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Everything Action Commentary: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)
14 Plays4 days ago
For the latest Everything Action Commentary, Zach and Chris celebrate Thanksgiving/Black Friday with 2009's Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
Kevin James is Paul Blart, a mall security guard with dreams of being a police officer, despite failing out of the academy. On the busy Black Friday shopping day, armed criminals storm the mall with a scheme to rob millions in credit card funds and take several of the mall employees hostage. While the police surround the mall outside, Paul is the only person not capture inside and gets the chance to save the day and impress the girl of his dreams. While watching the movie, Zach and Chris discuss how New Jersey it is, Paul seeming like he's on ecstasy while drunk, how many wigs Jayma Mays wears at the same time, why all the criminals are extreme sports athletes and more.
You can watch Paul Blart on Tubi or Starz and sync up the commentary to watch along with the Everything Action crew.
We want to hear your comments and feedback. Send them all to contact@everythingaction.com. Also, let us know your suggestions for movies for us to discuss.
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Transcript
Intro
Introduction and Holiday Themes
00:00:36
Zach Sheets
Hello and welcome to another Every Nation Commentary for November 2025. I'm your host, Zach.
00:00:42
Chris Prime
I'm your co-host, Chris.
00:00:44
Zach Sheets
And this month we are celebrating Thanksgiving and I guess, well, I guess it's going to be Black Friday because you're watching 2009's Paul Blart Mall Cop, which is all about, you know, the holiday shopping season and at a mall.
00:00:57
Zach Sheets
And Chris, you've never seen this movie, shockingly.
00:00:59
Chris Prime
I have only seen clips and in like weird references, but I've never wanted to just sit down and watch this. Until now.
00:01:12
Zach Sheets
So, yeah, so we yeah we we were looking for like a some sort of Thanksgiving-adjacent movie. We've already watched Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving. And ah ah other movies like that. So figured, let's celebrate Black Friday.
Setting Up 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' Viewing
00:01:33
Zach Sheets
Paul Blart is on Tubi, that's where we're watching it. So we're paused at right before the Columbia logo comes up. But obviously, if you find like ah ah you know a DVD or a Blu-ray... i don't think it's a 4K of Paul Blart yet.
00:01:47
Zach Sheets
There's slack on that, but... You need a a plug Paul Blart 1 and 2 4K set.
00:01:54
Chris Prime
You know what's really crazy? This movie is supposed to take place in Jersey.
00:02:01
Zach Sheets
Yeah, i don't I don't know if they specifically say what mall it is.
00:02:05
Chris Prime
They don't, but like a lot of the filming took place in Massachusetts.
00:02:12
Chris Prime
And it's just like... the I live in Jersey, and they just don't reference Paul Mart Mall Cop. like It's not like a reference.
00:02:22
Chris Prime
it's supposed to be the West Orange Pavilion Mall, which... Not the best mall. it's supposed to be the Shorthill Mall.
00:02:32
Zach Sheets
It says, i knew it says it filmed at the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts, but they wanted to film at Willowbrook Mall in Wayne, New Jersey.
00:02:39
Chris Prime
Yeah. But they couldn't, because there's no way Jersey would want this filmed there.
00:02:45
Zach Sheets
It's a totally different movie they waited a couple years and like filled it at the ah what American Dream Mall.
00:02:50
Chris Prime
Mm-hmm.
00:02:51
Zach Sheets
and Like Kevin J's fighting guys off like ah a roller coaster.
00:02:55
Chris Prime
I would go to that mall more often if it's like referenced about this, but because this movie is like a fantasy mall, which doesn't really exist in Jersey, it's like you can't even go ironically to the ballpark mall cop mall setting.
00:03:11
Zach Sheets
yeah
00:03:16
Zach Sheets
but uh yeah so let's let's let's jump in and we'll we'll you know we'll get into all the the paul blartness on the ballness let's we'll point out i'm sure we'll point out all the stories that don't exist possibly anymore and stuff like that so um yeah so pause right before the columbia logo uh and then or yeah columbia pictures or columbus i'm blank is columbus pictures it's basically a sony company yeah so and then i'll give a countdown we'll start here so five four three two one play
00:03:39
Chris Prime
Columbia pitchers.
Inspiration Behind 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'
00:04:05
Zach Sheets
Yes, Columbia. Okay. Who's owned by Sony? Sony owns them. And also, obviously, ah Happy Madison production.
00:04:19
Chris Prime
imagine if this wasn't? This was just some sort of, like, falling out?
00:04:23
Zach Sheets
This is where this where Adam Sandler, this is where he draws the line like, nope, I'm not going fund Paul Bartmock up. up
00:04:29
Chris Prime
Yeah.
00:04:37
Chris Prime
Now, this came out in that era where there wasn't a Die Hard in a while, so then people said we could make a Die Hard.
00:04:48
Zach Sheets
It's like, what we made a funny Die Hard?
00:04:54
Chris Prime
I mean, every few years, it's just like, hey, we should make Die Hard again.
00:04:58
Zach Sheets
Well, Live Free or Die Hard was Live Free or Die Hard was 2007.
00:05:01
Chris Prime
I know. And that was like the last time they someone did an official Die Hard, and then...
00:05:05
Zach Sheets
Well, there was a good day to Die Hard that everyone forgets about. It came out like four years later after this.
00:05:14
Zach Sheets
That was the last official one. and
00:05:16
Chris Prime
Well, that was like 2012?
00:05:18
Zach Sheets
2013, yeah.
00:05:21
Chris Prime
But that one I think is better than Live Free and or Die Hard.
00:05:26
Zach Sheets
It's debatable.
00:05:32
Zach Sheets
And then we just had that talk about like ah like a John McClane prequel movie that's probably never going to happen.
00:05:45
Chris Prime
i got Is that Bas Rudin?
00:05:51
Zach Sheets
Was Kevin James getting into like MMA stuff around this time?
00:05:53
Chris Prime
Well, here comes the boom comes out a few years after this.
00:05:54
Zach Sheets
um but Yeah.
00:06:02
Zach Sheets
It's so bizarre that like now Kevin James is trying to be like a legit action star. Because he had that like ah that movie that just came out this year with Christina Ricci.
00:06:18
Chris Prime
What was he the action star?
00:06:19
Zach Sheets
He's like yeah he it's like he's like ah like ah like a former assassin or something. like he's It's like not a joke. It's but the jet like
00:06:31
Zach Sheets
yeah guns guns up
00:06:37
Chris Prime
Thank you.
00:07:15
Chris Prime
So you want to know how that he is pre-diabetic? ah Maybe because his diet is terrible.
Character Tropes and Humor
00:07:29
Chris Prime
Do you put peanut butter on blueberry pie?
00:07:32
Zach Sheets
no
00:07:41
Zach Sheets
Is that his ah cheese on a pie?
00:07:46
Chris Prime
At least apple pie and cheese kind of makes sense, but...
00:07:49
Zach Sheets
that... mean, that kind of makes a tiny bit of sense because kind of like a peanut butter and jelly kind of thing, but that's still...
00:07:55
Chris Prime
Oh, you're right. Peanut butter jelly pie. Wow. I'm learning so much about Paul Bart.
00:08:04
Zach Sheets
but Yeah, make that for Thanksgiving, Chris.
00:08:08
Chris Prime
Paul Bart pie, it's a New Jersey tradition.
00:08:44
Chris Prime
What? Why does he keep making weird promises to his family like this?
00:08:48
Zach Sheets
He's going get healthy. He's going to find a girlfriend.
00:08:53
Chris Prime
Sign up for a dating scam site.
00:08:59
Zach Sheets
It's always weird, like, in movies, when there's, like, a single parent, it's always, like, it's either know the kids, like, are, like, like obsessed getting them a ah new, like, wife or, like, girlfriend, or they hate the new girlfriend and want like get rid of them, or the new, like, significant other want like, get rid of them.
00:09:14
Chris Prime
Well, this is the ah error of, like, the kids are helping their parents learn the internet.
00:09:41
Zach Sheets
This is like trying to get like Charlie on a dating site. It's like, what's your favorite food, Paul?
00:09:44
Chris Prime
yep
00:09:47
Zach Sheets
Milk steak.
00:09:52
Zach Sheets
Remember segways?
00:09:56
Chris Prime
I mean, how did this not kill segues?
00:10:00
Zach Sheets
I think it might have because people saw this movie and were oh, segways are stupid.
00:10:05
Chris Prime
Also, is this from the set of King of Queens? Like, it looks like it's filmed right there.
00:10:12
Zach Sheets
I mean, like it was a that's that was over by then, right?
00:10:15
Chris Prime
I feel like it wasn't.
00:10:20
Zach Sheets
and then And his other show was like after this, right?
00:10:23
Chris Prime
And it was like a sequel to King of Queens.
00:10:25
Zach Sheets
or after the first season when they killed off his like his first show, like season wife.
00:10:30
Chris Prime
Yep.
00:10:42
Zach Sheets
and don't know if I would like like use a segue to like commute to work.
00:10:46
Chris Prime
Pretty sure that drains your battery.
00:10:53
Zach Sheets
And the mall just lets him take a Segway home?
00:10:56
Chris Prime
that's his personal segue.
00:10:58
Zach Sheets
Well, it's all, like, branded with, like, the mall, I think, or, like, security.
00:11:04
Chris Prime
just gonna ignore the fact that he just did a hit and run on a dog.
00:11:09
Zach Sheets
That's our hero.
00:11:13
Chris Prime
See, legal seafood's a franchise in Massachusetts, at least.
00:11:17
Zach Sheets
Yep. Mm-hmm.
00:11:17
Chris Prime
like but It's not Jersey.
00:11:43
Zach Sheets
You know, the smart thing about filming a movie at a mall is that you can like just get do all your like ah promotional stuff. like Just have all the stores. That's all your advertising.
00:11:51
Chris Prime
Oh, yeah.
00:11:55
Chris Prime
All the branding is just natural because it's there.
00:11:57
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:12:00
Chris Prime
But you really don't see too many show like movies these days in malls.
00:12:05
Zach Sheets
no yes yeah it did yep
00:12:07
Chris Prime
Oh, wait. Did this year also the the the other mall movie, Observe and Report, come out?
00:12:16
Chris Prime
And instead of embracing, like, the mall culture and and sort of the ah ah job of being a mall security person, I think Observer Report really, like, made fun of it more.
00:12:26
Zach Sheets
well that was i think the very part is more like taxi driver where like seth roger was like kind of like like going insane it was like way it was way darker yeah
00:12:33
Chris Prime
Yeah, he was getting... Yeah, it had a darker twist where this was the wholesome lightheartedness, but... Now you got a mall cop obsessed with like a worker, which is totally against some policy.
00:12:48
Zach Sheets
and so It's also crazy because wasn't Anna Faris in Observer Report?
00:12:53
Chris Prime
Yep.
00:12:54
Zach Sheets
It's like they're basically twins, like JMAs and Anna Faris identical.
00:12:54
Chris Prime
Same concept.
00:13:13
Chris Prime
Thank
00:13:47
Chris Prime
Thank
00:14:04
Zach Sheets
That's the other movie coming out. Hit the rival movie.
00:14:38
Chris Prime
This is a horror movie, right? Like...
00:14:46
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:14:46
Chris Prime
Paul Bart, like, would have been but like, side character to Vic.
00:14:50
Chris Prime
Vic would have been the main hero.
00:15:00
Chris Prime
Thank
00:15:27
Zach Sheets
I'm surprised they can hear like pepper spray or something.
00:15:31
Zach Sheets
like a taser. That would lead to some like comedic hijinks.
00:15:35
Chris Prime
I don't know they're allowed to have tasers.
00:15:38
Zach Sheets
Anything?
00:15:38
Chris Prime
tasers
00:15:38
Zach Sheets
Anything armed?
00:16:31
Chris Prime
Oh, show some ah excessive force, Paul Wart.
00:16:35
Zach Sheets
yeah Knock him off his car.
00:16:38
Chris Prime
Put your knee on his leg. Do a pretzel twist.
00:16:44
Zach Sheets
Show some MMA, but it jujitsu.
00:16:55
Chris Prime
This movie made at least eight times its, like, budget. I...
00:17:04
Zach Sheets
Yeah, I think it was it was the highest, like, the first movie to to ever make over $100 million dollars in January.
00:17:09
Chris Prime
Oh, my God.
00:17:12
Chris Prime
Nowadays, this would be a Netflix original.
00:17:14
Zach Sheets
Oh, ah yeah, it'd be part of, like, Adam Sandler's, like, Netflix, like, the contract.
00:17:38
Chris Prime
I take bribes.
Imagining 'Paul Blart' as a Thriller
00:18:26
Chris Prime
Is she wearing a wig too?
00:18:27
Zach Sheets
um She has to be.
00:19:07
Chris Prime
Uh-oh. Time to unravel all the work he's set up.
00:19:12
Chris Prime
And time to get defend your job in front of potential girlfriend.
00:19:16
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:20:02
Chris Prime
Again, this could get this could turn into a like thriller where Paul Blart kind of snaps and then uses his mall security thing to be creepy.
00:20:15
Zach Sheets
I mean, I think i think this is a report basically was...
00:21:10
Zach Sheets
He can go backwards? Oh my god.
00:21:14
Chris Prime
You have upgrade to the advanced model for reverse like that.
00:21:32
Zach Sheets
Black Friday yet.
00:22:26
Chris Prime
Okay, so how is this not the person he ends up with and not like the air kiosk girl?
00:22:29
Zach Sheets
yeah Uh-oh.
00:22:47
Chris Prime
I actually like this will they, won't they romance they got right now.
00:23:19
Chris Prime
So, if anything, this just proves that you can take on Jersey Mall, like, cops. Like, Jersey Mall guards.
00:23:27
Zach Sheets
Yeah, they they have no authority.
Mall Setting and Realism Debate
00:23:33
Chris Prime
Also, did that woman get arrested, or did she just walk straight out the, like, mall?
00:23:37
Zach Sheets
yeah That was like those like straight up assault.
00:23:46
Zach Sheets
this This just showed her like walking out with like the bra. shit like She got the bra.
00:23:51
Chris Prime
Yeah, she beat up the other woman who dared step to her.
00:23:53
Zach Sheets
and She's like, oh, you could you can have it.
00:23:56
Chris Prime
Yeah, that should have been like the next scene. It's her like beating up Paul and then like turning and looking at the other woman.
00:24:02
Chris Prime
And she's like, I don't want any trouble.
00:24:10
Chris Prime
she Is she putting on another wig? like How many wigs does this woman have?
00:24:12
Zach Sheets
ah She has to show off her wares.
00:24:25
Zach Sheets
So, she was wearing a blonde wig on top of a black wig top of her actual hair.
00:24:28
Chris Prime
Yeah. what is What is up with this wig woman?
00:24:58
Chris Prime
Listen, you're you're still dealing with a guy who crashed into a park van.
00:25:04
Chris Prime
And then her suggestion was selling it for, like, world's funniest videos.
00:25:05
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:25:14
Chris Prime
Okay, I know it's 2009 at this era, but if you watch the mall cop give a girl, like, scooter ride, you'd be looking.
00:25:34
Zach Sheets
This segue is amazing. is going revolutionize travel.
00:26:00
Chris Prime
Maybe it's because I'm jaded, but like, i I think when people have fun at malls like that, it's so fake.
00:26:10
Zach Sheets
It's the mall!
00:26:41
Chris Prime
This is an autistic coded movie, isn't it? ah Paul Blart is definitely like on the spectrum and...
00:26:46
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:26:50
Chris Prime
He got tricked by ah Mexican woman to get to like for a green card.
00:26:58
Chris Prime
That's like a classic scam.
00:27:00
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:27:03
Chris Prime
Oh my god, i just realized this is like the opposite of the accountant. It's like the mall cop.
00:27:27
Chris Prime
There's not enough numbers. 5550178. It's like. Right.
00:27:31
Zach Sheets
like Yeah.
00:27:35
Chris Prime
it's like
00:27:36
Zach Sheets
Because 5-5 has the area code.
00:27:36
Chris Prime
are
00:27:39
Zach Sheets
The fake area code for all every movie.
00:27:40
Chris Prime
right
00:27:41
Zach Sheets
And then it was like only and then three. two and then three
00:28:02
Chris Prime
Where do you even buy a jacket like that?
00:28:04
Zach Sheets
so no I think it's the same night.
00:28:05
Chris Prime
Only the problem is that he's wearing a jacket, and the problem is that the jacket is, like... It looks like an industrial tarp.
00:28:24
Chris Prime
Wait, is it the next night?
00:28:28
Zach Sheets
the the same night
00:28:32
Chris Prime
Are they in another mall?
Love Interests and Character Development
00:28:36
Zach Sheets
think they but This is like not at the mall.
00:28:45
Zach Sheets
It's American Joes.
00:29:05
Chris Prime
Thank
00:29:40
Chris Prime
Vic didn't honor the mall cop code, partner code.
00:29:42
Zach Sheets
yeah
00:29:49
Zach Sheets
I can't tell if it's an Ed Hardy shirt or just like a fake Ed Hardy shirt.
00:30:31
Zach Sheets
yeah I think the guy saying karaoke was ah Kevin James' older brother.
00:30:35
Chris Prime
Yeah. Is this older her brother cousin?
00:30:43
Zach Sheets
Is this a thing? American Joes?
00:30:46
Chris Prime
I think it's a thing with, like, large eaters, man.
00:31:00
Chris Prime
You know, I like food challenges, don't get me wrong.
00:31:03
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
00:31:04
Chris Prime
But you're basically just eating nachos at, like, a TGIF. yeah
00:31:08
Zach Sheets
yeah
00:31:08
Chris Prime
It's not, like, a ah giant, like, spectacle. Whereas everyone's, like, in Florida, there's, like, Hooter Girls or whatever.
00:31:37
Chris Prime
Uh-oh. All broads got some feelings.
00:31:42
Chris Prime
Also, did he get roofied?
00:31:46
Zach Sheets
No, he just... He doesn't drink, but then he just downed, like, two glasses of margarita.
00:31:51
Chris Prime
But it's one of those
00:31:52
Zach Sheets
But then he... But then... But he's kind of like... It's like he's on ecstasy. It's not like he's drunk.
00:31:55
Chris Prime
Yeah, right? This isn't drunk. And they're still serving him.
00:32:01
Zach Sheets
Yeah, I know!
00:32:03
Chris Prime
American Joseph doesn't give a shit.
00:32:07
Chris Prime
And his friends are just taking it.
00:32:09
Zach Sheets
Hmm? Hmm?
00:32:20
Zach Sheets
And this guy's the only thing guy who does karaoke?
00:32:24
Chris Prime
I mean, maybe he's the night's entertainment.
00:32:28
Zach Sheets
Or... Yeah, yeah is it is it not karaoke? It's just he's the, like, like performer for the night?
00:32:33
Chris Prime
The lounge singer.
00:32:34
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
00:32:44
Chris Prime
It's the same night, right? Like, I...
00:32:46
Zach Sheets
Yes, it is.
00:33:12
Chris Prime
So, is it one of those things where Paul is secretly like a big drunk, but he doesn't drink because this comes out?
00:33:21
Zach Sheets
Yeah, it's like the rage is gets unleashed.
00:33:24
Chris Prime
Yep. but All the repressed.
00:33:26
Zach Sheets
Frank the Tank.
00:33:27
Chris Prime
Yeah. Yeah. But it's all the repressed like partying he doesn't do and like the confidence is now this weird drunk Tyler Durden he's got going on.
00:33:38
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
00:33:51
Chris Prime
See, they're in another mall.
00:33:54
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
00:33:57
Zach Sheets
Did everyone, like, they everyone left and came back to the mall, I guess?
00:34:15
Zach Sheets
I like there's like, there's like, one gets arrested for anything. Like, that woman doesn't get arrested for assault. Paul doesn't get arrested for like, crazy, like, drunken disorderly conduct.
00:34:24
Chris Prime
Well, technically it's that fantasy mall, so no there's no rules in that law.
00:34:28
Zach Sheets
Yeah. It's lawless, yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:34:31
Chris Prime
I mean, Paul Blart is the cop there, so...
00:34:34
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:34:35
Chris Prime
It's also, like, weird, because it's like, when you watch the security guard get hammered at the job... guess you could do whatever, know?
00:34:43
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
00:34:46
Chris Prime
You'd figure they'd go to another mall, like a different area.
00:34:51
Zach Sheets
Yeah, like let's like don't go like, don't go where you work.
00:34:54
Chris Prime
Especially if you're gonna get hammered.
00:35:05
Chris Prime
it's the Paul Bartz sad mix.
00:35:18
Zach Sheets
The haunting Paul Blart theme.
00:35:24
Chris Prime
Oh, you're right. Gary Valentine is actually his brother, but it should be called...
00:35:27
Zach Sheets
Yep. Mm-hmm.
00:35:31
Chris Prime
Wow.
00:35:33
Chris Prime
Kevin James is his professional name, but his real last name is like Kepfin. Kevin Kepfin.
00:36:06
Zach Sheets
For your Oscar consideration, Kevin James.
00:36:33
Chris Prime
And we will catfish them together.
00:37:18
Chris Prime
But he has an awesome sense of humor.
00:37:20
Zach Sheets
yeah
00:37:28
Chris Prime
Oh hey, it's Black Friday.
00:37:58
Chris Prime
Wait, so Black Friday already happened? Like, it's happening?
00:38:01
Zach Sheets
Yeah, I don't know why she's closing her booth. It's like the middle Black Friday. It's like, I'm good. don't need to make any more money.
00:38:15
Chris Prime
Thank
00:38:52
Chris Prime
That's a rejection!
00:39:04
Zach Sheets
Man, I was 2009 cell phone tech.
00:39:07
Chris Prime
like Blackberries.
00:39:15
Chris Prime
Also, interesting to... It's always weird to see cell phone kiosks that don't have an official carrier. They're just like generic cell phone...
00:39:24
Zach Sheets
Burners, baby.
00:39:25
Chris Prime
Yeah, burner phones.
00:40:17
Chris Prime
So do we even like establish who Leon was? it was just sort of like
00:40:21
Zach Sheets
he's he's like He showed up at that restaurant like, Paul, it's not for our usual nacho eating contest.
00:40:26
Chris Prime
are not nightly nacho, like, scarfing thing.
00:40:37
Chris Prime
that's why, like, traditional Joes is okay with with, like, them being drunk.
00:40:42
Zach Sheets
America Joe's.
00:40:43
Chris Prime
Yep.
00:41:09
Chris Prime
Where have I seen this actor before?
00:41:12
Zach Sheets
Keir O'Donnell in like every, basically every TV show of the past two decades.
00:41:14
Chris Prime
Yeah.
00:41:19
Zach Sheets
Like it'll show up like one episode.
00:41:20
Chris Prime
Oh. He was in The Wedding Crasher as the art-like brother.
00:41:24
Zach Sheets
yeah That's like one of his big ones. Yeah.
00:41:30
Zach Sheets
but if you look, if you look up like his like IMDb, it's like, it's like every show. It's like, he we had like one or two episodes.
00:41:49
Chris Prime
That's a totally real game.
00:42:07
Zach Sheets
like how characters are all the same character.
00:42:13
Chris Prime
I do appreciate that there is like Full motion, like, intros, like they did back then.
00:42:19
Zach Sheets
it's it's trying It's trying to be like it's it's trying be like Cruising USA or something.
00:42:22
Chris Prime
Yeah.
00:42:41
Chris Prime
Just a... Open KS of Rockman?
00:42:46
Zach Sheets
it's like, is it an arcade or is it a video game store?
00:42:49
Chris Prime
I don't know there's no...
00:42:49
Zach Sheets
It's supposed to be arcade, but then it's like, this is like the PS3, it's clearly said the PS3 version of, uh, Rock Band or Guitar Hero.
00:42:58
Chris Prime
Rock Band.
00:43:00
Chris Prime
Also no, like, cable, so anyone can just walk out the store with a guitar.
00:43:21
Chris Prime
It's Black Friday.
00:43:26
Chris Prime
Don't call the cops about this!
00:43:28
Zach Sheets
Yeah, don't...
00:43:34
Chris Prime
for crowd control, this terrorist group is being terrible.
00:43:39
Zach Sheets
At least they got sick skater, though. ah It's just like all like just like extreme sports guys.
00:44:10
Chris Prime
But that guy flew up a story?
00:44:23
Chris Prime
I gotta look if there's like a Paul Blart, like, something for Rock Band.
00:44:32
Zach Sheets
i think it was just like, they were just putting in everything. like Remember that movie Couples Retreat?
00:44:37
Chris Prime
That also had a Rock Band in it?
00:44:38
Zach Sheets
and like It had like a huge like rock band set piece in it. Or one one of them. I can't remember which one it was, but
00:45:06
Chris Prime
This is a weird plan. Like, you have seven people covering a giant mall.
00:45:18
Zach Sheets
And they're just robbing the bank. They just want rob the bank in the mall.
00:45:32
Chris Prime
This is
00:45:37
Chris Prime
ah real song
Heist Plot Confusion and Comparisons
00:46:23
Chris Prime
Why is this happening? like What has this to do with the plot?
00:46:27
Zach Sheets
yeah
00:46:35
Zach Sheets
I'm trying to remember. like i don like i think he might become like Paul's like guy in the chair or something. He's like, oh, I have computers or something.
00:46:51
Chris Prime
What was the cop's name in Die Hard 1?
00:46:56
Chris Prime
The, like, McLean's, like, cop friend?
00:47:02
Zach Sheets
L. Powell?
00:47:05
Chris Prime
So this is the Al?
00:47:06
Zach Sheets
Maybe.
00:47:40
Chris Prime
Why would the stores save their money in this, like, you you know, like when the malls put their money in the bank?
00:47:41
Zach Sheets
What?
00:47:53
Chris Prime
Oh god, unnecessary parkour.
00:47:58
Zach Sheets
Hardcore parkour.
00:48:29
Chris Prime
Wait, why are you destroying your only civilians?
00:48:31
Zach Sheets
I know! So
00:48:36
Zach Sheets
if you don't, pisses me off! Fuck the man!
00:48:40
Chris Prime
I don't need to know what's coming.
00:49:49
Chris Prime
I think the lead just started around this time, right?
00:49:52
Zach Sheets
Close to it, yeah.
00:50:07
Chris Prime
Thank
00:50:59
Chris Prime
Why is there a thing whole like be like extreme sport things did I miss something?
00:51:09
Chris Prime
Like
00:51:09
Zach Sheets
Yeah, don't i don't think they mentioned what their deal is yet.
00:51:12
Chris Prime
Their theming is just like people you meet at a skate park
00:51:16
Zach Sheets
Yeah. I think they're trying to go for like a point break thing, but then else it's like Die Hard. So like they're like mixing up their heist movies. Or their action heists.
00:51:30
Chris Prime
Thank
00:52:01
Chris Prime
Thank
00:52:55
Zach Sheets
He's in it. Shoot him.
00:52:58
Chris Prime
He's gone rogue! Take out his wheels!
00:53:11
Chris Prime
Thank you.
00:53:41
Zach Sheets
That's a real creed.
00:54:12
Chris Prime
Is there like a gas leak in this mall? Like, everyone it just sort of like showing off to each other.
00:54:20
Zach Sheets
yeah
00:54:34
Zach Sheets
Do get his Die Hard yet?
00:54:36
Chris Prime
yeah
00:54:38
Chris Prime
Thank God there's a Kevin James-sized vent.
00:54:42
Zach Sheets
but Yeah.
00:54:51
Chris Prime
You got a fart?
00:55:11
Chris Prime
Thank
00:55:29
Zach Sheets
He's so stealthy.
00:56:23
Chris Prime
Oh boy, that's assault. We can't. You got to turn yourself in.
00:57:17
Zach Sheets
This is like a real store where all these like feet hang from the ceiling.
00:57:22
Chris Prime
Probably not. feel like that's like a problem to keep bumping into.
00:57:35
Chris Prime
Thank
00:58:10
Zach Sheets
I'm way more jerseys than you are.
00:58:12
Chris Prime
Yeah, at least he sounds like he's from Jersey.
00:58:28
Zach Sheets
how that how it works?
00:58:30
Chris Prime
i guess so.
00:58:47
Chris Prime
Thank
00:59:44
Chris Prime
Thank
01:00:36
Chris Prime
And he messed up and they were all wiped out.
01:00:43
Zach Sheets
Or you can get to die hard. They try to move in, but they have like crazy plan to stop them.
01:00:47
Chris Prime
Mm-hmm. They try to bring a helicopter to the roof, but it's rigged with C4.
01:00:52
Zach Sheets
Yep.
01:01:13
Zach Sheets
Bye.
01:01:52
Zach Sheets
skateboarder!
01:02:01
Zach Sheets
and not sure if it's that guy or the guy with like the long hair, but one of them is like ah like a pro skateboarder who had a serious exam show, I guess, and then they set up a studio for him like on the set.
01:02:05
Chris Prime
Like an actual skateboarder? Yeah.
01:02:14
Chris Prime
Really?
01:02:24
Chris Prime
my god, Val, you murdered him.
01:02:27
Zach Sheets
He's gone crazy.
01:02:30
Chris Prime
He's had the taste of a kill.
01:02:32
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:02:57
Zach Sheets
So what were those codes again? Like it's like each store it's for like their deposit the bank or something.
01:03:03
Chris Prime
I guess so. It's like to get their numbers to access the money at the actual bank.
01:03:24
Chris Prime
So like they had to go into the store to grab their banking info and then steal it from.
01:03:30
Zach Sheets
Take it back to the bank.
01:03:31
Chris Prime
yeah
01:03:31
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
01:04:08
Chris Prime
How did Paul get to the roof?
01:04:12
Chris Prime
Like he had to climb a ladder.
01:04:12
Zach Sheets
Yeah, it seemed like he was the basement tunnels.
01:04:39
Chris Prime
Thank
01:04:49
Zach Sheets
Damn, he's cool.
01:05:08
Chris Prime
The fall didn't kill the bad guy. The segue to the face probably did.
01:05:12
Zach Sheets
probably yeah
01:05:43
Chris Prime
How did she get past all the police?
01:05:50
Zach Sheets
We have a little girl walking in. All right, it's fine.
01:06:13
Chris Prime
Thank
01:06:57
Zach Sheets
The trick store called. They're running out of you.
01:07:05
Chris Prime
Oh yeah, where's your segue?
01:07:19
Chris Prime
Okay, Paul's still trying to, like, steal, right? Like,
01:07:22
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:07:37
Chris Prime
Thank
01:08:09
Chris Prime
Thank you.
01:08:53
Zach Sheets
That's not creepy.
01:09:13
Chris Prime
I do enjoy the tropes, like the play of them. I just wish like the movie leaned to it way more.
01:09:25
Zach Sheets
like like It was like a fun like, ah got cauterized a wound.
01:09:38
Chris Prime
Why are you talking? Tex!
01:09:45
Chris Prime
Thank
01:10:19
Zach Sheets
It's a ghost skateboard.
01:10:41
Chris Prime
You know, if they had security cameras, they would probably be able to find him, but since they were totally against monitors...
01:10:49
Zach Sheets
Yeah, if someone hit smash all the monitor screens.
01:11:03
Zach Sheets
Because they don't really have a tech guy. The other guy is like, oh, most textures went off. He's monitoring that. one's watching anything. Yeah. Yeah.
01:11:12
Chris Prime
He didn't to do hack anything. He's literally just watching the monitors.
01:11:14
Zach Sheets
yeah
01:11:28
Chris Prime
Oh, so now he's cosplaying a real cop.
01:11:32
Zach Sheets
He's geared up.
01:11:44
Chris Prime
you
01:12:24
Chris Prime
you
01:12:42
Zach Sheets
Are we sure it's hyperglycemic? He's not like narcoleptic.
01:13:09
Zach Sheets
The ultimate sacrifice.
01:13:11
Chris Prime
Dirty lollipop.
01:13:45
Chris Prime
Paul whoops out a gun at the last moment. Like...
01:13:47
Zach Sheets
a Rayforst cafe in
01:14:12
Chris Prime
Vic is, like, untangling, right? Like, he's sort of disassociating that he's on, like, a terrorist gig.
01:14:27
Chris Prime
is, like, the nicest rainforest cafe.
01:14:32
Zach Sheets
Yeah, still got like the full like aquarium.
01:14:54
Chris Prime
He's in his element.
01:14:59
Zach Sheets
So Paul's like the predator now. Rainforest Cafe.
01:15:04
Chris Prime
he's in his element
01:15:11
Zach Sheets
I know this restaurant like the back of my hand.
01:15:34
Chris Prime
Was that like a famous Paul Bart catchphrase?
01:15:39
Zach Sheets
If I wanted to be.
01:16:13
Zach Sheets
Oh, no.
01:16:19
Chris Prime
There was like no urgency, right? It just sort of exploded when it felt like the right dialogue moment.
01:16:29
Zach Sheets
And he just like, just like turned the gas up, I guess. And then he had like a fish, it was like a fish tank heater.
01:16:36
Chris Prime
fish heater.
01:16:37
Zach Sheets
Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:30
Zach Sheets
You blew up the Rainforest Cafe. It's over.
01:17:34
Chris Prime
That's an anchor store. That's what holds them all together.
01:17:48
Chris Prime
like how that's how Vance, like, robotics were back then.
01:17:54
Zach Sheets
like, oh my god, look at this robot monkey.
01:18:06
Zach Sheets
That's like sudden death.
01:18:08
Chris Prime
Another diehard thing.
01:18:26
Zach Sheets
What does VEC have? It's a VIO. It's not a phone, it is it? It's
01:18:31
Chris Prime
think it's Palm Pilot.
01:18:33
Zach Sheets
like a Sony VIO.
01:19:01
Zach Sheets
There's 30 million?
01:19:04
Chris Prime
That's a lot for 2009. I
01:19:08
Zach Sheets
For like... Are they saying it's just for Black Friday they made 30 million? Like the stores made 30 million?
01:19:19
Zach Sheets
Or it's all like the holiday sales? That seems like a lot for like 30 million for like one day.
01:19:27
Zach Sheets
and one mall.
01:19:27
Chris Prime
i mean, maybe it's one of those things where they just pool their money for weeks and until Black Friday.
01:19:33
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:19:34
Chris Prime
Which is, again, bad banking system if that was the plan.
01:20:14
Chris Prime
Thank
01:20:35
Zach Sheets
Well, that didn't work.
01:21:07
Chris Prime
No one knows how to silence their phones.
01:21:20
Chris Prime
Heh heh.
01:21:39
Zach Sheets
Remember that character?
01:21:41
Chris Prime
yeah
01:21:58
Chris Prime
Thank
01:22:05
Zach Sheets
He's right, Dad. You're a failure.
01:22:42
Chris Prime
This is like a Disney movie ending.
01:22:46
Zach Sheets
Vex
01:22:55
Zach Sheets
just starts shooting like wildly and killing everybody.
01:23:08
Chris Prime
Yeah, Beck would have just been like, bang.
01:23:27
Zach Sheets
Yeah, why why leave Paul and know the rest of the hostages alive? Just, like, shooting all them and being like, taking you two. Everyone else is useless.
01:23:39
Chris Prime
Thank you.
01:24:14
Chris Prime
Oh, Paul doesn't drive. That's why.
01:24:18
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:24:52
Chris Prime
Thank
01:25:27
Zach Sheets
I'm going jump out the van and jump in there, man.
01:25:29
Chris Prime
Yeah.
01:25:34
Chris Prime
Well, okay. Is it weird that, like, both vans, like, minivan into work van only make sense for Kevin James' is shape? Like, it can't be, like... I thought it might be the Mustang.
01:25:47
Chris Prime
You know, like, they kind of hinted at that the beginning.
01:25:49
Zach Sheets
That would make sense if he drove the Mustang.
01:26:03
Zach Sheets
He's runs through the woods to shame.
01:26:07
Zach Sheets
I give up
01:26:30
Chris Prime
Okay, does this is movie end with him being thrown into a ah jet turbine? That'd be cool.
01:26:34
Zach Sheets
Maybe.
01:26:43
Zach Sheets
get like any money or no? Because Paul got all the codes, so he has like no money.
01:26:46
Chris Prime
Yeah, he got no money.
01:27:14
Chris Prime
And I do it without any meds.
01:27:32
Zach Sheets
What?
01:27:38
Chris Prime
Thank
01:28:15
Chris Prime
Yeah, that's a fun Die Hard reference.
01:28:21
Chris Prime
Also, like, were those guys just watching, like, eight feet away?
01:28:24
Zach Sheets
ah the Yeah. It's like, let's see how this plays out.
01:28:51
Chris Prime
Oh, topical reference to the modern day problems.
01:29:49
Chris Prime
Did he pay for that?
01:29:52
Chris Prime
No, right?
01:29:54
Zach Sheets
No, he did. he's like, he he took to get the code from the store and then like stole a birthday card.
01:30:29
Chris Prime
What airport is this? This is a Newark airport.
01:30:34
Zach Sheets
It's like some weird, like, private airfield.
01:30:50
Chris Prime
Again, so weird this takes place in Jersey.
01:30:54
Chris Prime
I kind of forgot that.
01:31:00
Chris Prime
I should, like, try to make Paul Blart more of a Jersey national movie. Like a state movie where it's like, oh, it's Black Friday. Time to watch Paul Blart Mall Cart.
01:31:13
Zach Sheets
you You want some spoilers for the beginning of Paul Bart 2, Chris?
01:31:16
Chris Prime
Sure.
01:31:17
Zach Sheets
So, he and Amy get married, but then she divorces him six days after the marriage.
01:31:23
Chris Prime
What?
01:31:24
Zach Sheets
And then ah his mother gets killed by a milk truck. That's how Paul Bart 2 starts.
01:31:31
Chris Prime
Does Amy come back?
01:31:34
Zach Sheets
i think she's I think it's just to yeah they it like a weird joke in the beginning. It was like, oh, we got divorced.
01:31:42
Chris Prime
I think, like, this ends with them being married at the mall.
01:31:53
Zach Sheets
yeah
Plot Critique and Alternative Storylines
01:31:54
Chris Prime
So this marriage doesn't work.
01:31:56
Zach Sheets
So six days later they get divorced. According to Paul Bartu.
01:32:02
Chris Prime
Well, because they literally just like met each other like a month prior.
01:32:06
Zach Sheets
It's it's the the speed thing of like was it relationships built on extreme circumstances that don't work?
01:32:12
Chris Prime
Danger.
01:32:22
Chris Prime
i mean, i I would see number two just to see how weird it gets.
01:32:32
Chris Prime
But that's sad that, like, Paul's marriage doesn't work out.
01:32:32
Zach Sheets
it's in
01:32:37
Zach Sheets
Yeah, because 2 is like in Las Vegas and it's like a security officer convention, but then that gets taken over.
01:33:12
Zach Sheets
kind of surprised it's like this extra scene, not like bloopers.
01:33:16
Chris Prime
Yeah.
01:33:27
Chris Prime
Well, the second movie is really about father-daughter relationship, I guess.
01:33:31
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:34:17
Chris Prime
Special thanks to Boston and not Drew.
01:34:43
Zach Sheets
Extreme sports ramps. Thank God the they came in.
01:34:51
Chris Prime
Oh, not those ramps this movie wouldn't make sense
01:34:55
Zach Sheets
I don't think they ever... They never explained if they were like... Oh, we're like skaters. We gotta fund our skate... There was all this random extreme sport people... all this random like like extreme sport people
01:35:09
Chris Prime
Yeah, I don't know why.
01:35:15
Chris Prime
i feel like that should have been like a thing. Someone says that and then kind of explains the whole plot of the gang.
01:35:26
Zach Sheets
Yeah, because then it can be like a like a kind of like an homage to Point Break a little bit, too.
01:35:31
Chris Prime
Like you said, they got confused and just didn't know what the hell to say. They didn't say anything.
01:35:37
Zach Sheets
Also, Tubi tried to force me to start watching RV, too. so
01:35:46
Zach Sheets
I guess yeah that's like the next related movie.
01:35:51
Chris Prime
I'm surprised it's not Paul Bart, too.
01:35:51
Zach Sheets
But yeah, so... Yeah, is Paul Blart 2 on Tubi? That'd be weird if it wasn't.
01:35:59
Zach Sheets
Maybe maybe next next year, Chris, for Thanksgiving we'll watch Paul Blart 2.
01:36:06
Zach Sheets
but what what did you What do you think of your first viewing of Paul Blart?
01:36:11
Chris Prime
it's It's what I thought. It's definitely, like, not my action movie for a big action fan like us. ah
01:36:21
Zach Sheets
Hmm.
01:36:22
Chris Prime
If I had to watch it with Family, it's tolerable. But just, like, the comedy works of Kevin James, when it's, like, toned down, I'm not a big fan.
01:36:34
Chris Prime
If he's not doing the, like, If he's not, like, his King of Queens character, it's weird to me. Because he plays this, like...
01:36:41
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:36:44
Chris Prime
Nerd, I guess? Or just, like, this, like, geek?
01:36:49
Zach Sheets
Kinda, yeah.
01:36:49
Chris Prime
Uh... Yeah, it's, like... It's what I expected. But... It's a time capsule of... If you saw this movie in theaters, you know? You just feel like you've seen this movie before, so...
01:37:05
Chris Prime
Is it worth going to see in a theater versus if you just streamed it at home?
01:37:12
Zach Sheets
But yeah, you're you're definitely right. this like This would be like a like Netflix, like straight but straight to Netflix movie if they made it today.
01:37:20
Chris Prime
also feel like if they did a better job of parroting other movies, if they had a villain that I actually cared about, Because Vic is okay.
01:37:33
Chris Prime
But Vic is...
01:37:33
Zach Sheets
Vec?
01:37:34
Chris Prime
za Yeah, Vic would have been the henchman's...
01:37:34
Zach Sheets
Vec? Yeah.
01:37:38
Chris Prime
like ah He would have been the right-hand man to the main henchman in this thing.
01:37:44
Zach Sheets
Yeah, couldt could it could use more Die Hard. Like, make it more Die Hard-esque. Like, you know, have has some sort of complicated, you know, like, all it's they think you think it's um like a bank heist, but it's actually something else. There's something else in the mall that's trying to steal.
01:37:58
Chris Prime
Mm-hmm.
01:37:59
Zach Sheets
And, like, yeah, just have more, like, homages to Die Hard.
01:38:03
Chris Prime
If anything, it should have been a anti-consumer group that breaks into the mall, and turns out they are heisters themselves because the anti-consumer terrorist group is more of a front for the alternative motive of more money.
01:38:09
Zach Sheets
Yes. Mm-hmm.
01:38:18
Zach Sheets
I
01:38:21
Chris Prime
um yeah See what I mean? like That took me no effort to think of. That was just, whoop. And that makes sense. But then you can't have Paul defend consumerism.
01:38:31
Zach Sheets
mean, you could.
01:38:33
Chris Prime
It could, but it's just a bad message. If anything, it shows you that Paul Blart is, like, and a sweetheart, but he's just clumsy, and he can't handle his alcohol.
01:38:45
Chris Prime
If anything, the alcohol could have came back, where, like, he got drunk, and he becomes a better, like, cop, or, like, he he is, like, wilder.
01:38:55
Zach Sheets
Wow, that'd be a horrible message, yeah.
01:38:57
Chris Prime
But they introduced...
01:38:58
Zach Sheets
Alcohol saves the day.
01:39:00
Chris Prime
Well, I mean... he had those tattoos and and what's it making fun of? Like, did someone at the mall give him the tattoo? That was one night, like weeks ago. How's that still like, like fresh on him?
01:39:16
Zach Sheets
Yeah, the time frame is weird, because it's like, it feels like he, yeah, they go, everyone go like goes and gets, like, they go to, like, American Joes on, like, the day before Thanksgiving. And then Paul has Thanksgiving, like his sad Thanksgiving, and then it's like, next day is Black Friday and the terrorists take over.
01:39:32
Zach Sheets
it's like three days. Mm-hmm.
01:39:32
Chris Prime
This movie takes place for for yeah three days.
01:39:37
Chris Prime
And then, if anything, it would have been a surprise twist if if ah Paul's mall chief was in on the scam.
01:39:49
Chris Prime
And not so much the bully.
01:39:54
Chris Prime
So... I mean, this worked. It didn't need to be complex. It's just, it's not a... repeat viewing and that's also the bizarre like fandom of Paul Blart which I think I've seen way more like memes and and like fan edits of things of Paul Blart
01:40:17
Zach Sheets
Yeah. I think it's probably B-movie realm where it's just like people just like turn it into an insane meme because of like oh like how... B-movie by itself is it still kind of like insane. it's like It makes sense like people like just like take it to another level.
01:40:35
Zach Sheets
But Paul Blart's kind of just like a generic Happy Madison movie.
01:40:39
Chris Prime
Yeah. Yeah, I think I saw a fan image of Paul Blart where it's like he's the mall.
01:40:46
Chris Prime
Yeah, it's like Paul Blart mall, and then just the, it's like a Kevin James face, and it's just kind of encompassing the whole mall. Like I said, dark, dark fringes of just memes that don't make sense sober, but...
01:41:00
Chris Prime
This movie, I get why if you grew up watching it and then you learned edgy humor and you you can come back to this and say, like, what was this?
01:41:12
Chris Prime
I actually thought it would be one of those the humor at the surface level is family friendly. But then if you start looking into it further, you get the jokes that the kids don't get.
01:41:26
Zach Sheets
that Not really.
01:41:26
Chris Prime
Not really, yeah. that's I was like, wow, they don't have any of that. um it's I'm surprised. like
01:41:26
Zach Sheets
No.
01:41:31
Chris Prime
You go back to another Happy Madison movie, like Big Daddy, it's got all sorts of humor kind of hidden in it for kids, family, and like adults, right?
01:41:37
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:41:44
Chris Prime
You could have done that and with this. have been fun little nods to Paul Blart's militant small things, but then his mind creeps into, like, you know, flirty and just, like, bad bad habits he picked up with, like, his kiosk friends and whatnot.
01:42:09
Chris Prime
Or even pretending to be, like, the pen salesman.
01:42:15
Chris Prime
The pen salesman is just, like, aggressive, but... I mean, it's funny because he just sort of, like, leaves the movie.
01:42:25
Chris Prime
I thought it would come back later where like he uses the pen some point. Like that special pen.
01:42:34
Zach Sheets
Yeah, he should have given that to Paul as like a joke. He's like, here, have a pen. And then he like uses his like weapon or something later. like Stabs Vex with it in his leg or something.
01:42:44
Chris Prime
Or he uses it to shoot ink. But we get that scene with the hot sauce, which I thought it would pay off a lot more, but it really just one scene.
01:42:46
Zach Sheets
Yeah. yeah ah but Yeah, just like, he just gives up, just like, smash that table, like, alright, you wanna go?
01:42:51
Chris Prime
know anything, he could have just shattered it and used the glass as a knife.
01:43:02
Chris Prime
Well, it's like you think he's going to go for the hot sauce in the eye, but then Paul what like breaks it and then uses it as like a shiv. You're like, whoa!
01:43:09
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
01:43:11
Chris Prime
Didn't see that one coming.
01:43:15
Zach Sheets
You start talking to me like, why is this movie for you? Nothing's happened.
01:43:18
Zach Sheets
this
01:43:18
Chris Prime
Yeah, the last act is a unhinged rated R.
01:43:22
Zach Sheets
It's just like... It's just him. just him to like Paul Barthes is drenched in blood.
01:43:25
Chris Prime
But it's like because it's the hot sauce, you can't tell the difference.
01:43:30
Chris Prime
Or maybe he gets drunk, pours it on himself, and then tackles the BMX sports group. Now they feel the hot sauce, but he can't because he's drunk.
01:43:41
Zach Sheets
He just, like hes like, slowly starts to just like to go... like he's like The rage build, he like starts like brutally killing them all.
01:43:52
Chris Prime
Yeah, he's pushed to his limits. This is the movie where, like, honestly, it's the same premise of a guy pushed to his limits, and he still does his best to be in control, but sometimes gotta let the beast outside the cage.
01:44:08
Chris Prime
Sometimes you gotta drink a pitcher of margarita, and then just throw hot sauce in people's eyes.
01:44:13
Zach Sheets
ye
01:44:14
Chris Prime
That could have been a whole third act of just Paul Bart attacking people on a Segway. Like, more so.
01:44:27
Chris Prime
But, what about you? This is like your third viewing, or at least second viewing, but you least knew about this whole movie.
01:44:29
Zach Sheets
ah Second time, yeah.
01:44:34
Zach Sheets
I mean, it's pretty it's pretty much what I remember. It was just like a very like kind of like bland, safe, diehard knockoff. like family friendly diehard knockoff with like lots of Kevin James pratfalls.
01:44:48
Chris Prime
Yeah. Yeah, I kind of knew that was going to happen. um But of the Kevin James Pratt Fall movies, I like the one where it's like the zookeeper and then here comes the boom.
01:45:00
Chris Prime
Those are actually, I do like those movies more.
01:45:04
Zach Sheets
And now he's actually trying to be a serious action star.
01:45:07
Chris Prime
I mean, he, I don't mind him. I don't mind actors trying to step outside their typecast, but I do mind actors that don't know like um a mismatched role.
01:45:20
Zach Sheets
I haven't seen, um, what's, is, was he in both Becky's or Becky? Like there's the first one.
01:45:26
Chris Prime
Just the first Becky.
01:45:27
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
01:45:29
Chris Prime
I heard he's good in that one.
01:45:31
Zach Sheets
Yeah. Like he's like the, like, like actually like, like intimidating villain.
01:45:35
Chris Prime
Mm-hmm. A soft-spoken but unhinged villain. think he's a neo-Nazi in that one.
01:45:42
Zach Sheets
I think so. Yeah.
01:45:45
Chris Prime
So that's like Paul Blart 3 where it all goes wrong and he's no longer contained by them all.
01:45:53
Zach Sheets
But then he's also like, it's also funny, good like he did like that Guns Up movie, but then he's also like kind of he's like back to this kind of Paul Blart thing, because he's in that Playdate movie with Alan Richardson.
01:46:03
Chris Prime
Yeah, but that one, he plays the straight man to Alan Richardson's Reacher plot.
01:46:06
Zach Sheets
Yeah.
01:46:09
Zach Sheets
He's basically Reacher, yeah.
01:46:12
Chris Prime
It's like, what if Paul Blart and Reacher hung out?
01:46:14
Zach Sheets
Yes! the but The team I ever wanted to see, Paul Blart and Reacher.
01:46:18
Chris Prime
Well, when Playdate comes out, we'll definitely do a Paul Blart.
01:46:21
Zach Sheets
It's actually, I mean, if you if everyone's hearing this, is it's out.
01:46:26
Zach Sheets
Because we're recording this before Playdate comes out. But if you're hearing this, it's out. You can watch our private video.
01:46:31
Chris Prime
Oh man, so if Playdate does amazingly well, we do Paul Bart 2 for Christmas then.
01:46:39
Chris Prime
But if it doesn't, we're doing Home Alone.
Conclusion and Future Teasers
01:46:43
Zach Sheets
You mean but we watch Playdate for Christmas?
01:46:46
Chris Prime
Either Playdate or Paul Bart 2.
01:46:48
Zach Sheets
Yeah. think we have to save Paul Part 2 for next year. It's like a Thanksgiving tradition. two-year Thanksgiving tradition.
01:46:56
Chris Prime
Yeah, traditionally, it's twice.
01:46:59
Zach Sheets
And not not go insane, like, that won one podcast that, like, watched it, like, every day for, like, a year whatever that was.
01:47:08
Zach Sheets
Till death do us blurt. Mm-hmm.
01:47:09
Chris Prime
See what I mean? There's a subculture about Paul Blart that i like I just couldn't get into. And now that um I watched it, I'm like, I still don't understand.
01:47:22
Zach Sheets
But think that was, like, that talk is about Pulver Bart 2, so we'll have to find out what that, like, because I feel like that one's more crazy or something, or it's just, like, it's, like, somehow there's, like, a thread of, like, craziness going on that one that's, like, not in this one.
01:47:36
Zach Sheets
Mm-hmm.
01:47:37
Chris Prime
Well, I heard that one is critically panned. This one at least was like people were genuinely surprised of people like enjoying it because it's me and you are watching this already with like a send it like a jaded view and we're kind of like, you know, we're critical, hypercritical about action movies.
01:48:00
Chris Prime
So if you are showing your kid your his first action movie, Paul Blart is not the worst thing to do.
01:48:07
Zach Sheets
yeah
01:48:08
Chris Prime
There are way worse movies, but but like by today's standard, this is a Disney original movie.
01:48:21
Zach Sheets
But yeah, I think that'll wrap it up for this this month's commentary. Hope everyone has has a happy Thanksgiving, and hopefully your Black Friday is not as crazy as Paul Blart's. And we'll be back next month with our final commentary of 2025.
01:48:37
Zach Sheets
And head over to the site, we've got all your stuff there. We've got news, reviews, trailers, regular podcasts, lot stuff. Everything's action.com, check it out. And yeah, so for Chris, I'm Zach, and we will see you next time.