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Social Media Comments
152 Plays1 year ago
Whether we ask for it or not, we get comments on social media. Some can be very uplifting and helpful, but others can be very hurtful and demeaning. It is quite hard to point out if they are actually being genuine or not, hence this is where we end up hurt or personally attacked.
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Transcript
Introduction and Apology
00:00:14
Speaker
Hey guys, so welcome back to the podcast. Once again, I'm on this apology tour because last week, very last minute, me and my dad, we went back to Miami so I can pick up my keys for the apartment and everything.
00:00:32
Speaker
It was very, very last minute, but we had to do that. Hence, I wasn't able to record any of the episode that week. Hence, no episode that week. But wanted to apologize for that. But here I am back with another episode. And hopefully I will have at least one more episode before the end of the year. Then there will be like one week break or something. Then we will be back. But just wanted to give you guys like a little bit update on that.
00:00:59
Speaker
So I'm gonna also get you guys a little bit update on what I did. But before that, let me tell you guys about today's topic.
Social Media Comments Discussion
00:01:06
Speaker
So today we will be talking about social media comments, especially hate comments. This past week I have posted a video and it got so many comments, so many like interesting comments that I just wanted to share with you guys and just give you guys my whole perspective on hate comments.
00:01:27
Speaker
or just overall like comments and arguments and like the things that you get on social media that might not align with some people's concepts or ideas. I feel like it's interesting to talk about because sometimes we get so attached to it and we feel so personal about it. So yeah, that will be the topic for today.
Miami Trip and Apartment Excitement
00:01:47
Speaker
But let me give you guys a little bit update. So yeah, last week we went back to Miami and I officially picked up my keys. I kind of like, nah, I know pretty much like everything in the building. I have my package room and everything. I'm very, very excited. I even like get a notification. There's an app that tells you when you have a package. So cool. And it even tells me what's the package because it takes a picture of it. I'm like so amazed by that.
00:02:16
Speaker
and we also like got a bunch of furniture and I can't believe that furniture is insane guys like getting a furniture everything takes such a long time but I'm so glad at this I have a bed now and I also got a mattress from IKEA so thank you IKEA I did pay for it this is not the sponsorship but like it was great that it was available and I also got the
00:02:43
Speaker
a mirror from IKEA and I want to tell you guys about this because if you want like a big mirror it is very expensive most places like if you look at West Elm and stuff it's like $500 so far you only have like two options it's either IKEA some mirror it's the big mirror you will see it's like only $150 or
00:03:06
Speaker
I didn't know about this option. I saw it in someone's vlog. Actually, there is a big mirror with like a big frame. It's like black frame or something at Walmart. That's also an option. I think the reason I didn't go with Walmart because like the frame is a bit thicker, the edges. So you don't see more of the mirror. That's why.
00:03:26
Speaker
Hence, it's not exactly like my style, so I didn't go with that. Also, I'm trying to stick more into like, I don't know. I do like the black sometimes, but I feel like I'm trying not to have too many black stuff, like kind of like in between, because I always have a lot of gray things in the apartment, so I do want to have some gray and like some open, lighter colors, so kind of like that. Anyways.
00:03:51
Speaker
Yeah, we did get that as well. So I feel like the bedroom is pretty much done and there's like nightstands left.
Shopping Tips and Recommendations
00:03:58
Speaker
I finally, finally ordered a couch online, which I can't believe it that that took so long for me to do it. But it was still not cheap, but I did get on a discount and it is actually in stock. So it's going to come very soon that I'm very excited because most couches that I was looking at, it was either out of stock
00:04:18
Speaker
or they were just ugly and the ones that I wanted they were not coming until like later like February or March so I was like I don't want that so anyways for that aspect I'm very happy that I made the choice so hopefully it goes well but I have a couple more things that I want to do
00:04:36
Speaker
Oh, but one thing I want to end it and this is like just a tip for everyone. Guys, please don't sleep on on the bed bath and be on membership. I forgot that I actually had the membership because the one time I was buying a coffee maker and it was giving more discounts. I got the membership and I forgot that it still exists. Like it hasn't expired yet because I did cancel it. I remember for the subscription.
00:05:02
Speaker
So I did end up using that as well. And there was also sale. So I bought like almost everything I want for the kitchen. And total was gonna be like $200, but I only paid like $140 for everything. So very, very good money. And I buy everything in the set, like the pans and the plates and everything. So it was very, very good choice. Would definitely recommend it if you're moving to new place, getting new things for the kitchen. Don't sleep on bad bath and beyond.
00:05:32
Speaker
definitely recommend it. Now move on to today's episode. Comments.
Impact of Malicious Comments
00:05:37
Speaker
This is something where I sometimes hate social media because of it. And not to say that like, oh my god, like comments are not like part of the social media and like it shouldn't be even part of it and like it sucks. Like no, there are times that I feel like comments could be very constructive or
00:05:57
Speaker
You know, it doesn't always have to be like, oh my god, amazing, great, love it, gorgeous. Like, it doesn't have to be. I totally get that. But then there are also times that it could be constructive, so I get it. You know, like, you could fix this, you could do that. But you have to say it in a nice way.
00:06:12
Speaker
I just feel like then there are times that it took a turn and it just turns into something very malicious and it just doesn't seem constructive at all it seems more judgmental or on top of it it just seems like you're attacking someone and I feel like this is where you need to like put boundaries or you need to just like kind of separate yourself from
00:06:36
Speaker
this situation because what happens is that like I think sometimes we our persona on social media get mixed up with ourselves in real life and this is where the lines gets blurred and we take these comments super personal like or personally we take it to the heart
00:07:00
Speaker
And this is where, like, problems happen or this affects our self-esteem or this affects us overall. This makes us question ourselves. And I feel like that's why we have to separate ourselves from the persona that we created on social media versus the person that we are in real life. And not to say that there are any similarities. Obviously, there are overlaps because that's who you are.
00:07:27
Speaker
But it cannot be the same person. You always have to remember that it is like something you created, who you make of it and what you are trying to post. It's all in your control. So when you get these comments, I feel like sometimes you always have to take it with a grain of salt. Be like, this is not real. I don't know this person. This person doesn't know me. And also, this is not like
00:07:49
Speaker
They're not judging you or they're not criticizing you. They're criticizing this persona that you created. And that's okay because not everyone has to agree with what you're saying. Like, let me give you guys an example. This past weekend when I was in Miami, I think I posted this video on TikTok, which I didn't think it was even that controversial.
00:08:10
Speaker
I think I was using this sound saying, no, no, no, no, no. And I think the sound was about something else, which is, I don't care, honestly. But I wanted to make it about my niche. So I was like, when someone start their sentence by saying, I don't use sunscreen on a daily basis or daily, something like that.
00:08:27
Speaker
And people were like, I think TikTok was fine. And I posted on YouTube shorts, which I was like, I usually never post on YouTube shorts. I'm slowly getting into that. People went crazy. I got like first three comments, no, first two comments in the like first five minutes I posted. There was a question mark. And I was like, oh, like you don't like sunscreen?
00:08:51
Speaker
Then people are like, I mean, it's all right, but I don't use it daily. Then they're like, I love sunscreen, but why would I use it daily? So it's like people are getting very upset about it. Then they're like, oh, you know, I don't need to use it. It's like you're just making shit up. Like this is not about it. It's like
00:09:13
Speaker
I was like, okay, I mean, you don't have to use it. It's cool. Like, you don't have to get so worked up about it. But people were getting really, really worked up. And some people were saying that, like, oh, I mean, who uses sunscreen on a daily basis? Like, that's not even a thing.
00:09:32
Speaker
Oh my God, what else is it? I'm trying to read it. Someone's like, oh, this is funny or whatever. Then someone is like, oh my God, it's because I am white. So which is true. I'm like, yeah, I am white. Yes, that's me. That's why I'm using it.
00:09:47
Speaker
Then someone is like, no, you don't have to use sunscreen daily basis sunscreen causes cancer. Again, all of these are myths or hypothesis. So I'm like, ask your dermatologist and they are started attacking me that like, oh my god, like you're using this you're doing this. It's because you have your skin color is different. That's why.
00:10:06
Speaker
It is insane that how people were taking this so seriously. And the thing is, I see it. I didn't even think that this was going to be like a controversial topic because it's like it really is not. So I didn't really think twice about it. But the fact that people went above and beyond to attack what I was saying
00:10:28
Speaker
And I think I was thinking more in like a conversational, funny way. It's like, if you don't use it, it's cool. Like, I'm not gonna be like, oh my God, like, fuck you, you should use sunscreen. Yeah, like, I would recommend that you use it, but if you don't use it, it's like, I'm not gonna force it down your throat and apply it on your skin, you know, like.
00:10:46
Speaker
Do you? If you're going to get cancer, if you're going to have cancer, skin disease or whatever, it's up to you. If you don't want to protect yourself, your skin, it is up to you. I cannot, I cannot control that, right? But the fact that some people really believe in that like sunscreen causes cancer or the fact that they shouldn't use sunscreen because they want to get tan is like
00:11:12
Speaker
So ridiculous to me. And that's why I was saying in the comments that I'm like, ask your dermatologist. That's like the number one thing all of these dermatologists recommend is that like make sure to use sunscreen or make sure to protect your skin from the sunlight, apply moisturizer.
00:11:27
Speaker
stuff like that. It's like, just common sense. This is why I feel like sometimes like, I want to make these like educational topics, then when I make something fun, it always turns out the other way. And when I make something like this, it just doesn't work. Like this is what I'm saying. I feel like on social media so far, at least for me, I have never gone viral.
00:11:52
Speaker
or I have never gone like many comments or many engagement just because I posted something educational. Usually I did it because it was controversial or I posted some thirsty picture on like somewhere. People are like, oh, great. Like I'm just saying it has never been the occasion. Which makes a question. Why am I even on social media sometimes?
Personal Experiences with Online Negativity
00:12:15
Speaker
Cause I'm like, let's just like, do I just quit? Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I think about that. Then I'm like, no, I, I still love social media. I love so much. Think about it. But like these comments can be so hurtful sometimes.
00:12:35
Speaker
This was just one of them, right? Like this was most to do with the sunscreen or whatever. Then people started commenting on my skin, which is whatever. I honestly don't care. But then there are other ones that get a bit more personal. And I feel like this is where I'm like, why do you have to go there?
00:12:51
Speaker
Like amount of times I got a comment saying I'm gay. It's like I feel like I would be a billionaire at this point. Like amount of times, at least every other video that I post, doesn't matter where, I get comments saying gay. Like okay, but what am I supposed to do with that information? Or what do you want me to do about it? So yeah, okay. Like do you want to tell someone that they're black?
00:13:19
Speaker
Yeah, I am. Or like someone else is, I mean, not me, but I'm like, just saying like, it's like, yeah, people can look in the mirror to see themselves or they know themselves. Like, why do you have to say that? I have no idea to ashamed people. Like, I don't know. I really don't know. Or just say like, oh, this person sounds gay. Like, that is so hurtful and so just rude. It's like, why do you have to say that?
00:13:42
Speaker
I never understand these comments because I'm like obviously it means that like this person is homophobic or this person is just like not
00:13:51
Speaker
open-minded or whatever, but you don't even have to be open-minded. It's just like it's part of human being. It's like people are bi, people are gay, people are lesbian, people are, I don't know, like all kinds of things. So it's like none of your business. And the fact that I think what makes me upset is that like that these videos or these content that I put it out there has nothing to do with my sexual orientation or with my personal life. I literally talk about sunscreen.
00:14:21
Speaker
or I talk about fashion. I talk about my hauls, that would have been unboxing and stuff. It had nothing to do with me. But the fact that people find a way to make this personal, that is beyond my understanding. I just don't get it.
00:14:39
Speaker
And another thing, just the one last comment that I'm going to put it here is that like, people comment a lot about my voice. They're like how it sounds so different or your voice is so gay. It's like, thank you. Thank you for saying that. Like, what can I do? Like, this is a voice that I was born with and there's nothing I can do about it. So what can I do about that?
00:15:00
Speaker
As I'm saying, I feel like there are some things that I see that I'm like, it's constructive. This is good that you told me that, like I get that. Like there was a time that when I wore socks with the sandals. Yeah, I was, I wasn't heard about it. I was like, okay, yeah, that's a good point. Like I should have tried different. I get it. People still shred me to tears, but I get it. Okay. I won't wear socks with sandals. Like I get it. Point taken. Like I get it. But the fact that you're commenting about my sexual orientation or my voice,
00:15:29
Speaker
I just feel like I don't know what can I do about that. If you don't like it, that's cool, but I can't do anything about it. And this is why I'm saying that I feel like on social media, people sometimes take things to the next level in a very, very weird and bad way.
00:15:50
Speaker
I think about that like if you don't like the content or this something is bothering you simply whole press and hold and say not interested if you're on tiktok or if you're on instagram i don't know say i'm not interested or
00:16:07
Speaker
Don't show this content something like that. I'm just saying there are ways that takes less effort than leaving a comment that could hurt someone or that's that doesn't seem as helpful because at this point you're projecting your insecurities or your feelings or whatever you're going through
00:16:28
Speaker
into someone else that you don't even know and you think that this person is this is not a person because I feel like this is what I always think about. I'm like, yes, maybe you think that I'm not going to see this comment, but for fact, I see those comments and I assure you, even like people who have millions of followers, they see the comments.
00:16:47
Speaker
So why? Like don't do it.
Encouragement for Thoughtful Commenting
00:16:50
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. It's like those comments are not helpful. I feel like only time I would say that like leave a comment, if it is something constructive, it's fun, I get it. But I feel like when it comes to something super, super personal about themselves, about these people, and it has nothing to do with the topic,
00:17:05
Speaker
Like this sunscreen, right? This is perfect. Like I don't care. Like people have their opinions. It seemed very constructive. We were going back and forth and I was educating people because some of them were like, oh my God, sunscreen causes cancer. I'm like, that's not true. Like you should ask your dermatologist. Ask your derm. Like
00:17:20
Speaker
those are I'm very, very happy about that we're having those discussions. But then there are other ones, it's like we're having a discussion about me, about how I look, or how I have nose hair or something popping out, or how my face looks like this, or how I sound like that. Those are the things I'm like, I can't do anything about it. Do you want me to get plastic surgery? Do you want me to change my voice? It's like, no, I can't do that. And that's where I feel like we have to draw the line when something personal comes up. It's like,
00:17:49
Speaker
either just let it go and just never think about it or just honestly just delete it because I feel like I understand that and there were a couple times it even happened because some of my videos were being promoted by the brand and they left the comments in those videos and I felt bad for the brand but thank god like I think the brand noticed it because I was getting a lot of comments like saying gay gay gay gay I'm like great but thank god the brand deleted
00:18:14
Speaker
But I'm saying, like, see, they were understanding. But the fact that I have to go through this and the brands are seeing it, it's like, it's not fair. And I feel like we are in 2020, well, 2020, oh my God, 2022, I can't believe it, time lies so fast. The fact that we are still talking about these things, I just can't register in my brain. And that's why I just wanted to put it out here that I feel like whenever you write a comment on social media, think twice before you press that button.
00:18:44
Speaker
think twice that like there's a person on the other side of the screen and they're going to see this. Even if you think that they're not going to see, assume that they're going to see it. Would you say this to their face?
Maintaining Boundaries and Self-Esteem
00:18:55
Speaker
Probably not. So think twice before you do that because comments are very important. Comments can make someone's day or break their day and I think it's just important to think twice about it and I feel like
00:19:08
Speaker
It's important to have healthy conversation, healthy discussion. But anything beyond that, I just don't think it is your business or it's anyone's business to comment about people's appearances and stuff like that. And even if they have gone through procedures or they have gone through stuff,
00:19:25
Speaker
I still think it's not fair to talk about it because it's like it's people's opinions, people's lives, people's choices. They can make whatever the choice they want. But the fact that I feel like people sometimes go so beyond that shows the insecurity that they have. Because why would you want to comment about someone's appearance that has nothing to do with you or like
00:19:47
Speaker
just doesn't concern you. But the fact that it's like people go extra mile just to do that, that just I'm having a hard time understanding that. But that's why also putting the other side to that is that people like me or everyone who get comments like this is like, separate yourself from this. Don't take them personal.
00:20:09
Speaker
Either don't respond them, delete them. Just, like, do whatever you need to do that, like, that doesn't affect you. But I feel like as you disassociate yourself from this or from, like, the content, because I feel like, yes, you're posting the content, but you're not the content. You are more than that. So, I feel like that's why sometimes we have to separate ourselves and put these boundaries
00:20:30
Speaker
And that's where we can have healthy relationship with social media, that we don't get so attached to it, that it can affect our self-esteem, our mental health, or many things that we go through on a daily basis. Anyways guys, so that was the episode for today. I hope you guys like this episode. If you do, please don't forget to rate us on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And I'll see you guys next week with another episode. Bye guys.