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The Costs of People-Pleasing
156 Plays1 year ago
Do you find yourself constantly putting other people's needs before your own? Do you struggle with saying "no" and setting boundaries? You may be a people pleaser. In this episode, we explore what causes people-pleasing behavior and provide practical tips for breaking the cycle.
First, we discuss the common causes of people-pleasing behavior, including low self-esteem, fear of rejection, and cultural expectations. We also talk about the negative consequences of people-pleasing, such as burnout and resentment.
Next, we offer strategies for overcoming people-pleasing behavior. We talk about the importance of recognizing the problem, identifying your needs and priorities, and practicing saying "no." We also discuss the value of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.
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Transcript
Introduction to People Pleasing
00:00:14
Speaker
Hey guys, so welcome back to random basic. So today we are going to be talking about something that I honestly was not sure if I want to talk about because that is something I struggle with people pleasing. I think maybe more people actually struggle with this than I anticipated.
Consequences and Avoidance of People Pleasing
00:00:36
Speaker
And that is something I am currently struggling with and have been struggling with my whole life.
00:00:41
Speaker
And I feel like that is something that we should definitely get into and probably just like talk about the consequences and what are some of the ways to avoid it. So that's going to be the topic today.
New Microphone Excitement
00:00:53
Speaker
But before that, let's talk a little bit update, but also I'm so happy that I got the microphone stand. So I'm using this, the second microphone that I have, because this is usually I use for my guests, but
00:01:07
Speaker
I'm trying to switch back and forth like I also lost my other microphone stand and also my other microphone is like falling apart. Not the point, new setup. So if you're watching this on media, that's what it is. So you should definitely get onto it on Spotify or YouTube. But yeah, so a little bit update that let me just mention. I know I have been saying that
00:01:32
Speaker
like April has been like such a crazy month and it still is because it hasn't ended yet I'm still like waiting I'm like when is this going to end it's just like taking forever it reminds me so much that March all this time because March also feels like the longest months and April I feel like felt even longer for me because I kept looking at my camera roll and I'm like oh like I did this I did this and I'm like it's all April so it's like quite crazy
Unexpected Dating Experience
00:02:02
Speaker
And there's one experience that I want to mention. Actually, a couple of experiences. One, I actually just went on a date, which is something I was not... It just happened. I was not expecting to go on a date. I was not even in the market.
00:02:19
Speaker
in the dating pool or market at all so just not for me at all honestly not at this stage of my life but it was like a cool experience just like it wasn't movies it wasn't like thank god like sit down like dinner or something because like i wouldn't know what to talk about or just like i'm not at that place yet so maybe some of you guys could agree with this because i feel like after like being in a relationship
Post-Relationship Focus on Self and Career
00:02:49
Speaker
like that has been that's like a long term relationship it is it takes a while to get back to where you are and like to be yourself and like start dating again and I just feel like I'm just not there yet one second I just feel like I really want to
00:03:10
Speaker
focus on myself. I have always been that kind of person. I know this is a red flag, but I've always been that kind of person that would be a relationship after relationship. I have never been the person that just been like single for the longest time has always been like, yeah, like back to back. And even some of the, the relationship that happened, which most of them are like not long-term.
00:03:38
Speaker
except like the very last one I had. So it was like still a relationship in that sense. Short term once, but there were so many and I feel like I've never really had a chance to like figure myself out, figure out what I want, focus on myself. And I feel like this is definitely the time for it because I'm in a new place.
00:04:02
Speaker
I have my own apartment, I feel like I really want to figure this out, find out what I want in life, for my career, but also for myself, and I feel like that is very important for me at this stage. But regardless of state, it was nice, the guy was really nice, he seemed really cool, but I just feel like I'm not there yet, but also what made me realize, and I feel like that's why some people underestimate this guy.
Meeting People in Person vs. Apps
00:04:31
Speaker
This is not a tip, just an information. Dating apps is not the only way to meet people because I'm not on dating apps. And there are so many ways you can meet people. Like I know people make like one of these like memes stuff. Like they're talking about like going to Home Depot and acting like you don't know what you're doing. We're confused and people help you and you like you get picked up. She happened like that, like at Home Depot at a grocery store.
00:05:00
Speaker
which is like Whole Foods after 5 p.m. in downtown Miami. It's like a pickup spot, guys. You will see all the hot people. Or, I don't know, like Equinox or after gym. Walk into your parking garage.
00:05:20
Speaker
there are so many ways that you can meet people that I just never anticipated that would happen because that's literally how it happened for me so I'm just saying that definitely keep your options open because I think dating online is just not the only way and also recently I was listening to the psychologist she was saying actually it's better to meet people in person
00:05:45
Speaker
versus just like online dating apps or just online like through their Instagram and stuff because you already have some sort of perception of them versus when you're meeting them in person you don't know so much you don't even I didn't even know this guy's Instagram or shit so I'm just saying like I feel like it's like a very I don't know spontaneous experience and much better experience I would say anyway so that was it that was a dating experience I had for me and I feel like that would be good for
Sponsorship Highlight: MintMobile
00:06:13
Speaker
the next, I don't know, six months. I don't want a date. Not that I'm saying it, I feel like I'm going to rewind this tweet in the next six months and see where I am. This podcast is brought to you by our partner MidMobile. So once again, I want to talk about MidMobile because I just feel like these days, we are spending so much money on so many things, starting from as little as groceries.
00:06:35
Speaker
to as big purchases like rent. Everything is just so expensive and I just feel like there is no need to spend extra for something that you can find cheaper for the same service or for the same thing. And that's what I love about MinMobile. They offer one of the greatest services in terms of the premium wireless phone service plan for literally the same service.
00:06:59
Speaker
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00:07:28
Speaker
You can just go to their website and buy the number that you want and you can activate it right away. There it is, you have the phone number. I literally just did that for my business and I'm using that phone for my business. Super easy. You can just go to minmobile.com slash wb to use my code and you can just get started for as low as $15 a month.
00:07:50
Speaker
I think that's such a great deal in this economy. So don't forget to take this opportunity. Go to MinMobile.com slash WP.
Causes of People Pleasing: Low Self-Esteem
00:07:58
Speaker
Let's get started on why we engage in this type of people pleasing behavior. I kind of narrowed down to like
00:08:08
Speaker
four reasons. I'm sure there are probably more but those are the four that just kind of stick out to me. One, this is like the big one and I feel like publicly accepting this probably is gonna not be good for me but I just want to put it out there because I'm sure some people struggle with this. Low self-esteem. I accept that I have low self-esteem working on that in progress but that's where it comes from.
00:08:38
Speaker
Cause I think when you have well self-esteem, you feel like you have to please others so you can gain their approval and you can kind of like feel about, feel good about yourself. And because like, you know, they will treat you well. And you were kind of like, Oh, I'm likable. Like I am nice. Like that's kind of how it goes. My perspective in that aspect. And I feel like this is,
00:09:05
Speaker
In theory, you might think that like, oh my God, this is like not so terrible. But I feel like overall, when it comes to like your growth, it hurts you more than it helps you actually grow. Because what happens like over time, you realize like you're like, are they here for me or they're here because I am doing what they want to do.
00:09:32
Speaker
because like I know so you cannot blame them necessarily because like you are doing things that like you just want to please them hence they are like they think that that's what you want to do but like you never tell them like something that you don't want to do you know what I mean so like that kind of affects your life what if like because they don't know my real they're real me and I don't know if they would want to be
00:10:01
Speaker
who is the real me, and then you think that like, oh, I am not that valuable, or I'm not that good so that people can be around me. It is super toxic. It's like self-sabotage in that sense, because I think when you think about in a way that like, oh, people wouldn't accept the real you, and that's why like you are pleasing others, it sucks. And I feel like this is like something
00:10:31
Speaker
to work on and again that's what I'm saying it's like sensitive topic for me because I work on this myself because I think well self-esteem comes in so many places not just like the way you look but also the way you are portrayed or the way you're portrayed yourself there are many moving parts but that's essentially one of the sources of the people pleasing behavior
Fear of Rejection and People Pleasing
00:10:56
Speaker
I feel like I should definitely talk about the low self-esteem another time because that is something huge and probably more sensitive in my sense. I should probably talk about this because I guess because I don't think it's good for me to just talk about. Second, this one is fear of rejection because I feel like we think
00:11:19
Speaker
if we say no or if we don't do what people want to do we will be criticized and hence we are gonna be like not in the crowd and we want to constantly avoid conflict and negative experiences in my sense more like avoiding confrontation in a sense because I mean I am the kind of person that like who just doesn't want to even deal with confrontation so I feel like
Avoiding Conflict Through People Pleasing
00:11:48
Speaker
Usually nine out of ten. I always try to be like yeah sure of course like yes I'm just that kind of person, but I am definitely working on saying more no's and I feel like I will tell you this too is like usually good people or if they are good friends of yours or the person that understands you when you say no and
00:12:15
Speaker
they shouldn't be upset about it they shouldn't be like pissed at like oh my god you said no because they should understand that and they'll be like okay cool but I will say from a very not super super recent experience but like kind of a recent experience this was back in January I think uh or February I think uh that one of the one of my dad's friends who also lives in Miami she like invited me to her
00:12:44
Speaker
like party or something that we she used to do like all the time back in New York City before she moved here. So she was trying to do it in here again. And then she was she invited me and I was like, Oh, thank you. I think first time
00:12:59
Speaker
I was gonna come, but then she rescheduled it because actually she got sick. But second time I rescheduled it, I was like, actually, I'm sorry, I cannot come. I have a lot of practice, but also it's far from me because she does live in the north of Miami. It takes me even the tolls and everything. It takes me over an hour sometimes to get there. So I was like, I'm sorry, I just cannot come. I didn't necessarily think it's inconvenient for him. I would just be too tired or whatever.
00:13:30
Speaker
See, like, I was trying to, like, look out for myself in this sense, but then she made me feel so guilty about it. She's like, oh, like, I don't want you to meet people and, like, I want to show you around or whatever. Then she left me a bunch of voicemails and stuff. They're like, oh, I'm expecting you to come or whatever. And that obviously made me feel bad about it. They're like, oh, because I stuck out to myself and I said no.
00:13:54
Speaker
For myself because like I don't want to be rushing right after my volleyball practice or whatever to just get there It's like I don't want to go. I'm sorry I have in my 20s and there are a bunch of people who are in their 60s there. Nothing wrong with that They're just like I just don't want to be that crap at that time Just an example that she was clearly not a great great person in that sense for me because when someone says no I
00:14:19
Speaker
It's just, it's a no. Like, you don't have to force it. But in that sense, she did force me to it. And that shows a toxic behavior. Usually, if something doesn't benefit you, or you just don't, simply don't want to do it, it's okay to say no. And I'm just trying to learn that. But anyways, I just feel like fear of rejection is definitely huge. And some people definitely experience that. Three, need for control. I feel like it just, what happens is that like,
Illusion of Control via People Pleasing
00:14:49
Speaker
you most of the time it's easier when you please people you kind of get a sense of the like oh I can control the environment not necessarily control the people because I would disagree with that but more like you can control the environment because if you have always said yes to people most of the time people just kind of like
00:15:15
Speaker
you can kind of assume what they're going to do, what that environment is going to be versus like in this case that I just said, right? When I said no, and she kind of latched out, she left me a bunch of white nails, kind of crazy. See, it's like uncontrollable environment because when you say no to people sometimes, you don't exactly know how they're going to respond or how their reaction is going to be. Hence, I feel like it's difficult to control the environment versus when you usually
00:15:44
Speaker
The people pleaser, it's a lot easier to control the environment and you don't have to deal with as much controversy or any drama per se. Which is why sometimes actually I realize why I do the people pleasing because I just personally just don't want to deal with any conflict. I avoid conflict on a regular basis like all the time. I would literally go out of my way
00:16:11
Speaker
to avoid their conflicts. I'm laughing but that's probably not a good case. Definitely don't do that. Last, I'm gonna sound like a therapist but this is how it is.
Childhood Experiences Influencing People Pleasing
00:16:24
Speaker
Childhood experiences because
00:16:28
Speaker
As much as we don't want to admit, the experiences we have had in our childhood shapes us who we are today. And I think what happens usually, and this is something that definitely confirms what I experienced as a child, usually when you grew up in an environment where your needs were met or you were only rewarded for pleasing others, that's
00:16:54
Speaker
why you feel this way and that's why you're people pleasing because when I was growing up uh I was not necessarily always like praised on who I was it was more like oh if I get good grades they were like oh great if I got bad grades they're like like you're terrible like you're not doing well or if I didn't do this it's like you're like you're a bad child or you're you're if you're not quiet or if you're like
00:17:20
Speaker
hanging out or playing too much games. They were like, you are not so great. It's like it was always like about making my parents happy and being like the best child I could be. Uh, that was not great for myself because I always thought like, Oh, if I be quiet, if I get good grades, if I did this, if I played less video games, I'm a good child. Like I was constantly pleasing my parents.
00:17:48
Speaker
And I feel like that's kind of where it came from. Like I feel like at the time I felt like, oh, they wanted the best for me. That's what they were. That's why they were doing it. Like I can see in a sense that yes, but I feel like some of it was also that like, that was not good for me in that sense that I did it just for them. I never thought of
00:18:13
Speaker
myself as a person and that's why I feel like sometimes it's so hard to see your own worth just for yourself because growing up I feel like I only saw my worth based on the grades that I got or based on the behavior that I was putting out there versus just me existing per se because many times that whenever I would have like a great time per se or for me it was a great time
00:18:40
Speaker
like whenever I was with my cousins or like I would like play something or be in a social setting with kids or play video games right afterwards my parents would always remind me that like you wasted this much time where you could have just been at home studying working on yourself so you can be a better student and you can get into better schools like it was constantly about that and I feel like that's why it kind of messed me up in a way I think
00:19:10
Speaker
From their sense, I kind of see why that happened because one of them didn't really go to college and that was really bad for them and they, bad for him and he really wanted to just kind of like, I don't know.
00:19:25
Speaker
get a good education and want his kids to get a better education. But I think that is something that kind of forced me to be a different person, or forced me to have a bit complicated childhood in that sense. But yeah, I feel like that's where my people pleasing tendencies comes from, one of the other aspects of it. And I feel like that's something that you guys could also think about it too.
00:19:52
Speaker
Again, I don't want to sound like a therapist but that is definitely something that a lot of us experience because of our childhood and some of the reasons that I just mentioned.
Recognizing and Addressing People Pleasing
00:20:02
Speaker
Now, let's move on to the other section of this episode talking about how we can stop being a people pleaser. Again, probably easier to set than done but I think those are some of the things that we can discuss and hopefully that will help some of you guys but also help me too because
00:20:22
Speaker
As I mentioned, I am struggling with this too. I think the first one is going to be obviously obvious to say. Very straightforward and it comes to many problems is to just kind of like recognize the problem. This is common for everything across the board. It is important to just understand that this is kind of a problem.
00:20:43
Speaker
I think sometimes it's hard for some people, especially I guess narcissists, to accept that you have some sort of a problem. It takes time to get there, but I feel like once you get there, you can just be like, yeah, that is a problem. But that doesn't mean that you have to kind of
00:21:03
Speaker
hate yourself for it because everyone has problems. You're not perfect. No one is perfect. But I feel like it is important to just kind of accept that you have a problem at least so like you know that it is a problem so you can at least work on it later in life or later. So that is first.
Identifying Needs to Combat People Pleasing
00:21:20
Speaker
Second is identifying your needs and your priorities. This is
00:21:28
Speaker
Difficult in the beginning obviously because I think you have to kind of like make a list of like what do you want? What do you desire? Like what is something that is important for you?
00:21:41
Speaker
I truly think about it sometimes, just look back and I'm like, I'm not sure because I feel like there are so many needs and desires we have when it comes to every stage of our lives. There is obviously the relationship stage, there is work, there is family, friends, so many layers. Obviously, everything is different for everyone.
00:22:05
Speaker
But if you just make a list of what is something that you need, what is something that you desire, it's kind of like a map that you can follow. I know this is so odd to say, but I feel like it is almost like driving with no navigation and you don't know where to go because if you know where you're going,
00:22:29
Speaker
You kind of have an idea. You're like, this is what I want in life or this is what I want in a relationship. This is what I want in a friendship. This is what I want in family. And if you don't respect that, get out. It is harsh, but that's how it works because
00:22:46
Speaker
I realize this and as I'm working on it, especially in terms of relationships that I don't know yet. I'm figuring out. But something like friendships or family, I feel like I'm kind of set and I can see it because I have built such a great relationship with my dad and I feel like I'm in a place that I am completely comfortable with my dad and how we set certain boundaries and how we talk about so many things.
00:23:13
Speaker
I didn't have that before. I learned that as we did it. So I'm just saying like you kind of figure that out as you go and you realize like what is something you want or you desire when it comes to have a relationship with your father, a relationship with your sister or friends. Friends, I am also still figuring out because I feel like there are so many things that that matters to me. Maybe that wouldn't matter to other people. Like loyalty is huge to me. I don't know if it is the Virgo Leo combo.
00:23:43
Speaker
placement is me, but I value that so much. I don't value, yes, it would be good to have a friend who's rich or who's this or who's that, but I value loyalty a lot, and that means so much to me. If you are a loyal friend to me, I feel like, I don't know, that's huge. I don't know, you could be any person, but if you're loyal to me,
00:24:12
Speaker
I don't know. I couldn't ask for a better friend. At least that's what I know so far. Another thing.
Learning to Say No
00:24:20
Speaker
Practice saying no. This is so hard, guys. I know this sounds easy, but many times in my life, I have almost 9 out of 10. I have said yes to many things.
00:24:36
Speaker
Some of the things that I probably should have never said, yes. I have a bunch of stories. Let me start. Let's get comfortable. Okay. So the one of the very first ones that started for me was back in college. There were many times because in high school I was never one of those cool kids. Again, because I was never in the crowd to hang out because I was always busy or at school at home for the studying.
00:25:05
Speaker
In college, I wanted to be a part of the crowd. I wanted to hang out and everything. So whenever someone would invite me to places, before even checking if I wanted to go or if that was the place for me, I would not understand, say yes. If someone offered me a shot, I would be like, yes. If someone offered me a drink, I'd be like, yes. If someone offered me something else, I'd be like, yeah, sure. I always said yes. Then later I realized,
00:25:34
Speaker
That was so bad for me, bad for my health, bad for my mental health, bad for in so many levels because some of the things that I feel like I did when I was drunk or under the influence, that was not me and that reflected poorly on my behavior or on myself, but also the relationship that I had built because of it and that kind of affected, it was kind of like a domino effect, kind of affected everything.
00:26:03
Speaker
I wouldn't necessarily recommend that. Now moving on to relationships after college, there are many times
00:26:13
Speaker
this is me please don't personalize this at all like don't generalize this at all my experience many times I have because I dated so many other races not necessarily white and especially like guys like who are Asian they would necessarily they would be like oh like I like barbecue or I want I like I don't know hot pot or
00:26:44
Speaker
I don't know. Some other things, or I like traveling a lot, there's stuff like that, I don't know. Like, they're random. But I'd be like, yeah, I like hot pots, or I like Korean barbecue, or stuff like that.
00:26:56
Speaker
and impact, I did not. Some of them, I didn't even know what it was because for me, barbecue is barbecue, but I didn't even know what was Korean barbecue, but at that time, because I really wanted to impress the guy, I don't want it to seem like a cool person. So I was like, yeah, I like Korean barbecue. Yeah, like hot pot, I like hot pot. Then later when we actually tried it,
00:27:25
Speaker
because some of it I didn't even try at all, I didn't even know about it. Actually trying some of the food, I was like, ugh, I don't like it. But I never said it to their face, I forced myself to eat it, I didn't. There are many times I have done this in my life, that these things that I didn't necessarily want to do, just to please other people. This was one of the example of a relationship, like some of the times I've disguised, they're like, they're like, uh, I like Broadway, and I was like,
00:27:55
Speaker
Yeah, sounds fun. I'd be like, cool. Or they would be like, I, I don't like some activities that they would want to do and I necessarily wouldn't want to try or do it, but I would do it just to please them. Like I did that vein too many times.
00:28:12
Speaker
Also of his friendships later on too, I was like, you don't want to come. Sometimes I would ask some friends to come with me to events in New York and sometimes they wouldn't come. And I would just not think it personally, but then there would be times that they would ask me to do something for them. I'd be like, yeah, of course.
00:28:29
Speaker
you want me to do your homework, or you want me to do this, or you want me to help you with this, like of course, sure, I will help, just so I can please them. I'm looking back, that was probably so bad for me, because I feel like many times, right afterwards, I felt so bad about myself, because I was like, oh wow, I am, I am like in this level, that like, I think nobody would like me, or nobody would be friends with me.
00:28:58
Speaker
if I said no to them or if I said like I like I don't like this like in my head I always thought like oh if I said the guy that I don't like this kind of food I don't like this I only eat healthy food or I only eat this they would think less of me or they would think like oh you're one of those typical gays who barely eat who are like this or always skinny like I thought like that they would just like say something like that and I would be less desirable or I would be more
00:29:28
Speaker
Basic. Which is the reason why I created it in this podcast because 9 out of 10 people always called me basic. And as much as I didn't want to accept it, now I'm kind of like, yeah, I am basic.
00:29:43
Speaker
take it or leave it. I don't care. I am so sorry that I am basic, but I am. So yeah, long story short, those are some of the things that I should have probably said no to, but I said yes, just please stop. Don't do that to yourself because it comes with surprise. I feel like every single time, this is the best way to put it.
00:30:10
Speaker
Every single time you say yes to people, when you're deep down, you know you're supposed to say no, you're losing a part of yourself, a piece of yourself. And that piece of yourself keeps like, I don't know, you lose it so much towards the end of it, you're like, you don't even recognize who you are because many times, you know, when people said like, do you like this food and you said,
00:30:39
Speaker
yes although you didn't like it and people said like are you this person I'm like yes do you like this thing do you like this music you'd be like yes then towards the end like this persona that you created for them so just so they kind of like you you're looking back you're like I don't know if it is that if that's me and you're like conflicted confused and
00:31:02
Speaker
You feel like you're not around with people that you're supposed to because you didn't necessarily show them who you are truly. And that is truly sad, but one of the great lessons to learn in I guess like cons of being a people pleaser.
00:31:24
Speaker
Number four is setting boundaries.
Setting Boundaries to Manage People Pleasing
00:31:28
Speaker
I think setting boundaries overall is like a big thing. You should always do that regardless, even not in this behavior, overall in life. You should always set boundaries with friends, even with your loved one, with family. You should always have some boundaries, but you should have boundaries in this behavior because so people know
00:31:50
Speaker
that what you are willing to do and what you're not willing to do. It is obviously hard but I think what you can do is like start small and you can work your way up there because you don't want to seem too strict in the beginning and
00:32:09
Speaker
people might see that in like a wrong way and people might think that you're just a bitch. You don't want to be that. So I feel like it's better to just be out there, slowly be like, oh, I can't do this, like small things. Then you can later clarify that I don't want to do this. Like in a group setting or in the family or something, if someone
00:32:36
Speaker
wants to drink you don't want to drink it's okay just say no you don't have to force yourself or if someone I don't know like wants to go somewhere for dinner you don't necessarily like the food or you don't want to go honestly you could say no see like very small things then you can this kind of like setting boundary and also because this shows that self-respect because
00:33:04
Speaker
As much as we feel we want to respect other people, we also need to respect ourselves because that's how we kind of like build our confidence.
00:33:14
Speaker
and this is one of the biggest things I realized at least in my sense that why I had so much like low self-esteem is because there are many times I never respected myself because I thought my decisions were so poor it's because so many times my parents made me feel like I didn't know any better I they only knew better and that was so toxic but now I am sort of an adult right so proud
00:33:44
Speaker
sort of an adult so I need to respect my decisions and I need to respect that whatever I choose and whatever I don't want to do is literally who I am and like I shouldn't be justifying that or I shouldn't be forcing that to change myself lastly this is very common practicing self-care I think
Prioritizing Self-Care
00:34:12
Speaker
it's kind of kind of connects to what I was saying is like neglecting your own needs just to please others is super super toxic because at the end of the day this is the way to end it I would say you have to remember that you are the main character in your own story and everyone is the main character in their own story but in this case whenever you're making a decision or whenever you are in a setting
00:34:41
Speaker
your family if someone wants to do something and you don't necessarily want to do or if someone is asking you if you like something and you don't necessarily like it you don't have to be super aggressive about it but you can simply just be like no I like different kind of things I think in the very beginning I used to think that like people were so rude when I used to tell them like
00:35:10
Speaker
Oh, like, do you like coffee? And sometimes we're like, oh my God, like, uh, some, some people were like, Oh, I don't like coffee. It was like, Oh, it's okay. No worries. You know, but there are sometimes some people are like, Oh my God, coffee is so gross. So it's like, this is that like, they would say some, be it some stuff about coffee. I'm like, I totally get that. But now I understand them like, yeah, someone doesn't like coffee. They don't like it. It's fine. But many times I would literally be like, I like this. I mean, I love coffee. Don't get me wrong. But I'd be like,
00:35:38
Speaker
I would say I like everything because just so like I can be friends with that person. Literally many times I have done that. So I'm like that is very not good because then you have to stick through those choices that you have made and that kind of stuck with you for a while. You have to think of your own needs because your needs comes first and you only have one life and it's important to just prioritize that.
00:36:08
Speaker
It doesn't come easy, but it's kind of like a process of it. Anyways guys, so that was the end of this episode. I hope you guys liked this episode. If you do, please don't forget to rate us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And I'll see you guys next week with another episode. Bye guys.