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Everything Action Commentary: 3 Ninjas Knuckle Up
35 Plays2 years ago
For a special bonus Everything Action Commentary, Zach and Chris are joined by special guests Justin and Addam to celebrate Chris' birthday with the last 3 Ninjas movie that hasn't gotten a commentary yet, 3 Ninjas Knuckle Up.
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Transcript
Annual Birthday Tradition: Watching Three Ninjas
00:00:28
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another every action commentary account. It's a bonus commentary. It's our annual Chris birthday celebration. So I'm your host Zach. And I'm your co-host Chris. And joining us our special guest Adam. Hey. And Justin. Tis I. And yeah, it's our annual tradition where we celebrate Chris's birthday watching some sort of ridiculous, terrible martial arts movie.
Three Ninjas Series: A Hidden Gem?
00:00:55
Speaker
And we are completing the saga of three digits. We've seen all the three digits movies for these Chris birthday commentaries, and now we're watching the final one that we have not watched yet, which is three digits. Knuckle up the day 95 classic. Maybe in classic is the higher ranking. Yeah, classic in quotes. The one that I didn't know even existed until I had to do a deep dive and someone like word of mouth back in the day.
00:01:26
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, yeah, the first one and then like kickback, you know, are pretty remembered. Then think about what has like the like crazy like Hulk Hogan and like Jim Darny factor. But yeah, this is the one that like I think it's like overlooks. It didn't have a game. It didn't have a lot of like promotion. Because wasn't wasn't this technically the second one, right? Yes, they filmed this at the same.
How 'Knuckle Up' Was Discovered
00:01:48
Speaker
Right. They filmed this at the exact same time as the first one, but then they didn't release it until like three years later.
00:01:54
Speaker
wild this was released after kickback and i remember like some rental store i went to in new york the guy behind the counter was like hey i've noticed you rent it like three ninjas a lot uh did you know there's a sequel and i was like you mean kick back he's like no not a lot like so they're like sir if you keep coming in here and renting these movies it's just cheaper to buy it sir please
00:02:26
Speaker
Get this out of my store. Nobody else rents this. You could just have it. No, I actually like the process of renting it. What? I like your Excel spreadsheet building up my entries.
00:02:45
Speaker
But yeah, so we're watching green just knuckle up. We are our cop. We are for our copy or pause after the TriStar logo right before I believe it says Sheen Productions. So if you if you somehow if you have a copy of knuckle up, it's it's a little difficult to get like it's only like DVD.
Availability and Rarity of 'Knuckle Up'
00:03:04
Speaker
I don't think this is as like a Blu-ray or anything or it's on. I believe it's on to be if you want to watch on to be or rent it from somewhere.
00:03:14
Speaker
They didn't scan the negative in 4K? What the hell? Yeah. Where's it? Where's our 4K? Three ninjas, like collections. HDR fully compatible. I'm actually watching it on an IMAX screen. I don't know about you guys. Yeah. Yeah. So pause it right before the Sheen Productions. It looks like kind of like the Superman logo fly like the old like Richard Donner. It's coming in.
Film Setup and Continuity Challenges
00:03:42
Speaker
But I'll give a countdown and we'll get started here. So five, four, three, two, one, play. Yeah, I feel like they just ripped off the text, like the fonts. Oh, my God, it stretches, too. Yeah. Simon S. Sheen. We did it. Yeah. Triple S.
00:04:11
Speaker
Wait, when did 3D just get to like ice mode? We got arrested. Is this immediately after the first movie?
00:04:35
Speaker
Because it's sure we have a war now for your arrest. You have you have kidnapped these three children. It's so weird because Colt looks like younger than the first movie somehow.
Fashion and Filming Quirks
00:04:50
Speaker
Yeah, it's all the it's all it's the original. It's the original three, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's the one Rocky was like so like within the age range.
00:05:04
Speaker
Also, why are the family visiting Arizona? Dude, that handkerchief goes hard. You see that around his neck? Is it Bob from That 70s Show? Yeah. Yeah, it is.
00:05:42
Speaker
I'm saying your name so everyone in the movie knows who you are. Oh my god. Cool.
Plot Themes: Native American and Environmental Issues
00:05:54
Speaker
It's a protest. Their tribal lands are being stolen from them. Awesome.
00:06:06
Speaker
This is actually this is actually just a reenactment group. Can we talk about a style, a red and white striped shirt with a yellow hoodie over top? Who could pull that off? Kids. Kids and people in the neighborhood, maybe, I don't know. Who is that guy? Is he supposed to be an Indian? Native American, a beauty of a cowboy.
00:06:35
Speaker
So this is just like- It's dancing the wolves. So Patrick Kilpatrick, Jack Napier's right hand man, who's wearing the like- John Charles Napier? Yes, no, Charles Napier. Oh, sorry, Charles Napier. Like the fact that Patrick Kilpatrick has been a staple in the 80s and 90s as being like the tough like karate guy in movies is hilarious because
00:07:04
Speaker
Like in order to tone him down, they made him like. Sort of like a desperado. Like check out his attire, his attire changes in every scene. He got braces. He didn't have that in the first movie. He just stabs the third kid because it's.
00:07:35
Speaker
bits and pieces. Never heard of that one. It's actually serious. It's kicks. It's like 90s kicks. It's like that 70s show when they had fruity bebbles and not fruity pebbles.
Casting and Cultural Insights
00:08:01
Speaker
Imagine telling an old dude to hurry the hell up. Yes.
00:08:06
Speaker
Dude, 80s peak arcade. Did that arcade. The place was Ted. It's just like coming attraction. Yeah, the arcades is coming attractions. Is that like that, uh, the racing game for the Genesis? I forgot it was the RC Pro-Am. That's the pole position. Pole position. Yeah. Dude, those Coke signs. Damn. Ooty Ooty's pool and pizza. Pool pizza.
00:08:36
Speaker
Wait, this place serves beer? Yes. Why these guys from the 1800s? It's like 10 a.m. What's going on here? Like they watch. He has a pitcher of beer and he's picking on a 10 year old kid. This guy is not with it. He's poor. He's poor down her shirt. Very. Wow. Going on.
00:09:07
Speaker
Also, when everybody does, sir, what the hell are you doing? Wild. You're drinking a pitcher of beer in like a Chuck E. Cheese, dude. What the hell is going on? Ice cream. Just like an ice cream shop. It's like a pizza ice cream shop. They got a bar. How many problems do you get into if the parents could have beer while the kids were playing around with Chuck E. Cheese? Also, the young girl who just got soda poured on her is named Crystal Lightning.
Film Reception and Cultural Portrayal
00:09:38
Speaker
Crystal Lightning, that's pretty metal. Let me see. Oh damn, she looks cute as hell now. Okay. She's from Canada. Yeah, I think this is like a Canadian movie. So this is like Canadian karate. She's in American Pie Bandcamp.
00:10:11
Speaker
This cardboard looking pizza dude, that looks so disgusting. Have you not ever had like early nineties dominoes? That's kind of what it looked like. What's with this like Oregon trail, like PC music from the. It's cowboy karate, which think about the themes that have happened so far.
00:10:36
Speaker
This is the one that stands out for being a Southwestern karate movie. Yeah. Also, we're able to afford like three medium sized pizzas for kids. Like how cheap are these pizzas? Dude, in 95, probably like four bucks. I mean, Little Seasons was doing like two pizzas for six dollars, so.
00:11:06
Speaker
God damn! Three Stooges sound effect. Yep. Kook! That was a cool stunt. I feel like Colt missed a eight ball corner pocket joke or something. Yeah, they followed it up with the balls dropping though, so.
00:11:45
Speaker
So this version of Colt, again, the fact that he was in two movies, like Max Elliot Slade is, you know, Colt brother.
00:11:59
Speaker
I saw. I think he was very underutilized in the series. I was like, Ricky's oblivious to start time. Like, you know, just imagine like not knowing these kids are like related and just walking in here as adults and they just get your ass by three. Right. Yeah, no, they do not like brothers. OK, serious now. Why a switchblade?
00:12:33
Speaker
You both got a switchblade on a kid. This is a crime. Like now it's a crime. That was like, yeah, it's like, it's not with a deadly weapon. I love how like none of the adults are stepping in by this dude beating on a little kid. With a knife. Right? The adults are like, that kid could take him. Yeah, I know. They're like, no, he's fine. It's a fair fight.
00:13:20
Speaker
This is why I shouldn't drink at like 11 a.m. Yeah. See, guys, and this is why I joined Tiger Showman's Karate.
00:13:51
Speaker
Why are they kissing? Digis are bad guys. I love how he mentions dentists and he shows the kid with the most messed up
Continuity and Production Speculations
00:13:58
Speaker
looking teeth right after that. Right? Isn't that weird to think that people don't use that word anymore in that way? Like, Oh yeah, those guys just got creamed yesterday. Yeah, you're right.
00:14:23
Speaker
But it wasn't heard the word cream and use as an active. Also, did they just go back to like the first movie setting? Well, I think it was it's always the same like grandpa's house, I think. Yeah, from what I'm close to the but he's close to like a reservation. I guess. Yeah. From what I read.
00:14:45
Speaker
They had grandpa's house built in like the California woods or whatever the house from the first movie like burnt down in real life. Oh, and they like had to rebuild it like a different house. It's there now. I mean, I mean, who can't say for you from fired, you know, if only Jean-Claude was around for that whirlwind kick. So.
00:15:14
Speaker
I, so they made it back to his house, but he also goes to New Mexico for fun. Well, they live in California, right? So Cal, yeah. Yeah. It's still a journey between the border. There's no, I'm not sure there's any Indian reservations in California. I'm not familiar with the West coast side, but it's, it's not like, Chris is like, this kid's movie is inaccurate. I'm calling. I'm already complaining about.
00:15:44
Speaker
about zoning laws. But I have to charge. Also, based on the experience of the first movie, they took down a ninja empire. Yeah, why are they back in the ninja park like this place? They got to lay low for a bit. But they went back to the town?
00:16:12
Speaker
Like this is in their hometown. So they just got a job here. Yeah. Child labor laws. Screw it. Yeah. Somebody's got to pay the bills. You know, it's not going to be grandpa. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's like the damages or something that they have to pay for the damages they during the fight. It wasn't a lot. It was like a glass of the villains broke and then.
00:16:43
Speaker
A bathroom holder? Like, I don't know what broke. I'm filthy. Oh, okay. Hi, I'm filthy Rocky.
Does the Plot Make Sense?
00:17:11
Speaker
Did I wish some of these original cast members would like two cons? One of them does, but from like Mega Mountain. Oh, really? Yeah. From what I read, Max Elliott Slade like goes to a screening of three ninjas in California, like once a year or something like that.
00:17:37
Speaker
I'm like hosted or something. It's like shit I was reading on Wikipedia at 3 a.m. You know, I'm just like, oh, damn. Max Elliott plays me in more movies. I mean, if you really think about it, this movie was pretty progressive back then, showing like the evils of the white man and shit like that. I mean,
00:18:05
Speaker
I don't know, the message you think so, it hammers deep about Native American guilt, which I'm not going to disagree with. However, the villains are hilarious.
00:18:18
Speaker
Yeah, but they also like put these movies out instead of like helping Native Americans. Let's just give them these movies where it makes white people feel sad instead of, you know, giving them some of the land back. And also like we're helping the environment. Yeah, this does become an environmental movie later on. Also, why do these Native Americans have like a Christian burial?
00:18:53
Speaker
Some of his shirts believe in like reincarnation or something like No, they believe in giving back to like the Mother Earth and then like spirits, okay, but I Might as well just be as bad as the villains in this movie then damn But he says amen which is not a Native American word Doesn't sound like one. Nope
00:19:23
Speaker
Bugle blurs. It's got bugle blurs. OK, so I'm not sure if you found out like the words, but like someone died from poison. Yeah, because like because like Charles Napier is like dumping toxic waste. Granted, it's like still in the mid 90s were like. Poisoning the Earth was still like a new concept of people learning about as environmental hazards.
00:19:56
Speaker
Wow, he doesn't even have like a proper trunk gate. He just had like a cargo net. I'll say this though, it was also pretty ahead of its time to hire an actual actress for the little girl who was actually Native American. Yes. Versus like in the 90s, it would have just been cast as like some Spanish chick or something. Or some white girl with a tan. Yep, yep.
00:20:32
Speaker
Oh, fiddlesticks. I'm so mad. This movie's Fester and Hammerhead. Yeah, oh, my God. Oh, I hope he did it. One, I think one of the goons is Donald Love.
00:21:01
Speaker
download. Yeah. Yeah. Is. Has he appeared yet? He was he was he was in the like the pizza fight. Was he? Yeah, I didn't even notice him. Was he? I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't notice it either. I had to like Google it and I was like, wait, what? He's in this movie. Like he's not the redneck in the trucker ad, right? Yeah, he's with him. Yeah. Oh, shit. He's the cowboy hat guy. Yeah.
Action Sequences: 90s Nostalgia
00:21:28
Speaker
Well, let me see. Whoa.
00:21:31
Speaker
Think about it. Guys, this is the beginning of the crossover where they turn into the Ninja Turtles. Yeah, that's why I don't recognize him. Three years later, he's in Blade. He's not a vampire yet. I mean, this could be the origin to Blade. That guy is a cowboy guy.
00:22:01
Speaker
Scaring off Native Americans, and he gets bit by a vampire. It's like the Halloween theme alt remix. Wow, you're right. Very close to it. A little Zelda action. A treasure chest just opened somewhere. I'm also going to point out that each brother has a different type of shirt.
00:22:32
Speaker
It's a 90s look of like Shripe shirts. You don't like look at the shirts. Three different Shripe sites. Yep. They're going to poison them with carbon monoxide. We're going to we're going to pumpkin kiss you through there.
00:22:59
Speaker
I don't think that's how that works. I'm gonna be honest with you. God, it looks like Murray from Strange Things. Vincent Scavelli, very famous actor. He's like Ben and he's like that kind of background guy. He's never been a main like actor but
00:23:29
Speaker
He's bit in things. He's got a very iconic face. And for the gamers out there, he's also a corpse killer. Cool. What an oddly decorated office. I'm just looking at the picture. There's a brass hat rack with like
00:23:58
Speaker
wild expedition hats on it from Africa or something. There's just, there's a poster. That's just the identifier of like metals and shit. Yeah. Oh, I'm a dumbass that coat rack has hard hats on it. Well, that makes sense. It's helmets. Pitfall. Yeah. Now that I found out that's Donald log, it is weird not to just trying to notice this face. Like you got dip spit on my spares.
00:24:33
Speaker
This is like the seventh season of Fargo. Yeah. I slapped them off screen. Yeah, it was.
00:24:53
Speaker
Like, think about it. That got censored because of too many slaps in this movie. They had to take away a scene. The white on white violence, they won't show, but the white on Native American violence is fine. Also, Zach, how many movies have we seen Patrick Kilpatrick in now? Quite a few. Like, six? Kabook.
00:25:23
Speaker
These are just recycle workers. Why are they beating them up? Recycling is not cool, bro. There's hard. I don't know if you know the backstory about this town, but there's very harsh like anti children of the corn laws where like kids have to be beaten at all times. Yeah.
00:25:55
Speaker
The truth coming Ninja Turtles. It was a sewer. So I'm not sure who's ever. There's pizza, there's. It's Ninja Turtles. Wow, this is actually got a lot of options for ice cream truck now. But it's not going to miss a soft 50 slow children at play them. Why is crystal lightning sleeping outside?
00:26:24
Speaker
Because they've been gone for like hours. It's also like a different day, right? She's not wearing the same clothes. How did the plot so quick? Yo. She. Has a good one. Dude, she kissed Rocky. Emily's going to be so fucking pissed. That's back in California. This is New Mexico.
00:26:54
Speaker
True. Oh yeah. What happens in New Mexico stays in New Mexico? Yeah, it's across the state border. Wait, do they have palm trees in New Mexico? What area of California is this? I mean, that's just like the Goldbergs. It's supposed to take place in Jenkins Town, PA, but there's palm trees when they're driving down the street. Well, we've got to make our deadly weapons.
00:27:24
Speaker
Yeah, the little... Wait, they're making their own ninja gear out of garbage? They don't have any grandpa's house. They don't have like actual weapons they can use. That was a... Bolero? But Bolero, yeah. There's like a barbed wire, like those kelp traps. Hat traps. That's just a slingshot. Is that a walnut?
00:27:56
Speaker
Bring the bear trap. This is Native American Super Soaker. That's a toy. That's just a toy. What?
Final Thoughts on 'Knuckle Up'
00:28:22
Speaker
That's an actual weapon. Yeah.
00:28:25
Speaker
Why did you lick it? What the fuck? It's like, oh, the poison's good. Make sure that metal was genuine. Anyway, back in the Japanese house that somehow is in New Mexico now. Now, they just cut out the part where they're driving like 150 miles. Yeah, like it's a different state. They're going to still grab his car or drive back.
00:28:56
Speaker
Like grandpa had to drive them and then pick them up. Oh no, they're black facing it. What is going on? Why don't they wear their like ninja like outfits? Their pajamas were way more camouflaged than this. They're wearing fucking white shirts.
00:29:24
Speaker
Well yeah, because now I'm thinking of it, New Mexico has not even connected to Cali, so they would have to cross through Arizona every day to go back and forth. That's what I'm thinking. That's wild. See, this is where the movie gets like Native American ninja because they're trying to dress them like the ultimate warrior now.
00:29:51
Speaker
I feel like this is wrong for these guys with these haircuts to do. Get on your Huffy!
00:30:19
Speaker
Yeah, this movie is moving way too fast now. They're like, yeah, they're breaking, entering into like this secure facility with weapons. Yes. I don't know about you guys, but in this movie, like everything is happening so quick of a plot point that there's no time to like argue with grandpa and like the repercussions. It's sort of just like happening.
00:30:55
Speaker
as you're reacting that way. Good job guys. By falling down the stairs. He died he died falling down the stairs because it was a fake snake. Dude, I mean, they're responsible because that guy does not come back up that stairs. He is just gone. Also was was was was dad not tied up?
00:31:29
Speaker
Is that actually Charles Napier? Like just yelling gibberish. Charles, we need you to just yell gibberish. So I GPS that the most eastern point of California to the most western point of New Mexico is a six hour drive. This is like two days later.
00:32:10
Speaker
Yeah, fuck this recycling center.
Cultural Themes and 90s Context
00:32:29
Speaker
Yeah, but they're all wearing boots, though, so they make me sick. That'd be fine.
00:32:38
Speaker
I'll thank you for these homemade Ninjucks. Yeah, these battle buttjucks. I gotta just chuck them. Just throw them away. They're not like guns within these animals. I don't know why. They're single use.
00:33:19
Speaker
Well, now it's a hoedown. No, this isn't any. It's 1995. What do they know about this? Well, this is peak floppy error. Sure, sure. Oh, yeah, I just saw the floppy. OK, fair.
00:33:45
Speaker
That has so many like word perfect documents on it. Or one song. I think at most it's like 1.2 megs, maybe. Hey, you could have one song that was like 128 KBPS bit rate.
00:34:12
Speaker
Like these don't seem like security guards. They really seem like recycle center workers. They are really putting 110% into their job. Into the sewers.
00:34:44
Speaker
His vision is based on moving. Why wouldn't you just throw
Why Does This Film Exist?
00:34:58
Speaker
the sandwich? You threw your nunchucks away. You can't throw a fucking sandwich. Oh, shit. OK.
00:35:16
Speaker
That's how the guy in Philly escaped. Yeah, right? What? That's like another set of guys. Welcome to paper mache falls.
00:35:45
Speaker
You know, by today's standard, this seems like an art exhibit. This is the shit that would be in other worlds, Chris. Yes. Oh my. You should guys go. It is like this. And that camouflage painting on their face really helped them out in this situation. Yeah, I couldn't even see him for half of it.
00:36:38
Speaker
I'm going to say this is way more kicks than like the first movie because like, yeah, I think in the original, but at the 30 minute mark, they did not have as many fight sequences. Oh shit. Slow shutter speed. Yeah. Same with that stunt.
00:37:08
Speaker
At max late, yeah, I mean it looks convincing fights. Like the sandwich wore off.
00:37:42
Speaker
Let's get him. Get him. Come on, pony. Pat it. Pat it. Oh my god. Yo, what? Yo, that's so dark. This is like The Rock. Do you think The Rock stole this from this movie? It made it like that far downstream, too, already. Yeah. The gasoline followed this specific pipeline.
00:38:11
Speaker
Maybe there's like, is it like methane gas down there too? Cause it's sewer. Oh, it's just a storm drain. So it's just water. Yeah. Wait, wait, how is gasoline to be poured on this? This is crazy.
00:38:37
Speaker
Did you pay attention to science class gasoline travels at a more exponential rate than water duh Like
Conclusion: A Cash-Grab or Series Tribute?
00:38:45
Speaker
this is an ecological fucking Disaster they just started in the sewer line. What's wild is we could take that shot on our cameras now from our phones Yeah, we could film doing and just knock a lot hmm
00:39:08
Speaker
We just got to get like our hands on a Native American reservation and like a recycle center. He fixed the whole plate. Yeah. Let's go to bed with our shoes on. Sure, that's normal. And our faces painted. They. They would have smelled terrible on a sewer. I don't know. I don't think it was a sewer. It was a storm drain. So he was just water, but.
00:39:39
Speaker
Hell. Hell yeah. Did Grandpa serve a turkey to dinner?
00:40:24
Speaker
But. He's like, I'll sleep. Did back in the days when your refrigerators were like.
00:40:47
Speaker
Pink, brown, beige, green. They were not fixtures. They were just like something you wanted to hide.
00:41:21
Speaker
Alright, cross your fingers. Doesn't mean anything. Time to get crunk in this Native American like hoedown. They're officially members of the tribe now. So like Justin said, this is a six hour drive. Yeah, right. This is definitely New Mexico. I mean, if I drove six hours for a girl, she better buy me shit too, you know.
00:42:03
Speaker
I wonder what they told all these extras. I was imagining that. Did Simon S. Sheen pay for this? Or was this already happening and they just filmed this? Yeah, right? It's like, hey, it's like, hey, include these three white kids in your native ceremony. In your circle dance. Yeah. Like, we wanted this to show the world how positive Native American culture is.
00:42:32
Speaker
But this doesn't seem like this seems Americanized like everyone here just seems like different tribes. They just combined together, right? Like that headdress looks like Chief Wahoo.
00:43:01
Speaker
See you back, one of your members? Bro, apparently Simon Sheen is a pseudonym and his name is Shin Sang-ok. What? The producer is actually like an Asian guy? He's from North Korea. Whoa! I see. I think he escaped North Korea and started making movies. Yo, third plot twist. He was born in North Korea and died in South Korea.
00:43:31
Speaker
So he funded a three ninjas movie that like did not get a theoretical release. I guess. Yeah, I remember this coming straight to like VHS. I don't remember this coming to theaters. Like.
00:43:52
Speaker
I'm not like an expert in Native American culture, but I feel like this is three different types of Indian tribes going on like ceremonial wise and clothing wise. It's sort of like a hodgepodge of every stereotype they got together. But when Justin mentioned that like the guy who funded this whole project is not from America. It totally makes sense. Yeah.
00:44:23
Speaker
So did they call the cops on the recycle center people and then child Napier? Like they tried to kill us with like an explosion like that. And then they've been poisoned his reservation with toxic waste and they kid, they, they kidnapped the man for God knows how long crime already. Imagine the parents like every night if heard like the kids were hanging out like six hours away from home, sneaking out every night.
00:44:52
Speaker
With like, complete strangers. I don't think the parents are- That guy's not- That guy's a white dude behind him, right there. In the yellow shirt? Yeah. Oh my god, no. Oh, dance number. A karate dance number. And that girl looks Asian, the one with like, the light pink, like, shawl on him. It's cool how the drums keep going when they stand up.
00:45:19
Speaker
I want to know who in the Native American tribe is playing the synthesizer right now. Oh shit, it's the precursor to Tybo. Which three blanks? Introducing the Native Americans to electric guitars. Yeah, right.
00:45:48
Speaker
Somehow it's sent to end a pipe machine. Guys, do you think Paul Love-Duel did this choreography? It's 1995, mind you. This is peak Paul Love-Duel. I love how disinterested the background actors are. If you see them, they're just like, yeah, clap.
00:46:20
Speaker
They brought guns this time. Oh my God. It's like in like the new Space Jam movie when it has that scene where like all the licensed characters are like in the crowd. They filmed them at separate times in the actual basketball game. So like their reactions don't match at all. You're going to make your stand when they have guns now. Come on, dude. Yeah. The escalation is like crazy.
00:46:56
Speaker
I don't think you just go to a reservation and just bully the people there. Yeah. This is a crime already. Chris, so it said the film was nominated for worst sequel and the sequel nobody was clamoring for at the 1995 Stinker's Bad Movie Awards. Like a fake resins.
00:47:21
Speaker
There's a prequel to Razzies. Wait, in 96. In 96, it was the 18th Stinker's Bad Movie Awards. I really don't understand why he has that like the cigar holder in his mouth this whole time. No real cigar. Yeah. Wait, why is it? Is it like a Home Alone movie now? And there's bullet holes in that door.
00:47:54
Speaker
Look at that door. Their air holes, relax. Makes the door faster. What's going on? Makes the door more air dynamic. Like that tells me there was a quick cut where they shot the door, but then nothing happened. Is this supposed to be grandpa? Yeah. That sound like 40 year old dude in a gray wig.
00:48:24
Speaker
Yeah, it's so obvious it's not Victor Wong. Weirdly enough, I want to say it's more obvious in the first movie on certain scenes. I mean, I'm a fan of Victor Wong, regardless. But still, this is out of place. Like, he had to drive them, right? How did they walk here? They walked to the reservation?
00:48:58
Speaker
He's trying to like hit him with the gun. Just shoot the what the hell. Again, the kid gymnastics. He's at perfect range there. He could have just shot the kid. Listen, Adam, they want to commit crime, but they don't want to commit real crime. Oh, here's that Native Americans work on.
00:49:36
Speaker
It's acid. Nah, bro. Those are Native American tears. I'm good on that. Like the stunts for the kids aren't bad, right? Like they look like early Jackie Chan kind of stunt performances. Yeah. Just they don't have props. It's just mostly them doing like kicks against adults.
00:50:06
Speaker
and fake older Asian people. Imagine meeting Donald Logan at a con and just having him sign the three ninjas knuckle up DVD or VHS. Oh my God, yes. Again, I did not know he's in this movie. It's like memory got beat up by Tum Tum. You're right. I mean,
00:50:35
Speaker
I met Kim Coates, the guy from Sons of Anarchy at a convention, got inside my Smallville poster, so. Yeah. Oh, wild. That's right. Native American karate.
00:51:15
Speaker
It's not that far. I mean, it's like this is more like, I love the parts of Victor Wong with the sun double him. Like quick cuts where it's like, yeah, yeah. Can you believe it's him? It's always, it's always his back. The hair's like way too shiny.
00:51:58
Speaker
We stole their guns. What? OK. Why can't you call the cops or like the feds and be like, there is a lane developer that is bullying? Well, the cops were in the beginning of this movie. They were on the developer side.
00:52:19
Speaker
Oh, OK, but fuck the local PD because the sheriff is corrupt, but can't you call it a government agency? Because it's like, you know, it's like, I mean, historically, I mean, the government isn't the best people on the Native Americans. Yeah, that is true. You got a point there.
00:52:49
Speaker
The expendables. Zach, what a weird twist. And this is actually the spendables prequel. Well, Charles Napier is not a good terms. It's the loans, as we know from rainbow first blood bars. So that is true.
00:53:10
Speaker
Wait, what is going on here? This is weird. Yeah, I know. This is why he adopted three white kids. Y'all never had a world moment before? Yeah. What else do you do with three white kids? I did it's a grandpa grandson moment, but it's why are they all shirtless?
00:53:38
Speaker
Just a good old fashioned massaging your grandpa in a hot tub. You had jets. Turn on the jets. You guys haven't done this before? Go, Joe.
00:54:16
Speaker
I'm not really into narrative. I'm just like. OK, like. Call her ahead, Emily. This is supposed to be like I think the summer of the same season that like the first movie happened. Right to the deep lore of the three ninjas relationship is supposed to be that complex.
00:54:48
Speaker
It is still bizarre that the two brothers are fighting over this one girl. What a bro. I guess you're a ninja Barbie. I bought you a dollar store G.I.G.
00:55:16
Speaker
I'm Malibu Ninja. Wow. Joe's like, don't talk to her.
00:55:46
Speaker
Joe's like, she's crazy, just let her be. She's like, here are all my friends and they're all flowers with smiley faces drawn on them. You see, this is where like it actually is name of American culture to like kind of talk to earth that you are like living off them. So like there is a sort of connection.
00:56:16
Speaker
But mind you, it takes a while for this to come through and it has no bearing to the end of the movie. Because this is like a different movie at this point, where they introduce like the Native American parts. Oh, because like, for those who are alert, it gets way more stereotypical by the end.
00:56:46
Speaker
Wait, who's the lady driving them? That's the mom, I think. Is it Joe's mom? Joe's mom. Damn, where's she been? What the fuck? She was in the tribal circle dance. Yeah, I think she was the one at the funeral that was speaking out. Oh, OK. Who the hell?
00:57:13
Speaker
Yeah, one guy. Oh, okay. All right. Let's just show this shot first. Yeah, but these aren't Harley bikers all. Okay. Now the bat, one guy is everyone else is like a dirt bike, bro. I love how not to have like goggles and the rest of them are just in his like dirt trail and can't see shit. Still truck first. Blake trucks winning every day of the week.
00:57:46
Speaker
You know in a modern day version these would be ATV bros. Yeah, there's some ATV guys. Are there? I can't tell.
00:58:25
Speaker
It's like Mad Max. All these are crimes. Like all these are reportable crimes. Yeah. Wait, that guy's got like a shotgun. Yeah. Holy shit. He's got a wench on the front of his. You know he's going to use it.
00:58:56
Speaker
What the hell is that smoke flare? All right. Let's say you just hired a gang of bikers, whatever. It's like, we need to connect this child.
00:59:39
Speaker
Wait, when did the mom pass it out? Oh my god. Oh god, no. Just let them take the car. Dude, it was a foreshadow, though, because wasn't he playing pole position earlier? Yeah. Oh! Whoa, I totally forgot that. It's a callback. I mean, he's terrible at it, but I get it.
01:00:13
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, there it is. I feel like there are driving or they hired like, like short people to do this. Like they just don't seem like they hired real drivers. Let's see. Do you look at that? That guy's like mini purse. It's a Merse.
01:00:43
Speaker
Yeah, I like what. I get the movie credit. They did make it seem like kids are driving this car.
01:01:13
Speaker
Yeah. Other eighties movies and nineties movies, instead of showing a like kids, it would be like grown stuck men, like in that driver. And they're like experts. Yeah. Yeah. Suddenly they just understand how cars work. Okay. Yeah. Just a lot of a smoke bomb, like a mile away.
01:02:29
Speaker
What the hell are they? Yeah, has he not been using the accelerator this entire time? What the fuck? They're like, they lost the guys like, like miles ago. They already down the cliff. They're like in a flat plane, but they still somehow have no traction.
01:03:08
Speaker
In the middle of nowhere. Somehow they beat them?
01:03:27
Speaker
This Oldsmobile somehow beat a Jeep navigating a mountain range.
01:03:55
Speaker
Somehow this movie became a Fast and Furious movie. Right? It's got the same plot of like people trying to stop a vehicle and like rob them and on a highway. And somehow the station wagon from family vacation beat these bikers.
01:04:30
Speaker
So while they're not doing karate, you feel it in this movie.
01:04:58
Speaker
How? It's weird that he knows what a cell phone like is and does, you know? Well, I mean, it's a modern day New Mexico, Texas, whatever this is. New Texaco. It's bragging about cell phones.
01:05:32
Speaker
Eagle Valley County. That's probably not a real county. Everyone has name tags and his is just like mayor. The mayor. And then Charles Napier.
01:06:12
Speaker
I believe so far they haven't referenced like any events from the first movie. Well, this is technically the third one, right? So yeah, this came after kickback. Maybe they maybe they did that like for a specific reason that so people didn't get confused. But this is a spiritual like the summer of the first movie event because everyone you know, like everyone looks younger. Yeah.
01:06:45
Speaker
I get it. You're fighting a different enemy instead of fighting like a Jewish led ninja clan. This is run by a bunch of Southern land developer Hicks. Yeah. Somehow I do miss Schneider. Like Schneider was the main ninja that was in the first movie, but
01:07:12
Speaker
His plan makes sense. He was an arms dealer. This was just a land developer. Who's who's who's dumping toxic waste. But he did it to like lower the the value to buy up the land.
01:07:50
Speaker
I feel like I've seen this set in other shows. That entrance looks like it was from Django. This set right here is from Rest in Development when they go to Mexico. This is the set they use. I'm sure it's like Universal Studios or something. Or some famous desert set.
01:08:28
Speaker
That's the guy behind him look like Rob Schneider. I don't know who the big guy is, but he goes like Bill Hicks. Not the jukebox. Is he going to play like a license song? Oh my God. Free song. And now it's a dance number.
01:09:07
Speaker
Could they not like like is it is Mexican Hat Dance not like public domain? Like Kookaracha? It would cost them too much. I knew like Kookaracha at this point was still copyrighted. So half the song does sound tropical. You're right. Oh my god.
01:09:35
Speaker
Sounds like it could be like a Donkey Kong level song or something. You're right. It does sound like a Donkey Kong country song. I wish you could say this was the climax, but there's still about like 20 minutes of movie left.
01:10:06
Speaker
And whatever sounds of anarchy they hired is just like not great at their job. The same guy who composed this movie composed the sweet life of Zach and Cody. Is that a true fact? Yeah, I'm looking it up on IMDB right now.
01:10:47
Speaker
I mean, when I saw this movie when I was seven, I get it. You know, like it does the job of being enough for Kid Karate. And the fact that they have like one more one helmets laying around. Yeah, I'm not really catching the theme of this.
01:11:34
Speaker
So this does seem like a universal like stunt show or something you would see at Six Flags. They probably use it because every like piece of like furniture and set pieces are breakaway. Or is this like Robert Rodriguez says like his like backyard like Mexican town.
01:12:04
Speaker
Yeah, I did not know that Robert Rodriguez built his own sound studio like behind his house, basically.
01:12:35
Speaker
Oh. I'm actually confused now, because the more I think about it where these bad guys, they're already here, so they were hired by. The land developer to hang out here just in case the kids and up here. Well, they're hard to kidnap Joe and then they.
01:13:05
Speaker
This is their hideout, I guess, or something thicker. Is there's a lot of them in this town?
01:13:47
Speaker
Now becomes a courtroom drama. We don't have computers, so I don't know what's on it. I haven't looked at anything on it yet, but. He's just ordering a pizza right now. I mean, you can always see this guy is threatening some other dude in court.
01:14:19
Speaker
Or in council, like there are so many people watching this land developer, like medicine is due from a distance. He said it's all right. So we can leave.
01:14:59
Speaker
Kiss. That they get drop kicked. Native American karate. Where do you get this outfit? Lands in. It was like an old man.
01:15:30
Speaker
All right, they're pretty much using every stuntman they can grab for like a cheap in this movie. Oh, hey, they brought back one of the original songs from the first movie.
01:16:00
Speaker
It's the biking theme. Those who remember the classic bike theme. They do that at the construction site of the first movie. How this rusty bike doesn't have flat tires, I will never know. Why the pigs carry these pigs?
01:16:33
Speaker
This town has a thriving community of biker gangs. This sequence goes on for way longer than I remember when I watched this.
01:17:07
Speaker
is somehow these kids on bikes are able to outrun guys on motorcycles. So a fake door. Yeah, it's like. That is like an acme on the war badly painted door. He fell right into our fake door trap. That was like every time there's like a while the coyote paints a tunnel on a stone wall door.
01:17:41
Speaker
But who just got? Is that the girl? Is she here? But they arrived here. They they somehow beat her being kidnapped here. Yeah, they know they they arrived at the Jeep that was empty and then they got surrounded by the bikers. Ah. Are you even watching this movie, Chris? They just reintroduced where she's been kidnapped now.
01:18:12
Speaker
Also, did you get a setback of a lot? No, because they just had to prove that where she is because she has been in here in the last like 10 minutes. It's like stunts. So very empty building.
01:18:50
Speaker
I don't know, I've been focusing on the long things about this movie. So I just totally forgot why they're even here. Now a kiss. Oh, let's do it again. She got her Emily moment.
01:19:51
Speaker
That's probably a foam tree. Just destroying this family's only means of conveyance. We weren't actually doing okay. We'll settle.
01:20:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's it. It's like, this is fake. That's a disco, right? EPA guy just looks at like, yeah, this is fake. Oh, this gets so much information. This is a few times an EPA guy is like the hero. Yeah.
01:21:29
Speaker
Can you imagine someone walking by like, Hey, would you do that? I was like, let's watch some kids beat up these grown men on the courthouse doorstep and then defeat court cops. Yeah, right. I get the like other guys, but not the court cops.
01:22:00
Speaker
Wait, they went back to the entrance? Yeah, I thought they were in the courthouse. They were in the courthouse, yeah. He's doing this in front of the jig, everybody. He's like, tell me, give me that disc right now. Give me the real disc.
01:22:29
Speaker
Time for the second main entrance. Who are these guys? We're actually native of... Getting their ass beat. You just can't punch out a dude at the council meeting. This should be cancelled. There's an objection, I'll allow it.
01:23:02
Speaker
Huh? Okay.
01:23:38
Speaker
I guess from this like floppy disk of data entries. Right. They could have made this like a basic text document and the guys would be like, Oh word. Yeah. Yeah. Also, so, so they never wore their Ninja outfits except for like when they woke up in the morning, like those two, two brief seats.
01:24:06
Speaker
You have a six hour drive back to California. Yeah, walk back. That shot though. That was nice. That was out of place.
01:24:34
Speaker
This is like less believable than you stop the internet like an international like arm stealing ninja group, right? Well. If I learn anything from art appreciation, this is a vagina like metaphor, not a Earth thing. Well, he is thinking about Joe.
01:25:08
Speaker
this is also like the weirdest of like grandpa's like lessons because like like in like kickback it was like it was like that like uh collect like learn that like the like see the gun barrel get huge thing yeah yeah it was like speed and like focus oh yeah right and the first one the first one yeah they did ride the pressure points yeah there you go the first one was like
01:25:33
Speaker
Yeah, the first one was like that's like all the like the pressure points like this. I defeat a man. You hit all these pressure points. You know, it was for it was two things. It was the pressure points that can kill a man. And then it was like four strands of rope tied together. Unbreakable. Yeah. And then. This is like, what? The truth is that you free. Listen to the flowers. Yeah, right. Because he's flowering up right there, I guess.
01:26:21
Speaker
Whoa! Whoa, the riddle flowers. Actually, the daffodils are a little bit racist. We kind of have to keep them in the... They got a lot to say about certain racist people. I love how all three of them have like the exact same amount of hair out of the front of their hat there. Yeah, they're one bang that comes out. Yeah, you know, just family somersaulting.
01:27:03
Speaker
They just abandoned her too. Yeah. What? Yeah, this is actually. It's a nice beat. I'm feeling it. It's sort of Christmas like beat with like bells. I think I mean kickback has probably the best when they especially when they get into like Japan, but it's like like the Korean rap.
01:27:32
Speaker
Yeah. That's all I'm Korean, which is weird. Whoa. Fun fact, apparently we might have something else to watch at some point. For the original three Ninja movies, there was an international version that's 10 minutes longer. That's wild. Okay. What is that like 90s song that was really popular that had like pan flutes and it was like almost an everything. Um,
01:28:03
Speaker
I'm talking about like an Enya song or something something it was like I Don't know the 90s got weird with music. They got into like Gregorian chanting It was like a Native American chant pure moods pure moods whatever that song was
01:28:32
Speaker
I think it was. I mean, what was that? It was a big, but sadness, sadness. Yeah. You would know it when I'm talking about it, a pizza parlor girl, Aaron trainer. I guess that was Rocky's sister. OK.
01:29:02
Speaker
So yeah, I'm surprised they could not afford the rights to get enigma sadness in this. And it's a song that people heard of. Everyone's heard of the song, but no one actually knew the title of it. They use all this library music. It's free to use, generic hoedown. Yeah, it's every free song they can grab.
01:29:32
Speaker
Yeah, I forgot about this song. It's a song you get in a CD of like 101 Western sound effects. Yeah, like I said, it's like Grigori and Chance. That's what his enigma sadness song is. Yeah, for those who don't know, we'll probably post it later.
01:30:00
Speaker
I posted in our chat. But this is what I'm watching too. Yeah, I'm watching the video too. That makes more sense for this movie, what's going on. But again, this movie was like budgeted. They just grabbed whatever they could to put this movie together. Oh, an animal trainer. What animal was in this movie?
01:30:28
Speaker
Dog, there was dogs. Oh. One that ate a sandwich. That's true. And I think there's horses to Peter Pop. Good friend. Portions rerecorded by ground control, OK?
01:30:59
Speaker
I'm not even watching the movie anymore, dude, I'm on this video. Yeah, man, I didn't know that's part one or part I, like there was more parts of that song. Then they returned to Innocence. That was the other big hit. The crazy thing is, it said it was filmed in Panvision in a photo lab for post. So you probably could rescan this movie at 4K if you wanted to, if it was filmed on film.
01:31:27
Speaker
back to back of the original and then this because somehow they knew this would be like a franchise hit. It was, but I think because of editing and for whatever reason they had to delay this and then this did get a limited release and then straight to VHS. So yeah, because I do see online it said like. Knuckle up did have a box office earning.
01:31:58
Speaker
Yeah, it came out like a small theater, but I never seen the movie trailer and any kind of marketing material. Yeah, I think Return to Innocence is more what you were thinking about, Chris. Now you got me listening to Enigma again. That whole pure moods, man, the whole album. Crockett's theme, Tubular Bells.
01:32:25
Speaker
It's still a Digma? Jesus Christ, a Digma, man. Oh yeah, I remember this enigma song. OK. Yes, I think it was like a now is what I call music like this was in in it. So yeah, three ninjas knuckle up. We did it, we watched all the four three ninjas movies.
01:32:55
Speaker
Yeah, it's been a long journey for it to get to here. It's so weird. The only thing I remember about this movie rewatching is like that like weird hoot nanny song that they kept playing throughout the movie.
01:33:08
Speaker
And like I always remember now that I watch this movie when she says like dad at the end, I always remember my like going back and replaying it over and over again because it sounded like super weird. And now that I'm older, I realize they probably like ADR like that line because she messed it up or something. And they just have one take. Yeah, this movie is budgeted and you feel it. You feel the difference between this and then like the rest of the series. Yeah.
01:33:39
Speaker
Uh, for me, like, it's definitely not my favorite. I feel like one and two, one and, and kickback, kickback. Yeah. Like they're always my top two. And like, they're silly and I like nineties of calculation. This is weird because it doesn't quite capture the nineties. And it has like an issue with like,
01:34:05
Speaker
I don't know, like land development that comes out of nowhere. Like it should not be a problem. At least the other ones, they explain like why they can't go to the cops or why they can't do certain things. Remind you, this is a federal issue. Their dad is an FBI agent. So I don't understand why this is even a problem. Yeah, I don't know. I think that at that time there was like this huge push as like a
01:34:35
Speaker
My grandmother was like, you know, one, 264th Native American or something, whatever nonsense white people used to do back then. And we had like dream, she had dream catchers all over the walls in her house. And we went to like a powwow one summer, like this native American culture push was very big at that time. And it was,
01:35:03
Speaker
It's very weird to me that, like, it just kind of died out after a while and everybody was just like, oh, I guess we're just like over the fact that we, you know, struggle with the thing and it's weird. It was like environmentalism and, uh, yeah, like native American culture. Cause like, cause like Steve was like under the ground was like the year before this movie came out. And then it doesn't make any sense. Cause like,
01:35:30
Speaker
Like I said before it's like they made these movies and then just nothing Ever changed or anything. They're still doing the same shit Cultural relevance came from this Yeah, they're still like poisoning the environment like that that train shit that was happening like Ohio This stuff like actively Yeah
01:35:57
Speaker
where they offered to pay like everybody like a thousand dollars each or some shit like you're like this is crazy yeah man like that it should be a three ninjas movie of them fighting a train yard yeah it's unstoppable but it's three ninjas oh shoot no bullet train
01:36:24
Speaker
Just making a cameo on bullet train. Just three kids kicking the butt of all these like, um, I guess like plastics company. Like what kind of villain was this? It could be like the kids are going to Japan for the summer, but they're all grown up now. They're like in their forties and like each stop instead of it being an assassin is like a villain from the previous movie is hopping back on again.
01:36:52
Speaker
Yes, I I I would watch that. I would watch a weird like in the sense of what is coming for reboots and nostalgia. When they get back to the three ninjas franchise, I'm all about that. I don't care if it's good or bad. I would watch it. Guys, we got a break. It's Chris. Now they're not coming for this. They're not doing it.
01:37:16
Speaker
Dream we wake we make it like some sort of like 4k like Collectors edition or something at some point, but yeah, that's the best I can hope for like all four movies. We never if I Was if sidekicks can get a 4k then this could be a 4k at some point That's your that that movie took like 30 something years to get like a 4k of his release. I
01:37:45
Speaker
But yeah, any closing thoughts? It was very. Like it was like very generic in the sense that like like you're saying there was like no really. Music with lyrics or anything like that, there was like no references, no like pop culture stuff or anything like that too much. It was just like it felt like it was in its own universe. It was weird like no connection to the other movies either.
01:38:16
Speaker
Yeah, Zach and Zach brought that up. Yeah, just. Yeah, they don't wear their their ninja outfits is like so weird like I didn't even think about that. What the hell? Yeah, they earned their outfit from the first movie of our crew themselves that they worthy of like ninja rank. At the window, it is really straight polos.
01:38:40
Speaker
I guess, I think me and Zach at this point are three ages historians and the fact that we pointed out the logistical flaw on this because even their outfits carry over to kickback. So there are issues where this movie doesn't quite make sense. Yeah, but at the director on Twitter, you won't. I think you guys are right. This is very like
01:39:09
Speaker
like you said low budget movie that just seems like it was just like a cash grab kind of thing where they were, you said they were filming it at the same time as like another one. This is probably just like maybe like the cut scenes from that other just thrown together.
01:39:28
Speaker
But like it doesn't flow native like the narrative does not flow with the first movie whatsoever. So what a leap in logic to like hands to a sequel from the arms dealer to pollution guy. Yeah, there's a lot of like dragged out scenes for no reason. Like some of those fight scenes are just like, all right, we get it, especially them running around the freaking yard or whatever that like trash place. We're like, OK, cool. It's.
01:39:57
Speaker
We get it you're like lost in like a corn maze of fucking recyclables or some shit fighting a bunch of adults. Can you please just move to the next scene? It does drag. I I'm not gonna lie, yeah. Uh, Zach, any last thoughts? Uh, no, I think I think we covered pretty much everything we can about. Just knuckle knuckle up so. Um.
01:40:24
Speaker
So yeah, they'll do it for this bonus commentary. And uh, oh yeah, Edward, just do you have anything to plug or share with anybody? Where can we find more of you? It's me is just on Instagram, the admin 2315 and then I guess I could still promote that guysbookonperks.com hilarious book. If you guys want to check it out.
01:40:54
Speaker
Well, like in the in the. And as far as me, I'm on Instagram at JJ Lomas Entertainment I had. Been trickling back into the YouTube world live streaming some games, but we'll see how that goes. Channel name is the same as the Instagram. Alright, so yeah, so that'll do it for this bonus. Happy birthday Chris.
01:41:23
Speaker
It's coming up soon. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, so for Chris and Adam and Justin, I am Zach and we will see you next time. For more Everything Action, head to www.EverythingAction.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at EVAction on Facebook by searching for Everything Action and follow us on Instagram at Everything.Action. You can also subscribe and get more episodes on Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.