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Everything Action Commentary: The Man with the Iron Fists (2012) image

Everything Action Commentary: The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)

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For the latest Everything Action Commentary, Zach and Chris are joined by special guest Addam to watch the 2012 martial arts movie The Man with the Iron Fists.  Directed, written by, and starring RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan, RZA is The Blacksmith aka Thaddeus Henry Smith.  Working in "Jungle Village" making fantastical weapons for whoever pays, he's trying to raise enough money to free his love Lady Silk (Jamie Chung) from having to work as a prostitute for Madam Blossom (Lucy Liu), and he eventually gets drawn into a battle between warring factions of the Lion Clan.  While watching the film, the guys discuss how long it takes for the titular Iron Fists to appear, Russell Crowe's unhinged performance as Jack Knife, if the entire movie was just a ploy to shoot endless footage of sexy Asian women, the constant introduction of new characters, and more.

You can rent or buy The Man with the Iron Fists on platforms like Amazon and AppleTV and sync it up with our commentary track to watch along.

We want to hear your comments and feedback. Send them all to contact@everythingaction.com.  Also, let us know your suggestions for movies for us to discuss.

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You can find Adam at @addamthecomic on Twitter and Twitch and at theadman2315#2135 on Discord.

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Transcript

Introduction and Movie Selection

00:00:28
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another Every Nation commentary's Commentary for July 2025. I'm your host Zach. I'm your co-host Chris. And this time we have special guest Adam joining us. Hey.
00:00:40
Speaker
And our movie is actually an Adam pick because Adam i you said like you wanted to like come and watch The Man with the Iron Fists. Yeah, I mean I was re-watching it and it was just so...
00:00:53
Speaker
absolutely ridiculous. I'm like, I gotta to get these guys. and We gotta talk about this. We gotta get it back out into the zeitgeist. We gotta get this on wax.
00:01:05
Speaker
i think I saw it when I came out and i just forgot every single aspect of it. So basically going to get fresh on this one. think this is my fourth time watching it, but like in giant gaps of time.

Availability Challenges

00:01:17
Speaker
so I forget certain details, but I do remember the fighting was really good. This is one of those movies where you could watch it yesterday and still just be like, did that really?
00:01:28
Speaker
You could rewatch it today and you're like, wait, what? I don't remember that part. it
00:01:36
Speaker
So ah it's a little it's little tricky to find a copy. I think you can like rent it or buy it digitally. It's not streaming anywhere. But if you can find a copy of it, pause it right before the Universal logo comes up.
00:01:50
Speaker
ah which is where we are and then um i'll give a count that we get started here so five four three two one play
00:02:07
Speaker
that's right this is a universal joint where is this in halloween horror night
00:02:16
Speaker
Or like a ride. yes This is like the 100th anniversary year too. 2012 like 100th anniversary of Universal. 100 years of Universal.

Homage to 70s Kung Fu

00:02:28
Speaker
like let's just We'll have faith that a guy that has thousands of hours worth of kung fu movie watching under his belt could probably make a good kung fu flick, right?
00:02:38
Speaker
Right, guys? Right? i mean it's Definitely. Definitely. it like If you watch a lot of 70s kung fu movies, this is homage to it.
00:02:50
Speaker
But this is like a grindhouse movie, to be honest. With with Tarantino and el Eli Roth behind it, to make it your extra grindhouse-y. Yeah, like...
00:03:04
Speaker
I mean, this is this is yeah this is like straight up like a Golden Harvest, like, shot by Brothers opening. Yep.
00:03:11
Speaker
it has a lot of good nods to like older Kung Fu shit. it's like, I don't know. But like, I just like the general audience wasn't ready for that. like It's good for like people like us who love action films and these kind of exploitation karate movies, like Kung Fu movies. but Can you imagine if you see like if The Riz was like, hey, to celebrate this anniversary, like we're going to watch this movie in a theater like together?
00:03:40
Speaker
i'll pay a ticket.
00:03:48
Speaker
I believe that's Kung Lee.
00:03:52
Speaker
I mean, work at like what kind of fight even it?

Gore and Fight Scenes

00:03:57
Speaker
It's not even like sumo or anything like that. It's just like, hey, let's just...
00:04:11
Speaker
Yeah, there's just a ludicrous amount of, like, gore for no reason in the same way, too.
00:04:17
Speaker
Just ripped his arms off.
00:04:23
Speaker
Man, there should be, like, a medieval times where, like, you can just see... Yeah, he's risen to show up in, like, an Asian restaurant that's, like, this.
00:04:34
Speaker
Like, the the stage shows us this. I'm not gonna lie, dude, i do kind of aspire to just have like a hidden room just full of dogs.
00:04:52
Speaker
It's been like three minutes and we have no idea what's going but we have an idea. Everyone's just fighting each other now. yep
00:05:04
Speaker
He's got a great ass, like, picker.
00:05:09
Speaker
Is that the man with the iron fist? No. The
00:05:13
Speaker
man with the iron claws? i mean, there's something beautiful about a martial arts movie where you could just start this nonsense fight and it just makes sense.
00:05:38
Speaker
thought these movies really just do feel like, you know, those factory kung fu movies where you had to watch like 14 movies before this to understand what the hell's going on. Oh, yeah.
00:05:49
Speaker
But there's no 14. This is the first movie. You still have no idea what's going on.
00:05:58
Speaker
Yeah, RZA and A.L.A. Roth wrote this movie over like two years. Yeah.
00:06:05
Speaker
Meanwhile...
00:06:12
Speaker
Just try not to stand out whatsoever your town. It's blending in. Assassin's Creed's happening. Yeah, you're alconning your eagle vision this.
00:06:27
Speaker
So there's just there's like magical creatures in this world.
00:06:32
Speaker
Well, ever you people have magical powers in this movie, too. That's the whole point. But it's supposed to be like, you know, not that. Like a grounded martial arts movie.
00:06:44
Speaker
Like, that dude literally just, like, made a cage that can't open for a bird. Cool. He made a toy. So he makes toys, and he also makes, like, blades.
00:06:58
Speaker
And so he made sacrifices.
00:07:03
Speaker
Who's, like, like, Jiucheng, who's, like, 20 years younger than Larissa. Which I think that, like, adds, like, his, like, it's kind of like it's like a Black Tank Top movie. This is... isn is This is literally just like every black dude's fantasy that like moves to Thailand.
00:07:19
Speaker
He's like, yeah, dude, I'm going to move to China. I'm going to take up some sort of blacksmithing or something, learn how to make swords and then just be with the hottest chick in the town.
00:07:33
Speaker
But he's like, he's like close to like the, he's in like the Neil Breen like territory it's like, he's the coolest guy He's got the hottest girlfriend. Like he's the the best fighter. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:45
Speaker
And he he wrote directed Stardust in it. But, like, it's also, like, a struggle that's not too, like, it's not, like, a crazy struggle. His struggle is he just wants to make enough money so his girlfriend stops having sex with other people.
00:08:00
Speaker
You're just like, but that's her job, though. But I don't know if she, like, is, like, a slave to the house, where it's like she had to buy a debt or something.

RZA's Role and Relevance

00:08:11
Speaker
I mean, this movie's all about, like, economics.
00:08:13
Speaker
is she is Is she charging the Rissa, too? Like, does he have to, like, pay to, like, when he goes visit I think that he does. I think that's a scene later on where he just, like, puts money in a box for her or something.
00:08:25
Speaker
And I'm like, yeah you're you're also a customer. brand you're like Yeah, you're just digging a hole bit deeper. Yeah, you're you're you're ordering wings at a Hooters, dude. Calm down.
00:08:57
Speaker
Sir, have to leave her side. Yeah. You have to leave. are there so many goddamn stairs?
00:09:11
Speaker
there' Something happening is very important that it takes him like 30 minutes to run upstairs.
00:09:23
Speaker
Your father has been murdered.
00:09:40
Speaker
You know this movie is one of those films that if you, like, leave to go get a popcorn break and then come back, you're just like, what's happening now? How much of it, like, just gets thrown and in this? They introduce, like, five characters. Yeah.
00:10:01
Speaker
like I was armorpi ah i thought you said you would never leave me. Yeah, but that was before I had to do this whole vengeance for my father's death thing.
00:10:12
Speaker
you see Like, you don't need to do this. like I take back our house. He has to represent the lions, which is weird because he doesn't have anything lion-based.
00:10:25
Speaker
yeah If anything, he's got more of a like a hedgehog thing going on.
00:10:54
Speaker
You are now the WWE world champion. and
00:10:58
Speaker
like This is one of those confusing movies because you're like, who is on whose side here? yeah like What is going on? like is this to do They didn't even show the death of the father really.
00:11:09
Speaker
Well, quickly. he guys he was He was killed in that like brawl at the beginning. But

Russell Crowe's Character Analysis

00:11:14
Speaker
that didn't feel like it was anybody's fault. Oh, yeah.
00:11:29
Speaker
This is the first words of the movie too. Like spoken by somebody that isn't RZA or a narrator.
00:11:42
Speaker
Because you look at you look at the story in a hole and you're like, so what the hell was the point of RZA being involved in this? He's not... Oh no, yeah. like He has nothing to do with this part whatsoever. Yeah.
00:11:59
Speaker
It's also crazy, like, it feels like it's dubbed, but it's not dubbed. It's not.
00:12:06
Speaker
but I think that's, like, intentional. They're trying to make it sound like it's, like, a dubbing? Yeah, it's, like, stiff acting, because if it's too, yeah like, too fluent, it it doesn't sound like what they want from the, but like, original source of the 70s exploitation movies.
00:12:28
Speaker
The RZA is just like, is it surprising? This the RZA, right? Yeah.
00:13:04
Speaker
It's like, why would you make weapons for that person then? It's about that money. Yeah. This dude's just really popular.
00:13:16
Speaker
he the only weaponsmith in town? I guess so.
00:13:25
Speaker
The only one in Jungle Village.
00:13:31
Speaker
we like They're like, sir, you're in an ancient you're in an ancient Chinese village. How did you get a Bluetooth speaker in here? like What is going
00:13:51
Speaker
This is the first time I've ever seen like a blacksmithing scene in a movie where they're using like proper PPE and safety precautions. Yeah, it's just like a leather smock. Oh boy, here we go. For no reason.
00:14:08
Speaker
The American. but not really No, he's like Australian or something. this
00:14:17
Speaker
He gave a child cigarette.
00:14:21
Speaker
I'm pretty sure you could probably smoke in that place. Just look at, just judging by the outside. who
00:14:30
Speaker
Like, if anything, like, there should be like an opium den in this building.
00:14:40
Speaker
ah This is Russell Crowe was like, can I be like a Clint Eastwood type character? but Yeah, I'm done. I'm i'm in in this movie.
00:14:49
Speaker
and horly blue Was Crowe an inspiration in this movie? like What's the Mortal Kombat character? That's like the gunslinger guy. oh and know you're talking about. Something Black.
00:14:59
Speaker
like Aaron Black. like Oh yeah, Russell Crowe in The Man with the Iron Fists.
00:15:10
Speaker
What?
00:15:18
Speaker
It just turns out to be like completely racist.
00:16:11
Speaker
is it this This part, like him being in here always felt to me like the Lethal Weapon 5 and Always Sunny where like Frank is just casting himself to sleep without women. Oh yeah. yeah this is the only This is like the only reason Russell Crowe signed out to be on this movie. yeah It's like get to kiss a bunch of hot Asian women, alright.
00:16:30
Speaker
yeah and most other Russell Crowe movies, he never kissed Asian women. you know like And this is like his only chance to make sense. This is my one chance.
00:16:48
Speaker
It's so weird because it's like, hey, so an Australian actor is going to pretend to be an English person and he's going to be an American cowboy. Yeah.

Dubbing and Acting Style

00:16:58
Speaker
In China. He's like, I see i seek no quarrel with you. I'm just trying to steal your bitch.
00:17:04
Speaker
You're like, what?
00:17:10
Speaker
But this is a pretty good intro for what happens. you don't want to You don't want to sleep with that fat old dude. yeah Sleep with me. They call me Crazy Hippo.
00:17:28
Speaker
pretty assuming that Crazy Hippo also speaks English.
00:17:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:40
Speaker
Lucy, Lucy. Is there a knife or whatever?
00:17:46
Speaker
Mr. Knife.
00:18:01
Speaker
Dude, this camera is wild, dude. Yep. What?
00:18:09
Speaker
Because it's like facial tracking him yet all. It's crazy. It's like also very unsteady cam to do that. So it just seems like that they just circle around Russell Crowe with like a camcorder. She's very nonchalant about having a dude just ripped in half and just like... She's like, there's blood everywhere. Everybody just goes about their day.
00:18:36
Speaker
That's what happens in Jungle Village. Yes, because fat people only like fat people.
00:18:58
Speaker
Konnichiwa. Not even Chinese. He doesn't even try to learn Chinese. He's like...
00:19:10
Speaker
Do you think that's one of those things where like they are speaking Chinese, but like we you hear it as English?
00:19:19
Speaker
I mean, that rule's broken because there was legit crazy hippos spoke Chinese, and Russell Crowe was just like, ain't speaking that. Yeah, Russell Crowe didn't even try for this movie at all. He's like, yeah, I'll be in your movie, but I'm not learning Chinese.
00:19:41
Speaker
Look, he does literally give her money.
00:19:46
Speaker
I don't know if she uses that money to pay for like her freedom. it's like I'm so confused of how this works. is She has puts it in the box. She's got to give some Lucy Liu. mean... yeah
00:20:03
Speaker
He doesn't even know her real name. she was He just calling her Lady Silk.
00:20:28
Speaker
Yeah. yeah The Chinese version of Ratatouille.
00:20:34
Speaker
The rat king. Yeah.
00:20:43
Speaker
We have cheap meals here because they're all made by rats.
00:20:57
Speaker
Or it could be all of the rats.
00:21:06
Speaker
Man, not even like upper walls. You're just like out in the open. I guess he doesn't want to know if like danger is coming from all sides. Yeah. It would be kind of nice taking a shit outdoors like that.
00:21:19
Speaker
Except for strangers walk past. I can't do people as they walk past. Direct eye contact. It's like, hey what's up? Crab apples, am I right?
00:21:42
Speaker
The fact that Russell Crowe's character is named Mr. Blade and this dude isn't is kind of weird. That is weird, yeah.

X-Blade's Combat Style

00:21:50
Speaker
These guys are literally made out of blades.
00:21:54
Speaker
I think like... No, he's called X-Blade.
00:22:03
Speaker
But X-Blade sounds like a PC part.
00:22:20
Speaker
I mean, first off, for X-Blade, like, his he's got a master in, like, short-range attacks. So, just don't let him hug you. Yeah.
00:22:31
Speaker
That should be his, like, finishing move. He hugs you and then, like, spikes to, like, it pale you from his chest.
00:22:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:54
Speaker
X-Blade, no!
00:23:00
Speaker
He's becoming an X-Blade.
00:23:17
Speaker
overdramatic. it mean Maybe if he hover in the air, you would have gotten him. Yeah.
00:23:38
Speaker
I yeah
00:23:42
Speaker
need that blood squirt. It's crazy.
00:23:50
Speaker
You just have David Bowie from Labyrinth in here. Dude, his hair is crazy.
00:24:00
Speaker
yeah normal He had normal hair, and then he decided to go, like, emo. Like...
00:24:07
Speaker
He just needs one of those like silver balls to move around on his hands. He kind of looks like just these fishbas yeah you know but yeah kind looks like the lead singer from like Tokyo Hotel.
00:24:18
Speaker
right like
00:24:31
Speaker
it's probably just love to like introduceice like brand new characters like every like like so many
00:24:39
Speaker
I don't mind a movie like that. It doesn't like always focus in on the same five people who get away with things. It's like, here's a whole new thing, and then gets resolved, and then here's a whole new problem. And then it's like, maybe it comes back, maybe it won't.
00:25:08
Speaker
Russell, this wasn't part of the script.
00:25:13
Speaker
This is all from, like, Russell Crowe's personal collection. I brought my own balls. My own beads.
00:25:26
Speaker
brought my own anal beads. Yeah, my own spectacles.

Russell Crowe's Lifestyle Indulgence

00:25:33
Speaker
I'm coming. I just have to finger this Asian lady.
00:25:50
Speaker
Why did you even put the glasses on? Yeah.
00:26:11
Speaker
so you So you're telling me Lucy Liu's going to touch my balls? I don't even want to get paid for this movie. Let me in. yeah
00:26:26
Speaker
This is a weird thing. The Riz was like, yeah, this and then this happens, and then that happens. Yeah.
00:26:37
Speaker
It's weird that the Riz is giving Russell Crowe all this. like You think you'd give this to yourself like, oh yeah, I'll you know um i'll be the one in the room. like I'll be like the greatest pimp lover of all time. Yeah.
00:26:50
Speaker
He needs his reading glasses for this. I these scenes just go on for way too long. it're just like Like I said, it's it's Frank Reynolds. It's all it is.
00:27:02
Speaker
Did Russell Crowe finance this movie?
00:27:09
Speaker
This is literally like the start of like a POV porn video where they're talking the camera.
00:27:26
Speaker
Again, this would make an awesome Universal Studios Hollywood Horror Nights. doesqua Yeah. of the rooms yeah yeah So the Horror Night is Russell Crowe trying to sleep with you.
00:27:40
Speaker
while soaking wet for some reason it's like you wanna play some war games no the
00:27:58
Speaker
the hell is happening here you know youre you don't ever go to like a wolf party
00:28:16
Speaker
You talking to me or are you just talking to I'm
00:28:23
Speaker
kind of like really enjoying this mutton.
00:28:49
Speaker
did Silver Lion become evil, like, overnight? Right? Like,
00:29:25
Speaker
and Back to Russell Crowe fucking more women, I guess. and What is this? They're doing opium.
00:29:35
Speaker
Yeah, you shouldn't like do drugs and be in a hot tub. like A lot of people have died in that combo.
00:29:49
Speaker
Okay, what the hell was that scene about? Okay.
00:30:20
Speaker
I always forget Rizzo talks like a third grader. Email Rufus.
00:30:29
Speaker
I mean, he's period accurate, right? Yeah, it makes sense.
00:30:40
Speaker
Wow. no No one-liner at that? Yeah.
00:30:45
Speaker
Also, he's the tallest guy in this town, right? Him and Russell Crowe, yeah. Batista for some reason. Oh, and and then here comes Batista. I mean, it would be honestly funny if they just like did that scene where they were walking together and he just never came back in the movie.
00:31:03
Speaker
And he just leaves. In this movie? think it's It's too hard for me to act and direct it. I'm just going leave now. Alright, Batista's giving out piggyback rides.
00:31:19
Speaker
He just introduced the kids off.
00:31:25
Speaker
He introduces like a fun character. They didn't even give like a, like a, what the hell that was. I don't read Chinese. my first It's probably just him being like, what is that sign? I don't know.
00:32:04
Speaker
I also love that Batista still has modern day tattoos on him.
00:32:10
Speaker
It's tribal, man.
00:32:42
Speaker
cool, but that glass was, like, really expensive. Yeah. That was a decorative glass. Yeah. Also, it wasn't, like, the biggest, like, cup. Like, it wasn't, like, a iron It was like a thimble.
00:32:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:03
Speaker
For a dude that has a pretty strict deadline, he really is just sitting around doing nothing.
00:33:14
Speaker
Oh, the Russell Crowe orgy's over. For now.
00:33:45
Speaker
Like, what is the point of this character? du Like, really? He literally is just just having his way with a bunch of hot Chinese women. But he had, like, a gynecological tool, right? Like, he had basically, like, a clasp that opens up the whole orifices.
00:34:03
Speaker
Why is that in his room? It's from the Russell Crowe collection. the Do you think um that was on, like, the display where he had like auction his stuff from his divorce?
00:34:13
Speaker
Oh, hope yeah. Yeah. You've seen that video, right, guys? but Yeah, with like the... What was it like last week's night? Like a codpiece? okay Fighting around the world.
00:35:11
Speaker
Before I move to your, like, blacksmith hovel. Leave all this, like, luxury. Yeah. Can I just sleep one more night with the silk sheets? Yeah. For the love of God.
00:35:22
Speaker
Before like, go to your bed bed of, like, raw straw hay.
00:35:36
Speaker
who
00:35:40
Speaker
um madam
00:35:45
Speaker
I'm telling you, dude, this is an autistic black dude's dream right here. He's just like laying in bed with a hot Asian woman as a blacksmith in in feudal China.
00:35:58
Speaker
And he's just telling her facts about the world. And she's like, oh, that's so sexy. Yeah. You know sharks have like four sets of teeth. She's like, oh, really?
00:36:10
Speaker
It's a little bit of an autistic fact where it's like, okay. You're like, what? What the hell does she care about the the circumference of the earth? I mean, she's on opium, so it it it makes sense why they're together.
00:36:27
Speaker
Come on out. Come out. Get murdered. Come on. yeah it ha Bring her weapons.
00:36:40
Speaker
No! He's got Road Housed. Yeah. He did it with like his index finger, too.
00:36:58
Speaker
I mean, keep trying the same thing, guys.
00:37:07
Speaker
Jesus Christ. He's just like throwing people to death.
00:37:24
Speaker
It's so much rice wine wasted.
00:37:38
Speaker
Come on X. You got the Elder Scrolls music going on too.
00:38:00
Speaker
Full brass.
00:38:13
Speaker
But he said to show off the tats.
00:38:16
Speaker
Well, they don't want to... They don't want to animate them the whole time. costs money. Yeah, they only had like $15 million. It was like half the budget.
00:38:33
Speaker
Also, I think they filmed in China. You did, man.
00:38:46
Speaker
I do like how the guy on the floor died first before Batista got hit. What?
00:39:02
Speaker
what
00:39:32
Speaker
Wait, the the gate was like Jungle Village, though? Yeah. Yeah,
00:39:54
Speaker
I mean, like, and now the Gemini's like, what? Another?
00:40:16
Speaker
Oh, man, that does sound good.
00:40:22
Speaker
But you guys are a little late, so it is a little cold. yeah This is before, like, heating lamps and microwaves, so... I feel like the six-hour cooked meal we had.
00:40:35
Speaker
You have to send it to our blacksmith to heat it up.
00:40:47
Speaker
it's this Is it just Chris and his family going on to the cruise? It kind of was, man. Oh my god. Again, was this Russell Crowe unhinged?
00:41:02
Speaker
It has nothing to with the plot. He's going full Sean Connery from like, ah was he only lived twice? Yeah.
00:41:12
Speaker
I mean, he really did be reiki, dude. He really did be reiki, dude. That's great. It has nothing to do with the plot. It's not like it's vital for him to look Asian. You know, like... I'm telling you, dude. he He did this movie for free, dude.
00:41:27
Speaker
he does Yeah, like, Rizzo was just like, Russell, you can just do whatever you want. Like, just whatever see whatever shoot your scene, just do whatever you want. Hey, man, you want an Asian face for, like, a scene? Go for it. You want to yellow face it? Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:44
Speaker
You want to kiss every third extra we have in the background? Go for it.
00:42:11
Speaker
Damn, dude. I can really go for some Chinese spare ribs.
00:42:50
Speaker
Oh, get it? He's got like puns in this business deal. yeah
00:43:05
Speaker
Damn, do the balls in this chair.
00:43:15
Speaker
What'd you say about my sister or whatever? um i don't know I think they're husband and wife. They're Gemini twins. Yeah.
00:43:36
Speaker
Twin powers, combine!
00:43:44
Speaker
me
00:43:48
Speaker
Again, was the Riz just like, this would be so cool. Yeah.
00:44:26
Speaker
The choreography in this is just not... I don't know what's going on with it. It is pretty frantic.

Gemini Twins Battle Critique

00:44:50
Speaker
Are the Gemini twins going to form that Voltron again? It didn't even do much. It's like... She's like a handstand.
00:45:13
Speaker
Sword power!
00:45:22
Speaker
Alright. Swords come back? you Nope.
00:45:27
Speaker
That's like a one-time thing.
00:45:30
Speaker
you just The power of a coochie gun or whatever. Did this come out before Gritehouse? I think, yeah. No, after.
00:45:41
Speaker
This came out after. This 2012. Oh, jeez.
00:45:45
Speaker
oh gee
00:45:51
Speaker
No.
00:45:55
Speaker
Jesus. um The most effective fighter in the world.
00:46:03
Speaker
Well, he didn't die, did Yeah. He got poisoned, too? I thought she only got hit, I guess. Because they're the peace sign, I guess, because they're twins. He and he and he.
00:46:19
Speaker
By the way, those characters that we barely remember are now gone. but So let's just choose five more characters. Yeah.
00:46:33
Speaker
Like I said, currently 45 minutes into the movie and still no Iron Fist. Still no man with Iron Fist. Yeah. It's like... but We didn't even begin to do the story where he gets his Iron Fist yet.
00:46:49
Speaker
but it's really weird because it's like is the movie about x-blade like is the movie the man with the x-blades like yeah the man with the porcupine suit
00:47:03
Speaker
and rosa girl's like undercover now i know dude i'm too famous i gotta disguise myself i need to look like the locals
00:47:18
Speaker
That man's not Chinese. He's a Chinese Muslim. But like, him being Chinese made no difference for this. Yeah.
00:47:40
Speaker
Did he just say he was going to cook a person? Yeah.
00:48:02
Speaker
We don't talk about the duck here.
00:48:17
Speaker
Well, I am the only white person that you've ever seen.
00:48:26
Speaker
That's not animal. Very expensive dish.
00:48:33
Speaker
he going kiss her too? Russell Crowe. He's like i's like a crime scene investigator now. Jesus, he's a detective.
00:48:45
Speaker
I don't think Mercury kills somebody that fast. so I hate to be... It's more like a cancer thing. don't...
00:48:54
Speaker
I mean, as if like it it flew to you with a dart. I guess like if it's coated mercury and that just like transports the poison, but I don't know what else is in there.
00:49:10
Speaker
Sir, it takes three days to prepare.
00:49:24
Speaker
Oh, jeez.
00:49:37
Speaker
it It seems like a win. It's fine. This play sucks.
00:49:45
Speaker
I mean, they have a very steady flow of attractive Asian women. That's their main industry. yeah and blacksmithing yeah they're the best blacksmith in the and the best Asian women the the the prettiest ladies in all the land over there the way he's talking is so crazy
00:50:38
Speaker
I mean, do you got got a blueprint, a suit of knives? What are even mean by that?
00:50:48
Speaker
He just comes back like, who which just like chain mail made out of knives. He's like this isn't what I meant, man.
00:51:00
Speaker
Why is he in disguise?
00:51:05
Speaker
He still sticks out like a Thor's. Yeah, no one, it's like the only thing that makes him Chinese is his eyes. Like, not his build, not his beard, not the fact that Not even his eyes, just his eyebrows that are racially painted on his face.
00:51:40
Speaker
Alright.
00:51:43
Speaker
Ugly ass room.
00:51:56
Speaker
That knife looks so ridiculous. It's like one of those decorative knives that you actually use it it would snap. Probably, yeah.
00:52:14
Speaker
ah no
00:52:35
Speaker
just no motion don't talk Just don't talk about my woman like that, please.
00:52:52
Speaker
Wait. This town has like 20 buildings in it. You can't just do go door to door.
00:53:06
Speaker
Why do you call yourself a lion, dude? we
00:53:12
Speaker
Listen, the Riz is not really known for his dialogue.

Script Challenges and Confusions

00:53:18
Speaker
This this is is two years of the Riz and Eli Roth crafting this thing down.
00:53:26
Speaker
so can I, like, like rap my lyrics? He's just talking. He's just talking.
00:53:35
Speaker
you guys seen uh uh what's that samurai cartoon that was like afro samurai afro samurai like like that they could have just done like an afro samurai version of this yeah i mean um that series is amazing but the video game they made for itself i heard that was terrible
00:54:28
Speaker
It's like, are you calling me blackie because I'm a blacksmith or because I'm black? I don't yeah don't know what of anger to be ah
00:55:03
Speaker
I do like Brian Mann is like, he's like he's in he enjoys his role. He looks like he's having fun.
00:55:11
Speaker
it is Even his reaction is just terrible. I mean,
00:55:23
Speaker
i mean it's not a man who just got his arm cut off. Yes.
00:55:42
Speaker
It's Chinese New Year. Woo!
00:56:00
Speaker
Also, seems like the town's like orphan kids or whatever are are just like the catalyst of a lot of things.
00:56:25
Speaker
This is where Russell Crowe becomes Dr. Mr. Hyde.
00:56:33
Speaker
The Dark Universe begins.
00:56:50
Speaker
Jack the Ripper.
00:56:55
Speaker
It's like, way to be humble, but...
00:57:02
Speaker
You mean they weren't already quarter-assed? I know. Flaming hot sword. Flaming swords.
00:57:09
Speaker
And you haven't already quarter-assed? It's been like eight hours. You would have bled out already.
00:57:17
Speaker
He wants you to wake up so you'd be hurt more.
00:57:46
Speaker
think they would take the cloth off first. I'm just going to burn the cloth. through They put some gunpowder on the bandage? Give you some like massive birds along with your severed arms.
00:58:07
Speaker
Yeah, that seems like medicine. Yeah.
00:58:18
Speaker
What is that dude even doing?

RZA's Character Backstory

00:58:21
Speaker
He's I'm just going to put cocaine into this thing.
00:58:52
Speaker
Well, I was actually, I started here as an English teacher. fell in with the commute and the people.
00:59:01
Speaker
We'll say it was on tour. I decided to stay. Yeah. And now I just run a popular travel YouTube channel.
00:59:16
Speaker
imagine if this is like we like a weird twist? where it was actually like That was a weird thing to end on for that. He's talking about his mom sleeping with someone. I mean, this is the trouble of the Riz.
00:59:45
Speaker
Wait. right
01:00:07
Speaker
Does he still literally have a chain on his neck? I be more dramatic about this slavery
01:00:19
Speaker
eat dust we'll take I got the Bible, I got a blacksmith book. I'm all set.
01:00:30
Speaker
Yeah, like, no matter where he goes, it always gets hassed by, like, blacksmithing. Yeah. What is this?
01:00:49
Speaker
jealous.
01:00:58
Speaker
It's my one-way ticket to China from Alabama i guess in the 1800s. Like, what? It's going to take me like seven years to get there, but I'll get there.
01:01:22
Speaker
Oh, no.
01:01:25
Speaker
million dollar baby it's like a wacky accident is the reason he's like ah like ah on the run
01:01:56
Speaker
This is another movie. Another movie is playing out right now. This feels like Tarantino stepped in was like guest directing. I'll direct the flashback scene. And this is like, yeah, this is a Tarantino scene and this is why he's like, I'll just make Django after this.
01:02:11
Speaker
Let me just remind you guys, we're an hour into this movie with 45 minutes left. He still does not have these iron fists. Yeah.
01:02:24
Speaker
we We're just getting his origin story. Also, this movie did like really clever marketing where like you didn't find out who had the Iron Fist for a long time.
01:02:35
Speaker
I think the original poster like didn't even have like the Iron Fist feature. It was bunch of characters and on the cover.
01:02:45
Speaker
He's out of it. He got shipwrecked.
01:02:52
Speaker
So, like, was China like an accident for him? Yeah.
01:02:59
Speaker
Where? Where at port did he leave out of in, like, Alabama? i don't know.
01:03:23
Speaker
I got shit wrecked I passed out next thing I knew a blacksmith in China to yeah you know what's weird like definitely the Riz like knew about the samurai story of Yasuke and then he's like well I'll do my own like Chinese version in China yeah
01:04:20
Speaker
Gordon, uh, Gordon Liu. What is the point of this? I mean, this is cool to have Gordon Liu in it. I think that they just wanted to have the, like, yeah the Shaolin, the, what was it? The 38th champion Shaolin. He's just like, dude.
01:04:35
Speaker
He's just like, escaped slavery and became a free man just to become a slave in China. That's what the story I mean, we're all slaves to some degree. You're never really free.
01:04:50
Speaker
But I mean, at least this time around, like... They're polite to him? Maybe.
01:05:11
Speaker
it is weird that the origin story is the, like, middle act of this movie. So they accept... So they accepted him in, but they he's still like wearing patch clothes for some reason. They didn't give him any clothes. They're feeding him and letting him live there, but he can't have clothes.
01:05:33
Speaker
Yeah, you gotta earn them.
01:05:42
Speaker
Does not speak.
01:05:50
Speaker
Wait, is that like an 80s song? Like, heart to heart? Wait, I was just thinking that, too.
01:06:04
Speaker
Oh man, are we gonna get an acapella of like, a Wu-Tang song? I'm hearing Wu-Tang, I'm getting enlightened.
01:06:14
Speaker
super finish
01:06:18
Speaker
He's just like, he's just like pan over to like this ancient statue with just like a mixer on it or some shit. Ancient Chinese mixing. Mm-hmm.
01:06:44
Speaker
like if you were trying to remake this movie and to have that stereotypical like music beats, this is where you have the acapella of Wu-Tang's seventh chamber. It would be like just like in the background. Jesus.
01:07:03
Speaker
oh That's so crazy. Why'd you have to do it like roll? You've got to trim the layer off. Oh, you're bleeding. You've messed up already. He's going like Bill Duke and Predators, like, drive-chaving.
01:07:19
Speaker
Oh, Jesus. God damn, like, his head's wrapped in bandages.
01:07:33
Speaker
What is going- Uh-oh. They're back to Russell Crowe. I'm like, okay. There's a no, like, clear transition. Let's go, just to get back to health. Yeah.
01:07:46
Speaker
He just like whispers in his ear, I made that. can also give you a great orgasm, too.
01:07:53
Speaker
I'll bring up my toys if you want. yeah He brings back those anal beads.
01:08:03
Speaker
All right, flashback, flash forward. yeah
01:08:16
Speaker
It's pee. The gold nectar is pee.
01:08:33
Speaker
It is funny just think thinking about like him doing this movie and not understanding any Chinese whatsoever. And it's just like, me like, hi. Hi. ae is Well, he, yeah, I mean, real life, probably. But story context, he he figured it out. He was illiterate in America, but somehow he figured out Chinese.
01:08:55
Speaker
Yeah.
01:09:08
Speaker
So you've given up on the whole knife suit thing, i guess? Yeah. X-Blade can go fuck himself. X-Blade's still, like, waiting.
01:09:21
Speaker
yeah We gotta make Cassidy the greatest weapon ever known. Russell Crowe's fists. ah i I forgot that. Technically, the fists are based off of Russell Crowe. Yeah.
01:09:37
Speaker
It's the thing from... It's the Quentin Tarantino callback. Yeah. there
01:10:02
Speaker
Batista? Yeah.
01:10:12
Speaker
What?
01:10:21
Speaker
I don't even know what I was looking at there. What was the dude doing? What?
01:10:39
Speaker
I'm not really worried infection or anything. Why did you have to do it when it's hot?
01:10:46
Speaker
don't want me.
01:10:51
Speaker
Whoa, that's not good.
01:10:55
Speaker
Cracking of the Liberty Bell, that's how it was great.
01:11:02
Speaker
That was a cool-ass travel tattoo. Yeah.
01:11:10
Speaker
Finally, the Iron Fist. Now we're in 10 minutes. Now we're at the plot. we got them iron face and we're at the plot
01:11:47
Speaker
Oh, where the hell are you going to get another anvil in the middle of fucking rural China?
01:11:55
Speaker
anything, they just forge another one.
01:12:09
Speaker
been like a week, right? Like they just never went for him? I don't know. No one knows. It could be 14 years in the future.
01:12:19
Speaker
I don't know. one's thought like, hey, the blacksmith was like with Lady Silk. but Let's go check Lady Silk's room and see if that guy the guy's in X-Blade's in there. yeah
01:12:30
Speaker
But you only really know about X-Blade if he's wearing his X-Blade suit. If you're just in a robe, like yeah he just looks like commoner.
01:12:42
Speaker
Hey, everyone notice that the anvil is back together? Yeah. reforced with my iron fist.
01:13:08
Speaker
Didn't you use that to kill somebody? to like
01:14:13
Speaker
Like said, there's only like 20 buildings. There's not a-
01:15:00
Speaker
it just so Where is this at in their building? You just happen to have an underground cave. it's like an Indiana Jones, like, doom set over here.
01:15:47
Speaker
Like, where's all their gold at currently? It's like laggings and shit. it just like in their wagons and shit? Like, what the fuck?
01:16:55
Speaker
You could have told them that before.
01:17:01
Speaker
Oh no, we're all in a death trap, everyone. Are you going to point out the traps, or are they just going to have to like guess where they are? like It'll be fun surprise. Yeah.
01:17:19
Speaker
Oh
01:17:37
Speaker
We still don't know who the hell that dude is. just like It's like Corey Feltman. Isn't it Daniel Wu? Yeah, but you're spoiling it for some reason. I don't know why they don't reveal that it's him. Like, like now they do.
01:17:52
Speaker
With, like, wait is this is crazy white hair. Because they didn't want to you to get more confused that there's elves in this
01:18:22
Speaker
I mean, maybe I'll grow my eyebrows out like that. i don't know how you grow eyebrows. Why is that out of style, man? It's ridiculous. Like, you have to put, like, beard oil in your eyebrows. Yeah.
01:19:00
Speaker
from the province of China that sounds constipated all the time.
01:19:10
Speaker
There's like eight hours of footage just of just like Asian women bathing. That's all they do there. they They just get bathed all day and then there's like three dudes that live in the town.
01:19:23
Speaker
Yeah.
01:19:34
Speaker
What do you think you're talking about? don't background talking.
01:19:41
Speaker
Anyway, remember this scene from the beginning of the movie?
01:19:48
Speaker
Like, Elia Ross just like, do we we need this much footage of just like, Asian women bathing? He's like, yes! Yes, we do! It's important to the plot! It's fell to the story!
01:20:16
Speaker
oh Oh no. So I talked.
01:21:01
Speaker
talking about a real sweet and sour soup, if you know what I mean.
01:21:12
Speaker
It is a little weird that it's like we're nearing the end of the movie and here comes the like other like B plot of women. Everyone's plans are just just starting to like come into focus.
01:21:27
Speaker
It's like what her motivation is is happening now.
01:21:49
Speaker
Wait, we're a whorehouse. We're supposed to be on our knees? Like what? really Like, I'm confused with the medical. Can you, what?
01:22:18
Speaker
like one dude down there. You guys don't hear those war drums off in a distance? Or is that just me?
01:22:26
Speaker
This building doesn't have like surround sound. It's just all made out like creaky wood. You would hear like horses and stuff like that. It sounds like looking at Gatling gun.

Iron Fists in Action

01:23:08
Speaker
Oh, man. Finally, to see the Iron Fist in action. Yeah. Does that explain to you to have a new suit?
01:23:24
Speaker
It's like, well we didn't have time to make you new suit, guys. I'm sorry. I made your armor out of wood.
01:23:32
Speaker
Like, the the blacksmith had time to, like, build a whole new, like, trench coat for his arms, but he couldn't build X-Blade, like, a weapon.
01:23:47
Speaker
What is this saying?
01:24:02
Speaker
You know, for like a brothel, it's like really clean. and look like This looks like a ah bed and breakfast. Like a weird Chinese themed bed and breakfast. but Yeah, the themed rooms and everything.
01:24:13
Speaker
yeah I mean, there's just an excessive amount of just like sex scenes in this movie for no reason.
01:24:23
Speaker
Oh, now we kill them.
01:24:36
Speaker
snakes. Vampires now. Is it secretly a vampire movie?
01:24:44
Speaker
For the amount of blood that's shed in this, is you would think that ah it wouldn't be as clean.
01:24:56
Speaker
and they And they have just like they have like powers now. They're all secretly assassinated. Dressed in black. dressed in black They're black widows.
01:25:49
Speaker
I guess he does have a new suit. oh But it looks like his old suit.
01:26:05
Speaker
Sequel Iron Legs. The woman with the iron legs.
01:26:19
Speaker
let's like It sounds like like... You guys hear that too, right? Is that a weird sound? ah
01:26:34
Speaker
Jesus, dude.
01:26:38
Speaker
mean We waited for this. There was a whole like interlude before we got more action again.
01:27:14
Speaker
Yeah, man. They're just playing, like, music from Dynasty Warriors.
01:27:27
Speaker
How does the little girl know the crotch key? she She was hiding table. oh okay.
01:27:36
Speaker
Get out here!
01:27:57
Speaker
Can explain slow down time? i don't even know what's going on now. It doesn't even make any sense.
01:28:19
Speaker
Get it? He's a cheater. Yeah.
01:28:29
Speaker
This does become like a Dynasty Warrior level. I'm going rack up that 100 kills.
01:28:46
Speaker
Dude, only your fists are iron, brother. The rest of you is still completely killable.
01:28:58
Speaker
Jeez.
01:29:13
Speaker
Oh, man. Here we go, finally. Here we
01:29:32
Speaker
dude. He just Just...
01:29:37
Speaker
I mean, to be fair, this is still a better Iron Fist thing than the Marvel's Iron Fist movie. Yeah, that's fair......................
01:30:24
Speaker
Alright.
01:30:27
Speaker
Power fantasy. Okay.
01:30:34
Speaker
So, alright. His ultimate weapon was punching people. Yeah. I don't know if it's worth the build-up. They're just like, yeah, boxing gloves. They're like metal boxing gloves, basically.
01:30:47
Speaker
okay what was the... He just cut his cape in half. It's to show you that he's... sharp, or he's so close on him. don't know, it's like the first time they're like meeting, too.
01:30:59
Speaker
Yeah.
01:31:09
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like they need need like something extra like with them, like spikes or they can fly off and like and but come back or something. Or he could do like a bang them together for like a charge.
01:31:22
Speaker
Yeah, mm-hmm.
01:31:29
Speaker
It's literally just like two clubs on his arms.
01:31:40
Speaker
Again, this is surprising because I think the Riz has never been in a martial arts movie before. So this was his own.
01:32:13
Speaker
Teamwork makes a dream work. yeah
01:32:19
Speaker
No, the little child.
01:32:24
Speaker
Oh my God.
01:32:28
Speaker
oh
01:32:39
Speaker
right She was a bad person, right? i don't I don't understand anymore. who's ah well She's keeping all these women slaves. well Warriors, and then also she tried to save the girls.
01:32:51
Speaker
That was like her last act. them Make them all free up free you from men. But not free under her. Yeah.
01:33:17
Speaker
How many capes does this man have?
01:33:31
Speaker
Welcome to the Bruce Lee part. Oh boy.
01:33:40
Speaker
Oh God. ah god
01:33:54
Speaker
jesus He just punched his head off. That's so funny.
01:34:08
Speaker
Take a step.
01:34:44
Speaker
That's right. Iron is better than brass. Yeah.
01:34:50
Speaker
He's doing some little Ip Man fighting.
01:34:59
Speaker
Also, none of these guys kick. Nope. Well, because he has iron fists, Chris. Yeah. Not iron legs.
01:35:10
Speaker
He just has normal human body. Iron fists.
01:35:18
Speaker
yeah I kind of want to see Batista do more like, like tiger claw and movies. Mm hmm.
01:35:52
Speaker
How elaborate is this underground like temple? It's got a lot of traps, remember that. Remember that that foreshadowing, it has a lot of traps. There's tons of tunnels, it's like a mirror room, this this like water room. Like an aquifer, like it has a whole system for running water.
01:36:26
Speaker
How is his hair still dry? Ancient Chinese. Look how dry his hair is. That's crazy. it's like even yeah It's even more like and flowing than was before. Even drier than it was before.
01:36:39
Speaker
I think his whole outfit is dry.
01:37:32
Speaker
There's lot of knife-themed names here.
01:38:06
Speaker
Dude, just let go of the pickle already, dude. You'll get your hand out of the jar. This is like Holmberg getting his arms stuck in the vending machine. It's like, are you just holding out to the chain?
01:38:24
Speaker
this dumb ass thing.
01:38:43
Speaker
No, so they're brothers. Cool. Thanks for this. okay it But he was just some dude that worked for Yeah, I didn't know they brothers. I thought they were just like in the same clan. There we go.
01:39:22
Speaker
This really has to work on like how to ask people questions without just killing them before they have a chance to answer. It's that other dude just stabbed through the throat after he asked him a question. Was the gold all like cups?
01:39:38
Speaker
No, they're bars. They're bars again. That's like feudal Chinese money look like that. Because they didn't figure out how to make rectangles.
01:39:48
Speaker
So they made...
01:39:51
Speaker
They made that little, like, dish.
01:39:57
Speaker
Oh, he's gonna three ninjas him.
01:40:05
Speaker
Attack the pressure points. Yeah. no but If you remember that weird thing where it's like the chi factory, you gotta hit these certain spots.
01:40:19
Speaker
something
01:40:23
Speaker
Oh, there it is
01:40:33
Speaker
is. Remember this? Remember this like an hour ago? Remember the movie, guys? ah
01:40:53
Speaker
should have done that way before this right now. Oh yeah, that should have been a very helpful like like power to have. That would have been a crowd clearing move.
01:41:05
Speaker
This was hittland a true Dynasty Warriors thing. That would be a Musou special. Mm-hmm.
01:41:56
Speaker
Just take Russell Crowe as well. Alright. We believe you.
01:42:02
Speaker
he so he's He's a large white man. We'll believe him. shit
01:42:10
Speaker
It's Chinese New Year again.
01:42:15
Speaker
i also lost a brother. Yeah.
01:42:20
Speaker
Anyway, I'm going back to my wife that I promised I wouldn't leave her. Mm-hmm.
01:42:38
Speaker
It's the first time they've said his name in the entire thing to Thaddeus.
01:42:44
Speaker
Well, I'll have to go join Napoleon. Yeah.
01:43:00
Speaker
I don't say that. Yeah, that was dad. You know that thing, Chris?
01:43:13
Speaker
No, he's just going around breaking tables.
01:43:22
Speaker
Anyway, let's recap the whole movie. Yeah. Jackknife.
01:43:30
Speaker
and lost super lion
01:43:43
Speaker
the x-plane i mean the names are really the dumbest part of this movie bronze breast body bronze lion
01:43:59
Speaker
This guy. This guy. cha Chan. Cool. Okay, Chan. The Abbot.
01:44:11
Speaker
Gold Lion.
01:44:18
Speaker
I wonder what MC Jin is up to.
01:44:23
Speaker
Gemini Male. They don't even have names. Gemini Female.
01:44:31
Speaker
yeah
01:44:37
Speaker
Iron Lion from Zion.
01:44:44
Speaker
Copper. There's a lot of different bla metal lions here.
01:44:55
Speaker
is Chi-Chi. She was in this mood for like five minutes. Poison dagger. Man with the Iron Fist.
01:45:05
Speaker
It is kind of crazy that Daniel Wu was like this big reveal. like What was he in before this? don't know. He was in a lot of like Chinese movies.
01:45:22
Speaker
Dude, this song sucks. I'm the man with the iron fist.
01:45:37
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
01:45:41
Speaker
Black Widow's Plantation. Dude, I still can't believe they got Pam Greer to play his mom. They just have like, ever they have like all these huge name actors in this freaking movie and it's still just, it's completely terrible.
01:45:57
Speaker
This was a passion project.
01:46:01
Speaker
He's back with his wife, I guess was this.
01:46:11
Speaker
I do like these little like nods that they have at like older kung fu movies in this though. Yeah, like that's kind of what like is the driving force to like keep watching this.
01:46:25
Speaker
Oh no. He's pregnant.
01:46:31
Speaker
Is this another movie? What's going on in this part? It's for two, man. It's over. Come on.
01:46:39
Speaker
here's a second mo There is a second there's a second one. I don't know if it has anything to do with it. No. Because no one like beish store for the first movie comes back. Except for Risa.
01:46:56
Speaker
Oh my god. well what What the hell? you What is going on right now, dude?
01:47:04
Speaker
They just didn't animate that part. What the fuck is going on here? Is that just the version we have or is that like actually in the movie? I don't know, man. it was like the Wolverine like origins leak one of like that leaked the work for it.
01:47:21
Speaker
They're introducing the Bird Clan.
01:47:24
Speaker
No, they introduced the Bird Clan in beginning of the movie. Yeah, I know. yeah that one white One guy flew down. was the same shot again.
01:47:41
Speaker
too I mean, what is going on? Why is this still going? This movie just won't die, dude. This might be the extended edition. I don't know.
01:47:58
Speaker
two
01:48:04
Speaker
How long was he gone? don't know.
01:48:22
Speaker
let took focus him do giant nice yeah What What? What fuck is this? This flying monkey-ass tribe, dude. This is crazy.
01:48:40
Speaker
you This movie's still not over, dude. The credits are rolling. Why is there more shit? but That was like a Tim and Eric effect.

Visual Effects Discussion

01:49:04
Speaker
of Marvel and Avengers. Yeah, he'll return in a ah movie that has nothing to do with anything we just watched. like None of that after credits, during credits scene has aid to do with the next movie.
01:49:19
Speaker
yeah That was crazy. That was wild. and and then and like There's like an editing mistake in there. Dude, that was... I didn't even know... Like, was that supposed to happen? I don't understand. Yeah, I mean, there there's it was literally it was unfinished animations. I don't know... Yeah.
01:49:40
Speaker
was like... to Double check it or anything. It was like, oh yeah, all those gray, like, non-textured CG.
01:49:50
Speaker
Chris Chris on, like, the the secret work prints. Apparently... the leaked edition, That's crazy.
01:50:01
Speaker
Alright. What are your thoughts? what's i mean what was Was there like a director's cut or something? There is an extended edition on Amazon Prime. I don't know if this is it. But right. I'm slowly forgetting the beginning parts of the movie because it's just like so dense of what happened in the middle.
01:50:21
Speaker
So you're not remembering any of the... you so So actually, what's really happening is your mind is blocking out all of the first half of the movie because it was very, very traumatic to see Russell Crowe fuck a bunch of days.

Memorable Scenes in the Whorehouse

01:50:35
Speaker
That's like the only part I remember of the first half. You could basically start the movie with Russell Crowe in the whorehouse and then just go from there and it just makes sense still.
01:50:46
Speaker
yeah ah You follow X-Blade a lot, where you think he's going to be the hero, and then you find out he's not. It's actually the Riz. Yeah.
01:50:57
Speaker
The man with the iron fist.
01:51:01
Speaker
The man with the iron fist for 20 minutes. Yeah. So you mean to tell me this guy who, um the first night, he really like wields his iron fist, figures out everything about the iron fist?
01:51:14
Speaker
No training. I mean, Chris, were you even paying attention to the movie? He was trained by Shaolin monks. True. Come on. But like, the Iron Pisting. Don't you remember? After he escaped slavery and got shipwrecked.
01:51:27
Speaker
Oh my God. How is that not the beginning of the movie? Start with that part. Don't do it. There's so many origin stories and there's so many like dropping points that just make sense. but when you do like three origin stories in the same movie, it it just gets like a lot.
01:51:47
Speaker
we We need like Russell Crowe's origin story of like how why he becomes obsessed with like knife knife guns and like cowboy culture. And for a man that's literally named like Jack Blade or something like that.
01:51:59
Speaker
Jack Knife. He literally only has one knife on him. But spins around and has gun in it. Yeah.
01:52:10
Speaker
All right.

Script Coherence Issues

01:52:11
Speaker
It's just as wacky as I remembered it. um I know, Zach, this is like your second watching of it. Yep. And Adam, you like recently saw this. oh Yeah, man. And it's still ridiculous. It doesn't get any less ridiculous. Mm-hmm.
01:52:29
Speaker
i mean Again, it's got a strength where if you have you have to see like all the or or be aware of the Shaolin movie. All the references. Yeah. the Star Brothers, like Golden Harvest, like Kill Bill. like everything everything like Basically, you need to know what Quentin Tarantino was like doing with Kill Bill.
01:52:47
Speaker
Yeah, can I help you if you didn't? like If you just went right into this, you're like, what is this movie? But also, like, Crushing Tiger, you need like like you need to like know all the Wusha stuff. Yeah.
01:52:59
Speaker
It's pretty much just like a guy that has been watching Kung Fu movies his entire life, looked up like a YouTube video about like how to film John Woo scenes.
01:53:11
Speaker
And then he just made this movie. That's what it feels like to me. Cause the script really, I mean, it was terrible. It was all over the place. it did Like the characters just didn't make any sense.
01:53:22
Speaker
They don't. And they're all just like basic names like, oh, this, you know, you what are we going to call his girlfriend who's like always in this nice, fancy room, this silk bedroom? Let's just call her Lady Silk.
01:53:41
Speaker
you didn't You didn't feel the two years of work that Eli Roth and Therissa worked on for the scripts? It does not feel like two years worth of writing.
01:53:55
Speaker
and but and And I think there like the Riz went off like went ah on his own for the second one. they' after like i'm Yeah. ah i I'm done. got to direct whatever movie directing in 20 minutes. No, he's like, oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm ah i'm like a millionaire from Wu-Tang shit. Let me just I'll just film I'll just make it myself.
01:54:18
Speaker
but also we so and so so I'm sorry.

Notable Cast Highlights

01:54:21
Speaker
But it's still so crazy that there's like Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu, like yeah all these big names. Batista before he was big but like still like Pam Greer is so fucking crazy to get Pam Greer as your mother. He's a slave. Oh Jesus.
01:54:39
Speaker
And then not get like anyone of the same caliber for the second one. No. It kind of blew the budget all on this. Yeah. Well the yeah the second one it has Kari Hiroyuki Tagawa. That's like the only like name.
01:54:54
Speaker
It's so crazy, man. This movie is something else.
01:55:00
Speaker
But, know, it's wacky. It makes a great group commentary.

Wacky Elements for Group Commentary

01:55:04
Speaker
ah feel like we're always waiting for the next wacky thing that happens, so we've got that going on for it. The next new character to show up with us some crazy gimmick.
01:55:13
Speaker
Yeah.
01:55:17
Speaker
Is the second one he just picks another one of the hookers that it lives in that place. She's going to be my wife now. I'm going to call you Lady Silk. You're my new Lady Silk.
01:55:29
Speaker
You're Lady Egyptian Cotton. You're like, what? What? right

Conclusion and Audience Farewell

01:55:43
Speaker
All right. Yes, so I think that will probably do it for this this commentary. was there anything you wanted to mention or plug or anything, Adam, before we head out? i I'm good. Okay. Go watch Iron Man with Iron Fist 2.
01:55:56
Speaker
Yeah. Guys, you need to buy it on HD DVD. Yes. You'll watch it immediately. it probably still came out on Laserdisc for some reason, even though it was like 2015.
01:56:10
Speaker
VHS because there was a one like authentic like I wanted to be a VHS like the old like tofu movies
01:56:20
Speaker
or get the ah man with the iron fist vinyl combo pack the dual combo pack but ah yeah if you want more from you can head over to every action.com we got all of our yeah news reviews trailers we got of our regular podcast stuff past commentaries head over check all stuff out And yeah, so for Chris and Adam, I'm Zach, and we will see you next commentary.
01:56:44
Speaker
For more for Everything Action, head to www.everythingaction.com. You can also find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash everything.action and follow us on X at EVAction.
01:56:58
Speaker
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