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Photographers, You Should be the NICEST Person on a Wedding Day
104 Plays1 year ago
Today, our own Beth Sweitzer gave us a PACKED crash course on what a successful photographer's mindset should be when showing up to photograph a wedding. It can be easy to go on autopilot or not give your very best, so today Beth shares about the lessons she has learned about how to show up to a wedding, and how no matter what, you should be ready to be kind, helpful, focused, and most importantly... FUN! Definitely check out today's episode for s short, but definitely sweet, gold mine from our favorite photographer.
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Transcript
Setting the Right Foundation at Weddings
00:00:00
Speaker
Years ago, at the beginning of my photography career, I saw a professional photographer say, I'll be the nicest person at your wedding. And I think that should 100% be the foundation of how a photographer shows up for a wedding day. To find out what I mean by that and to hear us chat all about how to show up properly for a wedding day, just keep listening.
00:00:19
Speaker
Welcome to the Art of Intention podcast with Beth and Ayla. Two best friends turn creative entrepreneurs. This is a place for us to discuss everything business friendships and faith and occasionally more. We're so excited for today's episode. We think you're going to love it. Stay tuned. All right, everyone. We are so glad to have you back here today. We're about to jump right into the episode.
Instagram Verification: Beneficial or Tacky?
00:00:44
Speaker
But first, let's go to community news.
00:00:47
Speaker
Okay, today I'm going to ask you guys about Instagram's blue check mark feature and the updates they made with that. We know everybody knows about this already, but I have a question for you guys. What do you think about the new format for it, about how people can pay for them now and anyone can have them? I thought it was a little off putting when I would see a blue check mark and then go check that person's profile and they had like a few hundred or a few thousand followers. It felt kind of dishonest.
00:01:11
Speaker
And so I didn't really like that, but I recently read that businesses should do them because it really helps with engagement, the algorithm with advertising. So I'm curious what everyone thinks about businesses having them. Is it tacky? Is it going to turn people off? Or do you think that it will help more than it hurts? And Ayla, do you have an opinion about this?
00:01:32
Speaker
gosh i don't know i i'm in the same boat as you like i've seen a few that have the little check mark and you go and they're just like some person or whatever like they're not even like influencing or anything like that so i'm like okay that's like kind of random like i definitely
00:01:48
Speaker
get that and I think it obviously makes sense for celebrities, bigger businesses. If you're big enough to where people are making copy accounts of you, obviously the blue check marks a good idea. I wouldn't get one for my personal because nothing important over there. That does intrigue me about businesses and advertising and how that would help them out.
The Role and Challenges of Wedding Photographers
00:02:13
Speaker
I wonder if there's almost an equation for this. This many followers equates to
00:02:19
Speaker
going for it like would you say okay I would say for the average person you absolutely need a certain amount of followers and I would say some kind of money you're making from Instagram whether it's you know having an Amazon storefront ads within your posts whatever I think a checkmark makes sense then like if you're kind of benefiting from Instagram and then if your business talking to photographers I guess because that's most of the people who listen that's kind of like who we who were really talking about
00:02:48
Speaker
I wonder if it would go with the up-leveling your business. Do you want to be a famous photographer? Are you making your way towards being that? Do you have the amount of followers to be a famous photographer? Then maybe start to go for that. But I think if you're just starting out and you're charging $500 for a wedding, I don't know if I would. And I don't know why. That's my initial thought, I guess.
00:03:10
Speaker
Yeah, interesting. Good thoughts. Yeah, I'm curious. So listeners, let us know your thoughts. Are you considering for yourself? Does it turn you off? Do you like it? Do you think it's just going to be another good tool? We want to hear your thoughts too. All right. Happy Tuesday friends. Today it's a wedding episode and this one is currently geared towards wedding photographers, videographers, and it comes to you from two ladies who have both been brides. One's a professional wedding photographer now. So
00:03:39
Speaker
We got the inspiration for this episode after Beth was talking about different ways that vendors, specifically photographers, actually show up on a wedding day and serve their clients. I asked Beth if she could break this down. How are you supposed to show up and serve? Let's get into it. Beth, what gave you the inspiration or really a kick in the pants to talk about this?
00:04:01
Speaker
Yeah. So like I said at the very beginning of this episode, I heard someone say that they, as the photographer will be the nicest person at the wedding. And that just struck me, and this was years ago, but it just struck me as so profound and important. Like I instantly knew that was like,
00:04:16
Speaker
That was it, you know? My whole life, I personally have gotten comments, you know, throughout my life just here and there about like some people saying, oh, I'm so nice. You know, they're saying that I'm a nice person, which I'm grateful that people thought that I appreciate that. And it encourages me to keeping nice.
00:04:32
Speaker
But as you do more and more weddings as a vendor, as a photographer, you realize how stressful they are for everyone involved. A lot of planning goes into it. Everyone is busy. There's so many moving parts. And even
Professionalism and Attitude in Photography
00:04:44
Speaker
the nicest people can often have a scowl on their face because they're just in work mode. Me.
00:04:50
Speaker
Well everybody and the difference that just one Smiling calm kind person can make is astounding at an event like that It's so easy for vendors to get caught up in work mode to get stressed or unhappy looking Especially someone like a photographer or videographer who is having to be on for 12 13 hour days non-stop thinking about so many different moving parts running around with gear But I have a personal goal for myself to be the nicest person at any wedding I work at
00:05:20
Speaker
And it's made a big difference in a lot of different ways. And I work with a lot of different photographers and videographers, so I know all the different attitudes that people approach weddings with and the strategies that they take. And so, yeah, I have my own opinions about the right and wrong way to show up for a wedding day. And I kind of wanted to, you know, do a little episode about that.
00:05:41
Speaker
Oh, I think that's perfect. And I love, I love that saying like you should be the nicest person on a wedding day. And I think a lot of what sparked this for me too was like, as another business owner who's on Instagram, and I follow lots of photography pages, like
00:05:56
Speaker
for my clients to see what people are talking about, whatever. And this is one I really know personally, but sometimes I've noticed a trend of like, I don't know if people are showing up to actual wedding days with this attitude, but they're definitely joking about it on their Instagram later, like, oh, like showing up to this wedding and you're tired and you're blah, blah, blah, or, or actually like,
00:06:14
Speaker
for the sake of a joke on reels, like making fun of somebody's family member or something like that. It's like, oh, when someone's creepy Uncle Bill talks to me at the wedding or when their cake flavor's gross or whatever. And it was just like, those people are paying you maybe like 1300 to 8,000 depending on your package dollars. And some of these, sorry, are high profile.
00:06:37
Speaker
expensive photographers that are later like how their wedding was weird I didn't really want to be there I didn't want to and I'm like really like oh if I found that out later on somebody I hired Instagram so it's not a guilt trip or anything like that but I just had I was asking Beth about it last week and I was like I think it'd be really good about an episode like how you show up
00:06:53
Speaker
for people that day. And number one, I agree with you 100% is you should be the nicest person of their day. Their day is not an inconvenience to you. It's literally the career that you chose. Like it's your, it's your job. And, and yeah, it just comes with part of the territory. A lot of the photographers I work for have told me like they're way more introverted, but they
00:07:11
Speaker
dig deep day of the wedding and they they bring it out they get it going you know and then you're home in your cave all day sunday or whatever so it's more than just being nice and happy we want to expand overall on how to prepare show up and act the whole process of a wedding day so for those of you just getting into weddings in the last few months or the last year or two that's going to share a lot of what you can expect on wedding days and uh she's amazing so i know it's going to be a gold mine so i don't know get notebooks out take notes i swear
00:07:40
Speaker
Just a reminder, we're not giving tips for how to photograph a wedding, like from a technical standpoint, but just share more general tips for what to expect at a wedding, how to prepare, all those things. So with that, let's start by sharing what someone can expect at a standard, all day, your general package wedding.
00:07:59
Speaker
Well, thank you for the hype, Ayla. I appreciate that always. But okay, yeah, right. So a pretty typical wedding, just to give you an idea of this, because when Ayla was talking about complaining about a wedding or complaining about something at the wedding, you got to know what to expect. You got to know what you're signing up for. So a pretty typical wedding is about age 10 hours long. I've done 15, 16 hour wedding days.
00:08:23
Speaker
and you can also do like two, three hour wedding days. But yeah, eight to 10 hours is very standard for a photographer and I'm sure for videographers as well, where they'll capture everything from getting ready photos through the dancing at the reception or a send off. During that time, there's often change of scenery from the getting ready location to an actual wedding venue. You're working with multiple vendors. I mean, we're talking caterer, florist, DJ, coordinator, venue manager, bridal party. And then of course you're working with like family of the bride, family of the groom, bride and groom themselves.
00:08:52
Speaker
And no matter how detailed of a timeline you get beforehand, it's a wedding. Anything can happen. That's like the point. I love saying the phrase, it's not a wedding if something doesn't go wrong, right? Because that's just how it is.
00:09:06
Speaker
Oh my gosh, yeah. Well, I know that almost every single wedding falls behind schedule. Chris and I's wedding, it didn't end up affecting it very much, but we started the ceremony 20 minutes later. First thing that you're supposed to start. Well, actually not the first thing. There's a billion things that happened before the ceremony, but it happens.
00:09:25
Speaker
Most weddings are going to fall behind schedule, which can, they can, it can go fine or it can lead to a whole host of problems depending on what they have planned. And you as the photographer have to be ready to roll with that. Emotionally, logistically, you have to be prepared for whatever conditions you have to photograph in.
00:09:44
Speaker
It's not your job to control the day, not at all. It's your job to document the day and to do that well. So you have to be ready to roll with whatever happens.
Adaptability in Wedding Services
00:09:52
Speaker
You may be an expert on weddings if you've been to a lot of them or worked out a lot of them, but you still don't know what will happen at this wedding in particular.
00:10:00
Speaker
You have to be ready at all times basically. Oh my gosh. It's a rain. You can't control the weather, you know? So many things exactly. Well, and yeah, just remember your role as a photographer. I photographed a wedding recently and the caterer got into a car accident on the way to the wedding. Oh my gosh. Oh, actually some backstory with this wedding. It was a beautiful day and one of the nicest couples ever, but they had their venue originally planned for something that likes a different venue, right?
00:10:27
Speaker
on a boat. I'll just be honest. Okay. It was on a boat. They were going to get married on a boat on a yacht two days before the wedding. She reaches out to me and she says, there's a problem with our boat. It needs to be fixed and it's not going to be out in time. So they didn't have a venue for their wedding. So they scrambled, found a beautiful, wonderful venue, worked amazing, threw everything together. Um, last minute, right? We get to that wedding. Morning is going great. Totally fine. Normal wedding day.
00:10:54
Speaker
The caterer gets into a car accident on the way to the wedding. She was okay. I believe like she's fine, but her car wasn't fine. Almost all the food was ruined. The cake was tossed around. So you just never know. And again, that's not, obviously the main concern is her and her car, but I'm saying you never know what can happen. Like you said at a wedding day and you just
00:11:14
Speaker
have to be on her toes the entire time. Oh, what happened? So she just like, I believe she just got rear ended, I think. And that was one of the reasons that all the food was, it was all in the back. And so of course that all got ruined because she was rear ended by somebody. Oh, so she, did they find food? That's what I meant. But also that like glad, glad it wasn't, you know, serious.
00:11:32
Speaker
No, she, she ended up, it ended up being, you know, late arriving and stuff, but she ended up, someone left to go meet her on the road. It's Hawaii, so it's small, you know, people, but people drove over to her, got the rescued food, got rescued the food and whatever they could, brought it back. And then she was taken care of, of course.
00:11:51
Speaker
And yeah, so they ended up having like a fifth of the food they were normally going to have and stuff. But anyways, so yeah, but the entire time you have to be on your toes listening to what's going on in the background in case it's something you should know, listening for someone to call your name, watching for little moments to photograph without missing the big moments either. And then there's the other philosophies that I subscribe to.
00:12:15
Speaker
I think it's always great. This is kind of like above and beyond, you know, so kind of how to show up on the wedding day. There's the things you should do. And then here's kind of like above and beyond. I think it's always great to check in with the bride and groom, make sure they have water, remind them to eat, rest in the air conditioning, you know,
00:12:31
Speaker
Have a minute to soak in the moment like remind them to take that minute to soak it in and then what we're talking about Always be smiling respond with respect when someone speaks to you the entire day your kindness and upbeat energy It just should never waver
00:12:47
Speaker
Oh, that's so nice. The amazing lady who shot Chris and I's wedding did pretty much that. She asked us at one point. Well, we made sure to have a moment alone and stuff. And then I told her about it. Basically, instead of a first look, we did 10 minutes right after the ceremony. She just whisked us right away so we could talk for a little bit.
00:13:08
Speaker
And then when we were ready to go take our photos, she checked, she was like, you know what, you sure? You could, no rush. Just little things like that was so nice to slow down the day. It really makes a huge difference. The day is so quick and stuff and having somebody actually check on you. Do you have water? Do you have this? I couldn't, that's so nice. Yeah.
00:13:27
Speaker
Along with that, there's ways that you can show up physically prepared to, besides the obvious gear stuff, like another level of professionalism above and beyond. Look professionally dressed, but of course you want to be comfortable. Comfortable shoes, comfortable backpack, you want to eliminate as many discomforts throughout the day as possible. It's easier to be happy around others when you're comfortable.
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah, of course. You know, I've met a couple photographers who just have no idea how tiring a wedding day is going to be. And I think another important way to prepare for a wedding day is not to schedule anything for the day after two so that you can recover.
00:14:01
Speaker
Oh, gosh, yeah. Busy season right now. I know some girls who are like double double header weddings. They're shooting on Saturday and Sunday. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, I go to one wedding as a guest. I'm there for half the day. And I'm like, whoo, that's enough for me. So props to you guys for doing that. But also make sure you're resting. Yeah, it's just you just got to do it the right way. So, Beth, OK, onto the theory now of how a photographer or a videographer should act on the wedding day.
00:14:29
Speaker
It should go without saying that it's not okay to be rude, obviously, but what's the definition of rude? Is it subjective? Like, can we talk about that a little bit? Well, exactly. I think that's actually kind of the whole problem with setting the standard at just don't be rude, especially if you're dealing with different cultures, you know, you're dealing with different families.
00:14:48
Speaker
Someone's definition of rude might be vastly different than yours and a neutral behavior on the part of you might be offensive to someone else. And that is exactly why I think the correct philosophy is to aim to be the nicest person at the wedding. If you're trying to be the most polite, then you're going to have your eyes and ears open for how to act around those families. You'll learn pretty fast simply by observing them what they see as polite and what their standard of kindness kind of is, you know.
00:15:14
Speaker
And if you're smiling and responsive, you know, and kind, you really, you can't go wrong. Oh, that's awesome. I wouldn't think of that. Oh my gosh.
00:15:24
Speaker
And overall, like as somebody who works a lot of weddings, you should be able to observe when a brighter groom is stressed and what you can do within your job, like to relieve that stress, offer to help, be a calm, smiling presence, reassure them that it's all going to be great. You watch them plan and get excited for months. So of course you want them to be happy on the big day and finally just enjoy it.
00:15:48
Speaker
As we tell you to be happy and to be a source of joy at the wedding, we also don't want you to cross the line to unprofessionalism. I think this is a super great point to not be too friendly or casual. There's definitely a line between being too friendly and buddy buddy with the wedding party.
00:16:04
Speaker
and the guests, and also being too uptight and strictly professional. A wedding is a celebration, so you have to be loose in some ways, and you're a human being at the end of the day, but you don't want to be so friendly that people maybe stop listening to you when you need a group to pay attention or that people chat with you and distract you from your job. I feel like that would probably be me if I was a photographer. I'd just sit down. I'd just be done. Oh my gosh. Well, people would love you though.
00:16:30
Speaker
But yeah, exactly. I mean, luckily I'd say though, luckily this line is somewhat of a gray area. I think there's wiggle room because every couple is different. Just know it's up to you to discover what kind of service that bride and groom want and also to be consistent with your advertising of the kind of photographer and videographer you are.
00:16:50
Speaker
If you're the kind that cuts up on the dance floor, you know, you best be advertising that you do that so you don't catch them off guard when you stop snapping photos and you're break dancing in the middle of the dance floor.
Conveying Professionalism Through Branding
00:17:00
Speaker
All right. Yeah. But I would also say that, you know, it's because they might consider it unprofessional and the waste of their money. But I would also say on the other hand, if you're going to be considered like a square and ruin the vibe, you know, like a small wedding, don't show up, you know, make sure maybe you show up with some dance energy, you know, so just,
00:17:18
Speaker
It's just good to be prepared, know how you're going to show up even just in your energy of the day. Sometimes you don't know until you walk into the wedding and you go, okay, this is the vibe. This is what they want. For me, it's what will make me stand out the least. If I am super stiff and it is a vibey, loose, everybody's family kind of wedding, then you got to be loose and whatever. Stick to your job. Your main job is photographing.
00:17:44
Speaker
But you don't want to be, stick out like a sore thumb and people are just kind of looking like, oh, that's just, just like an annoying, you know, presence. Yeah. If everyone's having a good time and you're like, family photos now. All right. We need to grow him in his dad. All right. Like, and everyone's just like, whoa, like we were having a good time. Not saying that that's never happened to me with a photographer. I'm just saying, you know, like it happens. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and also Beth, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like letting people know.
00:18:13
Speaker
how you show up to a wedding day comes in to like your socials and personal branding, like very likely somebody's booking you because of your socials, they might be scrolling a little bit. And yeah, exactly. There's no problem with like tearing it up at the dance floor at the end, you'll probably have a reel about that. Or if you think that photographers, I don't know, maybe shouldn't do that, you might have a reel of like, I'm a professional, I'm a this, and the people who want whatever you're putting out will find you, basically, and then they'll understand that, you know,
00:18:38
Speaker
It's a whole discussion about like personal branding and stuff, but that's a great area to, that's a great place to, to, to put that information out and let people know how you're going to be. And I, I mean, again, I'm not a photographer, but I'm sure like in your meetings, as you progress with the couple, you'll learn about each other and then yeah, you show up and once again, you're just, you're prepared for anything. Yeah. I would say that honest advertising is the first step in showing up well to a wedding because you want to make sure that you're all prepared in what's going to happen.
00:19:07
Speaker
And overall, kind of like I said at the beginning, yes, you want to show up because you've been alongside them with the planning and all of that. It comes both ways. It can become something personal with your couples. You want success for them on their wedding day. You want the best day for them. You've gone through this with them. You might become like a little mini family, but also on the professional end, it's transactional. They are paying you.
00:19:31
Speaker
for a huge service. And that carries into how you talk about them the wedding day after, how you advertise their wedding, you know, the photos you took of their wedding on your socials, everything like that, like you continue to show up before and after the entire ordeal. So you'll want to keep that in mind, not just day of two. Yeah, that's a really great point. Yeah, that I'm glad you mentioned that that also
00:19:52
Speaker
Yeah. Afterwards, you don't just wipe your hands and you're rid of them. You know, you speak nicely and kindly on your socials too. And you maintain that professional respect. And I've seen this kind of attitude turn bad days around. I mean, a wedding day, it can really, like I said, make a big difference. I've seen really stressed brides and members of the family be so calmed by me just being calm and repeatedly calm.
Long-term Success Through Kindness
00:20:19
Speaker
They can, things can keep going wrong.
00:20:20
Speaker
and I will be a rock of oh it's still it's going great you know like oh let's figure that out oh yeah that happens every wedding you know just kind of that absolute chill but still able to move fast because you also don't want to stress them out by you being such a slow slug if they're all rushed you don't dilly-dally you also rush but rush with a smile
00:20:40
Speaker
rush with kindness and rush with reassurance. Anyway, so being extremely nice and caring and attentive is an age-old business strategy. Obviously, people should just be nice in general and not fake nice, but in business, very often the most successful CEOs, entrepreneurs, company owners, they are very personable and friendly because it makes people want to work with you and want to refer you to others because when you refer someone,
00:21:06
Speaker
to somebody who's really nice. That person will kind of be like, wow, this person really knows a lot of nice people. You know, they must be nice. It's just, there's a whole psychology behind it. But, um, there's a little side thing. My grandfather was a very successful business owner. Well, businessman, I should say he owned like
00:21:22
Speaker
I think like seven insurance companies or something. He started, he built them from the ground up, very smart, very successful. But the stories that people told about him are really inspiring because it was always about how nice he was. He would remember little details about people and he would check in with them.
00:21:40
Speaker
He would ask his employees about how their mother's surgery went or how their families are, something they told him weeks ago and he remembered and he brought it up. Oftentimes, I think people think successful business owners have to be harsh and strict, but really, you need to be
00:21:57
Speaker
Kind and soft in so many ways and and that's what's gonna stick with people because but good business needs to stick around for the long haul you're gonna stick around people when when they Realize how much you care and their people are more something that my mom explained to me that she learned from her father's business was That people will care about you more when they see how much you care about them. Yeah
00:22:21
Speaker
Oh, that's amazing. That was such a great way to finish it off. And I love that too. I could, we should definitely do an episode in the future of like client care one-on-one and it would probably be parts because it's just, it's such an essential part of being a business owner. And I have so many thoughts on it about how business owners should show up. I have super big opinions on what you said about the harsh and strict and I'm a business person and I'm, I'm going to go out and I can't bother with the small things and blah, blah, blah. Like, whoo. Yeah.
00:22:49
Speaker
Give me an hour, I'll go off. But generally, absolutely what Beth said, this is back end and client facing. There's absolutely moments to hustle, to work efficiently, to not dilidality, to move forward, but kindness to your clients, kindness to your employees if you're somebody running that goes such a long way.
00:23:10
Speaker
I'm a huge advocate for, I do my very best to do the same in my business to check in if I've got a client who went on vacation. Oh, I hope you had a great holiday. Tell me about it. Just over email. Oh yeah, it was great. All those little things. You're surprised. Not everybody is doing that. I think it's so powerful. I think a lot of wedding photographers will understand that because you're hopefully meeting with your clients a couple of times.
00:23:35
Speaker
If you didn't know, you do now.
Engagement and Closing Remarks
00:23:37
Speaker
That's most likely a wrap for today, guys. We wanted to bring a short and sweet episode to share the concept of photographers aiming to be the nicest people at a wedding because we think it makes such a big difference in so many ways. It helps your business. If people like you a lot on the wedding day, they will share that experience with others.
00:23:55
Speaker
As always, you know where to find us. We are on Instagram at Art of Intention Podcast. We'd love for you to follow along there. We love, love engaging with you guys, hearing your thoughts on the show. So you'll definitely want to check us out there. And you know the drill. If you haven't already, be sure to follow us wherever you listen to podcasts so that you never miss a new episode and leave us a five star rating if you love what we do. We will see you all again next week. Bye. Bye.