Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Cost of Hate: Mental Health and Self-Esteem On Social Media
159 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, we take a deep dive into the topic of hate comments on social media. We discuss the impact that hate comments can have on mental health and self-esteem, as well as the prevalence of online bullying. We also explore the root causes of hate comments and how we can work together to promote empathy and kindness online. Throughout the episode, we provide real-life examples of hate comments and how to properly react to them.
If you've ever experienced a hate comment or simply want to learn more about how to promote positivity online, this episode is for you. Join us as we discuss the impact of hate comments and how we can work towards a more empathetic and supportive online community.
Apple Podcasts: http://apple.co/2TF3VnS
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2AfNQia
Google Podcasts: https://bit.ly/3pmXw09
Amazon: https://amzn.to/2FKeu5X
Follow the podcast: @wildandbasic on IG or "Wild & Basic Podcast" on YouTube
Recommended![Here's Why You Need To Stop Romanticizing Things [ARCHIVE] image](https://media.zencastr.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=112,quality=85/image-files/5f91ebfac8563f066ccd6ff7/40d37721-effc-46c6-a3ac-379b065090cd.jpeg)
![The Reality Of Owning A Business With Jennifer Walsh [ARCHIVE] image](https://media.zencastr.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=112,quality=85/image-files/5f91ebfac8563f066ccd6ff7/ee915752-be92-4445-8572-81c9dc55b801.jpg)
Transcript
Introduction and Format Change
00:00:14
Speaker
Hello guys, so welcome to Wild and Facebook. So today is another episode, like video episode.
00:00:28
Speaker
I am trying to get used to this because it's getting like super weird with me like hearing myself in the microphone. I'm so used to it when I do like in the what is like an audio version but like when I'm doing like a video it's like throwing me off. I feel like I do need to hear myself like here and there like this. It's gonna be like a DJ.
00:00:50
Speaker
If you're on like the video, you're gonna know what I'm talking about. But if you don't know, I am literally just like this. I would be probably listening to myself to make sure it sounds alright. But anyways, so welcome guys. Welcome to today's episode.
Reacting to Hate Comments
00:01:08
Speaker
So today, you're going to be actually
00:01:10
Speaker
touching base on hate comments and i have definitely talked about it before in my videos and also a couple times on my tiktok and also i think one of the episodes on this podcast
00:01:22
Speaker
But this time, it's gonna be more fun, I'll be reacting to these comments. I went through all of my social media channels, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, well, not Facebook, I don't have Facebook, Instagram, everything, I mean, everything I have owned, and I've used Pinterest even, went through all these mean comments that I could find, and I want us to react to it. It's gonna be more like a fun reaction,
00:01:55
Speaker
I just wanted to make it like a lighthearted episode but also just put it out there that like there are comments like that that people put it out there that there's not much you could do about it and it honestly truly sucks but honestly there's nothing you could do about it so hence this episode and also I have seen some other people doing it too I feel like it's kind of fun to react to your comments and I can also do this like regularly because I don't think they're ever going to stop so
00:02:15
Speaker
It's gonna be funny, but also there is some truth to it, obviously.
00:02:24
Speaker
Before that, let me do a little bit of updates. This is something that I'm going to be doing a lot. I used to do it every episode as well, so it's going to be like that. So, little update about life and what's been going on.
Adapting to Miami and Influencer Life
00:02:41
Speaker
So, great thing about being in Miami so far, I would say ever since when I first moved here,
00:02:51
Speaker
first couple of weeks like things were very different and I was kind of like having second thoughts to be honest I was like I don't know if Miami is right for me like is this like the place that I want to be at but then I started making friends I started meeting people and this past weekend I went to my first influencer event in Miami I haven't done any influencer events in New York City but I have never been to an influencer event like
00:03:19
Speaker
I thought outside of New York City. Maybe I have been to one in LA but that was like kind of like a movie. It's like a premiere movie, very different story. This one was like an event, not like a very big scale event but something like that I want to check it out and like explore and also meet other creators. So that was definitely good and it was like with the Parisian skincare brand and made a connection with them so I was very happy about that. So things are I feel like slowly coming into place for me.
00:03:49
Speaker
i feel like i'm finally starting to like get a hang of miami and that's that's that's feeling good like i i really feel like uh it's finally becoming home i feel like it definitely takes time and for a lot of people that does too like not just with miami like nowhere where you moved just in the beginning you know things are very different you know like you don't feel like you belong to this place and you don't feel like
00:04:18
Speaker
it's
00:04:35
Speaker
but I am very excited in that aspect and I feel like also things are slowly adding up my social calendar work-wise but also like just casual social calendar I guess so that's been making me feel better because I think when I first got here yes I had like
00:04:56
Speaker
PR or like brand deals that I have to do myself but I was kind of missing out on the aspect of like social life friends or like events that's something I was like really craving for and I feel like those are finally happening and that is something I am very excited about so we'll see how that's gonna happen and how that's gonna go but those are the little bit updates so far so without further ado let's get on to today's episode let me start with the one that is unlike
00:05:26
Speaker
kind of a hot boy because
TikTok Trends and Self-Perception
00:05:30
Speaker
this is very funny actually like this happens a lot i feel like on tiktok ever since like tiktok came around this is what's been happening to me the days that i feel better about myself or i just feel okay i guess then i go on tiktok i either do a live or like just post something then maybe like one or two comments that come along and i'm just kind of like
00:05:58
Speaker
what is going on, right? So there is this thing that I posted, like I just want to give you guys a little bit of a context. So the sound goes as like, what does the sound go like? Yeah, the sound was like, Oh, you said I'm so like, I think boring. But that's so rich coming from you, something like that.
00:06:23
Speaker
So it was a trend, obviously. I feel like everyone knows this. Like on TikTok, there's just trends everywhere and like some sounds are kind of like iffy, controversial, some are not. So I was just going with that, right? And I was like, oh, like you said I'm so f-ing boring. Then someone in comments is like, it's kind of true. So it's like, you know what? Like, fine. You think it's...
00:06:49
Speaker
fine like that i'm boring you know it's okay i mean no maybe i'm not the most interesting person that you have met or you have followed uh but i also checked like they're following me so i'm like i don't even know who you are but the fact that you're calling me boring like it's cool that's what i'm saying it's like i'm not gonna take it seriously
00:07:12
Speaker
But it's like you know what happens like some days that you know you just feel better about your content or you just feel I don't know you just feel better about yourself or what's going on and Things like this happen obviously this is like I feel like just tip of the iceberg It's nothing like that bad of a comment but just the fact that you're seeing that because it's like a trend that I feel like you wouldn't expect people to take it like
00:07:40
Speaker
so seriously or just like just literally because the trend was just like oh like people would be like it's more about like lifting you up not letting you down but that tends to happen the other way around for me anyways so let's do the second one so this one is actually an ad
Confidence and Hair Growth Product Criticism
00:08:02
Speaker
that I posted about this company called Keeps. So it's like they have shampoo, they have conditioner, they have other products for men's hair and it's like it's helping you, it helps the men's hair like growth. Hair growth process, essentially that's what it is. So then other person, that's something like other person says,
00:08:25
Speaker
Because the product that I'm promoting is I think part of it is Minoxidil. It's like a very common product that people use for hair growth. And he's like promoting Minoxidil to people that don't have hair loss because I don't have hair loss I guess.
00:08:42
Speaker
or just overall I don't know to him I guess I'm not sure what he's meaning by that and he's like I mean to be I think honest it looks like this dude does have hair loss and a transplant based on the thinning on his hair so here goes my another confidence right like there it is you know people think that I have hair loss
00:09:11
Speaker
or and also he thinks that I have a transplant. So it's all right, you know, like some pills, I feel like the time that I saw the comment, I was kind of pissed about it, but I was like, okay, it's whatever because I, the reason I feel like I get pissed about this a lot is because I remember my ex used to say this shit to me all the time that like, are you sure you're not getting bald? Are you sure like your hair is not thinning?
00:09:40
Speaker
Let me just clarify a few things. Yes, I have like thin hair. Usually that's how it's been my whole life. I have white hairs. That is something I accepted and that has been like that since I was like, I don't know, 15, 16. It's very genetics. And I, my dad also had very like thin hair. We never had like, oh my God, full grown hair.
00:10:07
Speaker
I mean, we are white people, it's different. I never had a full cut of hair. I mean, you can see now. I mean, it just depends. And also there are times that I just cut my hair very short because I just don't like too much hair. That's just me. But the fact that people ask me this many times that if I got a hair transplant and people assume, not even just assume, they legit just helped me that I've gotten a hair transplant and I'm hiding it.
00:10:36
Speaker
I don't know, I really don't know why would I hide that, unless it was a brand deal. If brand was paying me, I don't know, but I don't know if I would get it though, I have no idea. So no, I don't have hair transplants, or, I mean, hair thinning, if you think it is, probably I guess. I don't know. It was a check, okay? It was for the check.
00:10:58
Speaker
Like I think that's something I want to make it very clear. First I still use their products, the shampoo and conditioner, but also on top of it is I feel like, I don't know, like don't you sometimes do stuff for work? Like assume this advertising is my work. So I do things for that and a lot of creators do things for that. So I'm just gonna end it with that. Next one. This one is very juicy actually.
Addressing Voice and Identity Comments
00:11:29
Speaker
Not I'm laughing at this, but like I remember because this is a comment that I usually get quite a lot or especially even when I do my lives Your voice is very annoying grow up so
00:11:49
Speaker
I get this comment like all the time and it's associated with another comment that I'm gonna get into very at the end because I feel like it's just not like a positive note and I want to end it towards it later so yeah I might sound my voice can sound I don't know off sometimes different
00:12:10
Speaker
let me explain a little bit like when I was a kid I had a different voice obviously everyone had different voices when they were kids and I could actually sing when I was a kid I remember I have I have sang in like a competition I have sung in another competition I have I've sung at like some like
00:12:29
Speaker
some stuff at the church or some places at like the school like i have done stuff like that like and i could say like at that time but ever since i hit puberty which was about i don't know when i was like 14 15 my voice started to change and it was kind of like this honestly i don't think it has changed a lot but there are times that my voice becomes like i don't know like
00:12:59
Speaker
very like I guess like somewhat manly but there are times that it becomes a bit more feminine it like switches back and forth and to be 100% honest I have zero control over that there are occasions that I could kind of control it my pitch but the way how it sounds like there is absolutely no control over that
00:13:23
Speaker
Pitch, I can somewhat control. Somewhat. Again, although I'm not a singer, so I don't know what I would do. But also on top of it, I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about how my voice sounds like. If it is annoying, I am so sorry. Please don't... You don't have to listen to me. You just don't have to listen to me. If you don't like how I sound like, please block me. Like, please unfollow me. Please...
00:13:52
Speaker
I don't know, do something else. You don't have to follow me, you don't have to like me. If you think my voice is super, super annoying, you don't have to tell me. Because these are some things that I cannot change. I mean, do you want me to get a surgery? Do you want me to change my voice? Do you want me to doubt myself? Just like people do in TV shows? I don't know.
00:14:18
Speaker
I'm just saying like there's very like little things I could do and to be honest sometimes I do like my voice yes it might sound annoying sometimes it might sound like like this sometimes like I don't know like it is something that like I am I'm bored with and I'm learning to be proud of it because I just don't care at this point
00:14:45
Speaker
Anyways, now let's move on to the next. So this one is kind of connected to the other thing that I was just gonna mention. People say that like, your voice sounds gay. Like it's like I am making this voice because like to be gay or to sound gay. I don't know what they're trying to mean but like that's essential with this.
00:15:11
Speaker
No, I'm not pretending to sound like this. This is legit how I sound like. I talk to brands like this. I talk to people like this in a business meeting. This is how I talk. Yeah, maybe there are times that I try to be more gentle or there are times that I try to be, I don't know, like a bit more polite. I don't know. Like I feel like sometimes when I'm nervous, my voice can get very feminine.
00:15:39
Speaker
because I'm super nervous and I'm watching what I'm saying but also my voice, I just cannot control it, I just get so nervous and thinks. I don't know how it sounds like. Also that my voice is being recorded, it sounds completely different than what it sounds like right now to my ears. Hence I was listening to that one point and I cannot listen to it anymore because it's like, I just can't. I'm just saying.
00:16:06
Speaker
So there there are stuff like that that happens, but no I don't Make myself sound like that. This is legit how I sound like that, and it's not like a gay voice because I think that's something people mentioned a lot like oh Because this person is like looks so muscular, but he sounds I'm muscular, but he sounds like He sounds very feminine
00:16:29
Speaker
Like people say that I think about Kyle Krieger, he's like one of the influencers on Instagram. Like people say like, oh, he sounds like that. But I'm like, I don't, like he doesn't make that. I'm pretty sure he doesn't make that. That's just how he sounds like. And that's okay. I feel like you don't have to make him feel bad about himself. I mean, I also don't think he cares, but I'm just saying from my perspective that it's just something, a part of you.
00:16:58
Speaker
You know what I mean? And you cannot change that. All you can do is to be proud of it. And I mean, if you just don't like it, just don't say anything. Or just like leave, honestly. Okay, yeah, this is something I was saying. Like, why are you talking like gay? That's the comment I just mentioned about it. Then other one that's related to this one as well. This is a bunch of them I'm gonna read, then I will get into it. He's definitely gay.
00:17:28
Speaker
Gay AF. That is gay. Gay. Gay. So gay. No gays. You're so gay. You look gay. I'm like, what other ones? Okay, essentially you guys get the point. That's what it is comes to. Yes, I'm gay.
00:17:58
Speaker
I feel like I made that very clear from the very beginning, I don't know why I have to say that many times. Am I in the gay niche or am I considered like a gay influencer? There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying. No, probably not. I am more in the lifestyle niche, lifestyle, beauty, somewhat fashion, sometimes like goes into health, lifestyle overall in that niche. So maybe that's why I'm reaching, I reach more to like,
00:18:26
Speaker
overall demographic not just I guess gay demographic I have a lot of women followers I have a lot of men followers maybe a lot of men followers who are also not necessarily gay and that's okay because my content is not like tailored toward gay men it's tailored toward
00:18:46
Speaker
anyone who resonates with that content. And that content is not necessarily about gay men. It's about like products I use. It's about like some stuff I eat, nutrition, I don't know, like things to do in your life, stuff like that, which is something everyone does, not just gay person. And there's nothing wrong with being gay, but the fact that I feel like people has to say that,
00:19:11
Speaker
or like just pointed out. I feel like that what gets me gets my water gets my water. I mean it's my blood boiling because I just don't understand what's like what you are trying to say.
00:19:27
Speaker
I mean, if you're homophobic, that's okay. I get it. That's you. But you don't have to comment that. You know what I mean? Because there's not much I could do with that. And I don't know what to take out that, honestly. It's like this similar equivalent of what you were just saying, what people were just saying earlier. Like, my voice sounds gay or my voice is annoying. There's nothing I could do about it. It's something that defines me.
00:19:51
Speaker
that's like who I am there's absolutely nothing I can do but thank you for that irrelevant comment that I honestly don't know what to do I wanna try it next time or once in my life just to see I just don't feel like I would ever do it but just type be like you're straight you're so straight I wanna see what will people say people will probably like you're so annoying
00:20:20
Speaker
sometimes I like comments like this because I'm like maybe she's trying to be you know like not critical but like she's just trying to get constructive feedback then also these were some of the pictures that I'm like I tried so hard and be like I really want to make myself look good but I just want to look good and I think I feel like I used this picture for my podcast cover or something and someone said you
00:20:50
Speaker
other person just straight up put poop emoji poop emoji and another emoji then he said something in another language and I translated that it means trash so and then this is all about the same picture and someone said you look like a you look like shroud lol
00:21:15
Speaker
I honestly didn't know what that meant but it's like I think it's like a cloth that people use for like dead person so like I guess she meant like I look like a dead person this I'm like maybe
00:21:39
Speaker
because I remember this was probably like back in 2000, I don't know, 1918.
Photo Editing Reflection and Criticism
00:21:46
Speaker
There were times that like I was like still not like new, but I was like kind of like overly editing my photos time. The times like I had these filters and I don't know if I had my own filters or they were just like
00:22:04
Speaker
the filters that I got from VSCO. I don't know if VSCO was a thing at that time, but VSCO was so popular at one point. So I felt like I was using that and I feel like at that point I wasn't editing it that detailedly. I was kind of like slapping the filter and instead of
00:22:23
Speaker
adjusting it a little bit. I would maybe adjust it just a little bit, but everything was so like over the top for me. Not in a bad way, but it was more like I wanted a lot of colors. I wanted like less skin tone and everything. And when I'm looking at the picture, yeah, I do look like I am pale. Like I look very pale. Like, I don't know, like you guys cannot see, but I look very pale. So I can see
00:22:52
Speaker
Maybe I look like I'm about to die, or I'm dying, something like that. So I give you points for that, guys. Like, that was actually very constructive feedback, I don't know. Although it made me feel better about it, because I feel like I probably spend, like, two and a half hours, or at least two hours, for that picture to edit and, like, post about it and, like, do it. So, um, you know, it's okay.
00:23:21
Speaker
I'm trying to swallow that pill. And another one, this was the one that was kind of like popular and I feel like I have probably talked about this everywhere and I just want to mention it here. I'm kind of like over it, but at that time I was kind of like, what's going on? So there is this time, there was another app that was very popular. It's called 20 month buttons. It's kind of like an app that people, a lot of influencers were using it to post their, like their outfits.
00:23:51
Speaker
And there was a time that I posted this because I was going to a festival, I think. And I got these sandals that were kind of like somewhat, not a stretch, checkered. Yeah, checkered. It looks like a check board, essentially. Like black and white boxes, stuff like that. And I wore them and I was like, oh, I really don't like
00:24:18
Speaker
the look of the feet or any feet. Like I just don't like feet. Like I just feel like feet are something so gross. So anyway, I, I just wore socks with the sandals and, but it's not one of those sandals that like you just wear. Like you had a strap on the side and everything. It wasn't like a slide. It was like a sandal. So, and I was wearing, uh, no, I was wearing t-shirt and I was wearing like some shorts with it and stuff like that.
00:24:46
Speaker
So people come at me that, oh, you're weighing socks with the sandals. That's like horrible. Like that looks so bad. It's so ugly. And someone else said, there was one comment says, I guess so ugly. Another person was like, socks and sandals. Ew. Socks and sandals, like barf emoji.
00:25:12
Speaker
You know what? It's cool. Maybe everyone has different tastes when it comes to that. But I feel like anything is what I was like, why it was even chosen me to do it. It's because I'm pretty sure whenever usually I am planning an outfit for an event or stuff like that, I go on Pinterest or I go on TikTok. I go on Instagram. I never think there was TikTok at that point. But yeah, I go on platforms like that and I just look for ideas.
00:25:40
Speaker
And I'm pretty sure I saw this very popular Instagrammer at the time. I think he had like 1 million followers or something. And I saw him wearing it. And very similar sandals too. And it was just white socks. I was like, oh, this kind of looks cool. And I feel like it's kind of like nice. I like white socks. I have to be honest, I like, like it could be 100 degrees outside.
00:26:09
Speaker
I still don't mind wearing long, like crew socks. I think that's what it's called. Long socks, honestly. Not super long that it comes all the way to your knees, but crew socks, honestly. I love them. I feel like they look so classic. They look nice. So I didn't think twice about it when I was wearing it, but I guess people did and they made sure to tell me. So that comment was maybe also useful. So thank you guys. I really appreciate it.
00:26:39
Speaker
i will probably do it again but thank you nonetheless okay so i think i'm coming towards the end of it but oh there's this one and there's a similar comment that i've gotten before too let me just pull it up uh
Gender Stereotypes and Self-Esteem in Ads
00:26:59
Speaker
because I think I, let me give you another context. So I posted another brand deal and this was on YouTube actually. And I was talking about this eczema cream and how it's great for dry skin, which is actually good. Like I have used it before and it's on Amazon, very affordable. But this person gets upset because I said, I think I mentioned that like, because I lift and I have these like, I forgot the, um,
00:27:26
Speaker
So right, not so right. There is something you get in here that you have like this cracked skin. I forgot what it's called. So anyways, yeah, I forgot what it's called. But you get this cracked skin and I was like, oh, I get these like rough skin and I just use this and it helps. And this person was like, so you get in like a quotation rough
00:27:51
Speaker
hands from lifting as in like i'm not lifting well and you wear gloves lol like lifting gloves and you use this cream to heal your hands dot dot dot whose sister is this so i essentially is telling me that like oh i'm not lifting properly i even wear like gym gloves like who does that like you are such a sissy essentially that's what he's trying to say
00:28:19
Speaker
And you know what? That's okay. I get it. Not everyone wears gloves at the gym. I feel like I also wouldn't wear it every single day or every time I'm going to the gym, to be honest. I only wear it when I need to. It really depends. I really, if I'm lifting, if I'm lifting, I mean like if I'm doing squats, if I'm doing deadlifts, stuff like that, I would wear it. On other occasions, maybe not.
00:28:46
Speaker
But also like I've learned to deal with my dry skin and cracked skin. But also I'm not, oh, I'm also not the kind of person be like, Oh my God, I'm lifting so much or whatever. Maybe I don't look like that and that's okay. But you don't have to come for me for that, right? But people do anyways because they have to make sure to tear your self esteem. I think that is something I struggle the most and that's why I'm going to conclude it in this episode is that
Impact of Negative Comments on Self-Image
00:29:17
Speaker
I think you could be the most confident person with your body, with yourself, but as soon as you get on social and people start commenting about your body, about how you sound like, or just about yourself overall, that's when it starts to get like, it goes to the dark place. It affects your mental health, it affects you as the overall person,
00:29:47
Speaker
I think if the comment is constructive, maybe you didn't do something right and that's okay, you know, if this is constructive feedback, but when it comments about like your body or like you're not doing something right or whatever or like you don't look good, that's just sometimes hard because it's making you think twice about yourself and it's making you not like yourself. I think many times that I thought
00:30:16
Speaker
that I looked good and I looked in the camera and I like I guess had my angles then I would go on TikTok or and like I would post videos and stuff like that then immediately getting comments like this and this is like just like very like not that bad comments but there are times that I have gotten comments about like oh like you don't look good you look bad or like your body looks different your body looks like different shape but like it's not fit or whatever
00:30:47
Speaker
It affects you, you know, like it definitely affects you. I feel like even at the moment you're like, I'm not going to take this personally. But I feel like then you think about it, then you start looking in the mirror, you start tearing yourself apart and thinking about looking at all of your flaws.
00:31:07
Speaker
although you didn't even see them at first, but people pointed out that you can see them. I feel like that's what hurts the most because I think anything constructed, anything outside of what you are saying about the person, that's okay. You can say that like, oh, people, if people tell me, oh, this content sucks, or I'm sorry, this feature doesn't look good.
00:31:28
Speaker
that's okay i get it yes maybe i could have done better maybe the picture is boring maybe this background is boring which i get i'm still working on it if you want to talk about this that's good but if you tell me oh your arms don't look good um your eyes like they're not symmetrical your nose is too big i don't know stuff like that that is just messed up
00:31:50
Speaker
i'm sorry that's so messed up like what do you want me to do about it i feel like that's the biggest reason my generation like younger generation we are struggling so hard to be comfortable in our own body because we are so mean to each other
00:32:05
Speaker
on social media and that's why there's like plastic surgery is so common lip fillers Botox and like people getting boob jobs like people doing all these kind of surgeries to look good because People are so mean to each other and like always talking shit about stuff like this
00:32:23
Speaker
and it honestly sucks like there's no way to sugarcoat this it's not a great environment to be at and that's why i wanted to even make this whole uh episode because i want to shine a light on that that it's not fair and it's not really okay to talk to people or mention to people anything about their body because
00:32:48
Speaker
it's their body like from Selena Gomez that I've just recently been seeing like people calling him calling her fat or whatever it's like it's not cool like really really not cool to talk about someone's weight or someone's body it's like everyone is struggling with their own demons and it's just so hard to cope with them sometimes when someone from the outside comments on that while you're still working on yourself
00:33:16
Speaker
Anyway, so that was the episode for today. I hope you guys liked this episode. If you do, please don't forget to rate us on Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. And I'll see you guys next week.