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The Psychology of Findom: What It Actually Is, What It Isn't, and Why It Matters
186 Plays2 days ago
In this episode, Beatrix takes a clear-eyed look at the kink of financial domination: what it actually is psychologically, what it is not, and how some creators have damaged its perception. Whether you're curious, skeptical, or just want to understand the space more honestly, this conversation is for you.
Topics covered: the psychology of power exchange through money, the submissive and dominant experiences, the difference between findom and financial abuse, and the ways careless or predatory behavior in the space has created lasting harm to a kink that, at its core, is about trust.
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Transcript
Introduction to Kinks, Fetishes, and Self-Discovery
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Slut Next Door podcast, where we dive deep into desire, unravel kinks and fetishes, and explore the deliciously naughty side of self-discovery.
00:00:25
Speaker
I'm Beatrix Vale, an erotic audio creator, and your guide to all things kinky and curious. So let's begin.
Misconceptions about Fendom: Motivation to Discuss
00:00:43
Speaker
Welcome back. I'm really glad that you're here for this one because today we're going to talk about something I actually get asked a lot. Something that tends to generate strong opinions from people who don't fully understand it and something I think deserves a genuinely thoughtful conversation.
00:01:08
Speaker
We're talking about financial domination or known as Fendom. And trust me, i get it. It's very confusing because it's F-I-N-D-O-M.
00:01:22
Speaker
That sounds a lot like Femdom, like F-E-M-D-O-M. Very confusing. But now if you just made a face or felt your curiosity spike maybe,
00:01:37
Speaker
Both of those reactions are completely valid. And honestly, they're kind of the reason I wanted to do this episode because Fendom is one of those kinks that people think they understand based on maybe like a Twitter clip or Reddit thread.
00:01:58
Speaker
And what they think they know is usually either really wrong or really incomplete. And you guys know I'm all about getting away from kink shaming. And that's why I feel bad about Fendom, especially in my personal community on Discord. I've seen a lot of people say, like, you know, ew, Fendom. And I get it. You can have your opinion, sure.
00:02:26
Speaker
But... It's still a kink, like especially when it's done right. And of course, we're going to get into that. And so, you know, that's why I decided to do this episode to like shine a light on what this kink is and what it looks like in the right setting.
Revealing the True Nature of Fendom
00:02:45
Speaker
So we're going to pull this apart. Okay, what it actually is psychologically, what it's not, who it's for, who it isn't for.
00:02:57
Speaker
And I'm going to be honest about the ways some people in this space have caused real harm to a kink that at its core is actually pretty fascinating.
00:03:10
Speaker
And I want to be transparent upfront. I do make Fendom content. It's a very small, small part of what I do. and you'll find it only in my clip stores, not in my subscription feed. And that is a deliberate choice. I don't want someone who signed up for erotic hypnosis or like general Fendom content To like accidentally walk into a file they weren't expecting, like maybe they didn't read the summary. um
00:03:46
Speaker
And I take that very seriously. And I'm also thoughtful that there's a lot of there's a lot of opinions about it. So if you're curious about that word specifically, you know where to find it.
00:03:59
Speaker
But that context does matter here because I'm not speaking about this from the outside. I've been in this space and I understand it from the inside.
00:04:11
Speaker
I also, I'm sure some of my fans probably have no clue that I have, you know, a submissives that are technically my thin subs. It's very private, like, and that's how it should be, right?
00:04:29
Speaker
Um, So yeah, I am speaking to this from the inside, not the outside.
Personal Story: A Morning Walk and a Butterfly
00:04:37
Speaker
So before we really get into it, I'm going to start with my little segment called What's Currently Making Me Feel Like a Goddess.
00:04:49
Speaker
It's actually like a silly little story, but hey, it's a story and you may or may not enjoy it. But um I have started doing my walks in the morning because summer is here and I don't want to be walking when it's all hot out.
00:05:08
Speaker
um I love walking outside versus I have like a little walking pad that I can use inside. But if I can walk outside, that I'm going to choose outside.
00:05:19
Speaker
Anyway, so the other day i was walking and i saw this big, it was pretty big butterfly on the road. And I live out in the country, so ah it's paved road, but it's a back road.
00:05:35
Speaker
and and like seeing this butterfly And I I notice something must be wrong with it. It was still moving, but it wasn't ah flapping away from me. i wasn't able to fly. He was able to move his wings, but not like fly.
00:05:50
Speaker
And it was so sad. And I'm like, well, I can't leave him here on the road. i have to get him to safety. Yeah. And so i do know, like, I'm pretty sure ah that if, I believe if our oils get on butterfly wings, it like ruins them or something. i hope that's that's right. So I was very, very careful. i didn't want to pick it up.
00:06:13
Speaker
And so I just like kind of got down and I put my hand right in front of it and let it just kind of start crawling up my hand. And it took took a minute because it was scared of me.
00:06:23
Speaker
But then it started just like crawling up my hand onto my arm and I was like, perfect. um I even snapped a picture because how many times do you have a picture opportunity of a butterfly sitting on your arm?
00:06:39
Speaker
So i took the butterfly and I went over to the side of the road, like towards the grass so it could not beat in the road and get ran over. Like how could I just keep walking by knowing that I could have helped this butterfly and truly...
00:06:59
Speaker
Who knows where he is right now because, like I said, he couldn't fly. But listen, if he had a natural death, way much better than him getting, like, smushed by a car driving by.
00:07:11
Speaker
So that absolutely made me feel like a goddess because... If you know me, i am very, i love being outside. I'm very like crunchy, earthy, um witchy. And so i I genuinely love being outside. i I don't like creepy crawly things though.
00:07:33
Speaker
Um, but it made me feel like a goddess because I felt like I was quote unquote saving his life and just making a little change into the world that was good and not, and not bad.
00:07:51
Speaker
and felt, it felt that very like motherly. It felt very feminine. felt like goddess. So there's my story for what's currently making me feel like a goddess.
00:08:06
Speaker
I have posted that picture on my socials, so you can go see it there. But let's get back into the episode, okay?
Nuances of Psychological Aspects in Fendom
00:08:15
Speaker
We're going to start with what people think financial domination is,
00:08:21
Speaker
Okay. We're going to talk about, we're going to call it a caricature because the caricature of Fendom is loud and it is everywhere. If if you are any online Fendom, female domination space, Fendom is everywhere.
00:08:47
Speaker
It really is. And so i and I think that's one of the issues. But we'll get into that soon. But the caricature is ah often goes like this, okay?
00:09:00
Speaker
It often looks like a woman pointing at a camera, telling men that they're pathetic, and demands they send her money for the privilege of being insulted.
00:09:11
Speaker
the men comply, money transfers, that's it. Okay. And I get why that reads as absurd to people on the outside. Like if you're not into that kind of feeling, it looks like a scam. It looks like manipulation. it looks like just a complete power imbalance that only benefits one person at the expense of someone vulnerable. Right?
00:09:42
Speaker
So here's what that version is missing. It's missing context. It's missing consent.
00:09:52
Speaker
And really the entire psychological architecture underneath the transaction. Maybe it's there. Maybe we don't know. Or maybe it's not. And this woman thinks, you know, just hand over your money.
00:10:07
Speaker
So the caricature strips out everything that makes it a kink and leaves you with just the money moving and the money moving without context is always does look suspicious. um You know, what I think the caricature cannot show you is what's happening happening internally for both people involved. So let's actually go there. We're going to talk about like what financial domination actually is.
Power Exchange Dynamics in Fendom
00:10:48
Speaker
So at its core, financial domination is power exchange. That's the foundation. Everything else is built on top of that.
00:10:59
Speaker
And, you know, just like tease and denial is power exchange, just like an erotic hypnosis file that is femdom or mommydom related that is power exchange.
00:11:17
Speaker
And so power exchange means two people are consciously, deliberately engaging with i den a dynamic where one person holds the authority and the other person surrenders to it.
00:11:34
Speaker
So, I mean, that's the engine of most BDSM dynamics. If we're talking cuckold, one person holds the authority, the cuckoldress, and the other person, the cuck, surrenders to it. So Fendom, financial domination, is just doing it through a specific medium, which is money.
00:11:59
Speaker
And why does money work as a medium for this? Well, it's because money is not really neutral at all.
00:12:09
Speaker
Like in our culture, money carries enormous symbolic weight. So it can represent security, control, status,
00:12:21
Speaker
dad is self-sufficiency, worth. And when someone earns money, they earn independence. When they lose money, there's often shame attached. And when they give money away, it signals trust or or it's a priority like a bill or it's a sacrifice.
00:12:48
Speaker
so Financial domination takes all of that symbolic weight and puts it in service of power dynamic.
00:13:01
Speaker
So when a submissive voluntarily relinquishes financial control, They are engaging with all those associations on purpose.
00:13:14
Speaker
So they're choosing to let someone else hold something that matters. And that choice, the deliberate act of giving something, giving over something that's real, is what makes it feel significant in a way that other forms of submission sometimes don't.
00:13:37
Speaker
So stay with me because we're going to talk about who experiences this and why. So there's a psychological kind of profile that shows up consistently in people who were drawn to Fendom as submissives.
00:13:56
Speaker
And it actually might surprise you. So a lot of them are high-functioning people, people who carry significant financial responsibility in their daily lives.
00:14:11
Speaker
They are breadwinners, business owners. people who make decisions that affect people constantly. And i think it's for people who money is a source of pressure, like not just a resource.
00:14:33
Speaker
With all the men that I personally have experience with, they all have highly respectable jobs, very like high pressure. They're like up on the ladder.
00:14:47
Speaker
Absolutely. So, and that's what makes it. really fascinating because you would you would think that's not the case. At least that's how I went into it as a baby dom thinking that, um you know, a man who would be into this is not someone that's up on the ladder.
00:15:05
Speaker
It might be someone who's making like really risky decisions. But I think the common denominator though is there's a relief that That comes from like temporarily placing that weight of ah money in someone else's hands and from being told what to do with it, from having it taken rather than having to manage it.
00:15:36
Speaker
And that can be genuinely cathartic for them. And it's the same psychological principle, actually, that draws high-powered people to submission in general, that relief of not being in charge. And we talk about that very often in terms of submissive men on this podcast. that freedom of not having to decide.
Masculine Socialization and Submission in Fendom
00:16:04
Speaker
And here i actually want to speak specifically to men, like the concept of male submission, because the overlap between masculine like socialization fandom as a kink is something that I don't think gets examined enough.
00:16:27
Speaker
So most men are raised with a very specific story about what their money means. Like providing is an identity. You are a provider and it's how their worth gets measured.
00:16:47
Speaker
You know, the good man earns money. The good man is the breadwinner. he protects. He supports. He carries everything.
00:16:58
Speaker
And I think that socialization runs very deep for some men. And it comes with an enormous amount of of pressure.
00:17:10
Speaker
And so the expectation to provide is often never questioned. ah never shared, never like put down.
00:17:22
Speaker
It's just always carried. And I think it accumulates. And so what FINDOM, financial domination can offer when it's done right is, is a complete inversion of that dynamic and a space where it's safe to explore.
00:17:42
Speaker
So instead of money flowing outward as proof of worth, it flows as an act of devotion, of surrender,
00:17:54
Speaker
um of've of choosing to be the one who gives rather than the one who provides because it must be done.
00:18:06
Speaker
And i think for some men that distinction, you know the devotion versus like a it being a duty that they have to do is everything.
Trust and Significance in Fendom Exchange
00:18:20
Speaker
And, you know, sometimes it's a simple thing of, you know, if you're doing orgasm control, like if I am controlling someone's orgasm, they are giving me control over something that's very precious to them.
00:18:39
Speaker
I mean, a man's arousal is very, it weighs a lot for some men. And so, you know, that that becomes arousing in itself. Like I'm giving this over to her and I'm giving it to her because I want to surrender to her or I just love her and I have to, you know, whatever it is. And so if you take money in place of that arousal, so if you if you say, okay, so I'm going to give this woman my money because i want to, i am devoted to her, i want to surrender to her, And then she takes control of that and and teases it, manipulates it, takes it just like she would tease, manipulate, and take a man's orgasm.
00:19:34
Speaker
So when you really boil it down to simple terms like that, it becomes, I think, a little less odd. But i'm sure you're still I'm sure there's some of you that are like, no, no, no, no. And i really think that I really think that's there because there is a lot of like money can be so layered in terms of the way we feel about it, the way we receive it, the way we make it what it means to us.
00:20:05
Speaker
If you really want to go deep into some shadow work, really like journal or think about your values in terms of money. You know, what what money means to you.
00:20:18
Speaker
And I think you'll find there there's some like deep-rooted stuff there that we kind of collect over our time, either it from being our family or maybe some situations financial financially we've gotten ourselves into in the past, you know, whatever it is, there can be some really heavy emotions tied to money.
00:20:43
Speaker
You know, like if someone grew up in a home where money was hard to come by, I'm sure this kink sounds absolutely ridiculous because perhaps you have a belief or a value that money is a resource.
00:21:01
Speaker
Money is, ah you know, you have to protect it and have control over it because you have this foundation where you know what it's like when you don't have it.
00:21:14
Speaker
So back to defining what this is. So There's also something deeper happening, i think, around the question of worth.
00:21:28
Speaker
So the word tributing, you'll find that in the Fendom space, tributes. It's just a term for financial offerings and Fendom dynamics.
00:21:41
Speaker
um It becomes like this ritual act sometimes that Because it's it's saying that I prioritize you.
00:21:53
Speaker
my mistress, my goddess, whoever it is. I demonstrate my devotion in a way that costs me something real. And for some submissives, that realness is exactly what makes it meaningful.
00:22:08
Speaker
And it does become like a gift. So, and I bring that up too, because there can be some more quote unquote, hardcore aspects of Fendom where it's not so soft and it's not so ritualistic.
00:22:26
Speaker
And that that's fine. um My point of this episode was to bring to bring in the aspects that might surprise you.
Ethics and Responsibilities of Dominants in Fendom
00:22:35
Speaker
So now we're going to talk about the dominant experience.
00:22:41
Speaker
So what it's what it's actually like to be on the other side of this, but with integrity, because I think that's the most understood part, honestly.
00:22:55
Speaker
So I think a lot of people assume that the dominant role in financial domination is passive, like You just show up, you demand tribute, and you just collect.
00:23:09
Speaker
And i think that perception is part of how we ended up with some of the problems. And I'll talk about that later, actually. um Holding financial power over someone with genuine care I think requires attunement.
00:23:34
Speaker
And what I mean by that is i think it requires knowing the difference between a submissive who is in a healthy kind of subspace and a submissive who is spiraling, who is spending compulsively, like who you can just see they are chasing a dopamine hit in a way that is going to hurt them tomorrow.
00:24:03
Speaker
And if you're not looking, like if you're not being very mindful as a dominant, these two people would look the same, but it's very easy to see.
00:24:17
Speaker
It really is. And they're not the same. So if you are paying attention, You're able to see. Because like for me in particular, i see it a lot actually. a lot of men that come in to my paid sites and I see the red flags immediately.
00:24:37
Speaker
Like they're just wanting to give over everything and i just want to i just want to support you. I just want to blah, blah, blah. And I'm like...
00:24:48
Speaker
Sure, you've probably heard my files, which is great. You might have even listened to this podcast. But ah for me, if there's no intention behind anything,
00:25:02
Speaker
i i don't want it. And plus, I have to you going to... assess are you going to fizzle out tomorrow? Or am I going to see this same energy for years? Because that's another thing is, sure, I could be like, yeah, okay, mister, I've never seen your name before. Yeah, go ahead. give me Give me a couple hundred bucks right now. And then he does, and then he regrets it. And then tomorrow he deletes his account.
00:25:38
Speaker
um Now, if I took him and I molded him to my desires and i got to know what his needs are and I let him know what my needs are, I'm going to get a couple hundred from him over years, right?
00:25:58
Speaker
like let's say once a month for years and then he's more valuable so you know if I'm if I'm thinking about him in that way as a fin sub so that you absolutely can see and I think that like I always approach this fin dom space from a place of of being ethical because that's just who I am. i can't help it.
00:26:28
Speaker
I mean, sometimes I wish I could care less, but it's not who I am. um because I do, I do see other fin doms are just like, well, you know, fuck you. Like, give me money. Like, of it's just not me.
00:26:43
Speaker
And I, I'll never be not me. So anyway, i think that I think that for a true fandom, I think there has to be a real conversation about limits and about what someone's actual financial situation is, what they have designated as play budget versus what they actually need to function.
00:27:15
Speaker
And i would imagine that probably for some people, when you do get those red flag guys that come in and, oh, I want to give you so much money.
00:27:26
Speaker
Sure, I get that that's very tempting. You're like, well, fine. Like, I mean, I love getting money, but... I also, what's more important to me is working from a more ethical space. So I'm sure it's very hard for some people to see that and be able to redirect, to hold the power responsibly, even when that other person is like begging you, literally begging, um to send you money. i can, I totally get why that might be hard.
00:28:02
Speaker
But ah for me, I'm a creator in the long game. I'm a creator who cares about ethics. I'm a creator who cares about the people that are listening and supporting. i truly do. Even the even though there's some of them, i the way I talk to them is like they're trash. Yeah. But that's what they like. And so that's that's how we interact. But when they first came to me, I didn't talk to them that way. But once I dug in, i could see they're into that.
00:28:38
Speaker
But, you know, even Fendom should have ethics is my point. And in my experience, when when you do flex that, you do hold care and you do come from a place of ethical consideration, they respect you more.
00:29:05
Speaker
At least the ones that i want to I want to stick around. I'm sure there's some fin subs out there who think they're fin subs and would hear that and be like, no, whatever. You're not a real goddess. Well, you're not the right devotee for me because i need you to act from a place of of responsibility, just like I'm doing the same.
00:29:27
Speaker
Now let's move on and we're going to talk about what Fendom is not.
Clarifying Fendom: Ethics vs. Misconceptions
00:29:34
Speaker
Okay. And this, I think this section is important as well and I want to be super direct with it.
00:29:41
Speaker
So Fendom is not theft. It's not fraud and it's not scamming. It's not manipulation.
00:29:52
Speaker
Those things do exist in the world. We all know it. um And sometimes people do them while calling themselves fin doms.
00:30:05
Speaker
And that that sucks. Like it really does suck because it it gives us a bad name. But the costume that they're wearing does not make the crime a kink.
00:30:21
Speaker
Like what what they're doing, the ones who call themselves femdoms and are just scamming and manipulating, that's not kink. and You're just flat out like committing crimes. Yeah. You are a predator targeting people's financial vulnerability without consent.
00:30:40
Speaker
And it's not it's not a fetish. It's not a kink. Like they're creating real harm. And again, it makes me look bad as a legit ah dom.
00:30:52
Speaker
And that really pisses me off. Fendom also is not financial abuse. Now, I know that these two things can look very similar from the outside. And i think that's the part of what makes people uncomfortable with the kink.
00:31:12
Speaker
But let me lay this out for you. So in financial abuse, control is taken from you. And it's used to isolate and like diminish someone and restricts someone and the person experiencing it does not have a safe way out.
00:31:33
Speaker
Like they are stuck and they didn't choose to enter this kind of dynamic. Now, in... ethical fandom, the control is given, handed over.
00:31:48
Speaker
The submissive person and the dynamic walks in with the full knowledge of what they're entering and there have been established limits.
00:32:01
Speaker
They will also retain their agency even even while they're choosing to place it in someone else's hands.
00:32:13
Speaker
And ah a good ethical acting dom is actively protecting that person's well-being and not just serving their own interests.
00:32:28
Speaker
or or feeding impulses like unchecked. And so those are two fundamentally different things.
00:32:39
Speaker
And the confusion between them causes like real harm to people who participate in Fendom consensually. And I'm sure, I'm positive that there are doms out there that yeah perhaps aren't huge scammers, but what they're doing is probably not practicing safe, insane financial domination. And what's sad is that then a submissive that entered willingly, but then got kind of
00:33:20
Speaker
manipulated a little too hard like in ways they didn't agree to and then that is forever like tainted for them and that that's a bummer so You know, I want to be like super careful here because i don't think it's useful for me to spend a lot of time throwing people under the bus.
00:33:46
Speaker
But there has been some real damage done to how this kink is perceived. And I think that some of it came from inside...
00:33:59
Speaker
the world of online doming. And i think that when Femdom became more visible, like on social media, i think a certain wave of creators entered the space and really not because they had any type of like genuine interest in Femdom as a whole,
00:34:24
Speaker
But I think that they saw clips of women like, you know, demanding money and getting money and thought, well, shit, that looks easy. I can do that. I can get paid for doing nothing.
00:34:37
Speaker
And I think what followed is that some of these creators, they they were you know, not screening. they weren't They weren't establishing genuine relationship with the psychological responsibility involved. They weren't understanding the difference between like willing submissive and someone who's genuinely struggling.
00:35:08
Speaker
And I think that they target people in vulnerable states. I think that they equate the kink entirely with extraction, with getting as much as possible, as fast as possible with no attention to the person on the other side. And that is this is the part that really pisses me off, if you can't tell. Yeah.
00:35:33
Speaker
But, you know, I think there was a particular, like, tactic that spread through social media. and I think it caused significant harm to people.
00:35:47
Speaker
And the harm was to people outside the Fendom kink entirely. Okay. And this is where i'm going to get pissed off as well. So you're just going have to hear my rage.
00:36:01
Speaker
Okay. Like I, and I, I've seen this myself. I've seen it. So these quote unquote doms doing like public call outs of men who like shaming them for not paying and making the entire aesthetic of fin dom about humiliating random people who never, who never like wanted that.
00:36:33
Speaker
That's not kink. Like that, that's fucking harassment. And so if I am a person who's not into Fendom, okay, and I'm scrolling the streets of social media and I see this woman telling me that because I don't pay her, I'm, I'm a piece of crap. You know, I'm a piece of shit.
00:36:55
Speaker
I, I just, i don't, I don't like it. And I don't think it's very ethical. And I don't think it's hot either.
00:37:06
Speaker
i always say that a true goddess never begs, you know, and so that leads me to my other point is that There is a gross amount of quote unquote doms who are fishing for fin subs.
00:37:27
Speaker
So like they will find a man on social media that they can tell is a submissive male and they will reach out in their DMs like this guy's never heard from her. He doesn't even know who she is.
00:37:44
Speaker
fishing for tributes, fishing for him to take the bait. And that is that is gross, gross behavior. Because like I said, a true a true fucking dom isn't going to beg, isn't going to be looking for submissives.
00:38:03
Speaker
You simply exude the power and the people that are supposed to come and surrender to you or worship you or devote to you are going to come. You should never, ever beg, ever.
00:38:18
Speaker
And, you know, like I said, it just makes, it makes the whole thing look really gross. ah So i listen, I don't... If you have a really bad taste in your mouth of Fendom because of these reasons, like I don't blame you.
00:38:35
Speaker
i really don't. Because from from the outside, i started this with that caricature. it looks disgusting. It looks disgusting. um you know And I've seen also these Fendoms, quote-unquote...
00:38:52
Speaker
they actively target men with like compulsive spending tendencies or are in true financial crises.
00:39:04
Speaker
And that, like these people need support, not not a woman who's going to take advantage and just help him ruin his life quicker.
00:39:18
Speaker
that That's not cool. And so I think that all of this and more, there's so much more really, it creates an association between fandom and like predator behavior that isn't fair to the kink itself. And it makes it harder for creators who do this with genuine care like myself who who have integrity when it comes to this kink, to you know, and not ask to be taken seriously, um you know, it it makes it harder for us.
00:39:58
Speaker
And then it creates this whole like misconception of what it is. And I have to do this podcast episode, which you guys know I love doing these podcast episodes. But truly, like I, this has been fabulous for me to psychologically unpack the kink because it really is fascinating.
00:40:15
Speaker
So now I want to close with something that I think is actually the most interesting part. of this whole conversation.
Emotional and Psychological Depth of Fendom
00:40:25
Speaker
And I'm telling you, I'm looking at the time. I've been talking for like 40 minutes. i could talk about this so much longer.
00:40:32
Speaker
But money is one of the most emotionally loaded things in our human existence. it It truly carries so much of how we think about things like safety and like values and who we are in relation to other people.
00:40:55
Speaker
And most of us carry really complicated feelings about it. And often feelings like we've never even really looked at. um Those feelings we might get from our parents or, you know, an early experience or even a culture that is telling us that our worth is tied our net worth.
00:41:20
Speaker
And we know that's not true. So Fendom, when it's done with integrity, gives people a structured consensual container to engage with those feelings and to explore what it means to relinquish financial control. And it can bring up release and you know what they discover is about themselves in that space could actually be like really freeing.
00:41:56
Speaker
And, you know, that's not trivial. that This is like genuine, meaningful, psychological territory that people can get to.
00:42:11
Speaker
And let me not everyone can't get there through Fendom. I'm not saying that. I'm talking about the people who are into it. But I think that people who engage with it thoughtfully on both sides of the dynamic.
00:42:28
Speaker
I think that you start understanding something about power and money and vulnerability that you know most people will never get to look at that closely.
00:42:43
Speaker
um and when it's done carelessly, it causes real damage. It really does. and But the gap between these two outcomes,
00:42:59
Speaker
honestly really isn't unique to Fendom because that gap exists in every form of power exchange because I swear people are so shitty sometimes. They're taking advantage of of things, ah vulnerable people and It just, it sucks. But what can make the difference is is always the same thing, though. Whether we're talking about fandom, cuckold, just basic power exchange.
00:43:30
Speaker
What makes the difference is this, care, skill, consent, and honesty and communication. Okay.
00:43:43
Speaker
Findom is not a scam when it's done from the right place. Let's just call it it's it, there's a PR problem. Okay.
00:43:55
Speaker
And trust me, i get it. I'm on i'm on Twitter X and oh my God, the quote unquote doms on there, I almost can't scroll sometimes because I start getting pissed off.
00:44:09
Speaker
But I want to thank you for spending time with me. If this episode did give you something to think about, that makes me very happy.
00:44:21
Speaker
i hope I was able to shed some light into this kink today. Share it to people who are just wildly curious about what it even is or someone who's been skeptical about it. If you still hate it as a whole, that's okay too. I'm not here to change your mind. I'm here to educate and to unpack these kinks and bring the energy that I think is deserving to these kinks that a lot of people engage with.
00:44:57
Speaker
So if you want to find my Clip Store content, my Fendom content, you know where to look. There is a link in this episode description, or you can fact like just Google me online.
00:45:10
Speaker
And if you have any questions or topics or things you want me to dig into in a future episode, drop them my way in the comments or an email. And as always, thank you. and until next time,
00:45:28
Speaker
And that's a wrap for this episode of The Slut Next Door, where we dive deep into the raw, unapologetic truths of human desire.
00:45:40
Speaker
If you loved what you heard today, make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a juicy moment. Want to connect with me outside the podcast?
00:45:55
Speaker
Click the link in my bio where you can find lots of juicy content and options. Until next time, I'm Beatrix Vail, your Slut Next Door, and I'll see you in the next episode.