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How to Connect with Vendors
22 Plays2 months ago
I used to think that all you had to do to be successful in business was just advertise hard enough. But it turns out that the age-old saying is actually true: "It's not what you know, it's who you know." Honestly, you can go far with great advertising, but you will never unlock your true potential without connecting to people and fellow vendors in your industry. It's just a fact.
If the thought of connecting with other vendors confuses or scares you, well, that's why we made this episode! We will talk about how we learned the importance of vendor connections, and the actual steps we take to build relationships with people in our industry. If you aren't fully sold on this concept, we also talk about the benefits of having these connections.
Let us know what you think after you listen!
Your hosts,
Beth and Ayla
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Transcript
Connecting with Vendors for Career Growth
00:00:00
Speaker
In case you didn't already know, connecting with fellow vendors in your industry is incredibly important if you want to further your career. I'm not just talking to photographers, although that is my industry. This applies to pretty much any entrepreneur or business owner. And as I get older, I realize that it's true what they say. It's not what you know, it's who you know.
Introduction to the Art of Intention Podcast
00:00:20
Speaker
Welcome to the Art of Intention podcast with Beth and Ayla. Two best friends turn creative entrepreneurs.
00:00:25
Speaker
This is a place for us to discuss everything business, friendships, and faith, and occasionally more. We're so excited for today's episode. We think you're gonna love it. Stay tuned.
Networking vs. Advertising
00:00:42
Speaker
Before I understood the concept behind building connections and relationships with fellow vendors in the industry, I really thought that all I had to do was advertise like hard enough, leave my business cards everywhere, like hound clients for reviews, have an amazing social media and like a huge following. in order to get where I wanted to go, like in order to be the most successful photographer and have like the most successful business. But the truth is, even though all of that is important, honestly, if you don't have connections, I think this is maybe just my opinion, but I think there's like an invisible ceiling. You'll probably never be able to break through because first of all, word of mouth is huge and it doesn't just come from clients. It can also come
Impact of Vendor Recommendations
00:01:22
Speaker
from vendors. people that speak connections with people. They want to work with people who also like people. And that maybe sounds a little bit weird. So what I mean by that is vendors who feel connected to you on a personal level will want to keep working with you. Therefore, they're going to recommend you to clients and they're even going to recommend you to other vendors and venues. And if you connect with like florists, caterers, planners,
00:01:44
Speaker
venues, DJs, officiants, limo drivers, et cetera, et cetera, you know, we can want you just got yourself like an entire team of people who are going to vouch for you and they're going to tell other people about you. And that can spread faster than social media and it's more consistent and it keeps growing over time, like guaranteed.
Genuine Connections vs. Transactions
00:02:03
Speaker
Well, that's so true. And even like from a photographer standpoint, again, I'm not one, but, uh, being kind of a part of the industry and then just seeing like being a part of other like wedding vendors and just seeing a lot of that stuff unfold. It's one thing like say you're
00:02:18
Speaker
Say you're a bride looking for a photographer and you hear a friend of yours say like, oh, this photographer was really good. That's great. Like that's a great reference in review. But if you book a venue and they're like, Oh, by the way, have you heard of Beth Schweitzer photography? She's worked for us a bunch of times. She knows this venue. Well, that would be huge for a client and a bride who's like looking to just get that all in one bundle, really like the less decisions they have to make. So other business owners who know business,
00:02:44
Speaker
Well, ah do a lot for word of mouth rather than just other clients. Both are really great, but I think like it brings a validity and stuff because they're another like business. like any Any person who got their picture taken can be like, oh yeah, that was really good, but businesses won't vouch for people that they don't trust with their standards for the industry. Does that make sense? That makes so much sense. And that is such a good point. That's totally forgot to mention that exactly. And ah to build on that
Friendships in the Industry
00:03:11
Speaker
too. um Like friends will tell like maybe one friend that they know that's getting married. That's great. Like maybe they'll tell a couple of people about you, but like, you know, it's the people fellow vendors, their entire job is constantly talking to people who are looking for other people to hire in that field. So it's like every day they're talking to a new client. So like word of mouth by clients is great. And you might get one or two more bookings from that.
00:03:34
Speaker
connecting with vendors who are constantly talking to that's their whole business, their whole world. That's way more connections in the long run. That's amazing. And of course it does go both ways. You cannot enter into this space thinking that you're just going to find people and use them for advertising. We've kind of talked about this a while back on the show and we will ah beat it into the ground. You have to have the right heart behind building connections. Everything we just said is just a big benefit of having friends in the industry. Being an entrepreneur, it can get lonely, especially in the photography editing field. We can think we're just like little introverts working solo, but
00:04:09
Speaker
connections and friendships specifically in the industries are so in the industry
Practical Networking Tips
00:04:14
Speaker
is so important. So we think one of the best motivators to building connections is that fact that you'll be making work friends. That's just nice. Um, Beth, I don't know if you touch on this later, but I know like there's a videographer you work close to yeah that's also like, it's a professional. Oh, you do. Okay. Oh yeah. No, no, I was going to just say like right now, I was just going to say that's like very real. What you were just saying, like after consistently working with the same videographer at so many weddings. So we're basically photo and video team now in a lot of ways. Um, it's literally when I get so bummed out now when I go to wedding and she's not there, yeah we're not working together at a wedding. It feels so weird. It feels lonely and entrepreneur work friends are literally the best. That's my opinion. Like when I roll up to a wedding and I know the planner or I know the caterer, it's just, it brings a whole new vibe to the day. And it's just so like, I don't ever want to go back. It's so fun.
00:05:01
Speaker
It's like when you're on, okay, what this just like landed in my brain, but it's like when you're on a road trip and like 90% of the road trip, you're not on familiar roads, so you have to pay more attention and think more and you're a little bit more stressed out. But then when you make that turn into your hometown and then you know where you are again and you can like relax, I feel like that would be similar, like showing up and rocking a wedding solo without anyone you know versus connections there.
00:05:23
Speaker
And not just like another videographer, but you know, the caterers or the DJ or whatever, just being able to be like, Hey, how's it going? We've got each other's backs. Like, yes, that's a big one too. You have each other's back throughout the day. Like the number of times I was like, Oh, do you want water or someone will check in with me and be like, Oh, are you doing okay? Can I get you anything? Like it is the best, but that's not even for that reason. It's just more fun. Like you said, it's familiar and stressful to have people there.
00:05:43
Speaker
Yeah, that's amazing. So definitely make sure your heart is in the right place to be able to cultivate that. And we're going to talk more on how to build those
Engaging on Social Media
00:05:50
Speaker
connections. But yeah, we just really want to say like ah building these connections is to your benefit, but it'll be very clear on if you're building work friendships, getting your work besties, or if you're building people who you think are just gonna help you, if that makes sense. There's a difference. So we're gonna get into it. Building connections with vendors can be done in so many ways. So ah roll with us. We're gonna make this as simple and straightforward as possible. So I'll kick it off with the number one thing that you can do. When you meet a new vendor, remember them, memorize their name, ask some real questions to get to know them, chat with them throughout the day,
00:06:26
Speaker
and and listen. I think something I've noticed about myself is I can be pretty good at asking the questions like, oh, how long have you been in business? How long this? And then I lose those details because, you know, you're probably busy during the day or whatever. So just do your best to like latch onto those. Remember, um this is kind of a strategy that I use with clients, but I imagine this would be like helpful too.
00:06:46
Speaker
but like the next time you see them, like say, you know, you work an event together and they're like, yeah, I have this. And then I'm actually going on vacation for two weeks. When you see them two weeks later or a month later, Oh man, how was your vacation? You went to California. Huge, like amazing. just You're literally like that. Like you're a social genius. If you can do that, I'm just gonna say right now, I admire people like that. And actually fun fact, the videographer is like that literally I,
00:07:13
Speaker
Uh, those people are amazing to me. They're an enigma. I don't understand. I literally could worship the ground they walk on because I don't understand my little sisters like that too. Like this videographer and like my little sister, you can plop them in a room with anybody and within two seconds they will have the life story of the person. Like I i kid you not, we were working at wedding ones and she, this happens all the time, but like she walked over to get her food in line and she was talking to the caterer. She comes back and she's like, has their entire life story.
00:07:39
Speaker
and I had just yeah talked with that person like three seconds before and didn't even get their name and like that was me trying to be friendly and she goes back and she knows everything about them and like same thing when we were like on a trip once she got to know the bus driver she was like knew everything about it and I was just like I don't get it like I admire it so much so I'm working on that because you're so right Ayla it you it makes such a big difference like because the average person isn't doing that and I even use that with customers like in my coffee shop drop they're going on vacation and Oh my gosh. You have to be there for a while to get to know their names and stuff, but if I hear they're going on holiday when I see them again, I'm like, oh man, like how was Nashville? Was that fun? And like, yeah, it' it takes some practice, but it it means so much because most people are like, oh, yeah, it was good. Like they're super stoked to hear you remember that, remembering their drinks, like little things. It's great. I mean, it's such a big difference. And it's a lot of fun to do and it's just like, I don't know, in a world where so many people are like, hi,
Beyond Work Friendships
00:08:31
Speaker
how's it going? Good. How are you? Hi, bye. It's just so nice to have those extra little little details, but yeah. Yeah. And don't feel bad, quick note, because I'm very i'm very shy and I think I'm so more so introverted, but more so it's the shyness that gets me with this. I'm just, I'm very shy and I have a hard time starting those conversations. And when I am in a conversation, I'm usually so nervous.
00:08:50
Speaker
that my brain is not going to hold on to the details because I'm just trying to figure out how do I answer this question or ask a question without looking stupid right now and having them like hate me. That's not good. like We need to work on that and the only way you can really work on that is through self-confidence exercises with yourself but also just being in those conversations and forcing yourself to have those conversations. but and Like practice. It's an absolute skill.
00:09:13
Speaker
Yeah. Yes. Well, and being around people who are good at it, like being around a lower, being around my sister or being around the videographer, like a bunch of people in my life were really good at that and just seeing like, how do they ask questions? Like what kind of questions do they ask? Like, and if they can do it, I can do it. It's not that scary, but anyways, I love it. There's that first one.
00:09:29
Speaker
So this one is a switching gears just a little bit. So I'm going to talk a little bit because this is all I know about. Um, so specifically to a photographer, but I think this could probably apply to other types of businesses too in some way or another, but just to be as specific as possible. So if you're a photographer with the event is over, send the sneak peek gallery to the vendors too. Um, a lot of people don't do this, but it's really great. They
Supporting Each Other at Events
00:09:52
Speaker
usually appreciate it. Simple, easy, quick, and it's makes you stand out. So that's super, that's just a quick one, but.
00:09:59
Speaker
Ooh, I like that. like for I immediately think because because my older sister's a florist, I immediately think of that because like they're so quick to be able to share the images from weddings they just did. And I always wondered, I'm like, man, does this bride have to like find them again and like send it over? Which maybe she does. But that's genius to do that that way. Because again, like as a non-photographer, this is like blowing my mind because I can see it. like Say you're a florist, you do a huge like install for a wedding. You get those images back within a week and are sharing.
00:10:28
Speaker
ah what that can do for your business, what that can bring back to the photographer. That's amazing. Okay. Yeah. And not a lot of people think to do it. And then kind of with that ah similar with like image sharing, sharing sneak peeks, tag them on social media, whenever you post anything that has to do with them, please.
00:10:46
Speaker
Please don't forget this step. It is so, so important for everyone involved and just generally interact with them on social media. Make sure you're following them. Obviously make sure you watch and um, show that you're liking their content, reshare it to stories. If you think your followers would enjoy it. Um, if they do post anything like a caterer florist that kind of has to do with the photos, definitely feel free to share their story because that'll connect back to you. Comment, engage with them.
00:11:12
Speaker
Uh, cause again, I feel like that just goes to that deeper level of like, you're not just using them for your advertising, but you're boosting their content. And in turn, like they'll probably be following you and it just like, it really helps everybody out a lot. And then yeah, tagging too. It's the least you can do for them. Hopefully they return the favor. Um, it's just a really good situation whenever one is like.
00:11:32
Speaker
doing that and up to date on that. It can be a really good thing because you're really just boosting each other and it's free at that point. its so free Right. Exactly. It's just a lot of these things we're talking about are just effort and effort goes a long way. And I think nowadays something that I was thinking of while you were talking nowadays, that's kind of seen as the bare minimum is tagging someone, especially if it's like, if it was literally their work. But I think when someone does it happily and generously,
00:11:57
Speaker
it really ah looks a lot different than, but it doesn't feel bare minimum anymore. So like if you just tagged someone cause like, Oh yeah, it was their flowers or you tagged them cause Oh yeah, they were the caterer. That's one thing. But when you tag them consistently, like, you know, months later when you post again, you tag them again. Um, and then in between, like you said, you're doing all that other stuff. It suddenly doesn't look, it looks so much more than bare minimum. So just a little bit more effort,
Going Above and Beyond
00:12:20
Speaker
a little more engagement, commenting, liking consistently. It is low effort. You just have to remember to do it and it looks like a lot of effort. It feels like a lot of effort. so Yeah. Well, it definitely does. i see I see you and your videographer share like a wedding day and be like, thanks to this, this, and this events and like coach yeahj or whatever, like thanks to everyone for making it happen.
00:12:40
Speaker
And what I see on my end, when I see that would again be like, if I were to hire you for my services, if I needed a full package, I'd be like, oh, well, she already wrapped this, this and this. And the, okay, yeah here's something a little tidbit for you. The person, like the personalization I see of when a photographer specifically says like,
00:13:00
Speaker
Thanks for making the day fun. DJ Flowers, catering, whatever, tag everybody. I see like, whoa, they all look like they work well together because they're like happily tagging each other. This looks, even if, for me well I don't know, it looks like a social media standpoint.
00:13:15
Speaker
that you all like worked together to make the day good and like you share fun behind the scenes or whatever. Like from the social media consumer side, it just looks like, oh, that's like a team. Like I know business wise, you're not a team, but it appears very, and then if you see multiple, like if you end up following a lot of those vendors and everyone's kind of sharing and being like, thank you, good job, everyone. It's very, it feels personable. And it feels like you actually all like know each other and are like actually trying to work together. Does that make sense more than just like, a little tag, but saying like, thank you or good job or something like that. I don't know. I don't know if that's like necessarily a strategy, just something I can see like as a consumer. That looks put together, that looks thought out, that looks done. so I love that. Thank you so much for saying that, by the way, because I don't think I've ever, or I'm sure maybe I have in the past, but it's nice to hear somebody, yeah, who's not part of that vendor team saying, hey, from the outside, that we do notice that.
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah, good luck because I noticed it until we like kind of got into the conversation. But you um yeah, and because how do I how do I explain this? It's like, I mean, it makes sense through the effort of tagging them if you didn't back the business. And if if you didn't vouch for the business, I mean, you might, you know, but like from a consumer standpoint, I wouldn't think that you're tagging them if you didn't vouch for that business. Like if it was a DJ you thought was terrible, maybe you would still tag him because it's the right thing to do. But what I see is you tagging him saying good job. So I'm like, she says he's good.
00:14:43
Speaker
So they all must be together, you know, I know that is such valuable information right now. And honestly, like, again, kind of news to me, like, ah yeah, all this is intentional. Like we want to support them. We like them. So that's why we tag. We tag is the right thing to do. We tag because we want other people to work with them, like all that, but to know how it looks to an
Reliability and Helpfulness
00:14:59
Speaker
outsider is really good or not an outsider. Like you're literally in this industry too, but you're saying as a consumer,
00:15:03
Speaker
And I think that tells me what you were saying tells me I think I need to put a little more effort to into making sure that I am specific with my thank yous and my good jobs because like yeah I imagine that'd be really nice to hear if like you see yourself tagged in a post and they're saying like good job seem like we did a great job like you know all that I think I I could probably do better about being more specific because I think I thank them maybe in the moment but yeah that's just going another step also thanking them on social media and or thanking them again like there's never too many times you can say good job or thank you so I love that. Okay. Let's see. Where are we now? So I think this one is kind of like, so pulling away from social media, uh, for people you really vibe with, not for everybody, obviously, but let's say there's someone you really hit it off with, um, try to extend the friendship outside of social media and outside of work. So this can be just as simple as like ask them for a hike. I'm asking them to go to coffee or to a craft fair and event, like whatever you think you'd have fun doing. Maybe if they mentioned something they like to do,
00:15:59
Speaker
that you wanted to try or vice versa if you mentioned a hobby they're like I've always wanted to try that like just connect to and sooner rather than later um but that's uh yeah like that's a really great way that's how the videographer and I became friends outside of work we hit it off really well at work we decided we wanted to work together and i one of us texted the other just being like hey I loved working with you like do you want to work more and also just want to hang out like as friends yeah And it just is so great, especially if you really hit it off. So make sure you're doing that for the ones you really vibe with on a personal level. And you're like, well, I think this could just be good friends. And there's lots of benefits to that too. Having friends in the industry, we've kind of touched on that before in other episodes, but like it really can, it can be nice cause you're growing together and you teach each other stuff and you can kind of like have that camaraderie of like, you know, talking about issues in the industry or bonding over good things, bad things, all of that. And I'm sure like at the actual event, you don't have to like,
00:16:51
Speaker
talk as much in a good way. like You can show up and just rock it. It's uncommunicated. like or like um
00:16:59
Speaker
Like you don't have to speak it out loud. It's like already understood between the two of you. Like what needs to happen, like what needs to be done. And I like the idea of specific, you said specifically outside of work, like outside of social media and outside of work. Because it's one thing to be like, oh, do you want to go like location scout? Fun for sure. And like definitely productive. But I think it is a step beyond to be like, this can be completely unwork related. Like you just hang out. I really
Personal Stories of Networking
00:17:23
Speaker
like that. You vibed with them. Yes. Yeah. Oh, if I didn't live,
00:17:28
Speaker
i Cause I work completely remotely. Like I don't know any photographers in person and the way I think I would be pals with so many of them if I was there. So if you guys are close by, definitely hang out because there's fun. street I was going to say for you, I feel like a unique opportunity you might have as an editor, um, is that yeah, if you're ever traveling, you can just be like, Hey, I'm in your area. Can I get you a coffee? Like, can we hang out? I'm going to be there on like the 15th or whatever.
00:17:56
Speaker
like That could be a really cool way to actually build the friendships around the world, which like amazing, would love. I would love that. That's such a great idea. I've definitely thought about if I was close to any, i would like if for some reason Chris and I were traveling in that area, I'd be like, hey, can we do photos? We can either trade the services or I'll pay you. like I don't care, but like let's hang out. like like yeah Let's do it. Exactly. You just got to send it sometimes. okay Next up is ah going along with like extending that friendship, going the extra mile. Be a problem solver with them.
00:18:26
Speaker
This one is specific, but if something happens, like say on a wedding day, be observant and vigilant. And if it doesn't hamper your job, offer to help. Do you see the day of coordinators struggling to fix a tablecloth um and you've seen a trick that can fix it at another wedding? Definitely share it with them. um I've kind of done this on an outsider at other events and stuff like that. Like, especially if you're a photographer who's been in the industry for a while, I know you've got tricks. And yes, as long as you're not like leaving couples photos to go do this or something,
00:18:55
Speaker
But in the setting up, in the in-betweens, if there's anything that you can land a hand with or like, oh, can someone hold this bouquet? I got you real quick. Little things like that. Amazing. I think would probably be so important. Well, yeah like that was like a random example. So I don't know if that's like sacrilege, but if it was just like, and it's ado like I'm right here, you know, if you've got the minute to do it. Cause I know there's in between times when photography, a wedding photography.
00:19:19
Speaker
photographing Photographing wedding I know there's a little in between times like you're you're not you know your fingers not on the shutter button the entire time of the day it's so true well and actually what you said about for some reason you said like can you hold the bouquet like I thought you were saying like you can ask for out to which is another big tip by the way like psychologically people love when like they feel like they're helping someone and which it just ah we don't have to get into that but i like if you have a moment where you actually want someone to hold like something for you like definitely don't be afraid to also ask someone for help nothing huge because again you don't want to pull them away from their job but there were definitely been times where like the coordinators held the bouquet for me or i've asked like
00:19:54
Speaker
someone to hold a veil up for me. Like, and I just think I'm like, you are the best. Thank you so much. Like I'm so grateful. Like this should be genuinely grateful. And it's a short interaction, but you made them feel like they're helping you. You compliment them. You got help that you needed. Like it's just a really quick, easy interaction. You don't have to feel like you can't ask for help too. Yes. Okay.
00:20:12
Speaker
that's crazy because the one time i was a maid of honor for my sister's wedding i know that's like not a vendor thing like i'm just somebody who's there at the wedding this is probably just
Genuine Intentions in Helping
00:20:21
Speaker
being a good photographer but i remember when my sister was getting like some bridal portraits taken like some getting ready like putting the dress on whatever And the photographer was like, can somebody like peel back that curtain? We need light. And I was like, I've got it. I was like, I'm going to do it. I can be a hero. Like it feel makes you feel so important. That's so, that's actually so cute. I love that. Cause like the photographer is such an important job. And then if it's like, Oh, can you just hold this real quick? You're like, yes.
00:20:46
Speaker
I will do, I will do this task with my life. like you yeah she say Thank you. Like you don't want to make you hold it. Cause I, I'll be honest, like you think that there weren't people out here like this, but I've met all kinds at this point in the industry. I'm surprised. Like I've met photographers who are so demanding, not many. I think I can only think of two.
00:21:01
Speaker
um but who are so demanding a little bit, get out of the way or can you do over here or you need to do this or hold this for me and they don't thank them. They say it super like sternly and I'm just like, and they think they're just like being all business and straightforward, but I'm like, ooh, that's, you can say those kinds of things and you can thank them. Like you, it's just, yeah. So just make sure you're doing it nicely. Right. That's like, it sounds like you should just be like a high up there fashion photographer because then you can just be real. No, for real though. It sounds like you shouldn't be working with people. Yeah, I get it. I get it.
00:21:29
Speaker
No, yeah, exactly. I think if you're going to work with people, you can you yeah you'll always go further if you're nicer. Not if you're the kind of person who gets walked all over. like You got to have a little bit of, you got to have a little, but you got to be nice.
00:21:42
Speaker
and actually Speaking of all this, that kind of leads me into the next the next thing I want to say. and um so Hold with me here because I'm going to go off on a slight tangent, I think. I'll try to be as succinct as possible. Hold hold on. ok so the it's The concept is simple. I just wanted to say like go above and beyond. That's a really big one. so Go above and beyond. It seems simple.
00:22:04
Speaker
Okay, but you have to be so careful of a couple of things. Number one, be careful that you are doing this for the right reasons, not for the wrong reasons. I debated even sharing this one because I know some people just aren't going to, they're either not going to get it or they're not going to have the right intentions and it might cause some people to be annoyed.
00:22:22
Speaker
so like Make sure you read the room. like okay I'll give some examples. so like Essentially, at some weddings, I stay behind and I like help clean up. I help clear off the tables. I help like pack up some of like the stuff. and This won't always work out with timing. like Sometimes the cleanup crew is super organized and having someone else butt in would like hurt their system. um but Most of the time, if I'm going to be there till the end,
00:22:43
Speaker
um or close to the end or if I'm done right around the time that they happen to be that like so the vendor happens to be like cleaning off the tables or whatever, I just start casually chatting with them while I walk around and pick up trash. And then if I see them doing something like maybe stacking cups or plates, like an easy monotonous activity that I can also do too, then I'll keep chatting with them while I still talk and I'll move on to doing that as well. And I can also flat out ask them like, Hey, how can I help? Like I'd love to help, but Here's kind of point number two. Here's the deal with this one. Don't do it if they don't want to talk to you, if they're like seeming kind of like not talkative or if they genuinely say like, we don't need help. Most people out of kindness, most that you're asking will say like, Oh, you don't have to do that. But that's just because it's like not your job and they're trying to be nice. And so you can keep being like, Oh, I'm happy to like, I don't mind. Like I might as well. Um,
00:23:33
Speaker
but if they so cross the line of kind of saying like no or please don't or no thank you we have a system or whatever then just yeah we've got it our crews our crews on it they've got a system yeah exactly but again it's so much that is in the little unspoken stuff in the tone of voice and they're like they they're you know just read the room um and don't and if they don't feel like chatting i also think that like in to me means they might not want help either so just like just read the room but anyways i started doing this when i was actually in elementary school and here i'm really like i just really want to like yeah just really drive this home so i would stay in the cafeteria for like five to ten minutes after lunch this happened for a few years like after lunch every day like people would all eat lunch
00:24:12
Speaker
And then we weren't allowed to leave until a certain time and then everyone will go have a recess. So in between lunch and recess, I would stay after everyone was already gone and I would like wipe the tables and I would sweep like for the cafeteria lady so she wouldn't have to do it. And I would just kind of chat with her or I would just be, sometimes it would be just silent and I would just do that.
00:24:27
Speaker
and um That's why i the way
Past Experiences and Networking
00:24:30
Speaker
I elementary schooled me never, if I had to clean during lunchtime, I would have been like, excuse me. You know, I've always been so different with that. You're like, is there anything we can do? And I'm like, bro, we can yeah yeah we play. You're going to be completely.
00:24:45
Speaker
We actually, if we had gone to school together, I probably wouldn't have been doing this because I think you would have had so much fun. You just dragged me out every day. But here's the thing, I genuinely loved helping. like i've always like okay i I always went outside to play after, and this is an important point, I always just went back outside and played and had a recess. So the cafeteria lady knew I wasn't doing it to like avoid people because that would have been red flag and she probably would have had to be socialized. And at first, it like she didn't really want me to at first.
00:25:11
Speaker
And then I think when I proved like I was just, it was just something I was going to do and then I was going to leave after she was just like, okay, fine. Um, and like, I think after a while too, like she let me help with other things, other things too, just whatever. But I've always been like that. Like I, even if I'm not like the best at striking up a conversation, and I think this for me is where this all ties in. Like, like I said, I'm very shy. I'm not going to start conversations. I can almost always find a way to help out.
00:25:35
Speaker
like whether it's at an event or like it doesn't matter like if I see something I can usually figure out how to help with that and um to me then conversation more naturally flows afterwards and so it's a really great way for me to connect with people and so I've always really liked doing that but I should clarify again, maybe it's like the third thing, the third, be careful. If you would hate cleaning and you wouldn't enjoy this, absolutely do like, do not do this. I was going to say it was like, because this is such a, you say like, because that's something you've always known about yourself. That might happen naturally, but I was going to say like, if, if, if you're me, and you' made that like not like I wouldn't offer it. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. Like I would definitely like, I think I could comfortably offer, but I get it. if somebody hears this and is like hard, no, they just probably don't bother. you know that's the thing is like you I've seen you help. You're very helpful and you help with a good attitude. You could do this, but if it's not going to, like, I i swear you won't be able to hide that you dislike it from some people. And like, again, it's one thing if someone, if someone would come up to ALM, be like, Hey, can you help? You would be so nice to be like, absolutely. Why not? Another thing to be like, I'm going to stay longer than I'm being paid for and help. And especially because you don't want to be more of a burden. If you're not someone who can actually figure out how to help don't love you. Like, how can I help tell me what to do? Like they're not being paid to boss around another person. Like I show it's very, it's natural, but when I reflect on it, I'm breaking it down to try to explain to people. Like I, it's the way I do it is I show that I don't need instruction by picking up trash. Yeah. You're good at just like seeing what needs to be done and like figuring out yourself. There's a difference between like, can you give me direction? They're like, excuse me. Yeah. Well, yeah, I was going to say I bid, but it builds trust up to the second level because like at first I show like, I'm like, I know what I'm doing. I'm competent and I'm not going to be a burden. And then if I get that done and we're chatting well and I see, and I in my head think I could probably keep helping, but I'm not sure what to do at this point, then I can clarify, Hey,
00:27:35
Speaker
can I help you stack those? What can I do with this? Like anything else you need help with? Um, do you have to prove first so that you're not going to be a burden to them, that you are actually helpful and that you're going to be fun while you do it? Like make it more, that's another thing too is like make it more fun. Like if you're chatting, you're kind of dancing along to the music, you're laughing, you're kind of like people watching together, like make it really fun for both of you. Anyway, so like that that's ah yeah, it's very random and I genuinely love, I literally wedding days. I kid you not where I end it.
00:28:05
Speaker
helping like pick up a table or like clean up something or collect flowers or whatever. It is literally one of like it ends up just being one of my favorite days and I go home so happy and it's a really easy way for me to connect with people and what I also love about it is that even if no real connections are made through it like let's say I just it ended up not really leading to great conversations or whatever I still helped. I at least still helped and I'm happy either way. So it's a win-win for me either way. Um, but yeah, so I just want to clarify that because some people, I know there's some people out there who are probably like me. Um, maybe they don't realize it or maybe they do and they didn't realize, oh wow, I'm like that too. I didn't know I could do that in this space. And it's a really great great way to just build connections. So, and i I kid you not when I was younger for a little while, I was like, if I can get a job where I'm just like helping people like
00:28:50
Speaker
pick up stuff. I didn't want to actually be a cleaner or anything, but yeah and I get it. You're like an event cleanup specifically. You're like not even set up, but like your event takes down. I'll be there, yeah which it
Cultural Differences and Event Dynamics
00:29:03
Speaker
does exist. I know, but I guess I just didn't pursue it because I'm like, well, I'd rather do this, but I just love it. but It's nice because anytime there's a wedding in the family, anytime there's like an event,
00:29:11
Speaker
And then there's a birthday party, a bridal shower. I'm literally the first one to be like, I will clean up. You guys don't even need to help. like this I'm about to just have the best time of my life for the next hour. i wrote Well, I remember at my wedding, because I've cleaned up many a wedding, like siblings getting married, and then like being a part of like just going to a church. You go to a million weddings. And usually, if you're like Beth and I, you're like usher, caterer, clean up. Yes.
00:29:34
Speaker
unpaid labor or whatever, which it was always fun. Like as a teenager, it definitely was fun. And so I remember cleaning up many a time and I remember being like on my wedding day, I'm not touching a thing. And it was kind of nice. Like we did have a crew, like we had ours at a restaurant. So there was a crew who was completely capable of takedown.
00:29:51
Speaker
but I remember feeling so strange. I was like, I am supposed to be helping right now. And you said, you were like, don't you worry about it. We've got it. Like you were just probably like itching. Cause you were just like, amazing it up. And you were like, I'm going to help all day long. It was amazing. way it It was so great. But I also knew I was like, she cannot clean up. Like I know. And in my wedding dress, just like, absolutely not. You get your butt out of here.
00:30:14
Speaker
No, but it's funny too because, you know, again, the reason I talked about this when we're talking, in the episode where we're talking about connecting with vendors is because think back to, I can say this with Ayla because Ayla and I, like you just said, we had a this growing up. This was like something we always did, but I don't know if everyone listening also had this, but think back to like when you were like church VBS as a kid or in school and like you would have to do all these, I guess for lack of a better word, you know, free labor things with your friends. It was fun because we were doing it with friends. The amount of times you and I stacked chairs, kind of like i the amount of times we packed boxes put down. took down or put up like decorations or stages for like plays and stuff or freaking made the decorations to be honest. yeah Or the times we like would so be in like a food line. We're passing it like popsicles or we're like helping with crafts with kids or we're like, I don't, did you ever do the Turkey? Okay. We're getting off track.
00:31:11
Speaker
like Did you ever do like Thanksgiving? We're like in the church, they'd set up all those boxes and you would have like a food line, you'd all booo put all the different foods in the boxes to be distributed on the street and stuff like that where it's just like, and I mean also going to a small private school, like every time there was a play, every time there was like a function, every time there was anything we're helping like make the stage, we're helping with the props, we're helping with Setting up the chairs taking them down like all that stuff it with sports We would help with like the snack bar if it wasn't like our sport like it just it was fun I think naturally to me, but I think looking back if I'm honest it was fun because I was getting social interactions with people and it felt like I was interacting with those friendships with People that maybe would be hard to talk to otherwise because I was so shy or just with my best friend with you It's just I just could hang out my bestie. So I Anyways, it's a great way to connect with people. I love that. No, that's good. Okay. Not to like linger on this point for a while, but out of actual curiosity, like how do you how how do you find that that goes with a caterer or something like that? like How often would you say you actually end up helping them versus like seeing that they don't need it and like getting to chat? like what's the but but If you don't know specifically, that's okay, but like what's what's the success rate, I guess? It's a phenomenal question. Because I wouldn't have known
00:32:27
Speaker
as a non-photographer, that that's like allowed. you know because a lot of ah and This could be ah another conversation for another day, but a lot of what I see on social media, which I think I've talked about it before, but just like certain photographer attitudes that I don't think should be on social media, but like making it clear that you're leaving right at your done time. I don't care if you do. I get it. like I get not staying past, but like making a point to put it on social saying like when you're there past your contracted time or like, you know, me taking some dessert and then leaving cause I'm done or whatever. Like that's a lot of what I see. So I literally wouldn't have thought that that's a concept to be there for that cleanup, which is like a while
Building Rapport with Small Gestures
00:33:06
Speaker
at the end of the day. So like, how do you, well, like if do people receive that well, basically? Cause I don't, I wonder if that doesn't happen a lot in the industry. So like, is it usually received well? How often would you do that versus like reading the room and like deciding to go home? You know?
00:33:19
Speaker
Wow, that is a great question. No, I know it's okay. yeah And I think there's actually a there's a few things in there. Um, and this is one of the reasons I was actually debating whether or not bringing this up because I don't want it. First of all, I don't want to tell photographers you need to stay longer than you're contracted for. I don't want to tell anybody just to work more. If you're ready to go home, just go home. It's fine.
00:33:41
Speaker
and Also, something you mentioned, you're like, wait, isn't that like a long time to be staying? um Very often, I don't know the percentage. I'll try to get into percentages in a minute here because I think I do have an idea of the percentage's success and failure rate and all that stuff in my head. but um like The last wedding I helped clean up with, they they were still dancing and partying when it was my time to go and they were clean and the the crew was cleaning up tables.
00:34:04
Speaker
So it was like it wasn't i guess my one is done. yeah Yeah. So it's really, sometimes it just works out timing wise. You're not always having to stay there till the whole wedding is done in order for cleanup to be happening. So it's really also just about opportunity. Um, so what you asked about, have I ever been like turned down as whatever? Like I only like twice that I can remember was I specifically told no, it's okay. And once was like the vibe was kind of like, Ooh, I don't, they don't want my help for some reason. Like I don't know why, but that's a no. i'm I'm not getting a friendly vibe. And the other time was genuinely like they had a system. They were moving so fast and I was like debating whether or not to ask. And it just ended up being like, they're like, no, it's okay. We got it. And
00:34:45
Speaker
in a way where I was like, yeah, I think I'd be more of a problem because I can't immediately see how to help, but that's, I'm just going to not, I think I grabbed some trash on my way out and just like threw it away, but I wasn't going to stay and try to like insert myself into conversation and helping. Um, and then there's been probably, I would say a solid, a solid half the time, the timing doesn't work out. Like I'm either leaving well before anything needs to be cleaned up, right? Or I just like, you know, whatever, because no, that that would be the reason because yeah, it would just,
00:35:12
Speaker
in the room like it's just a good like observation skill to be like oh here's a good window or oh and like windows not here yeah but pick and stuff yeah but plenty of times it's just not the right timing because i'm leaving well before there would be any cleanup yeah yeah like that's not telling you to stay for four hours on page until they're like cleaning up or whatever but yeah exactly and here's an important note though and while you were asking the question i don't know if this was specifically in your head or not but i did think about this you want to be careful that you're not just sticking around being like, I'm going to help the cleanup crew to gain these vendor connections. And I'm here for another 30 to 40 minutes. And then all of a sudden the bride realizes you could have been photographing me in that time. And that's where this gets a little iffy. And here are my thoughts. Excellent point. Yes. yeah So I also, that ratio of like how often does this happen is determined by
00:36:06
Speaker
how done I really am with my day. So like the only times I really truly end up sticking around, helping and having a conversation and really hanging out, it's maybe 20% of the time that I'm really there for a while cleaning up. And that is when like they're full on, they're just in party mode. They're drunk. They're smashed for the rest of the night. Like I've already gone. maybe' even gone you know Like, yeah, true. But I'm not really usually there. I mean, yeah, if there's obviously an oddly enough, there's not a lot of weddings in Hawaii where there's like a send off and the couple's actually gone before we leave. Oh, because yeah, it's it's weird and I'm not sure exactly why but it's actually pretty rare compared to like California weddings I almost always do a send-off and like then I'm happy to to help clean up and that person I took off at like 7 p.m. But yeah, but yeah, yeah, so in so it also determined sorry, I'll go back to the point I was saying in a second, but thats looks like no interesting Yeah, we're depending on what state I'm in I can also predict semi accurately like whether or not I'm gonna be there to help clean up and just because like in states like California or like Oregon or like whatever, you tend to have, I don't know the reason, more send-offs and then therefore like I'm there and I can help clean up on the way out. um But places like Florida and Hawaii, like I don't know why but I've noticed I'm like they're just, they're partying, they don't leave.
00:37:22
Speaker
And that's fine. but That's amazing. I love that. But okay. So what I was saying is like, if I've already gotten like all the photos I could possibly get at this point, like, and I, you probably have photographers say this before, like, but there's only so many dancing photos you can get. Like after two hours of there being partying as and I love it, the vibes are high. It's fun, but like I, you're not going to want the 900th photo. I mean, that's an exaggeration, but I don't need to keep taking the same photos over and over again. When I feel like I've gotten a well-rounded set of dancing,
00:37:47
Speaker
and there's cleanup going on and I'm already at my time. They booked me for, um, that's a perfect scenario and I'll just kind of like phase my way out and usually the music's still going. So you kind of like, you know, like I said, it's a really, you just make it more fun for the cleanup group. You can kind of be people watching kind of be like joking and dancing yourselves and you're just kind of picking up and having a good time. Everyone's, you know, maybe you can all have a little bit of cake. Like it's just kind of a good way to phase out and it's like a great time to help without looking to the bride. Like, Hey, I saw that you were here for an extra half hour and you didn't.
00:38:17
Speaker
do anything like else photographic. I would never do that if it's like leaving around dinner time or if it wasn't dancing. So it near your option to do this does narrow down quite a bit to like, like I said, maybe 20% of the time. Right. Depending on what it could also even be like even If it wasn't perfect cleanup what you said about even like yeah like having cake with them or like bringing in the cake this might be once you get to know that they're a bit more and know their preferences but even if there wasn't like cleanup you could do but you've gotten the photos you need and it's like hey did you guys eat did you guys have water I guess we don't have to know um like.
Maintaining Genuine Connections
00:38:48
Speaker
No, 100%. That's actually a great way to get to know them. like do You don't have to wait until you know them for that and know their preferences. like i And that's, again, by hanging out with people who are more like that, that's where I've learned to get more bold and do that. like Someone like my sister or someone like that videographer, they're very good about that. They'll just be like, oh, can I grab this for you? Can I grab a water for you too? Or just don't even, sometimes you don't have to ask. If you're going to get yourself a water, bring back one for them too. The worst they can say is like, oh, thank you. like I'm not super thirsty. i got don't wear Whatever. We don't know. Exactly. Everyone's going to be parched probably. Exactly. Just be open and just if you have a thought of something nice you can do, just do it. if you're sh I'm talking to people who are shy right now. I understand the fear. I understand that in 3.2 seconds, you're going to have 10 bad scenarios play out in your head of what ifs. None of those are going to happen. and um If they did, it would look worse on that person, not on you. so Just do the nice thing if you think of it.
00:39:47
Speaker
Well, and again, like you said, the worst thing they can say is no, even if you want to go the extra mile and like help clear some tables, if they're like, Oh, no, thanks. We got it. Like, yeah, we've got our system down. Like that's literally no problem. And they're not going to look back and be like, someone wanted to help me. Like, you know, through ah even if you don't help them, that's still probably an opportunity to be like, Oh, they were there. They were willing, you know, exactly like, yeah, absolutely. Well, I love that. Yeah. Not to make that last point huge, but I think it was such a specific and important one that yeah, I love that. Um, just in general.
00:40:17
Speaker
ah vendor relationships like I don't think we have to tell you how important they are but again Like they can take you worlds beyond what you could probably do on your own. They could totally take you to that next level And just be fun for you personally, but also helpful for your business. And of course it won't last if it's not genuine. Like I said, you don't gotta be besties with every single vendor that you meet, but it's a really good idea to genuinely care for them. Like genuinely care for them, genuinely reach out to them when you see them, everything like that. And ah coming from two vendors, Beth and I within the wedding industry, we can tell if you don't care.
00:40:54
Speaker
Yeah. We can tell if it's not genuine. Like we can tell right away if it's, ooh, what tips and tricks can I get out of them in one coffee date? Or what can I, what can I get? We've talked about on the show before. Everyone can tell. So just, if you're not going to be genuine, then maybe, maybe don't take any of this advice, but it starts with a genuine respect and care for them and their business and a willingness to be friends at the minimum. Not besties, but we're friends. We all love having good work friends. Exactly.
00:41:21
Speaker
So there's that. And then also, like we said, social media is a great way to keep a connection. Even if you aren't besties, comment, tag, mention, share their stuff to you, stories, all that good stuff. They see it and it goes a long way. Exactly. And um remember, too, that people are going to occasionally reach out to you to do the same thing, to try to connect with you. ah they may be They may be beginners. So remember where you were right now wanting to make those connections, the feelings you have, like remember at that stage of your life and respond to people with that in mind and with grace. And you never know who could end up being a great friend or a great connection in the future. So don't shut people out just because they're new or you're unsure, but
00:41:59
Speaker
Yeah. Did want to also say if you are worried about being taken advantage of because that sadly is something we have to worry about. If you're worried about someone having the wrong intentions or wanting to kind of gate keep some information for yourself. Um, but you still want to make friends and have boundaries. So you can listen to our gatekeeping episode we did about this. It's called community over competition. And actually it was like our seventh episode. You're going to have to scroll way down there and find that, but we still stand by what we said there.
00:42:24
Speaker
We really poured our heart out in that and it tackles a really interesting issue and it's kind of a hot take on something that, yeah, it's controversial. So if you want to talk about boundaries and gatekeeping and community over competition, that whole thing, um, that's a great episode to kind of dive into. And it will tie into this, uh, this topic as well. If you're worried about that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Because we, we love community. We overcompetition, but not in the way you might think. So definitely go and listen to that one. It kind of encapsulates everything you said here, but yeah.
00:42:53
Speaker
Go get after it. Make some good friends in the industry. Be a good friend to others in the industry and you guys about this. ah If you like what we do and you're a fan of what we do and and you want to make sure that you're connected with us, you can head over to our Instagram. We are at Art of Intention Podcastment Instagram. That's where you can be notified when we post a new episode. We post all kinds of polls, resources. We try to keep you guys really involved with everything we do. It's a great place to connect with us and continue the conversation. Our DMs are always open for just your thoughts on an episode.
00:43:23
Speaker
guests requests, guests ideas, topic ideas, whatever. We like hanging out with you guys over there or you can send us an email at art of intention podcast at gmail dot.com. And we hope to see you back next Tuesday. We post every Tuesday and you can listen on Spotify, Google podcasts and Zen caster wherever you listen to your podcast. And we hope you guys have a great week. Bye. Bye.