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Little Life Lessons
50 Plays1 year ago
Get ready for our most fun (and definitely most chaotic) episode yet. We sat down this week with the intention of sharing a few of our favorite life lessons we've picked up in life so far. We expected to think up maybe 5-6 each, but once we sat to write them down, the inspiration started flowing, and we ended up thinking of lesson after lesson that has impacted us individually over the course of our lives, and we almost couldn't wait to sit down and record them. We share the funny lessons, the hard ones, the lessons for the entrepreneurs and for the married folks, we pull from the Bible, and we pull from our own experiences. That's really all there is to it today, so get cozy and come hang out with us while we rapid fire through what we think are the most important lessons we have learned in life so far. When you're done with this episode, head to our instagram, and drop 1 or 2 or 10 of YOUR best life advice in the comments! We want to hear from you, and keep the conversation going!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/artofintentionpodcast/
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Transcript
Reflecting on Life Lessons
00:00:00
Speaker
Have you ever sat down and thought about what you have learned about life so far? Really, think about it. If someone asked you to share some life lessons that you've learned over the course of your life so far, what would you answer? Well, we asked ourselves this question recently and something really sparked, so we both felt really inspired to sit down and record what we came up with.
00:00:20
Speaker
We're definitely still young and have so much to learn, but I think it's safe to say that we, and probably lots of you out there, have learned a lot over the years. And we think it's beyond important to reflect on that sometimes and really put into words, maybe even write down what life has taught us so far. Life is full of lessons every day. And as you know, we strive to live life with as much intention as possible.
00:00:42
Speaker
You get out of life what you put into it, and if you let these little lessons fly by, you might miss them or forget them when you could be holding on to them and learning from them.
Inviting Listener Participation
00:00:51
Speaker
So we're sitting down with you today in a candid, only slightly planned episode to share our favorite lessons we've learned in life so far. And honestly, selfishly, like Beth said, it's important to document the things that you learn about life. So this episode is just kind of like a little audio diary for us to follow.
00:01:07
Speaker
from business to friendship to marriage to our relationship with God. Really, no topic is off limits today, so you are formally invited to come hang out with us and just talk about our favorite life lessons so far. Welcome to the Art of Intention podcast with Beth and Ayla. Two best friends turn creative entrepreneurs. This is a place for us to discuss everything business, friendships, and faith, and occasionally more. We're so excited for today's episode. We think you're going to love it. Stay tuned.
Casual Sharing of Life Lessons
00:01:39
Speaker
Okay folks, we have a lot of ground to cover, so we're just gonna go for it. We're gonna be bouncing off each other, alternating, whatever. So if you need to pause, maybe write something down, that's very much encouraged. And it's extra encouraged to download this episode so you have it for later. Alright!
00:01:54
Speaker
Let's just hop right into it. And some of these are going to be a little bit like we came up with little phrases and ways to summarize them. And some of them we're just going to list off. We'll see how it goes. The first one, this one is big.
Personal Stories and Hard Work
00:02:07
Speaker
All right. For me, I've learned this really hardcore. I haven't read any of yours, so I'm excited.
00:02:12
Speaker
Okay, for me, like when we asked what life lessons have we learned, this was immediate, like so immediate. Hard work will pay off. Sounds so cheesy, right? It sounds like something your parents would tell you when you're a little kid doing yard work. No, no, I learned this in college. Like, oh my gosh, I repeatedly have learned these life lessons of like, if there's something that's difficult, and I just have to work really hard at it, no matter how unpleasant it is, it's going to pay off.
00:02:36
Speaker
The first time I felt like I learned this was when I was applying to colleges and I applied to a bunch of colleges, got into quite a few, and the one I really needed to go to, the one that Chad was going to and I needed to follow him to whatever college he was going to go to, rejected me. They put me on the wait list. I don't even know if I was wait listed. They might have just said no.
00:02:56
Speaker
And so I wouldn't take no for an answer and I could have just been like, oh man, that's a bummer. But instead I spent like two days writing a appeal letter, which you can write an appeal letter and send it in and they won't ever care. But if you want to write a really good one and be guaranteed to get in, like it was a lot of work.
00:03:14
Speaker
And then I had to figure out where to submit it, and I had to do it by a certain deadline, and it was just chaotic. It was so much work, and I don't know. I don't remember why it was so difficult, but it was really difficult. Anyways, I submitted it, and I literally just got accepted. And they're like, okay, sure. We'd love to have you. And I just remember being like, while I was writing it, I was in tears. This was so difficult. I was so worried. I was like, why am I even doing this? What's the point? What's a letter gonna do? And as soon as I got accepted, I was like,
00:03:43
Speaker
Holy cow.
00:03:45
Speaker
Like that's the difference. There are 90% of kids who won't do that. And just because I went through the hard step of doing it, it paid off so big time. And then a lot of things like that have happened to me in life where I'm like, I took the harder route and whoa, the difference it makes is huge. So it seems so cheesy, but I'm telling you hard work will always pay off. So it's so cool. Yeah, that's awesome. And that puts so much power in your hands too. Like you don't always, sometimes the answer is no, but it doesn't always have to
Self-Criticism vs. External Criticism
00:04:14
Speaker
be. And like you'd be surprised that
00:04:16
Speaker
what you can change that's crazy okay mine again i have so many that came to mind but the very first thing on my list is nobody is picking you apart as much as you pick yourself apart we're our own worst enemy and nobody knows the lens that you view yourself through if someone is picking you apart then they're just probably not a very good person to be around
00:04:36
Speaker
So you literally don't have to worry what other people think about you. Yeah, you can sit there and worry that you look this way or whatever. First off, nobody else is probably thinking of that about you. And then if they are and they're like, Oh, her clothes are this or she acts like this, then you don't need them around. Gosh, thank you. Such a good one. Everyone can use that reminder sometimes. Okay, here
Can-Do Mindset and Success
00:04:55
Speaker
we go.
00:04:55
Speaker
So next one for me I loved this I kind of had this concept for a while but then here's the best summary of it that I ever heard don't ever ask can we do it always ask how can we do it I don't remember the story like like behind where I heard that but basically
00:05:15
Speaker
it's kind of avoiding the limiting mindset and I really love this and I try to remind people of this all the time. I'm very much an outside of the box thinker and like if we need to figure out a task of something or if something looks not possible, I'm never ever the one to say, oh, it looks like we can't do it. I'm like, okay, no, let's try a different way. Let's try a different way. Let's try a different way. And that's just a really great way to be successful. And I've heard people say a lot that like really successful people have the mindset of not, can it be done? How can it be done?
00:05:42
Speaker
That's crazy. I think I'm such a can it be done person. Hmm. That's a good one to think about like, I'm pretty quick to be like, what's stopping me? No, there's always a way. What what will stop me inevitably so that I don't even bother is like, I think so it's interesting to be like, what can I do so that this doesn't stop me? Yeah.
00:06:02
Speaker
Yeah, it's kind of the nothing, I guess another thing I could have said is nothing is impossible, but that's kind of too ambiguous. This is the specifics of how to make that true. I truly believe that nothing's impossible. Like I genuinely, maybe I'm just like way too optimistic or naive. I genuinely think, like you could not put a problem in front of me where I'm not like, we'll find a way. Are you kidding me? We'll find a way. So. That's crazy. Oh my gosh.
Travel and Experiences in Your 20s
00:06:23
Speaker
Cool. Okay. My next, we're about to, I'm like I said, I didn't read anything you were going to say. So this is about to be wisdom abounding.
00:06:31
Speaker
we're just so smart um oh my gosh okay my next one i think i can already tell i think yours okay prediction i think yours are gonna be super helpful for the entrepreneur and like business wise and mine are very like enjoy your life are they more like spiritual too i think yours are gonna be more later on thank you later on she said
00:06:58
Speaker
I think you're gonna be right. I think that's probably an accurate prediction. Okay, so my second one is travel when you can as much as you can. Don't be afraid to be that person who's quote unquote throwing away your early 20s by traveling. In my opinion, that's probably the best way you can spend them. When you travel, you're exchanging money for stories.
00:07:17
Speaker
Money comes and goes, but your experiences and stories can last generations. They can last beyond when you're gone. Think about that. The story, especially if you're going and doing something like you're volunteering or you're helping do something, you're doing a project somewhere else or teaching English or something, what you're going to learn and the experiences you're going to get may be passed down. But even if they're not, even if you just go on a vacation for fun and travel as much as you can, and you're just having fun living your life, you're going to have amazing stories.
00:07:47
Speaker
that no job or money could ever give you. Yes. Oh, I love that one. Killing it right out the gate. That's fire. I definitely would say I learned that life lesson too. And I'm surprised. I didn't write that down. What is wrong with me? That's why I'm glad we're both doing this because I feel like we thought of different things. Yeah. 100%. Okay. So my next one actually, because you said that, I think my next one is actually, oh, kind of almost reminds me of that. So it's, you can have it all, but not all at once.
00:08:14
Speaker
And this is something that I actually heard somebody, a family
Life's Wants in Steps
00:08:19
Speaker
member say. And I was like, that's so cool because I'm the kind of person who's like, you can, cause like I just said, nothing's impossible. So I'm like, you can have everything. You can do whatever you want. And it's like, I get discouraged when something isn't working out. So I like that mindset. You can have it all. Your life can look like whatever you want. Maybe just not all at once. Maybe it's in steps and maybe you can't be the traveler at the same time that you're like, um, you know, the CEO of a company. Like maybe you can't do both or maybe you can't have your family while you're doing the,
00:08:44
Speaker
whatever. You can have all that, but maybe they just go in order instead of all at once.
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah, it might be multiple different chapters instead of all at the same time because your life, it's short, but it's also long. There's people who switch jobs and careers and our parents and then their kids move away and they travel like all in the same lifetime. Yeah. Cool. So I have a lot of marriage ones in here
Understanding Marital Conflicts
00:09:04
Speaker
too. So we're not categorizing these, you guys. So have fun. This is just as wild. My next one is learn how you and your spouse argue.
00:09:15
Speaker
Learning what the other does in a moment of stress or anger better prepares you to set aside your pride and work the problem out. This is the number one when kids who are a bit younger than me are getting married or engaged and they ask you know like oh you have marriage advice. I still have so much to gain Chris and I have many years to go. The first one I give them is learn how you and your spouse argue
00:09:36
Speaker
This could be another episode that I want to have Chris and Chad on for, but there are specific arguing styles that everybody does. Do you isolate during a disagreement and is your significant other confrontational? You need to learn your arguing styles and honor them in order to get past your problem. That's a good one. I like that. Very true. Another one for me, you're going to get whiplash over here in the mind because that has nothing to do with that.
00:10:04
Speaker
Um, so for me, the next one is the answer is probably not simple.
Real Solutions vs. Simple Answers
00:10:08
Speaker
Uh, so basically don't go looking for the simple solution instead attempt to learn the real solution, the real answer. And I don't know that just applies to a lot of things. I think about that every once in a while that like, uh, sometimes if you sure search for, uh, the quick answer, you're going to end up being really frustrated versus if you kind of go, okay, I'm just going to sit down and try to figure out the real answer. Uh, do my due diligence. Um, yeah. So if you have a problem and like, I need to find the answer, assume it's not going to be simple.
00:10:35
Speaker
Yeah, my next one's short and sweet.
Biblical Lessons on Worry
00:10:38
Speaker
Don't worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow, we'll worry about itself. Ah, how lovely. Yeah, that's from the Bible. But I'm, I'm a, I've said this before, I'm like a big worrier. And that's like a huge thing I need to work on. Sometimes it's legitimate, like an actual
00:10:53
Speaker
Sometimes worry in the moment is a good thing. It helps you be concerned. It helps you find a good solution. But worrying about stuff that's out of your control or stuff that's not even going to happen for a while does nothing. And the Bible tells us over and over to not worry for that exact reason. So that's something I have to tell myself all the time.
00:11:08
Speaker
Love it. Always a great reminder. And sometimes something that people, that is something you have to learn in life. And because the more times you let yourself not worry, the more you realize you can, you'll survive not worry. Like you'll find more comfort.
Climbing the Social Ladder
00:11:22
Speaker
Okay. Next one. This one, I try to think of like a catchy way to phrase it.
00:11:26
Speaker
So I said, play the game or toe the cart and hear me out. So basically, if you want to climb the social or social media ladder, you have to be willing to play the game, the game, like the game, you know what I mean? If you don't want to play the game, then work really hard at fewer, more significant
00:11:46
Speaker
like maybe life pursuits or relationships like yeah does that make sense so basically like a lot of people go oh i'd love to be famous or i'd love to like be the most popular or this well the price of that is that it's all like a big game it's kind of like a big mind game there's a lot of like
00:12:01
Speaker
Just a lot of crap that goes on with trying to climb the social ladder, I would say. And, um, if you want to do that, that's fine, but you're going to have to play their games and not everybody wants to do that. You don't have to do that, but that means you're going to then be working hard to have a different type of lifestyle. So if that makes sense. Or if you want to be different, then that's going to be hard work.
00:12:25
Speaker
Yeah, also. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, it's such a niche little random thing. But guess what? That's something that I've learned in my life. It's just a little, little something that a little tidbit. Yeah, I like it. I like that one.
Money as a Tool
00:12:38
Speaker
My next one is money is only a tool. It is not your love. It is not your purpose. It should not control you. It's a tool that can assist you and help you. But the amount that you get does not determine your worth.
00:12:51
Speaker
Oh, amazing. So good. Self-explanatory. Phenomenal. Amazing. So good. Okay. Rolling right along. Next one for me is ambitions slash dreams equal motivation.
Supporting Ambitious People
00:13:05
Speaker
Basically, don't squash the dream or you'll squash the dreamer. This is for people who are really ambitious, like if you have a friend or family member who's ambitious.
00:13:12
Speaker
I would say the quickest way to make an ambitious person depressed is to tell them they are dreaming too big. Conversely, the quickest way to help an ambitious person become successful is to tell them to keep dreaming bigger. Even if it seems unrealistic to you, that's how you help a person who is ambitious become successful is to tell them to keep doing things that you would think are unattainable.
00:13:36
Speaker
That's how they found their motivation. Yeah, absolutely. It used to go bigger. They're like, okay. And I totally get that too. You and I are both very ambitious people and I want 100% get that. It's probably out of the goodness of other people's hearts. But when they say like, oh, is that realistic? Do you think you can do that? You're like, oh, nevermind. Screw me then. You know? Yeah. Never telling you anything again.
00:13:55
Speaker
Yeah, even if maybe they're correct, it still is all about like how you go about it. But like it's the realest versus the dreamers, I think. Yeah, exactly. And it's just everything's kind of connected with dreamers, I think. So even if you are squishing one dream, if you kill the motivation in that, they're going to have damaged motivation in other areas. And that's very dangerous because how
00:14:18
Speaker
uh, ambitious dreamers are productive in society is they have to have their motivation. And so if you want the new productive members of this, of society, you have to let them dream and you have to help them dream. So there's that. Yeah. Well, and if everyone who was ever ambitious ever listened to people who crushed that, we wouldn't have things like Amazon or Apple or anything like that, or electricity. Yeah. Or books like so many, like all the people who ever did anything, we're probably told they shouldn't do it. So yeah, there you go.
00:14:46
Speaker
My next one is so not serious. We got so serious. I love this. If you get
Importance of Sunlight and Air
00:14:58
Speaker
one of those deep down painful zits, stop.
00:15:03
Speaker
If you know the sits that are so under your skin and they hurt so bad, do not pick and scratch at them until they bleed. Just don't actually breathe. Just leave it alone, I promise. You will end up with a much worse, much more noticeable, nearly open wound on your face.
00:15:24
Speaker
That really didn't need to be there. Eventually it will heal. Eventually the big wound you've created will heal. You'll be like, man, that was terrible. There was something on my face for so long. But then you'll get another's it and you're going to repeat the cycle. So I'm here to tell you right now, if you have
00:15:40
Speaker
any zits like the deep down ones are like the the gnarly buggers but if you have any zits like just take care of it once don't sit there and pick it because it's gonna open up it's gonna look way worse and people are gonna notice it more and probably ask you about it so just don't do it i'm telling you right now you there's someone out there who has no one don't do it just leave it alone
00:16:00
Speaker
Why is that the best advice we're going to give today? That's just straight facts. So true. I did it last week. That's why I'm talking about it, right? Oh my gosh. That is so funny. Yeah, but it's true though. Like you're not supposed to make it bleed at all. And again, if you are popping your zits and they're bleeding every time you're doing it wrong. So just that little thing in there, just so you know, like you shouldn't bleed. Okay. Anyways, moving on. So I was going to say something very deep for the next one, but I feel like we need to ease back in. So I'm going to choose a different one. Okay.
00:16:30
Speaker
Okay, so if you struggle with self-worth ask God to show you how he sees you or like ask God like pray and say God show me through your show Me how you see me through your eyes and that just is something that helped me with my self-worth Yeah, amazing super good practice to do and I'd say I feel like I have I think I have something similar that kind of expands. Oh, I do. I'll wait. Okay. Okay. All right
00:17:00
Speaker
You need sunlight on your skin.
00:17:05
Speaker
Breathing in fresh air and getting sunlight may not solve all of your problems, but it definitely won't create any new ones. I mean, they're sunburned, but other than that, even though that's not that big of a deal. That's temporary. I think a lot of people dismiss the power of being outside in sunlight, getting on your skin. And they're like, well, that's not going to make me better. Well, it's not going to make you worse. So just start doing it, because it's very important.
Ambition and Social Influence
00:17:28
Speaker
And you never know what little changes you're going to start to notice the more you get your body outside in the sunlight. So that's so true.
00:17:34
Speaker
Yeah, just try it. Just try it. Don't believe us. Just try it. Okay. Um, my next one is kind of similar to when I said a couple of minutes ago, and it says people who have less ambition than you do not get to tell you what to do. And, Oh, love it. That's kind of it. I just, that's a big lesson I've learned. And, um, yeah, period. There you go. Moving on. I can get Spicer with it, but then tell them to do what you're doing. Yeah.
00:18:03
Speaker
I can't do it. You try. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Find friendships worth keeping.
Friendships and Self-Expression
00:18:10
Speaker
Who are the people that make you laugh? Who you can talk about the deep stuff to? Who you can be your truest, most authentic self without judgment? Those are the people to keep around, to make it sound super nice. Find the people who feel like sunshine. Find friendships worth keeping. Oh, I love that. That's a really important one. Because listen, I've heard
00:18:33
Speaker
not to sound mean, it can happen with men too but I think it's really common in women's circles to be around people that you might not like very much and who don't like you very much but your friends out of school or work or something so you all just hang out with each other if you find yourself constantly drained from the people you're around or feeling anger towards them or whatever like they though it's not a friendship we're keeping so keep the ones
00:18:57
Speaker
stay around the people who are worth keeping basically. Oh, true. And guess what? You're going to learn that eventually in life. So just start it now. Okay. My next one is good things can be distractions too.
Distractions in Spiritual Life
00:19:11
Speaker
So I, or kind of the concept of too much of a good thing.
00:19:13
Speaker
Um, this one actually, uh, I kind of apply this to like spiritual life mostly actually surprisingly, but also in like relationships with my husband, for example, like fishing too much fishing is great. It's a great hobby. It's very healthy, but like if you fish too much, then our relationship is going to suffer. Or if I'm too wrapped up in my job, you know, like that's too much of a.
00:19:31
Speaker
of a good thing. You know, it's good to work hard. It's good to be devoted to my work, but too much of a good thing. And even in, I know I said like in spiritual life, so just really quickly. So if you guys have ever read the screw tape letters, CS Lewis talks about that a little bit, how you can have really good things that distract you from your relationship with God.
00:19:48
Speaker
So again, same things like work, or maybe if you have a hobby that you love so much, but if it ends up cutting into time you should be spending with God, or maybe not pulling you towards God, it's maybe a good thing in and of itself, but if you're doing it too much, there you go.
00:20:03
Speaker
I love that one. I need to get that book so bad. Like, yeah, you'll love it. Okay, my next one. This is actually a really big one for me.
Reacting to Hurt and Criticism
00:20:14
Speaker
Be slow to react when somebody hurts you or hurts your feelings. Instead of igniting and shouting in their face, like say somebody really like we were talking about tears you down.
00:20:24
Speaker
about your job says, you know, something that really just like hurts about your worth, your job, whatever. Instead of igniting and shouting in their face, ask them to explain themselves. Why do they think that? What made them say that? Make them justify the hurtful thing that they just said to you. Oftentimes they can't back up their statement and it will really make them second guess why they even ever said that about you.
00:20:48
Speaker
I'm trying to think of an example kind of where it utilizes because it's quite an intense emotion to feel so I'm not saying I'm just constantly like challenging people but one specific time that I can think of was uh regarding my job like photo editing and just the time it took during busy season and I was basically just told at some point that like you know I'm busy during busy season it's longer hours than you would work at a normal job we've talked about this being an entrepreneur doesn't always mean nine to five um
00:21:18
Speaker
and it's also only for like five months out of my life so whatever but it was basically just told my business structure must not be very good if I'm working these long hours and I said oh like what do you mean oh well like it's not good because you shouldn't be working that much well how come
00:21:36
Speaker
Like, why is that a bad thing? Like, I don't mind the longer hours during that time. I make good money during busy season. So I'm not really sure why that's a problem. Well, you just should be working Saturdays. Why? Who told you that? It'll stop pretty quickly. And they'll suddenly be like, oh, maybe that was a not necessary thing to say. So you don't even have to be that argumentative. But instead of reacting, being like, I know my business. You don't get to tell me that you're just, oh, interesting. What makes you say that?
00:22:03
Speaker
and the power of just really listening to why they had to say that. Sometimes they can explain themselves and sometimes it just stops. Oh my gosh. Dude, I love that. I love it. It's not just slow to anger. You're like, here's an actionable way to put that to use. Dude, I was soaking that in. I love that.
00:22:18
Speaker
Okay, so cool. All right, so here's a little random one.
Moderation in Self-Improvement
00:22:24
Speaker
When changing something about yourself, be careful not to overcorrect. So for example, if you are really shy, I'll use myself as an example. Sometimes if you're like, I got to not be shy anymore, you can overcorrect and then become kind of like a careless or unashamed, almost like obnoxious person.
00:22:39
Speaker
You still have to have, I think, respect in public. I think shame has its place. You just want to make sure that if you're making a personality shift for whatever reason, don't overcorrect. If you feel like there's something about yourself you need to fix, just work on that in a reasonable way. You don't need to become a completely opposite type of person.
00:22:57
Speaker
Right. Right. Like if you, like you and I could fall under the workaholic level, but then sometimes during my slow season, because I was a workaholic all the busy season during slow, I'll be like, nothing. I'm not doing anything. And that's no good either. Like balance. Totally. I love that. Okay. This one is going to sound interesting. Okay.
00:23:17
Speaker
Not all the time, but generally women are much less likely to try new things than
Gender Differences in Job Applications
00:23:23
Speaker
men. Specifically regarding work. Again, this could totally vary case by case, but generally say there's a job description and you go look at it like a woman looks at it and a man looks at it. And if the woman looks at it and it requires all of these things that she doesn't have or doesn't have experience in or has never really dabbled in, she's more likely to walk away and go pick a different job. Whereas a man will look at it and be like, I don't know, I could try.
00:23:46
Speaker
I could wing it. I've never done any of that stuff, but I'll, I'll give it a try. Chris is very much like that. He's taken on jobs he's never done before. And it's just like, I don't know. I'll give it a go and learn something completely new. Whereas I'm much more likely to stay in a field. I've already done the hard work of learning and already know.
00:24:02
Speaker
And I think that's something to learn not to make women feel like, oh, you're less likely to try this or do any things like that. We just said, you're an ambitious person. I feel like you're not quite like that, but it's more so just to know that about yourself. If you know that you're less likely to put yourself out there and try new things, if that's something you want to work on, especially if you're a woman, then no, it's probably natural for you to feel that way.
00:24:22
Speaker
but also for men to feel the opposite and just kind of go for it more. So that might be a struggle in your marriage or with male coworkers or whatever. If you just generally know that you might fall under that basket, then maybe that's a good time to know that about yourself, take that in, and then change it if you want to. But it means putting yourself out there and trying something new, which can be hard.
00:24:45
Speaker
Yeah. So interesting. Okay. Interesting. Interesting. Love that. Okay. If you want an idea to work, you have to commit 100%.
Commitment to Ideas
00:24:53
Speaker
And so basically dive in headfirst. It's the halfhearted effort that causes something to fail, not the idea itself. Bad ideas have been made very successful through consistent marketing and commitment. So if you have an idea, you can't just go, oh, let me try it. You have to commit. If you really want it to work, you have to dive in fully. That's the secret.
00:25:14
Speaker
Love it. That's amazing. Another shift. The Bible. The Bible says certain things for a reason.
00:25:24
Speaker
We are not above anything that Jesus tells us in the Bible, even if it's something you don't like.
Adhering to Challenging Teachings
00:25:30
Speaker
I'm not saying everyone's perfect, but you don't get to pick and choose what you do and don't want to do. For example, the Bible tells us many times to pray for our leaders. You don't like your president or prime minister. Guess what? It's in the Bible. You still have to pray for them, even if you don't always understand why. And this could be like a whole friggin sermon. It's okay to ask God why and to pursue the topics you struggle with a bit more, but it's all in there.
00:25:53
Speaker
for a reason whether or not you like it, I guess. There's one, our pastor talked about it the other day, he talked about what do your neighbors think of you if like a ministry team was about to like wanted to invite you on to be a part of their team and they asked their neighbors, like your neighbors, how you interact with them.
00:26:13
Speaker
would it be like, oh yeah, they're super kind and they faked me a meal once or it's like, oh yeah, they scowled at me actually in the hallway or whatever. That was a big one for me. Cause I'll never talk to my neighbors. I'm like super shy about that. But it's like, oh, I have a big passion for ministry. And if someone asked how I behaved to the people around them, it might be that I try not to talk to them too much and write just like a convicting thing that I wish wasn't true, but it's in there. So wow.
00:26:39
Speaker
That's good. That's a good one to remember, especially because it literally applies to everything in life. So that's really important. I'll go with another spiritual one too. So the closer you pull yourself to God, the harder Satan will try to push you away.
Challenges of Spiritual Pursuit
00:26:52
Speaker
And so I kind of have learned that this will look like
00:26:56
Speaker
You may notice that more things go wrong in your life when you're actively trying to pursue God. Like when you're trying to be super regular about church, super regular about praying, super regular about just really intentional things with your relationship with God. Because Satan wants the easy way
00:27:13
Speaker
to be stopping doing that stuff. So he wants the easy way for you to abandon God. He wants life to look easier if you just, you don't need to do all this. It's fine. So that's a huge lesson I've learned. I actually feel that pretty strongly. I notice big time since college that if Chad and I go a spell where we don't maybe go to church regularly, which hasn't happened for a while, but when we start going again, we argue almost every morning on the way to church.
00:27:42
Speaker
And we like, just little things go wrong. I feel like it's just, everything's more difficult. Life's just more difficult when we start trying to pursue God again. And it's little things that I think are spiritual battles. Oh, absolutely. I have dreams very often. Like the more I start to like read my Bible at home, especially stuff that's harder for me to do, like read my Bible at home and have like a prayer time at home. And the more stuff I start to do that, I'll get like nightmares and stuff. And then generally just be like angry and irritable. Like that's a super weird thing.
00:28:11
Speaker
and on the flip side i would say i didn't write this down but i would say you may be in spiritual warfare if you go to pursue god and something else starts looking too good like i've heard stories from a guy who uh he went through the same missions program i did signed up
00:28:28
Speaker
getting ready to go. And then a girl he'd really liked for a long time finally texted him. She'd never done it before. He was going to leave in a couple weeks and she started texting him. And then this job that he really wanted that was never a possibility reached out to him. And all these things that if you stay, life seems to be pretty good. We've got a friend of ours possibly interested in jumping into missions and ministry. And I told him, I was like, if you go to leave somewhere to deepen your relationship with God, be prepared for things at home to start looking real good for a job promotion.
00:28:58
Speaker
for a girl for like whatever it is to also distract you. So things might get really bad, but things also might get too good. That's so good. And at the same time, what can also happen again, another life lesson with this is this also goes with my, if you want something to work, you have to dive in a hundred percent and hard work will pay off just because something then is starting to look difficult. Don't give up. So like if that person is looking that you can't do it,
00:29:23
Speaker
Exactly. Like if that same person, like if that same scenario, like pretend that scenario is happening, if life's looking really good and then, oh, something went wrong with the application or, you know, something is a little bit different. Do not take that as a sign to not do it. Really think about the context. Do you think it's a good thing that you're pursuing? Is it going to draw you closer to God? Did you think God told you to do it? Then that's the way you're supposed to go hard or not difficult or not. So in fact, Christian walk might set you up for a lot of difficulty that you have to get through, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't be doing it. Love that.
00:29:53
Speaker
Love all of that. Amazing. All right. We'll just keep it on the same train, same kind of track. If you don't know why you believe what you believe, you will fall for anything.
Relationships and Spiritual Growth
00:30:02
Speaker
Kind of self-explanatory. You just got to know the reasons for why you believe what you believe. Mostly with faith, but politics too. Yeah, absolutely. Be able to stand your ground somewhat at least.
00:30:13
Speaker
If not the best you can. When it comes to dating, ask yourself, this is kind of just what we were talking about. Ask yourself if the person you're falling for brings you closer to God or pulls you away.
00:30:25
Speaker
It may really hurt and be really hard because love goggles are a real thing and love emotions are so intense and crazy. But if the answer is that they pull you away, it needs to end immediately. Period. Full stop. I'm not even kidding. Like this one hurts, but it's true. If this, if it's a person who not only like, and it's one thing to be like, do they pull you away from God or are they neutral? That's a difficult conversation. But in my opinion, neutral will be pulling you away from God.
00:30:54
Speaker
So if they're not kind of right on your level with your love for the Lord and your passion for being a Christian and like having this lifestyle, if they don't match that in a certain way, then they're likely to pull you away from it. So just think about that. But I'd say if they're very light and like pulling you away, like
00:31:11
Speaker
I don't know what that looks like in your life. You miss church to be with them, or you miss this to be with them, or you start thinking about this a different way, or you start engaging in this thing that you never would have normally done. It hurts, but it needs to end because God has somebody much more ideal out there for you. This will definitely have to be an episode one day. I could talk about this a lot because it's super important.
00:31:33
Speaker
And a lesson I'd live it out. So it's a real one. I was about to say, please remember, you guys, these are life lessons that we're sharing that we learned. Not just like, oh, I read that in a book somewhere. This is like, no, these are what we learned, what we've been through, kind of like through the School of Hard Knocks. This is how we know these things. So if it's something we're saying today, it's because we think it's the most important thing that we've learned in life. It's sat with us. We have been changed by it. So yeah, that's a good one.
00:32:02
Speaker
Yeah, and it's because we care too. It's not just like here's rules or whatever. It's because we care about you, the Lord cares about you, and it's always for the best for you. It's not like we want to take away your fun. It's because you go through it and come out the other end wishing you had never done it.
00:32:17
Speaker
Exactly. We know it's easier said than done, but okay. So we've done there. We've done, we've been there, done that easier said than done, but we've done it. Okay. Here's an interesting one.
Expressing Love to Parents
00:32:26
Speaker
You are what you consume. And I think Ayla and I probably would both agree on this prior life lesson for both of us, but yeah, you are what you consume. Music, foods, TV, friends, education is a big one or your schooling, um, events, whatever you immerse yourself in, whatever you're consuming. I promise you it's changing who you are. I promise. There you go. Yeah.
00:32:47
Speaker
amazing. So true. Hug your parents and tell them that you love them. No parents on earth are without fault. But if they're good people and they love you, they probably made so many sacrifices you never knew about and always wanted the very best for you. Even if maybe they didn't always go about it the most perfect way. Tell them thank you. Tell them you love them. This may sound morbid, but you are most likely going to outlive your parents and you may wish you told them those things one day.
00:33:13
Speaker
So just go tell them no. Yeah, there's never a bad time to do it. I'd say if you live far away, send them a text right now. Why not? It's not going to hurt you and it might make their day. Give them a call. That's even better. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Okay. My next one is if the crowd suddenly is all for it, I will suddenly be suspicious of it.
Skepticism Towards Narratives
00:33:34
Speaker
This is kind of into the conspiracy theory realm, but I won't go deep into it.
00:33:39
Speaker
But basically, I think that social programming is very real and one of my big red flags and warning flags is if all of a sudden society is very all pushing something, all for it, giving a really strong message about something, especially in the age of social media. I'm like, okay, so what is happening here then? Why? I just get suspicious of it. You and I are the exact same. Anytime something big blows up in the media, I'm like, hmm, interesting. Yes, yes, exactly.
00:34:04
Speaker
Okay next up I have ask God's advice for the little things and I love this one. I learned this a couple years ago when I was in an art school but it can apply to so much. Ask his advice for the smallest things and when I say small I mean do you paint? Ask him what colors to use or ask him what you should even paint one day. Do you need a gift for your husband or your wife? Ask God what you should give them.
00:34:27
Speaker
Not sure what to do with a day off? Ask what you should do. I do this all the time with art. I actually like talked about a ton when I'm painting and stuff about like, how should I do this? Where should I put this? Like art questions that I would ask a fellow artist. I just ask him. It might be hard at first, but learn his voice and involve him in the little parts of your day. It may be hard to hear him at first, like I said, but I promise after some practice, you'll begin to hear him and love his advice. He's a father, an artist, a musician, a builder, a friend.
00:34:56
Speaker
He has got the best advice literally out of everybody in the world. He knows everything and he loves you and wants to be a part of your day. So just try it. Just like in the smallest thing, we'll show you for breakfast. I'm going on a walk, which direction should I go left or right?
Guidance in Everyday Decisions
00:35:11
Speaker
And just see what happens. It's so fun. Like seriously, it's so fun. I love that. That's so cool. Okay, that's really cool.
00:35:20
Speaker
Yeah, you were right. I went like a spiritual and like happy. I actually put more spiritual things in mine too I guess than I thought because I had a couple. It's good that we just have a lot of different categories here. That's why this is going to be random you guys. That's just what this is today. Okay, my next one is really short and so random. Learn to lie but don't ever do it.
00:35:40
Speaker
so basically it's so random and I have way too many reasons why so I won't go really into it but like I actually think it's very important to know how to effectively lie I think it's also very important to know how to identify lies and other people but I think that being honest is very important and I think that we should strive to never lie and strive to be very honest and
00:36:04
Speaker
Whether or not people know how to identify lies, people can also sense if you're just a very honest person. And people like to do business with people who are honest, and people like to be friends with people who are honest, and it's just good to be able to be honest, but I think it's important to know how to effectively lie and identify lies. So random, but there you go.
00:36:21
Speaker
That's like Jordan Peterson when he says it's mostly directed to men, but when he talks about like, you should be a monster, but you should know how to control it. Oh, okay. It's super intense, sorry. But it's like, when he's talking mostly to like young men that he speaks to, but he says like, when it comes to fighting, and being prepared to defend yourself, and protect yourself, you should know how to do that. But then you're not just an angry person, like doing all that, like you should know how to become that when it comes to protecting your family, but then you have it under
00:36:52
Speaker
This one is, it's okay to let go of routine during times of intense change.
Coping with Major Life Changes
00:36:59
Speaker
So for me, it's really hard for me to maintain routine when I'm moving or traveling or something like that. And I tend to get so mad that I didn't make it to the gym this day or I didn't eat very well this day. But it's normal for things like you're eating, exercise, cleaning and self care routines to shift during times of change, like moving, changing jobs, suffering a loss, whatever.
00:37:11
Speaker
control. Oh, I agree.
00:37:22
Speaker
Don't beat yourself up for losing your routine. Do what you need to do. Deal with what you're dealing with and then be ready to just pick it back up and keep going. Oh, I love that. That's so good. That's definitely a lesson I think a lot of people maybe haven't learned or it's hard to experience it while you're learning it. So I think that's good to tell somebody in advance. So my next one is if you surround yourself with people who settle, you will settle.
00:37:46
Speaker
And this can apply to pretty much any category, but I spent some time around people who are kind of afraid to do things or who, I don't know, just, yeah, it's just different. And I'm not bashing people who aren't ambitious, but I'm saying that if you are an ambitious person, then you need to be around people or at least really be learning about people who do crazy things in life. There's like the Johnny Kims of the world and David Goggins, Julia Child.
00:38:12
Speaker
people who have had like multiple careers and done so much with their life and just like nothing stops them kind of people. Even if you may not like those people, if you are the kind of person who wants to go far in life and do lots of crazy things, then you can still learn from their lessons if that makes sense. Yeah. Ooh, I like that. You owe others the same amount of forgiveness as God has given you. You've been forgiven much, so you need to forgive much. Yeah.
Forgiveness in Relationships
00:38:40
Speaker
Like, I don't know, especially when someone's
00:38:43
Speaker
coming out of bad times and starting maybe a new walk with the Lord or whatever, just trying to be better. It's not really your place to sit there and point out everything wrong that they've done.
00:38:52
Speaker
because at one point God could have done that to you, but He didn't. He forgave you. And it's in the word too, to forgive much because He's been forgiven much. Love it. That's a really good one. If you want adventures that other people have, you have to be willing to do what other people do. So be brave, take risks, be spontaneous. If you can't, then don't expect what those people have. So random. But I just have
00:39:16
Speaker
Yeah. This is specific because I've actually talked to some people who are like, oh, they love certain adventures or travels or things that people do. And then they are literally not willing to do anything adventurous or like everything kind of makes them scared or they're not willing to do anything. And it's like, well, then be realistic with yourself. You're not going to have a very adventurous life if you're not willing to do these things that people are doing.
00:39:40
Speaker
It's so great. Yeah. Just decide if that's the life you do actually want or if something else is maybe better for you. Yeah. Or if you need to get over that, like fear. So, but yeah.
00:39:50
Speaker
When you get married, you separate from your family to then go and create your own. The two become one flesh. You are obligated to the needs of your new family now.
Prioritizing New Family
00:40:01
Speaker
You still love and honor your immediate family, you know, your friends, your siblings, but you're not bound how they think you should be. You're creating your own family now. Like it's all good to reach out to your family for advice and for help and stuff. But
00:40:14
Speaker
This isn't my situation. So this is kind of one where I'm kind of like outwardly forming this opinion. But if you've got a family, say, you know, your man, you've married a beautiful wife, you're doing all good. And you've got a family who's questioning every life choice you do, who's telling you where they think you should live, what you should do, remind them that you
00:40:33
Speaker
You are to become one flesh and you're your own household and family. And actually the two become one flesh first. Before that says this is why a husband will leave his family and go marry his wife for the two become one flesh. So you're becoming your own thing. And if you feel like it's hard to break away,
00:40:48
Speaker
from stuff that you don't want to carry in your marriage. It will be hard, but that's, that's what you do. It's your own family now. Oh my gosh. Thank you for that amazing one. That is so good. And I think a lot of people might miss that one sometimes. Um, yeah, cause that applies to the person who's doing it. Like the people are getting married and I think sometimes the family members need to be reminded of that too.
00:41:09
Speaker
That's really great. They're doing their own little thing now. Exactly. Okay, so it doesn't matter how smart you are. What matters is your determination and willpower, which I actually, yeah, I love this one because a lot of people think like, oh, I can't do that.
Willpower Over Intelligence
00:41:27
Speaker
Like this subject in school or whatever, because I'm not smart enough. And the people who are going to succeed are actually people of all different intelligence levels. It's the, what really determines it is how
00:41:37
Speaker
your willpower is and if you're determined to do the task so that's perfect i was so insecure about like being smart in high school like that was all i ever wanted to be in like
00:41:48
Speaker
worried I wasn't. That was a huge insecurity of mine. And not to sit here and be like, no, I'm not smart, but I still succeeded. I know I'm smart in different areas, but smart's competency, being competent was a huge insecurity of mine, but that's so real too. Just because not everything clicks for you right away doesn't mean you can't be successful, but you definitely have to have willpower.
00:42:08
Speaker
Yeah, I think another way of putting it too is the the hard working lower IQ person will beat out the really smart lazy person every time.
00:42:19
Speaker
yeah yes yes amazing okay be careful to not create and establish arguments in your own mind if you have a problem with a friend or a boss and you start to feel resentment towards them pause and think about if you've ever told them how you're feeling you'd be surprised how easy it is to get mad that your husband leaves his clothes on the ground or this co-worker doesn't do this thing right but you never actually told them that that that bothers you
00:42:47
Speaker
wow this can happen in the workplace a lot where people build resentment towards somebody who maybe doesn't do something right but they've never actually told them that it's wrong and it's crazy you wouldn't think it happens but it does so
00:42:57
Speaker
Don't create the argument in your head, get it out into the
Addressing Partner Issues Directly
00:43:00
Speaker
air first. That's so good. That's a good one. That's a good one. Okay. Another one for me. If you want to feel better about yourself, compliment a stranger today. Sometimes I had a down day and nothing feels better than when I'm in a grocery store and I tell someone like, Oh, I love your outfit. And then they just kind of light up. Like that feels so good. Yes. I love it.
00:43:20
Speaker
This one's kind of similar to my last one. I got on a train here, but I was gonna say avoid, but I'm gonna double sound and say do not ever engage in toxic humor against your spouse or a person you're dating. Again, if you have not told them about an issue or problem within your relationship, you have no permission to go talk to friends and even family about it first. If something is bothering you, you talk to them first, the person you're with.
00:43:49
Speaker
first and get the problem out into the air. If you can't solve it between the two of you, then you can go and ask for outside help and advice while still talking about it in a way that respects the person that you're with. I've been in situations with certain friends where the husband start the husband, the subject starts to come to husband bashing. And maybe I'll think of something
00:44:11
Speaker
that Chris has maybe done that bothers me, but it's like, well, I guess I've never told him that that bothers me. So I'm not going to sit here and rant about it. That's not honoring to him that he doesn't even know that that bothers me. And just general, the toxic humor like, oh, he doesn't do this. Oh, he doesn't do this. It's just like Beth said, you kind of, you are what you take in and your words have power. And also the people around you who may not see the person you're with every single day, get all their information about them based off what you tell them.
00:44:40
Speaker
That's a really big one. So it may be normal for you to go to your mom and be like, oh, this and this and this. Well, now your mom has some resentment towards the person you married that you didn't even mean to cause. So. So good, dude. That's so true. That's so good. I love that one. Oh my gosh. I feel weird bouncing around in such a random time. Deep like that. I'm like, oh.
00:45:02
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, we're really switching gears again here again. Like you said, I'm talking more entrepreneurial and business. Cool. I love it. Go for it. Okay. So, uh, I have found this to be actually more true. The older I get, I heard it my whole life and I think it's actually very true. I learned this more every day. It's not what you know, it's who, you know, especially in the business world. It's really true. Like I,
00:45:24
Speaker
I meet some people who are so successful just because they make friends and they meet people and when they go to like a you know some kind of conference they meet a bunch of people and just a couple of those people give them opportunities and all of a sudden it's like their life is in a completely different place a month later because they met some people who knew some other people.
Networking vs. Knowledge
00:45:43
Speaker
then I have just learned that so much and you can have someone who is an expert at what they do, but they never go out and make connections. It's not what you know, it's who you know. That's just if you really want to succeed, go far, change your life, meet people, talk to people, take opportunities. It's really just about who you know.
00:46:03
Speaker
absolutely like so much of climbing the corporate ladder for lack of a better word is is knowing people and being willing to talk and put yourself out there and actually my next piece goes perfectly with this so we're back on track when you enter a new job
00:46:19
Speaker
Your only aspiration should be to do your very best every day and strive to be the best worker
Work Ethic and Opportunities
00:46:26
Speaker
there. I don't care if you're a janitor, food service worker, lawyer, receptionist, doctor, you do everything first to glorify God and the career he's given you and to be a good worker and have good work ethic.
00:46:38
Speaker
you never know how far that can get you, Beth. Like you said, knowing people, there are quite literally stories of someone who starts at a janitor and makes it to CEO because he did the very best and work ethic goes a long way. I've toot my own horn here. I've landed nearly every job I've applied for because I know I'm a good worker and people can tell that about you. And
00:47:00
Speaker
You might feel silly sometimes maybe being at a food service job where not everyone wants to do their best because maybe it's a dead end, not very good job. I understand that, but still.
00:47:09
Speaker
clean up the extra mess when nobody else is. If somebody has to go home sick, stay late a day or two, do a good job with what's in front of you. Because people will notice that the last building that Chris and I rented from, it was a disaster of a company building, whatever. The main lady who helped us get our suite was so kind, so nice, so organized, was such a good worker. And we actually left a review.
00:47:35
Speaker
for the place saying here's the problems but this lady deserves a good job like never know who out there might say like they're great I can tell they're a hard worker like give them better opportunities you just oh my gosh never know like I'm huge on work ethic so yeah when you enter a new job do your best every day because you never know who's watching it can either help you grow
00:47:56
Speaker
And it's just best to stand out from the crowd when it comes to that. Yes, exactly. And then you're also building a habit. If you work hard and even the smallest jobs that you think don't matter, then you're going to be able to work hard as the jobs get a little more important and you have a little more weight on your shoulders with them. And like you said, we're kind of back on this train. So another one, this one's super short. Ready? Success means doing the work.
00:48:18
Speaker
That's all. I think that the definition of success is just you did all the work you needed to do. You did the work. And if you want success, do the work. Just do the work. Success is doing the work. That's all. Amazing. Okay. I'm going back to something you said. You said this towards the beginning, Beth.
00:48:36
Speaker
When you said like ask God how he sees you, mine is ask God what you're good at. Ask him actually and really look into what you loved as a child and ask him like how he made you as a child. If you loved animals, space, building, drawing, singing, chances are he made you like that for a reason. How we are as children is such an un...
00:48:57
Speaker
were so uninfluenced by the world and how we're told to be. So what were you like back then? And just talk to them about it because you were probably like that for a reason. That's a good one. That's a good one. If you need to sell a product, you need to sell yourself. People like people, not products.
00:49:15
Speaker
That's all. You're such an entrepreneur, Beth. Stop. Don't worry, I have some other ones coming up I promise. It's so good though. It's just crazy. It's so funny how different... I mean, I had some business ones too, but it's so cool the different things we've come up with.
00:49:34
Speaker
the different ways, because we've learned so many of these. Even as you read some stuff off, I'm like, oh yeah, I definitely learned that lesson too. But when someone says, hey, write down the biggest life lessons you've learned, what our mind gravitates towards and what's really pulls on our heart every day. It's so interesting to hear this. I love this art. Yeah. Anyways. This one's a huge hobby.
00:49:56
Speaker
they are all they're all here so let's be real but pray a prayer of thankfulness on the days you're angry so often i go to god to tell them about how angry i am or i have a question about something or whatever you'd be surprised at how quick your anger melts away once you ask god to reveal things to be thankful for counter blessings for lack of a better word every time i start a prayer of thankfulness i physically write down what i'm thankful for and
00:50:21
Speaker
I end up writing fours all along. It takes up pages every time. I just start with, okay, I'm thankful for food every night. I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for a roof over my head, and I'm thankful for where I live, and I'm thankful, and then it just goes. It goes, and then it's like, I'm thankful for the way my mom raised me. I'm thankful for my best friend, Beth, and I'm thankful that I had this job, and I'm thankful for this one thing that happened. It just goes and goes, and sometimes you can't stop.
00:50:49
Speaker
this whatever you were angry about doesn't really matter anymore oh my gosh jeez that's amazing i'm gonna have to try that yeah i love that dude okay wow everyone on your next morning off just give it a go and quite literally count your blessings we always say that but how often do people actually sit and do
Gratitude and Faith Practices
00:51:08
Speaker
it probably not very often so
00:51:11
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my gosh. That kind of reminds me, this isn't my one, but our mentor in college, the pastor of the group that we would go to Chad and I, him and his wife told us that they started years ago writing a journal whenever God does something they would consider like a miracle in their life or whenever God provides for them when they didn't know what to do. Like whether it was they didn't know where food was going to come from one week or
00:51:36
Speaker
They were missionaries to an Africa, so they have some crazy stories. There was one time where she was trying to get, she was kind of like a nurse in this capacity. She was trying to get to somebody who was giving birth, and it was a snowstorm, blizzard, middle of the night. They couldn't see the road, and they were just praying, like, God, get us through. And they drove, made it up the mountain. It was so sketchy, they said. They made it there.
00:51:58
Speaker
gave birth it was actually really good they were there because there were some complications and they saved her life on the way back down the next morning in the light there are some of the gap parts of the road where it was like so skinny they're like how did oh my gosh we're so lucky we didn't fly off the edge of this mountain cliff and then um
00:52:13
Speaker
They said they got to this point where there were a bunch of cars stopped and like basically construction guys like you can't go any further and they're like, no, we have to get back home. We just came up here last night. They're like, no, you didn't. Don't lie to us. And they're like, what do you mean? They're like, there is a, there's no road here. And there was like a 20 foot gap of like literal, just there was no road and it was just like thousands of feet down the mountain. Like you could not, like it's impossible.
00:52:37
Speaker
to pass that they said it had been like that for a long time like for a while and at the time they claimed to have gone up the mountain they could it would be impossible so like they literally had like a miracle like carry them over that gap that they would not have been able to see anyways so it's just crazy stuff like that but sometimes it's as simple as like they didn't know you know
00:52:56
Speaker
Yeah, just something simple. So anytime God did something crazy like that, or little, something that He provided for them, they wrote it down in a journal. And whenever they're worried about something coming up, they don't know where their resource is going to come from or whatever. They open up this notebook and they have story after story after story of God proving He will provide for them no matter what. And just create a road.
00:53:18
Speaker
It was wild. And that's how you can stay grateful too. Like there've been times where I literally thought something wasn't going to happen, prayed so, so much, worked so hard for it happened. And I was like, whoa, okay, God, I'll never doubt you again. Why don't I write that down? We're supposed to write it down. So that goes with the things you said. Sorry, took a long time on that one.
00:53:37
Speaker
No, I loved it. My next one's really quick. It just says, ask God what he wants from you, and then no one else's opinion matters. So just make sure you're pursuing what God wants from you, even if it's against the grain. Yeah, yeah, for sure. My next one is kind of similar. You've kind of already said it, Beth, but you really don't need to listen to the advice of somebody not in your field.
00:54:00
Speaker
Okay, so the green assault sometimes an outsider perspective is a good thing and that's okay. But like is a total stranger giving a negative unsolicited opinion about how to run your business or what you do as an employee, consider what they have to say, there might be some nuggets in there. But if it's out of ill intent, and just not understanding what you do, be prepared to challenge them and ask if you
00:54:20
Speaker
if you can approach their place and tell them what to do. I've said this before, working in coffee, like as a killbury stuff, sometimes it can be, you know, there's people out there who do trades and stuff that are arguably harder, or whatever, you know, maybe a customer will suggest how you could do something better. That's not how food service works at all. I've said before,
00:54:40
Speaker
When I worked in a smaller town and I could be a little spicier, but I said, I'd be like, okay, great. Do you want me to come to your concrete pouring company and tell you how to pour concrete? No, obviously I know nothing about that. So like, you don't have to be so mean. I sound like I'm mean. But that's what I say in my mind, in my inside thoughts, you know? But like, for real, only if that really discourages you, if that kind of talk discourages you, just remember they don't know your day to day. So you don't have to worry about it.
00:55:08
Speaker
You don't shake it too personally either.
Arguing with Perspective
00:55:10
Speaker
Like, even if they meant it personally, you can work on just blowing it past you. Okay. Enter an argument assuming you will never be able to convince them. Focus on instead just planting seeds and explaining your side. Oh, that's really good.
00:55:27
Speaker
Be aware of yourself and others around you 100% of the time. Actually, Beth taught me this. No, I have done. Yes. Better have made the cut. Oh my god. Self-awareness. So there's two avenues with this. There's like how you behave and how others.
00:55:49
Speaker
I used to not be very aware of my surroundings. It's like, it's so hard to tell it unless you were there, you don't know. But you know, Beth and I were just hanging out in the mall at the lake wherever with lots of people around, and if I was just telling whatever story that maybe wasn't appropriate to tell around a lot of people, if I was telling it loudly Beth would be like, like, you're not being aware of who's around right now.
00:56:13
Speaker
I beg Ayla and then eventually I shortened it to summarize because like I would tell her I'd be like oh my gosh and then so eventually it got to the point where I would just be like surroundings I would just say that word and you would be like yeah and then of course you know then you have to watch your surroundings yes exactly but it's not like I never did it I'm sure you had to remind me a couple times too especially later on
00:56:35
Speaker
yeah because you're just goofy goofy kids but um the other one with this was a yeah like be aware of yourself and others around you 100 of the time i'm like super big for not wearing headphones and stuff in public and i know we're so in that culture but and i've gone on walks with headphones before but just like then i'm then i'm looking around more if i can't hear enough then i'm looking around more or whatever
00:56:58
Speaker
And if you feel even slightly off about someone you're meeting for the first time, be observant and only see them in safe situations until you're sure that they're a safe person. I'm actually kind of guilty until proven innocent. If it's situations like somebody handling your finances or real estate or even just a taxi driver or whatever, they're guilty until they prove themselves innocent.
00:57:21
Speaker
to keep myself safe, if that makes sense. If I just feel off about somebody, then I don't need to be alone with them or put in vulnerable situations with them. That kind of changed, as I told it. But just be aware of who you're meeting and observe them very closely. Oh my gosh, I love that. Yeah, let's throw a self-defense one in there. My goodness. My next one is kind of a self-defense
Safe First Dates
00:57:42
Speaker
one too. Here, I'll just show you. Okay, good. Yeah, sure. Have first dates in daylight, in public, always.
00:57:49
Speaker
Oh, that's it. Just, just in public. Like, I don't understand this like, Oh, come to my house and I'll cook you dinner at nine o'clock at night. Stop dead. No, just just go get coffee where there's people around go to an aquarium, like just first dates in daylight in public always.
00:58:08
Speaker
And tell your fricking loved ones where you are and what you're doing. This also goes for travel. Did you put this on any of yours, Ayla? No, no. Okay. So let's do a couple of safety ones real fast. Why did we not? I didn't put enough safety ones in here. Safety. What the heck, Ayla? What are we doing? Number one.
00:58:23
Speaker
Yeah, if you travel anywhere, if you meet someone new, if you're going to pick up something from Craigslist, text someone what you're doing, where you're going, if you know the name of the person you're meeting, if you know what car they drive, if you know what their address, do all of that. Text all of that to somebody so that people know where you're going and if you go missing, they can find you. Second thing I'm going to say real fast that I did not originally write down, learn self-defense. It's one of the best investments you can make into yourself. It affects your safety. It affects your self-confidence.
00:58:51
Speaker
It's a very important thing to learn. And I would say, especially if you're a woman, most important things you need to invest in is learning self-defense, learn how to fight. And yeah, you're right. I actually, yeah. Well, and same with like a hike, if you're going to solo hike, great. You can do it. Tell friends and tell them when you expect to be back. And I would go so far as to say, if I'm not, if I haven't confirmed with you that I'm okay by this point, check with me. And if I don't get back to you,
00:59:18
Speaker
Yeah, call cops like straight up, straight up so much could be I'm a big true crab junkie which maybe doesn't help some like paranoia but just like you'd be surprised how much stuff gets prevented just by time and checking in with each other. And then also I
00:59:33
Speaker
not to freak people out, but I actually practice the quickest way to get in my car and the quickest way to get in my apartment building. I constantly practice like how can I unlock my car the fastest? How can I get inside my building the fastest because I hate in movies when people are fumbling with keys. I'm like, if you just practice in my head, every time I'm getting into my apartment, I like
00:59:55
Speaker
There's some kind of internal, yeah, there's an internal adrenaline thing going on where if it takes me like more than a couple of seconds, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I could be dead right now. Like, but to be fair, uh, that's just me, I think. Yeah.
01:00:10
Speaker
You know what? Guess what? It's the unfortunate ones who don't think about this that might fall prey to it. Also, a couple other quick things, especially if you're a woman. When you get into your car after you're going shopping or grocery or whatever, lock the door. You get in, immediately you bring both your feet and you shut the door. You lock the door and you don't sit there with the door open. You don't sit there on your phone with the door unlocked. That's ridiculous. I literally watched
01:00:36
Speaker
Um, a little two year old when I was like really young, an attempted kidnapping at one of the grocery stores across from the school I went to with my family in the car. Yep. And I saw the guy coming from like a mile away. I remember sitting in the car. Have I told this story on this podcast?
01:00:51
Speaker
Okay, so my mom loves to tell this story and I feel like she could tell it better than me. She might remember it really well. So it was all my siblings and my mom at a grocery store, it must have been I think right after school, before school, it doesn't matter. We were right by our school. And I was looking, my mom was about to go in the store, but she was like writing a check first or something. And I'm looking out the window watching this guy that from the first second I saw him, I was like, oh, something's off. Something in my mind, something in my spirit was like, I don't like that guy. No, no, no.
01:01:19
Speaker
And I was just watching him get closer and closer to our area where we parked. And we were parking, facing another vehicle who had a mom and a baby in it. And it was the mom in her driver's seat and the baby in the car seat or the seat next to her or something. I don't remember if they were in a car seat or not. And then when the guy starts getting even closer, I see him duck behind cars as he's getting closer. And so I tell my mom, I'm like, mom, do you see that guy over there? And I think I just start to mention something. And I was like, I don't like this. I was like, mom, don't get out of the car. Don't get out of the car. I was little. I was pretty little.
01:01:49
Speaker
And my mom was kind of just like, what? It's fine. Like whatever. And then, um, she was maybe like once she, she might not have seen him cause my mom was very aware of that kind of thing. So maybe she stayed in her car for a second. I don't know. Anyways, this guy gets to this lady's car, grabs her door, opens it cause it wasn't locked. All of a sudden she's screaming. He's climbing over her to try to get to the kid and is trying to pull the kid, the little girl out of this car over the mother. So my mom was like about to get out of the car honking the horn.
01:02:17
Speaker
Everything's going crazy. Like it was insane. It only lasted for a few seconds, but I was also screaming. I'm like, mom, don't get out, don't get out, don't get out of the car. Like, you know, I've just in my, I was like, don't you dare. And then, so finally the woman like kicks him out, like struggles, gets him out, shuts the car, locks it. And this guy's like licking her windshield, like licking your window. I'm telling you, but I tell you I was so. I'm guessing my, my jaws dropped. Oh my God.
01:02:43
Speaker
This is in the way this like was so ingrained in me because I saw it coming from so far away. And I just was like, it was just the building momentum of like, I feel like something's gonna go wrong. Something's definitely gonna go wrong. Holy cow, what do I do? Watching my mom about to get out of the car. And I'm also such a mama's girl, by the way. Like my mom was like, I'm so protective of my mom. And my mom like, I just couldn't, I can't handle the thought of anything happening to her. So like very scared about that. It was just so crazy.
01:03:09
Speaker
Ever since then, I am very much about safety. And I think one of the biggest life lessons I've learned is you don't know when it's going to be you. You don't know who's around you. And it's always a worthwhile investment to invest in self-defense, to invest in learning what the trafficking trends are right now, look for the warning signs. All of that is so important. So that's so long.
01:03:33
Speaker
We should do more Self-defense at some point because that was I mean that was a crash course that was like pretty solid in my opinion. That's yeah See that was in our hometown. That was in our that was the do you want to cut out where it was? I can tell you what it was. Yeah, that was oh You're sitting there and mom was gonna go in and get a coffee or something and this guy just came from the floor Yeah, he just came from like over to the side the far side. You know, it's a kind of like a junk store
01:03:58
Speaker
of the buildings that stretch around that way and curve around. He came up from behind that end of the buildings. Yeah, I'll never forget. So crazy. And it was just crazy. I just remember I didn't like how I think he was like demon possessed or something because I saw from like so far away. I was like the second I saw him, my body was just like, oh, evil, like evil, scary, scary red flags. Right, right. Oh, man.
01:04:20
Speaker
All right, so after that little side note, moving on. Okay, here's a good one that I've kind of learned over time, not only learned how important it is, but trying to learn how to do it. And it's practice being unbothered. So if someone accidentally breaks a plate in your home, practice having a small reaction, being really chill about it, care more about the person than you do about the thing or the situation. You know, laugh it off. Like honestly, if something's not a big deal, then it's not a big deal at all.
01:04:48
Speaker
Like I spent so many years, I'm such an intense person that I normally have big reactions to things. So I'm trying to learn how to literally just laugh stuff off. Like the other day I was sitting in my home with a friend and literally we're just sitting and a plate falls off the counter and breaks. And I'm like, Oh, whoops. And then I just walk over and clean it up.
Reserving Big Reactions
01:05:05
Speaker
Literally no, there was no like screaming, no startling. There was nothing. Like it was literally the smallest deal ever. Same thing with if somebody does something to like, I don't know, upset you or whatever.
01:05:14
Speaker
One of the reasons, it's hard to explain this one, but I try to let everything go that I don't really care about. That way, if I argue something or have a big reaction, people know it's like a hill I'm willing to die on. I try to really reserve my big reactions to things that I really care about.
01:05:30
Speaker
I've heard it said like if it doesn't affect you five years from now then don't spend more than five minutes mad about it. Yeah that's a good one. Which is a good one. I like that especially as a perspective from like what I think a good boss should be and as someone who aspires to be a good boss one day is that unbotheredness because I in like the food service world have pretty particular ways that I think things work the most efficiently and the way things can be done
01:05:56
Speaker
and I tend it will get under my skin sometimes if people don't do what I think is right but just practicing like grace and unbotheredness and uh the other day at my part-time job I had a girl who's a bit younger like there was a small mistake no biggie happens all the time and she came to me and she was like I'm so sorry like that won't happen again and I was like it's okay like I know yeah you don't make that mistake every day like it's fine you know like and I think that's just traits of a good boss too
01:06:22
Speaker
it's not being very bothered especially because if you're a boss that's just mad about everything then no one's going to take you seriously when there's an actual problem like you said Beth if you now have a reaction it's like oh this is like yeah this is a problem so exactly and I just find sorry not to drag on but like I just find I have a lot more peace myself like I
01:06:41
Speaker
I really just don't care now about
Qualities of an Unbothered Boss
01:06:43
Speaker
a lot of stuff. Like people, I don't care if someone responds late in a text. I don't care. And I have people coming to me being like, Oh, I'm so sorry to change plans. I'm so sorry about the late texts. I'm like, you cannot make me upset. Like you literally have to work hard to make me upset. Like something has to be a big deal for me to really be upset. And I don't know. I like myself better now that I'm like this. And I feel like, I don't know. I just don't want people to feel like they have to worry about upsetting me. So I don't know.
01:07:09
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good business owner. Like that's things are gonna bother you all the time in business. Okay, mine is life gets a million times better after high school.
Post-High School Opportunities
01:07:22
Speaker
If I could hold every high school kids face in my hands and just say to them, it will get so much better because I remember being in that place where you think nothing's ever going to get better and everything just sucks. And you hear people say life gets better.
01:07:36
Speaker
and you don't believe them I'm telling you but it's specifically after high school like you just got to endure it the time you were there I know not everyone hates high school as much as I did but for the kids who are having a hard time in it high school in my opinion does not work well with the dreamers the go-getters the entrepreneurs a lot of young men have a hard time
01:07:55
Speaker
And the ambitious. If you're struggling in school, chances are you have the potential to do something really, really great when you're outside of it. So, wow. And like you just get a lot of opportunities, people treat you different, people treat you like an adult, like it's just you're in school world for your entire childhood and early adult life.
01:08:14
Speaker
but there's a whole lot of world after that. So if you have a hard time in school, get excited to pursue life after that because it's not the same at all. So true and it's very much more you have your own life and can do what you want with it.
Resolving Dissatisfaction
01:08:27
Speaker
Okay, if you constantly feel off and don't know why, it's probably your diet, exercise, or lack of connection with God. I find that those three things can pretty much fix any problem that you don't know the root of.
01:08:42
Speaker
Oh, that's so good. That's so real. I have to remember that one all the time. A good leader doesn't know everything. And they know that they don't know everything. Oh my gosh, I love it. So true. So true. And I think you respect people more when they can admit that. Yeah, be like, Oh, I
01:09:01
Speaker
I don't know, but we'll figure it out together is a lot better than I'm right, even if you're not. Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay.
Defining and Pursuing Legacy
01:09:08
Speaker
Choose what you want to be known for. Remind yourself of it every day when you wake up and ask yourself what one thing you can do to work towards it that day. Whoa. Whoa. We're coming to the end here, but like actually just look, that's so cool. I'm going back up to read that again to let it like, remind yourself and then how you can work towards it.
01:09:31
Speaker
Frickin' flames. Okay, this is my last one.
Reliability in Small Tasks
01:09:40
Speaker
Okay. It's also from the Bible, but it's a real one, obviously. If you can be trusted with little, you can be trusted with much. If you want to work your way up to manager of a company, leader of a project, if you
01:09:57
Speaker
work for a company, they've got a project that comes along and you want to take over it, you need to show that you can be trusted with the little things. Again, as someone who wants to own a company one day, I'm much more likely to promote the person who's proved themselves with the little things than someone who I can't even trust the small stuff with. So be someone who can be trusted with little because then you'll have more opportunity to be trusted with much.
01:10:22
Speaker
Oh my gosh, I love that. And just I think also spiritually like God giving you gifts and opportunities if you don't waste them. I love that. And I think that's so good because I've talked to people who if something is like a little task or like a little job, they don't really want to work hard of it. And they kind of have this entitled attitude of like, Oh, I'll work hard when I get paid more. And it's like, no, you'll, you'll get paid more. You'll get more opportunities when you prove that you're worthy of them.
01:10:49
Speaker
And oh, dude, I love that. Well, and it's so big in the missions field to like, this was so real for me. I had a mentor tell me this, but he was like, he had big dreams of like going and doing ministry in the Middle East. And basically, it's easy to get a bit of that savior complex and be like, I'm gonna go bring peace to the Middle East. I'm gonna start all these orphanages. And then the job that's in front of you is doing dishes at the soup center at the soup kitchen.
Value of Small Tasks in Ministry
01:11:15
Speaker
And you're like, well, no, I'm supposed to be in the Middle East, solving, creating world peace. And God's like, sorry, I need you to do the dishes here. If you can't do that, why would I send you to the Middle East? I'll send somebody else who's been doing the dishes at the soup kitchen. That's a super big, when people get into ministry, a super big lesson to learn, because it's good to have those dreams of doing the absolute most with God, but he's not just going to hand that to you. I think God's going to give you an entire country that you're going to go fix if you don't want to do the small things for him. But yeah, no way.
01:11:43
Speaker
I love that. That's a really good example. That's kind of what I was thinking as well with that, like with the spiritual side.
Mental Exercises for Sharpness
01:11:48
Speaker
Okay. So I guess I have, I'll do one more. So this is, and it's one that I'm always working on and it's a lesson that I've learned, but I'm, I'm always learning it and have to remind myself of it. And that is to never stop exercising your mind and your brain.
01:12:03
Speaker
So read more, do things that are very good for your brain and that does include exercise and stuff but engaged in conversations and do like those little puzzles that are good for your brain. You don't want to lose your mental stamina. Your body will decay somewhat. Even if you exercise a lot, just physically our bodies are going to change but our mind doesn't have to decline at the same rapid rate that a body typically does.
01:12:30
Speaker
So that's how you meet people who are in their hundreds and they still are witty and funny. Physically, they may not even be able to physically speak as fast and they can't physically move as fast. Even a healthy 100 year old still doesn't look like a healthy 40 year old, even if they kept their body really as healthy as they can be. But the mental sharpness can last a lot longer, but you have to exercise it. You have to be reading. You have to be
01:12:56
Speaker
doing those like mind games, you have to be engaging in good conversation. Like you have to be taking care of the foods you eat and exercise and be out in the sun and all that. So just protect your brain so much because what if you have a freak accident and you lose your legs, you know, you can't control that, but you can take care of your, you can take care of your brain. Well, I guess you can't, you can have an accident that hurts your brain too.
01:13:19
Speaker
You never mind on that. Just exercise your brain. Invest in exercising your brain after you're done with school. Yeah, all of that. Yeah. When you're not in school anymore, it's up to you to be stimulating your brain. So there you go. Amazing. Yeah, that's it. Oh my gosh. That was so much fun. I keep going. I had to cut myself off and even writing these down.
01:13:43
Speaker
Oh, that was amazing. But we'll be done for today. It's really crazy when you sit down and really search. I didn't initially think I was going to have this much. And then Beth, when you said stuff, I was getting even more just like pumped and excited, stimulating the brain. Exactly. But yeah, it's really crazy when you sit down and you search for the lessons, you've gotten out of life so far. And I'm just thankful that we got this for our platform that we have here and that we got to share them today.
Sharing Life Lessons
01:14:10
Speaker
Yeah.
01:14:10
Speaker
Just me too. Same and like you said Ayla I feel like I had so much more that I could say too and if you are listening to this and you feel like there's a life lesson maybe that you taught me or that we talked about and I didn't mention today I'm sorry I really tried to remember everything but again we can't just sit here all day and talk to you. So there are more life lessons out there that I learned and I hold near and dear to my heart. I think these are the ones that just came to my mind today.
01:14:34
Speaker
So anyways, this was a lot of fun and I want to hear some lessons that you as a listener may have to share. So we love interacting with you. We always, always want to hear what you have to say for episodes. So tell us what you thought of this one. Share one life lesson or a few maybe that you've learned over the years, ones you think maybe people could benefit from.
Inviting Listener Contributions
01:14:54
Speaker
So head to today's episode post on Art of Intention podcast on Instagram and tell us in the comments.
01:15:00
Speaker
Yep. At least one more is great. Your favorite life lesson you've learned. Definitely go drop it there. For new episodes each week covering all things about living life intentionally, make sure you're following us wherever you get your podcasts. We are on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Zencaster. Thank you again for letting us do what we do and we'll see you again next week with another episode. Bye.