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00:00:01
Make Me A Millionaire
25 Plays2 months ago
"The Pieces" talk down to their old friend Paul to make him realize he's a POS too. It turns out Paul already knew he was a POS and apparently he's been one for a long time, especially when it comes to money.
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Transcript
The Allure of Bitcoin
00:00:00
Speaker
Bro, I'm not gonna fucking lie, the only thing you really need in life is Bitcoin. More Bitcoin. Buy Bitcoin, hold Bitcoin, never sell Bitcoin. If you don't own Bitcoin, there will be nothing for you in life. Bitcoin's going to the moon, it's going up, it'll never go down. Only up. Own Bitcoin.
00:00:16
Speaker
You don't need anything else in life, you need nothing. You don't need a house, you don't need furniture, you need Bitcoin. I'm not fucking lying, bro. I'm telling you, Bitcoin is gonna go and never stop.
00:00:27
Speaker
We get the government buying Bitcoin, And we get every human on this earth buying Bitcoin, never selling Bitcoin, holding Bitcoin for eternity. And Bitcoin will be so high. You will be so rich.
00:00:38
Speaker
Bro, bro, bro, bro. Bitcoin, Bitcoin.
00:00:48
Speaker
Well, I
Reunion with Paul
00:00:49
Speaker
gotta give you credit, Paul, because I haven't seen you in a really long time. But knowing the old Paul that I knew, i have a feeling that this might make you a little nervous. And so big props to you for jumping on and exposing yourself yeah yeah like this.
00:01:05
Speaker
How do I look? You look the same, would really do. don't know if you like that or not. but you like yeah That's what I was fishing for. No, you have zero wrinkles. Yeah, not a lot of sun.
00:01:16
Speaker
No? Yeah, you're a little pale. Yeah, that makes sense. Keeps the face tight, though. Does not look like a boat owner. It's great to see you, dude. I miss you, man.
00:01:27
Speaker
I know, me too. it's But I haven't seen you in, mean, we reconnected once in the last 25 years. I feel like, or maybe twice. You came to St. Louis.
00:01:37
Speaker
You were in the grind of being a ah ah dad, a young dad, I believe. That was probably early, what, 09, 10, 11, something like that? Did i already have kids? and Yeah, it was even, yeah, that sounds about right.
00:01:51
Speaker
And then I'm pretty sure gonna set this up to try and get some some real nice comments showered on me. I drove up to maybe Janesville, Wisconsin to perform.
00:02:02
Speaker
Yes, you did. in ah but In someone's basement, it felt like. Yeah, it it was. It was a club. was a
Comedy and College Nostalgia
00:02:09
Speaker
DFW hall? It was a club. thought it was a club. They might be right.
00:02:12
Speaker
maybe it was ah Maybe it was an Elks club It was an Elks Club, yeah. And yeah, it was something like that, but it was like the greatest show in my life. And the headliner was a black dude who was super nice, but he was doing, this was like in the 2000s, he was doing Forrest Gump impersonations. yeah I thought i was I was so hot shit, I was like, I was just like, you can't be doing that.
00:02:33
Speaker
It's like doing Reagan or something. He called me Peyton Manning in at that show, I remember. Oh, yeah, a little bit. little yeah Really? I thought it was just because was white. So he was just like... But you had I remember you killed that show. That was really fun.
00:02:46
Speaker
That's all I wanted to hear. He's yours, Lance. he's your Yeah, I lit this basement up, and it was so good. Usually when you have an old friend come, it's the fucking worst experience of your life. Oh, really? And I was just like, that's how it is, Paul.
00:02:59
Speaker
I just destroy. That's how it is. Pretty good. But anyways, my background is Paul and I moved into the Cheyenne Arapaho dorm as as sophomores, losers, like mid mid-year transfers at University of Colorado.
00:03:15
Speaker
Short, Cheyenne Arapaho, we used to say, call it shy-ho. She's a shy-ho, but I love her anyways. Paul, what'd you think of this guy when you met him?
00:03:27
Speaker
was like, look at that fucking hair. Did I have a fro back then? Yeah. we I remember we hit it off like almost instantly. We we were said something about the freak shows we saw walking around. and We were geeks. And thought it was pretty funny.
00:03:43
Speaker
We were geeks coming in late, right? We were kind of like, and we weren't really bolder people either. Well, remember the clothes at the time? It was the giant fucking jeans, like those just enormous legged jeans. and all the girls were wearing this patchwork quilts around.
00:03:59
Speaker
and Really? Yeah. It was just like fucking horrid. Yeah. No, you you were fresh out of the fricking military. You're fresh out of the air force Academy. And I was in the middle of fucking nowhere playing baseball. We were, we were like, yep. I was fresh out of dropping out of there. So yep. I came here and just came to see you and just got fat.
00:04:21
Speaker
But we had a good time, and we had a good a good run, and we stayed friends for for a long time. But I will say this. I believe you're the fourth member who's for for fourth guest that's been in a band with Lance, right?
00:04:36
Speaker
Or third. Yeah. I don't know. And that many. And it was the classic, I believe, you guys can talk about it, I'll shut up, but I think it was just like, oh, you play drums? Like, that's how most bands are started. Like, some guy has a drum kit, right? Yeah, he saw it, and I had it in that room, and that in that old shithole we lived in. God, dude. 17th. Can you imagine being our neighbors in that place?
00:04:56
Speaker
Well, but was the kid? Who was the kid that played guitar and was friends with you guys? He was kind of a too-cool-for-school kind of kid? Caleb? ah hey daylight that one of That was the other house. That was the next year. oh yeah it was like a duplex with that guy. That first house, on like right next- 18th?
00:05:16
Speaker
Yeah, like two blocks away from JonBenet. When I was going to call it the JonBenet house. That's what i how I remember it. You guys know I was i don't want to i don't want the FBI coming out down my ass, but I was there that night because I worked at that bank.
00:05:29
Speaker
I was like the only other person in Boulder. was like me, the killer, and JonBenet. all the All the students had left, you know, because it went off. And I had to go. I worked at a bank, so i still had to work. So I was up there.
00:05:41
Speaker
That's what everyone asks me when i if that ever comes up. They're like, oh, where were you? It's like, yeah, no, no, I saw him. Oh, my God. So you really don't have an alibi, do you No.
00:05:52
Speaker
like I think I might have i mightve got... obliterated drunk with ah one of our friends and his friends. Mad dog, I'll call him. and That'll help in court.
00:06:05
Speaker
Yeah, well, at least the bartender would be like, oh, yeah, he was belligerent. I don't know. I might have been underage. um But i'd take that I'd take an underage MIP for a
Paul's Journey to Sobriety
00:06:14
Speaker
homicide. i would trade it out, I think.
00:06:16
Speaker
Yeah, that's crazy. It's good to see you, Paul. Good to see you, buddy. Are you still playing drums, by the way? I still have the kit, but I don't regularly play it. Do have kids? Anybody get that music? That's the other thing. Of course they don't. Like everything else, they fucking don't take instruction from me. They don't want anything to do with that. So I try to get them to, you know, the girls I want, like hey, you could be the cool drummer chick.
00:06:43
Speaker
And the boy, same thing. Come on, man. like And they just they refuse. Just never got into it. Idiot. It's like one of the only talents I have, so come on.
00:06:54
Speaker
You tried though? You sat him down? yeah Yeah. what yeah What's your biggest source of feeling like a piece of shit? Is it that you don't play drums anymore?
00:07:06
Speaker
And just because you're on this show, I want to know. Yeah, I was thinking about that. Come clean. As to why I'm a piece of shit. Well, I i kind of already got into it a little bit in the pre-show of why I think I'm a piece of shit. that just that i I've tended to follow the same kind of patterns that that the Chads and the Karens are in this country seem to follow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:33
Speaker
Of buying shit we can't afford.
00:07:37
Speaker
But yeah, well not playing drums, that's up there too. That's up there? Wow. That's up there what's up there. Yeah, you know, just the... That's fixable, dude. That's fixable, I believe. But I still, I mean, I still play them. i still can play them. I just don't.
00:07:51
Speaker
We could have been good, dude. We could have been good, actually. Life's not over, fellas. The other Paul was a fairly good songwriter, although he was cocky and didn't work hard.
00:08:02
Speaker
Fuck you, Paul. Other Paul. Zal. Where is Zal? Have you seen him? i Not for quite a while, but I had over the years. yeah What was the original members of that that bitch? U2, Paul, was that it? Was it a three-piece? Jacksonian era. He was in it? when When did you break out Helicopter? Was that with that band? no was that No, that was before. I love that song, man. this was I can't hear Land Down Under without thinking of lands. Land Down Under. You guys were a cover band?
00:08:35
Speaker
No, that was one that was just one cover we did. You guys had me bang out some ACDC somebody did. i remember at a party. We only played a few shows. Yeah.
00:08:45
Speaker
No, but it was fun, man. I enjoyed It fun. It was something I always wanted to do, and and got it got it started for me. Yeah. I mean, we spent a lot of time practicing. We sure did. Laughing. my room. Remember that studio or that shitty space then? I can't believe you guys allowed that.
00:09:04
Speaker
Oh, wait, we were fine. There was a family like because the houses were right like within maybe six feet of that room. There was a family. They were cool, but they were like, oh, that had to suck. That summer was like debauchery every night and and not even like we're that crazy partying relative to other college kids, but like you guys practicing every night and then we'd end up drinking and smoking down. And did you like that time, Paul? Did you like that experience? Or I mean, was it like, it's a big
Life Decisions and Financial Management
00:09:32
Speaker
part of your life? Like when you think about, yeah.
00:09:34
Speaker
Yeah, no, it was, it was for sure. Cause it was huge for me. I was like, oh, this is cool. Like where I, when we first got on stage, I'm like, wow, this is, I never imagined. And then my dream was, was smashed because it was like, I'm going to go home for the summer and get like a internship at like a law firm.
00:09:54
Speaker
Just something, just some bullshit that didn't go anywhere anyway. And so I didn't continue on with the band. All to keep your wife, your your your girlfriend, now wife, like feeling like she respects you.
00:10:08
Speaker
Yes. I like the tone of this show right now. I like it's going pretty negative and I i love it. ah heart It should. We're all kind of self-deprecating, so I think it'll – We got it out. out We're like 100 episodes. He's just getting it out in 10 minutes. he yeah We got to bleed it out.
00:10:24
Speaker
That's right. I've listened to like 75 hours or something of you guys, so I've probably heard it. but we I love it. we got I mean, how many people are as dedicated as you the show? I think like four or five.
00:10:37
Speaker
Yeah. People come and go. But, I mean, there's people that – we have more way more listeners than that, I'll say. But I'm just saying the people that are just on it every week, like Jonathan, I can name you, Marty.
00:10:49
Speaker
We lost one of the – actually, we lost both of the Dugs because one of them got serious radio. He told me not to tell you, Lance, like like you're going to trash him on air. But he's like, I'll get back. I'll get back. ah So, but it's pretty sweet, Paul.
00:11:02
Speaker
And if if I honestly – it sounds ridiculous, but if – If you really feel like what us talking about this bullshit has helped you, then good enough for me. Yeah, the it does for sure. and i mean I'll just throw it out there. I've been on the old wagon now for about seven months, I think. and A huge part of that was the show, having listening to Matt. I think it was was it Jake that came on talked about stuff. People love the Jake episode. Yeah, and
00:11:35
Speaker
And I mean, i remember one thing he said that stuck with me was, You know anytime the you look around and once once the cost seems to outweigh the benefit, you really have to ask yourself, is this, you know, something you need?
00:11:49
Speaker
And so at that point I was like, let me, let's try it. ah and that i'm on Congratulations, dude. Yeah. Thanks. You have a Jones at all? or i got, after a few months, i I was like, why would I even drink? But do you have, are you Jones then or what?
00:12:04
Speaker
Yeah. yeah there There's grad parties like that have come up and I feel so dull. Yeah. Oh yeah, so good though. No, like it doesn't last long, but it's it's still there of course.
00:12:16
Speaker
but But no, then i then I kind of am like, this is good for me to be honest. It's like, it's a crutch maybe that I don't need. And at the, after like a year, I want to look back and just be like, do I need it or do I continue not needing it?
00:12:30
Speaker
And anything could happen, but I think anyway, just as an aside, but yeah. Well, what's your social approach? Sorry interrupt. What's your social approach without it? How is it different?
00:12:41
Speaker
Oh, I just go into a corner and ball up and start kind of. Good, good. That's good. It's been great. It's, it's, ah it's actually been more freeing than, than I thought it would be.
00:12:56
Speaker
And I guess it really, it kind of depends on how, ah how everyone else is doing as far as how far, how far along they are, as you know, ah to kind of reflect that and get crazier. But,
00:13:08
Speaker
To be honest, it's not been nearly as hard as I would have imagined it would be. Exactly. Especially for somebody like me, you know? Dude. What do you mean, like you? I don't get that. Just more of an introvert.
00:13:19
Speaker
Oh, I got And part of that, of course, would be like, Yeah, booze is great for that. I was like more of a closeted gay man. may needs the liquor. yeah does does does ah Does being sober put you closer to your gay sexuality or push you farther? ah i Definitely closer to it.
00:13:43
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like once you stop drinking – you're kind of like, I mean, not that I wasn't raging out. If someone's like, yeah, you know what? You're probably get, you're like, yeah, whatever. It's fine.
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to hide anymore. It's burying everything. Yeah. You're just like, yeah, I'll take that. You think I'm, I take it as a compliment. Yeah. Like have have you ever met a gay guy you don't want to be? Right. I mean, no.
00:14:05
Speaker
answer is no. And then you pull that tariff dildo out of your ass and you hand it back to Lance. Oh, yeah. I can't blame the booze anymore. Right. I just like the way it feels. But you don't. Go Go ahead. No, you go ahead. Okay. Well, but you don't have to hide anymore is what you're saying. Sure. And you're on here. We're going to talk about finance. Mm-hmm.
00:14:25
Speaker
what the future is for you in that sense. But what what a win though. I mean, talk about being a piece of shit, but then you just had a huge win. so Yeah. Well, I had to have something. I couldn't show up empty handed. You've always been like,
00:14:41
Speaker
deep
Transitions and Parenting Philosophies
00:14:42
Speaker
and self analysis, even back in college, like ah planning your day, planning, like just, just what like pacing around, paced around thinking. And so I, which I think is fine. I don't think i was necessarily like, but I think you're, yeah, you're probably like,
00:14:58
Speaker
ah you're in a good place your life or a bad place your life, you're, you, I don't know if you say overthinking, but you really think shit through a lot. I used to, but I've kind of detached almost too much, but I'm like, I don't think about anything anymore. Yeah. But this show has changed that for you guys. I mean, my God, you, you, you spent countless hours thinking aloud and thinking. Right. But that's almost like, that's it.
00:15:20
Speaker
It's like for the week. It's just like, all right, for sure. done you know Yeah. If I was you, I'd do the same thing. i would just, turn into a zombie army paul that's what pos is you are us but yeah we're getting more time in the most men but like you so paul he's a smart kid man this guy i remember like going that dude is smart and you can't get into the fucking air force academy like you gotta bust ass in high school right Well, what a terrible fit for you.
00:15:50
Speaker
What a terrible fit. Now, I mean, having met you, I'm just like, really? Yeah, well, that's what happens when you are doing things for other people and not yourself. And who was that for? Dad?
00:16:00
Speaker
Mom? Oh, yeah, I'd say, yeah, for parents, for community, to look like- Brett Favre. Look like the golden boy. And yeah, and that that's kind of, ah not to like get too much in the weeds with with that, but that' that's kind of been ah a thing for me.
00:16:18
Speaker
um It happened again, going to Wash you for an MBA, that didn't happen. so um Right? So doing things because I thought that they would be good to do and not really taking a close enough and good enough look look inside before you do that.
00:16:40
Speaker
And so You're not alone there, my friend. A lot of people do that, but yeah. yeah yeah What you about Colorado? like When you got out of the Air Force Academy, that was like the first major move in your life do you feel like you did for yourself?
00:16:52
Speaker
That's a fucking big deal to put all that work in the get to get into the Air Force Academy and then being like, I'm going to see you, which is a good school, but more of a party school than the Air Force, I feel like, just a little bit.
00:17:02
Speaker
I think part of that was because it was one of the only places I could transfer in at that next semester. Yeah. Looking back, I mean, I could have taken a semester off and then maybe gone to UW or gone somewhere else.
00:17:17
Speaker
But i that was on my short list anyway, even in high school. So I took the opportunity to But that was a you decision, I guess. like It was. Yeah. yeah And a damn good thing I did.
00:17:30
Speaker
Yeah. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here. Wow. Right. On this podcast. That's right. Getting it out. Wow. And Lance would have never continued on with music and then he would have never retired early.
00:17:41
Speaker
So it's all connected. It's crazy. It's crazy, dude. It's so crazy that your decision to leave the Air Force Academy is why I surf. Yeah. i' say So did you ever have that, Lance? Did you ever feel like you doing stuff for other people? i never I never feel like you ever did that, but everyone says the other person doesn't seem that way, but everyone feels like that. you feel like that?
00:18:03
Speaker
Well, I went to that Air Force prep to play football and had a chance to maybe go in, although they recommended I didn't directly, and I'm glad I didn't, but I did that just because my dad was a colonel, and it was very like people were excited.
00:18:19
Speaker
Well, people are like, oh, you're a football player, dude. And people just assumed it was direct into the academy anyway, so forever i could just be I wasn't, you know. And and ah yeah, I thought I was living up to something that I had no interest in No interest.
00:18:34
Speaker
I had zero interest and planes and fucking Air Force dynamics and the culture of that, any of that. I mean, I couldn't have told you why I was there. It was just this idea that I could but play Division I football, which if you look at me as a joke.
00:18:48
Speaker
So, you know, we've all been there at some point, but- Not true. Yeah. I mean, I've tried to guide my own kid. I'm just like, dude, it's, you don't have to live up to any of that. Just what you, what you're feeling is what will help you support or help support for you.
00:19:02
Speaker
So hopefully your kids will feel that, you know, that they're not getting that pressure that you felt. Yeah. And I mean, I think that kind of leads in a little bit to what we were talking about is is this idea that if you grow up with with with your parents or whoever saying, get into the best school, get the best grades, look for the highest paying job, get the best job.
00:19:27
Speaker
You're going to tell that to your kids and i'm I'm starting to question if that's, that's, that's even right or valid anymore and, or important or any of that. So, you know, get, get good grades, get, get into the best school because you need to get the highest paying job. That's the only way you're going to make any money.
00:19:45
Speaker
How are you viewing that? Because there is a line of like, oh, well, you need to take care of yourself. But then sure there's also this like, well, capitalism does leave you in some ways empty handed or, um you know, disillusioned. So how do you how are you reconciling that?
00:20:01
Speaker
Yeah, it's tough. I
Capitalism and Career Shifts
00:20:02
Speaker
mean, capitalism is is a truly a double edged sword that like, can provide opportunities to anyone in a way.
00:20:13
Speaker
And then you've got unregulated capitalism in form of corporations where it's just out of hand and you've got, you know, like. You're going to set Lance off. Yeah, I'm trying, you know, it's like what happened to the living wage? If I look at to my own salary, it's like, it hasn't changed a whole lot over the last 10 years, to be honest.
00:20:36
Speaker
Right. And so, yeah, so as I as my girls are going to college or and one is started, um do I continue with that thought process that you need to, you know, stay in this tunnel?
00:20:50
Speaker
Or should i be encouraging just other creativity or just other ways that maybe she could make money down the road? Like without, i don't know, getting a professional job specifically.
00:21:05
Speaker
Do you either your kids know, uh, any them know what, I mean, you always find the people that know what they want to do. Like that and makes it easy for them. But do any of them have like, I know I want to be a vet or I want to be a, cause I think the three of us maybe are still figuring it out what we want to do.
00:21:21
Speaker
I am anyways. Uh, but like besides being, I probably should have been just doing standup, but that doesn't matter. But, but, uh, Yeah, either any of your kids know what they want to do?
00:21:31
Speaker
I mean, personally, yeah my kids, two of them I know, the the younger two will know exactly what they want to do. The one that's in college now, she's not going to have any idea.
00:21:42
Speaker
And she's going to so she's going to spit back something that she thinks already that we want to hear, like, oh, healthcare, oh dentist, sure. There's no way she's going to be a dentist. There's no way. yeah I know her.
00:21:53
Speaker
She's too much like me. There's just no way. And so, yeah, she's going to be undeclared or or not declare a major, I bet. And then at the last minute, she's going to have to. and And so, yeah, I need to already think about kind of how I'm going to deal with that and and kind of the advice that I need to give her. Would call that boomerang kid or something like that?
00:22:13
Speaker
that what they call it? A boomerang kid or something like after college, they come back. They still have that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, all the social constraints aside, dude, what was your dream?
00:22:25
Speaker
Like, what was your, like your lane where you, was it writing or, so I mean, you're a thoughtful dude. I imagine it's something creative ish. Um, I didn't find it until, until much later.
00:22:37
Speaker
And, and like, and I think I, I kind of did find it. It's that we, what I'm doing now is as a mechanical designer allows me to, to create things like on the computer and, and, uh,
00:22:51
Speaker
anything I can imagine really. And, that's good and 3d printed to be honest. playing wow So that, that kind of pushed me into this from after having kind of bounced around, not fully knowing what I wanted to do.
00:23:08
Speaker
I eventually got there where, you know, the idea of almost, almost inventing things ah was appealing. And, and how would, how do you go about that?
00:23:20
Speaker
And, and then kind of fell into it. So you are actively like coming up with different products? have, yeah. But it's a lot harder than, i mean, that that's kind of more of about the the hobby side, but I have, yeah. I have come up with, a you know, a couple things that that might actually be good, but.
00:23:39
Speaker
Industrial application, consumer, like what are you. Yeah, like consumer, but yeah but once you realize that it's just because you can conceptualize something doesn't mean you can make it, so.
00:23:51
Speaker
if it If it's gonna cost X to make and you'd have to sell it, it's no business. So. yeah to Am I right that you had a, you had a stamp as a, you invented your own product that you were trying to work on like maybe 10 or 15 years ago?
00:24:07
Speaker
yeah that's where that for hanging pictures or something Yeah. That's what started it. That's what started the whole cascade of events is I i was working at a bank, which I had just fallen into after leaving the Wash you and like like quit that job and stayed home with,
00:24:27
Speaker
with two kids to try to kind of pursue this crazy invention. And, and in the course of doing that, ended up going back for a two year degree in mechanical design, which kind of fit nicely with what, what I wanted to do, which was to, you know, model up products and things and use software to kind of take a concept and, and make it into a tangible thing like a prototype so great so yeah it was kind of a it was kind of a crazy pinball type deal but I once I once I found it it felt right so over the last 10 years that's kind of you know I work for a company where I do that so but you're falling into things I think it's a great life
00:25:18
Speaker
Well, that's a success story I just heard, the path of walking around. you took a risk, so to speak, and then you found a passion through it. Whether whether it was selling a product or not, it still yielded results, right? It did, yeah. led You could say all led to a new career, which it did.
00:25:35
Speaker
But who has a life that there isn't floundering? Do you have friends, Paul, that they're just like eminently, persistently successful? Lance, I'm looking at one. No, I fucking hate it i'm I'm looking at two because as far as I'm concerned. Oh, but that's the podcast aura.
00:25:53
Speaker
and Matt's controlling his his destiny. His Sander is what I'm controlling. And you're retired. So, no, I mean, yes, of course, everyone is going to have floundered to a certain degree, but Yeah, I don't know.
00:26:09
Speaker
what's What's the standard flounder um timeline? Like how many years do you do it? Right, before you're like a loser? or Yeah, exactly. and Yeah, I don't know.
00:26:21
Speaker
You wouldn't believe, dude, though. like I mean, well, you would believe. But let's say if I – you hear Lance, you had heard the episodes. But now – so he made that move and he's wrestling kind of like what do what do I do now? So we spend our whole life trying to retire. Then retires. It's like okay, what am I going to do?
00:26:36
Speaker
right are you Or in my case, you're like, oh, there's something that done for this business we're trying to start up. And i'm kind of looking around. It's like, oh, yeah, that's me. i got It's me Oh, we don't have any...
00:26:47
Speaker
whatever paper towels in the off. Oh, no, that's me. So, so it's never perfect, but, not right no but, uh, you know, I don't know. I wouldn't say we're all, we're all on the right path. Yeah. Yeah. But as, as I, as I hear that and, you know, hear what you're saying, i think I'm starting to, to just question what, what is important when it, when it comes to money, um, is, is time important as control more important. Um,
00:27:17
Speaker
You know, because I look at Lance and i mean he's retired. That's because he had his shit so together that he was able to do that. And Matt, I look at you and. i was forced.
00:27:29
Speaker
you might be forced, but like you are still in control. Like you're not, you're not shackling yourself to the desk for, for five days a week. You are in control and that there's a,
Financial Management Challenges
00:27:42
Speaker
that's important. And I'm starting to realize it's more important than maybe I had thought about before. So.
00:27:47
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's talk money then. Yeah. Let's do it. Let's talk money because you came on here wanting to talk money and your email intro for the listeners was, can Lance make me a millionaire? And, you know, Matt said. thought that was going to be just a great title for this episode, but you'll probably change it. might. It might be. Yeah, we'll see.
00:28:09
Speaker
So Matt and I talked about it a little bit. We're like, hell yeah, let's do it. And, you know, he's here to listen and maybe throw in a few jokes, but no, I'm kidding. um But your situation is this, because we did the pre-show.
00:28:21
Speaker
Your situation, it sounds like it's this. You guys make a good living. Your wife makes a good professional income. You make a good living together. You guys probably have... a pretty high income and you also sounds like you've spent most of it and continue to spend most of it um not saying you're living paycheck to paycheck but you're you're definitely spending your money and you're wondering what they're going to be to show for it you have this very complex financial instrument of a mortgage that we're just not going to get into because it's it's kind of weird for the broader public but essentially it
00:28:54
Speaker
it can really get you into trouble and keep you from maybe paying down that the debt and the mortgage that you you probably should. And you also, it sounds like you've got some college coming up for lots of kids and you know there's some decisions some decisions to be made and you're just trying to figure out like, what do I do with all that?
00:29:15
Speaker
Because that- summer you feel like you're not getting ahead. Yeah. Yeah. What's it all for? It's, that yeah, that, that sums it up. It's, it's this idea that, you know, we seem to be doing all right, but it, you know, we can barely stay above water and it's like, where, where's the money going?
00:29:33
Speaker
Like what's happening? And are we just that bad with it? Who manages it? In the house, you or youngest daughter, youngest daughter, the dog, Siri manager. No, um, I do, I guess you manage it.
00:29:53
Speaker
Okay. And is there tension with respect to how you manage it? No, because I don't manage it with a like strongly enough. i mean I manage it in terms of watching it and where it goes.
00:30:06
Speaker
that's so that yeah Managing is ah is probably the wrong word. You watch it. Yeah. like There's no managing. There's no budgeting. That B word doesn't exist in this house. Is anybody else in your family stressed about it?
00:30:20
Speaker
ah My wife, when I make her stressed about it. You tell her, hey, we're not doing so good then. She stresses or something like that. Yeah, and then we go through this other period where if we don't look at it, the bad stuff doesn't exist.
00:30:34
Speaker
Oh, it's a classic. It's classic. Yeah, it's classic. It's classic avoidance. It's like a boundary, of a boundary issue in a way, but not like because they're taking advantage. It's just the whole thing is like the boundary of addressing it and putting in some limits and rules and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, and I think, and I don't want to get in trouble with her too much, but like I think growing up, I don't know what her financial situation was but she definitely kind of takes the tack now that these kids are going to be for want of nothing like that we're not going to we're not going to neglect any opportunities for them we're you know we're usa we're not going to say no a lot more right and
00:31:20
Speaker
And, you know, yeah, it could be activities. It could be vacations. It could, you know, she's really big on memories and and that they're going to remember this kind of stuff with us.
00:31:32
Speaker
Fucking ridiculous. God damn. And so. It's kind of like, you know, sacrifice this, that. I don't want to live like that. And so. Yeah.
00:31:42
Speaker
yeah Right. Within reason. But she is also reasonable. So yeah if given the right argument, I think I can maybe change things. Great woman. Great woman. You got there. Yeah. Finish right there. Yeah.
00:31:58
Speaker
Dude. I'll let Lance answer, but I'll tell you this. What I've learned is since the separation is like I live in a, not a great place. i don't go really go out to eat much anymore. My kids, but we have like so many, in my opinion, maybe when they get older, they're like, man, those years sucked. But I'm like, we have, we made so many cool memories, so to speak in the last few years. It wasn't, I mean, we went a few years ago, we went to Europe and that's obviously an amazing memory, but we're just hanging out, dude. It's like, we've, we've been able to make a lot of memories without, uh,
00:32:34
Speaker
spending a lot of money, but I do feel like it's probably easier down down there because there's so much social pressure up here for your kids. Like, ah, we just sat inside and then they went to like their high school in the US, s people would be like.
00:32:46
Speaker
No, that tension though that you're bringing up, Matt, is like constant. With kids? Well, just the idea that ah we need to make memories, life is short.
00:32:57
Speaker
And I just don't think, I think where people go wrong is it's it's not a mutually exclusive proposition to, you know, to make memories doesn't equal not managing your money.
00:33:08
Speaker
and being in financial disarray. um You do both. And I think nobody's, the the first one, the managing money is so hard. It's so hard to first have a conversation about it. But Paul, you'd be shocked at the level that I manage money to this day. the the It is it is so hands-on, it is daily.
00:33:27
Speaker
It's a very clear accounting of every everything all the time. And I think it's disgusting to a lot of people. It's like, oh, you're taking the fun out of life. But then I always know like in my wife, I'm just like, dude, no, we got a bucket for that. So like, you know, what are you what are you worried about?
00:33:45
Speaker
It's managed. We're good. And that to me is like a sense of control that like, I don't know that I could go back and not live with, but like. Stress relief, not a stress creator. Yeah, exactly. So when I hear you guys don't like have a budget or you're not talking, like I get real stressed for you because. is lance out I get stressed for you because I know that that.
00:34:06
Speaker
There's just a ton of conversations that need to happen to get to a place of actual reality. And that's the only place to start. And you talk to any financial professional, if you and it doesn't matter what your income is, like even very wealthy people, they still think in those terms.
00:34:22
Speaker
They just have bigger buckets, like their vacation buckets, 85, 200,000, whatever. But like we all have to do it. And so like there's this feeling though that it's taking away the joy out of life.
00:34:34
Speaker
lot of people feel that. And I think that's that can be problematic. I don't know what you think about that. Yeah, I mean, um I don't think I necessarily think that it would take any joy out of life to manage money. I think I would be interested in in doing that. i don't i don't mind i don't mind that aspect of it. I think getting buy-in for a budget would be the first step like because getting us both to spend time saying, listen, this is how we you know this is where we're at. this is This is what we have. Here's what we need to do with it.
00:35:14
Speaker
And that's another another reason that I'm tapping your insight is is, you know, budgeting is one thing, but rather than work for money, is there ways that we should be looking to make our money work for us?
00:35:32
Speaker
Well, yeah, but how the fuck would you know what money can go work for you without a budget? So that's like, I'm not being condescending. I'm just like, it everybody's looking. Yeah, start with the budget. It's so common to like look money.
00:35:47
Speaker
for these ethereal, very like high order type of solutions. I'll just tell you how sick and twisted I am. Like if I have a budget and the Excel energy bill comes in under $40 of what I projected it would be from last year, and this will tell you the detail level.
00:36:09
Speaker
Over the years, I had taken that $40 and I would siphon it right into investment. And emily it just gives you an example of like, think of that mindset. But so now imagine you have a goal with your wife of like, okay, so we want to fund the kids college and then we need to like get our retirement beefed up.
00:36:27
Speaker
And that this is, let's just come up with something that that means to us. Like I want to have a million dollars in our by time we're 65. You, you can't get there.
00:36:40
Speaker
You can't get anywhere close without a very accurate budget. Starting first steps. You have to like, you need to, you Paul needs to go to his computer and pull out all the expenses ah and he needs to pull out all of the income.
00:36:54
Speaker
And then he needs to figure out how to have a conversation with his wife about what's actually happening and then talk about where they want to go. And so you don't you don't think it would it would just be, it would sound something like this, like, like hey, honey, um I was thinking that maybe we stop buying shit we can't afford.
00:37:16
Speaker
That might hurt her feelings. Okay. Yeah, but you could probably show her that if you if you went. All right. I mean, I assume you got, what, $60,000, $70,000 a month in income to work with, right?
00:37:28
Speaker
and And if you lay... oh yeah, yeah. For a month. Oh, yeah. And if you if you lay it out, it's like, hey, we're not that bad, but we're sent we're spending $68,000 a month. And you're like, hey, do we really need $200 a month in case sausage? we're we're going I know it's Wisconsin, but fuck. And you're right. And the fact that
Planning for Financial Stability
00:37:49
Speaker
I don't know where the money's going is the first problem for sure. Yeah.
00:37:52
Speaker
I think the question for to her or the thing you might prompt her with this, would you be willing to sit down? Would you be willing to sit down and talk finance after I actually get a very clear picture of what's going on? Unless you saying that is like some gotcha where she's like, no, you should have. I thought you were managing it.
00:38:11
Speaker
um But no, that would be is can we have a conversation about what is actually happening and then decide on where we want to go? ah you guys Are you guys like a unified money family or you have like separate money?
00:38:25
Speaker
It's unified. Yeah. yeah mean it So you would lay it out as like ah you're all on the same team. Not like Paul's paying rent. Yeah. And she's she would be amenable to that for sure. She would have that conversation.
00:38:38
Speaker
Like I said, I think a lot of this is just lack of education on our parts. yeah We were talking about that before. Like when when when kids don't know how to manage money, they become adults.
00:38:49
Speaker
that don't know how to manage money. And that's what I am. I mean, it's, right and my parents didn't know shit about money. I think you do. You actually do know how to manage money. You've just, you've somehow conceptualized it as this interest rate, stock investment.
00:39:08
Speaker
Daunting task. Yeah, there you go. Daunting task, complex thing. But fundamentally, like it's arithmetic. There are so many budgeting tools that you could use to get to this place and you're a smart guy. I think you could manage it. What you haven't been taught and which none of us have been taught is the fucking psychology of how to like not feel shame when we can't afford a boat and our friends are buying a boat. And how do we tell our wife that we don't have the money for that when like we want our wife to think we're a fucking hunter.
00:39:40
Speaker
And how do we tell our kids that, you know what? that private school, we don't have the money for that. And then then they feel like, oh, my well my parents are pieces of shit. or or you know Nobody's taught that, nobody has that.
00:39:53
Speaker
And that's the piece that without constant conversations with you and your wife, there's no united front, there's no goals and there's no stated values. And until you see the picture, you'll never come up with any of those. And that's really the work. But you know how to like add and subtract and multiply.
00:40:12
Speaker
You could probably get your fixed budget in like 10 minutes on an Excel sheet. You know your mortgage, you know you're you know what UW costs, you know what- Sure. Yeah. The electric bill, whatever. It's all pretty quick.
00:40:24
Speaker
And what do you spend? Use your credit card for everything? Or do you use debit, credit, everything? like It's all coming out of one- oh the one account. The one account. Gosh, so it should be super easy.
00:40:35
Speaker
Yeah, that I said that. It it was. it's It is easy, but it's also easy to- you know, to rack it up and to and for it to go out. And the next thing you know, it's just, it's a wash.
00:40:46
Speaker
And then I'm wondering, and then I'm saying, oh, we're not saving anything. When will we ever get to that point where I can take a chunk of money and go to those stockbrokers and say, here, help me grow this with investments.
00:41:00
Speaker
And it's never going to happen. That's not going to happen. And and it doesn't. so So I want to make sure too, to to kind of touch on the The fact that we're going to get out of our house soon.
00:41:13
Speaker
Yeah. For sure. What's that mean, and by the way? Sell it. Okay. You're not going to rent it you're just getting out of it? No, no. We're getting out of it. And so then we're at this point of do we just look for another? want to downsize anyway.
00:41:29
Speaker
But in this market, what does that even mean? i mean, given prices, it's like we probably could end up damn near back where we are right now. And any money from the sale of the house would just get tied right back up into that.
00:41:43
Speaker
And so I'm wondering, is it going to be an opportunity to do something different? um Now there's pieces of this that we've talked about. I mean, it's not, nothing is gonna get better if we go back to the same behaviors, if those don't change. But what if those change and we rent for for a while and see if we can invest or or or make some changes? Maybe they use some money and get like an Airbnb or like- Sure.
00:42:14
Speaker
have a feeling I know what Lance is gonna say. Should I guess, Lance? Yeah, go for it. and Until you get that fucking budget ironed in. You certainly don't want to be buying it. No, no, just you, cause because you need that to know what you could actually afford.
00:42:30
Speaker
So you can go, oh, well, we're right back where we are, right? the whole thing, the whole idea is to take some money that we make from the sale of the house. Yeah, I got that. Yeah.
00:42:41
Speaker
The budget is sort of a psychological, the budget is, here's what people think when you say budget. Oh, wow. Let me constrain myself so can't. Let's put some chains on this bitch. Yeah. Let's put some chains on my life and I'm fucking, everything's going to fucking suck.
00:42:54
Speaker
And that's so don't call it a budget, call it a financial plan, whatever you want. I don't care. But you you guys need to see your current budget. income and spending in real time to see that, to see what lifestyle is you're shooting for.
00:43:11
Speaker
Then you have your your asset your current assets and and that's a whole different decision of like, okay, so how do we wanna deploy that capital either for our future, for our kids' future, ah for our living standards? You have those choices, but at some point you're gonna have to come to an agreement on like how much money do we wanna live off of?
00:43:34
Speaker
And you may find that actually when you cut some of the dumb shit that you probably don't need, you have a lot more money with the incomes you have than you thought. And you just need to start there because so I think there's probably some wins. it does It sounds like you don't, other than the mortgage, you're not like drowning in any debt.
00:43:53
Speaker
Yeah, not not nothing terrible. So if you sell the house, you have a good a decent equity position, there's some some money to work with? Yeah. Okay. So that's that's maybe a separate decision, but I think you and your wife probably need to start having some conversations about how you're managing money today before you get, and I think this is where your anxiety is coming from,
00:44:14
Speaker
before you make some big decision like, oh, well, let's buy a smaller house and we're going to lock up this cash in equity and it's not going to do anything for us when in fact maybe we could use that for retirement or whatever.
00:44:27
Speaker
I think you have some anxiety there. but No, I think that's true. I think it's fair. i think, yeah, I think it would be important that we kind of figure the skeleton out of budgeting and just start there, start with the base.
00:44:42
Speaker
And then, yeah, like,
00:44:45
Speaker
Moving on with what we do with some extra capital, I think that's where i have no idea and I don't know where to start.
00:44:56
Speaker
Do you want to talk? Okay. So assuming you guys have some conversations about, and you're, yeah it's, it's a friendly conversation about, okay, here's how we're spending. And, you know, maybe we don't need this. Maybe we don't need that.
00:45:09
Speaker
Then you're potentially ready for like a more, complex capital deployment type conversation. And let's assume you are. What's in your head of what you could do with a lump sum from selling your house?
00:45:24
Speaker
Well, in the past, I would have no idea. i would have, you know, that and my wife would say, let's put it in a high interest checking. You know, which is terrible.
00:45:35
Speaker
Which is like 0.3%. Yeah. Right. Like, I mean, or or a higher, even a high interest savings. And it's like, um
00:45:46
Speaker
the reason, yeah, I don't want to tie it up and, you know, put it right back in the house. If, if we could be getting better returns through, through a different vehicle.
00:45:57
Speaker
Right. And, or, diversify it or just make it yes make it work so one thing that you know your house is your personal residence is typically not considered an investment right and so if you you you might be lucky depending on when you buy it to to just basically keep up with inflation maybe a one or you know one percent or more above that Rolling it into a new house would have nothing to do with like maximizing your profit from investments. It would have more to do with maximizing your life satisfaction.
00:46:33
Speaker
Sure. So, which is completely reasonable. It's like, we like owning a house. Gringos. So when you guys make that decision, like you're not going to just make it based on maximizing returns because have you lost a big portion of money in the stock market before? Have you seen? No. So I would, if for somebody that hasn't done investing, like I could sit up here and be like, okay, what you need to do is you need to buy the S&P 500, which is like ah basket of stocks that you know you could buy an index fund as soon as you do that perhaps the market crashes and you're like oh my god i just lost 50 000 and you didn't get into it with sort of the right goal which i believe that people should invest in the stock market unless they're going to keep it in there for five to fifteen years
00:47:20
Speaker
Some people it's earlier than that, two to three years. But well, like, dude, until you're ready to like think about those things of like, what does this money mean to us? It's hard to tell you where to put it.
00:47:32
Speaker
You could do an Airbnb, although that's a lot of effort. That's like running a business. And you could do very well that. You could put it in a money market for 4% or more. And that's really easy.
00:47:43
Speaker
You open a Fidelity account and you pop it in a money market fund. It's very safe. So you have a ton of different options. It's just a matter of like what your what your goal is. And it sounds like what our risk tolerance is.
00:47:56
Speaker
And that one is missed by a lot of people. Like Matt over here, dude, that he'll you'll gamble on Bitcoin and fucking crypto and he'll gamble on his app. I put like five grand in Bitcoin. You act like I'm fucking...
00:48:09
Speaker
so um You're just jealous, dude. You know that's going to pop. you're gonna be i'm not gonna I don't care why. you like You like the fundamentals, but who cares? i don't It is going to pop.
00:48:21
Speaker
I think there's an insanity around it that It seems like like people that are like myself too, that are not that informed, like like you said, you got like ah ah there's probably some like mutual funds that kind of like lower risk but could could pop at seven or eight or nine, 10% over the life of it. That's a good place for somebody to put money, which you you could just go talk to somebody at Merrill Lynch or just pick a place, right?
00:48:45
Speaker
Do something like that. We could do it in like E-Trade too, but but it's not the first step necessarily, right? Yeah, okay. that Yeah, that's becoming more clear. Yeah. Yeah, it's not the first step. Like here, let's give these idiots a bunch of money and see what happens.
00:48:59
Speaker
You might need, you know, you might do your budget and be like, fuck, we can't give it to them. We need it now so that we can be we can actually have a future. maybe. so Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:10
Speaker
I just think that we're going to, yeah. sounds like you're not in as bad a shape as you think though. I, well we're not like in no, it we're not in dire straits by any means, but I, I just think because of our past behavior, we're,
00:49:25
Speaker
We're not going to change You're at risk. You're at risk, yeah. yeah what But i the positives I hear, like you both like your jobs. You're willing to do them for another 65 years. ands That's the first thing. No, you both like your jobs.
00:49:36
Speaker
You're going get some relief from your kids. about like They're not going to go to college forever, at least not on your dime, hopefully. And you have an asset that you actually have some... I mean, there are people that are upside down. i don't know if now the market's kind of across the U.S., but people are have been upside down in their house for since I can remember...
00:49:53
Speaker
even thinking about it. You're not upside down. And you we haven't said on air, but you got rid of the yacht. So you're you're already on the path of recovery. But it seems like with a little bit of of Lance, superstar Billy Graham Lance, the evangelist, it doesn't sound like you're in that bad of shape.
00:50:13
Speaker
And you got you have a drum kit you can sell that you don't use. So maybe that's why I'm a piece of shit because I think that things are so bad and really I've got it better than You're like one 45-minute conversation away to like probably being getting it on the rails.
00:50:27
Speaker
But you're in the dark. Also, you missed the most important part, which is like, what well, first, like what what is like money about for you? like What does it mean to you? This is a conversation with you and your wife. like What does money mean to us? You said some thoughtful things like freedom, whatever. That's my main one is security and freedom.
00:50:47
Speaker
But like what is it truly about for you? Because that'll guide how you manage it. Yeah, I think ah as usual, I know more of about what she would think than what I think.
00:50:59
Speaker
you know And she would say, it's it's making those memories. Making those fucking memories, Lance. Making them memories, pool You don't have anything? You're like, i like to do this. i don't know. You're like, every Friday night, I'd love to go out to eat with the fam or you don't care.
00:51:16
Speaker
No. Vacations? i have Vacation guy? No. No, she's the vacation guy. and so So making memories. And what happens when you can't work anymore and memories come to a halt like with your grandkids because now your income is halved. or Yeah.
00:51:35
Speaker
So like there's some things to consider. There's the today self and the future self. So there's a balance that I think she's reasonable enough to probably go. And and that's why I think I'm hitting the not the panic phase, but where money is, whereas before was not the most important thing to me is now becoming the most important thing.
00:51:54
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But to, so it's important to you because you're, you're, what are you thinking in terms of security, future security? Yeah, I would. Yes, that's it. Yeah.
00:52:06
Speaker
It sounds a little bit too, like you go Hey Paul, what are you into? You can't think about it. Cause you have this burden of being like, I know we're going, we're, yeah, Maybe I want to go to fucking Africa, but I can't even think about it because I don't know where i'm at today.
00:52:18
Speaker
so That's exactly right. felt like that for years, but then I just do it and go and then try to figure it out. but
00:52:27
Speaker
I'm happily at probably the worst financial place in my life right now. It's pretty sweet. Right? Yeah. Well, I mean- We're not making any money. but You have a plan, but you have a plan and you're moving on it. Like I would, I mean, I would say maybe how many months before it would be at least scarier for me. I'd be.
00:52:46
Speaker
Yeah. The positive is like, I have a plan. we' trying to get in. And I also know how slim it can get and I don't care. you know what I mean? Like if I was like, Oh, I missed this lifestyle or something and I don't.
00:52:59
Speaker
So it's like, yeah I don't know. It's easier to do that when you're separated. I can tell you that. But, but like, yeah but I wonder if, if that's like what you, you're, I mean, even Lance had to go through that a little bit. Like, it's like, yeah, we don't need, I mean, didn't you get rid of a vacation home or something where you're just like, this is not what I need.
00:53:15
Speaker
It's not the most important thing. So it's like, there's kind of, there's the budget and there's kind of defining what's important. And and the only way you can find out is like stripping stuff away and then being like, like alcohol. So you're like, that had no effect on me.
00:53:28
Speaker
Right? Like, And that your your life is, you got rid of the boat. has you was Are you like, fuck, man, I miss that boat. Well, what's funny, again, that was over COVID.
00:53:39
Speaker
And so we went out on the lake a lot with the kids on the boat. So it was useful for you in that time. It was. Yeah. And nobody loved that more than G. And she... G. What about you? Did you like it?
00:53:57
Speaker
what about you but you like it I did. Yeah, it was it was a lot of work, right? It was a shit ton of work and I was the one who had to do it. yeah i i had to put it in take it out. i had to maintain and do do all that. and but I just feel like there's an underlining theme here with you.
00:54:16
Speaker
i know it's because I kind of went through it, but like besides the budget and the money, is like you have to get to a you feel like you can be like, no, I like this shit. And she would probably be, or anyone in your life would probably be like, that's awesome.
00:54:28
Speaker
Husband or dad or something. Everyone be like, good for you, Paul. I don't think you'd get that much resistance if you found it. like Yeah, I agree with that statement. I do. besides you I know you mentioned earlier you have a passion for drawing cad CAD drawings or refrigerators, and I'm proud of you for that. But there's probably a couple other films to flip, right? Well, sure.
00:54:50
Speaker
Yeah. Are you fucking flossing, Matt? No. No. What's in your head, Paul? Like, what's in your head, dude, about what we're saying? Because I feel like we're sounding like we know everything. sound like a fucking self-help show.
00:55:05
Speaker
Yeah, dude. Well, that's the way it started. That's what you asked for. I know. I never took my chance to get on Seniors, so I am kind of dragging this into that realm a little bit.
00:55:18
Speaker
um But, yeah, I think... ah Once again, i'm I'm kind of doing things for other people and i'm that's kind of weighing the most heavily on my mind is how is this going to affect other people? How is this going to affect my wife and our relationship? And what's this going to do? Is it going to be too disruptive?
00:55:35
Speaker
But I know it needs to happen and I know it in the long run it'll be good. And i trust her enough to know that she will feel that way too, honestly.
00:55:46
Speaker
She's not going to fight it. She's not going to say, you know, fuck that we're you know we're we're going to ireland that'd be good either way though to hash it out yeah yeah i she is reasonable but but yeah it's it's been good to know uh know where we got to start um but like if i looked at it in terms of like you're designing some mechanical apparatus not Not a dildo, but like a a refrigeration component.
00:56:20
Speaker
ah There's a shitload of detail and thought that goes into that. And like, I guess my request of your family and you as the patriarchal manosphere leader is that you own the budget like it's one of these drawings.
00:56:36
Speaker
and you own your financial situation like you're going to be the CFO of your household, dude, because I think you'll be surprised at how horny having control over your money and understanding what's at first, it's it'll be ugly, but like you you'll be surprised like when you have an idea of what it all is.
00:56:57
Speaker
that that's a little bit more seductive than people think. and yeah And then you're able to have conversations your wife of like, really? We have six streaming services or whatever?
00:57:10
Speaker
ah yeah do we need all that or really? Yeah. yeah Yeah, and it it all boils down to sacrifice at some point though. It really does. It will, but like you'll start to see, God, this is, because you're talking about capitalism, is this is what it's about?
00:57:26
Speaker
So we work and then we just have these things. And is that fulfilling me? like if right And and you'll you'll have to, you know, that'll be the interesting part. And I think, I guess I'm speculating that your you and your wife, when you start to get that plan, it'll be sort of like appealing.
00:57:44
Speaker
um Seductive is probably a little too too strong horny, too Pornhub, but. Yeah, he's got to start, but you got to cut back your OnlyFans. Like if you throw one in the pot, maybe everybody else will come on board. can see where it's a little, it'd be kind of Cinemax.
00:58:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You can't get rid Cinemax. The content is amazing. You can't do it. so What's a stupid thing, dude. What's a stupid thing you have or pay for now that you know is stupid and you should just get rid of, but you can't.
00:58:12
Speaker
Well, you've seen mentioned it with streaming ah YouTube TV, to be honest. Okay. Right? Like that's our, good we we went the route with ah like a lot of people did. We cut cable. Yeah. Got got this and now they're jacking their prices up and and do we really need it Like maybe for some sports, but that's it.
00:58:35
Speaker
Oh, the streaming services are such a... you get You're like, oh, I heard that show was good. And then you have a bunch of crap. It's the only one. It's fucking brutal, man. Yeah. And so that's that's one thing. um That's the other problem. I don't know. That's the same thing. It's like, I don't know where it's going. Oh.
00:58:52
Speaker
Like there's no, like there's nothing to show for it. It's not like we have a bunch of shit that I can see that I know we've bought that we don't need. It's like, I can't believe it's like we're bleeding out and when there's nothing to show for it.
00:59:06
Speaker
You go out to dinner? Not as much, but yeah, in the past we, yeah, that happened too much. Take out. What kind of car does G drive?
00:59:17
Speaker
Oh, well, yeah. Um, Last car I saw for you guys it' pretty nice ride. Acura maybe, something like that? Yeah. Okay, so yeah, there there you go.
00:59:29
Speaker
the The cars, well, it's not, it's it's like a Chevy. It's like a Traverse. So it's a, yeah, it's an SUV. It's not like a Suburban, but not yeah that's I don't feel like you should feel guilty about the chores. I do a little bit. I was waiting for Lance. It's not a minivan, but it's like the next thing. No, I'm not here to shame, bro. I'm just just like, there's probably room and there's probably things that...
00:59:51
Speaker
Those are the liabilities, right? Those are the things taking money out of our pocket. Because, yeah, we didn't pay, not like we paid cash for them anyway, but like those are loans. So I've got one. It's a used car, but it's still out there. High efficiency light bulbs, Paul? Have you thought about that? Yeah. Yeah, I will now.
01:00:10
Speaker
That's at least $1,500 a month. Three high-efficiency light bulbs. Well, that's exactly what people do. They're like, oh, we're stressed I'm stressed about money. I guess I'm going to drive an extra four miles to the cheaper gas station. No.
01:00:24
Speaker
I'm not there. whatever. i and need to do it on more of a macro scale. Yeah. Okay. We got wisdom at least. But, yeah, I'm trying to think. but yeah, so we got rid of the boat. Yeah, the cars. Yeah.
01:00:38
Speaker
Why'd you get rid of the boat? Cause it was drowning you in debt or what? It was, yeah it was an expense. Um, and we weren't using it as much because more sports or activities or God knows what. So.
01:00:53
Speaker
God knows what. That's the theme of the show. It is. No one knows, but... Take some ownership, and it's like, I'd rather not. Dude, I'm like looking in the mirror listening to you. i It's so... You're not a... Everybody... I mean, it's so... Lance is the unicorn in this, like...
01:01:10
Speaker
I mean, even here, I'm up here and I'm like, we don't have a coffee maker in our office and I just got used to drinking this Costa Rican meth coffee that's way stronger. So at like one o'clock, two o'clock in the afternoon, i'm like, fuck, I need some coffee. So I'm going to Starbucks midday. It's fucking, you know, you add that up for a month and you're like, holy shit.
01:01:29
Speaker
You know, like, so it's all that shit. When I'm at home, like I never do any of that shit. I'm just sitting in my house, like, like eating like a rabbit. making my own coffee and everything. And it's pretty, pretty affordable.
01:01:42
Speaker
But um yeah, just like taken take control that thing is the message. But I think you're fine. Would it be? a yeah Go ahead. Go ahead, man. was just going say, unless you and your family or whoever, unless you really, really have a difference of opinion on what what life is, money's for and what life is about, and then that's That's hard. but But I think you can get through that with a bucket, like Lance said. like She's like, I do need to go to Ireland.
01:02:12
Speaker
I'm going to walk you through scotch go heaven now that you've quit drinking. Let's go to Ireland. and but Yeah, it's like I'm going to torture you your ass. but Yeah, but like you could you can get through it with a bucket.
01:02:26
Speaker
But but that that could be a thing that derails you. if you if It's just like, no, I'm not. But I cannot imagine that that they would be like that if if you laid it out. but that's ah It's a great point that we've never had that conversation of like, what what does money mean to you in that regard? Like, what ultimately does it mean to you? We've never had that conversation or even gotten anywhere close to that conversation.
01:02:49
Speaker
Yeah, that's huge if you have that and you have, and then you have the courage to look at your numbers and then you'll be able to have conversations like, well, what is a reasonable annual vacation budget?
01:03:02
Speaker
And, and, you know, maybe your wife starts like something absurd, like 50,000 and you're like, Oh no, uh, it's only 12 grand. Give me the boat back.
01:03:14
Speaker
Yeah, so you' you're able to have that conversation. And then when you when you, you know, her values are making memories, you're able to say, Well, let's- We get three memories per year. let's let's well let's figure Well, let's figure out with this budget how to maximize that. And that's that's a fact of life that you're you're doing it anyway.
01:03:33
Speaker
You're having to make those choices anyway. You're just doing it on an emotional roller coaster where it's like one minute you guys are probably worried about money and you're freaking out and the next you're ignoring it and it's just a, it's not a great, it's not a position to control.
01:03:48
Speaker
right So if you want to be a millionaire, it's like you got a nitpick and look at it I think, to start. And you guys have to be super aligned, which sounds like you don't sound like one of those meatheads. It's like, oh, she'll fucking, she's she's not going fucking listen.
01:04:05
Speaker
no she will. I mean, we're definitely a good team there that way. Do you think she'll listen? She would listen to this? To the show? Yeah, I'm just saying like, yeah like if you could almost have, and you you've said nothing but good things, I think. She listened to it almost like you would take care it'd be like a nice lead into the conversation. but Yeah, don't you know what I've been doing?
01:04:29
Speaker
I'm just trying to get one more listener. That's good. more play. Yeah, exactly. now i ki No, You're just like, there it is. There it is. No, i no she'll she'll definitely listen to the show. This is it yeah your shot at stardom, Paul. she she She needs to see it.
01:04:45
Speaker
So your your marriage is good and you guys communicate, it sounds like. Yeah, it is. I still blame her for for all the money woes, but but yeah. Spend me. Yeah, we did. I did like exactly what Lance is saying about two weeks before we got separated.
01:05:01
Speaker
So good luck. Great. I got that got that to look forward to. yeah I can't wait to let you guys know how it goes. well and And I threw a tantrum at one point on my wife of just like,
01:05:15
Speaker
I told her like, no, we're not buying any more Christmas lights.
01:05:20
Speaker
And it became this huge thing. ah Because like, you know, who who draws the line at Christmas lights on like right before Christmas? Is that going to break us, Lance? Really? That's it? Only a psycho.
01:05:33
Speaker
But once I spend it on the environment, dude, she had to like, so so we went out and got these laser things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they look really shitty. You point at the house. Yep. Now we're back to Christmas lights. but and my Dude, that's a great example. You don't want to do you want to act like I did. But, like, you you start to have the conversation. my wife and we can talk about anything money. It's like, we can just talk about anything.
01:05:56
Speaker
Yeah. Dude, that's such a great example, though, because you're fucking, you're like, everything's cool. And then you're trying to... you're buying gifts and in-laws and and then all of a sudden you're like, damn, we just dropped 700 bucks on Christmas decorations.
01:06:08
Speaker
Yeah. And then you don't want to be the dick being like, well, fuck Christmas. who But you're like, Jesus, wasn't planning for that. Well, if the budget was. the Yeah. If you had the bucket, $6, I'll give you six bucks for lights.
01:06:21
Speaker
Yeah. That's it. Well, no, but that's what that's what you think. but But where does it end? No. Okay, because you go from Christmas, you're you're rolling into MLK Day, big celebration day. No, but then you get to Easter, St. Paddy's, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and you're buying gifts. and Fourth of July. I mean, it just never ends in our country. there's no end to the waterfall.
01:06:43
Speaker
so And everybody's accepting, because this is what we talked about. like It is socially accepted to come home with the boat. And it's so socially accepted to like have the big car that can sit the your neighbor's kids in it just in case. You got rams on the traverse, bro? Yeah.
01:06:57
Speaker
Yeah. yeah You probably got dope rims, but you can all go to Skate City together, nine people. And you only do that like once every three years, but at least you have you the option. You have the option. Yeah. And so do you have a hot tub? You guys got a hot tub, I bet. Sauna? You got sauna?
01:07:11
Speaker
No. Okay. you Do you craft beer? That's what he's saying. He doesn't know where it's going. Why would I craft beer? I don't drink anymore, so no. Well, you maybe you had the suit. Dude. Okay. Yeah, no.
Light-hearted Financial Anecdotes
01:07:22
Speaker
I don't want to...
01:07:23
Speaker
i don't think Costa Rican, the OI Jota is their FBI, but I got pounds of weed at my house. I don't smoke weed, but I was just growing it to see if I could. I'd be like you, yeah small batching some beer.
01:07:34
Speaker
Just to have it? Yeah, just sell it. so like That's how you solve your financial problems, Paul. Start selling bootleg clandestino beer out of the basement.
01:07:45
Speaker
Start moving liquor. That's how the Kennedys took over. Okay. does g Does G get massages? um She's spa chick. No. Cairo, acupuncture. No.
01:07:59
Speaker
Nails, maybe nails. Nails, hair, how much on the hair? makeup how much how much on the hair I have no idea. I bet you it's 300. Well, it's probably a lot, but it's not very often. It's not like- Not excessive?
01:08:11
Speaker
so Not excessive. What are you sneaking, dude? What are you fucking sneaking? Are you like going and buying tech shit that you don't need? like yeah I know you're sneaking something. um yeah well i guess yeah i guess it would be 3d printing shit like so oh my hobby oh no it's my work now you're doing that at home yeah yeah and the 3d printers stuff like that's expensive yeah yeah yeah so you're sneaking something we all are right
01:08:43
Speaker
But yeah either either you like, I mean, I do see this dude when like with my kids, like pick them up from school. they want to go you know There's like, I would say nicer convenience stores down there that have like nice bread and pastries and shit like that.
01:08:57
Speaker
Go in there, like, yeah, yeah that's fine. Let's go croissant, coffee. You guys do shit like that? Yeah, I guess. Not like...
01:09:07
Speaker
Guess who's at a hair appointment right now? No shit. My wife. oh i mean Does she know that's not in the budget? Drive over there now like that show Cheaters.
01:09:19
Speaker
They just show up. You're on camera? Yeah. Gotcha. She just texted me, at hair appointment home at 545. Oh, dare You better bring a fucking receipt.
01:09:32
Speaker
Or work some extra hours. oh so yeah Are you prepared to work work this weekend to pay for that haircut? She's got time and a half. yeah It doesn't sound like you guys are are that crazy, though. Yeah, you're not crazy. Kids, too, though, suck money. like oh You can't say no. That's your problem. Your biggest problem is you can't say no to the kids.
01:09:51
Speaker
Yes. And G, especially. Yes. can She can't say no. Yes. Why? what Why do you think? And it's not like kids aren't like total freeloaders or anything, but um yeah if they yeah, I don't know. it's it What's like the limit?
01:10:07
Speaker
like I might have a hard time. saying no for in the grocery store. My son wants a croissant. I'm always, almost always saying yes, which adds up. But if he's like, let's go to, the let's go to Disney world. I'm not, I'm like, yes. Yeah. what's the solve management Problem is that she manages those finances.
01:10:25
Speaker
What do you mean She manages the kids money. Like allowance type type shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They got like that green light card or, you know, something like, here for her though that's good. You know where she, but she's can pump money into their accounts. Um,
01:10:39
Speaker
But, I mean, i don't dare not they're spending a lot. No, I know they're not. they they probably there's they spend We spend more at like their school for like hot lunch.
01:10:50
Speaker
Lance was saying the normal now, night the kids aren't crazy, but the normal is like you got to go to, I don't know, what's the example, whatever. you They just eat. Like Chick-fil-A four times a week or something. Yeah, right. It's like normal. They're i Like mom, we're at flipping. Yeah, we're at McDonald's or mom, we're at yeah Starbucks. so That ends up being $100 a week.
01:11:07
Speaker
Yeah, no. Sometimes per kid. And that's a lot. Yes. That's lot. So you're right that there's probably a lot of hidden... kind of aggregate expenses.
01:11:18
Speaker
Right. You gotta be the mom sending, so the dad sending your kid, like when they they go to McDonald's with their friends, they pull out like a Ziploc sandwich and a baggie and they're like. you're just Dad says we're on a budget. My dad talked to Lance.
01:11:34
Speaker
No, but dude. would Give me one nugget. would would g Would G lose her mind if like, let's say G and I were married and I'm like, look, we're gonna say for a state school period and and like say this conversation happened years ago, state school only, there's there's no dream of private. If that happens, then they have to figure out the gap.
01:11:54
Speaker
Would she be like, are you kidding me? Like what if they struggle? She would say, hey, I'm with you on the state school, but are you kidding me?
01:12:05
Speaker
Like you're going to hold her back? You're going
Funding Education vs. Retirement
01:12:08
Speaker
to hold her back. okay You're depriving her on opportunities by the way it's looked at, right? Like if she could get into, I don't know, University of North Carolina or something. You'll have to pay the 400 or 500 grand for four years that it is.
01:12:21
Speaker
But like if I said, because I say to my son, dude, I'll pay. no No questions asked. If you eat healthy, I'll pay for two Chipotes a week. or And then you get one Chick-fil-A every two weeks.
01:12:34
Speaker
So I just pay for two meals out. no but No questions asked. and then he gets his own allowance and all that. But like if you were to like limit them and say, look, ah you dude, money, it's it's not...
01:12:46
Speaker
always available yeah you can't just you can't just go on demand it's not on demand like you can eat out two three times a week and that's it and the rest you go go go figure it out but like what would that would would g be like are you fucking kidding me like we work hard bro that's that's a good way to lay the groundwork for a budget well And so I'm asking them, or I'm asking for help too with like, how do I teach my kids about this? So yes, that's great. That's great advice.
01:13:19
Speaker
And I think it would, yeah, lay the groundwork for for managing it better for them too. and And I will even say this so that you guys have a different reference point. In the communities that I've like kind of put my head in over the years,
01:13:34
Speaker
they are adamant that you do not sacrifice your retirement and your resource for your kid's college. that if your retirement isn't at least on path to where you think it it should be reasonably, that you would not.
01:13:48
Speaker
Screw them. You go to community college for two years, you transfer, and because you because the kids have 40, 50, 60 years to catch up, and and the only thing you have is like the shame and the the social like bat to the head of like, oh my God, I didn't pay for my kid's college. But you also only have 10, 15 years get up.
01:14:11
Speaker
reach a goal and kind of catch up. And so, yeah, I think that you might want to eat, you know, if you get hardcore enough, you could even consider that. But yeah, that's a good point. but that's just That's probably the number one tension point. It sounds like everything else will be fine. You might have a hard sell on like, what will be perceived as depriving them of of opportunity, right? That's the one.
01:14:32
Speaker
Exactly. Yeah. But that's life, right? Is it not life? Well, it's life for for a well-disciplined, well-managed person.
01:14:43
Speaker
ah I mean, I agree with her in a way. like I mean, I would say if you're going piss money away, like providing your kids with opportunities probably a good way to do it better than like well some other shit. But what opportunities? and Right.
01:14:55
Speaker
But it's got to be an opportunity. like that's what I mean, even my kids, it's basically you get if you get into the public university in Costa Rica, which is kind of competitive because it's basically free. Yeah. And I'm like, you don't really need to go to the US unless you really have like, oh, I don't know.
01:15:10
Speaker
Some school has a program of something that you really know that's what you want to do. But if not, you're just going to undergrad blindly. Go down there or even don't go fuck around for a few years. what you want to do.
01:15:22
Speaker
You know, like I don't you know, it's not like ah I'm going to deprive them an opportunity. It's just like be smart about if you have an opportunity or not. I mean, if one of your kids got into Harvard, I'd probably take G's side on that one.
01:15:34
Speaker
I'd be like, but course you probably can't afford it anyways. They're going to to loans. If they just went and paid, ah what's Harvard, $80,000 year or something? But ah it's got to be like, there's got to be something there.
01:15:45
Speaker
And college right now, for the most part, is not you're not it's not like flowing into an actual thing. It's just something to check a box. I mean, I get that, but you're kind of loose with that language, Matt. Like, don't you think you're ignoring like the trade-offs?
01:15:58
Speaker
And the only thing I remember from economics, well, i actually love economics, but ah opportunity cost was something that I really took home, which is like, if I choose this, I'm giving up this.
01:16:08
Speaker
And there is a mathematical equation to that, but generally it is fundamentally about trade-offs. If I choose to fund my kids' private school education at $95,000 per year,
01:16:19
Speaker
and I have three kids and I do that for all three. I am basically, I don't know how much you guys make, but I would imagine that you're really, really taking away any meaningful retirement where you effectively are gonna be on SSI and penny-pinching as inflation fucking kills us all.
01:16:40
Speaker
That doesn't sound fun. No. Or a life well-lived. Like no matter what choice you make or what opportunity you provide, there's always some trade-off. I agree with that. And I think, again, you know, our kids are reasonable as well, I think. yeah and And that's a good conversation, I think, honestly, that to have with them. I'd like to have that. My wife would be mortified. Oh, my God.
01:17:05
Speaker
Like, don't let them think that we can't afford everything about or even think about money. like But you're just getting them in the same position you're in. yeah their The reality is going to hit them at some point.
01:17:19
Speaker
Yeah, I agree with that. And it'll be a point where they're probably at higher risk of not being able to dig out of it. Right. And that's the thing that maybe if you could convince her that, look, we weren't taught this.
01:17:31
Speaker
We got to get them through here, you know, out of this house with a better understanding than we had. Yeah, exactly. of yeah I think digesting, I think she'll be able digest the first step of having them ah on a budget. should pay you can die That's a smaller one, easy to digest. Baby steps. 50 bucks a week or a month or whatever. then And then it's fuck your nails. Then it's you can't go to college.
01:17:56
Speaker
Yeah, fuck your nails. Yeah. yeah Then I hope you like those shoes because you're going to your grave with those motherfuckers. That's it. let's ah I think, I don't know. these I mean, it's also like after if you get separated, you realize like, ah fuck, I probably should have It's like, oh shit, I probably should have laid the groundwork for that conversation like 20 years ago. it's hard It's hard to fucking shoehorn it in now, but better now than like when you're 68 going, holy shit. oh Fuck, we're scared. We're still here. so like
01:18:32
Speaker
it's It's better now. but ah I think you guys are fine. You just got You just got to fucking live life. Fuck what Lance says. no i would I would let it rip, dude. Just do let bro There's nothing magical. There's like nothing like, oh, I bet you Lance got into some alternative investments and that's what- ah That's what he was hoping for. He's like, really?
01:18:54
Speaker
You're telling me you just socked away every fucking extra penny. Yeah, no, for Lance. Give him your 40X secret right now. Yeah. That's what I was fishing for. know, dude. Airbnb's are where it's at, bro. Hey, do you got any eat well do you have any books?
01:19:12
Speaker
i and See, I do want to like educate myself for real. Oh, you want to educate yourself? Okay, so here's what I'd recommend. You do got books. Well, how intense do you want to be? do you just want to be an average person or you want to be a real fucking baller?
01:19:23
Speaker
I want to be intense. You know I do. I would go to this blog. I think it would fit your personality. The guy's a real dick.
Financial Independence and Societal Norms
01:19:32
Speaker
Okay, so you're talking to like a life program or something. No, it's not a program. You don't pay for anything. You're just going to go read some of his articles.
01:19:39
Speaker
Okay. and And maybe you just pick through them and and just start to digest. i Commit about 10 articles. Sure. But he doesn't really write much anymore. So the recent stuff is not worth your time. You need to kind of go back in time. 2010, 11, 12, 13, 14. Money Mustache.
01:19:53
Speaker
Okay. Okay. mr money mustache okay I know I've heard you say this before. this dude started a bit of a lifestyle movement around retiring early.
01:20:09
Speaker
Yeah. But he's more of a lifestyle guru than it's about retiring early. but You'll just start to understand some concepts that... I think are are interesting and it'll be so extreme to you.
01:20:21
Speaker
Some of the stuff that you'll, you'll, you'll go fuck that probably, but you'll also start to see the bigger picture. I think that makes American lifestyle stuff seem crazy.
01:20:33
Speaker
You'll yeah start to like digest that, I think in a deeper way. I mean, were you like this always? No. Did you, you hit a point where you were like, I'm just got started learning and then just got pushed.
01:20:45
Speaker
No way or what I found, i think, ah well Matt and I both were all, I've always been counterculture in a little bit of, in a bit of a way. Yeah. Hmm. But I knew like when I got into my first corporate job, my first real job, I just knew it wasn't gonna be a place for me. And so I just started searching and I'll tell you, it was just luck.
01:21:05
Speaker
Luck that the the thing that I came across, because I tried day trading, I tried all these other like Amway, all these other things that might make me rich, but I came across this dude back in 08, 09.
01:21:20
Speaker
And it's kind of just got me, it changed my life, got me on a different path. Wow. Thinking about money and what it means to me. So, um you know, it's worth checking out.
01:21:31
Speaker
It might seem a little outdated, but I think it's worth checking out. I think it sounds good. But there are a ton of books. Rat race. So you and I didn't want to get in the rat race. And then we, and then it was like, I got to get out of it as soon as possible.
01:21:46
Speaker
This, this right here, this bullshit we're doing right now is what I was meant to do is sit here and fuck off. And I wrote a, I did, I wrote a special, a special little song about Bitcoin to intro this just to fuck around.
01:22:02
Speaker
um But that kind of stuff like, and playing music, There's no way to make money in it and or whatever, but still, I mean, that's if I could spend all day doing that shit, I would. well and And you can.
01:22:14
Speaker
Now I can. Yeah. If we yeah yeah we we if we were looking at the the common, how how success is judged in our society, maybe we can make this thing profitable. but True. We don't care.
01:22:26
Speaker
This was it. We got, Paul took care of everything for me. He said that it's meaningful. He quit drinking because of our show. He's getting financially healthy. He's going to war with his wife. Everything that I want.
01:22:38
Speaker
Yeah. Right now. so and So we want to have you back, dude, after you after you unleash yeah reality fuck fest on your wife. thing is like, you got to buy a clip.
01:22:49
Speaker
Yeah. You got to buy a clipboard and a whistle, dude. Just every time someone leaves your house, where are you going? um my Get back here.
01:23:00
Speaker
Let's try this shit. Yeah. No venti coffees. We go with small or fucking medium. Yeah, i have this cartoonish picture of you having a spreadsheet. It's like there's this animated visual of numbers flying up and smacking G in the face.
01:23:15
Speaker
Reality. Paul's just administering this unbelievable ass whooping. Yeah. Because it's always the woman's fault. It's always the woman's fault, G.
01:23:27
Speaker
That's right. Yeah, that's what she's going to take away. No, I'm kidding. I would love if she was like, why don't you go buy another three d printer cartridge, you fucking asshole? I wish wish that would come up in the fight.
01:23:40
Speaker
I'm sure it's going to. I know it's going to. Dude, you're just pitching it as a way to way that she can live her dreams for the next 30 years. just like That's right. That's what's happening. He digs into the numbers, and then he's back into the booze, and then we've got to deal with that on the next episode. yeah He goes to something harder.
01:23:58
Speaker
Let's wrap this shit up because Paul's got to make dinner, bro. I'm on going out, bro. I've got to go have some budget conversation. I'm going do it tonight. Do it over a warm cup of noodles that you bought for 78 cents and be like, get used to this. See what's in your future. Yeah, exactly.
01:24:20
Speaker
Don't worry. Come some fine flavors and everything will be fine. Yeah. I mean, before you talk money, I always find that if you make a good finger bang joke, okay you loosen things up, bro.
01:24:32
Speaker
Yeah. Loosen them up. Are you having serious conversations, Lance, pre or post? Do you go like, I don't know, try to please and then be like afterwards, be like, okay.
01:24:43
Speaker
No. No, Matt, because sex to me is not something to be manipulated. Okay? No, it's not something that our marriage, we use as leverage. Okay?
01:24:55
Speaker
No, it's more like the person's in a calm state, ready to receive. Oh, yeah. Not like you're using it to manipulate. More like, okay, now that we're both in a nice, relaxed, calm state. Just to set the huh? Yeah.
01:25:10
Speaker
Now that I've gone down on you for six hours. Yeah. Now you need to know. we Like I said, we could get a Subaru, but we're going to get a Hyundai. Yeah. I'm going to go down on you like a woman that owns a Subaru would. I'm just staring at the joke, but it hit. This is all I have comedy wise, Paul. This is my last bastion of jokes. Good stuff.
01:25:33
Speaker
That's good. Yeah. Well, well, good to see you, man. I was, it was good. I hope I wasn't too condescending, but like, I think you guys will figure it out, but you want to come back on and like, I'd like to get an update.
01:25:45
Speaker
Yeah. Get the old ball and chain on here too. I have, I should, that would be good. yeah i have lot I still have other problems. So you like that's ah that's future episodes.
01:25:55
Speaker
Yeah, once a month. And you come on, dude, we'll talk through all your problems, your dick issues, whatever. Yeah. The fact that you shit three times a day, whatever it is, i don't care. Isn't that good good thing? yeah are yeah um Yeah. Yeah. But no, thanks so much.
01:26:10
Speaker
Yeah, man. It's fun. I really appreciate it and keep doing it because love listening. Goddamn, Paul. It's great to see you.
Concluding Reflections
01:26:18
Speaker
You look great. And seriously, say hi to G. These motherfuckers crazy.
01:26:35
Speaker
I'm a piece of shit Can you smell it? I'm piece of shit Everybody wanna come Hear my problem
01:27:03
Speaker
And now, a retrospective from the internet circa 2022.
01:27:09
Speaker
When I got the COVID vaccine, my dick stayed limp for a fucking year.