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The Single Rider Line Episode 13: Fast Food Tier List
29 Plays4 months ago
(A diseased man) Lance is back at it again with a fast food tier list! Opinions will be shared. All the TSRL bullshit you have come to expect.
Lance's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/this_is_lunarus/
Lance's Twitter: @lunarusirl
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Transcript
Introduction: The Ultimate Coaster Ride
00:00:04
Speaker
Sunday! Sunday! you ready for the highest and fastest poster in the world? Are you ready for island dares you to come face to face with the beast. The beast. 7,000 feet.
00:00:23
Speaker
um
00:00:26
Speaker
You can't hear my voice. The Loch Ness Monster lives. This man can't handle it.
Unforeseen Delays and Patience
00:00:37
Speaker
wow Oh, no.
00:00:45
Speaker
Mr. Pop.
00:01:08
Speaker
All riders waiting and on top build rapture. We are currently experiencing a mechanical issue and you do not know the length of the delay. Once again, got clear the throat real quick. We're riding it. We're running it back solo again this week.
Solo Host Reflection and Welcome Back
00:01:22
Speaker
How's it going? Welcome back to the single rider line. Good to have you guys back. we We've had, we had a guest on last week. We had Logan on last week. That was nice.
00:01:34
Speaker
But now it's back to me staring at my computer screen and speaking into the void and hoping somebody on the other end can hear me. I may scream and scream, but I will never be heard. I don't know where that came from, but good to have you guys back. Hope you are having a wonderful, wonderful week.
Fast Food Tier List: A Follow-Up Exploration
00:01:59
Speaker
We're doing something not different, but ah consider this a follow up to the gas station tier list. So last time we did this, we did a hypothetical road trip. We're we're doing a road trip across the United States and you know we were thinking what gas stations do we want to run into on this road trip? Obviously we're not going out of the way to it, but We made a tier list of S being the best, F being the worst. um you know If I'm driving down the road, would I rather run into a Bucky's, Bucys, whatever you wanna call it, or would I rather run into a 7-Eleven? I'd rather run into, I call it Bucky's, but I'd rather run into a Bucky's personally.
00:02:49
Speaker
um Instead of a ah instead of a 711. So that's kind of what we're doing today. However, we're doing it with drumroll please fast food.
Food Preferences and Celiac Limitations
00:03:04
Speaker
As somebody who does at least one road trip a year. uh, out in, uh, out in the forever void that is the United States and it's big ass land mass. Um, you know, what do you want to run into? Where are you pulling over to get some food? Because you've been driving for eight hours and you have eight since five in the morning. And it's like, damn, I need some lunch. So, um, here's what we got going on. There's a lot of stuff I've never, well, actually let me back this up.
00:03:39
Speaker
I'm going to preface this entire tier list right now. I have what is called celiac disease. For those of you who are unaware of what that is, I can't eat wheat or barley or rye. So bread, ah anything baked, anything fried, um i can't I can't eat. um Stuff like french fries and stuff is fine. um But like chicken tenders or fried chicken,
00:04:07
Speaker
I can't eat it. I'll, uh, I'll quite literally die. So you're going to hear a lot of stuff on here that I have not had. So I'm going to list off everything I haven't had that is on this list on tier maker.com. Um, so here is what is not going to be on this list.
Fast Food Rankings: Personal Experiences and Gluten-Free Considerations
00:04:26
Speaker
We have,
00:04:28
Speaker
Baja Fresh Mexican Grill, A and&W, um All American Food, Bojangles, Carl's Jr., Checkers, Church's Chicken, Cookout, never even heard of them. Pololoco, Mo's, ah Long John Silver's, ah Jolly B, I think that's how you say it. um
00:04:50
Speaker
soreros quinzos taco cabana tory taco zaxbys roy rogers pot belly cu doba I think it's how you say it. I have a bit of runny nose right now, so.
00:05:03
Speaker
Forgive me. um wing ah Wings over, ah White Castle, Blimpy, Boston Market, Del Taco, Jack in the Box, Penn Station, PDQ, Swinson's, Firehouse, Jimmy John's, Popeyes, Waterburger, and Wawa. These are all places I have never been to, so they are not going to be on this list. Ignore them. They're not even in your peripheral. Got it? All right. Got it.
00:05:32
Speaker
So what we do have is here is everything that's going to be on the list on the scale of. ah I need to actually hold on. I need to adjust this for real quick. I it says the way this is labeled is the best like at the very top of them BCDF. I need to change that to a. A tier. We're going to make an eight year and then we're going to add a row above.
00:06:03
Speaker
And we're going to add an S tier.
00:06:07
Speaker
ope Come on, let me. There we go. S tier will make that like a beautiful pink. All right. All right, so we got S through F. S being the best, F being the worst.
00:06:23
Speaker
The places up for contention are Arby's, Burger King, Raisin Cane's, I need to take that off, whoops. um So Arby's, Burger King, Chick-fil-A, Chipotle, Culver's, Denny's, ah Pizza Hut, or sorry, ah Domino's Pizza Hut's on here as well. ah Dairy Queen, Five Guys, IHOP, In-N-Out, Jersey Mike's,
00:06:48
Speaker
I know Jersey Mike's is a sub place, so you're probably thinking, why, why the hell is this on here? Jersey Mike's is the only sub location that has gluten-free bread. So that's why it is on here. KFC, Little Caesars, ah McDonald's,
00:07:05
Speaker
KFC I'm leaving on here, by the way, just because they have stuff other than fried chicken. ah Noodles and Company, Panda Express, Panera Bread, Papa John's, Pizza Hut, we already mentioned, Shake Shack, Sheets. Hey, hey, we got a double contender here. Somebody from our ah somebody from the tier list earlier this year made it on there. Good job, Sheets. Skyline, Sonic, Steak and Shake, Subway, Taco Bell, Waffle House, Wendy's, and Wingstop.
00:07:33
Speaker
So we're going to go through all of these one by one and probably piss some people off, but I really don't care. So let's, I'm going to take a short break to blow my nose and I will be right back. And through the magical power of editing, I am back so incredibly click quickly. Wow. Okay. We got a lot to go through. So let's get into it. Arby's. I feel like Arby's is Like, whoever seeks out an Arby's genuine question. Who is like, yeah, I want Arby's. I want to go have a sandwich with a bunch of meat on there and and call it a day. I haven't been to Arby's in forever. Like, I'm trying to think of the last time I went to Arby's. I honestly might the last time
00:08:27
Speaker
I do run the last time I went to Arby's last time I went to Arby's was whenever they were doing the good burger to promotion and Arby's is known obviously for their like not traditional burger sandwiches. And while they were doing the good burger promotion, they had a traditional burger there and that's what I got. It was all right. It wasn't anything to write home about, but their strawberry shake was good.
00:08:55
Speaker
I feel like Arby's is not awful. I don't want to give it F tier, but if C is the middle of the road, B is it like just above middle of the road. I'm going to put Arby's. I want to put Arby's in D. I feel like that's, but that's a good spot for it because, and maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's just a Midwest Ohio thing. Um,
00:09:22
Speaker
You know, Arby's, we have Arby's around here. It's just, I never see the Arby's line full ever. I go to McDonald's, Chick-fil-A, Culver's, those places are packed. I feel like always Arby's has a line.
00:09:38
Speaker
never from, from what I've seen, but that could just be because I'm not paying attention to it as well. So I'm going to cut myself some slack there. D feel like that's a good tier burger cake. I'm going to get some shit for this one. I like burger King. Um, they don't have gluten-free buns. So that's kind of a knock for me. However, I can just bring my own. I think their burgers are pretty good. I know that that's not a popular opinion.
00:10:06
Speaker
I was talking to my girlfriend about Burger King's burgers and we had a ah fake argument, so that was that was fun. Just like you know throw them back and forth. Their fries are good. They're not the absolute best. You're going to hear my preferences on fries as we get into this. Actually, I'll just tell you now, my preferences on fries is like super thin and crispy.
00:10:28
Speaker
um Steak fries and more traditional fries have their place, but they're not my absolute favorite. Um, kind of depends on what you're getting and where you're getting it at. Like steak fries, those are great with barbecue. And whenever you go into somewhere like Red Robin, uh, whenever you're grabbing food on this hypothetical road trip, yeah I'll pass.
00:10:53
Speaker
I'll gladly take a Burger King out in the middle of nowhere though. next ah Hooked on to a ah ah loves gas station or something like that. Those are kind of rare. Not loves, but Burger King's on on gas stations. I traditionally see them more on ah just like individually by themselves. On loves, you see like Subway and McDonald's and that sort of thing. so Burger King, gonna go in beats here.
00:11:19
Speaker
B for Burger King, uh, nothing. Not like top tier fast food, but I do like, I do like Burger King. That's not, uh, it's not middle of the road just yet. All right. Chick fillet. Hmm.
00:11:38
Speaker
Chick-fil-A. They're a little pricey. I'll give them that. all all these All the fast food places have become a little pricey. Burger King's got them a little expensive. Arby's, I haven't been there in forever, so I can't really speak for it. But yeah, Chick-fil-A is not cheap. I mean, they got some good stuff. Their grilled chicken sandwiches are great. and They have gluten-free buns there as well, by the way. So good job. Good job, Chick-fil-A. Round of applause for you.
00:12:02
Speaker
um
00:12:05
Speaker
Chick-fil-A. Where should we put you? I'm a fan of their shakes. They have the rotating seasonal shakes, which are nice. um i wish that I wish that they had more options as far as shakes go. They have only have like three flavors year round, and it's like strawberry. No, they have four. Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, and then whatever the seasonal flavor is. The peach one is really good in the summer. I like the peach one.
00:12:35
Speaker
quite a bit sandwiches are good I don't feel like shit eating Chick-fil-a the Chick-fil-a sauce is really damn good I'm a sucker for that it's full of sugar but it tastes good so Chick-fil-a when we put you um I'm gonna have to go a step above Burger King because I like Chick-fil-a more than Burger King it's not the absolute greatest but I think it's up there so I'm gonna put an A tier There's some things I'm not the biggest fan of. I've had some issues with their ordering, at least at the one here in Troy. um Sometimes whenever you order grilled nuggets, or just nuggets in general, there's like something the size of a dime in there, and they count that as a nugget because for whatever reason, I don't know, whoever's in the back that day was not having a good day, I guess.
00:13:24
Speaker
um Chick-fil-A also has some questionable political stances, but I'm not going to get into that right now. All right, moving on. Up next is my personal, I don't know if it's my personal favorite on this list. ah Very well, maybe. However, it's definitely the healthiest on here and the one that I have the most often just because of my workouts and those goals. That is Chipotle.
00:13:55
Speaker
I feel like Chipotle has perfected the simplistic menu to the best of its ability because there's not a whole lot you can get at Chipotle. You have a lot of options of what you could put on there, but as far as actual menu items, it's a bowl, burrito, or tacos. There's a case of these as well. Like it's all,
00:14:21
Speaker
one variation or or another of that. Because you can get a burrito bowl where you just put whatever in there. You can get a salad bowl, which is essentially just a burrito bowl, but they throw some lettuce on the bottom of it. um So I would still consider that a burrito bowl if you ask me.
00:14:34
Speaker
um
00:14:38
Speaker
You can get tacos, just hard shell or soft shell. That's that's easy enough. And that's it. Yeah. Did I mention a traditional burrito? Yeah, obviously traditional burrito. but Chipotle, I don't feel like shit eating. I feel good eating Chipotle. It's really, really high in sodium, but it's that's OK. Their chicken is super consistent. Their portion size. OK, we got to get into the portion sizes. I almost forgot. Their portion sizes are so off the wall awful. Because sometimes they absolutely load you up. And other times they give you like
00:15:20
Speaker
Absolutely nothing. So Chipotle get your shit together, please. There was that trend going around for a while. of people recording like the people making their food just so they can get more portions. That's honestly, I get it. It's not a bad idea. Even if you're not actually recording them, just like holding your phone up like you are recording them, just so that they give you better food prices. Chipotle is not super expensive, but they're not cheap either. It's not like they're, it's not like they're bottom of the barrel stuff as far as pricing goes.
00:15:58
Speaker
So I do kind of get it. I wish it was more consistent across the board because I'm sure you've all seen Chipotle's commercials and how they show like these giant massive bowls that are practically overflowing and they throw some guac on there. It looks good. Now only it could be like that in real life. But Chipotle is going to go in S tier. You can't not like Chipotle.
00:16:23
Speaker
chipal I feel like Chipotle you can't just find in the middle of nowhere in the United States though. If you're driving through cornfields for miles and miles, you're not going to run into a Chipotle. um It's just just not going to happen.
00:16:36
Speaker
um but would definitely take that over Burger King or Arby's by a mile. So Chipotle, our first S tier of the day. So far we got an S, Chipotle, and A, we've got Chick-fil-A, and B, we've got Burger King, and in D, we have Arby's as I take a swig of my coke, my cherry coke zero sugar.
00:17:06
Speaker
Very tasty. All right. Up next. Ooh. I'm going to have a personal. I have personal bias towards this restaurant because I used to work here whenever I was in high school. um This is probably.
00:17:30
Speaker
Actually, no, I saw this. I know this is I know this for a fact because I saw that they did a survey on this or not not a survey of people, but just like they surveyed the restaurants, food and all that. um Culver's. It's more of a mid. It's more of an eastern United States thing. You're not going to really find any in any, any, any major cities. Does Culver's even have any out West? Hold on.
00:17:59
Speaker
Culver's map.
00:18:04
Speaker
Where does Culver's have locations at?
00:18:13
Speaker
Come on website, work with me. Oh man, Culver's has really expanded. Okay, so it started out in the east, more like northern, because it started at the Wisconsin based ah fast food chain. Because they got their Wisconsin cheese cheese curds, as they say.
00:18:35
Speaker
Um, but yeah, they've expanded to Texas. Like I'm on in Arizona, Utah, Idaho. They have not gone out to California or Nevada yet. Um, neither Washington or Oregon either. So Culver says really expanded, but, um, Culver's they got their butter burgers. Those are pretty damn good. I worked at Culver's for two years while I was in high school.
00:19:04
Speaker
I had essentially a full-time job there. I was doing 40 hours a week while in class. That fucking sucked. I'm so glad I don't have to do that again. I was thinking back on that recently about how about working while in high school. I got up, I went to school, got off school, went to work at like four o'clock, worked until 10 or 11, and then got up and did it the next day for two years straight, ah excluding summers, but still.
00:19:35
Speaker
That was a a little stressful, but um Culver's, I like their food. They've got salad options. Those are nice. They got the gluten-free buns. Their burgers are just good in general. It's good quality stuff, in my opinion. ah Their custard is nice. It's not ah like ice cream, but I mean, it's ice cream, but it's not ice cream. It's it's really thick, but it's like soft serve. If soft serve was super, super thick,
00:20:07
Speaker
I almost want to describe it like. You just have to try it. Go go try some custard, regardless if it's Culver's or not. I'm sure there's some place around you that serves custard. It's fairly popular. But ah Culver's.
00:20:22
Speaker
I am absolutely biased, but I'm putting an S here. I absolutely love Culver's. Um, not just because I worked there, but I think their food is just good in general. I never got tired of their food while I was working there. They've got a, it's just good. It's just good. And their fries, their fries are great. Um, I can't speak for their cheese curds. Everybody loves them for some reason, but, uh, cheese curds are breaded. So I cannot, cannot eat them, unfortunately.
00:20:52
Speaker
All right, moving on, Denny's. Oh my God, Denny's. I haven't been to a Denny's in forever. We have a lot of waffle houses around here, but Denny's are few and far between. I've never had a bad experience at Denny's. I mean, I haven't had an amazing top tier experience at Denny's, but I can't think of the last time I had it, to be fair.
00:21:17
Speaker
I'm going to go based off of a very vague memory I had back in
00:21:29
Speaker
2012, whenever I was there with my parents in at Niagara Falls. I just remember going to Denny's for some reason. I don't know why we were there. I just remember it.
00:21:42
Speaker
But it was OK. I mean, it was it was breakfast food. and What else can you really? Can you really ask for? it um I'm just going to put it in seats here because it's not bad, but it's not good. It's just kind of it's a good middle of the road. Location. All right, up next, Domino's Domino's easy eight here for me. It's not the greatest pizza on Earth. OK, let's back up.
00:22:13
Speaker
I feel like Domino's had this reputation for a long time of being just truly awful pizza. And I don't know where that came from. I have never had bad Domino's pizza because they do have gluten free, by the way. That's what at least as far as the gluten free goes. It has. Never really been bad. It has improved. Definitely. It it used to be worse, but it was never bad. and um I don't know if you guys have had Domino's recently, but go order some. It's pretty good. It's definitely improved. I'm not gonna call it the greatest pizza on earth. It's still you know chain restaurant pizza, but can you really go wrong with pizza? like I've had pizza that's...
00:22:54
Speaker
mediocre, but I've never had any that's bad. Pizza always tastes good. It's pizza. People used to compare compare their crust to like cardboard though, which I don't understand where that notion came from.
00:23:10
Speaker
but Domino's has really turned it around recently and I, I like their stuff. It's good. Uh, that's it. Just, it's good. Uh, I actually had some last night, had, uh, brought home a gluten free pizza after work cause it was late and I was wanting to watch football. So I watched some football, had some pizza, worked out, played some planet coaster and called it a night. So pretty,
00:23:37
Speaker
pretty good. So all right, Domino's in a tier up next. Dairy Queen, Dairy Queen, I feel like is that restaurant you go to, to get ice cream. And every time you go, you forget there's food there. I can't remember the last time I was at a Dairy Queen and ordered a burger. That's not true. I can. It was about two years ago after school one time. I'm trying to think,
00:24:07
Speaker
But like anytime I'm out with a friend group, if I'm going somewhere or if we want to go grab ice cream or something and there's no like Cold Stone or more like traditional ice cream place around, it's always let's go to Dairy Queen. And they have burgers, they have other fried stuff, they have Sundays, but I feel like you always forget that they have traditional food and it's not just ice cream the entire time. I mean,
00:24:36
Speaker
It's all right. It's nothing memorable. The ice cream's all right. I haven't been there in a while, but it's okay. It's better than... You know what? will We'll put Dairy Queen in B tier. I was thinking C tier, but it's not like completely unmemorable because I've had some good experiences there with friends and stuff.
00:24:56
Speaker
um on this hypothetical road trip if we were to run in there I'd remember oh yeah they have traditional food and ah who knows maybe their burgers kick ass and I just haven't had it in a while um so Dairy Queen is gonna go in beats here next to Burger King um In each tier, they're in no particular order. So like Burger King and Dairy Queen are in B tier. They're both roughly on the same level for me. So we're not going to order them in the tiers. So, all right. So far in S we have Chipotle and Culver's. In A we have Chick-fil-A and Domino's. In B we have Burger King and Dairy Queen.
00:25:37
Speaker
Oh hey, convenient Burger King and Dairy Queen right next to each other. How cute. In C, we have Denny's and in D, we have Arby's. We're gonna jump around a little bit.
00:25:49
Speaker
um I forgot you can't you guys can't see my screen. All right, up next, five guys. This is definitely, definitely a...
00:26:00
Speaker
Eastern United States thing. I like to call five guys the ah Eastern, ah the Eastern in and out. Let me check five guys locations. Hold on. Are they out West now? Five guys location map.
00:26:24
Speaker
Oh my God. Five guys is everywhere. What the fuck?
00:26:30
Speaker
They've just expanded so much. I was like, what? My whole perception of this restaurant has been changed. I thought this was like a, uh, an Eastern United States thing, but no, it's everywhere.
00:26:49
Speaker
They have where they have three in Hawaii. They have 121 in California.
00:26:59
Speaker
Here's something funny. And in California, they have 121. Five guys in Ohio. They have 66. Let me check. Hold on. I'm curious now. Square footage of. No, not square footage. How many acres?
00:27:27
Speaker
Does California have?
00:27:32
Speaker
So California has 140 million acres. So if we punch that into a calculator and they have 161 locations, um, 140 million divided by 161 puts us at one location per 645 or round up, um, 646,000 acres of land in California. So if we do, how many acres does Ohio have million acres? Okay. So if we do,
00:28:18
Speaker
28.8 will be generous around up to 29. 29 million divided by 66.
00:28:31
Speaker
So for every 439,000 acres in Ohio there is one Five Guys location and for California it's for every 650 something thousand acres there's a Five Guys. So per per acreage basis Five Guys has more locations in Ohio per acreage basis that's
00:29:03
Speaker
That's pretty good. I love that. All right, five guys on onto their actual food. Why the fuck is five guys so expensive? I know their portion sizes are massive. and I know they're I know they're nice. I know it's good food. I know it's pretty decent quality for as far as fast food goes. But oh my God, I don't want to go there and take me and my girlfriend out and spend $40 on five guys.
00:29:30
Speaker
Price is like like their food is good. It's really good. It's not $40 good between two people like that's that's kind of nuts for some fast food.
00:29:43
Speaker
just because of the price alone, I'm going to, I'm going to knock five guys down to C tier just because, just because of the price, their food would probably, their food is what is keeping them or the price is what is keeping them out of like eight tier and S tier right now, or they're sorry, their prices keeping them out of eight tier and S tier because their food is good, but I cannot for the life of me, put them higher with how expensive they are. So five guys,
00:30:13
Speaker
Gonna go in C tier. Not uh, not bad, but man, I have to go there sparingly. All right, up next, IHOP. IHOP I like. ah It's just, it's good. It's good. I like their pancakes. They have gluten-free pancakes, which are kind of rare to see in the, I guess IHOP is a fast food. It's more of a casual sit-down restaurant. But if I was on this hypothetical road trip,
00:30:43
Speaker
We've been driving for 16 hours across the United States to go ride a kiddie coaster and get a singular credit. um I wouldn't mind stopping at IHOP, grabbing there, grabbing some breakfast. They have some more dinner options now as well. They've kind of expanded their horizons as far as food goes.
00:31:05
Speaker
um They did the IHOB promotion a few years back, if you guys remember that. And they tried to have, they had people guess what the B meant. And everybody thought it just meant international house of breakfast instead of international house of pancakes. But, uh, it meant burgers apparently. And then I have introduced burgers. So burgers are still on their menu. They still have them. I've never had an IHOP burger, but, uh, it's not, it's not too bad. I enjoy.
00:31:41
Speaker
having way too much sugar on some bread that was put onto a skillet. So IHOP, I'm gonna put you in a solid and a solid B tier. You're better than Denny's, but you're not better than Chick-fil-A or Domino's. it's more of it's It's a better experience. You know what? No, I'm gonna put IHOP in A, just by the slimmest of margins, just because I like IHOP more than Burger King and Dairy Queen.
00:32:09
Speaker
But it is by the slimmest of margins I'm keeping it in a it may get dropped back down later. We'll we'll see oh Boy this next one's gonna is gonna probably This might upset some people with this next one. In-N-Out Burger is the most overrated bullshit I have ever eaten in my entire life. It is so incredibly mediocre. It's not bad. I don't want to like say that it's bad food because it's not, but it's just okay. It's nothing.
00:32:48
Speaker
It's nothing special. In-N-Out Burger, your marketing team is amazing. I love it. You guys have all that merchandise. It's really well put together. It's great, but your burgers are just... Okay, let let me back it up. To be fair, this is probably my own fault in a way because I hyped it up in my head. I remember people telling me like, oh man, you gotta go try In-N-Out. It's so good.
00:33:15
Speaker
And then I get out to California, I try in and out. It is just, eh, it's just okay. I would take Culver's any day over in and out, personally.
00:33:27
Speaker
um In and outs aren't here in the East coast, so I don't eat them. very often. So whenever I do go out West, I get in and out every time just because it's their local staple, but it's just okay. Um, I'm going to put in and out in C tier because it's not as bad as Arby's, but it's, uh, it's just, it's so forgettable as far as food goes. I don't remember what it tastes like. I remember what Chipotle tastes like. I remember what
00:34:04
Speaker
Culver's tastes like. Remember what Chick-fil-A, Domino's, IHOP, Burger King, Dairy Queen. I remember what five guys taste like even. And in and out, it's just, i don't I don't remember. It's nothing nothing special. All right, drink, small drink break, sponsored by Coca-Cola.
00:34:31
Speaker
All right.
00:34:35
Speaker
up next Jersey mics. All right. Jersey mics. I have some, I also have some bias towards because they are the only subway shop in the entire United States chain subway shop. I should say that I'm aware of that has gluten-free subs and gluten-free ah Subway or your gluten-free Subway gluten-free sub bread. So Jersey Mike's Their subs are good. I like them. I personally think they're pretty great. I'm not gonna call it the greatest thing in the world but ah Jersey Mike's easy easy eight here. I Like that the fact that they make it fresh in front of you. That's always nice. I know it's their marketing campaign, but I
00:35:23
Speaker
Danny DeVito, I love seeing you in your commercials. I would not mind stopping by at Jersey Mike's on this road trip to go ride a kitty credit here in the single ride online. I don't know why I threw that in there, but regardless Jersey Mike's easy going in A tier. I like their stuff like their cold sandwiches, like their hot sandwiches. They're ah pretty consistent. They're a little pricey. They're not the most, they're not the cheapest thing in the world, but they're not, they're not bad.
00:35:52
Speaker
KFC, you know what KFC I'm gonna throw in I'm gonna throw that one away just because it's majority fried chicken. It's not like they have Grilled chicken or anything like that. I Their green beans and their potatoes are good, but they're nothing. They're nothing super special. So I'm gonna throw KFC away i Little Caesars, I also should have thrown away because they don't have gluten-free pizza. So I don't know why that made it on the list ignore that McDonald's. All right McDonald's is probably gonna go down with Arby's in D tier. It's okay.
00:36:31
Speaker
It's nothing special. It's McDonald's. you You go in, they're everywhere. You go in, there's like five people in there because you're out in the middle of Bumfuck, nowhere, Ohio or Oklahoma or somewhere where it's just all fields for miles.
00:36:50
Speaker
And there's a random-ass McDonald's hooked up to a Love's or a ah Flying J or something like that. Their burgers are pretty mid. They don't have gluten-free buns. But if I brought my own and threw it on there, it's just OK. Another hot take. Their fries are just OK. I have some preferences as far as fries go, which we'll get into ah here later because we got it coming up in a bit. You'll you'll hear it hear it later.
00:37:19
Speaker
um
00:37:22
Speaker
McDonald's is just, just okay. but And their ice cream machine doesn't work half the time. I know that's like the most beaten to death joke ever, but it's, it's pretty realistic. Um, they've had some good, they've had some bright spots. I know the grimace shake was pretty good whenever that was out two years ago, I think. Um, I think that was two years ago.
00:37:44
Speaker
uh it's just it's just okay it's just forgettable i have no desire to go to mcdonald's really ever um maybe once in a while but it's very rare i'll give it another try sometime so mcdonald's is in d tier next to arby's up next noodles and company i love noodles and okay i should say i love it but Noodles traditionally are not gluten free. However, noodles and company for a $3 upcharge will give you gluten free noodles. So I personally love noodles and company stuff because noodles for me are very hard to come by in
00:38:32
Speaker
fast food realm at the store you can buy you can buy noodles basically whenever but in the fast food realm they are unheard of ah so noodles and company good job i like the ah i like the baked stuff that you do i like the the baked noodles with the cheese and and the chicken and it's like a pizza bowl sort of thing it's good i enjoy it um would suggest going there. Noodles and company, there's not a whole lot of them around. They're kind of hard to find. Traditionally you find them in like shopping centers, like outdoor malls, not like a strip mall or anything, but you know what I'm talking about where for example, look up the green in Kettering, Ohio. If you want a good example of a, of where you would find a noodles and company green is spelled G R E E N E by the way. Um,
00:39:26
Speaker
But yeah, news and company pretty good. I enjoy their stuff where I'm going to put them though. Um, I want to do eight year. I don't have them that often though, just because they're a little pricey. I'm going to throw beats here just because they're not as readily accessible and they're a little pricey, but they could be an eight year, but their price and just lack of locations knocks them down a peg.
00:39:55
Speaker
Yeah, I think B tier is pretty appropriate. Yeah, we'll, we'll leave them there. Panda Express. All right. Panda Express. Easy, easy A tier. Um, I can't eat a lot of their stuff. I'll be honest with you. However, their rice. Oh my God. It's so good.
00:40:15
Speaker
Their rice is some of the best I have ever had ever. It's so simple, but it's just so, so good. I, I love the smell in there. I haven't had it in a while. You know what? No, it's it's not an eight tier. I need to, I have the rose tinted goggles on. I'm bringing it down to B Panda express have some more gluten free options, please. I i love.
00:40:39
Speaker
that the fact that you have a location and in King's Island, I really appreciate that. However, I would like if you had something else to offer me and my other deceased, I almost said deceased, diseased friends. Celiac disease is a bitch. Panda Express got some work to do. Actually, hold on. Panda Express gluten free.
00:41:19
Speaker
Do they have anything aside from the rice that's gluten free? I don't think they do.
00:41:38
Speaker
Panda Express gluten free options. Allergen information.
00:41:48
Speaker
Yeah, there's not a whole lot on here that doesn't contain wheat. ah Unfortunately. Pretty much everything aside from their rice contains, contains wheat. No, their sweet and sour sauce, their chili sauce doesn't. how Even their soups contain wheat. What the hell?
00:42:08
Speaker
Come on, Panda Express. Get your, get your shit together. All right. Up next, Panera bread. Easy, easy F tier. There's like absolutely nothing I can eat there. There is very few things I can have there. They have nothing gluten-free as far as bread goes. Nothing gluten-free as far as cookies or pastries go. Their salads are okay. They're nothing special, but Panera bread.
00:42:34
Speaker
ah Why no no F tier and they're and they're expensive too. They're they have some fruit smoothies that are decent But for one fruit smoothie, it's like six dollars. I'm not paying six dollars for a smoothie I might as well just go buy or just go get a nice one at like a local ah coffee shop a lot of coffee shops do smoothies and stuff as well, so Panera bread F tier I'm ah tired of
00:43:06
Speaker
I'm tired of driving past you. I wish you would give some more gluten-free options and I wish you would ah get your shit together, but apparently not. Papa John's. I haven't had Papa John's in a while. They have gluten-free pizza as well, but there're they're okay. I need to give them another try, to be fair. I feel like I can't give a good assessment of Papa John's, so I'm just gonna go ahead and put them in C tier.
00:43:32
Speaker
I need to give them another shot because I'm such a Domino's go-to. My go-to here in good old Dayton, Ohio is Domino's and Donato's. Donato's I believe is a local chain.
00:43:51
Speaker
Donato's location map.
00:43:58
Speaker
No, never mind. Don Donato's is everywhere. Holy um shit. OK, so they're mostly based in Ohio, but they do have locations other places, so.
00:44:14
Speaker
um
00:44:19
Speaker
They have a lot of locations in California and they have a lot of locations in Ohio. God, they have so many Ohio locations. But they have a few spread like sprinkled throughout the United States. They got some in Washington, Wisconsin, Virginia, one in Utah, Texas, Tennessee. So they're kind of all over, but they're mainly based in Ohio. Hold on. Where are they based out of?
00:44:43
Speaker
Where is Donato's pizza from? Yeah, it's from Ohio. All right. I was correct. um So i'm I'm still going to call it Ohio based.
00:44:56
Speaker
But, uh, Donato's is not what we're talking about right now. We're talking about pizza or Papa John's Papa John's. I haven't had you in a while. I need to give you another try. I know you got gluten free. It's been like three years since since since I've tried it. I just go to Domino's and Donato's so much. I'm gonna put you in C tier just out of respect because I can't really say that you're bad or that you're good for the stuff I did have though. A while back, it was all right. It wasn't the greatest thing on on the planet earth, but it was pretty good pizza hut F tier. Oh my God.
00:45:25
Speaker
your gluten free pizza is ass. It is so bad. its It's not bad. It's just, it's tiny. It's like a personal sized pizza and they want like $15 for it. And it's made with crust that you can hold on backup. I'm not exaggerating when I say this, the crust that they use for their gluten free pizza at pizza hut is crust that you can go into Walmart or Meijer, go into the gluten free section and you can buy it for like five or six bucks. I am not joking. It is. Why? Why? Why can't you do what Papa John's and Domino's does and just make it in house or have it frozen or make it somewhere else and have it frozen and shipped to you? ah I don't understand. I really don't understand.
00:46:19
Speaker
um So easy F tier down with Panera Brett. It's a Why? Shake Shack. Hell yeah. Love Shake Shack. Easy B tier um
00:46:33
Speaker
Shake Shack, pretty good. The shakes are pretty good, a little pricey. They're burgers, pretty good as well. I enjoy them quite a bit. I don't mind stopping by a shakes Shake Shack every once in a while. um I've had them in probably a year or so, but from what I remember, they're pretty good. Strawberry Shake is my go-to there, absolutely love that. ah Panda Express, I'm actually gonna knock down a tier, or I'm actually gonna knock down two tiers. I'm gonna knock it down to D.
00:46:59
Speaker
um Another rice is good, but that's not enough to keep them up and be with with everything else so Shake Shack going to be tier what we got so far s we got Chipotle and Culver's a we got Chick-fil-a Domino's I hop in Jersey Mike's in B. We got Burger King Dairy Queen Noodles and Company and Shake Shack in C. We got Denny's five guys in and out Papa John's in D R B's McDonald's Panda Express and F Panera Bread Pizza Hut
00:47:29
Speaker
So that's what we're looking at right now. We've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine places left. Up next is Sheets. Sheets, I wouldn't consider a traditional restaurant, but they put this on this list. I didn't. um Sheets, I like their stuff. I wish they had a bit more gluten free options, but I'm going to throw them up in beats here as well with Shake Shack.
00:47:55
Speaker
their fries are awesome they're thin they're crispy they're what I like they're not my absolute favorite on this list um you'll see my favorite coming up here shortly but sheets I like your stuff I like what you're doing I like the fact that it's not that you can get restaurant quality food at a gas station. It's not, you know, again, they're going to be the greatest thing on earth. It's still fast food, but it's good. I enjoy it. Their shakes. Their shakes are pretty good. and Um, I'm a big milkshake kind of guy. If you haven't found out by now, um, I haven't tried any of their like coffee stuff yet. Apparently that's not too bad, but, um, I'll have to give that a try sometime. So sheets go into B tier.
00:48:45
Speaker
It's OK. It's good. Wish they had some more options, but their fries and their fries. Oh yeah, their fries platter. Those are good. Get one of those if you can. It's ah but it's essentially just not our loaded fries, but you can throw whatever you want on there.
00:49:00
Speaker
um Probably not the healthiest thing in the world for you, but it tastes good. So None of this is about health really aside from Chipotle That's this is all really just whatever tastes the best skyline chili. Oh my god as a Ohio and I feel like I have to put this an S tier I'm not going to though This may surprise some people skyline You're going indeed here. You have so few options for me It's I haven't been in a while. I'll give it that. But man, Skyline, why? What what is it with with restaurants not giving me and my diseased friends options as far as food goes? It's. It's so infuriating. My sister works there, actually.
00:49:54
Speaker
um at a Skyline location. She's even working there for since she was in high school. She's over 30 now and she's been working at Skyline this entire time. I know she's a manager of some sort there, but man, that's impressive. I haven't really thought about that in a while. Good job. Good job unnamed sister that I will not name just for privacy reasons, um but Skyline D tier. I might give it a try here again shortly. I need to. I need to give another try, but as of now D tier.
00:50:26
Speaker
Ooh, here's one of my personal favorites. Sonic, easy A tier. I love, love, love their tater tots. Their tater tots are so good. and Their ice cream is good. Their shakes are good. and I feel like Sonic is like Dairy Queen in a way. You go for the ice cream and then they also happen to have food there as well. I feel like Sonic is ah just a bit higher quality though. I mean, it's still, it's still junk fast food, but like On the ice cream side of things, I've had better experiences at Sonic compared to Dairy Queen many, many, many times. I also like the drive up function. hey You're not having to go through a drive through. You can pull into one of those spots, order on the screen, and then somebody will bring it out to you. They don't bring it out to you on roller skates anymore for obvious reasons, but I wish they did. That would have been really cool to see.
00:51:18
Speaker
um
00:51:22
Speaker
But ah Sonic A tier going up there with Chick-fil-A Dominoes, IHOP, and Jersey Mics. I like their stuff. Their new logo refresh looks good. It's basic, it's simple, but it gets the point across. Looks good. All right, here we go. I've been teasing the whole fries thing for forever. These are my favorite fries in the entire game, and you cannot convince me otherwise. Steak and shake. Oh my God, I love their fries. They're so good.
00:51:52
Speaker
um They're thin, they're crispy, there you can grab like 30 of them and throw them in your mouth. And it's like a blend between a french fry and a potato chip. They're awesome, I love them.
00:52:08
Speaker
um Please do not change how you do your fry steak and shake. Steak and shake has so fallen off a cliff recently though, like financially.
00:52:21
Speaker
I feel like they're always closed at my Dayton location. um They don't seem to be open anytime I find them. Why is Steak and Shake in such bad financial spots? Hold on. Google help me.
00:52:46
Speaker
Steak and Shake financial trouble.
00:52:55
Speaker
What happened to Steak N Shake?
00:53:07
Speaker
Restaurant and business magazine. Loading slowly but surely. Here we go. Sales at the burger chain owned by the San Antonio based investment firm.
00:53:22
Speaker
um increased by 7% in the second quarter, according to the company's most recent earnings report. Profits from the chain more than doubled to 8.6 million. That's not very high.
00:53:34
Speaker
um
00:53:38
Speaker
the Oh, here we go. Weakening sales at the burger chain had ushered in an era of massive changes at the company, along with closed restaurants.
00:53:52
Speaker
um The brand operated 612 restaurants five years ago, but has closed 129 of them since not including the 30 that are temporarily shut down staking shake had come days from filing for bankruptcy protection in 2021 until um Big Laurie Holdings paid off its debt in the last minute The brand in your sense has undertaken a complex ah conversion from a full service family dining chain with a drive through into a counter service burger centric fast food brand has also started selling corporate stores to franchise partners. Oh, so basically their sales just dropped off a cliff. I'm sure there's reasoning for it. I'm not going to get into, but hopefully make a comeback. I like steak and shake. The one near me is open now, but it's, it's still like,
00:54:42
Speaker
kind of wavering so we'll we'll see okay um up next subway f tier who goes to subway genuine question um no gluten free sub bread their salads are they're okay they're nothing to write home about but they will hold you over Subway is like the one thing that I consistently find no matter where I go. I know they have the most locations out of any ah fast food brand, but they don't make, they aren't the most profitable. So like Subway is always the last thing I go to, you know? Like Subway has to be the final option for me. I have to be really hungry for me to go to a Subway.
00:55:37
Speaker
I get the appeal, but I just don't. Don't care. I mean. Maybe this is just a me thing, but when was the last time you guys went to a subway? Genuine question, let me know. Let me know in comments or on or on Twitter. When was the last time you went to a subway? I don't I can't remember. I remember walking through a subway.
00:56:06
Speaker
like at a ah travel stop, but I have never intentionally gone to a subway to eat food.
00:56:17
Speaker
All right. Um, actually, I mean, I have intentionally gone that to eat food. I don't know what I was saying, but I haven't gone there like, because I absolutely wanted to go to subway, you know, it's always like, okay, yeah, fine. I guess we'll go to subway.
00:56:33
Speaker
Up next, Taco Bell S tier. I fucking love Taco Bell. Um, they're a little, they've gotten a little expensive as of, of as of late, but they're Cantina chicken bowls. Awesome Doritos. Locos, tacos. Awesome Baja blast. You can't go wrong. Baja blast. That's like, in my opinion, it's the best Mountain Dew flavor to have ever been invented. Um, what else?
00:57:01
Speaker
Uh, they're cheesy fiesta potatoes. Those are good. Uh, it's just, it's just good food. Taco Bell is good stuff. I can't, I can't complain about, about Taco Bell. Um, there, there is a lack of gluten free options there, but their food just makes up for it. I really enjoy me some Taco Bell and I frequent it. Not as much as Chipotle.
00:57:31
Speaker
But I frequent it more than Culver's. It's my it's my late night go to Taco Bell is so convenient whenever you're hungry. It's like twelve thirty at night. You want to go get some food. The store is closed. Every other place is closed. But it's like, hey, Taco Bell is still open. So. Thank you, Taco Bell, for having late hours. I appreciate it.
00:57:59
Speaker
Up next, Waffle House. I am a sucker for Waffle House. I love Waffle House. Don't ask me why. I love their hash brown bowls where they throw a bunch of shit in there and put some cheese on there and some bacon and some ham and some eggs. I love Waffle House. It's so good. I don't care. I know their locations are questionable um and the people that go in there are questionable. Um, but waffle house is that one place you go to at four in the morning after you were just at a party and then, uh, you got, you know, you're getting talked to by somebody that's on crack and, um, telling you about all these trips they've had. Um, not physical trips, but mental trips. Um, waffle house. Good, good stuff. I've had some good experiences there.
00:58:59
Speaker
Whenever I worked at Kings Island, actually, there's a Waffle House not too far from the park and. Not every night, but probably once a week during Haunt, we would go there after the park closed me and my other. Ride up friends and just go have Waffle House before going home. It was it was a good time. I enjoyed it. So Waffle House easy eight here. We're down to two more. We've got two left.
00:59:29
Speaker
We are wrapping up the list. Wendy's. Oh, Wendy's. Where do I put you? Wendy's Wendy's. I think I'm going to put in beats here. It's good. Their fries are good. I'm not going out of my way to get Wendy's though. It's like, if it's there, it's there sort of thing. It's just, it's just okay. Their frosts are good. I'm a vanilla frosty kind of guy.
00:59:57
Speaker
But their fries, their fries are good. I'll give them that. Their fries are pretty good. Their burgers are pretty forgettable. Um, they're not awful in the slightest, but they're not mind blowing. You know what? Now we're about Wendy's down to C tier because I like Burger King and noodles and company and Dairy Queen far more than Wendy's. Um, yeah, Wendy's C tier. Not bad, not great. Just, just middle of the road. Perfect C tier.
01:00:29
Speaker
Wingstop is our last one and Wingstop I'm gonna have to put in D tier. They're nothing special. They're okay. They have some gluten-free options. They're few and far between though. They're a little expensive honestly and i the one near here is always busy and always i you have like a 45 minute wait just to get your food and it's supposed to be a fast food place.
01:00:54
Speaker
I don't know why it's like that. um Granted, it's the one on the ah the UC campus and I don't know, man. I've just never had a good experience at Wingstop and it's just it's just pretty mid. All right.
01:01:15
Speaker
So we have the final official, the single writer line fast food tier list. This is fact and going to be going to be put into law here tomorrow. So make sure that you guys are ready to obey. Um, all right. I had to take a drink real quick. My voice was getting a little, a little weird.
Final Thoughts on Fast Food Rankings
01:01:39
Speaker
Here is the final list.
01:01:42
Speaker
In F tier, we have Panera Bread, Pizza Hut, and Subway. In D tier, we have RBS, McDonald's, Panda Express, Skyline, Chili, and Wingstop. In C tier, we have Denny's, Five Guys, In-N-Out, Papa John's, and Wendy's. In B tier, we've got Burger King, Dairy Queen, Noodles & Company, Shake Shack, and Sheets. In A tier, we have Chick-fil-A, Domino's, IHOP, Jersey Mike's, Sonic, Waffle House, and steak and Shake & Shake.
01:02:11
Speaker
And the top three that I have rated is Chipotle Culver's and Taco Bell. So that is the official, the single writer line tier list of fast food restaurants. So make sure you use this next time you're on a road trip, make sure that you, uh, have this on standby. So, you know where to go because my opinion is the only opinion that matters. Um,
01:02:42
Speaker
So that is going to be it for this week's episode. Thank you guys so much for listening. I really appreciate it.
Episode Conclusion and Social Engagement
01:02:48
Speaker
My name is Lance. Go follow me on Twitter at, uh, lunaris I R L L U N A R U S I R L. Go check me out on Instagram. This, uh, this underscore is underscore lunaris spelled the exact same way as the other one is. And, uh, that is, that is about it. I really appreciate you guys listening. Um,
01:03:13
Speaker
making this a weekly thing. Obviously this will be three weeks in a row. So I'll i'll be back next week to talk to you guys again. It's been good talking to you guys. IAPA starts this Sunday actually. So we'll have some of my IAPA stuff to talk about ah next week. So hope to hear from you guys then.
01:03:30
Speaker
Have a great rest of your week. ah Stay safe. Don't ah don't do anything stupid. And I hope you guys are enjoying the offseason and playing at Coaster 2. I'll talk to you guys later and we'll see you next time in the single rider line. The single rider line. God, I can't fucking talk right now.