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Nurturing your teen's body confidence and fostering a harmonious bond with food
23 Plays1 month ago
Does your teen struggle with body image issues? With disordered eating? Join Claire Ketchum and I in this dynamic conversation about how to help your teen have a healthy relationship with food and their own body in today's social media driven world of compare and dispair.
Find Claire here -
www.claireketchum.com
@claireketchum.ck
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction of Claire Ketchum
00:00:01
smandere1
Hello and welcome back to Mom Tabulous. I'm Sharla Mandare, your host, and with me today is Claire Ketchum. She's the founder of the Peaceful Eating Method and Healthy Habits Coaching for Teens. She's a certified health coach through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, a certified transformational nutrition coach,
00:00:23
smandere1
through the Institute of transformative nutrition and holds a BS in psychology and master's in education. Wow. She's on a mission to teach moms how to help their teens maintain a feel good weight and body image in school and beyond.
00:00:39
smandere1
So they never yo yo diet and always feel confident and happy in their own skin. That's what all moms want for their kids. I think great like having confident, healthy kids.
00:00:47
Claire Ketchum
yeah
00:00:50
smandere1
Welcome Claire. I'm so excited you're here.
00:00:53
Claire Ketchum
ah Thank you so much for having me. Happy to be here.
00:00:55
smandere1
Yeah, thanks. That an impressive resume. So, okay, tell us about you and how you fell into this like, like nutrition, coaching, counseling, helping.
Claire's Personal Journey
00:01:06
smandere1
I love helping the teens because they're all like, social media has added a whole right.
00:01:11
Claire Ketchum
yeah
00:01:13
smandere1
I just had the magazines in the eighties with like Alyssa Milano on the cover and like Kate Hudson and right. And now it's like, we've got TikTok and Snapchat and filters and
00:01:24
Claire Ketchum
Yes, it's a lot it's a lot.
00:01:25
smandere1
Oh, yeah.
00:01:26
Claire Ketchum
It's all day versus just every once in a while, for sure. um So I...
00:01:29
smandere1
yeah
00:01:33
Claire Ketchum
was, you know, I was that that person who always felt insecure about how I looked as a teenager. And then as I started to gain weight in college, I started to diet and I just sort of never felt comfortable in my own skin. And when I started teaching, I was teaching it in a middle school and I just, I felt the same way. And so I was just jumping from diet to diet to diet. And I spent 20 years basically losing and gaining the same weight over and over again.
Transition to Coaching Teens
00:01:59
Claire Ketchum
And then I was introduced to a different way and I stopped dieting and learned how to maintain my feel-good weight without diets. And I was like, this is so important. And I was still teaching at the time. And so it was really just
00:02:12
Claire Ketchum
encouraging my students to do things and my own children. um But then I started getting you know working with the teens in the school and it was really wonderful. I loved helping them in a more specific way versus just you know unsolicited advice from their teacher about what they were drinking in my classroom. And so I transitioned out of ah teaching in the classroom to coaching teens outside of the classroom.
00:02:41
Claire Ketchum
And that is, so that's sort of why I got interested in it and why i why I decided to focus on teens was because that was my background.
00:02:42
smandere1
yeah
00:02:48
Claire Ketchum
um I'd always worked with teens one-on-one as a teacher. And I felt, I've just, they're such a great, for me, I just love that age because if I could have not spent 20 years dieting, like what else could I have done, right?
00:03:02
Claire Ketchum
Like it just, it's amazing to think what how that could have changed the whole trajectory of my life.
00:03:03
smandere1
You love it.
00:03:08
Claire Ketchum
And what a waste of time.
00:03:10
smandere1
Yeah, no, I love it. And like teachers are there with the kids. as much, maybe sometimes even more than some parents are. And so, you know, they it's important to be, it's a role model, right?
00:03:22
smandere1
Those positive
Teen Eating Habits Discussion
00:03:23
smandere1
behaviors. Yeah, it's like, put down the Mountain Dew and drink the water, right? These kids drinking like like red bulls. I'm like, oh my God, you are way too young for that.
00:03:35
Claire Ketchum
yeah
00:03:36
smandere1
That gives me heart palpitations. I cannot imagine your tiny little, like not mature body. like a monster drink or a red bull
00:03:45
Claire Ketchum
And it really depends on the student. like There are some students who sort of get into that because you know I had one of my students and he was a big hockey player and he played a crazy amount of hockey like as a very young child. And so he was always drinking Gatorade. I'm like, you don't need to drink Gatorade at 11 o'clock in the morning in my classroom.
00:04:04
Claire Ketchum
Like you're not exuding any energy that you need Gatorade for plants. Anything like, you know, it's a hundred degrees out and I guess not a hundred degrees for hockey, but you know what I mean?
00:04:08
smandere1
like a monster drink or a Red Bull.
00:04:13
Claire Ketchum
Like sometimes you really do need that and Gatorade can just be useful in that way. There are healthier options. But I got him to spring. All of a sudden he started bringing a water bottle and I was like, look at that.
00:04:28
smandere1
Yeah, man, I feel like we could do a whole episode on Gatorade. Like, you know, my oldest is a cheerleader and, you know, that's an, it's an outside sport, you know, the cheering football games. And there was a football game a few weeks ago, they absolutely should have canceled. It was like 98 degrees and these football players were in all the gear. And, you know, even when they're not playing, they have to stand there with the helmet on and and all the stuff. And these boys, these high school boys are just.
00:04:54
smandere1
I mean just cooking out there in the sun and then the cheerleaders are standing there and they're trying to cheer and you know and I home make a a healthy Gatorade right like I put lemon and some pink Himalayan sea salt and some water or like coconut waters right hydrating watermelon water right very hydrating has the electrolytes in it.
00:05:12
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:05:15
smandere1
But God forbid my high school student brings some coconut water or mom's homemade Gatorade in gallon jugs.
00:05:21
Claire Ketchum
but
00:05:22
smandere1
That's just social suicide.
00:05:23
Claire Ketchum
No.
00:05:24
smandere1
So you know, we're we're buying I'm buying the gate. I'm a health coach. I'm buying the Gatorade for the because I'm like, at least at least you'll drink it. You know, like the water is good, but you need to replace electrolytes and that heat they should have canceled this game, but they didn't.
00:05:37
smandere1
So Let's replace electrolytes. We brought Gatorade's for the whole team, me and another mom and just, you know, like just drink it. I've given up.
00:05:45
Claire Ketchum
Right.
00:05:47
smandere1
i but
00:05:47
Claire Ketchum
100%. And that's the whole thing with teens.
00:05:49
smandere1
no
00:05:50
Claire Ketchum
like You really have to like assess the situation and their lifestyle and what's going on with them with their peers
Stress Management for Teens
00:05:58
Claire Ketchum
and socially. And you have to find a solution that works um you know maybe isn't the perfect situation that once they get older they would be willing to do but as a teenager like whatever like working with them to figure out like what is acceptable what's going to make you not increase your stress because the whole point of being healthier is to keep their stress levels down um so if bringing the weird Gatorade increases their stress then it's not worth it like they can drink the good Gatorade at home like you know
00:06:28
smandere1
Yeah.
00:06:28
Claire Ketchum
There's ways to compromise. um And that's a lot of what I help ah ah my ah the teens I work with and the parents sort of navigate that middle ground. And teens, for whatever reason, are just sometimes more willing to listen to an outside source.
00:06:46
Claire Ketchum
like And that's sort of a natural progression. in in that age group is that they're learning to be so separate from their family. So they're more willing to listen to a coach or a teacher or a friend than they are to their parents.
00:06:58
Claire Ketchum
That doesn't mean it's always that way. But sometimes hearing it from somebody else, you're like, I have been saying that. And they're like, well, my friend told me about this thing.
00:07:06
smandere1
Yeah.
00:07:08
Claire Ketchum
And they're like, oh my gosh.
00:07:10
smandere1
Or, you know, my favorite now.
00:07:10
Claire Ketchum
So.
00:07:12
smandere1
I found this recipe on TikTok. It's really healthy. And I'm like, you know what?
00:07:16
Claire Ketchum
the
00:07:17
smandere1
Cool.
00:07:18
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:07:18
smandere1
I offered this very similar recipe last week. But cool. OK. Hey, look, whatever works at this point. TikTok is the thing that, you know, the cute 22-year-old influencer is making that you want it.
00:07:31
smandere1
OK. Let's make the recipe.
00:07:32
Claire Ketchum
Yeah, exactly.
00:07:33
smandere1
It's high protein. Great, you know, yeah. So let's talk about the stress because the kids are the team, they are so stressed out all the time.
00:07:40
Claire Ketchum
Yes.
00:07:42
smandere1
And, and as we're filming this, my, my sophomore in high school is taking finals today.
00:07:46
Claire Ketchum
Oh my God, yeah.
00:07:46
smandere1
This week, it's finals week at our high school. So we've had a pretty high stress week here.
00:07:51
Claire Ketchum
be yeah
00:07:52
smandere1
Geology finals and, and all of that. And so, um, you know, I feel like we always, we had school stress, right? In the nineties and the eight, like when, when we were in school,
00:08:03
smandere1
We had school stress, but they've got this added level now. The pressure for college is more the, you know, and I'm very much like go to trade school or go to a community college for a couple of years. They're free right now out here in California. They're free for, you know, community colleges or i'm like that's free. You get the gen ed out of the way, then you can move out and go to college. But, you know, we've, they've got so much.
00:08:27
smandere1
and the and the social media and the peer pressure from friends, which was always there, but I feel like it's just amplified now, right? So let's talk about stress and like kids will emotionally eat. I mean, adults too, right? I feel like a lot of women that I work with their, um, disordered eating really has carried from like middle and high school, right? That these are habits and beliefs.
00:08:55
smandere1
that we've told ourselves and and it just carries into adulthood. So if we can get ahead of that as well.
00:09:02
Claire Ketchum
100%? Yes.
Chronic Stress and Its Impact
00:09:04
Claire Ketchum
So the way that I talk about it when I'm describing it is that I call it the chronic stress loop. So a team will have some sort of stressors. And you know you had mentioned some of the daily stresses, like you know peer pressure and homework and exams, like you know making a team, not making a team, making the play, not making the play, like all of these things that are very important to them. But then they also have things like ah They might have a stressful relationship. Maybe they got excluded from something, or they're feeling judged, or they feel like a teacher doesn't like them. you know So that can be a relationship stress. Then they they might have just stressful emotions that they're dealing with. Maybe they're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, or maybe they're bored.
00:09:45
Claire Ketchum
ah depends ah on teens. Sometimes teens have way too much going on in their life and some teens get home off the bus at two o'clock and then they have have a lot of alone time in the night. So it it really depends on the teen's schedule and what kind of school they go to in the sense that you know some schools have enough room for all kids and extracurricular activities and some schools don't, it just depends. And then you might have they might have a stressful event going on. So they maybe they have an illness a parent, a grandparent, personal illness, a divorce, um something like that. So there's all just this lots of different times of stress. And what I always say is it doesn't really matter if you think their stress is important. and if they are If they feel stress, it activates the stress response. And as soon as the stress response gets activated, it is just hardwired into the brain to reduce that stress. And that becomes the top priority.
00:10:39
Claire Ketchum
And so you have to find ways to do that. And lots of of kids who get involved in you know with body image and this pressure to be thin for girls and this pepper pressure to be strong and big for boy either way, um you know you have to have some way to to soothe that stress. And so for girls, often, I'm going to talk mostly about how how someone who's overweight would deal with it versus someone who wants to gain weight.
00:11:05
Claire Ketchum
ah you know they have these thoughts like maybe I'm not good enough or I'm stupid or and so the these thoughts start coming because of the stress and then they have to deal with that stress in some way you're like because these just amplify right and we have these thoughts like 80 percent of the thoughts we have are repetitive and most of them are negative and so they just have these thoughts all day and so when stress happens they get it gets amplified even more and so they have to have a way to sue that and so with the teens that I work with that's typically
00:11:37
Claire Ketchum
you know eating tons of junk food, maybe lots of sugary drinks, maybe snacking all the time, eating candy all the time, drinking high sugar coffees all the time, um all of these behaviors. And you think they're just doing them because they're just natural behaviors, but they're actually learning how to soothe that stress by gravitating towards these habits. And once you start doing them and you do them over and over and over again in your teen years, I mean, I remember saying they're taking exams and like,
00:12:07
Claire Ketchum
power eating candy and bazooka gum while I was studying. And I mean, just the amount of sugar coursing through my body was not helping for sure. But that is how I dealt with the stress of it. And I continued that into adulthood. And so And then eventually, if their kids are doing this a lot, some kids can, um you know, they might not gain weight in high school, they but they are definitely impacting the way they feel about themselves if they're doing these patterns. And then the weight shows up at some point in their life as their body just adjusts to maybe your metabolism slows down just naturally as you get older. um And so then you get the unwanted weight.
00:12:44
Claire Ketchum
And then that is another stressor, like you're stressed about how your body looks and that you're not perfect. And then the stress escalates even more and you just get stuck in this loop indefinitely and you carry it into adulthood. And so that is why reducing stress And teaching kids to become more stress resilient so they don't fall into this pattern. And they have healthy ways to soothe themselves that don't involve, um in this situation, of food. I mean, lots of kids do other things. But specifically, I focus on the kids who use that food to soothe that stress.
00:13:19
smandere1
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
Strategies for Reducing Teen Stress
00:13:21
smandere1
And so how can we decrease the stress for our teens when you know, we can't control what the teachers are assigning and when finals are and we can't control whether they make the team or not make the team or make the play, like you said, and we can't control you know, girls bully by isolating and boys bully with fists, right?
00:13:39
smandere1
but like Girls, they bully but the them like mean girls, the movie, right? That's that's really, you know, and so you know, we can't control all of that.
00:13:43
Claire Ketchum
right right
00:13:48
smandere1
And I talk with my kids all the time about like, look we can't control that we can control our reaction, our response, you know, but how you feel is valid. And so, you know, I let my kids let their feelings out.
00:13:59
smandere1
And then it's like, okay, got it out now. Now, can we move I can't wait.
00:14:04
Claire Ketchum
but
00:14:04
smandere1
We got that out. That took some time. But let's now let's you know strategize and and and move forward.
00:14:07
Claire Ketchum
Right, right.
00:14:10
smandere1
So but what else can we be doing to help reduce the stress when there is so much that we can't control? you know um What TikTok's algorithms are that they see and all of that.
00:14:25
Claire Ketchum
Well, I think what you said is really important, you know, validating their stress versus saying like, oh, it's no big deal or like just like pushing it away. Be like you have every right to feel badly about that or that like that's a lot. You have a lot of going on like that. It's valid. So there's so many different ways and it really is dependent on the student and how they you know, how they work, how they study what's actually going on. And so that's why sort of diving into like, well, what is the number one thing stressing you out right now? Because often when you can help them soothe that, the other things tend to sort of not be as big and they are able to manage them better. So it's starting the day. So when something comes up, having strategies to reduce that stress in the moment can be really helpful. But then, like, for the example of an exam,
00:15:15
Claire Ketchum
sometimes um sitting with a teen and helping them come up with a study schedule so and blocking out their time, like that can really reduce their stress. you know Having um like a plan for like when what time they're getting home and what time you're going to be able to do things, like that can really help. If if it's a friend's situation,
00:15:37
Claire Ketchum
you know, it's really bolstering that, you know, their self-esteem. And so what can you do to help alter their self-esteem? And there's lots of different ways to do that. So it really depends on what's going on. If it's, you know, how you're dealing with parents getting divorced, like the feelings that might be coming up for that, like that would be very different. So it really depends on what the stress is coming from. But generally, ah it all goes back to one of those feelings that I'm not good enough. I'm stupid. Nobody likes me. And usually whatever stress is happening, that's the root feeling. And so helping them sort of identify that root feeling and having strategy around that can also be really helpful.
00:16:20
smandere1
Yeah. Yeah. You know, I've worked with kids for a long time too and directing in theater and choreographing and all of that. And I remember I was in like the restroom. I went, you know, in the stalls and these girls came in this group of girls and this one girl that just came across to me very confident, very, you know, very talented, very well-liked, you know, friends with everybody, you know, I knew it was her because I saw her shoes.
00:16:47
Claire Ketchum
Right, right.
00:16:50
smandere1
Like I know their voices, but I saw the shoes and like I knew exactly and then I was hiding in there because I didn't want them to know I was in there because it's weird when your director walks out of the stall.
00:17:00
Claire Ketchum
Right, right.
00:17:02
smandere1
Oh, God. You know, but um they they she was in there and she was like, I just feel like these she named like these four kids. They all they just hate me.
00:17:12
smandere1
They don't like me. And I was sitting there like What are you, I, that is not what I'm seeing at all.
00:17:18
Claire Ketchum
You know, yeah.
00:17:19
smandere1
You know, and I'm like holding my breath and biting my tongue because I don't want them to know I'm in there, but I also wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but I was then I was, I was locked in, right? It was literally locked in.
00:17:28
Claire Ketchum
yeah Right. Right. Well, that's the thing. Once you have, so you can have an experience that maybe happened, you know, when you were a three or four that makes you feel like people don't like you. And then that sort of becomes a core belief and a core memory. And then you sort of see the world through those glasses.
00:17:48
Claire Ketchum
So you see the world through the nobody likes me glasses. So any little sigh or something that might have nothing to do with you, or they don't even like you interpret that as they don't like me.
00:18:00
Claire Ketchum
And so it's learning to sort of figure out what, what is that core belief that you have?
00:18:00
smandere1
Yeah.
00:18:04
Claire Ketchum
And so maybe you have more than one. And doing some exercises so to to help you be like, oh, like is that true? Is that really true? Like sort of drilling back down to that belief and then clearing the belief. And you it's something that if you can identify it earlier, then you won't have been doing it for as long. Whereas I was um you know in my late 30s when I started to do this work. And so It took a little bit longer to figure it out and to clear all of the things is that had happened along my life that was because I was looking at the world through those glasses.
00:18:40
smandere1
Yeah, totally. Yeah. And you you know, like what you're speaking about too is like, I think some of it is modeling this this work for your kids, right? like
00:18:50
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:18:51
smandere1
That's where I'm so grateful that I found coaching because I had a lot of work to do on myself and my own, my own, you know, mental, you know, I was not raised in like talk about your feelings and, and I was raised in push through.
00:18:57
Claire Ketchum
Yes.
00:19:06
smandere1
I was raised in, you just got to buck up and do it. Right. And so, yeah, it was like, this is what it is kid.
00:19:11
Claire Ketchum
I feel like most of us in our, you know, it's like normal, right?
00:19:16
smandere1
You guys.
00:19:16
Claire Ketchum
yeah If you weren't, I think your parents are probably like a little bit more progressive, which is, you know, great.
00:19:24
smandere1
be then neal But like, how can moms who might be stuck in their own chronic stress loop, right? Maybe they don't know they're stuck in it. But we all know, we all know we're stressed out as moms, we know we're overwhelmed, we know we're stressed out.
00:19:36
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:19:36
smandere1
So how can moms who are in like, maybe that are like we talked about carrying their own beliefs, unhealthy habits and manners of eating or or, or just maybe emotional eating or setting habits for their kids that they probably me don't want, you know, to set like, how can they, how can we, how how can moms kind of get out of that so that they're modeling better behaviors, better and self-confidence, right?
00:20:02
smandere1
I think kids learn self-confidence through watching like the mom has to have self-confidence too, right?
00:20:07
Claire Ketchum
Mm-hmm.
00:20:09
smandere1
Or the dad or the aunt or the uncle or the grandparent, right? that Any role models that they have, like you were a teacher that was role modeling, right? and so
00:20:17
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:20:18
smandere1
how how How can moms start to get out of this chronic stress loop for ourself too?
Role of Moms in Promoting Healthy Habits
00:20:25
Claire Ketchum
Well, if i'm if a mom is also stuck in this loop and is always dieting, then learning how to maintain their own weight and feel positive about their body wherever it is, if they are not happy with their weight, that would be the first step. So figuring out like how do I approach this in a way where I am not counting calories or points or macros, and I can just live my life and be this example of having a healthy relationship with food, not saying negative things about about my body. and you know It's really hard. i I'm not perfect at it. For sure, I definitely still am like, oh, God, I feel so bloated today. like We all say things like that. So I'm not like expecting parents to be perfect, but just
00:21:12
Claire Ketchum
not projecting that you feel bad about your body. like And um you know I grew up with a mother who always said, I've been so bad. Anytime she ate something that had a calorie in it. And so the association that eating food that was you know not nutrient dense was ah made you a bad person.
00:21:31
Claire Ketchum
um And so that was you know that's something that I've broken, and and I don't say that to my kids. So it's like, we just get better as we go. So it's just, what are the things that you say that you wouldn't want your kid to say to themselves? Or what would you, what do you say to yourself that if someone said to your kid, you'd be like,
00:21:47
Claire Ketchum
What do we say to ourselves, sometimes we say out loud in front of our children, ah like, oh, God, I look gross today.
00:21:51
smandere1
yeah
00:22:00
Claire Ketchum
Don't say that in front of your kids, things like that. But if you don't know how to do that, then you know doing the work to figure out how to do that would be what I would recommend you know if you're so if you're still struggling with that yourself.
00:22:10
smandere1
Yeah. Like, yeah, like almost like mama bear yourself, right? Like if mom, yeah ah yeah, that's a thing. Um, and I think too, like, how do you look at yourself in the mirror? Even if you're, if you're like, I never say anything of like, Oh God, I feel so fat or I look fat or I don't look right. But if you look at yourself in the mirror a certain way, right? And look like,
00:22:36
smandere1
or make a sound or make a face, or even just turn to the side, hold up the shirt, look at the belly. like are you Are you looking, critical like if you're doing that and you're doing it in front of your kids, like you know I think that's a way of modeling too, right that self-confidence, that behavior, making sure that even if you're not saying anything, your actions and what you're doing and the food you're putting into your body right and and how you talk
00:22:46
Claire Ketchum
Repair it yourself.
00:22:55
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:23:01
Claire Ketchum
Yeah. Yeah. Like saying, I shouldn't eat that. Versus like, oh, that's like, I've already eaten a lot of rich food today. I'm not going to eat that because I've already had too much. It's going to make me feel sick. Like, it's OK to not eat things that you don't want to eat in front of your kids. But just the way that you can communicate, um if you feel like you need to communicate that.
00:23:24
Claire Ketchum
oh Or just the concept that you know sometimes we eat a little bit more. And then the natural balance of that is to then eat a little bit less other ah other times.
00:23:34
Claire Ketchum
And there's an ebb and flow to everything. And so because I've been eating a lot of look a lot like more food than I normally eat, for a couple days I'm gonna eat a little bit less and I'm gonna balance that out. And just having that be a normal thing versus that I am on a diet because I was so bad this weekend.
00:23:48
smandere1
Yeah.
00:23:50
Claire Ketchum
like' just
00:23:50
smandere1
Right.
00:23:50
Claire Ketchum
like it's just a very so it's not like necessarily that the behavior has to change it's just the way that you're thinking about it is so much more peaceful and relaxing and not stress inducing where you're just thinking like oh yeah i ate a little bit more so yeah now i'm gonna eat a little bit less and yep that's just the flow of life versus like
00:24:06
smandere1
Yeah.
00:24:14
smandere1
Yeah, for sure. And like, especially when dealing with girls and and with moms and women, like women's weight will fluctuate all the hormones and the time of the month and that all all those things, right? So yeah, if it's a pound,
00:24:27
smandere1
I'm like, let that go because that, that could be just, you're going to get your period or something like, you know, or it could just be you're retaining more water today than it could be the hormones.
00:24:34
Claire Ketchum
yeah
00:24:36
smandere1
It could be wherever your progesterone is for the day.
00:24:39
Claire Ketchum
yeah
00:24:40
smandere1
Like it's so it's yeah.
00:24:41
Claire Ketchum
Or it could really be, it could just be, I feel I'm stressed. Like just stress can make you put on weight just ah no matter what you're eating. um And so that is something that I work with with when I work with moms on this.
00:24:57
Claire Ketchum
you know it's It's that stress. like You could lose five pounds but and the only thing you're changing is this is your circumstances and making them less stressful.
Stress Reduction and Health Benefits
00:25:08
smandere1
For sure, yeah.
00:25:10
Claire Ketchum
One of my mom clients, she She was like, and to and i laugh and like yeah, I'm like, that is not true. You created a boundary. You said no. You took time for yourself. I was that's why. She's like, oh. I was like, yes. It makes a huge difference. You think that reducing stress doesn't have an impact on your weight. and e I mean, not necessarily like you know you put you place a boundary around something and automatically you're going to lose five pounds. But for her, it was such a shift.
00:25:43
Claire Ketchum
it just decreased those stress hormones in her body so significantly.
00:25:47
smandere1
Yeah. I feel like releasing and lowering the cortisol levels is an entirely different show, like a whole like ed episode, like we can do do i do hours on chronic stress and cortisol levels, especially like I work with women in the menopause journey right now and cortisol levels are great.
00:25:50
Claire Ketchum
Yes.
00:26:04
smandere1
And we'd get that the visceral fat around our belly and lower the cortisol levels. And that's a big, like I found the somatic movement. I'm doing somatic movement workshops, like trying to help moms in menopause and perimenopause lower their cortisol levels in different ways because you hear lower the stress and you think I've got to take a bubble bath.
00:26:22
smandere1
I'm supposed to be reading books. I'm supposed to be meditating. I should be nature walking. I should write all these things, but ah you don't have, it could be those and it could be so many different things.
00:26:31
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:26:32
smandere1
Not everybody has time. to drive to nature, do a nature walk, come home, take a bubble bath, read a book, like, we don't always have to time every day for that.
00:26:40
Claire Ketchum
Right.
00:26:41
smandere1
But if we can lower our cortisol levels throughout the day in other ways, and some of that, right? Delegating out, asking for help, breathing.
00:26:48
Claire Ketchum
Yes, I know the things when you don't want to do it.
00:26:51
smandere1
Yeah, saying no, holding boundaries, letting go, friends, right?
00:26:53
Claire Ketchum
Like that's for some women that's you know, yeah and imagine if your teen daughter Learned how to do that now
00:27:05
smandere1
Yeah.
00:27:05
Claire Ketchum
And so you know when they're in there, you know when those changes start happening, perimenopause, for me, I was 33 when I started seeing symptoms. So luckily I met with a doctor who told me that was what was going on. And so I you know i've been i felt like I've been on this journey with these fluctuating hormones for a long time.
00:27:25
Claire Ketchum
And it paired well with me starting to do this work and learning how to reduce my stress and all of those strategies that I learned. But if I hadn't been doing that work, I don't know where I would be right now because the stress would have just been escalating escalateating escalating and and then you're making
00:27:35
smandere1
right
00:27:41
Claire Ketchum
teenagers and then maybe have ah elderly, you know aging parents. But if you have these teenagers who are all learning how to regulate their nervous system as a teenager, and that is their go-to habit when they feel stressed, is to regulate their nervous system versus to shove gumballs in their mouth, which is what I did.
00:27:59
smandere1
Right.
00:28:00
Claire Ketchum
like Imagine what they're going to be like at 30.
00:28:04
smandere1
Yeah.
00:28:04
Claire Ketchum
like Imagine what kind of employers they're going to be and parents they're going to be. like They're just going to be so so much better set up to have a happier and healthier life if they learn how to regulate their nervous system without unhealthy in and in and and healthy ways or unhealthy ways. And some teenagers don't necessarily gravitate towards food. Some people you know, they procrastinate or they gossip or they watch TV or they shot.
00:28:28
Claire Ketchum
I mean, there's lots of different ways that this shows up for teens. Just specifically, I work with the ones that, you know, tend to do the food and gain the weight and then that impacts their self-esteem and their confidence.
00:28:31
smandere1
Yeah.
00:28:38
Claire Ketchum
And so, but there's lots of ways this could show up for other teens, for sure.
00:28:42
smandere1
Yeah. So the bottom line, I think in this is like, in a lot of ways, just like in a lot of self work, the more you heal yourself, the more you help heal your kids, right?
00:28:56
smandere1
The more we work on ourself, the better we are for them. And then they're better because we're better. And it is this, like you talked about the chronic stress loop, it's almost this like, becomes like a healthy habit loop, right?
00:29:09
Claire Ketchum
or hundred
00:29:10
smandere1
ah type of Of positivity and healthy habits and confidence and all these things that we want. But it, it kind of sucks to be like, it starts with you, mom.
00:29:17
Claire Ketchum
Yeah,
00:29:20
smandere1
um
00:29:22
Claire Ketchum
yeah it's true.
00:29:23
smandere1
well as I mean, I was super stressed out. few years ago you know We lost my dad and then we lost my mom. And it was a very, very, very rough time. And my husband looked at me at one point and was like, but this all starts with you.
00:29:35
smandere1
like like you You've got to get control of yourself here. And and and I was just in grief, like crazy.
00:29:41
Claire Ketchum
Yeah.
00:29:41
smandere1
and I had to learn. I had to dial back into my self-care. And that's when I found the somatic movement. And that really helped heal me because Talk therapy doesn't work for me.
00:29:52
smandere1
I like coaching. I like strategy. I like i move my body. I grew up a dancer, an athlete. like I am aesthetic and movement-based. So for me to move my body and flow through where we hold trauma in our body to release it, like a lot of times I'll do the movement and then I'll just cry.
00:30:07
Claire Ketchum
Uh oh.
00:30:07
smandere1
And it's a release. It's a release. It's not i'm not sad. i'm not I'm just like, it's I don't know why I'm crying. I'm just crying. And I'm a mess. But like it's just release.
00:30:15
Claire Ketchum
Yeah, you're really stiff from
Methods of Stress Relief
00:30:16
Claire Ketchum
your body. and there's And that's the beautiful thing is is that you know when you work with a teen is helping them figure out what it, like for you, it was somatic for me, it was EFT tapping. That was the strategy that I really gravitated toward and loved. And flipping back on it, like I was a big thumb sucker and I would tap.
00:30:36
Claire Ketchum
my um under my nose when I suck my thumb and like rub and so it makes sense that the tapping like was very calming to me because I had done it my whole life not knowing that that's what I was doing um and even my friends were like yeah you like I would like tap my pillow and so for me that was mine and it's helping it's really helping your teen figure out what is it for them
00:30:57
smandere1
yeah
00:30:57
Claire Ketchum
because it's going to be different for everybody.
00:30:57
smandere1
yeah
00:30:58
Claire Ketchum
For my husband, it's biking. When he's on his bike, it's very like that's where he processes all his emotions and gets it all out. um For me, that's going on a 40 mile bike ride is not going to make me feel less stressed out.
00:31:11
Claire Ketchum
It's not going to work for me. But so that's just like there's no one way to do it. ah You just have to figure out what's right for you.
00:31:18
smandere1
Yeah.
00:31:18
Claire Ketchum
But just, you know, I remember my son when I first started doing the emotional freedom technique and I was really mad about something and he's like, Mom, I think you need to go do some tasks. And I was like, yeah, I think you're right.
00:31:30
smandere1
Yeah, I have.
00:31:31
Claire Ketchum
So they see it. They see that it's impacting you and helping you probably in their mind. It's just like, you're just being a nicer mom, but really what you're doing is you're regulating your own emotions um so that, you you know, you can show up for your kids better.
00:31:44
smandere1
Yes.
00:31:45
Claire Ketchum
And that's good for everybody.
00:31:47
smandere1
Awesome. Yeah. My husband likes the bike rides too. I think that he decompresses and pro and just thinks through things is going on. It's bike rider bike rides around, around the house. I haven't a hole in season one.
00:31:59
smandere1
I did a whole episode, um, with Nancy, Linda Ruth on EFT tapping. So if people aren't learning more about that, they can go to that episode.
00:32:04
Claire Ketchum
Perfect.
00:32:07
smandere1
it's on YouTube too because it's so visual like visual I was like she's tapping her eyebrow now she's tapping her collarbone and people were like I can't follow I'm like I'll put it on YouTube don't worry about it so it's that's on YouTube if you need to see it but um there's lots of other other EFT tappings on YouTube too this has been so great I love I love this conversation and
00:32:10
Claire Ketchum
Yes. Yes. Perfect.
00:32:28
smandere1
And, you know, not to put more on mom's plate because they feel like reducing your stress, lowering your cortisol levels, healing yourself should not feel like, like, Oh God, one more thing on my to do list.
00:32:40
smandere1
You know what I mean? It should be fun and easy.
00:32:41
Claire Ketchum
No.
00:32:43
smandere1
And, and, and you should just feel like this is something you get to do. Know that it's good. for you and for your kids, and then if your kids are struggling, they can reach out to someone like you, Claire, and they can they and you know get get some support because we need support.
00:32:54
Claire Ketchum
Absolutely. absolutely
00:32:59
smandere1
So where can people find you? um Instagram? Do you have a website? Where can people find you?
Connect with Claire Ketchum
00:33:06
Claire Ketchum
The best place to find me is on my is on my website. It's ah just clareketchum.com. um But I am on Instagram, and that's clareketchum.ck. So either place is a great place to connect with me, for sure.
00:33:17
smandere1
and and It's Claire, C-L-A-I-R-E, and catching is K-E-T-C-H-U-M, like ketchup, but with an M, right?
00:33:20
Claire Ketchum
Yes.
00:33:24
Claire Ketchum
Correct.
00:33:26
Claire Ketchum
Yes. And none of my students ever call me Mrs.
00:33:28
smandere1
It never happened.
00:33:30
Claire Ketchum
Ketchum. Never.
00:33:33
Claire Ketchum
Never.
00:33:35
smandere1
but I love it. I love it. It's easy to remember. I'm like word association. It's easy. Easy to remember.
00:33:41
Claire Ketchum
Yes, perfect.
00:33:41
smandere1
I so appreciate this conversation. Thank you so much for being on and sharing all your wisdom and time and go follow for tips and and reach out to Claire if you if you want help with your, your teens, right?
00:33:44
Claire Ketchum
Absolutely.
00:33:54
smandere1
Going through all the stuff they're going through. We need, we need to, sometimes we've got to call in the experts and resources. So I'm all about that.
00:34:00
Claire Ketchum
Absolutely. Perfect. Well, thanks so much for having me.
00:34:03
smandere1
All right.
00:34:03
Claire Ketchum
I appreciate it.
00:34:05
smandere1
Yeah. Thank you. And we will see you in the next episode.