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How to Own Your Life Story with Annette Fix
4 Plays11 months ago
You’ll need to get your popcorn for this one! Annette is going to leave you on the edge of your seat through every moment of this interview. From career changes from one end of the spectrum to the other, several near death experiences, having to pull her son out of school to home school him, to raising an amazing man and now to being an author and helping people to write their own memoirs to pass down from generation to generation. Get ready to be wowed, maybe shed some tears, learn something new and be left with a feeling of hope.
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Annette Fix – Author of The Break-Up Diet: A Memoir | Storytelling Coach
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Transcript
A 911 Dispatcher's Harrowing Experience
00:00:00
Speaker
I'd say probably one of the hardest calls that I took was a woman who called in screaming on the phone. They shot my baby. He shot my baby. And I'm like, oh my, and I, and I figured it was a drive by because the area that I worked in was, uh, was predominantly gang, uh, gang area. And, you know, and I'm trying to get suspect information. Did you see the car? Did you see which way he went? She's like, no, you don't understand. It was my son.
Introduction to 'Finding My Best Self' Podcast
00:00:24
Speaker
Hey girl, welcome to Finding My Best Self, the podcast where it's totally okay to show up in your leggings and messy bun, because let's be real, that's our uniform here. The only rule is to be unapologetically yourself. And I'm Mandi, and joining me is Pam, the queen of Finding the Silver Linings. We're here to share laughs, tears, and everything in between.
00:00:43
Speaker
Think of us as your new best friends with some stories to tell and wisdom to share. From face palms to victories, we're diving into the journey of self-discovery, wellness, and what it means to truly embrace who you are. So whether you're conquering the world or just trying to find your phone in the black hole, I mean, purse, we've got you covered.
00:01:02
Speaker
Because here it's all about encouraging you to lace up those sneakers or don't, we're not judging. And join us as we explore what is truly means to own your confidence and find your best self. So pour yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and let's get into it.
Resilience and Storytelling with Annette
00:01:26
Speaker
Hello, and welcome back to another episode of finding my best self. I am Pam Revret, your host. Mandy is not able to be with us today. Her girls have their very last game of the season. So it'll just be Annette and I today. Annette is a mama. She is a memoir author and coach. And she's been through a whole lot of life and struggles and life altering moments. And she's ready to spill it all.
00:01:51
Speaker
She is the pure definition of someone who can pivot and just keep going and just resilience. And so I cannot wait for you guys to hear her story because she is absolutely incredible.
The Role of a Story Coach
00:02:06
Speaker
So thank you Annette for joining me today. I'm so excited for our listeners to get to hear about you. So tell us a little bit about yourself, about your child and, you know, what you currently do for work.
00:02:20
Speaker
Okay, well, thank you for inviting me on your podcast. I am the memoir author of The Breakup Diet. And I am a mama. My son is 35. So he's kind of passed the stage off flying on his own. Currently, I am doing story coaching. So as a storytelling coach, what I do is I help people
00:02:43
Speaker
who want to take their personal stories and get them out of their heart and out of their head and onto the page. So whether they want to do it for a family legacy or for a published book, that's what I do, some kind of like a story doula.
00:02:58
Speaker
I love that. So, okay. So people can come to you and you will help them to basically create a storybook about themselves or the life that they can like hand down to their children that who can hand it down to their children. So it's a legacy. That is so cool. It absolutely, I love hearing people's
Preserving Family Stories
00:03:17
Speaker
stories. One of the clients I'm working with right now has a multi-generational story of three
00:03:23
Speaker
three generations of matriarchs in her family that led her family and they immigrated to the United States from Cuba during the revolution. So it's just such a fascinating story. And because she is the last one that can actually tell this story, she wants to make sure she gets it down because then her children and her children's children will never know the previous stories that came before. So we're working on putting that together. And it's fascinating. It's just amazing.
00:03:53
Speaker
So you collect all their information and then you, you actually write the book or the, you know, the memoir for them? No, I'm, I'm not even a, I'm, I'm a story coach. I'm not a, a ghostwriter. So actually what I do is I work with the people to help them tell their own stories. And if they're writers and they're a little concerned about, Oh, I don't know if I have enough to put into a whole book, that sort of thing, or I wouldn't know how to write it.
Turning Memories into Stories
00:04:18
Speaker
I help them start at the level where they begin,
00:04:20
Speaker
Collecting the memories and writing the memories down and they can do the memories as individual like short stories and put together like a short story collection There are some people though that I work with who actually have a particular period in their life that they want to focus on so it's not as you know, epic as the multi-generational story and
00:04:41
Speaker
It's a specific, like somebody who has a business and they want to be able to tell the story of how they built their business, that sort of thing. Or if there's something that happened in their life, be it a loss or something like that, it's very encapsulated. That would be a memoir versus like an autobiography where people write their story and they can then go on to publish it.
00:05:05
Speaker
That's incredible. Good for you. That's a really cool job to have. It's fun. I get so invested in people's stories. I'm like, and then what happened? So it's right. What next? And that's exactly it. Because our culture, just entire, I guess, humanity is built around stories. So you think about it and you run into people at work. It's like, oh, what did you do over the weekend? Oh my gosh, I got to tell you this story.
00:05:31
Speaker
You know, we grow up from when we're children, hearing stories read to us. So why not write a story that's your own, you know, and be able to share that experiences that you've had, lessons you've learned, you know.
00:05:46
Speaker
Yeah. So that's that kind of lights me up. That lights me up. Yeah.
Inspiration Through Shared Stories
00:05:50
Speaker
Well, and just like this is the whole reason why I love doing the interviews on my podcast is because, you know, when my solo or duo episodes with Mandy, you know, we like to just hit on, you know, what we're personally going through, but it's bringing in other people like you to tell your story because everyone can pick up and learn and be motivated or inspired by other people's
Annette's Diverse Career Journey
00:06:14
Speaker
stories. So that's
00:06:15
Speaker
Just what you're doing here today. That's what I'm doing. That's the thing that lights me up. Yep. Yeah. So have you always done this or did you have other careers in the past or before that led up to this one? There has been a lot of versions of me. I think I'm working on Annette 8.0 now.
00:06:37
Speaker
I did not always do this. I'd say probably the first career that I had was working as Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department dispatcher and 911 operator.
00:06:49
Speaker
operator did that for six years. And then after that, this was a huge and very different sort of pivot. I then worked as a topless dancer for six years. And then after that corporate admin for eight years, but all in total, I'd say it's about 22 years of publishing in and out of various stages of it, that sort of thing. And I'm circling back around now to
00:07:14
Speaker
what I love doing, which is working with people, writing stories, telling stories and publishing. Yeah.
00:07:21
Speaker
I love that you said a net 8.0 because I think all of us as women, as humans, we change so much throughout life, right? And you're constantly growing and evolving just through the ebb and flow of everything of life and the challenges that we face or the different careers that we go into and we have to, we change and grow relationships and children and all of the things that happen in life. So I love that you said that.
00:07:49
Speaker
I can imagine that with each job title that you, I mean, cause you definitely, yes, to have gone from one end to the spectrum to the other and all over the place and just bounced around that each of them brought a lot of different challenges and life lessons. So like of all of them, which one do you think has helped you grow most as an individual?
Challenges of a 911 Dispatcher
00:08:10
Speaker
Honestly, this is probably going to be a surprise to a lot of people working as a topless dancer for six years was probably
00:08:18
Speaker
the greatest personal growth on so many levels.
00:08:22
Speaker
First of all, I'll start out with the fact, okay, body image. A lot of women have body image issues around their shapes and weight and that sort of thing. Going into it, I'm built very much like a 12-year-old boy. So it wouldn't be the type of job you would think I would go and do. But honestly, working in that environment and seeing
00:08:48
Speaker
women really own their bodies and their own sexuality and their own ability to just
00:08:54
Speaker
step into who they are, that was huge in my ability to accept the type of body that I was born with. Although some of them don't, they do a little augmentation here and there, but that was something that helped out a lot with me. The other thing too was actually owning my story because when you're doing that type of a job, it is not socially acceptable. It's not something where you're at a dinner party and you're like,
00:09:21
Speaker
a dancer, you know, although I did do that at a dinner party one time when somebody asked me and it made the whole entire conversation take a left turn to much more interesting topics where people were starting to talk about the interactions and power dynamics between men and women as opposed to, oh, I own this vacation home and oh, I'm going on this, you know, trip and it took it to a deeper level.
00:09:44
Speaker
But that was the one thing also that I learned in working there was just the human connection. I spent more time talking to the guys than actually doing any dancing. And it gave a lot of really great insight into the mindset of the guys that would come into the club. Wow. I never thought of that that way, but I could definitely see that.
00:10:06
Speaker
I bet I do love, I love that. That's crazy. I love that. I love that you said that that is what really and truly allowed you to love yourself as who you were inside and out. That's an incredible experience to be able to take from something like that to just learn to love you.
00:10:27
Speaker
Because that's something that I preach and coach to people so much is to just love themselves for who they are. Because I know I personally have gone through many years of being very insecure and picking at myself and being really hard on myself for the way that I looked in different things. So that's really great.
00:10:48
Speaker
What other, I guess, I guess, lessons and not even if it's not from that job, but any other jobs, any specific lessons or things that, you know, caused you to grow and change because of your job history. I'd say probably the next, I guess, obviously most significant job that I had as far as lessons was that was when I was working as a 911 dispatcher.
00:11:15
Speaker
So when you're taking the incoming calls, and nobody calls 911 when they're having a good day. They just don't. You come across so many emergent and really heart-rending situations where you've got a mom on the phone who's screaming about her child's not breathing because they pulled him out of the swimming pool. And there's just so many things where you have got to just stay in the space to be able to help them through it.
00:11:42
Speaker
I'd say probably one of the hardest calls that I took was a woman who called in screaming on the phone. They shot my baby. He shot my baby. And I'm like, oh my. And I and I figured it was a drive by because the area that I worked in was was predominantly gang gang area. And, you know, and I'm trying to get suspect information. Did you see the car? Did you see which way he went? She's like, no, you don't understand. It was my son. What ended up happening is the father had left an unsecured shotgun in the garage.
00:12:11
Speaker
and the nine year old son found it and accidentally killed his two year old baby sister. So when the paramedics got there, you know, they're, you know, she's in the driveway holding her baby girl who it's, I'm going to go into the details of it. It was very, very hard call to take to hear. Sorry. Just, just to hear her on the phone and be able to stay in that space to be able to help her through it. So.
00:12:38
Speaker
Being in situations when you are seeing people in crisis, it does kind of level up your ability to handle very high stress environments and high stressful experiences. So yeah, did that for six years.
00:12:55
Speaker
That's great. Like my heart is like, you know, my heart sank and I'm, you know, and I'm just listening to the story, right? So I can only imagine being that person on the other line and taking, I think a lot of times, you know, we all think about, you know, the firefighters and the police officers, the people on the ground and not really thinking about the people that are behind the scenes or behind that phone line, when those calls, because, you know, in order for them to go out, the call has to come in.
Surviving Dangerous Situations
00:13:20
Speaker
and that experience and even just having to go through life. I mean, you know, when you get those calls and like you said, they're happening a lot more frequently than we like to think that they do. And just the weight that you carry from that and that you have to take home every day and just and still get up and do it again the next day. I'm sure that that was very challenging to do that for so many years.
00:13:44
Speaker
Yeah, in the beginning when I was first doing the job, I would have dreams, nightmares of having all of these emergencies happening and not having the cars to send to them. It's like, oh, this car is too far away, and this person just got shot, and this one's not breathing, and that sort of thing. And at the time, I was in my early 20s when I worked there. So I really kind of set the stage
00:14:09
Speaker
for later iterations of my ability to just step up and handle things when I have to. Yeah. And just learning as a young 20-something year old, just learning about life and the difficulties and things that can come up. So those are all very, very scary moments. Even just taking those calls and dealing with that
00:14:37
Speaker
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Speaker
MBS Pit Co. is more than just activewear. It's a lifestyle. Join our community and be part of our exciting journey from day one to celebrate fitness, self-care, and your hero within. Don't just wear it, live it. All right, now let's dive back into this episode. Have you personally had any like really scary moments in life? Okay, which one? No, I have one.
00:15:46
Speaker
Now I have had quite a few. The area I grew up in was kind of like, I don't know, Breaking Bad meets Jerry Springer show. So there was, yeah, well, there was the meth labs and the drive-by shootings and the parking lot fist fights. And it was, it was very, it was kind of a tough, tough neighborhood to grow up in. So my first, uh, I guess scariest experience was when I was 18, I was coming home from an 18 and older club.
00:16:12
Speaker
And a gang member had followed me home and tried to kidnap me at gunpoint in front of my house. Yeah, it worked out okay. It was obviously his first time because he wasn't very good at it. He totally messed that up. Yeah, he totally fucked it up. And this was prior to me working and working at the sheriff's department, but having grown up in that type of environment, you were constantly on the lookout for
00:16:40
Speaker
Predatory situations where as a you know, young woman you're trying to make sure that you don't end up being a statistic So yeah, so I ended up putting enough distance between us He had me get out of my car and wanted me to get into the car with him and I will say ladies With daughters, I will tell you this right now You make sure that they know never ever ever get into the car
00:17:03
Speaker
I don't care if the person has a knife. I don't care if they have a gun. Do not leave where you are with somebody, because the chances of you coming back alive are not good. So do whatever you can to get away. In my particular situation, he did have a gun on me, but I managed to out, I don't want to say outsmart him, but managed to put enough distance between us. I told him that my driver's door, which he had approached while I was in my car,
00:17:31
Speaker
I told him the door was jammed and it didn't open. So I started to get out on the passenger side to put more space in between us. And then I was like, okay, I want to take my purse. Can you put my purse in the car? And I tried to throw my purse so he'd have to bend over to pick it up. But it landed on the roof of the car. He tossed it into his car. Well, as soon as I saw his focus wasn't completely on me, I took one step into the planner and went running, jumped over a fence and took off. So yeah, do not get in the car.
00:18:00
Speaker
But that was the first one. That was the most scary out of the five gun incidences I've had. Wait, five? There were more? There have been more. I told you, I didn't grow up in a really great area.
00:18:13
Speaker
So, yeah, so the majority of them were in my, you know, the first three. The next one was kind of a controlled environment. I was working at the L.A. County Sheriff's Department at the time. I had taken a call from a woman that was calling in saying that her father was going to kill her sister and her sister's boyfriend because they were junkies and they had been terrorizing the family, that sort of thing. And she wanted us, me, to send an officer to the location. But she was calling from somewhere else.
00:18:41
Speaker
I was concerned about there being a possible situation where there would be an ambush for the officers. So I had to watch deputy come in and take the call with her. And then I saw a guy come in the station and I figured I'd go out and help him when he came up to the counter. So I went out to help him. Turns out it was actually the father that she was calling about. The two bodies were in the car and he came in and pointed the gun at me. But there was about an hour, roughly 45 minutes to an hour standoff in there.
00:19:07
Speaker
before he was taken into custody, but his intent coming in was basically he wanted death by cop. He wanted somebody to kill him because he thought he had cancer and his whole way to tie up everything when he was dying was to kill his daughter and her boyfriend, go to the sheriff's station, get killed so he wouldn't have to go through the whole cancer thing.
00:19:30
Speaker
I mean, he ended up in prison and it also was then revealed or determined during the court and stuff like that that he didn't actually have cancer.
Confronting and Overcoming Fear
00:19:38
Speaker
Yeah. So that, that was the second one. Yeah. The, the third one was easy. Just a guy went into my carport and tried to see easy. Well, no, the third one was easy because I had the gun that makes it much easier. I've done this twice already. Here we go again. Let's do this. This right now, the third one was actually, uh, was much easier because somebody had gone into my carport and tried to steal my, my Ninja motorcycle. They were punching the ignition.
00:20:07
Speaker
I heard it in my apartment and it was like three o'clock in the morning. So I went running out there and underwear and a tank top with my Beretta. I just basically told the guy, you better run or I'm going to shoot you. So that was pretty much it. So we took off. So that one was quick, easy one done, went back to bed. Not a big deal. So the fourth and fifth one, those were domestic violence related. But by then, hell. I'm an expert at this, right?
00:20:36
Speaker
It's a yeah. So that's insane. Like to have to be at gunpoint or anything like that once in your life, much less five times like I couldn't even imagine. You know, it's I don't even know how to explain this.
00:20:53
Speaker
But when you're in the moment, or at least when I'm in the moment, everything slows down. And it gets really quiet. And then your brain is just like ricocheting, making plans. And what do I do next? And what's the next best thing? And you have almost like a knowing, or at least in the situations I've been in, I had some sort of knowing that I wasn't going to get shot. So I don't know what that is, whether it was any sort of intuition off of the person that I was in the situation with.
00:21:23
Speaker
or whether, I have no idea. I guess you just naturally go into survival mode, right? Absolutely. And just anything and everything I'm going to do to save myself in this moment. Absolutely. That's another key thing I want to tell women that anybody who lives alone, okay, women living alone, set up your house so that that way there is something in every single room, in every corner of room where you can stab somebody, bludgeon somebody or shoot them.
00:21:52
Speaker
because if somebody breaks into your house, they're not coming in to get a cup of tea. So make sure that you're the one that walks out and they go out in a bag.
00:22:01
Speaker
I've been a single woman before and that thought has never crossed my mind. So that is, I mean, not even just a single woman, right? I guess just anybody and everybody. I mean, cause I know, I mean, I'm married, but my husband works a lot, you know, he's not home very often. So a lot of times I am by myself, you know, so that is, that's really, really
00:22:24
Speaker
valuable information for anyone to have just to know that at any point in time that you have a way to defend yourself. Absolutely. Yeah. And also the, I don't know if you want to say confidence. I do have a friend who was in a situation where somebody, a stranger grabbed her.
00:22:42
Speaker
and pulled her behind a building. And in that moment, all she kept thinking was, if I just do what he wants, I'll be okay. You know, that sort of thing. So you never know whether their mindset is, you know, a Ted Bundy sort of thing or a, you know, trigger Jeffrey Dahmer sort of thing, and you're gonna end up as Pate. You just gotta do whatever you can to make sure that you survive.
00:23:08
Speaker
And I know this sounds like a really kind of left turn from what we were going to be talking about, but I just want to throw that out there. From the things that I've seen working at the Sheriff's Department, from the things I've experienced living in a few not that great areas, plus also being involved in a couple of domestic violence situations, you have to make sure that you are the one that goes out OK, that comes out of it OK.
Single Parenthood and Education
00:23:35
Speaker
Annette, you have been through so many obstacles in your life and just the amount of times that you've had to pivot just in your careers alone. I mean, just, I mean, your careers were all so very different and the amount of times that you've had to pivot. What do you think has molded you the most into becoming the woman you are today? I would say most definitely that is solo parenting.
00:24:01
Speaker
That was solo parenting. I didn't even have it on my to-do list. Motherhood was not on my to-do list. I'm like, I'm going to have a career. I'm going to be an actor. So I had moved to Hollywood, got a commercial agent, was going on auditions, was doing North Hollywood Playhouse and, you know, and some film and TV background work and was just wanting to become an actor. And then at 20 years old, I got pregnant. So I had to.
00:24:29
Speaker
take a look at what I was going to do. And every decision we make in our life is going to take us on a different path. And that one definitely took me on a very different path. I raised my son on my own from zero to 14 when I met my now ex-husband and was married for 10 years. My son actually gave me away at the wedding.
00:24:53
Speaker
Being a solo parent, and I'm sure even with moms that are married as well, so much of what you end up doing is sacrificing maybe what you want for what's the best choice to make sure that your child grows up and is able to be happy and healthy and successful and that sort of thing. So I would say most definitely the sacrifice and the selflessness of being a mom made a huge difference on where I was initially with
00:25:22
Speaker
you know, being very focused on career and what I wanted to do for me and where I wanted to go with my life. So definite a detour, but it was a wonderful detour and I have an amazing son. So it's all worked out well. Can you tell us a little bit more about your son? Cause I know off camera, we talked a little bit about your son and just the things that you went through with him and it's got where he is today. Cause I think that alone says so much for you as a woman, as a mom,
00:25:52
Speaker
in all that you've been through and, and to what your son is doing and that, you know, the incredible person that he is today. He's amazing. I, I, he, honestly, I used to tell him that he was my magnum opus and he hated when I said that, but he is, he is my greatest work. He's my greatest work because I put everything into making sure that he could be where, you know, put him in a position where he could, could thrive. And he's most definitely doing that. Started out when he was in school. Young was getting a lot of
00:26:22
Speaker
feedback from the teachers, you know, he's ADHD. He's got, you know, a dyslexia or something. I mean, he can't concentrate. He's always out of the seat. He's causing trouble. So there was, you know, detentions and, you know, reports home and that sort of thing. And then he started coming home saying things like, you know, everybody hates me. Everybody thinks I'm stupid. I wish I would just die. And I was like, okay. Hold up. You know, this isn't going to happen. So I went in and,
00:26:49
Speaker
had an appointment with all of his teachers, the counselor, the principal, and I'm like, okay, what can we do to teach my son? Clearly there's a problem here. So they went ahead and did- What grade was that? He was in sixth grade.
00:27:02
Speaker
So he was in sixth grade at that time. So when I sat down with everybody, this was at the very first semester of his seventh grade year. So I said, okay. And I had been kind of putting off doing any of the IEP type testing work because I didn't want him to get pigeonholed and I didn't think he needed medication. So they went ahead and did the IEP and they came back and they said, yeah, you know, it doesn't seem to have any, you know,
00:27:30
Speaker
ADHD, no processing problems, no learning disabilities. So they told me that they thought it was because there was no male figure in the family. Oh, hello. You want to watch the top blow off of my head at that point? I'm like, Oh no, I don't have any problems with them at home. So, you know, here's what we're going to do. And right in that moment, I decided to pull them out of school.
00:27:51
Speaker
I'm like, I can do this better. So I pulled him out of school and then started going to homeschool conferences to find out, okay, how do I teach my kid on my own? So I filed an R4 with the state of California to declare my home a private school, and then started going through some classes, realized, okay, my son's a kinesthetic learner. He's very tactile, very hands-on.
00:28:15
Speaker
That's why he was out of his seat not paying attention and everything in school is they don't teach to kinesthetic learners. They teach audio and visual learners.
00:28:23
Speaker
So the kids who end up getting pushed out into continuation school or often being, you know, problem kids in school, it's because they're not being taught in the way that they learn. So I started kind of an experiential teaching with him where it was about experiences, you know, okay, here, take my, uh, you know, my SLR cannon camera from college and we're going to go to the wild animal park. And I'm going to teach you about depth of field and perspective and shutter speed and
00:28:52
Speaker
all of these other things. So started getting him doing things. It was working with his hands. Got him also involved in Little League. And there was a lot of things to do to keep him physically learning. And he did go back into public high school. He wanted to meet girls. So I said, all right, as long as you have any problems, you can go to public high school. So while he was going to high school, he started taking the photography classes in high school.
00:29:18
Speaker
kind of blew through all of those. So I petitioned the school board to allow him to take photography classes at the local community college to account for his high school graduation requirements. So he was driving off campus in his junior year and junior and senior year to take digital photography and other classes, Photoshop classes and such at the community college.
00:29:39
Speaker
And then he was bringing the information back to his photography class and he was like a photography aide at his school. Graduates from high school, you know, and I reached out to a professional commercial photographer that I knew and asked if my son could be an intern for him, you know, and just kind of clean the studio and learn from him and that sort of thing. So.
00:29:59
Speaker
He now still is in a friendship relationship with that mentor from high school. My son's 35 now. He's been a professional photographer since he was 19. Started out shooting weddings for 10 years and now he's doing a lot of e-com. So shooting for clothing magazines and like Santa Barbara life and style also and does some celebrity photography. And yeah, he's amazing.
00:30:26
Speaker
super proud of what he's done with the photography and learning and growing in this craft. That's so incredible. So the reason I wanted you to tell all of that Annette is because parenting, when you are married, even though there are difficulties in parenting, it helps because you have someone there. So this is really the message that I'm wanting to get out to the single moms out there because there are so many of them that
00:30:55
Speaker
You know, it's hard. It is so hard to be a single mom because you question every mom questions everything that we do with our children and what's next and how should I be with them and what should I do in school and activities and all of these things.
00:31:11
Speaker
You know, it's just, it's hard. So with everything that you went through, all of the pivots that you had to make throughout your life, that you still were front and center for your son.
Balancing Single Motherhood and Personal Growth
00:31:25
Speaker
And that even though you had the school system telling you that he had all of these problems,
00:31:31
Speaker
And what you did, what you didn't mention, what I, what you told me is that when that, during that time, that is when you were working as a topless dancer. So that you were able to do something like that in that career and still homeschool your son. And through all of that, that he has turned out to be such an incredible human with, and this amazing job and he's doing great things.
00:31:54
Speaker
It's just that for single moms to know you can do it and you are a good mom and that even though in the moment things may seem hard and that you can do it. I mean, look at what you did for your son and everything that he's been able to accomplish in his life. So I'm sure that he is also super grateful for you as well.
00:32:17
Speaker
because had you not been that person to step up for him, things could have turned out a lot differently for him. So kudos to you because that's incredible. Thank you. Thank you. I will say as a note to all moms, single moms or otherwise, is you've got to advocate for your child. You know them better than the school system does, you know, and the schools, I'm not saying there, there can be some reform that would definitely help. But honestly,
00:32:47
Speaker
Parents need to take a look at their kid, find out what their skill sets are, what their aspirations are, what they enjoy doing, things that they have passions for, and find a way to help them turn those things into a career, something where they could be self-supporting and don't have to be at the mercy of somebody else telling them how much they're worth or when they have to come to work and what they have to do.
00:33:12
Speaker
I'm a huge advocate of absolutely finding out what your kid is good at and helping them succeed in that. So I've heard a lot about everything that you've done in your careers, everything that you've done as a mom, for your son, all of your scary moments that you've been through in life. But what about you as a person and you as a net? What's something
00:33:36
Speaker
fun and interesting about you, whether it's about you or something that you like to do just for fun when it comes to Annette. Oh, boy. Annette is an education junkie, kind of information junkie. I love learning new things. So anything that catches my eye, I go down the rabbit hole and I've taken classes in
00:33:56
Speaker
jumpy drumming and henna tattooing and all kinds of different martial arts classes and dance classes. And the one thing right now that I've been really enjoying is I'm doing a lot of quad street skating. So I skate backwards on quad roller skates in the street
00:34:16
Speaker
My dog and I logged 174 miles last year skating. So I skated 116 days and I love it. I started getting back into it a little bit during the pandemic. And then this last year just decided to double my 52 days of the previous year and made it 116 this last
Pursuing Personal Interests
00:34:38
Speaker
year. And we'll see what it turns out to be this year, but it's a great exercise and it's fun. My dog likes to go. So that's,
00:34:46
Speaker
one little fun thing I like to do. Are you part of it? And listen, excuse me, because I'm so naive to all of that, right? But are you part of any groups? Like, I know that there's the groups of, you know, girls or men and women that they skate together. I don't know what they're called. And I'm like drawing a blank. But meetups, I've gone to a meetup before. And it was actually a skate dancing meetup.
00:35:06
Speaker
And I have great video of me totally eating it too, as far as like landing. I was videoing while I was skating and my skate, yeah. So, so you see the whole camera was like, boom, boom, boom, as I'm laughing and I'm sitting on the ground because once she's up and then she's not, I've been to some skate meetups. They were nice social events, but when I skate, I really like to skate. So I skate more for distance rather than, you know, than just social. And it's,
00:35:34
Speaker
So I enjoyed that. I have been to a lot of meetups. And if anybody isn't familiar with meetup.com, I'll be the first one to go go on there and find things that you're interested in. I've been in, I'm a joiner too. So I've been in book clubs and crafting groups, you know, scrapbooking groups, various different, you know, like dog type meetups. And, uh, and I started getting back into
00:35:57
Speaker
This was years ago, like eight years ago, getting back into volleyball because I played volleyball in high school, JV and varsity, but they have even volleyball meetups. So I started playing beach volleyball, which I absolutely love. So for the last eight years, I've been back on the sand playing co-ed twos of each beach volleyball. And that's great exercise and super fun and really social.
00:36:22
Speaker
Okay. What a great way to meet new people and just get out there. I am so glad you brought, cause I've never heard of that. And I know a lot of people who would be really interested in that. So meetup.com. I'm going to put that on the show notes for everyone. Yeah. Meetup.com. I have been going to things on meetup in every city I've lived in more for more than 20 years. So it's been around for a long time. And if you don't find a group that you want to join, you can make a group.
00:36:52
Speaker
you know, you just go on there. I believe it's like, I think it's like $100 a year for the, you know, to have the subscription. I know some people use it also for filling workshops for business type things as well. You know, there's everything from Tai Chi and yoga on the beach to, you know, other, just anything you could possibly think of, painting meetups,
00:37:15
Speaker
There's one that I joined that was a conversation meetup about taboo topics where everybody would get together and have debates about things that you normally couldn't have other intellectual conversations with, maybe with people that you know. But yeah, it's telling you meetup.com. It's a great way to meet new people, especially if you're new to a new town or just want to start getting into something that you're interested in.
00:37:42
Speaker
whether you want to find people to cycle with or walk with, you know, it's, there's moms, girls, like singles groups, you name it. So I should be getting what you just like. Right. Right. Advertising for
Recommended Reads for Personal Development
00:37:56
Speaker
them. That is so cool. Like I am like, I've never heard of that before. And we didn't talk about this. So I'm very, very intrigued by that. And like I said, I'm pretty sure a lot of our listeners will be too. I know several people who will be very interested. So thank you for sharing that.
00:38:10
Speaker
Yeah, that's really, really cool. All you have to do is go on there also and select various different topics you're interested in. And as soon as somebody creates a meetup for it, you get an email that says, Hey, this new meetup just started. And these people also want to do, you know, underwater basket weaving. So yeah, there is such great information, even just for me personally, and with my business as well. That's something that I'm going to look into.
00:38:38
Speaker
So currently you are a memoir author and coach. I know a lot of our listeners are A, podcast junkies. They're listening and we all love listening to podcasts, but a lot of them are also avid readers. And also, everybody loves a good quote or a good motto. So anything that you have personally recommendations for, whether it's podcasts or books or mottos, quotes, any of those. So many. So many. Okay.
Embracing Life's Journey
00:39:04
Speaker
The most recent memoir that I really enjoyed was educated by Tara Westover, and it was about her experience with growing up in a Mormon survivalist family in the mountains in Idaho and being basically uneducated and then going to college at Cambridge. So I mean, her story is really fascinating. I enjoyed that story.
00:39:30
Speaker
See another book, it's not memoir, but very atomic habits is great if you wanna start building some good habits and dropping some bad ones. So atomic habits by James Clear is really good. Quote, I don't know, my favorite quote is, Whit is Educated Insolence by Aristotle, which is kind of among out there, but let's see, motto, motto. You know, I've been saying something for a while now. It is what it is for as long as it is until it isn't.
00:40:00
Speaker
And that sounds, and a lot of people say, oh, I hate that. It is what it is. You know, you can change things. Well, in this, what it does is it allows you to release your attachment to the outcome of something you don't have any control over. So, which a lot of times that's a relationship. You know, a lot of times that's a relationship. You can't make somebody, you know, change how or who they are, you know? So you just have to either
00:40:40
Speaker
My eye, if you're watching on YouTube, over here, why am I like, it looks like I'm crying. My left eye has been watering like crazy for no reason since yesterday. Like, and it's just random. I'll just be sitting here and all of a sudden it's just like pouring and I'm like, what's wrong? You can't see it on video. So you're good. Just cry, cry for me.
00:40:50
Speaker
be in that space for what it is or move on, that sort of thing.
00:41:04
Speaker
Okay, so for listeners, I'm going to repeat something that you just said because I have said this book and I've probably had at least five listeners now that have said this book, Atomic Habits. If you have not read it, get the book, pick it up and read it because it will change your life. If you really dive in and listen and follow through with what James Clear says in that book to do, it is an incredible book. It is an incredible book.
00:41:33
Speaker
to read. So it's just so funny because every time I ask people about what books they like, that book comes up almost every single time. So if you haven't been listening to the podcast, this is your first time. I'm telling you that book has been said by everyone. So pick it up if you have not already read it. So what would be your best piece of just life advice? Life advice.
00:41:58
Speaker
I would say you've lived a lot of it. So what's your tips on how to survive? You know, survivalist podcast. I'd say, you know, live your authentic self, you know, just live in your authenticity and, you know, your vibe will attract your tribe. So if you were trying so hard to be something or fit in and be somebody you're not, if everybody's running around doing that,
00:42:26
Speaker
Nobody actually really knows each other and you're not finding the right people that you're gonna click with so step into your authenticity and Yeah, and and if I were to give any takeaways You know from this I hope that I don't know I hope that you have the confidence to own your story no matter what you've been through whether it has to do with you know family relations or
00:42:53
Speaker
romantic relationships or anything that you dealt with in your careers or in your childhood. Step into it and own your story. Nobody can shame you if you own it. I mean, it's the analogy I like to use. And I don't know if there's probably some people that haven't seen the movie, but there's a movie called Eight Mile with Eminem. And there's a scene when he's about to go up on stage and his friend says to him, well, what if he says that you live in a trailer park and you
00:43:23
Speaker
You know your mom's dating a guy you went to high school with and you know And that he's sleeping with your girlfriend and all this and he lays out all of this stuff that the other person could shame You know him for yeah, and he thinks about so he goes up on stage and he says yeah, I do live in eight-mile Yeah, this this this and he knocks it all out and says okay now what you got So honestly if you own your story, there's nobody's gonna be able to shame you for it
00:43:50
Speaker
Just, and that also, that's where you're going to find your tribe. You're going to find people that go, I like this person's just realism. They're authenticity. They're 100% real. So those are the people I connect with. So I would say that would be own your story and also write your story. Write your story and share it with others because you never know what you've been through that can help somebody else.
00:44:20
Speaker
Write it for your children so that that way they know what their family background is, what your experiences are. There are some stories that I... My father passed when he was 46 and I was 21. So there are stories about who he was prior to being my dad that I found out bits and pieces of it. Like, okay, he used to race demolition derby. The cars that crash into each other in the arena
00:44:48
Speaker
I didn't know that. He was drafted for Vietnam. I don't know what he thought about the war. I don't know what he thought about his time in the army. All of these are stories that you can share with your children if you just write them down. I guess that's it. Okay. So I just got chills several times while you were talking.
00:45:07
Speaker
So your vibe will attract your tribe. I love that. I love that quote. I'm putting that somewhere and own your story because that is, you are so true. And I love that movie actually. That was one of my favorite movies growing up. I've watched that movie so many times because it's true because if you, you shouldn't be, no one should be ashamed of whether it's their, their past or their current.
00:45:34
Speaker
It is everything that you've going through in life is part of you and what has made you who you are today. So regardless of what you may personally think about it or what other people may think about it, it is how you got to be the person that you are today. So yes, absolutely own it 100%. So what does finding my best self, the woman beyond the Cape mean to you?
00:46:03
Speaker
I would say that it would it would be being able to be in those like quiet moments of solitude when you're just completely comfortable with you know or me where I'm completely comfortable with who I am you know just when there's nobody else around I can go you know I'm not
00:46:29
Speaker
Just being comfortable with yourself in in all aspects of it Because you only get that I'd like to say you only get one time around on this rock. It's your life Live it enjoy it own it write about it Yeah, it's the only one you get as far as we know. I Love that. I have enjoyed talking with you so much and getting to know you and hearing your story and
00:46:56
Speaker
stories. And I hope, and I know our listeners will take a lot away from this episode too. You've shared so much and so many different aspects too. I think a lot of different people will be able to resonate with your interview in different ways.
00:47:15
Speaker
So thank you so much for sharing today. It means a lot to me and listeners as well. So if you're listening and this podcast episode resonated with you, or if you know someone
00:47:30
Speaker
who is going through something and they need to hear it, share it with them. We're going to drop in the show notes, some information about Annette, if you'd like to reach out to her about maybe doing memoir writing, I will also share your book as well. And any other social channels or anything like that that you'd like to share, that'll all be in the show notes. And that about wraps it up.
00:47:53
Speaker
Last but not least, you are strong, you are capable and you are worthy. I love you and I'm endlessly rooting for you. We'll chat soon.
00:48:03
Speaker
Well, that's a wrap on today's episode of finding my best self. It's been real. It's been fun. We hope you found a piece of your story in ours and feel a little more inspired to chase after your best self. And don't forget to share this episode with someone who needs a little boost today or a good laugh and make sure to subscribe to our podcast. So you never miss an episode. Nothing says owning your confidence, like a new outfit from MBS Fitco. Check out the show notes for the link to shop our luxury athleisure. Go ahead, girl, treat yourself.
00:48:33
Speaker
And if you've got a story to share or a topic you're dying for us to cover, drop us a line. Our email is in the show notes. Just reach out and let's keep the conversation going. So until next time, keep owning your confidence, embracing the chaos. And remember, the best version of you is just an episode away. And again, we love you and we're endlessly rooting for you.