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128: Beware a Fairy Tale
19 Plays1 year ago
Magic Mirror on the Wall, who has the strangest tale of all? If you are anything like us, you like hearing odd and bizarre fairy tales and creepy "children's" stories! They are often short with simple characters and trumped up tropes- stepmothers are always evil! The poor boy turn hero and marries the princess, or prince! Short dude has long name like Rumpelstiltskin!
Kelsey and Alanna curated a short list of strange stories for round one of what's sure to be a fun series we can keep coming back to! Just listen to these titillating titles:
The Devil with the Three Golden Hairs
The Louse and The Flea
The Red Shoes
The Bird, The Mouse and The Sausage
Bet you can't guess which one has religious overtones and which one has a Total Party Kill?! (that's nerd for they all die lol)
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Transcript
Introduction to Castles and Cryptids
00:00:20
Speaker
You are listening to Castles and Cryptids, where the castles are haunted and the cryptids are cryptic as fuck. And I'm Alanna.
Podcast Delays and Health Challenges
00:00:27
Speaker
I'm Kelsey.
00:00:29
Speaker
And hopefully you are hearing this on Friday, December 8th and nothing has knock on wood prevented us from getting this episode out to you. We're sorry we didn't make it out last week, but we had some illness. Very ill. It's like awful. I couldn't go to work and had a fever and
00:00:56
Speaker
No bueno when that happens, especially as a podcaster and you're like, I need my voice. Yeah, especially when the first couple days that hurt to talk, at least right now, I sound awful, but it doesn't hurt my voice to talk. Oh, wow. That's really bad when your throat's that sore. Yeah, definitely was the first few days.
00:01:23
Speaker
Yeah, if you guys can put up with my terrible sounding voice, then we'll power through. I always sound a little nasal. I was listening to a podcast at the end of the day. She's like, I sound sick. And I was thinking to my head, it's OK. You always sound a little stuffed up anyway. OK, anyway.
00:01:52
Speaker
sexy sick boys. No, I don't, I can't really hear it in you. So that's good. I'm glad you're on the mend. I'm very, that's always the worst. And not just for not being able to record and stuff like that, obviously, but it's a fricking time of year. And then like, being sick is the worst.
00:02:12
Speaker
There's the flu, there's still the COVIDs, there's still the things that go around these days. I just have bad luck with I guess the month of November because it was the end of October, beginning of November last year when I got super sick as well and then I lost my hearing for like a month or basically lost it almost completely for three weeks and then it took like two and a half months after that for it to fully come back.
00:02:42
Speaker
That is bizarre. Yeah. And then earlier in the week when I was feeling worse, my ears kept popping and I was like, if I lose my fucking hearing again, I was like so mad. I was like waiting because the one day my eye was bugging me and I had headaches and then my ears were popping. And I was like, I don't get the same thing I had last year. I'm going to lose my shit.
00:03:08
Speaker
you're gonna keep your ear nose and throat doctor in business over there yeah because they had to give me a steroid ear drops and steroid eye drops to like keep the swelling down so i remember it was bad yeah and then we had devpat step in for the patreon and yeah that was quite a while last time i that's the worst like nobody wants it where it just doesn't let go and then i was saying to kelsey how like it doesn't help this
00:03:37
Speaker
day
Patreon Content and Social Media Strategy
00:03:38
Speaker
and age, like you just, you have to go back to work sometimes before you're like fully recovered, obviously. So then you like, you know, you can't kick it that much faster. Yeah, because you're just tired from going to work. And yeah, yeah. And eat the rich and down with corporate democracy. But that does remind me that yes, we, we are going to
00:04:06
Speaker
the Patreon, speaking of Patreon, we were just discussing because we need to, that was this one and the Patreon with the next two things we were recording. So that one will also, we will be doing a full November episode for Patreon on Plots and Conspirators. So you did get the folklore, the AMA video is out at the video level tier. And then yeah, do our bonus one. I know we get to record a new outro.
00:04:36
Speaker
That's maybe not today. Or I could do it. Yeah, not today. Same with the ad. I was like, we need to rerecord the ad, but I'm not rerecording the ad when I sound like this. Yeah, I thought about that too. I was like, God damn it. You got it. Oh, anyway. Anyway, happy to be here and put out TikTok on our Go Follow our TikTok.
00:05:04
Speaker
We don't have any followers except for me. I put out one about Canadian Thanksgiving and then there's going to be a second half and it's about how the American Thanksgiving got to its date because ours are very different dates and so. Yes. I will not tell you why that is. You'll have to go watch it. Okay. I don't think you have to because you don't have to have a TikTok account.
00:05:33
Speaker
Anyway, my mom won't, doesn't have one, but you don't have to. You can just Google things and then they come up. It's like Reddit where you're like something random and then it pops up. It's like, Oh, that's a really big thread on Reddit or like, here's a TikTok about it. I don't have TikTok either. Everything is just like short videos nowadays though. Like that one I was just telling you
Social Media Habits and Preferences
00:05:56
Speaker
about where Pat showed me that this like lion or lioness like
00:06:00
Speaker
looked like she was going to jump into this safari uh car full of people and she did but then she just started nuzzling them all like a great big lap cat and it was really adorable but that's just everything nowadays it's just like quick little videos like no context you know it's all we can consume
00:06:18
Speaker
I get tired of that kind of stuff very, very quickly, like within minutes. Even the amount of time I used to spend on Facebook or Instagram, I don't anymore. I kind of quickly go through people's stories and then I scroll down. I kind of read it out a lot of the people I follow, so I really only am following the people I actually care to see about, even celebrities.
00:06:45
Speaker
I kind of, I check that, then I check Facebook, and then I kind of go do something else. Yeah, it depends what it is for me, because yeah, they have gotten me on some cuter algorithms. Did I tell you that one was just a bunch of like toddlers with Scottish accents talking in their cute little... No! But no, but Daddy! Like just the cutest little... That'd be pretty funny. It was. Getting in trouble and stuff. Oh my god.
00:07:16
Speaker
Um, yeah, but you're right. It can be like, yeah, it can be, uh, not hold your attention. Just like if something's too fricking long, where you're like, I can't watch this four hour episode right now. Or we were going to put on that. Um, now that the indeed, the new Indiana Jones movie is free, Pat will watch it. Oh yeah. I want to see it with the new female.
00:07:41
Speaker
Well, you know how it's supposed to be. He's getting replaced by a young woman in Indiana or whatever. That's the whole like new direction. I didn't remember seeing stuff about it. But yeah, yeah, there's a girl now. So he was very, very skeptical to say the least. He started watching it the other day, just turned it off when she started coming into the picture. But now I was going like,
00:08:09
Speaker
Well, you got to kind of watch something to see if you like it or not. So he's going to give another try. But it was too, it said it was going to be like, what, three hours or something. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I have to go record after this. Like, I can't watch that right now. Yeah, that's, that's too long. I hate how
TV Shows and Movies Discussion
00:08:28
Speaker
long these have gotten. Like, yeah. Yeah.
00:08:32
Speaker
hour and a half sometimes is all you need yes i love an hour and a half long movie yeah yeah anyway that was our movie tangent no welcome back um yeah you were watching a few things you were saying when
00:08:54
Speaker
when you were homesick, because me and Pat were watching The Watcher, which was already. Yeah. It was not bad. I know some people said it sucked, but I was like, I just want to see what they do with this story. I know the story. Yeah. So that was OK. On Tuesday when I was off, I start to finish Binge Watched Wandavision, and it was pretty good. OK. So you hadn't seen it before that, and then you watched it up nice. No. And then starting on Wednesday,
00:09:21
Speaker
and then finishing actually yesterday. I watched Loki. I love Loki. I love Tom Hiddleston. Oh, Owen Wilson. And that is amazing also.
00:09:39
Speaker
such a good show. I remember in like middle school one of my friends dressing up as Loki for Halloween and stuff. We really liked the Thor movies. Her younger sister I think was Thor and she was Loki and it was it was fun. Oh that is fun. You get to carry the little plastic Mjolnir.
00:10:06
Speaker
But I enjoyed the show. It was cool. I like how you said that the humor in it was more so. That was definitely more my kind of like Marvel. I like more humorous ones or like Guardians of the Galaxy or stuff.
00:10:22
Speaker
sometimes is a little more humorous than a lot of the movies. So I liked it. I didn't know it was based, I assumed it was based on characters from the comics. I didn't know necessarily that it was based on different
00:10:40
Speaker
issues of the comics were like that's actually planned that that was going to happen and stuff like more of the characters and the time authority and all that kind of stuff.
00:10:53
Speaker
that they had been around. Yeah, I didn't really realize that those were like things that had existed in the comics like in that universe since like the 80s and 90s. Oh, yeah, I had no idea. So that was kind of cool. After I was done, I was like googling and I was like, is this based? Like what comics is this one based on? And then it's actually based
00:11:17
Speaker
Like on that, it wasn't like an original story somebody came up with, which is how I thought kind of when I was watching it, that that's what it was. Yeah. It just seemed like almost like a modern take on it. It's very timing line. Yeah. Yeah. But I liked it and I, yeah, I just love Floki and I love Tommy also. Watching him whip his hair back every five seconds. And then there's some good Easter eggs in those ones because there's the pervert that you see the,
00:11:48
Speaker
the USS Eldridge from the Philadelphia experiment. Wait, what season are you on? You just watched the newest one, second season, right? Yeah. Yeah. I watched both of them. Okay. Yeah. I can't remember if that was in the, I think that was in the first season that, cause it's when they get to the place at the end of time or like where all the other low keys are there with the alligator low key and the little boy low key, you know, like the leftover low keys and like the leftover stuff. I loved that. It was so cool.
00:12:19
Speaker
That's it's there like the ship you see the ship there and then I don't know. There's like other references like maybe you see the Polybius machine, which I also talked about. Yeah, I love that shit. Actually, you know what fun fact I semi learned that see if I can remember it properly is that the term Easter egg came from when after they filmed I think it was rocky horror picture show and there was like a bunch of
00:12:49
Speaker
it had just been Easter or something so there was a bunch of like Easter eggs literally left in some of the shots and like actual Easter eggs yeah and that's how the term came from because like people actually finding the actual ones in the first
00:13:05
Speaker
like a movie to happen. And then that's where the term never happened. I don't know. I think that's what it was. But I was like, Oh, I know for the Rocky Moore picture show is that the castle or whatever they were filming in was freezing cold. Oh, okay. It was like minus 10 or some shit. They were all Celsius Celsius. Yeah, they were all absolutely freezing.
00:13:27
Speaker
Okay, that's pretty chilly to film in. Yeah, there was like no heat or anything. Apparently the conditions were awful and then supposedly the skeleton that's in the opening of the time-warp shot that's in that coffin, that's a real skeleton. Like somebody that was preserved. I do like those kind of facts where you're like, that was a real person.
00:13:52
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, it's an actual like skeleton dead body. I don't know who the person is. I've never heard them talk about that before. But I'm getting conflicting corroborating information on the internet. Because according to one, I like how Angela and office lady just goes according to the internet. And she's like, I don't write down where the things come from sometimes. I guess one guy at Atari said he
00:14:23
Speaker
liked the idea of waking up on Easter morning hunting for Easter eggs so that he called the hidden features Easter eggs. But Den of Geek says it originated with the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The cast had an actual Easter egg hunt during filming. Okay, I didn't remember that part. Hang on. Yeah, that's not in the movie. They must have just done that behind the scenes. Right? It didn't take me back to it.
00:14:53
Speaker
Now my dog's scratching the carpet. Oh, the Atari guy is mentioned. Okay. Maybe he was the one, but the actual Easter eggs, they must, whatever. I guess they had a hunt and they left some over. I don't know. I literally didn't say more in the article. You know how it starts? Like the sentence and the blurb and then you're like, okay, well, where's the rest of that sentence? Whatever. I gave up.
00:15:21
Speaker
And the guy that plays the, the bottlery kind of guy, the guy with the hunchback, it really like... Wait, in what? In Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh, sorry, I was like, wait, are we still talking about Loki? No. No, yeah. For Rocky Horror Picture Show?
00:15:42
Speaker
He is the guy that wrote and well he did the movie he did like the movie adaptation but it was originally a stage play and he wrote and stuff I think the original stage play and stuff and then he later adapted it into the movie and most of the cast I guess probably other than like Susan Sarandon and that kind of stuff but like Tim Curry and everything they were
00:16:10
Speaker
in the stage adaptations, like already. And so they like, and he stepped in and played the one, the one character, like the creepy Butler and stuff, but he's actually the one that like wrote the play and stuff. Oh, it's like when Stephen King does a little cameo in his movies. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of fun. Oh, that is fun. I didn't know that. Yeah.
00:16:37
Speaker
I love that. I love those little fun facts. I love just watching pop-up video and stuff like that. Yes! A little behind-the-scenes knowledge is always interesting. Yeah, Prime sometimes has those on their movies. Prime or Disney+, I think they both have it in a few things. It like pops up and it'll tell you stuff like while you're watching or you can turn it off. Yeah. Oh really? Yeah.
00:17:07
Speaker
Oh, okay. See, I was just like, no, you can find the special features in there sometimes, which is cool. Love a good blooper reel or found an outlander thing at Valley Village and it had some deleted scenes for season one, which Pat is like on episode eight. He's actually been enjoying watching it with me, guys. Nice. So fun. We just shut it off because then rain came down for supper and of course they were
00:17:37
Speaker
immediately having a sex scene, which then turned into like, it was gonna turn into a fight scene because I was like, you know, that's all it is for a lot of the time. Yeah,
Exploring Dark Fairy Tales
00:17:47
Speaker
Game of Thrones, there's a lot of sex and violence, but like, we'll turn on The Simpsons for now. Yeah. Crap her with something else. Anyway, what are we talking about today?
00:18:03
Speaker
We are doing some fairy tales. I know I'm doing a couple fairy tales from the Grimm Brothers. The Grimm. Harry, it's the Grimm. Yeah. I like the Grimm Brothers. I think I've seen that movie with what Matt Damon they had about them. Yeah, Matt Damon and
00:18:29
Speaker
back with Keith Ledger. Oh, it probably was Keith Ledger because I would watch anything he was in. And even if that one I don't remember being that good. It was all right. Yeah, they're kind of like con artists or something at the beginning and then they find out it's all real then it gets serious or something like that. Yeah. Oh, that's kind of yeah. I didn't really remember. It's been a while. Yeah. Exciting. I don't well.
00:18:57
Speaker
One of mine's is Hans Christian Andersen. I think my other one might have been a grim, but it's not one I'd ever heard of. So I'm excited to see which ones you picked. Yeah, I have my first one.
00:19:15
Speaker
is i got these i think i told you like i had a on my kindle wish list one of the grim books and it was the complete folk and fairy tales of the grim of the brother's grim so i bought that one because it's
00:19:32
Speaker
like really cheap. I think it was under $2. I was like, done. It's got like 800 pages. This will be great. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. That's a good resource. Yeah. So the first one is called the Devil with the Three Golden Hairs. Devil with Three Golden Hairs. Yeah. That's not one of their famous ones.
00:19:56
Speaker
No, I kind of avoided reading any of the really popular ones. Some of them have been done on podcasts already. Yeah, the Little Mermaid comes to mind. Yeah, so I definitely wanted to do ones that I had never heard of before. Yeah. So this one, we'll see how my throat does by the time I'm done reading all these
00:20:27
Speaker
Is it a long one? I mean, they're all kind of long, but yeah. I chose ones that weren't too bad compared to some of the other ones. So I'm like clicking and it was like next page, next page. Holy crap. How far does this go? Like 30 pages? We weren't doing that. This would be a two hour Disney movie. Yeah. Yeah. So this one goes like this. There was one support woman who gave birth to a little son.
00:20:53
Speaker
And as he came into the world with a call on, it was predicted that in his 14th year, he would have the king's daughter for his wife. Oh, okay. Yeah. Ah, that's magical to have the call, but that's a very interesting way they think it's gonna manifest for him.
00:21:17
Speaker
It happened that soon afterwards the king came into the village and no one knew that he was the king. And when he asked the people what news there was, they answered, a child has just been born with a call on and whatever anyone so born undertakes turns out, turns out well. It is prophesied too that in his 14th year that he will have the king's daughter for his wife.
00:21:43
Speaker
Oh no, the king's like, really? Yeah. Who is this boy? Let me see him. Yeah. I'll see if I want to make this happen or not. The king who had a bad heart and was angry about the prophecy went to the parents and seemingly quite friendly said, you poor people, let me have your child and I will take care of it. Oh, what?
00:22:10
Speaker
At first, they refused, but when the stranger offered them a large amount of gold for it, and they thought, it is a luck child and everything must turn out well for it, they at last consented and gave him the child. Oh, no. You can't raise him because then he can't marry your daughter, can he? I don't think, I don't know how long ago this is supposed to be. Maybe they don't care. Right.
00:22:39
Speaker
He's like, this will stop it from happening. The king put it in a box and rode away with it until he came to a deep piece of water. Then he threw the box into it and thought, I have freed my daughter from her under-looked-for-suitor. Ew, sir. You just killed a child that did nothing. Yeah. Oh, Lord.
00:23:07
Speaker
This is just the beginning. The box, however, did not sink but floated like a boat and not a drop of water made its way into it. And it floated to within two miles of the king's chief city where there was a mill and it came to a standstill at the mill dam.
00:23:27
Speaker
Damn. Damn. So he like fully went all Moses. He's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm just gonna just what drift over these rushes over here and come to perfect stop.
00:23:44
Speaker
A miller's boy who by good luck was standing there noticed it and pulled it out with a hook, thinking that he had found a great treasure. But when he opened it, there lay a pretty boy inside, quite fresh and lively. Oh, I'm glad he's still alive. This one's fresh. He's flopping around like a new landed trout.
00:24:12
Speaker
He took him to the miller and his wife, and as they had no children, they were glad, and said, God has given him to us. They took great care of the family, and he grew up in all goodness. Yeah, it continues. It happened that once in a storm, the king went into the mill, and he asked the millfolk if the tall youth was their son.
00:24:38
Speaker
no they answered they he's a foundling 14 years ago he floated down to the mill dam in a box and the mill boy pulled him out of the water do you have to be so forthcoming with this strange game what business is it of his fuck he's still hung up on that too like jeez yeah uh
00:25:05
Speaker
Then the king knew that it was none other than the luck child, which he had thrown into the water, and he said, my good people, could not the youth take a letter to the queen? I will give him two gold pieces as a reward. Just as the king commands answered they, and they told the boy to hold himself in readiness. Then the king wrote a letter.
00:25:30
Speaker
to the Queen wherein he said, as soon as the boy arrives with this letter, let him be killed and buried, and all must be done before I come home." Just like, murder him! Great! And is she the type of woman to just take him at his word? We'll see. Yeah, damn it. The boy set out with his letter, but he lost his way, and in the evening came to a large forest.
00:25:59
Speaker
In the darkness, he saw a small light. He went towards it and reached a cottage. When he went in, an old woman was sitting by the fire quite alone. She started when she saw the boy and said, whence do you come? And whither are you going? Whither? Whither are you going? Tell us thou goest. I come from the mill, he answered, and I wish to go to the queen, to whom I am taking a letter.
00:26:28
Speaker
But as I have lost my way in the forest, I should like to stay here overnight. You poor boy, said the woman. You have come into den of thieves, and when they come home, they will kill you. Oh. Let them come, said the boy. You live in a den of thieves? OK, sorry. That was not what I was expecting. Right. Let them come, said the boy. I am not afraid, but I am so tired that I cannot go any farther.
00:26:58
Speaker
And he stretched himself upon a bench and fell asleep. He was like, let them come and kill me. Damn, he don't give a fuck. No. Soon afterwards, the robbers came and angrily asked what strange boy was lying there. Ah, said the old woman, it is an innocent child who has lost himself in the forest. And out of pity, I have let him come in. He has to take a letter to the queen.
00:27:25
Speaker
The robbers opened the letter and read it, and in it was written that the boy as soon as he arrived should be put to death.
00:27:39
Speaker
to anyone but be born with a call. When the hard-hearted robbers felt pity, or sorry, then the hard-hearted robbers felt pity, and their leader tore up the letter and wrote another, saying that as soon as the boy came, he should be married at once to the king's daughter.
00:28:03
Speaker
Snip, snop, snip, snop, snip. Yeah, so now they're nice robbers. Then they let him lie quietly on the bench until the next morning, and when he woke, they gave him the letter and showed him the right way. Because he didn't read the letter, so he didn't know what it said.
00:28:19
Speaker
Obviously. And the queen, when she received the letter and read it, did as was written in it and had a splendid wedding feast prepared. And the king's daughter was married to the luck child. And as the youth was handsome and agreeable, she lived with him in joy and contentment. I mean, so it turned out good for her. Yeah.
00:28:45
Speaker
After some time the king returned to his palace and saw that the prophecy was fulfilled and the luck child was married to his daughter. How has that come to pass, said he? I gave quite another order in my letter. So the queen gave him the letter and said that he might see for himself what was written in it. The king read the letter and saw quite well that it had been exchanged for the other.
00:29:16
Speaker
He asked the youth what had become of the letter entrusted to him and why he had brought another instead of it. I know nothing about it, answered he. It must have been changed in the night when I slept in the forest. The king said in a passion, you shall not have everything quite so much your own way. Whosoever marries my daughter must fetch me from hell three golden hairs from the head of the devil.
00:29:45
Speaker
Bring me what I want and you shall keep my daughter. Impossible father-in-laws. You're never good enough for my daughter. Sir, you brought this on yourself. You made it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Right? Definitely. In this way, the king hoped to be rid of him forever, but the luck child answered, I will fetch the golden hairs. I'm not afraid of the devil. And thereupon he took leave of them and began his journey.
00:30:15
Speaker
The road led him to a large town where the watchman by the gates asked him what his trade was and What he knew I know everything answered the luck child Sounds like something a teenager would say
00:30:33
Speaker
Yeah. Then you can do us a favor, said the watchman, if you will tell us why our market fountain, which once flowed with wine, has become dry and no longer gives us even water. That you shall know, answered he, only wait until I come back.
00:30:50
Speaker
um then he went farther and came upon or came to another town and there also the gatekeeper asked him what his trade was and what he knew i know everything answered he then you can do us a favor and tell us why our tree in our town which once bore golden apples now does not even put forth leaves damn these poor towns that you
00:31:15
Speaker
her looks super trashy. Some wine and our fountain. No, it's just not even water. Yeah. You shall know that answered he only wait until I come back. He then went on and came to a wide river over which he must go. The fairy man asked him what his trade was and what he knew. I know everything answered he
00:31:40
Speaker
Then you can do me a favour, said the ferryman, and tell me why I must always be rowing backwards and forwards, and have never set free. You shall know that, answered he, only wait until I come back. When he had crossed the water, he found the entrance to hell. It was black and sooty within, and the devil was not at home. But his grandmother was sitting in a large armchair.
00:32:07
Speaker
I don't know if this is supposed to be his grandmother, like the character's grandmother, or if it's the devil's grandmother. I hope it's the devil's. That was my first thought. Just grandma, just inner rocker. Just like, I've been here so long. What do you want? She asked him.
00:32:28
Speaker
But she did not look so very wicked. I should like to have three golden hairs from the devil's head, answered he, else I cannot keep my wife. That is a good deal to ask for, said she. If the devil comes home and finds you, it will cost you your life. But as I pity you, I will see if I cannot help you.
00:32:52
Speaker
Uh, she changed him into an ant and said, creep into the folds of my dress and you will be safe there. Yes. So far, so good. But there are three things besides that I want to know. Why a fountain which once flowed with wine has become dry and no longer gives even water. Why a tree which once for gold and apples does not even put forth leaves. And why a ferryman must always go backwards and forwards and is never set free.
00:33:24
Speaker
Those are difficult questions answered she but only be silent and quiet and pay attention to what the devil says when I pull out the three golden hairs As the evening came on the devil returned home no sooner had he entered that he noticed that the air was not pure I Smell man's flesh said he all is not right here
00:33:47
Speaker
Then he pried into every corner and searched, but could not find anything. His grandmother scolded him. I think this is the devil's grandmother. This is great. It would stand a reason, I guess. This guy's grandmother's just in hell, chastising the devil. I think it's like, yeah, the devil's grandmother. Because it says his grandmother scolded him. It has just been swept, said she, and everything put in order. And now you're upsetting it again.
00:34:18
Speaker
uh you've always you have always got man's flesh in your nose sit down and eat your supper yeah burn people all day no wonder you smell like chard um when he had eaten and drunk and was and drunk he was tired and laid his head in his grandmother's lap and before long he was fast asleep
00:34:40
Speaker
that's adorable yeah snoring and breathing heavily then the old woman took hold of the golden hair pulled it out and laid it down near her
00:34:49
Speaker
Oh, cried the devil, what are you doing? I have had a bad dream, answered the grandmother, so I seized hold of your hair. What did you dream then, said the devil. I dreamed that a fountain in a marketplace from which wine once flowed was dried up and not even water would flow out of it. What is the cause of it? Well, what a weird dream.
00:35:14
Speaker
What a cool inky dink. Yeah. Oh ho, if they did but know it, answered the devil. There is a toad sitting under a stone in the well. If they killed it, the wine would flow again. Aww, kill this little toad. She went to sleep again and snored until the window shook. Then she pulled the second hair out. Ha, what are you doing? Cried the devil angrily.
00:35:44
Speaker
like no shit. I'm trying to sleep here and just keep failing these plucks. Do not take it ill said she. I did it in a dream. What have you dreamt this time asked he? I dreamt that in a certain kingdom there stood an apple tree which had once born golden apples but now would not even bear leaves. What, thank you, was the reason.
00:36:09
Speaker
Oh, if they, if they did but no, answered the devil, a mouse is gnawing at the root. If they killed this very, but if they killed this, they would have golden apples again. But if it gnaws much longer, the tree will wither altogether. But leave me alone with your dreams. If you disturb me in my sleep again, you will get a box on the ear. It's like gonna hit his grandmother. Wow. Yeah. Bad boy.
00:36:40
Speaker
The grandmother spoke gently to him until he fell asleep again and snored. Then she took hold of the third golden hair and pulled it out. The devil jumped up, roared out, and would have treated her ill if she had not quieted him once more and said, who can help bad dreams? What was the dream then, asked Tien, was quite curious. I dreamt that a fairy man who complained that he must always fairy from one side to the other and was never released. What is the cause of it?
00:37:09
Speaker
Ah, the fool answered the devil. When anyone comes and wants to get across, he must put the ore in his hand. And when anyone comes and wants to go across, he must put the ore in his hand and the other man will have to ferry and he will be free. So like he has to give the ore to somebody else instead of him being the one to ore across.
00:37:36
Speaker
Oh my gosh, okay. As the grandmother had plucked out the three golden hairs and the three questions were answered, she let the old serpent alone and he slept until daybreak. When the devil had gone out again and the old woman took the ant out of the folds of her chest, she gave the luck child his human shape again.
00:37:59
Speaker
Dear there are three golden hairs for you said she what the devil says was your three questions I presume you heard yes answer key I heard and will take care to remember he was very subtle with the yeah he was having the dreams and I was just like wow that's really amazing no grandmother was
00:38:22
Speaker
You have what you want, said she, and now you can go your way." He thanked the old woman for helping him in his need and left hell with well content with everything that had turned out so fortunately. When it came to the fairy men, he was expected to give the promised answer. Fairy me across first, said the luck child, and then I will tell you how you can be set free.
00:38:48
Speaker
And when he reached the opposite shore, he gave him the devil's advice. Next time anyone comes who wants to be ferried over, just put the oar in his hand. He went on and came to the town wherein stood the unfruitful tree, and there too the watchman wanted an answer. So he told him what he had heard from the devil. Kill the mouse, which is gnawing at its root, and it will bear golden apples.
00:39:17
Speaker
Then the watchman thanked him and gave him, as a reward, two asses laden with gold, which followed him. He was just being given donkeys filled with gold. They got pouches of gold or something.
00:39:33
Speaker
I prefer to think of it as big booties full of gold. At last he came to the town whose well was dry. He told the watchman what the devil had said. A toad is in the well beneath a stone. You must find it and kill it. And the well will again give wine in plenty. The watchman thanked him and also gave him two asses laden with gold.
00:40:01
Speaker
four asses of gold. At last the luck child got home to his wife, who was heartily glad to see him again and to hear how well he had prospered in everything.
00:40:14
Speaker
To the king, he took what he had asked for, the devil's three golden hairs. And when the king saw the four asses laden with gold, he was quite content and said, now all the conditions are fulfilled and you can keep my daughter. But tell me, dear son-in-law, where did all that gold come from? This is tremendous wealth.
00:40:46
Speaker
Yeah, this is the best. I love his response. I was rode across a river answered he and and got in there it lies on the shore instead of sand. Can I too fetch some of it said the king and he was quite eager about it.
00:41:03
Speaker
as much as you like, answered he. There is a ferryman on the river. Let him ferry you over and you can fill your sacks on the other side. The greedy king set out in all haste and when he came to the river, he beckoned to the ferryman to pull him across. The ferryman came and bade him get in and when they got to the other shore, he put the oar in his hand and sprang out.
00:41:33
Speaker
But from this time forth, the king had to ferry as a punishment for his sins. And then this one just ends saying, perhaps he is ferrying still. If he is, it is because no one has taken the ore from him. Whaaat? Damn! He's like, karma! Stavage! Yeah!
00:41:54
Speaker
And it was a fairy tale with a fairy at the ending. A horrible fairy ending. Yeah. Like, yeah, a fairy man in the fairy tale. Don't pay a fairy man until he gets it to the other side, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that king, that king deserved that. He was a dick. Yeah, right.
00:42:23
Speaker
Um, my other one is really short. Uh, I might just need to get some more water, but my, my next one's like, like only a couple pages long. It's like way shorter. Yeah. That was good. That was a fun one. I liked the ending. Yeah. This one I thought was just, I guess a little,
00:42:50
Speaker
darker, but it's very, very short and just weird. When I read it, I kind of was like, what is even going on? Oh, fun. That sounds like my second story. It's just completely bizarro. That's what's so fun about them. Yeah, this one is called The Louse and the Flea. Oh, interesting. The first one had an ant. Yeah.
00:43:19
Speaker
So, yeah, this looks so weird. Loose and a flea kept house together and were brewing beer in an egg shell. Then... Cute. Yeah. She's got some like toilet hooch like going on. Fucking toilet body. Well, who do they think they are?
00:43:41
Speaker
Beatrix Potter? Why is everything like little animals making things in their little tiny homes? Yeah. Then the little louse fell in and burnt herself.
00:43:55
Speaker
Oh, no. So like, yeah, the investment of fire. On this, the little flea began to scream loudly, then said the little room door. It's like the door of the room said, little flea, why art thou screaming? Oh.
00:44:18
Speaker
Yeah, just assume every object can talk in this story, because it does. Because the louse has burnt herself, then the little door began to creak. On this, the little broom in the corner said, why art thou creaking, little door? Have I not reason to creak? Fuck you. That's like a moment here. Yeah.
00:44:45
Speaker
So it says, the little louse has burnt herself, the little flea is weeping. So the little broom began to sweep frantically. Oh, is that its version of crying? I guess. Then a little cart passed by and said, why art thou sweeping, little broom? Have I not reason to sweep?
00:45:10
Speaker
The little louse has burnt herself, the little flea is weeping, the little door is creaking. So the little cart said, then I will run, and began to run wildly.
00:45:22
Speaker
It's a little wooden cart. I guess so. That's what I thought, like a little cart. A little wagon. Then said the ash heap by which it ran. Why aren't the running so little cart? Have I not reason to run? Are none of them paying attention to each other?
00:45:45
Speaker
So the little louse has burnt herself, the little flea is weeping, the little door is creaking, the little broom is sweeping.
00:45:53
Speaker
The ash heap has said that I will burn furiously and began to burn in clear flames. A little tree stood near the ash heap and said, ash heap, why art thou burning? Have I not reason to burn? The little house, the little louses burn herself. The little flea is weeping. The little door is creaking. The little broom is sweeping. The little card is running. The little tree said, then I will shake myself.
00:46:21
Speaker
and began to shake herself so hard that, or shake herself, that all her leaves fell off. It's just like a potted plant, a little tree. Yeah. Oh my God.
00:46:35
Speaker
A girl who came up with her water pitcher saw that and said, little tree, why art thou shaking thyself? Have I not reason to shake myself? The little louse has burnt herself. The little flea is weeping. The little door is creaking. The little broom is sweeping. The little card is running. The little ash sheep is burning.
00:46:53
Speaker
On this, the little girl said, then I will break my little water pitcher. And she broke her little water pitcher. Oh, well, better than her arms and legs, I guess. I was like, where's she gonna break? They're all still flagellating by the end. Right? Then said the little spring from which ran the water. Girl, why art thou breaking thy water jug? Girl!
00:47:27
Speaker
Have I not reason to bake my water jug? The little louse has burnt herself, the little flea is weeping, the little door is creaking, the little broom is sweeping, the little cart is running, the little ash heap is burning, and the little tree is shaking itself. Oh ho, said the spring, then I will begin to flow, and began to flow violently, and in the watering.
00:47:51
Speaker
It wasn't long before. I guess not. So the spring began to flow violently and in the water everything was drowned. The girl and the little tree, the little ash heap, the little cart, the little broom, the little door, the little flea, and the little louse all together. And that's the end. So the louse wasn't even dead yet! It got dead in the tsunami of sadness.
00:48:21
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what the moral of that one is, but it was so weird when I read it. I was like, what is going on? I don't know what to say. And then we all died. It just drowns the world, I guess. Okay, we'll just wait until you hear my Grimm's one, because those guys were smoking something. I don't know what the peyote they were on. Yeah, there were some weird ones I read, for sure.
00:48:51
Speaker
It sort of reminds me of we were just rewatching the Family Guy Star Wars satire they did or whatever. Chris is Luke, whatever. I just always think of this one little part and
00:49:11
Speaker
There's this little, like, Roomba-sized, like, truck thing goes by in the corridor. And in the family guy's satire, it's called Blue Harvest. It just goes, you a little truck! It's just one of my favorite lines. It's like, the little cart is talking when all the things were talking, then all of a sudden, that's all I could think of. It was like, you a little cart! Little buns are a little tree. Like, oh my god.
00:49:38
Speaker
yeah maybe it's about like blowing stuff out of proportion or i don't really know what this one that was about but yeah i was just like okay that's a little weird yeah tell that one to your kids at night and then they just lay awake blinking eyes is everything gonna die and then they all drowned the end good night even the things that were inanimate objects that didn't have lungs
00:50:07
Speaker
Yeah. The ash heap that would have just turned into mud. Yeah, right? Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Those are my stories. We should do this every month. All right. We'll be right back.
00:50:38
Speaker
Is Mothman really a supernatural force predicting impending doom? Did Apollo 11 really land on the moon? Did you find out, if that was a cult living just two doors down, that you waved to every single day when you got your mail? If these are things that you pondered when you should be sleeping, then I would like to welcome you to Creepy Confidential.
00:51:05
Speaker
I'm your host Noelle, your resident weirdo Wisconsinite. I open case files on my favorite cryptids, cults, conspiracies, and other orally creepy, bringing you new cases, live broadcasts, and local lore. Some stories have been lost with time. Others are perhaps still happening today in your local communities, right under your very creepy noses. So get ready, creeps. It's creepy confidential.
00:51:38
Speaker
All right. Well, I have one. This first one is Hans Christian Andersen. He's got some freaky ones too. Yeah.
00:51:55
Speaker
um yeah i feel like his are pretty known for being pretty dark too like the little mermaid uh pretty dark where most versions are like oh it was horribly painful for her to walk and then yeah i don't know i think she becomes like sea foam at the end it's like really depressing when you actually hear it so i didn't do that one i went with one i'd never heard of cool i'm sure i've never heard it either then i don't know it's called the red shoes
00:52:25
Speaker
Okay. Which little bit made me think of how there used to be a show called Red Shoe Diaries that was on late at night that was hosted by David Duchovny. It was kind of like, like, erotica sort of romance stories. Oh, yeah. Wow. Back in the day where there was no internet, right? So you couldn't like,
00:52:49
Speaker
we'd be like, Ooh, look what comes on at night when it's late at night. Like all the racy shows, like queer as folk and stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. HBO. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. It was David Duchovny. I remember Red Shoe Diaries. Anyway, love a good red boot. So this, the title drew me in. Nice. Yeah. It's definitely super old though. I'm not the kind of,
00:53:18
Speaker
red boots we'd have these days. It was first published in April of 1845. Yeah. I mean, that's a really long time ago, almost 180 years ago. Man. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, it's just like, why are they always poor? And sometimes they don't have names, but...
00:53:46
Speaker
Yours was just a luck child, even when he was 14 and a husband. Yeah, he had no name. I was like, okay. A nameless boy. He's so lucky he doesn't need a name. Exactly. Yeah, probably the name changes from town to town. This one might have a name then. Okay, so it starts, once lived a little girl, pretty and dainty, who was a bit poor.
00:54:17
Speaker
they're always poor yeah yeah if it's not a princess there's someone dirt poor yeah yeah they're somebody's servant we're all a bit poor okay um she had to go barefoot in the summertime and wore wooden shoes in the winter that did not fit well so they hurt her feet oh okay yeah yeah
00:54:45
Speaker
Her feet hurt in those poor shoes and her instep grew quite red, it was said. So this nice old woman took pity on her and made her some more serviceable shoes out of some scraps of red fabric.
00:55:02
Speaker
Okay. The original Louis Vuitton. So far so good, right? Yeah, it's Carrie Bradshaw. The woman was either an elderly shoemaker's wife or one version called the old mother shoemaker. Because I did find a couple different versions of this one, you know, just little tweaks here and there, not really that different.
00:55:30
Speaker
It's always interesting the changes they'll make or whatever. So she had some knowledge, but they were a little bit clunky and not super skilled in the way they were made. But apparently, they fit well and were comfortable. And she had made them specifically for this poor little girl, whose name, as they now tell us, is actually Karen. So she has a name. OK. And it's Karen. Karen.
00:55:57
Speaker
Karen, we're taking it back. Yeah, I was gonna say, is she nice, Karen? I think so. But this one, I think you'll get what the moral is in this one. It's got a little bit of religious overtones, as you'll see. Okay. Yes, okay. Oh, so the old woman got finished them.
00:56:25
Speaker
just in time for Karen's mother's funeral. Oh, sad. I know, I just threw that in there, like that her mom died. And you're like, okay, great. So the first place she gets to wear, although they weren't quite suitable for mourning, was to her mother's funeral. I was going to say who wants to wear bright red shoes to a funeral.
00:56:45
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, but it was like what choice did poor Karen have? So she walked behind the wicker coffin in her red shoes. They were very poor. A large ornate carriage clattered by carrying a large older woman. And she saw the little red shoe clad girl and took pity on her state. And she
00:57:11
Speaker
much like the king did, offered to the clergymen to care for the girl who agreed. I'll take that kid. Yeah, can I buy this child? She looks sad. Yeah. I'm rich. But I guess her mother did just die, so Karen was probably not too unhappy about it. I don't know.
00:57:35
Speaker
she went with the woman thinking that her shoes must have stood out as special to the woman somehow and that that's why she noticed her um but the woman surprised her by promptly burning the shoes as soon as she got carried home with her she said wow rude fuck
00:57:55
Speaker
It is, it is. The one thing someone like made for her too. It's like, yeah. But despite that, she was given new clothes and treated very well at the woman's home. She was taught to read and to sew and, you know, generally treated as a member of the family, I guess. And apparently people admired her attractiveness and beauty wherever she went.
00:58:22
Speaker
But her mirror, it said, told her she wasn't just attractive, that she was beautiful. So, I don't know, it's got kind of like, what, Sleeping Beauty vibes there, like mirror, mirror on the wall. Maybe, I don't know if the mirror's actually telling her she's more beautiful or if she's just looking in the mirror and they mean that she sees like, oh, I'm so much more prettier than they say or something, you know? Yeah, okay. It might be a little like disillusioned with reality.
00:58:51
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, she's not perfect. One day the queen came by through the village with her daughter, the princess. The royal girl was not wearing much in the way of jewels or accoutrements. She wore not a crown nor a fine train, but on her feet were these scarlet red, quote unquote, Morocco shoes.
00:59:14
Speaker
And in one version, the author just opined about how there was really nothing in the world that can be compared to red shoes. All right, then. Someone's got an affinity. It's like the purple hat ladies. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Karen was now old enough for her confirmation, like with the church.
00:59:43
Speaker
so it was a big deal you know so she gets some more new threads and some new shoes for this ceremony of course um the rich shoemaker was making them just for her this time so she went to see him at his place of business uh which was a shop full of like dazzling glass cases of white slippers and all sorts of splendid shoes yeah that would look nice
01:00:10
Speaker
She's got to have shoes made just for me now. That'd be pretty cool. The old lady who was working at the shop or whatever, I don't know if it's the shoemaker's wife, but she measured, she was there to measure her feet and she had very, very bad eyesight. She could barely see the shoes on the shelf at all.
01:00:38
Speaker
Okay, not who I would want to measure my feet in. Yeah, at least she's not making the shoes, but I'm like she was probably like legally blind like my aunt Elsie was. You feel like an eight, eight and a half. Yeah, exactly. How could she read the numbers on the measuring whatever they used? Yeah, maybe.
01:01:01
Speaker
And on one of the shelves, I'm sure front and center, sat a pair of shiny, sleek red shoes. They were just like the shoes the princess had worn also.
01:01:13
Speaker
They had been apparently made for the daughter of a count, but they had not fitted correctly. Maybe the measuring lady. The blind lady did. And the woman caught her admiring them. She said, I suppose they are of shiny leather. They shine so. Yes, they do shine, said Karen. And so they did, and they fit her perfectly.
01:01:42
Speaker
She bought them without mentioning they were read or remarking how they were for her confirmation, which they were certainly not suitable for such an event. And the lady would have told her that if she had known. Yeah, but yeah, we did it anyway. And the whole congregation stared when she wore them to the church.
01:02:00
Speaker
The news got back to the old lady who was shocked and appalled and said that Karen could have worn her old black shoes instead. That would have been more appropriate. So the following Sunday, there was a communion at the church and Karen was getting ready to go. And she had to make a decision. She looked at the black shoes. She looked at the new shiny red shoes. She looked back and forth and she put on the shiny red shoes. Damn.
01:02:30
Speaker
I mean, I love shiny boots, shiny red boots. Why can't you wear whatever you want? You're not going to a funeral this time.
01:02:41
Speaker
I'm sure they definitely had them in the good place. The shiny red really high cowboy boots or something. Wasn't that Cheetie's friend were wearing them and then Cheetie couldn't tell them and told them he loved the shoes. Yeah, so his friend bought him a pair because it was too nice about saying how much he loved them.
01:03:08
Speaker
Because, gee, yes, his essential thing as a character is he's so indecisive that he can't even, and like he also- Ripplingly indecisive. Right. And like, then he has to be like, so morally good that he couldn't like lie. Wait, because yeah, he hates the shoes and the shoes are hideous. So he wants to tell the friend they're hideous, but he can't. And then it's like this whole dilemma. Yeah, he goes too far the other way saying like, I wish I could have shoes like that. And they're like, oh.
01:03:38
Speaker
Yeah, and the friend is playing the guy from The Magicians, Ember, Umber, whatever. Yes, he is. Yeah, they do that really well with with GD because like, showing the
01:03:53
Speaker
Uh, the, also the, the moral dilemma scenario they give where you, you're driving a train and you can kill one person on one track or five people on the other track. And he waits too long and everybody dies because he doesn't make a decision. Yeah. Split the train in half and kill both groups. We all lose. All right. Communion. Okay.
01:04:23
Speaker
At the church door, she and the old lady met a bearded man with a long red beard, who was clearly an old soldier, like a retired soldier or whatever, who was clearly also disabled.
01:04:34
Speaker
They said crippled, which is not very nice. So I updated this. Dear me, what pretty dancing shoes he was saying, because he was kind of like a shoe cleaner person. He was cleaning the ladies shoes for him. And then as he was looking at Karen's shoes and saying that they were pretty dancing shoes. And as he said that, he then slapped the soles of Karen's red shoes
01:05:03
Speaker
And I said, sit fast when you dance. Then the old lady gave him some coin and went into the church. As she took her communion, all she could think about were her red shoes. They consumed her thoughts as she knelt before the altar and drank from the golden goblet. She was so distracted she forgot to sing the psalm or to say the Lord's Prayer.
01:05:29
Speaker
I know. She's gonna get possessed by the devil. Yes, that's not great. The service ended as they all traipsed out. Karen followed the lady to her carriage, but as Karen went to step on after her, the soldier, the old soldier, called out to her. Again, dear me, with pretty dancing shoes. So Karen couldn't help but oblige him with a few steps.
01:05:58
Speaker
She's just trying to be polite. Oh, yeah, let me give a little twirl. But once she started, she couldn't seem to stop. She danced around the church corner and couldn't stop. It just kept going. The coachman ended up chasing her and catching her. And even as she was being carried by him back to the carriage, her feet continued to dance. Oh, volition. Yeah. It's the dancing plague that happened in France.
01:06:28
Speaker
Exactly. There's also, there was a curse in Harry Potter where your legs kept tangling. They gave it to Neville. It was in the books. Oh, yeah. But it's very much like, yeah, oh yeah, he cursed her. Yeah. But she was able to make it back to her home where she was able to put the shoes away in a cupboard, but she still kept peeking in at them just to check.
01:06:57
Speaker
soon the old woman fell ill and it wasn't thought she would get up from her bed again so Karen did her duty to care for her and stayed by her side during her final days up until one night when there was a grand ball that she had been invited to she was lucky enough to have been invited to no she's gonna wear the shoes again
01:07:21
Speaker
Don't do it, Karen! Don't do it! Right? Like now you've had some issues with them. Maybe that was a sign. Yeah, she put on the red shoes and went off.
01:07:38
Speaker
Because she said surely a little dancing couldn't hurt too much. She's been working so hard taking care of the old lady. The shoes had a mind of their own, of course, and disobeyed her every direction. She went left and they went right. She went back and they went forward. She was then dance dragged through the hall and out into the woods. Sorry.
01:08:07
Speaker
That sounds wild. Yeah, you're you're back half flying backwards. Yeah, it was dark and very forbidding and she couldn't even see like
01:08:24
Speaker
two feet in front of her. Up ahead, she could see the spark of a light or something among the dense trees and thought that it might be the moon. As she got closer to it, she saw that it was just the pale oval of the soldier's face. Oh. Yeah. His face must be huge if she thought it was the moon. I don't know. Really high up?
01:08:54
Speaker
The full moon was huge last week. Huge. I didn't see it. I was busy sleeping. I was still so sick. I'm like, I just want to sleep all the time. I know you poor thing. I was like.
01:09:07
Speaker
I picked some stuff. And you're like, I haven't had time. And I was like, oh, yes, she's not feeling well. Yeah. I've been at home watching Loki staring at Tom Hiddleston trying to try to concentrate enough to follow some multiversal time travel TV show where I'm like, my head hurts. Watching Loki and Loki dying.
01:09:30
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. So the soldier saw her and he sat there nodding and he said again, dear me, what pretty dancing shoes. She was now so frightened she started trying to pry the shoes off her feet, but they stuck fast as though glued. She ripped off her stockings and still they sat stubbornly on her feet. I guess her stockings are just ribbons now.
01:10:00
Speaker
Yeah. She danced on into the churchyard and onto the cemetery, but the dead did not dance with her. She glimpsed an angel through the church door who was clad in pristine white robes. He had a stern expression and gravely stood holding his shining sword.
01:10:19
Speaker
I'm gonna cut off your feet. Yeah. Fuck. Dance you shall from door to door and where proud and wicked children live you shall knock so that they may hear you and fear you. Dance you shall. Dance! Okay. I'm sorry. Oh my god. Or the other version. It was pretty similar. It said dance you shall. Dance in your red shoes until you are pale and cold and your flesh shrivels down to the skeleton.
01:10:48
Speaker
Dance you shall from door to door and wherever there are children, proud and vain, you must knock at the door till they hear you and are afraid of you. Dance you shall, dance always. That one made a little more sense. Flesh shrivels away. Okay, great. Thanks.
01:11:09
Speaker
It's a very specific punishment. Like, are we in hell also? Like in your story. Yeah. Like when they made Homer try to eat donuts until he got so sick of them as torture, but he just never got sick of them. Eating all the donuts more. Mercy cried Karen, but if he answered, it was lost as she was carried away. She danced into the next day and night on and on.
01:11:37
Speaker
One morning she danced by a door she knew well. There was the sound of a hymn and a coffin was carried out covered with flowers. Then she knew the old lady was dead. She was all alone in the world now and cursed by the angel of God. Okay. Yeah, not good. No, poor girl. She danced through thorns and bushes and her feet bled. Finally she hobbledanced by the home of the executioner on a lonely heath.
01:12:05
Speaker
she called out to him to come out as she could not come in for she was dancing. Just like river dance, right? Like just the feet are always going, but the top half is not moving at all. Or as Chandler puts it, his legs flail about as though independent from his body. Oh, rip, rip, Bathory Perry. So sad.
01:12:35
Speaker
Um, what did I say? Okay. Oh yeah. She calls out to the executioner and he called back that I don't think you know who I am. I strike off the heads of the wicked and my ax is tingling or quivering to do so. Okay. Um, don't cut off my head. She cried, but cut off my feet with the red shoes. Yup. She confessed her shoe sins and he obliged.
01:13:05
Speaker
You called it! You said cut off her feet! What is this? Saw one? Break my phone. 127 hours of dancing. And off her feet danced into the forest. Oh god! No! I know, right? Where's that image for you? But he kindly carved her some wooden feet and some crutches.
01:13:36
Speaker
Okay. Sorry, it's terrible. He also taught her a psalm sung by sinners, and then in the religious more secular version, a song sung by prisoners who are sorry for what they've done.
01:13:58
Speaker
A song, you know, of remorse, I'm guessing. She kissed the hand that guided the axe and went away across the heath. Oh, it's not done. Okay. She thought she might as well write gloves next and then get her hands cut off.
01:14:17
Speaker
oh god damn it she hasn't quite learned oh my god she had a star suffered enough for these red shoes I will go to the church so people can see me like I'm gonna wear a red scarf and get my head cut off yeah maybe she just needs to be less concerned about people what looking at her you know what she looks like
01:14:40
Speaker
So she heads to the church to pay her respects or get noticed, whatever the case may be. I can't notice. Maxima girls get noticed. No. Chopped off feet girls get noticed. Oh jeez. But as she gets up to the door, her feet come out of the way. Just some body feet come running back in front of the doorway. I couldn't even get it out.
01:15:09
Speaker
Oh my god. And they block her away. So she gets scared and runs away again. Or hobbles, whatever. Oh god. I'm so sorry. I really hope this is not like offending anybody. It's so weird. She stayed for a week at home weeping her sad, bitter tears. But come next Sunday, she thought, surely I'm good to go now, right?
01:15:38
Speaker
But once again, the shoes got in front of her and said, you shall not pass. So she was like, what the hell? I can't go back to church. Maybe I need to do some more repenting and repaying of kindness. Okay. Really actually try and make an effort.
01:15:56
Speaker
She went to the parsonage to be taken into service, I guess with the church. The pastor's wife agreed, so she worked and was faithful and pious as fuck. And her Bible read aloud every night, just didn't do anything, anything but that. And when the children would speak of fancy dresses and the like, she'd only shake her head. So the next Sunday, they asked if she wanted to go to church, but she looked sadly at her crutches and declined.
01:16:26
Speaker
She went back to her room where she could make out the faint music swelling from the church organ. And yes, she could hear the music from the church and she was so sad that she cried out to herself like, Oh, God help me. Just then the sun burst out shining so brightly and an angel appeared before her the same one she'd seen before.
01:16:52
Speaker
Except now, instead of carrying a sword, he carried a green branch of roses, which rose tall, and he touched it to the ceiling. And where he touched, the ceiling rose higher and higher, and at the point of impact there grew a golden star. And then he touched the walls, which opened wide apart, and she could now see the organ. She saw the people in their pews, and the hymn books, and the inside of the church.
01:17:15
Speaker
The church had come to her room or her room had come to it. It made no matter really. She made her way to sit with the rest of the family and they said it was right of you to come. And she said it was mercy. The music was so beautiful and the children's choir so lovely. The sunlight filled her heart so full of peace and joy that it burst into pieces.
01:17:38
Speaker
Her soul flew on its beams to heaven and no one there mentioned her damn shoe choice again. Wow. So she just fucking died? Her heart exploded? It's joy and happiness. Wow. That's a lot. Fucked up? I'm still not over her getting chased by disembodied feet. Yeah.
01:18:07
Speaker
that's weird it's just like bloody bloody foot in shoes chasing her into the woods yeah and all just for like wearing something inappropriate to church not even not going to church yeah this whole time she's still going to church wow
01:18:29
Speaker
I mean, don't get me started. People, the people that use, you know, the way people fought each other for going to the wrong church. Oh, no, we don't like Catholics here now. Oh, Catholics versus Brownists or that? Yeah, craziness. Wow, that was a wild one. It's a lot to absorb, right? Yeah.
01:18:54
Speaker
I don't own red shoes so oh no I own red converse oh no oh I have some maroon booties I used to have ones that were like yeah short yeah like a scarlet like a like a pleather red shoe oh I found a similar one again the heel broke I walked around with the broken heel for a while that night because it was before I had a car
01:19:24
Speaker
Up, down, up, down. You get the one heel. Okay, so funny that your second one was like the louse and the flea or whatever it is. Yeah. Because my second one, and it's a Grimm's one, is the mouse, the bird, and the sausage. Okay, I recognize the title. I might have skim read it.
01:19:49
Speaker
yes because it's shorter you probably could have yeah yeah i was clicking through whatever ones were like shortish i would like go back and like read partially because do i think i want to do this because like the title and almost be like yeah do i want to read this whole thing because by the time i read it i'm probably going to use it because i don't have time to like read 10 million things yeah exactly but yeah as long as you read it and it's good you're like okay
01:20:19
Speaker
yeah okay so once upon a time a mouse a bird and a sausage entered into partnership and set up house together as they do as they do oh and this one i literally just copied and pasted their version um for a long time all went well they lived in great comfort and prospered so far as to be able to add considerably to their stores
01:20:45
Speaker
The bird's duty was to fly daily into the wood and bring in fuel. The mouse fetched the water and the sausage saw to the cooking. Yeah, right. Did he cook himself every day? Just wait. When people are too well off, they always begin to long for something new. And so it came to pass that the bird, while out one day, met a fellow bird to whom he boastfully... expatiated? Wow, I don't know if that's how you say that word, but...
01:21:14
Speaker
I'm gonna guess it means I explained. Yeah. On the excellent of his household arrangements. But the other bird sneered at him for being a poor simpleton who did all the hard work while the other two stayed at home and had a good time of it. For when the mouse had made the fire and fetched in the water, she could retire into her little room and rest until it was time to set the table.
01:21:36
Speaker
The sausage had only to watch the pot to see that the food was properly cooked. And when it was near dinner time, he just threw himself into the broth or rolled in and out among the vegetables three or four times. And they were buttered and salted and ready to be served. Okay. All right.
01:22:00
Speaker
So he just like regenerates every day, a little sausage, the little sausage that doesn't die. I mean, I don't know if he's like, yeah, he's just rubbing his, you know, juices to use his seasoning. He's not cooking himself fully. We eat our water. Um,
01:22:24
Speaker
why there's a character on one of the latest incursions of Scooby-Doo who just goes by hot dog water. That's her literal name. Like, I'll never understand. What the heck? Don't ask. She's got a big afro. Wow. So then when the bird came home and had laid aside his burden, they sat down to table and when they had finished their meal, they could sleep their filth till the following morning. And that was really a very delightful life.
01:22:54
Speaker
Influenced by those remarks, the bird next morning refused to bring in the wood, telling the others that he'd been their servant long enough and had been a fool into the bargain. And that now, it was now time to make a change and try some other way of arranging the work. The sausage is gonna fly and fetch the wood. Yes. I know, it's working for you guys. Come on, just because someone else doesn't do it that way. Your weird little throuple is like...
01:23:23
Speaker
fine yeah as long as you're not eating the sausage or the mouse yeah it's doing good um beg and pray as the mouse and the sausage might it was of no use the bird remained master of the situation and the venture had to be made they therefore drew lots and it fell to the sausage to bring in the wood to cook into the bird to fetch the water
01:23:49
Speaker
oh god okay i want to see how the sausage does i'm invested i think you think yes with no hands and no hands how is he gonna fetch what just the hot dog the anthropomorphized hot dog guy from sausage party oh my god yeah that's all i'm fetching
01:24:14
Speaker
And now what happened? The sausage started in search of wood, the bird made the fire, and the mouse put on the pot, and then these two waited till the sausage returned with the fuel for the following day. But the sausage remained so long away that they became uneasy, and the bird flew out to meet him. He had not flown far, however, when he came across a dog who, having met the sausage- Did it eat the sausage? No! This walking sausage walked into my mouth.
01:24:44
Speaker
God damn it. Had regarded him as his legitimate booty and so seized and swallowed him. Aw. The bird complained to the dog of this barefaced robbery. I mean, what did they think? Yeah. Sorry. But nothing he said was of any avail for the dog answered that he found false credentials on the sausage and that was the reason his life is important. Sorry, he didn't have a passport.
01:25:15
Speaker
Bet you didn't see that one coming. Yeah, false credentials. This is the doll of the sheriff. Yeah. Bye. Oh my god. He picked up the wood and flew sadly home and told the mouse all he had seen and heard. They were both very unhappy but agreed to make the best of things and to remain with one another.
01:25:40
Speaker
So now the bird set the table and the mouse looked after the food and wishing to prepare it in the same way as the sausage by rolling in and out among the vegetables to salt and butter them, she jumped into the pot but she stopped short long before she reached the bottom having already parted not only with her skin and hair but also with life. Ew! This one made me say it. Why did the sausage not die then?
01:26:08
Speaker
yeah yeah you could stand the heat that somehow he could jump back out without arms i'm a thick little bratwurst like what you slipped in and out real quick yeah um
01:26:25
Speaker
All right. He didn't know the methods. You're supposed to go season it before the pot, Moses. Come on. Presently, the bird came in and wanted to serve up the dinner, but he could nowhere see the cook. In his alarm and flurry, he threw the wood here and there about the floor, called and searched, but no cook was to be found. Then some of the wood that had been carelessly thrown down caught fire and began to blaze.
01:26:51
Speaker
The bird hastened to fetch some water, but his pale fell into the well and he after it, and as he was unable to recover himself, he was drowned. Damn. Why shouldn't they all die, just like in yours? This is not going to be some cute little beetroot spotter, or frog in toad, or whatever. Everybody will die. I mean...
01:27:20
Speaker
It's great because none of it makes any sense. Yeah, that's so weird. So the sausage dude and his friend the bird and the mouse. Yeah, some of the titles and some of the stories you're like, there's two semi-normal things, a bird and a mouse being friends and a sausage. I know and you're so you're just like, you want to read it.
01:27:47
Speaker
I wrote down so many names of ones that I was like, that sounds fun. Yeah. Another episode. Oh my God. Yeah, we definitely have to do this again. There was a lot of ones. The read that it was like, ah, this is a little longer. Yeah. Yeah.
01:28:08
Speaker
Yeah they're really fun kind of quick ones to put together because you know I just kind of there's so many out there to choose from that you just go yeah yeah yeah I hope you guys liked it um let us know it's fun to do ones like that and I have seen some other ones do a little bit more deep dives on some of the
01:28:29
Speaker
the more well-known Disney ones that we know and stuff. I did end up reading part of the one about Snow White. I didn't properly read it, but that was a little weird compared to what the Disney movies are.
01:28:51
Speaker
I was like okay. We're like mice and birds are addressing you and Cinderella-ing you. Yeah. Yeah they're a little darker but always fun and bizarre kind of like folklore tales so yeah I think we'll come back to this for sure for sure.
01:29:11
Speaker
Yes, if you guys have any recommendations of lesser known ones that you know that are super weird that you want to recommend for us, that'd be pretty cool too. You can send us a message on social media if you want to recommend one for us to read in the future. It'd be fun. Any favorite fairy tales you have.
01:29:33
Speaker
Yeah, because there's going to be a lot to choose from, so you might not get to a lot of them. So if there's ones you want to recommend that you think are especially weird. Yeah, like maybe next time we, you know, pick all Grimm's ones or something like that or whatever. Also, I read, did I tell you I read the Stephen King book that's called Fairy Tail? It was pretty good. I think you did, yeah. Yeah.
01:30:02
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, just obviously telling fairy tales and stuff brought it back up to me because I was like, yeah, I did have a lot of those like weird, mysterious elements and then this happened and there was an angry king and blah, blah, blah. Yeah.
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01:30:19
Speaker
But yeah, not worth the read, I think. And then I read, I just got done one called How to Sell a Haunted House. No, it was pretty good. There was like,
01:30:31
Speaker
puppets because their mom and dad passed and then like her mom had made all these handmade puppets and oh yeah some like chucky vibes in that sense yeah that sounds creepy oh yeah yeah there was a part where I was like if this was a horror movie I would be turning away because
01:30:49
Speaker
I hate this stuff. You can probably guess what kind of body horror it might have been. Yep. So yeah, yeah, it was pretty good. Pretty good. I might read some more of his stuff. He also had a book called The Final Girls Support Group or something like they have some titles. Yeah, it sounds fun. Yeah, it wasn't bad. I love a good Final Girl.
01:31:16
Speaker
yeah so it might it's something like if you guys like steven king or something it would probably be worth checking out because i enjoyed it but anyway nice i guess we'll let you go until next week when we're hopefully doing our next episode which is what i think that was the like freaking family annihilators right yeah
01:31:43
Speaker
we yes we are filming that one soon too filming what do we do you know what i mean yeah it'll be a dark one oh my god yes yes i pretty much got my notes done for that one just need to type but i and then i was like oh i need a break let's do that some more the patreon one because this is very very dark yeah but they're important stories for sure
01:32:12
Speaker
um but yeah so that one should be a little bit rough and then we'll let you know what's going on for more episodes down like holiday times because you know we'll probably have to take a week off here or there yeah especially after the holidays Kelsey might be a little busy so let you know if there's gonna be any weeks where we're doing anything different but
01:32:39
Speaker
Yes. Stay tuned and we'll try and keep you up to date. Yeah. It's a busy time of year. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yes. It's wonderful and busy and broke. Yes. It's been a rough month for me because November my car registration and then I need to stop having photo radar finds.
01:33:05
Speaker
Oh, shoot. It makes it very, very expensive when you're, it's going to cost your car extra hundreds of dollars to redo the registration. I know I'm taking the higher speed routes now. Cause it was, I didn't like going on the highway and stuff before. So I'd drive all through the city, but then get mad at people driving slow and you go to speed around them. And then that's when they get you. Yeah.
01:33:32
Speaker
They're like, you are going 11 kilometers over the speed limit. I'm like, fuck you. Yeah. Anyway.
01:33:42
Speaker
I'm fine at least I didn't have the sickness of death that you had so yeah it was crazy I can't remember even when I was a kid anytime my mom would ever even check my temperature when I was sick I never once had a fever so the fact that I had a fever
01:34:04
Speaker
on like Monday when I was at work and was like powering through it because I didn't realize I had a fever because I'd never know what a fever felt like before and then Tuesday when I finally checked my temperature was like so this is what a fever feels like I've had this for like 24 hours straight oh yeah because it's like what you get the
01:34:26
Speaker
hot and cold kind of chills. Yeah, I was so so cold at work all day on Monday and then starting Tuesday morning I was just so incredibly hot. Like it was brutal. I ended up having to turn basically my furnace off and then I had to lay on the couch with an ice pack on the back of my neck and another one on my forehead. Otherwise I felt like I was going to pass out because I was so bored.
01:34:55
Speaker
Yeah, and as soon as I would take one of them off to even like get a drink of water or do anything I would immediately get like a full body like hot flash again and felt like I was gonna be sad because I'd have to put the ice pack like hold it to my forehead or like go to the bathroom or it is basically laid on the couch and was like I'm dying.
01:35:20
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's when you need like your mama there like, someone just take care of me. Right? I don't care if I'm an adult. All I had was Gordo that just wanted attention. Oh God. And it was like, you can't make me soup. God damn it. Oh, as much as my dog can be annoying, he does seem to really
01:35:47
Speaker
clue in when you're like sad or not feeling good. He'll come like, you know what I mean? Like he'll sit right next to you. And I feel like he's kind of like, you okay, man? And then like, I'll be like, oh, yes, like, come pet your buddy. And then by the time I start petting him, I'm like, well, now I feel better. Yeah, he's so sweet. The cat we had when I grew up was definitely like that, like with my stomach hurting and stuff.
01:36:14
Speaker
he normally always
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01:36:15
Speaker
laid on my stomach but he always knew when my stomach was hurting and he would lay on my legs instead it was the only time he ever laid on my legs that's so cute yeah Gordo does not know Gordo's like your stomach hurts let me walk on it so I can get up to your face and let me jump from the back of the couch right onto your stomach I always hear people like and then I woke up and my cat was on my face and I'm like well that sounds fun
01:36:44
Speaker
yeah i mean he tries his best but uh he isn't he isn't great the bedside manner is leaving much to be desired he's not a good nurse oh no but that no um that does remind me pat she'll be in another video and a cat came and helped this small black that was little black cat and there was this little black puppy that was stuck
01:37:14
Speaker
behind a door fence, you know, something with slats, you know, like metal bars or whatever, like maybe like a patio door or something kind of thing. And the cat like walked over and kind of like
01:37:30
Speaker
used his hand to show the dog which hole to go through and then the dog starts going through it but his back his back legs got stuck in his ass so the cat comes and reached his hand through the bars and was batting its ass until the dog's ass made it through he like helped him like completely through the bars wow that's so weird like i'll give you a phone if i don't mind i will send it to you but pat was showing me on his phone it was really cute like he totally helped out that little pumper so i was like what
01:38:00
Speaker
That cat's not an asshole at all. Yeah, that's cute. Yeah, because he was like batting his butt. Yeah, I mean, cats do love to just hit stuff and like smack stuff. Right? He used that batting for good. Yeah, geez. That sounds funny. It was. Anyway, cat shenanigans, dog shenanigans. I put the dog at the end of my TikTok video because
01:38:29
Speaker
A, he wouldn't stop wandering around making his little clickety clacks halfway through and I had to be like, pause for a dog. And I'm like, I'll try to get the dog on here because he's cute. Damn it. We know what sells cute cats and dogs. Yeah. Oh, all right. Well, till next time, keep it cryptic. Yes. All right. Bye.
01:38:56
Speaker
Bye. Okay, so this is episode 128, I guess. Yeah.
01:39:26
Speaker
It's what I have. Oh my God. Okay. Well, if everything goes well, you are listening to Castle's Encryptus. Sorry. It's like, if everything works, things start recording. Good. You've given us enough grief, Zencaster. Yeah.
01:39:54
Speaker
don't tell them we said that take away our ability to record oh my god yeah please don't oh my god everything's working against us well all our longtime listeners will
01:40:11
Speaker
definitely know that recording a podcast is not always easy. Nope. So you better believe when we find something we like that we're going to probably stick to it and not look for anything else. So yeah, that's one of the reasons why I love Senncaster. When we tried it, we were like, okay, finally, I wanted to have the video and it's what, up to 4K video, which is funny.
01:40:42
Speaker
F-ing cool. I can see every pour on Kelsey. No, I'm just kidding. I hope not. But it's great video and like just really easy on this one. So like once we stopped recording on our, our phones, I just, I was like, yeah, this is the, this is the one for us. So even though sometimes our computers fuck up,
01:41:09
Speaker
It always comes through for us in the end because we've never lost like a recording, knock on wood, and every time we've had to use it, it's just been really great and really easy and everything's just recorded when we wanted it to, which is, you know, it's a lot to ask for when you podcast as much as we do.
01:41:31
Speaker
yeah it's nice that each of us has our own separate audio recording that you can download and edit so it makes when one of us is doing something or has something it's easy you can edit that out even with the other person was talking because you have two separate tracks that you can edit yeah it's one of the reasons we love zencaster
01:41:58
Speaker
Definitely, it makes it a lot easier. And the audio quality is also a lot better than any of the other programs we tried using in the past. Yes, it is the best. So go to zencaster.com slash pricing and use my code cryptic and you'll get 30% off your first month of any zencaster paid plan.
01:42:26
Speaker
We want you to have the same easy experiences we do for all our podcasting and content needs. It's time to share your story. Keep it cryptic.
01:42:37
Speaker
This has been Castles Encrypteds. You can listen to our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Pocketcast, and our YouTube channel. Please rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Reddit. On our website, you can listen to all of our episodes as well as view pictures for each of our segments.
01:43:00
Speaker
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01:43:18
Speaker
Do you have a spooky ghost story, a creepy cryptid sighting, or a thrilling true crime tale you would like to share and have us include in a future episode? Send us your listener story by social media or by email. Please include the name that you would like mentioned. Our music is by Cobia Fair. Our logo and artwork is by Antonio Garcia. Thanks for listening!