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Little Trouble In Big Absalom Part 3: The Tragic Murder of Madam Trunchsnuffle
25 Plays1 year ago
The funky little lizard dudes suffer a loss due to a minecart accident, before continuing their nonsensical escapades.
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Transcript
Introduction and Recap
00:00:00
Speaker
All right. Hello and welcome to episode three of Little Trouble in Big Absalom. um Last week, we, ah last week, two weeks ago, last session, we ah finished up chapter one of this, ah quote unquote, one shot. So ah would anybody like to ah do a little recap for us?
Porcelain Horse Attack and Breakfast Chaos
00:00:29
Speaker
let's see we uh put down a porcelain horse or well jacob put down a porcelain horse a tiny creepy doll thing i flew at us tried to murder us said something about a child it wanted to protect a child um Crocolaco made a Danish out of cement. Well, I was going to say that Crocolaco made a Danish out of cement and shoved it into Marvin's unconscious mouth. Yes. yeah Marvin canonically eats rocks now. Yeah. And it brought him back to life also canonically. That's a side effect of eating the Danish is that you're now addicted to eating cement. Mm hmm. But like real not normal cement won't do it. It has to be frog cement.
00:01:17
Speaker
It has to be. Oh, of course. brogs smith You just gave him methamphetamines. Yes. That is quite weird. That's actually what it was. It was really just, you know, cement colored methamphetamines. Yeah. Hey, who hasn't done a little meth every now and then, huh? Yeah. This guy, this guy knows his meth.
00:01:40
Speaker
All right. Yeah. So, uh, locked door. Yeah. ah Yeah, you found a locked door, and then, uh, your good friend, Miknik, came in and, uh, told you guys to take the rest of the day off and then reconvene when it's convenient, so... So does that mean that ah that we've, like, rested for the night? You have, in fact, rested for the night, hell and you're all level 2 now. So, we're gonna start off, um, the following morning.
Breakfast Intrusions and Investigation
00:02:09
Speaker
ah in the mess hall of this little encampment that we've got set up. So, bright and early, rising for breakfast. It's um actually just two of you here to start. Oh.
00:02:34
Speaker
Kelby and a Croc Luckle. You two are the only ones that are, uh, in the mess hall currently. Uh, you know, the night before, the four of you agreed, you know, being a group, to, uh, go to breakfast together. But, you know, there's just two empty seats, uh, by the table, which, I mean, I could say that this doesn't happen often, but I mean, this is the, this is the first night. No real way to gauge what's off or not. But, uh,
00:03:06
Speaker
Yeah, you guys are just, uh, chillin' out, eatin' some, uh, eatin' some brekkie. You havin' any, uh, particular discussions? Uh, ah important thing
00:03:20
Speaker
it seems that, um, Miknik himself, uh, threw together this food. I guess, uh, he's, you know, he he really cares for his employees. ah So you see him, you know, over, uh, behind, you know, the counter. It's like one of those, uh, like lunchrooms, you know, like in high school where like the lunch person is like behind the lunch counter. They like, you know, scoop some glop onto your tray and you bring it. Um, so he's back there with a hairnet, uh, still like smoking two cigars directly onto the food. Um, gotta give it that flavor. Yeah. Um, but, uh, he's actually serving you lobster bisque.
00:04:02
Speaker
So I guess food is the one thing he does not skimp out on. Okay, damn. Croc Lachlachl is squeezing ketchup onto the lobster bisque. You squeeze, all right. Yeah, you you get some nice tangy lobster bisque for some reason.
00:04:19
Speaker
After he's just squeezing the ketchup on, he's going to start squeezing the frog again. Like, first he shakes the frog up and down. And Kelby, you can hear just, like, horrible noises coming from the inside of the home or frog. And then Croclockle squeezes it. And out of out of the frog just streams this very thin yellow liquid.
00:04:47
Speaker
Oh. Oh. I don't like that. um And Croc Luckle just slurps down the whole bowl. Lovely. As you do that, Miknik is gonna stomp on over, you know, ripping his hair net off. He doesn't have any hair, mind you. ah But, you know, he's not one to violate Osha. Not with but not with a lawyer around. ah So he stomps on over. ah he ah He slaps you on the back, Croc Luckle.
00:05:17
Speaker
And he goes, You eat up, boys. The long day ahead of you. You did some mighty fine work yesterday. I also thought that I took all of the credit. Yep. Couldn't have done it without me. You're good to ah give me that credit. Now, I can't help but wonder, where's the rest of y'all's crew? I was under the impression all four of yous would be ah Getting ready for the day now.
00:05:54
Speaker
Croc Locker looks at the squeeze. I'm not sure. It's just gonna rip it. Well, that's a silver lining, I suppose. You sure you folks haven't seen them around at all?
00:06:18
Speaker
No, uh... No one lurking around after hours or doing anything suspicious.
00:06:28
Speaker
Darn blinks, huh? Uh, he's just gonna scratch his head, uh, you know, Ash, one of his cigars. Um... And he's going to, uh, you know, he's gonna contemplate what he just heard. And, uh... Wait, what is that? What's that noise? That's... Oh my god. Oh my god! Oh my god!
00:06:55
Speaker
what
00:07:01
Speaker
um Just keeps going I really keep thinking it's over but no What is going on ah the the mess hall goes silent
00:07:20
Speaker
And you see, uh, just, you know, cobalt for a moment, you know, they are silent, but then they start screaming like, ah, oh my God, what just happened? Uh, do you guys go investigate? Uh, he, Croc Luckle is going to see if he, if the bisque is left unguarded.
00:07:44
Speaker
Kelby too. The bisque is left unguarded. Yes. Croc Luckle takes the bisque.
00:07:53
Speaker
Great. You have this back down. you're You're not going to investigate the giant car crash and explosion. No, specifically because I saw you drag something into the actor's tab and I'm gonna fuck with you.
00:08:12
Speaker
what do you do his What are you talking about I didn't drag anything what oh That was me sorry So Yes, we will go investigate all right you guys you guys can only see the party right and now i can see i can also see uh another friend okay but that's it that's the thing we must have some sort of ownership over is yeah i say i say okay okay
00:08:51
Speaker
So, I'm sorry, did you say you guys... We investigate the car crash. Yeah, the massive car crash will happen. Alright, you go over and there's there's there's smoke billowing out of one of the tunnels. You see cobalt's gathered around. There's lights of what seems to be fire. And you see just a mess of minecarts collided together. And... and Uh, Mipnik, you know, he stomps on through, pushes you out of the way, and he says, What in the hells has happened here? Uh, pushing his way out of the crowd, there's a, a tiny pink cobalt.
Marvin's Death and New Ally
00:09:33
Speaker
Um, he looks very, very frightened. Uh, he starts doing a little, little anxious, and he's sort of bouncing on his feet. He goes, green guy, DUI.
00:09:46
Speaker
ah And you see in one of the carts um Sparky is Laying his Sort of folded over one of the minecarts he's But that's that's all you see ah you do you ah do you approach what do you what do you do?
00:10:14
Speaker
Oh, Sparky's dad runs over. He's just drinking lobster bisque out of the pot. Kelby dashes over. All right. As you get close, Sparky raises his head up. He's perfectly fine. Yeah. As you as you, you know, get towards him, he swatches your handling. He says, I love them out of enough. You bloody idiot.
00:10:42
Speaker
I don't- I don't- You're- You're- Is he missing an eye? Uh, no more than usual. Okay. Yeah, he's always missing an eye. Yeah, yeah. I'm- I'm- I'm telling ya, I'm- I'm fit to drive. you He's- He's gonna fall back asleep. But- Just right now I'm a little so slow.
00:11:11
Speaker
Kelby, as you get closer, yes you notice there's something else nearby. You see, lying on the ground, the burnt corpse of Marvin Shaxblood. Oh no.
00:11:31
Speaker
Oh.
00:11:34
Speaker
He is... His body is is is burned to a crisp. It's it's borderline unrecognizable. and And he's holding in his hand a little tiny paper slip. That's, you know, there's a little bit of sit on it, but otherwise it's pretty, um... What is it? Tell me immediately investigate. Well, you you take a little look at it.
00:12:03
Speaker
And i it is, in fact, a note addressed to you. Oh. um And essentially what it says is um part of the insurance payout is to be forwarded to an address within the nearby city.
00:12:30
Speaker
Ah, that's... That's interesting. And it it it gives you, you know, the specific address. um you You don't really know a whole lot about where you are, but you do know that. You know, wherever this this dungeon that you guys have been ah investigating is, it's within those city wall. OK, an absolute. Yes, yes, it is an absolute.
00:13:04
Speaker
Is there little trouble in this big city called Absalom? Oh, oh. Let me just... Croc-A-Lackel says this out loud. Okay, you don't take any damage.
00:13:30
Speaker
Oh, Marvin. Oh. I give Marvin's Bert corpse a kick. Is it still dead? ah I mean, some of the like some pieces of charred flesh come off like he's charcoal. I kick it again flesh. Oh, oh, my God. Yeah, fine. Take Marvin's blood.
00:13:56
Speaker
He puts it in the lobster bisque. Oh, my God.
00:14:06
Speaker
I'm gonna... He squeezes something new out of the frog. While this is happening, um Helby's gonna try and form something he saw. Another... Some people in the the sewage digging tunnels... cry ah He's gonna try and perform something called CTR, CMR. The... ACR? I don't remember. Helby doesn't remember. Yeah, go ahead.
00:14:34
Speaker
All right. I'm going to make a medicine check. Once he natural 2021, he comes back to what? No. I just roll a fucking natural 20 to do CPR on a burnt out corpse. You are still talking. You've really you've really wasted our luck on that one. I really did. You begin to do chest compressions and Well, the body doesn't completely crumble to dust, ah but you manage to avoid somehow getting any soot on your hand or the clothes, which, again, are completely pristine.
00:15:16
Speaker
Oh. Micnik is gonna take a look at this. He's gonna stay. Get away from there, boy. We gotta mourn. Oh, yo, take off your hands.
00:15:34
Speaker
We've lost a good soldier today.
00:15:40
Speaker
All right, that's enough of a moment of silence now. You guys are going to need a couple of replacements. Yeah, we ah we're all going down there before. Well, that one's drunk. Yeah, so you'll be fine without him. He'll be back in the morning, I'm sure. ah But this one needs someone new.
00:16:03
Speaker
What about, uh, you there, over there? It is going to point to a random cobalt in the crowd. Um, who happens to look like this. Benny, would you care to introduce yourself? It's not coming up. Is there an image? The image is not appearing.
00:16:25
Speaker
you can't you can't see that no no no no you didn't you didn't see that you didn't see the burnt corpse either no oh there was a burnt corpse image no i don't want to see it thank you i want to see it yeah Okay, I guess I will post those in chat ah And then hold on no cuz the audience isn't gonna see him no I was gonna say I'm gonna edit them into okay. Oh, oh wait there We go, so there's the corpse. I forgot I have to press the show players, but yeah What is this
00:17:08
Speaker
It's the burnt corpse of Marvin. I'm gonna throw up! That's beautiful. Oh, my kidneys. I like that this impacts your kidneys. Yes. What? That two picnic points to is, uh, this. yeah
00:17:31
Speaker
I need a middle of like a guitar set as like a spotlight. Is that the one and only MMOs? Did you say that in character? Yes. ah i' gonna go and Who the hell is MMA? This is the one and only Benny Jettson. Wow. It's actually the real Jettson.
00:17:59
Speaker
again Like real fake one. Has there been fake Jetsons? That's in character, by the way. I mean, I saw plenty of fake ones. Yes. Well, ah I'm real. Benny Jetson, a local magician. Pleasure to meet you. He nods at you both in turn.
00:18:31
Speaker
Guacalacal approaches. Is going to try to grab some of your hair. Oh, oh no. I make a check for that, I guess. What should I make for this, Colby?
00:18:55
Speaker
a Make. Thievery.
00:19:03
Speaker
Either a thievery or an athletics check. We'll go with thievery. And that's against what, my reflex DC? Yes. That is going to be a 19. You steal some of my hair. ah yeah good You pluck a couple locks.
00:19:25
Speaker
Croc Lachl is going to like separate them into three little bundles. He's going to eat one of them.
00:19:34
Speaker
He's going to put the other in his, he's going to feed the other to the frog. And then the final one he's going to put in the lobster bisque before finishing off. Oh my God. No. What does my hair? Does he eat everyone's hair or scales?
00:20:01
Speaker
I mean, most people don't have hair, so I just felt like I'm a little to trial. Yeah, is your hair, are you wearing a wig or is that real hair? Oh, it's a wig.
00:20:15
Speaker
Tossed like nylon. I mean, I'll say he just eats everything. So it's expected this boy, he fed actually somebody. Actually, yeah, he fed someone concrete though, you know.
00:20:31
Speaker
Please don't feed me concrete. Crocolacle starts drooling as the eyes of your guitar strings. No.
00:20:41
Speaker
He can take anything you like, but not the guitar. You're going to have to watch those strings. Is Benny actually like holding the guitar? Yes. Like clung to his chest now that he knows that Crocolacle wants to eat it.
00:20:59
Speaker
I will. Is that like a like a utensil or something in your hands? It's an instrument. Okay. Those like, like, are to you, right?
00:21:17
Speaker
Benny's gonna cock his head. Oh, honey, you're pretty, but you ain't too bright, are you? I mean, I don't glow, though I would say I'm, you know, bright.
Comical Debates and Looting
00:21:32
Speaker
He's gonna release one hand from the neck of the guitar, reach over and patch your cheek gently, and then just turn back to the rest of the people. What the fuck is this party? As you're as you're doing that, Croc Lachl is going to um squeeze ketchup out of the neck of the guitar.
00:21:57
Speaker
The two of you, I cannot tell which of you is bone-headed and which of you is meat-headed.
00:22:04
Speaker
um I don't think there's any meat in my heart. I think it's just organs. I actually think there is meat. and Oh, is there? Yeah, if you break them open, there's a lot of meat. Well, no, that's a brawn. I don't know if that can if that's considered molt. I mean, it's... Hellscrulls!
00:22:27
Speaker
Is the brain considered molt? Hold on, I was going to tell you a sec answering this. I'm Googling if the brain is considered meat. I knew you were going to Google if the brain was considered meat. I meet can't be honest. I'm in an ethnic group where you can eat this stuff. So I feel like, you know, brain as food. I mean, like people eat organ meat. It's just a By the way, eat tribe fucking delicious. Good for you. i I will not eat tripe, but thank you. I'm also British. Yeah. I love how the first result is brain as food on Wikipedia. And the second is, am I just a brain made of meat in quorum?
00:23:11
Speaker
I mean, here's the thing. And then the third one is in defense of eating brains. Did a zombie write this? Okay, well, you don't really want to eat brains because that's how you get to cry on disease. Ah, I think here's our answer. Before the mid 20th century, Americans treated the brain like any other cut of meat. I think we knew this. Haven't we all seen Indiana Jones? They eat monkey brain. Well, that doesn't mean it's meat.
00:23:37
Speaker
What is the definition of meat? Hey, who doesn't like some good brain every now and then? How's Skrulls? Where does the definition of molt? I like that the Squeeze has turned into an Amazon Alexa.
00:23:51
Speaker
Okay, Squeeze. fri british is that british Is that British food? No, it's Missourian. Wow, I need to ask my dad if he's ever had that. That's close to words. The flesh of an animal, especially a mammal, has food. That is the definition of meat. Okay, so brain is meat.
00:24:09
Speaker
yeah Well, is is brain considered flesh? Okay, what is flesh then? House screws! What is the definition of flesh? By the way- Any of our remaining listeners are just gonna- The soft substance consisting of muscle and fat that is found between the skin and bones of an animal or a human. This is live from the dice asylum now. So it's gotta be muscle and fat. And the brain is not muscle and fat. I think the brain is the majority fat. Is it? I think my thing is that it's not between the skin and the bone, it's between two plates of bone.
00:24:50
Speaker
It's a brain sandwich! Oh, God. We are all Missouri! I'm in Missouri. Anyways. I'm sorry. Colby, please continue.
00:25:07
Speaker
So, Micnik is going to pinch the bridge of his nose and say, all right, all right, that's enough fun. I don't need some fancy frog to tell me what I can and cannot eat.
00:25:20
Speaker
Uh, he's gonna- then he's gonna take a big bite of a brain sandwich. Uh... Woah. Of Marvin's brain sandwich? No, just a br- You don't know where he got it from. It looks- it looks fresh. But like- By the way, a quick question just as in character-wise. He's just been taking food out of like, just pockets and stuff, right? Yeah. Oh my god. Okay. He- he uh- his pockets are filled... with meat. Like, visibly?
00:25:48
Speaker
not visibly um but like just so you know he's like he's a nugget pocket he's got a uh he's got a brisket pocket um you know you know how like there's like the the stereotypical like evil arms dealer uh will have like the the lining of their jacket will have like knives hanging from it he's actually got ribs and sausages hanging from the inside of his jacket what you're buying stranger nothing cuz he ain't selling now after he takes a bite he's going to say all right all right you all I've had enough of this get to work already we only got a couple hours to be here get
00:26:44
Speaker
And he, uh, shoes you all towards the entrance, uh, to the basement. Can I, can I prefer we go anywhere? Can I sell some of the shit that we found? but Because I don't want to kill you at all so that I can pick up new shit. Alright, fine, fine. Go over to the treasury. Sell your stuff. Whoa. Okay, I'm good.
00:27:09
Speaker
You're also going to try and loot Marvin's corpse for any of his goods to sell. Oh, yeah. Yeah, ah his pockets don't have like everything in them. Just you could probably just sell it all.
00:27:30
Speaker
Anything else in the corpse?
00:27:35
Speaker
uh let's see he's got the bedroll and fishing tackle uh the or name sorry i'm sorry i should have specified inside the corpse what no no it yeah it's it's it's it's just it's just charred skin and ash i i thought like wants to try to eat the corset knife I thought you so were gonna say he wants try to try and eat the corpse i know i got seen already part of the corpse that that is true all right rock bale he's at his corpse quota because you're trying to do that I'm giving you everything okay I'm fine with this
00:28:15
Speaker
There you go. All right. I will sift through and sell the things that croc local does not want. Emma, is that all right with you? Let's. Yeah, that's fine. OK. All right. So with everything sold, I'm assuming. Yes. ah You are.
00:28:33
Speaker
ah Shoot out of the room and into the basement.
Strange Discoveries in the House
00:28:40
Speaker
In the basement again.
00:28:44
Speaker
So, as you enter the basement, you ah notice that it's a lot more brightly lit up than it was before. Those bugs in in in in the corner just vanished.
00:29:00
Speaker
Looks like there's been some ah some cleanup. And it looks like some cool balls are still cleaning some stuff up. You know, they they scurry out. The place isn't looking too bad. It's still, like, foggy. But otherwise, it's just fine.
00:29:14
Speaker
Um, and you go over and it looks like the door has been successfully picked, uh, the one that was locked before. In fact, uh, it's been so successfully picked, uh, that the door is off its hinges, lying on the ground, uh, covered in bite marks and what appears to be peanut butter. it I have questions about the peanut butter, bud.
00:29:42
Speaker
So. You see this door in front of you. What would you like to do? All right. Yeah, you open the door. On the other side, you see stairs, stairs, no, no. Roll initiative now.
00:30:10
Speaker
um We have to fight the stairs. 28, holy shit. ah you You get up the stairs just fine. Like you're you're going, you're not you're not just going double steps, you're going triple steps. Croclockels slowly crawling backwards.
00:30:30
Speaker
oh Down the stairs? Up the stairs. Okay.
00:30:38
Speaker
I'm super suspicious, I know, but I just have to do it. Oh, of course, of course. Benny is just going to slowly walk up the stairs. Keeping a side eye on a crock-a-lockle.
00:30:58
Speaker
Well, off you go. Crock-a-lockle races up the stairs backwards. This is something I would imagine is a terrifying sight. Yeah, I don't I don't want to picture it because I don't think I'll ever recover. You run up the stairs and what's up the The feeder of the mind because upstairs and you see a disgustingly cute living room.
00:31:27
Speaker
uh this is a really nice decor it's it's very well kept um you know there's lots of like little fluffy sheep dolls like uh a bunch of like crocheted doilies the furniture is is nice and soft and well what was the word just said that's called doily doily it's like one of those little like um round it's i i don't even know what a doily is It's it's like it's like an old person. It's like lace. ah Yeah. It's like an elderly person's coaster coaster coaster. That's it. And the place just it it looks just very nice and cute. You think, you know, you could probably stay here a while and oh, oh,
00:32:16
Speaker
Do you smell that? What? Is that... Oh wait, is that cinnamon? Ooh. Ooh, a hint of nutmeg too. Smells like, hmm. Someone's been baking cookies. And as you as you creep around this strange new space, you see, ah you know, crouched over an oven. um And then, you know, pulling a pie up out of it.
Granny's Request and Neighborhood Exploration
00:32:46
Speaker
She turns and you see this look. I do not see... Oh, there she is. I'm going to clamp a hand over Croc-a-lockle's mouth.
00:33:03
Speaker
She makes eye contact with Croc-a-lockle and she says,
00:33:09
Speaker
Well, hello there! Have you come to pick around your visit on her birthday? Oh, it does get lonely here with all my kids moved out. She, uh, retrieves a large cookie jar from... Continue? Yes. She retrieves a large cookie jar ah from the counter, pulls it open, and reveals Oh, the source of the smell. It's, oh, cinnamon cookies. Mm. And she says, no, don't be shy or I'll have to eat them all myself. Eat myself sick. Ah ha ha ha.
00:33:51
Speaker
All herself? No, no, no, no, no, no. Not eat myself. No. Oh, that's what my husband did. Yes. That's why he's not here with me. Oh, he baked himself into a pie. Oh, it was quite tragic. But no, no, no, no, no. I mean, eat myself sick.
00:34:07
Speaker
Oh, I can't have too many cookies. I baked them for for the grandchildren that I hope will return someday. How long has it been since your grandchildren came? Oh, a couple hundred thousand years, I'm sure. They left this morning. Oh.
00:34:29
Speaker
Croc Lachl is going to gingerly take a cookie with his goopy skeleton hand. Oh, there you go, my dear boy. Now be careful not to get any goop on your cookies. No, we need to be nice for the other kids now.
00:34:45
Speaker
Croc Luckle is going to lick the cookie. His eyes go wide. In a good or a bad way? Croc Luckle slowly turns around to face both of you. Oh, no.
00:35:05
Speaker
Uh oh. I don't know what those cockles. Those are really good, but then they're missing something. Oh no. What are they missing? He takes the squeeze. Of course he does, of course. Not the ketchup. Eddie squeezes onto the cookies.
00:35:29
Speaker
A deep blue liquid.
00:35:37
Speaker
I'm sorry, what? Before eating it. Like, whole, no chewing, just straight down the hatch. Be careful with that drain cleaner, Diddy. Oh, it's terribly bad for the stomach. My husband. He's going to squint her eyes at you. OK. Oh, it's.
00:36:04
Speaker
It's both stock concentrate that I dyed blur. Oh. Oh, yes, my husband did so. I love dipping cookies in beef stock concentrate.
00:36:20
Speaker
Oh, gosh, help me. Can I do it like? Oh, yes, just help yourself, my dear boy. She's going to shove the the jar of cookies in your face. I will take a cookie.
00:36:35
Speaker
Can I do an insight check on this weird old woman? Uh, yes.
00:36:46
Speaker
Uh, let me... Oh gosh, I forgot. Is insight like an actual thing? Perception. It's just perception. It's sense motive, which is perception. Ah, gotcha. And you get to roll it, right? Yes, GM rolls it. Yeah, this is now your force to roll instead of us.
00:37:04
Speaker
OK, uh, you can tell that she has no ulterior motives. She's being 100 percent sincere with everything she says, even the contradictory stuff, even the shit that makes no sense. A hundred percent sincere. She believes it. Oh, that's nice.
00:37:29
Speaker
Thank you, ma'am. I'm gonna pretend to eat a cookie. Oh, yes, do eat up. Do eat up. Yes, and yes, yes, indeed. Now, what you kids like to do Granny a favor? I'll give you all some shiny coins if you do. And she, uh, she gives a a kind little smile. but Now, like a little birdie told me that Granny can't talk so well since she got her dentures replaced.
00:38:02
Speaker
A little birdie told me that my neighbor Jaren is out of the Grand Bazaar today and won't be back until tonight. Now, I want you little birdies to go into his garden two houses down and get my heads trimmer back for me, will you? I linked it to him six months ago and he still hasn't given it back the bastard. The nerve of that man. As if he hasn't got a whole shed full of his own magical tools to use. Just be sure to watch out for the lawn crawfish steers. Oh, I heard they've gotten a bit push-negative. Yes, they're awful this time of year.
00:38:35
Speaker
This is almost complete and total sense. Let's do it, my boy.
00:38:42
Speaker
Is this a human woman? Yeah, yeah, she she she is in fact a human. Uh-huh. OK.
00:38:59
Speaker
Oh, you want to do it? Croc Wockle has something he wants to do. He wants to take a cookie. And he wants to try to take some more of Benny's hair.
00:39:15
Speaker
Jesus. Can we say that I have an extra wig in my bag that I just hand him? You do. oh You do. Oh, fuck. that He takes five more cookies, puts them all in the wig, covers them in in, well, he starts covering them in the blue beef stock, but like partway through, the squeeze sputters and the liquid starts coming out white. Oh no. And there's a distinct new ah aroma to it once it starts turning white. And Croc Luckle just eats it all at once.
00:40:00
Speaker
Watching you do this. Once again, no chewing. Watching you do this. Granny, you know, with one hand still holding the pie. She's going to pot a lock of her own hair, place it on the pie, and then she's going to swipe the squeeze from your hand.
00:40:22
Speaker
And squeeze onto the pie.
00:40:26
Speaker
Oh no. And then gently hand the squeeze back. What comes out of the squeeze?
00:40:34
Speaker
Whatever you just poured. Or actually, actually, I'm not sure how the mechanics of the squeeze work. So tell me, uh, is that something that you decide or the squeeze decide? The squeeze has no mechanics. It's an alchemist tools, right? That is something that this, the squeeze, the squeeze is deeply connected, you know, deeply connected to Croc Lachl. Um, and, uh,
00:41:05
Speaker
their Their brains are linked, you know, through through an ancient bond that is beyond all reckoning. Stop making this sound beautiful. Shut up. And they they are they are truly meant for each other. Actually, Crocolaco, upon getting the squeeze back, does give him a big sloppy kiss on the lips.
00:41:27
Speaker
With tongue. um Oh.
00:41:32
Speaker
Then he's gonna see this, and then he's gonna start scribbling frantic notes.
00:41:42
Speaker
So, so, ah yes, whatever. Rock-a-rockle just squeezed out of the frog. The white stuff is now on the pie. Oh my gosh. All right, she's gonna go ahead and turn that down.
00:41:57
Speaker
Now it's time for the party to settle, yes? Oh, I can't wait to try this new concoction you've introduced me to. Now, have you any questions about your mission for today, or would you look just like to go out into the streets? I mean, it sounds easy enough to do what you told us to do, the fig. Well, imagine we're fighting something.
00:42:21
Speaker
Yes, lawn crawfish, you know crawfish that live in your lawn Oh me and my brothers will always try to catch them with bits of bacon on a string. Yes, we would hey do you walk bacon a those string yeah cropac will' know anything about lan I Would I roll recall knowledge for you, correct?
00:42:49
Speaker
Sure. I mean, I'm asking you, is that something... I mean, rules is written? Yes. Okay. The way I always do it? No. Okay, okay. So it's up to you.
00:43:03
Speaker
I mean, I guess... I'm gonna have you make a recall knowledge check ah with nature. Nature, okay. And I'm gonna... You're not good at nature. Oh, you're the one who rules it. Alright, it's a plus zero.
00:43:20
Speaker
Oh, whoops, I rolled for Sparky. Oh, well, it's... Uh, okay. Uh... You know that crawfish live in water?
00:43:33
Speaker
Sir, they're such... that live in... the water. From the water? Oh! No, no, no, no, no. The crawfish here live in the grass. Yeah, so you must be from the north, aren't you?
00:43:49
Speaker
Um, I'm from underground. Oh, yes. is Yes. Yes. Yes. Underground. That's that one city near that other city up in the north. Right. Yes. Yes. I think I've been there before. All right.
00:44:12
Speaker
Let's go. All right. I have a question. um What's your question? and in character Does Kelby know what bacon on a stick is? I would imagine he does. Okay. and need to roll like a recall na i Knowing Kelby, I would say he knows what bacon is. Okay, got it. It's got protein, man. Of course, Kelby knows. But does he know what a stick is? Yeah. Oh, that's a fair question. That's the real question. He's underground, right?
00:44:42
Speaker
I mean there's wood on your ground. He's not gonna question it. He's gonna go with it. He's gonna be confused. Yeah, stick him in a stone. That breaks your bones. Anyways. That was real beautiful, ma'am. Thank you. Thank you. So. Can you guys head out? Yes. I guess so. Alright. Um. Oh. Me too, honestly. You folks. Walk on out. And in.
00:45:12
Speaker
to the city. Now, ah you see just this great big just bustling city. ah The bazaar actually isn't too far away. um But ignoring that,
00:45:29
Speaker
um You see just this, you know, sprawling neighborhood. Now, Granny said that, um you know, Jaren's house is just two houses west where she is. um And Kelby, ah recalling the note that no but you read earlier, um you think that... um Why...
00:45:54
Speaker
Marvin's well the house that not Marvin put in that note is actually just a little farther along that path So just a little food for thought but you guys deserve So so we're writing in a note had like an address, right? Yes. Yeah Yeah, so we could visit the address in theory. In theory, in theory. um But, you know, look at the street signs um doing some triangulation. ah Triangulation. The stars aligning in Kelby's mind. ah You know, the DVD logo hitting the corner of his screen. You know, you'd say it's about three or four houses to the west. OK. And the place you're going is to the west.
00:46:42
Speaker
Okay, so let's go to the place we're going first and then we can go to the other place Okay, crock-lock let's fixated on this guy Yes, it's a beautiful beautiful day out in the skies blue Birds are singing and sharing directly in the Sun but Oh Don't do that. Oh, I'm gonna push pushes snout down. Oh Um, but, but my job. Any points of the sun. Nope. You've thought everything we've seen is your father and I can guarantee you the sun is not. Croc Luckle Cox's head. Uh, Croc Luckle, make a will save for me. you Oh no. Uh, that's a 10. Uh, okay. You're not days. but da Oh, poor thing.
00:47:41
Speaker
Your eyes are overstimulated and your vision is swimming. ah you you you You can just barely see like vague silhouettes of people right now. Her little shit. I understand, my father. I know what I must do. Now, I should also note, um you don't see many other kobolds in this city. um In fact, you don't see any other kobolds at all. It appears that um where you are is uh full of other humanoids big tall humanoids no cobalt um i would even wager that um they are they are and yeah so so are these yes yes are these like are these people giving us any weird looks as we're walking by
00:48:38
Speaker
um every so often you know uh a person might make a sort of like confused or like disgusted look looking at you you can't tell if it's because you're cobalt or because of your uh just the the sheer muscle mass contained within your scales like um a circus i'm a fucking circus but um
00:49:04
Speaker
You know, from, uh, from what you can claim, you know, maybe faults aren't, uh, maybe they're not the norm here. critical Here's thing. Okay. Oh, so the line fell. Sure thing.
00:49:25
Speaker
Alright. Yeah, I guess we're going. So. You guys go west. ah Passing by, you know, other houses, other people passing in the street. They're like, oh, oh, what the? What is that? um You guys have heads held high. You know, you look, ah you know, one of the people might actually recognize um Uh, our good friend Benny over here. It appears that your songs may have, you know, left the underground. Uh, gotten a little bit further than you thought. But, um, eventually you make it, uh, to Jaren's house. What you assume to be Jaren's house. And once there, you're met with this. A big wall.
00:50:19
Speaker
Oh shit. it's How tall is this wall compared to us? Oh, you know, it's just, um, probably, uh, nine feet. Oh shit. That's huge. Yeah. we sta with three of us how tall Sorry. What was that? Marvin? Not Marvin. God, Benny. Oh, uh, if we stack all three of us, how, how tall are we? Uh,
00:50:48
Speaker
I would assume nine feet. Croc Luckle is three foot. Yeah, I'm going to assume you're all roughly three or so feet tall. I don't think you guys gave me very many. ah Yeah, I'm not seeing height information for most of you.
00:51:12
Speaker
If we get the big guy on top of the wall, he can pull us up.
00:51:18
Speaker
Hypothetically, you could. I should note um that you know though this wall is covered in ah you know pretty magenta flowers, um it's also covered in a giant three-inch long thorns. It's covered in what? Thorns. Spines.
00:51:43
Speaker
This will hurt if you try to do that. I'm just going to let you know right now. I think. OK, so never mind. I do want to lift a big guy up. I think actually what I believe we could possibly do is I could like throw you over the wall. I. Do you trust him enough to throw us? I turned a crackle level. Fuck no. What he said.
00:52:10
Speaker
Let's see, does it look like there's stone here, or is it entirely plant? It's entirely plant. You could, you know, hypothetically, you know, go around the corner, you peek, and it it seems that there's really no entrance. um it's It's all vine wall.
00:52:29
Speaker
Okay. Battle, does it have anything but is a flower mine in nature? I don't really know what you do. And I don't want to lose up all of this bad boy's power for the does. Smacks the squeeze on the ass. Unfortunately, I don't think I have anything that does flame.
00:53:09
Speaker
Hmm. I mean, I have split and and and steal if that will work. Our shots heard a while. That might help. We should totally do that. I'd like a torch.
00:53:27
Speaker
A torch or do I have a torch? All right. ah Yeah, you. You let it work. I'm gathering from the conversation is we want to just burn away into the place. ah ah Also lights a torch with flint and seal. All right. Tosses it at the wall. Okay. Um, Croc Lachl. Um, why don't you make me a
00:54:10
Speaker
rolling a strike as if ah you were throwing alchemist fire i'm not sure what that could i instead model a strike with the torch because i have alchemist fire in my inventory right now yeah i roll a strike with the torch okay it's definitely much worse but uh that's an eight an eight um and unless we want that to be my flat check for dazzled ah Oh, no, your DAZ is gone. That was okay. Then in that case, yes, that's an eight to hit. ah That... Go ahead and roll damage. Okay. It's a wall. It's got an AC of like two.
00:55:05
Speaker
Okay, that is if I'm rolling damage for the torch then that is Going to be two bludgeoning one fire Okay, um You see maybe a couple of ah
00:55:29
Speaker
Yeah, a couple of, ah you know, spines get a little burnt, but really nothing nothing much happened.
00:55:40
Speaker
And then Kelby, were you trying the same thing? Yes, I just a straight up attack of a torch. OK, OK. Oh, I got to equip that first. I'm sorry. Yes. Wow, I really am losing cohesion. It's all good. Happens to the best of us. Yes, I'll strike it.
00:56:00
Speaker
OK. Twenty one ahead. All right. Why don't you?
00:56:12
Speaker
Don't make your old damage. Am I rolling damage for the hell of it? Let's let's say. How much damage does that thing do normally? One d four plus strength plus one fire. Why don't you roll critical damage? Just the hell of it. All right. Oh, Lord. All right.
00:56:31
Speaker
14 points of damage. All right. um It gets a little, little damaged. You know, you see some things disappear and by disappear, I mean, like, you know, a couple like leaves and thorns get a little flattened, a little more burns away. But, um yeah, not much else happens. Dammit.
00:57:00
Speaker
How tall are the buildings next to us? Uh, I'd say roughly 12 feet. Oh, as I have an outlook. Oh, what is your idea? OK. We're going to get on top of the building. And I'm going to jump over the wall. Working on that part, I have rope.
00:57:30
Speaker
Um, does I don't want to have a grappling hook?
00:57:39
Speaker
I assume everyone slowly looks to the grappling hook that's hooked on Kelby's belt. I mean, oh, what's the grappling hook look like? Like that on your belt. um I'm going to take it off his belt.
00:57:58
Speaker
I'll let him do that.
00:58:05
Speaker
Arqal, Arqal, Arqal. Gracklakla is going to i take the rope and tie it, tie one one of the 50 foot lengths of rope to the grappling hook.
00:58:29
Speaker
Okay. ah what' you You do that. Oh, no. All right, big fella. You're up. Or not, because you know, just left. Kelby just stares at you silently. um It looks like the light left his eyes for a moment.
00:58:53
Speaker
Crosswalk is going to squeeze ketchup onto his head. They get into his eyes.
00:59:00
Speaker
Does he blink? No. All the shuttles rule it out. All right, how we're gonna throw things, he turns to to Benny.
00:59:13
Speaker
Oh. Oh, he's back. Oh, I'm back, sorry. There's a guy at my door trying to sell solar power. And I was like, I'm gonna roast you if you stay in front of my door too long. Kelby, ah there's ketchup in your eyes.
00:59:29
Speaker
Oh, he's alive! I stop from my momentary great empty meditation.
00:59:37
Speaker
Claro, throw this as hard as you can at the roof. And the moment you just throw this as hard as you can, Kelby takes it, is that to throw it the opposite direction? No, no, no, no, no, there! Oh, oh, okay, okay. And he goes and hugs that thing towards the roof. Okay.
01:00:00
Speaker
That would actually just be a simple attack roll. So just attack. Attack with your javelin. It's the same thing. Okay. 17.
01:00:14
Speaker
17. It goes on up. It it almost latches on something and then it just it falls right down. Do it again. Do it again. do it again.
01:00:32
Speaker
Can I get? Yeah, go right ahead. You can you can just keep on doing it. Eighteen. Come on. You go up and it comes back down. Ah, it appears that it recently rained. And we're going to have a lure.
01:00:51
Speaker
I looked from the frog to crocodile to the frog. Also, the frog doesn't want to make glue right now because I don't have it in my inventory. And this feels like a mechanical thing. So I'm not going to shoot at this metaphorical game we're playing for a bunch of big folk tossing math rocks. I'm standing at computer screens for a moment. buckle You think that you see grids all over the world. Oh, shit.
01:01:27
Speaker
It's like that one scene in Max Payne where he looks up and sees the HUD. Yep. Crockwockles just looking around, seeing the foundry UI. The wall is made out of the walls made of like, it's completely natural, right? It's not made out of any. Any like brick or stone or steel. No, it's your pure, pure plant. Is it like what kind of plants like thick bark or?
01:01:55
Speaker
uh just flowers you know hedge uh and just you know lots of thorns but you know you think looking at it you could you know probably try to climb it get a good grip climb it yeah You know it looks fine at all. Can I see through, can I see, can Kelby like see through it? Like see the other side through like little gaps? Are you trying to investigate it? Yeah, basically see how how far I could like in theory if push came to shove and punch came to blow. Okay. He like start ripping his way through. You can't see through it.
01:02:35
Speaker
um ah you you You know, you think you can maybe... It'll be hard, hypothetically, but you could, um you know, do it. You know, try to punch through, rip through, hypothetically. Would not be easy. But it's another thing you noticed as you're investigating. um You hear very faintly the sound of something sniffing. um And almost like a very soft thudding.
01:03:06
Speaker
this In a regular thudding, but a thudding nonetheless. What do you do? On the other side, a regular thudding? Yeah.
01:03:34
Speaker
Just now you hear something I Mean I feel like ah we could just climb our way up top for that work Our club it like that's all prickly Fine. Do we want to go on the roof? I mean I will say our kind of throw no I I don't know. I'm not sure. Throw him out the roof. All right. Not the wall, the roof. Shelby grabs him and right before he throws it. Let me take the grappling hook. Yeah, he takes it. Right before he throws it out the wall, he's like, oh, the roof. And he just chucks him out the roof. OK. I need you to make a either an acrobatics check, an athletics check, either athletics, acrobatics, or an unarmed strike.
01:04:26
Speaker
Can I make a... Can I make a religion check instead? Why religion? That's an A.T. for athletics. Okay, yeah, you, um... You toss him. And for a while, crock-lock-lock-lock. For a while, but also just a moment. Time seems to slow. And you are soaring gracefully through the sky. yeah Laris, this feels like that one time I met Jean-Tique Le Marimo.
01:04:58
Speaker
Peter! Sorry, I had to do it. And as you're having that thought, um you ah you crash against the surface of the roof and hit your head. oh oh But you're there. I'm on the roof, guys.
01:05:20
Speaker
I might have a concussion, but I'm on the roof. You're fine.
01:05:27
Speaker
Okay, I agree with that. I am fine. Double sack. Crocodile is going to try to find somewhere. You had a sack. Where are you doing?
01:05:38
Speaker
I'm trying to plant the grappling hook. But you had you you had a second. I'm just curious. Okay. Give me a A non-defined amount of seconds. How many fingers do the cobalt have?
01:05:56
Speaker
uh better question how many fingers does kelby have i don't know i don't know i don't how many fingers does normal coolball have minus two uh let's say i don't know you have a whopping uh three fingers on each hand three fingers after six seconds hey i mean it's been a couple of seconds Has Croc Luckle found a place to stick the grab like hook that will be stable? Yes, yes he has. ah You know, you see some shingles that are like sort of, ah you know, busted. um You go ahead and shove the hook right in there haphazardly. um yeah else it so self It seems enough. RL, battle, battle, you climb up first. You look much less havel. Okay.
01:06:49
Speaker
Um, I'm going to put my guitar strap over on my back and begin trying to climb. All right. Uh, that's going to be acrobatics or athletics. Now let's see which one looks better. Athletics. That's a 24. Oh, you gracefully just like, who like army climb your way up there.
01:07:15
Speaker
You're on the roof. Excellent. All right, low turn book fella. All right. Kelvie's going to chalk his hands and crank climb. All right. Croc Lachl wants to prepare to aid by holding the rope. Go right ahead. OK. So that's going to be athletics in the book view. All right.
01:07:40
Speaker
Croc Lachl gets 14 to aid. I get an 11. Um, even doing so, I have a call. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do I have this bullshit?
01:07:57
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. I've chosen the feet that helps. Damn it. No, I do not. Okay. All right. Um, Kelby, you, uh, you can't quite do it. oh You, you start, you get up a little ways, uh, but then Croc Lachl, your foot slips and, uh, you, uh, you managed to regain your balance, but Kelby, you, you, you fall back down to the ground. Oh,
01:08:25
Speaker
hold on. Uh, uh, Donald, what's the fucking polar map? Yeah, oh I will. I will. No, not yet. Oh, I'm sure a man wants to figure this out himself. Tell me grabs the rope, you know, and he rages. You're he called me. I heard that. Oh, God, he's raging, raging. Can you rage out of combat? I don't think so. Is rage a stance?
01:08:52
Speaker
It's not. Wait, hold on. You tap into your inner fury beacon, great. You have another temporary hit points. Level to your level plus constant should modifier. This frenzy last... Oh, I need an enemy I have to perceive. Can I perceive the rope as an enemy?
01:09:08
Speaker
I'm going to say damn it. Kelly tries his best to get angry, but his soft heart, he sees nothing to be angry about. It's less of a mechanical rage and more just metaphorical philosophical. Yeah. Tell me she has a more of a transcendental moment where he's really kind of doing some soul searching and discussing, you know, the anger inside him, where the origins are coming from. Yes. Do you climb the rope again?
01:09:37
Speaker
Uh, yeah. Yes, I do. All right. And do either of you aid him? Yes. Yeah. All right. All of you roll athletic. If he pulls us all off this damn roof, I swear to God. Nineteen. Twenty three. Ten. Twenty three, nineteen. Twenty three, nineteen. All right. um Yeah, ah Benny, you're you're there. But Croc Luckle, you're really putting in the work. You're pulling that rope up.
01:10:07
Speaker
uh you're you're getting glistening your your scales are shiny and sweaty uh and kelby you uh you pull yourself up you know the meme of like the two like really muscular guys like grabbing each other's hands yeah that's exactly what we see here you mean for a predator auto from arnold for saniger Yes. Source and Hagen, sorry. I was going to I was going to start poking fun at you for that again. Beni, Beni seeing this just kind of swoons a little bit and then realizes it's Croc-a-lock-al and goes, oh. ands You notice that it's actually Croc-a-lock-al's goopy skeleton hand. ah ah
01:10:47
Speaker
Beni has been shaken by this and will never recover. Is this the seed from like the end of Blade Runner where he grabs his hand? No, this is the scene from the beginning of Predator. You're already up. We're proud of our achievement. Yeah, but you're up there. Oh, God. You're getting oiled up by Croclockus' goop. Oh. Oh. That was one of the worst things I think I've ever said. Yeah. And you say a lot of not good things sometimes. I really enjoyed not being a GM for a little bit.
01:11:24
Speaker
Now I will say with all of you up here um I'm just gonna do some rolls real We would also like to retrieve the rope yes go ahead and retrieve the row All right all of you notice um Just past the wall, a large blob, a large hairy blob, sort of like sniffing around the wall ah where you guys were. You can't tell what it is exactly, but there's there's ah there's a big something there. Just sort of lazing about. Ma?
01:12:09
Speaker
Leonard? That's a Big Bang Theory reference. Our little shop, that's a Big Bang Theory reference and I actually got it because my parents were watching Big Bang Theory. My parents watch it too! I don't understand it. They've already seen the whole show. Why are they watching it again? It's not funny. And they watched Young Sheldon. Oh god, why? I've heard Young Sheldon is actually good though, but I digress. What do you guys do now? Okay, where are we trying to get? Over this wall? Over the wall, right? Yep. What is the jump here?
01:12:44
Speaker
ah It's about five feet. Okay. Can we see over the wall? Just barely. um You can see sort of a lot of grass in there. A lot of plants. You can't see exactly whatever is close to the wall.
01:13:01
Speaker
um But it'll definitely be easier to get a look once you're in there. There appears to be a lot of walls inside of this. ah inside of this garden. Okay, I haven't. Oh, Lord, what's the idea? Rock Lachlan is going to find another good solid spot to wedge the grappling hook. And he's going to wedge it into the roof. So either of you have another grappling hook by chance?
01:13:42
Speaker
No. OK, what about like? Is it about like a big old rock?
01:13:53
Speaker
OK, how about I break off a piece of this plank right here? You could just take a shingle. Oh, that this works. This big plank right here. Yeah. um Why don't you roll me athletic? Oh, boy.
01:14:15
Speaker
That is a 10. Uh, your back hurts a little bit. You can't get it up. Uh, you think maybe, you know, if you try it again, try it a little harder. Uh, you know, put some effort into it. Um, uh, if you weren't such a disappointment, maybe you could get it. Ah, shit. Ow. Wow. My little nose in my head. Uh, we're just gonna go with the sh- shingle.
01:14:41
Speaker
All right. He's going to he's going to tie the rope, the other end of the rope around the shingle. How heavy is the shingle? About, you know, five pounds. The shingle. That's enough. Croc Lachla is going to whip the shingle with the rope tied to it over the wall. OK. You. are Go ahead and roll me a yeah standard attack roll. Let's say with a simple weapon. So like unarmed attack? ah Yeah, but unarmed attack. That's an 11. Yeah, you ah you toss it over. No issues. So now we've got a roll back.
01:15:29
Speaker
Is it like a tightrope? No, we'll jump over and then we climb it back up. OK. All right. Well, who would like to start? So how far is this is between up here and the down there? Just like five feet. Five feet.
01:15:58
Speaker
So. So attempt this. Yolo jumped it. You could. You could jump. Sir, sir.
01:16:08
Speaker
help me draw for the valve.
01:16:13
Speaker
yeah From this angle, i I see the blob of fur and bass. Yeah, you can see that it's. um Around here. So little downright of you. i I can't see what it is. You can't see what it is, but you can see that it's there. OK.
01:16:40
Speaker
I mean, what else is what else could happen, right? And he throws it. He takes the alligator head. The taxidermied alligator. Oh, my God. And he throws it the thing to see if I can get a better look at what the the bass of stuff is. but Actually, no, you throw it at the mass. No, no, no. I throw it like up here, like so it lures it up to here or something.
Jaren's Garden and Creature Encounter
01:17:04
Speaker
No, over there. OK. Yeah.
01:17:06
Speaker
As you're throwing this alligator head, you notice it kind of resembles Benny in a weird way. Oh, God.
01:17:17
Speaker
I don't want to think about it. I'm thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah. As you do that, um you know, it lands right around there and the blob just sort of blazes over, goes to where the crocodile head was. It snips. It's now directly in the line of your jump.
01:17:37
Speaker
But you don't really get a better look. Help me now. You know what Kelby now has, right? Oh, God. He's a landing pad. He's got a fuck. Oh, fuck said it. OK. Very soft, right? So he does mind like, oh, he's going to make a hard fall. So it is. Are you making the long jump? Yes, he's going to he's going to step back and barrel in it, you know. All right.
01:18:07
Speaker
Okay. Don't act surprised. You know what's going to happen. All right. Roll an athletics check.
01:18:19
Speaker
Nineteen. Okay. And where is your token? It's inside. Inside Crock-A-Lockle, because I was grabbing myself up to make a jump. Okay.
01:18:31
Speaker
I brought Sam Sid like... Alright, so you... Uh, soar over. You know, you run, and then you jump. And you actually land, um... Right on top... Of, uh... Well, you can see what it is. Let me just move you. Oh, what the fuck is that?
01:19:01
Speaker
And it's going to You know, it's like um Roll me an un armsm strike unarmed strike arm strike. Yeah as I'm falling does it look like a enemy? Not currently And I it's safe this is theory was combat long jump is what one action. Yeah, I In theory, can I get like, well, I'm jumping. I rage.
01:19:34
Speaker
I'm going to say no again um because it is not currently an enemy. It's just a big animal. Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. Okay. And Kelby again, just have a massive bit of retrospective on what he defines. Correct. Based on our strike, you said. Yep.
01:19:58
Speaker
17 okay um you surprisingly softly uh bounce off the uh the animal's back and uh fall onto the ground uh i will say you do land prone okay uh but let me just assign prone to you um but you uh you notice as the animal just you know sort of goes over and sniffs you
01:20:28
Speaker
and uh we're gonna pause that right there um y'all right there bro yeah it's actually kind of an interesting creature here it ah where
01:20:44
Speaker
it's ah It seems to be more curious ah you than anything. Does it look friendly? that does Does it look friendly? ah You can see um there appears to be like a very tiny pink bow on the top of its head. Oh, okay. I see what you want. He's going to pull out the medium rare steak.
01:21:06
Speaker
e Oh, I forgot about that.
01:21:15
Speaker
and he's gonna cut half of it out and give half to this creature. Okay. Um, roll me nature, nature. All right. No, oh, there's no animal handling in this God forsaken. Uh, actually, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to be nice. Um, let's say nature or
01:21:45
Speaker
diplomacy i guess they're the same nature for diplomacy i'm gonna roll danger seven okay um yeah so let's say okay well no not necessarily um does a 15 hit ah No, it does not. All right. It's just going to ah snatch ah the meat from your hands and its jaws. um It's going to it's going to wolf it down and then, ah you know, continue just looming over you sniffing. I need assistance, guys. I think this thing is still hungry. Hello. What have you done over there? Can you like pull the rope turn like climb over? Carefully steps aside towards the rope.
01:22:40
Speaker
It's still sniffing. It grabs the rope. I mean, Kelby grabs the rope, pulls it tight. After the crack lock of emotions to Benny. Benny will try to cross. All right, that's going to be acrobatics from you, Benny. Or athletics.
01:23:04
Speaker
That's a 17. All right, you ah you cross over. And then you ah you land right next to Kelby.
01:23:16
Speaker
Croc Lock was going to do the same. And I'm looking at this creature? Yep. That is Acrobatics 21. 21? Oh, you. 22, sorry. You gracefully go over and land right down ah next to. What the fuck?
01:23:37
Speaker
Uh, Benny and you see just this big, friendly, uh, wearing a pink bow animal.
01:23:49
Speaker
Hello. Benny's going to wave all at it. We mean, you know, harm. Probably. Right. That doesn't look like a crawfish.
01:24:06
Speaker
Uh, Benny, uh, Realm of Diplomacy.
01:24:15
Speaker
As my foundry just crawls to a slow... Out of character, is that a North American honey badger? I don't know. I like that you're going for North American, uh, 13. Okay, um...
01:24:39
Speaker
Kelby does a 19 hit.
01:24:49
Speaker
Kelby? 19? Yeah, that hits. All right.
01:24:58
Speaker
Uh, you're going to take six points of piercing damage as points. This, uh, this badger, um, you know, ignoring, uh, Benny completely just no sniffs, uh, sniffs Kelby and, uh, just gives a, uh, a playful, almost a curious, almost playful, uh, bite you almost like it's not even aware of its own size.
01:25:23
Speaker
It hurt me, right? It did. It did hurt you. ah Nice. It's not nice at all. It's just gonna. All you guys watch as Kelby like Kelby like starts getting Ted stuff. He's like trying not to cry because he fed this thing and it still bit him. And he's just like about to burst out in like anger and rage unless one of his friends tells him to pop out. Please don't. I'm going to set a hand on his shoulder. I don't know. It's kind of an atomic.
01:26:03
Speaker
ah what do we What do we need to do? I feel betrayed, you know? Feels like there's a pro qu- I can't fucking say that word. Quid pro quo? Quid pro quo, yeah. I feel like there's a quid pro quo here and it completely broke that. Just don't bother it. the statue <unk>lockel as you move around to the statue, uh, the animal is going to, uh, follow you around, uh, as you now take attention. All aboard! What does the statue look like? Um, it appears to be a statue of a, uh, a handsome knight. Uh, or at least it once was. Um, because, uh, its face appears to be
01:26:57
Speaker
Well, its face doesn't match the rest of its body. At least not anymore. um It's where the body is, you know, very, very solemn and, ah you know, very, very nightly. The face is very, very goofy. You know, it's like it's sticking its tongue out. It feels like it doesn't really, doesn't really fit. It's my kind of mouth.
01:27:24
Speaker
Is it like holding a weapon or anything? Uh, yeah, I mean it's holding a, uh, you know, big sword. But like, it's just a big stone sword.
01:27:38
Speaker
Croc Lachla wants to try to turn the hand. Okay. Uh, Roman athletics. Okay. Uh, that is a 15.
01:27:51
Speaker
Well, you don't break the statue, thankfully. um But ah it it doesn't budge, you know? Thought I was onto something there. And then... That's all I've got.
01:28:18
Speaker
ah ah
01:28:22
Speaker
Fuck, okay. Does a 30 hit? What? Yeah, that's a crit.
01:28:31
Speaker
Actually, before I roll damage, would anybody like to hero point that? Yes, me. Okay, okay. You hero point that. Does a 13 hit? No. All right. ah It bends back down. You know, the the animal bends its head back down to bite you, but you just...
01:28:52
Speaker
Barely get away in time. How? How? How? How? How? Not without sizzling. And these words catch up on his bone arm and sticks out his bone arm. Gentle or call.
01:29:11
Speaker
Romy nature or diplomacy. OK, I'm going to go with diplomacy. That is a twenty four. All right. ah You do that and um The animal ah it very ah very gently sort of sniffs your arm And then it sticks its mouth around it ah It sort of tongues the goop and use a ketchup you put on it. Yes It sort of slurps that off doesn't doesn't hurt you at all. ah In fact, ah youre you know, it's teeth completely ah ah avoid you um And it just sort of like
01:29:50
Speaker
Smacks its lips as it uh as it tastes that and it just I'll try to pet it while it's doing this Romy nature with is advantage a thing and a pathfinder. No. All right, just roll me straight nature That is a 19 19 All right You pet you pet the animal And it ah it's ah it'll it lets you do so. It almost sort of like nuzzles into your hand. um And then it just... ambles off. Finds a nice little bush. And it just lays down.
01:30:39
Speaker
There we go. All right, let's go find some fucking house tremors.
01:30:46
Speaker
All right. Oh, where where would you like to go from here?
01:30:55
Speaker
Well, looks like there's a bunch of walls around. Yeah, a lot of a lot of walls. We're such short people. Why would she send us somewhere with so many walls? Oh, because this is where the astronomers are.
01:31:15
Speaker
It's hedges. There's hedger. All right. Yeah. Over there. ah ah That's just, uh, that's just the vine. Oh, the vine doing it.
01:31:28
Speaker
for the
01:31:33
Speaker
What is this mystical thing that I'll see? He points at the rake. Oh, ah you just you see a right there. um And ah it's a rake.
01:31:48
Speaker
Croc Luckle has never seen a rake before. Oh, fuck. Croc Luckle has also never seen leaves before. Oh, I see. So Croc Luckle is ah in a totally new world. He's never been to the surface.
Bizarre Conversations and Sprite Discovery
01:32:02
Speaker
So this is like a totally new world to him. To be fair, I don't think Croc Rockle has seen anything before. Croc Rockle's gonna start trying to eat the rake. Well, nope. That's not food. That one's not food, bud. Metal bits first. Oh, oh no. That one can't be eaten, buddy. Huh?
01:32:27
Speaker
as As he looks up at you, then you can see that he actually somehow has managed to seemingly bite off and digest three of the tines of the rake. Have you hurt goat? No. What's a goat?
01:32:53
Speaker
It's a creature. It can kind of eat anything. Huh. Um, I should note when you look up, uh, and see that, or when you look up to, uh, to Benny Croc block hole, uh, there are flowers on, uh, on Benny now. It's like in his hair. Just a couple of flowers there. You know, that's something that's a good look for the Rachala kind of good though. What? What is?
01:33:24
Speaker
Oh, we're playing hard to get. Okay, I just- I just see where we're going here. Dr. Logos gonna walk away. What?
01:33:36
Speaker
him
01:33:39
Speaker
kitten
01:33:41
Speaker
what i keep hearing something new Now, that might be the squirrels who does that sometimes.
01:33:53
Speaker
What's this? Shut up, Tinkerbell!
01:34:01
Speaker
Uh, just a... Just some vines, you know? Uh, maybe like grapes, uh, flowers, just... You know, just plants growing on tresses. Is that what they're called? Tresses? Oh god. Yes, tresses. Why did I say... Yeah.
01:34:18
Speaker
You said grapes? Yeah. You said, you said, you said grapes? Mm-hmm. Pearl's shit. Lenore, he looks, he looks at Benny. You know, there's this, there's this gal who runs this town with the camp that I'll, I'm from, Lenore. Mm-hmm.
01:34:40
Speaker
I'll keep growing up to him and asking if he's got any grapes! Oh my god! And who on earth gets so mad at me? And you can see tears starting to stream down Croclockle's face as he starts shoveling grapes. He starts shoveling grapes into his mouth. That's a 10. Fine.
01:35:09
Speaker
I'm just a ramble! yeah you're shoing those You're shoveling those grapes down. You sure are. We're all just watching in confusion. Just watching this right now in the silence and... ...infusion. This is the untitled effect of my existence.
01:35:39
Speaker
What does that sound? Kelby hears it. Is that a Minecraft cat, Norils? Would you like to investigate where that sound is coming from? Yes, Kelby would love to investigate.
01:35:52
Speaker
You will be something for us, right? Yes. Yeah. Vaguely behind you some. I look behind us. It is sort of direct. You don't see anything.
01:36:12
Speaker
Is it the the critter? No, it's ah it's it's actually fast asleep.
01:36:30
Speaker
I guess we continue on down this way. Seems like the the only. No, Benny, as you turn the corner,
01:36:41
Speaker
um
01:36:47
Speaker
One sec. Nothing happens. You don't feel any different.
01:37:02
Speaker
I don't feel or hear anything, is that what she said? You think maybe you hear like a... more of that sort of like sparkling that Croc Buckle noticed earlier?
01:37:15
Speaker
Really nothing. ah Kelby, as you approach though, you notice... um oh as you as you get As you get close to Croc Locker, you notice that the Squeeze... um Well, what color is the Squeeze normally? Deep green. ah It is a bright shade of blue now. Hey, the Squeeze is a bright shade of purple right now. Croc Locker looks in the Squeeze.
01:37:41
Speaker
our so Benny looks at the squeeze. You're colorblind. And wrong with him. Croc Luckle pulls a Kleenex out of the squeeze and hands it to Benny. It's perfectly dry. I don't think I want that while it's blue. Well, the tester doesn't blur. Yeah, but I don't know what's wrong with the with the frog.
01:38:12
Speaker
Crocolockle looks at the squeeze. Is something wrong with you?
01:38:21
Speaker
Okay, fine, fine, fine, we'll do this. gri it The fan will. Crocolockle clears his throat. Which is ah diabolic for, is something wrong with you? boy What the fuck?
01:38:44
Speaker
Uh, how does this squeeze respond? Ribbit. I don't know how to squeeze this, it's fine.
01:38:56
Speaker
I don't take this issue. You've got burgers hanging out your fucking nose, man. It's kind of grossing it out. I take the Kleenex. thanks sir And wipe my nose.
01:39:13
Speaker
Thank you. And he sticks out his hand to retrieve the Kleenex. I give it to him. Croclockle takes the Kleenex. Raises it up towards his face.
01:39:31
Speaker
And sticks it back in the squeeze. Oh, that's a surprise troll that will help us later. No, I will note that as Croclockle is doing this, He sticks his hand like all the way in the squeeze and ends up elbow deep into the squeeze. What the fuck? As in like, as in like it's, it's bigger on the inside kind of a thing, right? I guess so. Oh my God. Okay. Can I quickly move on? Yes. Croc Lachl. Croc Lachl's hand is comes out i covered in
01:40:10
Speaker
bright neon pink liquid. Oh.
01:40:20
Speaker
Which he wipes off onto his filthy, filthy bandages. I don't like this anymore, guys. Kelby, you you watch it rapidly turn green. Oh. Oh, I like.
01:40:41
Speaker
Why me never do ah the GG for this group?
01:40:53
Speaker
Just be glad we're not doing a full on campaign with Croc Luckle. I know. Croc Luckle is the devil. Croc Luckle is unique and will never be replicated again. Good. I don't think I can, no matter how hard I try. Now, Benny, Benny, Benny, real quick, as you turn the corner.
01:41:16
Speaker
ah Let me.
01:41:25
Speaker
As you turn the corner, ah you see what appears to be something small and sparkly. Flit up over the wall and appears to go back towards Kelby. What? Kelby, find the sparkly thing. I find it. Where where is it?
01:41:56
Speaker
Do I see it? You do not. Oh, I would see sparkly.
01:42:07
Speaker
Is there anything sparkly in the area? No, you don't. You don't see anything. Is. Is Benny's, is Benny's guitar sparkly? Proclocal, actually. You.
01:42:22
Speaker
look over to where uh you know where kelvin question minor question uh yeah quick quick follow question um because i feel like this would be a thing that kelvin would notice but why is that badger following us hmm why is that badger following us uh so crock-lockle um
01:42:50
Speaker
Um, you actually lock eyes with, um, a little, a little tiny, uh, lizardy sprite, um, that is hovering right next to Kelby's face. Um, you know, as he was looking for it, it was sort of hiding behind his head with every turn. Uh, but it, it, it makes perfect. Kelville, don't move.
01:43:17
Speaker
I literally, like, Kelby just does not move. He doesn't even breathe. Arkell, everyone stop.
01:43:28
Speaker
Arkell, I know how to handle this. Croc Lachl reaches into the squeeze and pulls out a cement Danish. Oh. And. Very gently.
01:43:46
Speaker
holds it out to the little sprite.
01:43:52
Speaker
From. Make a diplomacy check. OK. That is a twenty two. All right. As you do so, um the little creature cocks its head and then it ah reveals itself.
01:44:15
Speaker
And you all see in front of you this little fairy dragon. ah car And it's going to slowly crouch. It's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna just rest on the one little thing.
01:44:43
Speaker
on the on the Danish. and What is it that you said to it? Friend. You're going to hear in your mind. Friend. Friend. Friend. Now that he sees that it's a dragon, he's talking and draconic. Ah. Friend. Friend. And it's going to it's going to. Oh, I move you.
01:45:15
Speaker
That's all right. They can be sort of dancing around each other. Yeah, they're they are. That's what I was trying to do. They're they're just they're dancing around. Run, run, run, run. Croc Luckle starts a full on conversation with this thing, like starts introducing it to the squeeze.
Badger Battle and Resolution
01:45:35
Speaker
Asking it its name, of course.
01:45:42
Speaker
The scroll, it replies. This squeeze, is your name true?
01:45:51
Speaker
It will lead me. It will lead me to my friend. Yay, friend! Are there more friends? Friends in the Friends in the ground.
01:46:09
Speaker
Look, they're dead right or they're alive right? Big friends in the ground! Oh! so This crock-a-lock will notice the Badger. Can I tell you something? It's been about three minutes now. um And Kelby hasn't even breathed. These are the pass out.
01:46:33
Speaker
I'm giving a timer. Kelby, breathe. Kelby, move. Oh my god, man.
01:46:42
Speaker
I want to see what happens. You do in fact notice the badger though, Kelby. I heard a little shit. Another friend! It's gonna, it's gonna sniff around. And then Arelina's gonna go over to it. Big friend! Big friend! Whoo!
01:47:11
Speaker
Uh... And then, um... Oh, no. The Badger's going to, uh, sniff Iralini. I swear to God, if it tries to eat this fucking fairy dragon, I'm gonna kill it. And, uh, she takes eight points of piercing damage. Oh, no.
01:47:31
Speaker
As ah it chumps down on her. Croc Lachla is going to immediately grab Iralini. All right. and irelin is travel Feed the Danish. I thought you were going to say feed Irelini to the Badger. No. Feed Irelini the Danish, which is an elixir of life. All right. Roll that. OK. This is the most important role I've ever done. i Four hit points and plus one saving ah bonus saving throws against diseases and poisons. OK. All right.
01:48:08
Speaker
You've done that. She's alive. She's ge's doing just fine. Bad friend, bad friend. Brock Lockless is going to is going to like is going to like keep Irelini like close to him.
01:48:30
Speaker
OK, well, we're all friends. We're looking for a little snivel snivel. That was a shad. Do you remember the shadows? Because I sure as shit don't. Bad friend. Bad friend. Uh-oh. And, uh, Irelini flies over the wall. Oh. Should we, uh, that badger's a problem. Or that creature's a problem. I tried to bite. Fairy. Crock-Lockle? Eh? Is it a 22 hit? Huh? Yes.
01:49:11
Speaker
That's 12 points of piercing damage. oh okay'll be You said 12? Yes. Kelby sees his best friend get big. Does it draw blood? Oh, it draws blood. Kelby can't stand the sight of blood. And he's going to rage. Here we go. All right.
01:49:35
Speaker
you know
01:49:38
Speaker
a We've really been trying to avoid murdering this bat. yeah from I should note, this thing does not look aggressive yet. It doesn't realize we're in combat. And because of that, and because I forgot to roll its initiative, it's going to skip its first turn. OK.
01:50:07
Speaker
um Croc Lachl is going to start out by by taking the taking the squeeze and rapidly just squeezing some pink goop into his mouth, which is gonna function as a numbing tonic.
01:50:33
Speaker
alright
01:50:37
Speaker
So I can't put the condition on myself. Don't have permissions to. Oh, weird. That'll give me that'll give me two temp HP when I get it. And then at this, I'll also get two temp HP at the start of each of my turns for the next minute.
01:50:59
Speaker
All right. Let me see if I can put that on you. Yeah, if you just drag it in from the item description in my inventory. beautiful
01:51:16
Speaker
Beautiful It's weird I could swear I did this myself last time hang on could you move up one?
01:51:28
Speaker
I've moved up one. There we go So that was two of my actions One to take it out, one to ingest. And then am I currently grabbed? No, no, it ah it doesn't care. Then my final action is going to be to scamper.
01:51:54
Speaker
So plus five foot bonus to my speed, plus two bonus to AC against reactions triggered by this movement as I scamper up
01:52:08
Speaker
and around.
01:52:13
Speaker
I'll end my turn there. That's my turn. Okay. That brings us to Benny. Okay. I'm going to start by casting Courageous Anthem by doing like a little riff on my guitar. And so everybody should get
01:52:37
Speaker
spell effect of courageous anthem for a round however uh is that an aura that i could yeah it's an aura of a 60 foot emanation that lasts for a round okay um like i guess i just drag it onto all of you oh wait hang on there is in fact a 60 foot emanation in the description yes
01:53:05
Speaker
There we go. Emanation down. And it does not automatically apply. No, because that's a measurement template, not an effect. I see. So I do, in fact, put it onto all of them. Yes. Sometimes there is an aura effect that will apply automatically. Sometimes there's not. OK. So for the next round, every good one gets a plus one status bonus to attack rolls, damage rolls, and saves against fear effects. All right. Cool. Nice.
01:53:32
Speaker
Thing two I would like to do is I would like to do a recall knowledge check of nature. Yep. See if I know what the hell to do with this thing. OK. Let me go ahead and roll that for you.
01:54:00
Speaker
Well, you can tell that this is a giant badger.
01:54:04
Speaker
And you can tell that it's big and it's tough. I'm going to yell to the the group at large. This thing is called a badger.
01:54:23
Speaker
Oh, shit. Just like led. It's like look over at you, Benny, as you said that sort of like. Curious.
01:54:38
Speaker
And then with my last action, I'm going to go ahead and move here.
01:54:50
Speaker
All right. So what actually attacked this thing? Correct or if I'm wrong? No one's attacked it yet. That brings us to Kelby. I really can't say I'm really raging or no. ah You raised the start of combat. So I'm going to say that you entered combat. in Okay. So I'll use I'm enraged currently. I like raging. I see my friends getting hurt. I get emboldened by a courageous anthem. I'm all amped up forgetting all about the philosophies of pacifism and transcendental meditation. It's just either rip and tear. He's going to attack this thing. Yeah.
01:55:37
Speaker
think happy fun I No, I don't. I will attack. Okay. Wow. Oh my God. A lot of bonuses for this. All right. I bareheaded strike. 26 the head. Wow. Yeah, that hits. Roll damage. All right. Damage going in. It's going to be discordant voice. I do not have that.
01:56:05
Speaker
ah
01:56:08
Speaker
I get the 1d 10, right? Or how do I? I don't believe so. Maybe because I think that's a rage ability. So, yes, you get it. Yes, I do it. How do I activate that? Oops. It should be active automatically because you're right. Oh, I know why. Wait, give me a second. Sorry.
01:56:33
Speaker
It is right.
01:56:37
Speaker
No, okay. Hold on. What is this? 1d10, right? What's the strength?
01:56:43
Speaker
ah Yeah, should be. Okay, I'm sorry. Rage crazy. That's gonna be 15 points of damage. Wow.
01:56:58
Speaker
You just, you punch this thing square in the jaw. This, uh, this animal that doesn't really seem to know what's going on. You, uh, punch it in its snout. You feel some, uh, you, you feel some teeth knock loose. Uh, and this thing lets out a, uh,
01:57:18
Speaker
hit it again
01:57:22
Speaker
of head to hit ah your fist. Uh,
01:57:30
Speaker
It collides with soft fur and it looks directly at you. Oh. Oh, I hit it again. Okay. Fucking eighteen.
01:57:52
Speaker
Eighteen. A multiple attack penalty free. Wow. That hits. All right. Here we go.
01:58:04
Speaker
That's going to be 14 points of damage. All right. you ah You hit this thing again and it... It starts to lose its balance a little bit. It appears to be even even more confused and even more angry. Nice.
01:58:28
Speaker
And it's at the end of your turn? Correct. I just punched it twice, really hard. and All right. That brings us to Madame Trunch Knuckle, who, looking directly at you, Kelby, ah you almost feel a bit of an animalistic camaraderie with it, as the confusion and anger in its face ah turns to pure rage.
01:58:59
Speaker
o Oh, oh it can rage it can rage They rage now They rage now they ran now ah So now it's going to make an attack against you Kelby 21 hit 21 does hit yes That is 12 points of piercing 12 points of piercing
01:59:28
Speaker
I just got burnt down to HP. Alright. And then with its final action, it's going to swipe at you with its claws. Does a 25 hit. 25 does hit. And that's 10 points of slashing. 10 points of slashing. I am now on Bortle. I am now Bortle. And that's the end of Madame Trunchnuffle's turn. Okay.
02:00:01
Speaker
Which brings us to Crocwakle.
02:00:06
Speaker
Crocwakle is going to Quick Bomber a Dread Ampule at it. um And he's going to choose to have it not deal splash damage to anything other than Madame Tron's Snuffle. Oh that's an 11 to hit.
02:00:29
Speaker
Unfortunately, that does not hit. Okay, so it'll still take the one point of mental splash. It takes one point of mental slash, and you watch as this thing... um Its eyes sort of go dead for a moment. As though that did do something. And then it, ah in its rage, picks itself back up, refusing to die. What the fuck?
02:00:58
Speaker
um my god All right then, we're trying the lightning. And Croc Lachl's gonna quick bomber a bottle of lightning at it. Oh no. All right, full attack penalty. Oh, you're fucking with me. That's a nine. That does not hit. Cam has entered the dice jail. Yes, welcome. That is one point. The warded is now a prisoner. That is one point of electric splash. Again, this thing just refuses to die.
02:01:30
Speaker
Well done.
02:01:37
Speaker
Let's see. All right then. We are going to... I'm going to...
02:01:59
Speaker
Uh, I want to check a real fast.
02:02:05
Speaker
Um, okay. I want to take my final action to prepare to aid with encouraging words. I want to prepare to aid Kelby. Okay. All right. And that is my turn. Okay. Nope. That brings us to Benny.
02:02:29
Speaker
Okay, Benny really thought that the the Badger was going to go somewhere. So Benny's going to have to come back up here and Benny would like to cast telekinetic projectile on one of the guitar picks on his belt. Oh. All right. And try and skewer the poor creature through its skull with them piercing damage.
02:02:59
Speaker
Okay, right ahead. Why won't it let me roll? What is that?
02:03:20
Speaker
Okay, that is a 21 to hit. All right, roll damage.
02:03:35
Speaker
She takes four points of piercing damage. All right, you launch four guitar picks towards the Badger. Some of them get into its eyes. ah Some of those get caught in its fur and it just looks angrier.
02:03:54
Speaker
Oh, no. Well, that's all I've got. All right, that brings us to Kelby. I've got more. I fucking just full send it to him on our attack. All right. Do I get to use my aid? Yes. All right. How'd you give me? Look into it. I know you can. You've got those punches. Fucking head off. What do I what do you want me to roll for this? Let's say.
02:04:28
Speaker
Let's go with the your choice of diplomacy or intimidation. Or performance. We're going to go with intimidation, I guess. That is a 19. All right. So.
02:04:52
Speaker
Oh cross that that was a success. I don't know what the DC was but fingers crossed that was success on at age jag that doesn't fax me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Plus one bonus to you. Oh, yes. So I got a plus one bonus to it. Well, yeah, just your tackle. All right.
02:05:20
Speaker
Okay, that's be I'm gonna use a hero point to to reroll that Didn't you? Oh, no, no. no He's I use my all right. Yeah, go right ahead Yeah, yeah, I get to add that predator. I get the ad that encourage it, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's the same tech. Yeah, okay Plus one, there we go
02:05:48
Speaker
Fucking 14. Unfortunately, your attack does not connect. Damn it. Seems like you're a little blinded by your rage. Yeah, I attack a again. Okay. Fucking eight. yeah we Roll a single. We have six now. ah Final attack. All right.
02:06:14
Speaker
Multiple attack family. Here we go. Ah, 16. Three swings in a row and they all miss. Oh, no. Yeah, that's my turn. Which brings us to Madame Trunch. No. So. Kelby. How would I like to die?
02:06:42
Speaker
The 19 hit that does hit. That is 10 points of piercing damage. Kelby just gets, like, thrashed in its mouth. This unconscious immediate.
02:06:57
Speaker
It's the dead. All right. It's the dead, but unconscious. He is unconscious. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. It means that your rage is also gone. F an f and Madam Truncheonuffle is going to rear up and... and She's going to ah stride and gallop.
02:07:19
Speaker
over here. The bedding. Let's go swipe it with its claws. There's an 18 head. Yes, it does. That's nine points of slashing. Ooh, that's rough. OK.
02:07:42
Speaker
And that's the end of her turn. Brings us to Croc Lachl. I'm gonna take one action to step. I'm gonna take second action to I guess second and third action.
02:08:10
Speaker
to take out an elixir of life and pour it down Kelby's throat. Okay. So Kelby, that's a 1d6 to you. You get the roll or I roll? I believe ah the administrator rolls it, correct? Yeah. Sure. All right. I'm asking you, is that how that works? I mean, normally I do it as whoever is actually drinking the potion rolls, but it's up to you. Okay. Table your rolls. Okay. yeah Again. Oh, I just said it's the administrator. So let's just stick with that for now. Okay. Uh, so that's three hit points to you, Kelby, and you get your plus one bonus to disease and poisons. All right. All right. Back up, baby. Uh, and that is it for my turn.
02:08:59
Speaker
All right. Uh, that brings us to Benny. Okay.
02:09:07
Speaker
So Kelby is conscious again, yes? yeah Yes, yes. Okay. I'm going to go ahead and cast... I can get my thing in. Let's go with needle darts.
02:09:30
Speaker
easy
02:09:32
Speaker
Let's see how that goes.
02:09:45
Speaker
Well, that's only a 10. Unfortunately, that does not hit. Then I'm just going to try and bash it in the head with the base of my guitar. Lovely. As an unarmed attack, I guess. Yep, go ahead.
02:10:02
Speaker
And that's with multiple attack letters. Yep. yeah And another 10. It just the guitar. She's going to kill me. and The guitar just thuds against the the thick hide.
02:10:15
Speaker
ah I don't like you anymore. That now brings us to Kelby. Uh, weird question. Are there any penalties for attacking while prone? Like melee attacking while prone? No, but you can't attack while prone. I don't believe you can. I mean, you can, but I mean, you can't attack from here while you're prone. Well, I mean, I could crawl and then rage. Oh, yeah, I could crawl rage and then strike.
02:10:44
Speaker
I guess that's technically true. Yeah. Yeah. It takes an action to stand because in my mind it takes an action to stand, it takes an action to strike and then strike, but I could fit a rage in if I just crawl.
02:11:00
Speaker
Yeah, don't go right. I hope he's just so fucking pissed off. He's going to rage while on the ground and like some horrible like the action movie where the main villain is evil. It's just going to tend to be. Yeah, it's just going to like just start crawling towards this thing. He's going to try to attack it while still prone and raging. Okay. Go ahead and put rage back on.
02:11:28
Speaker
I'm putting rage back on. Awesome. There we go. Let's see it. of I will strike him. oh Yeah, there we go.
02:11:43
Speaker
fuck it ah sixteen You punch one of its legs, it's big, stumpy legs, but it does not care. a Yeah, that's my turn. Which brings us.
02:11:57
Speaker
Imagine we get TPK'd by Madame Trunch Snuffle. That brings us to Madame Trunch Snuffle. Who is going to, uh... Make a bite attack. Uh, against Croc Luckle. That's a 15. That does not hit. Oh, right. Uh, it's then going to attack with its claws. That's another 15.
02:12:26
Speaker
Nope. And then finally, it's going to attack Benny with its claws, which is a 10. That does not hit. All right. ah This Badger is now, ah after you guys sort of deftly dodge all of her attacks, he's looking kind of scared. That's the end of her turn. Croc Blockle. Does she look bloodied yet?
02:12:54
Speaker
Uh, she does not look good. Not at all. Okay. okay Okay. Oh, fucking shit. I don't like this. Um, Croc Lachl is going to, Croc Lachl is going to take one of the old glass decanters. Oh my God.
02:13:22
Speaker
and he said these things were broken, I believe. Yep, yep, they are broken glass. He's gonna take this piece of old, filthy, broken glass, and he's just going to, he's just gonna try to stab it right into her jugular. Okay. Make me a, yeah what is that, an improvised attack roll?
02:13:49
Speaker
Yeah, I don't even know what this... I guess probably just... Yeah, I don't know. Should I just roll with my frying pan? Let's keep it simple.
02:14:03
Speaker
i So make a simple weapon attack roll with a minus two penalty. Simple weapon attack roll. What if I instead... Am I allowed to change what I'm doing here or do I have to go through this?
02:14:16
Speaker
ah I'm still going to attack. I was thinking of i smashing it into my frying pan and then hitting her with the frying pan full of glass. oh Will you take two actions to do that? It would, so it's one action to take to take the to canter off my belt. yep Second action to smash it into my frying pan, third one to attack. Then I will say yes. What are you what are you planning to add with the attack there?
02:14:45
Speaker
i'm hoping that i'll make her start bleeding okay yeah a lot or add some extra piercing damage or something go right ahead um all right so that's gonna be that's a 23 to hit how would you like to do this Yeah! Croc Lachl wants to, frustratedly, just take the decanter off his belt, smash it into the frying pan, and just wham right into there' things ah right into this thing's neck.
02:15:23
Speaker
And you just, you all watch as just shards of glass start poking up and through the fluff. and blood just starts gushing out. Yeah, this thing, uh, Madame Trunchnuffle. Uh, you pierce her jugular, and she gives a wet, gurgly... Woah!
02:15:45
Speaker
Shut in the frickin' butt hole! And it, uh, with a whimper, uh... she drops dead. Frick him. Blah! And, uh, that, officially...
02:16:04
Speaker
It's the end of combat. All right. Well, here comes the fun part and croc lock. He's taking the shards of glass. wave sir Stop, stop, stop. Really stops. I have a, I have a, I have a debt to collect and I'm going to try and retrieve half of my steak. That's eight earlier. Croc Laka would like to assist this by taking one of the broken pieces of glass and just starting to cut her over. All right. Don't be you. Roll me nature. Nature.
02:16:32
Speaker
Probably be more athletics consider. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, sir. I actually survived Yeah, you're right survival is a better role. I forgot that was right. All right I'm gonna all right. I got a 21 survival 20 You two and you know a thing or two about stomachs Uh, yeah, I have one, duh. Yeah, exactly. You, uh, you find the, uh, the half digested, uh, not really chewed, but still half digested, uh, steak inside of, uh, Madame Trunch Knuckle. Edible. Yeah. It's like, just like mom used to make them, you know? Yeah. Re-digested. It's certainly softer.
02:17:22
Speaker
ah Funny enough, bubbles are actually birds. yeah Yeah, yeah. And as you do so, Iralini is going to ah fly back on in. Frand! Frand? Frands, we're back! She's actually going to ignore you, croc-blockle. He's going to fly over to Madame Tranduffle. Frand?
02:17:55
Speaker
Oh, no. rock lael Is going to say in Draconic blood friend was not friend. But. And she's going to fly back away. Now, well, so look what's up, then he's going to kick trunks, trunks. Yeah, I think you're going to kick Toby. I'm not so happy with this anymore.
02:18:24
Speaker
Yeah, well. Still gonna go, still gonna get what I want out of this though. He's gonna dive into the now open stomach and just start devouring as much as he can. What the fuck? As you do that, ah covered in guts.
02:18:41
Speaker
um Just shoveling in just like a lot of mushrooms and Honey. Just like mama. Just like mama used to make it. ah he's he's all He's not stopping at the contents of the stomach. he's like He's eating as much of this badger as he possibly can. Oh, shit. As you do that, that's where we're going to end tonight's session. Thank God. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. If we ever to subscribe, I'm not with a dragon. I'm with my friends again.
02:19:18
Speaker
I don't think that's how the dragon's gonna feel, buddy. wow wow wow wow
02:19:27
Speaker
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