know I used to get in trouble in that car all the time. got at sixty I didn't even have a car at 16. I didn't give my first car till 18, I believe. It was a truck. Well, my parents had a rule.
01:35:19
Speaker
I'll feed you, I'll clothe you, I'll put a roof over your head. You want something else? Get a job by it yourself. Yeah. So, um my parents never bought me a car. If I wanted something cool, I had to get a job and pay for it myself. And I'm going to do the same thing to my kids. Yeah. It's one of those things, you know. ah But, you know, I live... It's better when you earn it. It's better when you earn it.
01:35:45
Speaker
Yeah, um I moved out, I was out of my own, had my own apartment at 17. 17, that way my 18 year old hears me. ah Right? ah Well, like three days after high school, not even, no, I think it was like three weeks, three weeks after high school, I was off to the Navy. Oh, really? And I, you know, I didn't, I didn't see, we're just telling stories at night, Bathurst, if you want to come on up, buddy.
01:36:12
Speaker
kind of getting, knocking the dust off our our minds while we kind of discuss whatever. But yeah, I was off the Navy. I didn't come back to the States. and Well, I spent one year in the States and boot camped and buds, and then I was all over the world.
01:36:28
Speaker
My daughter's in the Navy right now. She's been to Sasebo, Japan. She was in Italy. She's a, she's a, a corpsman. And now she's with the Marines out in the middle of desert somewhere. And, you know, they're roughing it, but they take care of her. She's hooked up. She's the only medical. So she's like chilling and always sending me pictures. I was like, go do something, do go work or something. Wow.
01:36:54
Speaker
blas was to Blaze was in the Air Force, and I constantly give him shit about it, because I was like, so you sat me on a desk? he's like you know he He was humping bombs around and stuff like that. I was like, you were in the Air Force, you sat me on a fucking desk, don't lie. Yeah, so like when it comes to building their shelters and stuff, you know the Marines are doing all the work, and then my daughter just sitting in like a little AC unit. Yeah, must be rough. I worked for a living when I was an 80. Yeah.
01:37:25
Speaker
But after the first 12 and 24 weeks and buds, I was the Air Force was looking good, boy. i I you couldn't pay me to do buds again, especially now. I'm too fucking old and decrepit. Lazy, did you do any military? Yeah, no. Mm hmm. And yeah, I never asked. I didn't know if you in the Navy. Did you weigh too much of a pansy?
01:37:53
Speaker
Oh, no, I never was in military. That's why I'm surprised that my daughter went. My grandpa was the only one in my family that was military. He was the Navy. And my daughter had the blue. She had a full ride to college. She had a whole college lined up, graduated high school, and she was very, very sheltered, spoiled the crap out of my daughter. So I thought she's going to college. And she's like, well, I'm going to the Navy. I was like, yeah, whatever. You don't even have to use a bank card yet. And she said, no, there she goes. She left. I was like, holy crap. She's about to learn. Yeah, no, she turned into a badass probably overnight too.
01:38:27
Speaker
she She did turn into a badass. She's taken ah some. Yeah, she's turned into a badass. You know what the most fucked up thing I've ever heard in the military is this before I left for but for basic. I did what's called delayed entry. So my first year of high school, I was already in the Navy. But every day after school, I would have to go to the Navy office and help with recruiting. And Part of the delayed entry program, every weekend, you would go to the Navy office, the recruiting office, and you you'd learn something new. That way you could actually jump up rank before you even go to basic. And the my recruiter, his daughter had just gotten out of basic. And somebody that was thinking about joining asked,
01:39:14
Speaker
how in shape will I get when I'm in basic? And this dude said something that has stuck with me forever. He says, well, my daughter just got out of basic and you can bounce a quarter off her ass. I laughed so fucking hard.
01:39:29
Speaker
And he goes, what? I said, dude, that's your daughter. He said, it's true. She's fucking fit as fuck. I was like, that reminds me back in the day when Jessica Simpson's dad talked about her boobs and it was the most awkward thing ever.
01:39:47
Speaker
Right. like to yeah but He was mainly saying the reason why she, like she was, did she start out as like a Christian singer or something like that? and And the reason why she wasn't doing well of it is because her boobs were too big. Oh, Jessica Simpson. I don't know her backstory.
01:40:04
Speaker
Well, I just remember him talking about her double D boobs. That was a narrative. It might've been right after, right? good Yeah. Cause I saw an interview with him a long time ago where right after she had done dukes of hazard, he's like, it's so weird to see your daughter slathered up on it was soap and laying all over the general Lee. And I was like, dude, you were in the room for that?
01:40:29
Speaker
I'd have been like, yeah, I'm out here drinking myself to death. My little girl's half naked on the General League. I'm going to go medicate this with liquids, though. Don't bother me. Jesus. It would just, I'd be like, I used to like Dukes of Hazzard, and then you were in it, and I don't know. Right? I'll never watch it again. I'll never watch it the same way again.
01:40:49
Speaker
yeah
01:40:51
Speaker
now Being in the military, and you know, Connor, he was in two different branches because he's stupid. um How do you pull that one off? Two different brands? He got out and then re-upped into a different branch. And you know that was an option? Oh, it's always an option. I actually, when I got out, I got calls from the Marine Corps. I got calls from the Air Force. I got calls from all of them. I was like, yeah, I'm done. I'm out. I'm not doing this. How long ago? Because of my MLS. Four years. I just did four years and I was like, yeah, I'm done. Can't do it.
01:41:28
Speaker
i wasn't my my I think my daughter's going on her sixth year. Let's see. 18, 19, 20, 22. Yeah, she's going on her sixth year. No, damn. That's crazy. That's dedication. Well, you know what? the The beauty of... That's a lot. The best part about the military, that they don't tell you. I mean, they tell you, but you don't really believe it. You can see the world. I mean, you got to work for it. But when you get like... I was in i was in Japan for like three weeks.
01:41:58
Speaker
And I was like, I'm not gonna stay on base. And buddy of mine and I, we rented an apartment above a restaurant and we ate like Kings for three weeks because the owner who owned the apartment as well, he he'd be like, hey, I got all this lobster leftover. You guys want it? and Fuck yeah. Oh, you got to be like the dump tanks where they're like, we got all this extra shit that's gonna go bad. Yeah. Oh, dude, that would be amazing. I mean, he would come up and and give us like 15 fucking lobsters a night for two people.
01:42:28
Speaker
Dude, that's fucking amazing. To the point where were when i when I moved here,
01:42:35
Speaker
because right after I got out of the Navy, I moved here. You had to go back to fucking Ramen and you're like, God damn it. I came back here and And my girlfriend at the time was like, hey, let's go to the seafood restaurant. I was like, yeah, I'm done with seafood for a while. He's so gassed out on that. When you're giving it for free every fucking night. Well, it's one of those things im like, if you give you if you take your favorite food every single day for three weeks, you're like, you know what, I need something different. ah No, and a it totally makes sense. Totally makes sense.
01:43:14
Speaker
the The only thing I miss about the military is, you know, the the camaraderie in the military is just, it's it's second to none. And the stories we tell on here are nothing to the shit you hear in the military. Like your daughter has heard some of the most fucked up shit on the planet. And she's like, yeah. So it's Wednesday. Got it. So is Wednesday. Yeah. like i' My, my buddy and I, we were in Thailand and We were in Thailand for two weeks, and every morning we would go out and sit at a cafe and drink, just have a coffee, and watch the dudes coming home going, like, took off my tranny, didn't you?
01:44:02
Speaker
that now me and my daughter, we get together. Okay. So I'm in law enforcement. So I, I had cussed my week. I cussed all the time. I was the only one in my family that really had a bad amount like that until my daughter went to the military and then she comes back and we're just fucking carsports are a prerequisite in the military. Oh my God. I'm struggling so much with trying to get clean up my fucking language because my kids are getting old enough that they're like, Hey,
01:44:31
Speaker
I know that's a bad word, but dad keeps saying it. Yeah. I want to be cool like that. yeah i put out a navy I've been of the Navy almost 20 years and I still curse like a sailor. My wife's just like, fucking, I'm used to it. Whatever. She's like, don't talk like that around the kids for like the first year. And then she's like, you know what? I don't care. They've heard it now.
01:44:55
Speaker
I'm taking a college course right now that that's communicating professionalism. The question that was asked sorry last week was the question that was asked was, you know, what do you think your biggest flaw is when it comes to professionalism?
01:45:10
Speaker
Like, uh, I can't keep a clean mouth. Like i I'm going to cuss up enough. Like I could be at an interview and I slip up and like, Oh, shit. Oh, ye so like you know, it's funny that that's not a very fucking professional. And she's like, what can you do to be better about this? We have fucking no dude. We we have a little.
01:45:35
Speaker
There's an older lady who lives across the street. Her name's Juanita. Really sweet, sweetheart, right? Talks like an older lady you would imagine. I was cussing the other day. She slipped and fell, and we went to help her, and she said something. And I was cussing away. I was like, Juanita, are you good? Did you slip on the fucking, you slipped on the fucking shelf? She's like, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. I was like, fuck. I was like, I gotta stop, I gotta stop, man.
01:46:02
Speaker
no the the The hardest part about me is the not cursing every day because I literally, well, like I said, I will curse just as much as I did in the Navy. But my job, I spend all day on the phone with businesses.
01:46:20
Speaker
So it's like, yeah I literally have to write a script. So I, and I read it word for word.
Professionalism and Unexpected Humor
01:46:29
Speaker
yeah put that business voice on He starts the daydream. So yeah, you can add the fucking thing onto your card. I'll send you a fucking email about it. How's that? Oh, I mean, we'll send you an email and yeah I struggle with it daily.
01:46:49
Speaker
it's It's gotten better, but like Connor called me out today. Well, we were talking on Snapchat before we started about tonight because we had the motorsport show and then this show and Chris couldn't make it. And I was like, yeah, I'll be up there. And Carter's like, you don't have to be so professional all the time. I was like, oh yeah, fuck you. Like he he sent like a voice note and the way that he so sounded like he was in a job interview.
01:47:14
Speaker
It was like, it was an NBC four. What the fuck? I've been up since eight on the phone. I've been up since eight on the phone. I find so much enjoyment in watching older, like the elderly generation of people right now.
01:47:31
Speaker
say cuss words when you don't expect it. Oh, I love like like those those older people that like they look so infallible, like they're always so clean and nice and gentle. And then they're doing a puzzle and they can't find the right place and they call the puzzle piece of cocksucker. I have like, oh, I call her my cat goon grandma. She's she's an older lady from Virginia. She's like she was my neighbor when I was with my ex.
01:48:01
Speaker
And I go over to her house every once in a while to just shoot shit. And out of nowhere, I'll say something. She'll just look at me and go. And it's the funniest thing, see, like a 70, 80 year old woman flip you off. I never stop laughing. It is the funniest thing.
01:48:25
Speaker
And I'm like, Jesus, Jane, what the fuck? She's like, what are you gonna do? And she was a school teacher for years. So like anytime I type something out, I'll send it to her first. Jane, what do you think of this? That's very special. You've gotten better. Thank you Thank you. Thank God for sending the middle finger emoji. Thank you. and there's ah there's a There's a photo online. It's ah one of those memes. It's an old lady flipping everybody off. I'll send it to her all the time.
01:48:56
Speaker
And then she'll send me a photo back of her doing this.
Culinary Delights and Global Tastes
01:49:03
Speaker
She cracks me up. My wife just yeah came in with some beer. God love her. I was oh away from the keyboard there for a second. My wife brought home Taco Bell. I was over here trying to smash it as fast as I could so I could get back on the podcast.
01:49:25
Speaker
well i went got chicken today I got paid today. And I was like, I stoping would you with a chicken up i got me a rotisserie chicken. I'm here by myself. I'm going to eat that whole fucking thing <unk> nothing but with a three liter. No, I bought a liter and a half liter cola. No, but like, why is it? Why does why is that vacuumed?
01:49:51
Speaker
Is it for carbonation reasons? No, I just crush it as I hold it. but These are so flimsy that, like, if if they got more liquid in it, they get... It's like you just squeeze the coke into your mouth. It's like one of those sports bottles. Yeah. yeah Well, it's better than watching the other day. Watching the players just... Blaze and I were doing Terrifier 3.
01:50:21
Speaker
uh on on nonsense until the other day and my wife was watching and she says stop drinking out of the fucking coke bottle you look like a neanderthal she sends me this in a message so i grab one of my energy drink cans and i start pouring the coke in it because i was too lazy to get up and go get in class i was like it's five feet away professor i yeah i was gonna I was gonna actually jump on and and and check it out too, but we ended up, we had a cool ass day, barbecued and set up by the fire in the back, kids came over. So yeah. ah you've seen You've seen Texas Brian on here, right? I haven't seen Texas Brian. The barbecue king of- Oh, yes. have I have seen him. Oh my God. I found a video and I sent it to him. I said, dude, if you don't make this, I'm gonna do this.
01:51:15
Speaker
they took chicken legs, you know, and they, they, you know how you do a, what is it? What's the, the, the Tomahawk steaks? Oh, so he made chicken out lollipops. Oh yeah. Yeah. The chicken lollipops. I was, I sent it to Brian. I said, dude, if you don't make this, I'm going to be pissed. And he's like on it. I was like, you're dead. That's a good thing. I don't look close to that dude. I would be 400 pounds tomorrow. Does he, does he throw down those out? He does. He's a barbecue.
01:51:45
Speaker
If you ever are on Snapchat and you you friend him, you will get nothing but videos and pictures of him smoking briskets the size of me. it's And it's like twice a week too. yeah it's like If I lived closer to him, there would be lots of parties. It would be a great time. There's no way. If if I ever become a billionaire. Two briskets a week.
01:52:11
Speaker
I'm gonna tell Brian, I'm gonna call Brian, I'm like quit your job, you're moving to Cancun and you're gonna cook for me every fucking night. I'll buy you the biggest fucking barbecue you want.
01:52:22
Speaker
just I'll buy you the house next door. I'm a billionaire. I don't care. But you're going to cook all the fucking time. And I'm going to be 400 pounds by the end of the month. Because dude, he can't leave the truth. He'll send you a video of him cutting cutting a brisket. You just and it's just falling apart as he's got your fucking dick. I'm so hungry. Next thing you know, you're ordering 400 things for fucking sugary city barbecue. Yeah.
01:52:51
Speaker
yeah find miracle We were watching that Terrifier 3 and they're they're eating Chinese spare ribs in it and Blaze and I both went, damn, that sounds good. I actually haven't had Chinese spare ribs in the longest time. I walked past the Chinese restaurant today on the why way to the store and I went, no, not going to do it. Not going to do it. I mean, the closest we come, we we get Panda Express every now and then. The game comes weird.
01:53:21
Speaker
Well, Mexico in general, there's a there's a shit ton of Asians that move here and open up these. They they do it in the supermarkets. they The supermarkets like Walmart and stuff will have little kiosks in the front by the checkout that are little restaurants. And they they they literally call it Chinese food. And they sell the Chinese food buffet where it's like, you know, you you pick two mains and a side dish of rice or, and, and their noodles for like 10 bucks. It's probably a huge serving too, huh? Oh my God, dude. I'm like, how am I supposed to carry this? I don't have a truck with me. Yeah. We have a couple of, I, she, like, I, I, I,
01:54:08
Speaker
There's times where I'm like, I gotta to go back in the store and buy a wheelbarrow because... That's a good problem to have. ah And it's like I said, it's not expensive, but but you eat it and then you instantly fall asleep. Like instantly. It's that's like... this You can never finish more than half of it. Oh, yeah. and Well, that's that's the problem I have right now. I need to buy a new fridge because mine died.
01:54:34
Speaker
So I was like, I'll just put it in the fridge. No, I can't put it in the fridge. I guess I won't buy it today.
01:54:41
Speaker
So, so train says this dude on the bottom left and played in the movie powder. Did you, did you play in the movie powder? but I mean, I'm glad he recognized my starring role. but I think I got, I think I got a movie. I forgot about that movie. What did he have some kind of power or something? Yeah. was allergic to He was allergic to lightning.
01:55:05
Speaker
So is it lightning? I thought it was lightning. I know he was afraid of it. He was afraid of lighting or something. He had like 30 fucking. What do you call him on your lightning rod, your house lightning rods. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, he was. I remember he touched somebody and knocked them the fuck out with. He had some kind of.
01:55:27
Speaker
Yeah. Well, yeah. When you have a fucking taser, you were in it. Tell us about. I'm trying. I'm trying. I mean, I think I saw that movie once a great movie. I remember watching a movie before going good. This is going to be an amazing movie. And I saw it and I was like, eh.
01:55:48
Speaker
I thought it was, it was okay. I mean, I don't, it wasn't, I mean, ah jack I mean, I was hoping to rely on you for votes for, you know, I've never seen it. Otherwise I would tell you it was awesome. It's one of those weird movies. Like I, like it was, it was, it was big when it came out and then instantly forgettable. Yeah, forgettable.
01:56:16
Speaker
I'm gonna pretend that I'm not I'm gonna not in the remake when they do the remake and you're hired again but suspicious That's for better lines.
01:56:29
Speaker
ah It's Hollywood. they'll do They'll remake it eventually. Yeah, something like I'm tired of all these snakes. My lines are great the first time around. I can't help you. That movie was amazing. I love that movie. Snakes on the plane. It was Sam said, Sam Jackson made it good, I guess. But anybody else in that movie would have been completely stupid. Yeah, Snakes on the plane was actually a decent movie. I wasn't mad at it. Because he does that jacket flip whenever he turns around. And all these motherfucking snakes.
01:56:55
Speaker
And I'm tired of these motherfuckers days on this motherfucker plane. He was proud of that movie, boy. I mean, what else did he need in life, though?
01:57:08
Speaker
Sarah Jackson is fucking roasting people. we are ah We are starting to run low on time here, gentlemen. I was just thinking that myself. I'm fucking fried. Yeah, it's fucking...
01:57:24
Speaker
8 30 here, but you know, anyway, ah Jeff, you got anything fun to say? No, I'm too tired.
01:57:37
Speaker
Neither do I. Life is hard. Get over it. Yeah. ah Chaka, any, any, any. Life's not a dick. Don't take it hard. There you go. I think good last words from you there, Chaka. Yeah, let's see. I'm going to read Ted's thing. He said, powder had a genetic abnormalities that gave him psychic powers, electromagnetic powers, but had the skin. I'd like to keep keep that as my final statement. There you go.
01:58:10
Speaker
proper knowledge. on me i'm shown in that fuck with me Fucking nail over that knowledge chakra. You and Teddy making it happen.
01:58:22
Speaker
You guys are gonna make me watch this fucking movie. jet Jedi any any last words? Nope. Just watch out motherfuckers. You never know when this lightning bolt's gonna hit you.
01:58:36
Speaker
i' lean into it really too nice I've never been threatened by someone so posh.
01:58:46
Speaker
That was the nicest threat. That was so sweet. thank like That's gonna be, I'm gonna call Lazy up for her. I'll be like, tell me a story so I can go to bed because you're so sweet. That threat felt like a warm hug. Thank you. It was. You know what? Because that's what it feels like when you get electrocuted. It's really warm for a minute. A warm hug.
01:59:11
Speaker
This feels like a For a minute that you burst into flames, goddamn. Chaka, if you ever have to daze somebody, just be like, don't worry, this is a warm hug.
01:59:24
Speaker
so one
01:59:28
Speaker
He throws gay lightning bolts. There he goes. Oh, wow. Fuck. Wrap it up, Connor. Let's go. You got to control. I've got nothing fun to say. Check us out on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, all of the things that you go look at things. Do that. Go see us. Like us. Share us. If you love us.
01:59:59
Speaker
If you don't share us, then fuck you. There's that link. There's that link. Jeffy, help me out here. Yeah. bio dot.link slash nonsensical network. all our info And of course, don't forget to go and get some of our merchants spread us on you. Yes. s single bla Gross. I'm glad you got the reference. I just trying to be creepy, but whatever. Hey, don't worry, you did a great job of being creepy. He just did a better job. I'm very promoting your shit. Don't forget, Mondays is Speedway stories and cold blooded conversations and men caring for men, just like this show we did tonight. Tuesdays, Glick's House music where Glick's talking to musicians. Wednesdays, we do what the fuck news if it makes you say what the fuck we're going to talk about.
02:00:50
Speaker
ah Thursday, every other Thursday, Cassius Corner. ah Fridays is nonsense to chill where Blaze and I watch movies and talk about them. And Saturdays, of course, we do the nonsense going nonsense open door challenge where you can come up and we'll give you a shit. Sundays, unnecessary roughness with Glick and the gang where they talk booty football and occasionally Jeff's garage when I can be bothered. See, there's no fucking way out.
02:01:18
Speaker
There's no fucking way I wasn't gonna remember all that. Dude, all you gotta do is fucking read it. That's the bottom of your screen. What did you just throw at me? Fuck he I'm about to end the screen. Hit the button. All right. Chaka, thanks for coming up. Lazy Janet, fuck. Have a good night.
02:01:42
Speaker
words are right buddy