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Are Your 20's Really For Wasting?
35 Plays6 months ago
Have you ever heard the popular phrase "your 20's are for wasting!" Or something similar? We've heard it a few times, a few different ways, and today we wanted to talk about that!
If you want to hear whether or not we agree with that statement, and what we think you should do in your 20's, spend the next 20 minutes with us!
If you have any questions, thoughts, or concerns, we'd love to hear from you on Instagram @artofintentionpocast, or via email: [email protected]
Don't forget to give this episode 5 stars, and subscribe wherever you listen, so that we can keep chatting with you each week!
Your hosts,
Beth and Ayla
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Transcript
Introduction to Life in Your 20s
00:00:00
Speaker
Recently, we had a concept come to mind that really, really just sparked something. Something important we wanted to talk about, so much so that Beth brought up this idea just a couple days ago, and here we are, sitting down, recording it right away so that we can just get it out there. So to start, no matter what age you are listening to this podcast, have you ever been told that your 20s are for wasting, to throw away, to mess up? Well, that mindset's really just been on our hearts this week, and we have thoughts.
Podcast Introduction: The Art of Intention
00:00:28
Speaker
Welcome to the Art of Intention podcast with Beth and Ayla. Two best friends turn creative entrepreneurs. This is a place for us to discuss everything business friendships and faith and occasionally more. We're so excited for today's episode. We think you're going to love it. Stay tuned.
The Mindset of Wasting Your 20s: Is it Dangerous?
00:00:50
Speaker
So I'm all for adventures, but to go as far as to say, your 20s are for wasting, I'm just gonna come right out the gate and say, that's dangerous. And my thought on that is that it's actually throwing away a really, really huge gift. I don't even think I need to really touch on the cliche saying that you never know how long you have and you never know, you know, maybe if you're,
00:01:16
Speaker
gonna pass away in your 20s, because I think that won't resonate with a lot of people who have this mindset. But I would like to say that I firmly believe more and more, I swear every minute, that time is such a big gift from God. And all of your time, your childhood, your teen years, your 20s, your 30s, your 40s, your 50s, and on, all of those are a gift from God. I don't think that he set aside any chunk of time to be like, you get to waste this. I mean, maybe childhood. It's not really wasting, but like, you know.
00:01:46
Speaker
But anyways, I don't think just saying like, oh, you never know how long you have left is going to resonate with people that I know who have this mindset or people I've met or things I've read. Um, I think they would be more, um, likely to respond to that with like, okay, great. Then I will have had fun.
00:02:02
Speaker
I'll die having fun. I think I even maybe had a little bit of that mindset in my early 20s.
Fears of the 30s: Why Waste Your 20s?
00:02:08
Speaker
I think what would have resonated best with me is something like, okay, yeah, you might be having fun, but what's your biggest fear for your 30s? Why are you having this mindset about your 20s?
00:02:19
Speaker
because I know it's something about your 30s, so what's your biggest fear for your 30s? Is it being trapped in a life that you hate? That's no fun. I think that's what a lot of people feel when they are saying like, your 20s are for just wasting, having fun partying. Guess what? If you make your 20s all fun and you waste it, you are going to hate your 30s.
00:02:39
Speaker
But if you just even try to slowly just kind of on the side, you know, build up responsibility, financial success, do something productive in your 20s, then your 30s can actually be just as fun. And I just don't think enough people talk about that. So a lot of young people don't realize that by running away from their biggest fear, they're actually
00:03:00
Speaker
A lot of people don't realize, a lot of young people, that by running away from their biggest fear, they aren't actually preventing it, they're guaranteeing it. Almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, but by accident.
00:03:11
Speaker
If they say, I want to have fun before I'm 30 because when I'm 30, life is all work and family and boring. Well, if you don't use your 20s to set up a better lifestyle, then yeah, you might have a life like that in your 30s.
Misinterpretations and Irresponsibility in the 20s
00:03:23
Speaker
So anyways, I don't think you should put so much pressure on yourself that if you don't have it all figured out in your 20s because you won't, then you're a failure.
00:03:30
Speaker
That isn't true. And I think, unfortunately, that's at the heart of many of the your 20s are for wasting quotes and mindsets. But I think the problem that we see is more and more young people are taking that so far, where it doesn't mean like, oh, just try new things. It's okay to fail, you know, but keep trying. But instead, they think it literally means like, waste your time in your 20s, like literally do nothing productive, lay around party, waste your money, have three cents in the bank account, like don't make decisions, like,
00:04:00
Speaker
don't be pursuing serious relationships, don't even try to get a job.
Balancing Fun and Responsibility in Your 20s
00:04:04
Speaker
If they just take it to a level I don't think it was necessarily intended for, have no backup plan, be irresponsible, that's what I'm seeing and that's what I really wanted to like. Let's talk about this real quick because something can sound really flowery and fun, but let's unpack this.
00:04:20
Speaker
Well, yeah, and that's what I was thinking when you initially brought it up of like the idea of wasting your 20s because you know, Beth, like I'm a you and I both are big believers and I'm a big believer. I said it on the podcast a couple of days ago of like travel when you can travel when you're young. I'm kind of okay if people work, save up their money and then like blow it a little bit to travel and like gain experiences.
00:04:41
Speaker
It's not to say that we're like, no, your 20 shouldn't be like fun at all. But what you just said, like just a second ago, I think sums it up perfectly is that the initial concept of like your 20s are for making mistakes, your 20s are for learning new things, and they are for
00:04:57
Speaker
trying new things, switching your major in college, switching your job, maybe falling down a little bit, trying this business idea that falls. I think that if they're calling that like wasting because then you're more figured out when you're 30, I don't necessarily have a problem with that, but I think you're right. People are taking that of like, oh, well, the twenties I can just
00:05:16
Speaker
do whatever. And like, I'm just out of high school, I don't know what's going on. So I'm just gonna like stay in my room with my parents and like play video games, negotiate if you still live with your parents in your 20s, the peace economy do be hard. But I'm just saying like, I think aspiration list is very dangerous. So even if you are
00:05:35
Speaker
in your 20s maybe, maybe living a more ruthless lifestyle that I miss so much but you know, you are traveling and you are gaining these new experiences I do believe in the back of your mind aspirations should always be there like hopefully you're just not running away from anything when you're doing that like hopefully you're not trying to escape anything or running away
00:05:53
Speaker
Even if your aspiration is like, I want to hit this many countries, I want to learn this many things, and I just want to like, I want to have adventures from 20 until
Goals and Aspirations: A Key to Enjoying the 20s
00:06:02
Speaker
30. I'm going to have adventures then at 30, this thing starts, even if that's your aspiration. I know your 401k bank account may not love that, but you know, I'm a big believer in that you're exchanging money for stories and there's time to build up those other things, if that makes sense. But I do think pretty much at all times, at all ages, and then your 20s especially,
00:06:24
Speaker
you should always have aspirations and goals.
00:06:30
Speaker
should always have like somewhere where you do like want to be and I think you're right Beth like if if you're so scared to get into your 30s because you're like ah man I'm gonna be married and have kids I don't have to pay this mortgage like but okay obviously that sounds like that's not what you want so what do you want like do you still want to be married but having fun okay what are the steps you can take in your 20s to make that happen like just always have a goal of where you want your life to be and what are the steps to get there and I know it's not always that easy I know we have goals and the world can make it pretty hard to get there but
00:06:58
Speaker
I don't know. I hope that makes sense. Like I kind of just like dropped like, I don't want this to sound like we're like, no, no fun in your twenties. Cause of course you should have fun and you're physically able to have fun, but don't take that as, Oh, just waste your twenties away and then try when you're 30. Yeah. I think exactly. I think that what people need to remind themselves of is adventures and saving money. Don't have to be mutually exclusive.
00:07:20
Speaker
Adventures in responsibility aren't mutually exclusive. And you were kind of saying this, you're like, I'm okay with people spending their money, maybe even quote unquote wasting it, although it's not wasting it if it's because you want to be having this enriching lifestyle. But again, just remember that social media isn't everything. And you shouldn't be
00:07:37
Speaker
Literally spending your last penny if you don't know where your next pennies coming from and you don't know exactly how much is coming So yeah, if you want to spend 99% of your what's in your bank account on a certain adventure, okay, but let's be responsible one Maybe you shouldn't but again, I'm not gonna judge or tell you
00:07:54
Speaker
what to do but um but there's also the option of maybe not spending all of it or know first where your next amount of money is going to come from yeah i just don't think people have had a chance to step back and realize one the people were seeing adventure on social media might not be truly spending their last time like we think
00:08:12
Speaker
uh might not you know they probably they often have a lot of like online jobs or side jobs but also they haven't especially when we're so young people can't always think towards the future of like this is really not setting me up in the way i want to be set up i want to keep adventuring and if i just you know invested or saved 500 a month or
00:08:29
Speaker
heck, $50 a month, you know, just anything you can, then I'll be able to keep living this kind of adventurous lifestyle for longer. And it's so hard and it seems so daunting, I think, to pursue financial independence and responsibility. It seems boring to a lot of people, but I just want to encourage people listening that it can be as simple as saying, I'm going to take $20 a month and put it in a savings account and it doesn't get touched. Like it don't get touched.
00:08:59
Speaker
Or going I'm never again going to spend 100% of what's my main count on a flight or whatever or you know Just like just some of those like slower thing better choices.
Entrepreneurial Freedom vs. Traditional 9-to-5
00:09:11
Speaker
Yeah, and I also think I I've been really
00:09:14
Speaker
soaking up this concept for like a month, because, you know, I can be very like pessimistic towards the nine to five, like, work style, I've always been a big believer in like, we were never meant to just like pay bills and die. And I still believe that. But I think, again, the internet's taken that to this huge, like, you know, the the van lifestyle is a big thing. And
00:09:34
Speaker
our generation is very entrepreneurial in the sense of like I don't want to work a nine-to-five I want to do this job where I work 20 hours a week so that I can spend the rest of my time doing whatever I want to do go on hikes read like whatever it's not always so like physical and adventurous but you know I think that's a big goal for people now is to not work so much and like have a van life and go have these adventures but but I've started coming across these accounts that are like I
00:09:59
Speaker
my nine to five actually funds the lifestyle I want to have. And I think we've forgotten that a nine to five can work for you in that way. Cause let's be honest, it brings stability. Um, and I, I kind of take this with a grain of salt, but I kind of don't always believe that the career you have has to be like the job you love. Like I don't believe you have to just be in love with your job 100% of the time. I hope it's not soul sucking and awful, but if you have a job that you tolerate,
00:10:28
Speaker
that you get to work every day and maybe some aspects of it aren't great but generally not a lot of complaints you'll go do it to fund what happens after five o'clock every day and what happens on your saturday sunday like i see so many families where both parents work nine to five but then on the weekends
00:10:44
Speaker
they're able to fund, and they've got backpacking equipment for all their kids, and they go have an adventure, or they work enough to take this many vacations throughout the year, and they're like, we actually go hard at our jobs every day to fund this other lifestyle we have. And we do travel, and it's just as fulfilling. I think people, exactly like you said, Beth, think work and fun can't be mutually exclusive, but it's like you could use this steady income to build up that financial freedom, like you were saying. Be responsible with it, get a bank account going, all this stuff that sounds boring, but then,
00:11:15
Speaker
you're in control of so many other pockets of time in your life where you can go have those adventures. Like Chris's boss takes his family on vacation like twice a year. He loves travel. And so he's like, I'm dedicating this amount of funds that I have twice. And I know not everyone like has the finances for that, but I'm just saying like, I don't know. You might actually, you might actually perfectly well have the finances for that. But just manage your money better. But you eat out every single night. Exactly. Yes.
00:11:44
Speaker
And you know, I know money is super hard and everyone's situation is different. But maybe you want to have be able to take your family on vacation twice a year. And I'm saying they go to like Aruba and they go to like New York, like they go these fun places because they like trying new places. And he has taken the steps to make his money able to do that for him. Like maybe they cut down. I mean, I don't know the man's entire money situation. But yeah, of course, that's valuable to his and his
00:12:09
Speaker
him and his family so they make it happen and it doesn't mean you have to quit your job and Scoop up your family and go have this crazy adventure like you can have the adventures and that sorry I kind of like a trailed away from the in your 20s thing But just to encourage like people in your 20s like yeah You might be this free spirit and have drive for adventure, but it doesn't yeah like work can fund that for you It doesn't mean that you have to be like I've got six hundred dollars Where am I gonna go and we'll see what happens next like
Career Path Commitment: Overcoming Fear of Wrong Choices
00:12:34
Speaker
right? Well, yeah exactly. That's a great point and
00:12:38
Speaker
Yeah, I like that. And I want to address something else too that kind of I think goes along with this that I see a lot. And that's like the mindset of or the phrases of like, I want to be, I just want to be 100% sure before I choose. Usually referring to a career path or I want God to tell me what to do first. Like I don't want to, which in and of itself is not bad, but the concept of saying, I'm not going to choose to do anything because I'm not sure. And I don't feel like God has like audibly spoke, spoken to me and said, this is exactly what you're going to do and how you're going to do it.
00:13:11
Speaker
I'm going to try to explain this the best I can, my thoughts on this, or summarize it. I actually have a book I'm going to recommend at the end of this. Even if you choose to do something that you don't think is your forever purpose or something that you're going to love, and you were kind of touching on this too, Ayla.
00:13:29
Speaker
I think it's important to just do something, okay? Absolutely. You're not always going to have a voice in your head or crack open your Bible and it says, you are meant to be a blank, like, no, you know, and you're not always going to be sure because a lot of things like something else that's interesting, I think a lot of really young people and it could be every generation or maybe it's more so with our generation and the younger ones,
00:13:52
Speaker
are like excited to pursue a career path or maybe a college degree and they get into it and they're like wow I thought I'd love this but man there's this this and this I don't like about it so I'm done so it's not for me and it's like no any career you choose any job you choose there's going to be things you don't like even Ayla and I have talked about in the entrepreneur world there are things that we don't like we love the freedom
00:14:10
Speaker
We love the actual work itself, but we don't like the taxes. We don't like the back end stuff. We don't like having to be confrontational, maybe with conflicts or whatever. We don't like having all necessarily all the burden and the stress on us alone or, you know, so you have to at some point decide, just do something. And we've been saying to, it can be travel. It can be missions. It can be a nine to five. It can be, you know, maybe your masters that you're pursuing or your doctorate.
00:14:40
Speaker
The point is it's very dangerous for you to say I just want to be so sure before I choose or well that's it's that's for my to figure out in my 30s. My 20s are just for having fun. You are not going to get the result you think if you wait to figure stuff out till
Taking Initiative: Action Over Waiting
00:14:58
Speaker
your 30s.
00:14:58
Speaker
It doesn't mean you're gonna 100% figure it out in your 20s, but just do something, if that makes sense. Oh, 100%. Chris and I talked about that when we have a family, when they grow up, when they turn 18 and stuff. You have to do something. You can live in our house, but you have to work, or you have to be doing something with church, or even, yeah, if you want to travel, but you have to be working towards something, like waking up and then going and sitting in the living room all day.
00:15:26
Speaker
Every day isn't an option, you know, because that that just I think oh man, that could be a whole discussion in and of itself but like not Activating your brain with something or having a goal and quite literally just sitting there for too long can be so dangerous It just keeps you right you see in your own head too much and yeah, and I don't want to like again I don't want to because I know we said like travels okay, too but I also do think that a lot of people who have this mindset are like
00:15:53
Speaker
They're not just sitting around on the couch. They are out partying constantly or traveling and have absolutely zero responsibility with their money. So I do also want to push back against that. Like when we say travel is okay too, or maybe missions, I'm going to be honest. My mindset is travel with a purpose.
00:16:09
Speaker
It's not just trying. I know that some people's view and I do kind of have this view too. Like sometimes traveling is the purpose, but if you're doing it to the point with this mindset where you're, you don't have money left in your bank account after you feel like you can't hold down a job maybe or.
00:16:24
Speaker
It's just too, you know, if there's no responsibility behind it, then at the end of the day you're doing more harm than good. So it doesn't always look like you're sitting around and sometimes something that could be good in some context like traveling can be bad if you have this mindset behind it. So just to drive that home too.
00:16:40
Speaker
Yeah, totally. I would definitely agree. Yeah. Yeah. And real quick, that book that I promised to talk about, there's a really great book and it's very short, it's very small. So someone like me could read it, but it's called Just Do Something. So that's kind of where I get this phrase from.
00:16:55
Speaker
a liberating approach to finding God's will. And it's by Kevin DeYoung. It's on Amazon for like just a few dollars, I think. It's really good. It was a book that was given to me years ago, again, when I was kind of struggling with like, well, I want to do so many things. So like, you're just kind of stuck and discouraged. You don't do anything. And it's a book that really encourages you to like, just pick something and how to find God's will for you through just doing something.
00:17:26
Speaker
It's a great book, by the way. It's very skinny, very small. It's actually a great book you could buy if you're not in your 20s anymore, but you know some people in their 20s and you want to have this on hand. You could probably buy five or six copies or something and then pass them out or a great one to maybe tell your church about so your church can have them in their youth group, survival studies. It's a great book. I'm sure there are other great ones too.
00:17:50
Speaker
Well, and with with that, I also want to encourage anyone who says like the what you said, Beth, about like, well, I just don't want to commit to anything or I haven't heard from God or I just don't want to start something. Do you know almost every person I talk to who is 60 and up, do you know how many freaking jobs they've had in the course of their life? Like, oh, my gosh, you talk to any
00:18:09
Speaker
buddy almost over the age of 60. And they'll say like, Oh, yeah, I went to school for this thing. And then I had this job. And then I took a massive career shift here. My one of my big brothers, we talked a while ago when he I think he had hit his mid 30s. And I was just like, Oh my gosh, that we're all growing up so fast. This is so crazy.
00:18:27
Speaker
He said he, I think about this all the time because I'm turning 27 this year, barf, but I'm getting closer to that time. But back when we were talking, he said he was like, man, being 30 has been so great. He's like, my body is still in good shape. My body can still do all the things I want it to do. My mind is still sharp, and I'm less stupid. He's like, I know more about what's going on. He's like, I just know more things. I know how to get through the day better. I know how to handle my money better.
00:18:56
Speaker
I think, yeah, because people can get so like, oh, 30s at the beginning of getting old, which just cracks me up. But yeah.
00:19:03
Speaker
Like, I look forward to that time where I do know a bit more about the world. And of course, no one ever knows anything. You talk to 70-year-olds who are like, I'm still figuring it out. Like, I still don't know what I'm doing. But you're just a little bit wiser every day. You do know how to pay off your credit card better. You do know how to apply for an apartment. You are a little bit more independent. But your body is still keeping up with you. Your mind is still sharp. Like, I think it just has potential to be this really great crime. And also, my brother, he
00:19:33
Speaker
had so many jobs in high school, you know, like the high school jobs you
Embracing Change: Career and Life Variety
00:19:36
Speaker
have. And then he started a tree removal service. And then that actually got him into real estate, believe it or not. And he did that for a couple years. And then he's moved again. And Chris's grandpa has like, I've been a farmer and I've worked at this warehouse and I've started this business like life is short, but it's also
00:19:54
Speaker
full of different chapters and seasons and I went to school with so many kids who changed majors and sure maybe it's a little scary and it costs them some money but just don't be afraid like your life is changes so incredibly inevitable I never thought I'd be owning my own business right now and I know I'm not gonna own my own business forever like I know I'm not just destined to edit other people's photos for
00:20:14
Speaker
the rest of my life you know i know there's other things probably coming i don't know what they are but just like right don't be afraid to embrace like basically yeah like what bet said just do something and through that you might learn something else like i started as an art major in school halfway through founded i love psychology changed my major you know like yeah just do something because like you can be so inspired by everything around you and it might change your mind and that's and doesn't mean you made the wrong choice or anything it's just a part of the journey well right like i got so
00:20:43
Speaker
Not cliche. I love that. I think it's important reminders and it's good to, like you said, just do something and don't be afraid of the change. I would say try to choose something and stick with it, even if it's not perfect, because again, I think where a lot of people get lost is being too flighty with this mindset, but know that it might change and that's okay. But try to stick with something, even when it gets hard, even when maybe you don't love it fully.
00:21:11
Speaker
Because you're you might switch and find out the other thing. You don't love fully either. But again knowing that change might be might happen Shouldn't make you not want to start in your 20s and that's kind of like yeah that might see so much like well They don't want to start cuz it's like well, I'm gonna change it. Anyways, like no, well, first of all, try not to change it. How about that? And then you basically you still want to be in high school for ten years of your life Yes, I think what we're seeing is like
00:21:38
Speaker
I'll do the grown-up stuff when I'm 30 and it's just like it's so empowering to start as much as you can as soon as
Responsibility and Planning for the Future
00:21:44
Speaker
you can. It doesn't mean you have to be boring but just like the more independence you can kind of gather sets you up for a lot I guess. Yes it kind of reminds me of that like random phrase everyone always says like never put off till tomorrow what you can do today because like if you
00:21:58
Speaker
kind of waste too much of your twenties, then you're not going to like having to figure all this out in your thirties. And there's some quotes we want to share, um, that Ayla and I think maybe are better than just, Oh, your twenties are for wasting. So, and the first one actually, this perfectly fits into what we're saying. Um, if you commit most of your time and energy to your body purpose and money in your twenties, you'll have most of your time and energy for the rest of your life to do whatever you want. So just kind of what we were saying.
00:22:27
Speaker
The other one that we thought of was your 20s are not for partying and wasting time, they are for learning, building and growing. 30 comes fast. Right. I've also heard it said of like, you actually grind it out in your 20s and have fun in your 30s. So yeah, yeah. Yeah, a different kind of fun than like the partying and stuff that we're telling you not to do. But you know, grind it out in your 20s for fun in your 30s.
00:22:52
Speaker
Yes, exactly. Like your 20s are so essential for setting up the rest of your life and you won't always get it right, but it doesn't mean doesn't try, but that doesn't mean don't try and you can still have adventures. But man, you really might regret how the rest of your life looks if you don't get serious about some stuff in your 20s. Okay.
00:23:10
Speaker
Anyway, so let's summarize this. So what are your 20s for then?
Growth and Foundations in Your 20s
00:23:15
Speaker
They're for learning. They're for growing. You can't grow without trying. So that's why we say just try things. They're for getting super healthy, I think. Oh, we had a fitness episode and we had our guest Emily Funk on and she talked about how your growth, what is it? Your density of your bones? Your bone density stops forming at 30. So you have up until 30 years old.
00:23:35
Speaker
to get your bones as strong as you want them for the rest of your life. They're never going to, they're rarely going to be getting better after 30. So they're forgetting that your twenties are forgetting super healthy. Um, they're for serving others while you still have time and the physical ability to do it. Trying new things, getting responsible with money doesn't mean getting rich necessarily awesome if you can, but you know, just
00:23:55
Speaker
means developing good habits so that when you do make money, you don't waste it. Your 20s are for developing your own relationship with God and figuring out your political and religious beliefs, overcoming shyness, and yes, the age-old saying, discovering who you are, you should always be trying to do that.
00:24:12
Speaker
But yeah, who you are and what you're called to do with your life will shift over time. What you feel called to do may change like Ayla was saying. So you won't figure all out in your 20s, but you can figure out what your 20s are for. So that's the best I can say. Ooh, fricking fire at the end there. Love it. And I want to say too, we keep saying like your 20s are to figure it out. I hope you know that's 10 years, 20 to 30. That's 10 years you guys. So don't feel pressured if you're 21 being like, oh my gosh, what am I doing?
00:24:42
Speaker
Heck yeah. 10 years, 10 years. You got this.
Listener Engagement and Feedback
00:24:45
Speaker
If you guys enjoyed listening to us talk about this today, just unique rapid fire, a bit of passion that we just wanted to serve you today. Follow along for more because we just, we're too passionate people with a lot of thoughts. So if you ever have an idea for an episode, something like this that you want to just like talk about,
00:25:03
Speaker
Get out. We want to hear it. You can email us your idea or email us a guest request at Art of Intention podcast at gmail.com or contact us on Instagram at Art of Intention podcast. Yes, indeed. And just a reminder, every Tuesday is when we drop our new episodes. So tune in on Spotify, Apple podcast, or Zencaster. Subscribe, leave us that review, and we are excited to chat with you next time. Bye.