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025 - The Vulne-Rebel: From Emotional Numbness to Empowered Authenticity with Marilyn Moore
33 Plays9 months ago
Join host Reggie D. Ford in an inspiring conversation with Marilyn Moore, a Bronx native living in Brooklyn with a passion for empowering communities. Marilyn shares her journey from numbness to embracing vulnerability, finding strength in motherhood, and advocating for change. As the author of "The Vulne-Rebel," Marilyn's insights delve deep into the complexities of vulnerability and resilience. Through her work as CEO of Divine Appetite LLC, Marilyn is on a mission to bring light to saving the planet, supporting black maternal health, and ending food apartheid. Get ready for an insightful discussion on resilience, community, and the power of vulnerability.
Highlights:
⭐️ Marilyn Moore's diverse roles as a mother, chef, entrepreneur, herbalist, public speaker, birth advisor, and public health advocate.
⭐️ Discover the innovative food education curriculums created by Divine Appetite LLC, along with Marilyn the Chef brand.
⭐️ Marilyn reflects on her journey from feeling numb to embracing vulnerability as a 45-year-old woman from a tough city.
⭐️ Understanding the concept of a "bonus father" and the impact of love language in family dynamics.
⭐️ The conversation explores the exhausting journey of trying to compartmentalize different aspects of oneself to fit societal expectations, and how vulnerability became a catalyst for Marilyn's personal growth and authenticity.
⭐️ Reggie shares his own experience of vulnerability through his book, emphasizing the importance of embracing all facets of oneself, even the ones society deems undesirable.
⭐️ Marilyn opens up about her book "The Vulne- Rebel," sharing real-life testimonies and experiences from her journey of navigating mental health challenges, stigma, and societal expectations.
⭐️ The discussion touches on the intersectionality of race, gender, and mental health, highlighting the importance of destigmatizing seeking help and prioritizing wellness in marginalized communities.
⭐️ Marilyn's journey as a mother and the lessons she imparts to her daughters about self-love, resilience, and embracing their authentic selves serve as a beacon of hope and empowerment for future generations.
⭐️ Through therapy, self-reflection, and community support, Marilyn discusses her journey of healing and self-discovery, offering hope and encouragement to others on similar paths.
⭐️ Marilyn acknowledges the difficulty of trusting others after experiencing trauma, highlighting the importance of building trust in oneself and finding security in personal boundaries.
📲 Connect with Reggie
Instagram - https://instagram.com/reggiedford
Facebook - https://facebook.com/reggiedford
LinkedIn - https://linkedin.com/in/reggiedford
Twitter - https://twitter.com/reggiedford
YouTube - https://youtube.com/@reggiedford
Website - https://reggiedford.com
Book - https://amzn.to/3Y7gBXp
Podcast - https://reggiedford.com/vulnerabilitymuscle
Podcast’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/vulnerabilitymuscle
📲 Connect with Marilyn
IG - @marilynthechef
Book - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-vulne-rebel-marilyn-moore/1144876347 Website - https://www.marilynthechef.com/
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Transcript
Introduction & Emotional Rescue
00:00:00
Speaker
Women feel like they need to be rescued because in their own homes, they were muted. Their emotions, mainly. They weren't muted. They were put to work. Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the empowering podcast challenging norms and guiding you to find strength and power through vulnerability. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford.
Redefining Vulnerability
00:00:19
Speaker
In a world that often portrays vulnerability as a sign of weakness, I believe it is a source of tremendous strength and authenticity. Through insightful conversations and thought provoking interviews, Vulnerability Muscle aims to redefine vulnerability and help listeners develop a new perspective on their own lives. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle delves into a variety of topics, such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts. We explore the power of vulnerability in healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth, as well as fostering meaningful connections. This podcast
Meet Marilyn Moore
00:00:54
Speaker
provides practical tools and strategies
00:00:57
Speaker
to navigate life's challenges, overcome adversity, and create more inclusive and just environments for all people. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We have Marilyn Moore here. Marilyn Moore is a Bronx native living in Brooklyn with four children. Marilyn's goal is to bring light to saving our planet, supporting Black maternal health, ending food apartheid, and the systems behind disenfranchised communities. She is here to thrive out loud. I love that. She's a mother, a chef, an entrepreneur, herbalist, public speaker, birth advisor, and public health advocate.
Vulnerability as a Birthright
00:01:35
Speaker
Marilyn is the CEO of Divine Appetite LLC, which creates food education curriculums and manages the Marilyn the Chef brand. Divine Appetite also offers an innovative food educator certificate course to the leaders and clients of community-based organizations. Welcome, welcome, welcome, Marilyn. How are you doing?
00:01:57
Speaker
I'm great. Thank you for having me. um like i'm It's an honor. It's an honor to have you. So before we get started, I like to open up with a couple of, I think they're easy, rapid response questions just to to get you talking. So first is what is one thing you do to relax when you're feeling stressed? o headsands Headstands. Headstands. Interesting. Tell us about that. Inversion, sometimes I do have, but I just get on the floor, rest, and kind of put pressure on the top of my skull.
00:02:36
Speaker
up here in this with the, um, pituitary gland, the hypothalamus gland is more back, back here in the back of your head. And like I i wrote in this, um, and I write in the curriculums, I wrote in my book, but I also wrote in, I write in curriculum stories about the relationship of the, of the pituitary gland. And then when I learned how to do headstands from a local workout man in the park, which I love, like he's all muscular and like, Yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh, I know how to do headstands. And you just remove the stereo tight. I was like, I heard the headstands would really help me and calm my nervous system. He's like, I can tell you how to do it. Just got down and flipped his body upside down. And I was just like.
00:03:15
Speaker
Wow. When he got up, his whole disposition shifted. And I was like, oh, I want that. I want
Empowering Women and Community Responsibility
00:03:24
Speaker
that. And so about a year of practice and falling and bruises, now it's my go-to. And if I can't, if I'm in a place, I go into a squat position. But I know it's just our body, the blood needs to flow. Yes. Oh, that's beautiful. I love that. I'm going to do some handstands today. So head stands today so you yeah you got that. What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability?
00:03:52
Speaker
a I'm about to get choked now. I'm about to get knocked out. um As a 45-year-old woman from a very rough and tough city, like the energy of it, even when you're in corporate, no matter which area, you kind of like Let's do it. We can do anything. It's nerve wracking because you're admitting that you cannot. I have to say no to people who absolutely want me to say yes to everything. I have to say you're hurting me. Like things that I did not know how to do because it was labeled as weakness and not tough enough. So that is what vulnerability just kept in my head. But I was feeling something in my gut that that's really who I was. You know, I was a vulnerable being and I deserved that just like I deserve healthy food. Like it's my divine birthright.
00:04:47
Speaker
but I'm being told by everyone that it's not. And and I don't like that. that's That's when the other part of my personality personality comes up with like, you said I can't have that? Like I can't have like healthy emotions? Nah. Yeah. i like i like I think I hear where the rebel part comes in. I like this. oh I like where this is going to go. Okay. ah which or What is one of your favorite childhood memories?
00:05:15
Speaker
Okay.
00:05:18
Speaker
I would have to say when my dad, ah my bonus father that I speak about, he's my dad, also used to get up on Saturdays, Sundays, excuse me, his only day off. And he would say, let's go to the mall because I used to watch Saved by the Bell and Growing Pains and these white shows on television that were in the suburbs. And i I wanted to so know what a mall was because we didn't have malls. and it So we had like shopping areas. We didn't have malls to hang out, but um in Yonkers, so he would drive up and we would go to the mall. And I'm telling you, that sounds so simple, but I felt like I had access to something that other people didn't, which they did it. The people in my neighborhood didn't even go to Manhattan. They didn't even ride the train to the city, let alone their parents could drive them to a mall. And it's the simple pleasures of,
00:06:09
Speaker
At that young age, I felt like my dad, and he would drive around Scarsdale, New York. And he was like, this is totally what you can have if this is what you want. Wow. It's more than the Bronx. And I don't want to get sensitive, but that's what he said. This is vulnerability muscle. You can. I mean, that ignited the vulnerable in me. That ignited that part of me. Like, I could have anything I want. And then I was like, well, wait. Why I don't have access to this? Yes,
Community vs. Individualism
00:06:38
Speaker
yes. So you call him your bonus father. what Tell me what that means.
00:06:43
Speaker
um He decided to marry my mom and my mom met him when I was four years old and within that probably three or four. I remember him from just that small age. i that Their story is so amazing that my actual father, who I was very close to, came to visit. My bonus dad welcomed him with coronas and they would sit in the living room. I don't know what kind of man things they were having, but I didn't see it. I saw a community. My mother would come out with her non-community self, like starting drama. And then I saw her with her drama and they dumped it with just look at her like, you know, and I love that. It just showed me a different aspect of men. That's why I think I'm the way I am now, because I saw men in a different way. I didn't see men like, oh, you got divorced. I hate the new guy. Like, I know that's a narrative that's real. I'm not saying that's not real, but I didn't see it. Wow.
00:07:39
Speaker
I think i he's my bonus. So I feel like he's not he's never introduced me as this is my my wife's daughter, my stepdaughter, never. This is my daughter. He adopted me in his heart, not paperwork, you know not American
Supporting Youth Through Vulnerability
00:07:53
Speaker
paperwork adoption, but talking about love, a love language that I think a lot of us are missing nowadays. But that was a love language in that era. So he knew when he came into my mother's household that he came what up she came with a package. and that That is something when I work with women who are adults who did not have that, it impacts us. And men, men and women who i've I work with having that extra man that they were like, as a kid, you're like, yes, someone's here. Oh, they're not here. OK.
00:08:25
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. you know And then having to deal with how that makes us feel. Wow. Definitely. i can I can relate on that, just not having ah my biological father in my life for most of my upbringing. But then my mom had a ah um ah significant partner for many years. And then they broke up. And it was hard because I was starting to see this person as you know My bonus file, that's cool. I love that. I love that. like It gives so much respect to that relationship. um So no, thats that's beautiful. I love it. I'm curious the work that you you do with women and empowering women. what is What does that work look like for you? It looks like getting to the root. It looks like hard work. That's what I want to call it. And I say that um because you're entering a space
00:09:21
Speaker
that has not been touched. So it's just like like you have a a beautiful dog there. And when when yeah yeah yeah when you when you first, even if you if if the dog is a puppy or an older dog, There are certain parts that they may not have received from their last owner if they're an older dog or a rescue dog or something like that. And I feel like women feel like they need to be rescued because in their own homes, they were muted.
Motherhood and Embracing Emotion
00:09:51
Speaker
Their emotions, mainly. They weren't muted. They were put to work. and Anyone who's about, especially anyone who's like 35, they were put in a different kind of work. They were put in a a work like this that skipped heartbeats.
00:10:03
Speaker
a very digital work, a very digital detached. So as I'm coming to say, let's loosen up, they like. Yeah, it's hard. I i call them the reincarnated baby boomers. So just the difference is baby boomers weren't passive aggressive. They came they were a little rougher. But baby boomers showed up. That's the difference. Baby boomers had their ways, and they were tough on us. But they watch each other's kids. that When people look back, like, how could those mean people make it? Because they had family. They weren't individuals setting boundaries and calling that vulnerable. that's not yeah That's not vulnerability. That's you hiding. And that's what I bring. And and impact everyone don't like to hear that. But it's the truth. You're hiding from your responsibilities. And I'm letting them know you you are responsible for your sister's children. And I need you to really let the internet get that out your head. You are. I tell my brother, my brother helped me when I got sick. yeah My kids had to bounce with him. they're going to Their father's calling me like,
00:11:00
Speaker
When is he coming to get them? um um That's nothing to do with me. You know what I mean? But that's my brother. My brother. You know what I'm saying? That people stigmatize who has his own children, his own wife. That's not like, I got my own thing. No, he don't. Hi, this person canceled. It's your job. It's not like, it's like when how can I fit it in? So it's not me being arrogant. It's none of that energy because it's so normal. It's like, oh, he's like, who am how do I fit into all this person cancel? All my peoples was like, how do we fit it? I can do that. I can do that. No one's saying like, if they are, they ain't telling me. And that's why they're here to win me. Like cohesive, vulnerability, communal love. Like y'all bossing it and lonely. Yeah. That's real. That's real. The moment I'm leaving with you.
00:11:49
Speaker
We've been we've been sold that rugged individualism is a thing to be proud of. And honestly, like you say, you get to the top of the work that you do and you look around and you're by yourself. And that is not a successful place to be. That is not a healthy place to be. I like I like that you. Embody the spirit of ah it takes a village it takes a village to be successful to be happy to be healthy it takes community to do that and Not just as a child not just as a child not just towards children, but to people all throughout their lives. So Yes, what what is the what is the range of? of Ages that you see mostly with the women that you work with
00:12:33
Speaker
Well, um, I've had, I feel like I've had the, can I just be honest, if we talk about statistics, let's talk about let's let's let's use my surveys at every, foot if I was studying my service, which I do and get my feedback. So middle school,
00:12:51
Speaker
I feel like all my rock stars. Middle school young ladies are coming into a space and they are the most vulnerable. So I feel like that is why there's so much um data targeted to that age group because they are at a vulnerable place to position their next move. We don't see them sometimes, but they're about to make their next move, whether that is joining a gang or going into an AP class or taking soccer, they're making that big decision whether the parents see it or not. And when you meet them there and allow them access
Writing and Public Vulnerability
00:13:27
Speaker
to it, um I just, the
00:13:31
Speaker
These are children who've had ah ah a device in their lap their whole life. They are yearning for touch. And in that like age, most of the institutions have removed touch by that age. They have sexualized our learning experience. Our entire education is about the first Intake that I had to do with students is about who they want to have sex with and that is just so up Like and when and and and I say it that way because I'm raw and the vulnerable rebels But if I have the act to ask the child who what their choices are and who not just who they identify as but like who they want to date I'm teaching I'm teaching nutrition. I mean, I'm not telling you who I'm dating. It doesn't mean us I'm biased on anything. It just means this is not your business right here I want you to just be educated and and we have so much
00:14:19
Speaker
Everything is so sexualized about what I'm doing with my reproductive organs. but That food, I said this to this student. She's like, it feels so uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about who I like or who I don't like. And I said, when they ask you that, say, my endocrine system is not there. If you thank me this morning, has impacted my endocrine system in a very negative way. So I know you think me sitting here telling you what a gender I've chosen and what if I don't know, and that's causing me stress. I am only 11 and I don't know who the heck I am.
00:14:52
Speaker
But a fifth grader, a fourth grader is going to just, that's what you want? That's what you think I should be doing? Let me answer the questions. And they do it. And then they get to this age like, wait, I don't know. I had students come in telling me ah about that. So I know I went a little longer now because I just feel like if you are in marketing, if we are capitalistic in a little way. We are creating innovation innovations that change the future. Guess where they starting? The time of your life when the future is being built in you and how you respond to things. You could snap a whole person's emotions in at 11 and they might not get it back to 35. And then that's the next age group. My next age group comes in at 24. And when I, as a 45 year old and I see the access
00:15:35
Speaker
what you've had access to, you can get on a call with someone in Ghana and chill for free. You know what I mean? And learn. When I see you have access and your choice of access is just money, that's the only thing you want access to. And then when you get the money, it is not to actually bring change long-term, it confuses me. But then I realized that middle school years is where I always recommend therapy. And I have like four different agencies I use in New York that I share because that age group is hurting in silence. It's hard for me to teach.
00:16:18
Speaker
Let's take it to about 29, five years ago. 29 to 35 was just like a three week session of lies. And then by the third week, they're like, so I think I need to work on this. And when I first started in 2014, I was teaching vulnerability and I was against that. Forget them.
Healing Through Love and Trust
00:16:38
Speaker
They don't want nothing. I'm sorry. That's so horrible. But I felt like that was reading a survey. No, no, don't say that about me. Oh, you can't do this. You don't want it. They were like, how are we supposed to do this? I can't be horrible. The little girls were like, if I cry at home, I get smacked.
00:16:54
Speaker
If I had a young man, if I had high school boys, I taught, like, ah Independence Inn is a shelter in Brooklyn. Anyone who wants to donate who listens to this, it is one of the very few teen male shelters, which is so bombarded. What's it called again? Independence Inn. Okay. Independence Inn, yes. and so and that So those are places, of great places to donate. And working with, hearing um someone in the same age group of a different gender, of you in life, I see the 29s, I'm on a journey, so I'm gonna be alone. OK, I listen before I was like, that's not it. Now I'm just right. So she's were asking, telling me to integrate. I want journeys are done alone. OK. And then here the young man tell me, you know, it's so weird. Like, i I want to I feel like we destroy people's lives. And I said, why are you saying that? He said, because every time you date and a girl, she's like, well, I'm on a journey. And if you're here, you're a distraction. And so she's like, like, I would I come in a room or I come into the life of a girl. He was tearing.
00:17:55
Speaker
my presence is going to hurt her instead of what if I could support you? What if we could study together? And he was just like, I know, I know I am broke. You know, he was, I know I'm in a, I'm in a shelter, but I'm smart. It ain't my fault. I'm in a shelter. And I just- He's internalizing that negativity because he can't be in, he can't add benefit to anybody, to a woman's life, to a girl's life because of what, oh man, that's deep. um That is really deep. I'm telling you, when I heard this, I was just looking. So I started, I shared this information. This is what I do. I say, hey. How did you get to the place where you are in terms of your vulnerability? From the gangster side that you were, and you can still be gangster and vulnerable at the same time, but how, tell me a little bit about your evolution and your journey. I started to, um, to feel more. The numbing stopped. I was very numb.
00:18:50
Speaker
I'm not, I wasn't seen as numb. I've always been seen as, you know, this emotional being, you mad emotional, you mad emotional. And from mean people, like if anger is not an emotion. So I used to just be so poor at like what emotional or if it's like some, I used to be like, is this like a Negro spiritual that was passed on to save us, like from pain? I'm being serious too, because I don't hear any other cultures like using that word as a gun, like as a weapon to weaponize or, my emotions and and make them negative and make me afraid of that. And so when I started to say, I'm not numb and I'm feeling everything and I'm crying and I started the bullying, I still get bullied on social media. I have what, 7,000 files. I'm not viral. I'm not doing nothing harmful to anyone. I'm just being honest, crying, saying I love men. I'm so grateful I have them. I get, I get an attack. Like, so I said, Oh no.
00:19:45
Speaker
No, I'm not going to stop. This must be what you need, because I understand mammals. I'm a mammalian nature that has been corrupt by ah the digital world. They don't coincide well. And we get mad when you take us out of our programming. We are robots. And if you take me out of my robot, it's working well. I'm doing good. I'm making money. I don't need no man. I'm saying that. I'm a single mother, and this feels great every day, not having no one. OK, I got you, boo, but I'm not saying that. This is not true. Yes. I love it. I love it. Yes. The human that human part of it, the animal will man, like you say, we're mammals,
Human Connection Over Digital Interaction
00:20:23
Speaker
we're animals. We have things that are similar to a monkey, similar to an elephant that is communal, that is love, that is, and we have emotion. We have high level thinking, but we have emotion. And to take any part of that away from you is to take your humanity away.
00:20:40
Speaker
And I'm glad that you embrace your humanity and give that humanity to other people. That's so beautiful. Thank you. Where did the feelings started start to come from when you when you went from numb to feeling, or at least ah acknowledging the feelings? Where did that shift happen? It happened from motherhood. Motherhood did that for me and um it was my, motherhood is one of my first miracles besides having childhood epilepsy and it being cured. Like I've never had a seizure against this one 2007. I have to throw it out there about my two miracles. So that was one. And I know part of that medication was making me infertile. I was infertile in my twenties. I got divorced because I couldn't get pregnant.
00:21:27
Speaker
Like I had to deal with all that, but I was dealing with it strong. I was strong, none of that hurt me. And it did, it did. And so when I, when that, next. that I'm like, okay, you know, I'm not religious, but God, there's a spirit, like there's something higher here. This was not science. And then I started thinking about all the things I started feeling. I started yelling it out, like get this out of me. And I am not on med, something that I thought I would be doing for the rest of my life. I had to i had to say, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm doing this.
00:22:04
Speaker
I'm going to deal with the consequences. you know And it is. I tell my women, there are consequences. That's why I didn't tell you to do it alone. Because it hurts to be mocked, and then 85% of the room is in agreement with you that you're crazy. It's not easy to be 10%. Although I'm from New York. I'm from a place with 8 million people. I'm always 1%. I don't care. I don't care about being 1% out of 8 million people. There's a lot of people. I tell my daughters that whenever you feel like you're shrinking, remember we live somewhere where 8 million people exist. So if we only the 1%, that's still a big number. yeah And that's how I had to view it because I was shrinking.
00:22:43
Speaker
I was fighting this up and down, up and down rollercoaster of emotion because I am trying to, oh, this room is for this personality. Oh, this one was for this person. I'm not doing that. It's exhausting. It is exhausting. Did I answer that? That's good. I think that's where my vulnerability started to come out. ah my My book was the first. real expression of vulnerability, perseverance through severe dysfunction. And i it was a a way of me putting all those different parts of me, the aspects of me that would show up in a boardroom, that would show up in the hood, that would show up over here. like
00:23:21
Speaker
Fuck all that. I am all of those things and they're all in this book and you can get a piece of that. And so since that moment, it's been sharing all the different parts of my humanity so that the little kid from the hood growing up thinking that they have to change everything about them. that all the things that are are bad that they currently possess. No, like bring that with you. We need that uniqueness. We need your thoughts. We need your background. We need all of that part to to be the best that we can be, to innovate, like you said, to be the the best capitalistic society, to be the most progress, whatever it is, like we need all those different parts. And so I'm glad to hear that that came out. And so I want you to tell the world about your book.
00:24:06
Speaker
So bomb to say it out loud because I say it vulnerable, but it's vulnerable. Yes. Yes. Vona rebel. Vona rebel. Let's tell me about Vona rebel. The Vona Rebel is me. There's a bit of video, I said, The Vona Rebel is here. If that could be my intro on a stage every time, I would love it because I am the epitome of The Vona Rebel. So I wrote a book with real testimonies and a real life, a person who has been judged, who started therapy at 14 years old in the 90s, where it was better. My grandmother, she's no longer here, but she told my friend,
00:24:47
Speaker
that I went to Juvie, that I went to Spofford. she told I just want to cry, because i'm not because she hurt me, but because that's how stigmatized getting help for our mind, body, and spirit is. And my grandmother, when I was a straight A student, i was I passed, while I was in a psych ward, I was doing my homework. I was one of the few kids finishing my and asking, can I get tests? There was no Zoom. There was no that freedom. this is I'm talking about 1993. 1993, 1994. Hip-hop is booming. Onyx is out. You know, time to get live. I wasn't getting live. I was crying. I was depressed. I was listening to Nirvana talking about, I feel you. I want to i want to i want to just die with you. Why am I leaning into death? And I'm keeping it real.
00:25:32
Speaker
That's why I i have overdosed eight times. Not because I was an at addict, because I tried to take my life. And the last time was right after I had a baby. And I was well. I was teaching the marriage of mind and body workshop. People were getting healed. But I was still living part-time vulnerable. I was part-time vulnerable, part-time strong black woman. And it was eating up my body. Still eating well, free of epilepsy, PTSD meds gone, awful meds telling the world, hating what I was feeling inside.
00:26:09
Speaker
Hating that I could not express myself without crying. Hating that someone's always telling me, lower your voice. And it just bothers me because I did a video once and I said, I'm outside. I said, oh, none of y'all can hear me? That's why New Yorkers are loud. It's not because we're ratchet and dusty. We live in a place with, there's not a time. Did you see all these houses in Atlanta? There's high rises. But when I was out to go park the car, there was no one outside at night. I'm loud. I'm bold. I'm courageous. But when they feel like I can be, it's like having pieces of my human body, like deciding for me if I should have a baby or people coming up to me saying, this is the vulnerable.
00:26:53
Speaker
you four kids youre gonna have more kids and they all girls? Not realizing that my children are not deaf, okay? That they're a human being standing here and they are free children. They are not your children who just gotta endure. My kids are not resilient, enduring hardships for for long periods of time with a smile. No, so I was just feeling like that everywhere I go, everywhere I go. What's that military say? Everywhere we go, people wanna know. who We are so we tell them this is the vulnerable the mother effing vulnerable you like it
00:27:29
Speaker
Do you not? I don't care. And that took so much courage. And every time I look at my little small black humans with uteruses in their bodies, I said, you will not hide who you are for some dusty person who does not even want to give you equity when we're in a country where we still have an $80,000 wage gap. Easy. University 2016, one of their um um statistics. It's the facts. You want me to fight and show up and it will not give me equity. You want me to change my hair. You you untwisting little girls' in locks while they play basketball and y'all want me to respect you and show up strong.
00:28:11
Speaker
They don't got no respect for me. This is me. I'm not I'm not talking about everyone I only could talk about myself and the little children I birthed on this earth to make sure they good you weren't making sure your kid get to Harvard I'm making sure my kid builds their own wealth That might look my goal every day to teach my daughters She's like, I need you to check in and check. I'm not checking in. We're not on a time schedule. We homeschool. I'm not checking in with you. I'm going to lay out what you need to do. And I'm going to teach you a skill that no institution will ever teach you, which is a be a self starter. And I'm going to teach it to you while you're young so that you can take pride in getting up and doing what you want to do.
00:28:48
Speaker
I can't give you everything. I'm a mere human, but I can give you skills that no matter what academics, no matter what career choice, that's the vulnerable. And that's what I want other people to do. Wake up and be well so I could walk into these offices and not deal with some grumpy people who are miserable. And the vulnerable is telling you, Wellness does not eat well, exercise, and put a smile on your face. Wellness is saying, I don't want to exercise today. And I'm not. And I'm not going to die. My book is anti-fear. Fear-based solutions impact your nervous system and endocrine system at a detrimental level. You told my head, why don't you ask your body how you feel when you click on a vegan video and they go, oh, you know you're calling about to die. I know y'all don't know this yet because y'all behind.
00:29:36
Speaker
And that stress is what's going to kill you. Interesting. What's happened in that first 10 seconds of what you're watching on Facebook? What is your nervous system doing? Fight or fight, cortisol. yeah break All of that down in the book. I'm talking about science in this book. The science of vulnerability. and i what's the piece but i didn't put I'm a chef, but I i didn't put just food. I put my homemade laundry detergent. You want to be healthy. Watch what's going on in your pores. It's the largest organ on your body is your skin that we take advantage of. and We put all these perfumes and dyes and colors and this and chemicals. Who can afford an organic chemical free shirt? You can't.
00:30:15
Speaker
right But that's why I go to thrift shops and he's a a eighty eighth street in Street and First Avenue where they donate sustainable clothes. You know what I'm saying? Like, you've got to do what you have to do without shame and and still look beautiful and show up as yourself. But knowing that what I'm navigating is navigating my long-term health. I'm not navigating how to survive on this earth. I'm navigating my long-term health so I can be thrive out loud. I could show what thriving looks like. Yes, I love that. I love that so much. Tell me about the... Buy book, y'all. If y'all can't tell, like there is so much knowledge. Where does that knowledge come from? Life experience. So I say the blessing that I thought cursed me was was being institutionalized by a nurse at Union Hospital that is closed down right now at 15 years old. And she she was evaluating my father, my my my bonus dad, that I was pregnant. I was throwing up. I was bulimic. I wasn't bulimic. I didn't have to i didn't want to be skinny.
00:31:14
Speaker
because I wasn't in, but I saw the girl on Tracy Gold or something. She had bulimia. She gave an excerpt on, like they, they stopped and paused the show on Growing Pains and did an episode, but she was with the dark, the dark place I was in, like a Scorpio. This is what I did. She was given a testimony of not being bulimic, but what all I remember her saying When I throw up, I feel like I'm releasing all the trauma, like all, she wasn't using the words trauma back then, but I'm releasing. it So I started throwing up, making myself throw up and and and and only someone with an actual degree. Okay. And that's why we need to go to people who specialize in this. could help me and navigate that that's what I was doing. My parents couldn't, oh, you want attention. And and the nurse said, and um my mom got there late, different kind of personality than my bonus dad. And so she just like, she just wants attention. And the nurse was like, well, now you finalize it. I have to hospitalize her because if your kid has to harm thems themselves to get attention, then there is something missing in your house.
00:32:16
Speaker
And I had never heard it said like that. And my feeling, you need attention was an insult. Right. It was something that you did wrong. Not, hey, look, give me the attention then. I need the attention. I'm a kid. You're not noticing me. And it wasn't negative. So that was where I realized I can have happiness. i can like
00:32:48
Speaker
I was a kid in an environment that in no way empowered me to love myself. It empowered me to work hard and show off and blow up and swing my hand and get an attitude.
00:33:08
Speaker
I'm going to pause there. I felt that. I felt that a lot because in my healing journey, the the biggest thing that I have learned is that I have. carries so much self-loathing throughout my entire life. My self-loathing has been applauded by society because my responses to my trauma were work hard, were to go nonstop, were to push myself beyond limits that ultimately led me to the worst mental health in my life. And it
00:33:43
Speaker
There's so many people who suffer in that way and suffer in silence because the world keeps patting them on the back and they keep getting their next achievement. But it's all screaming out for love. And the love starts with self. We need to be taught how to love love ourselves. And I love that you are raising for beautiful girls and you're teaching them that. What do they mean to you? What do your girls mean to you? who
00:34:14
Speaker
um There are definitely what not what I live for because like I said, I have definitely laid next to my baby and took a bottle of pills because i've therapy always taught me from a young age, you have to love yourself. You cannot live for no one else. So I never adopted that as a mother and I became a mother and a different kind of mother that people were looking at like, what? Because I had to put myself first. So what they mean to me is an opportunity. to impact humans. Like I was graced with a chance not to boss, control, rule over, but to be a guide. Like God trusted me, the person that at my dad's who recently passed away suddenly, Carlos Silva, I just give you a shout out to my father, great father. um
00:35:09
Speaker
Yes, so my daughters,
00:35:13
Speaker
I'm not gonna get into my dad. My daughters are my opportunity to see a human, a black human with a uterus be free. God gave me this opportunity that my dad said on his 60th birthday, when you didn't know because you were a child. But my aunt my my family, my my wife, my brothers, your kid is going to be dead by the time she's 40. Your kid is not going to make it. Your daughter is not going to make it. We know she got a good job. I always have my own apartment.
00:35:50
Speaker
i I excelled at everything I did, but all they could see was my expression of my emotions. Y'all cannot do that to me. I will run away. I will run away. And I was a runaway. I will run away. You will not hurt me. therapy taught me I have rights as a teenager. You have rights in a time where we still didn't have no rights. Kids did not have no rights. and i I saw this man crying at his dinner and my siblings are all looking and he's like, you turn 40 next month. You hear me? You have a small business. You chose to use your skills to help people. He started, and my dad started crying. You know, my dad, my dad is not no crying man. You know what I'm saying? Like that's him. And so I was crying. He was crying and I want that. And that day I knew I was a mother.
00:36:35
Speaker
I was already 40. That means I was already, a my daughter was probably like eight. I was already like a mother for eight years. And that was the first time I i knew what being a mom, a parent was. Because that I never knew my dad was hurting. Because they never shared that it hurt them. when i My mom would be like, well, you know when people die, they they get over them in about a few months. So keep trying to hurt yourself. And I love my mom. My mom also taught me And when I got divorced, my mom's the only person who had my kids. You better bring them kids and because it was about work. I couldn't say, mom, watch my kids so I can go on a date. No. I got three contracts. Bring them kids in my house. And you dare not work because you've got a divorce. like That was energy that I don't want to project to my children.
00:37:20
Speaker
I wanted to work hard because you found something you love and you want to really like get to the root and break down the biology of it, the the ecosystem. You want to change the ecosystem of a workspace or whatever it is what you do. That's when you put effort. i I want to give them that freedom. And every time I see them and I tell my daughter, it's like, you know, you're in a bad mood and it's hurting me. Maybe you should stay in your room. I could never say nothing like that. And then I would look at her. At first, I'm like, I don't know what to risk. I don't always know the answer. I was beat up. I'm still learning with a 12-year-old. Oh, this is only 12. I'm 45, but I only have a 12-year-old. This is a new job for me. So in those moments when I don't know what to say and my emotions want to be like, I know you better get the hell out of my face. I say nothing. yeah Because I don't have the words. I say nothing. And I just nod my head and close my door.
00:38:14
Speaker
And I pause because I do rewind. I'm like, I'm sick of this. You're not cleaning. I'm screaming. And that's me being vulnerable. But my daughter also has the right that that's too much for me. It's too much. I don't know how we're going to work this out, but it's too much for me. What am I saying? I'm loud. but I probably do sometimes, but I love that they can come back. But one time, I'm an elevator, and I'm stressed. Dad canceled. I'm going back up the stairs. Like, I'm acting like they're not there. Like, they're not feeling my stress. I'm just, all they look like is this. They don't know what's going on. And then, in grace, my tourist child, this is how you're going to act. Every time daddy gets mad, we're going to have to deal with this. In the elevator, yelling at me.
00:39:02
Speaker
yeah and I was like, I'm going to go back to therapy. I went back to therapy. i'm still i go yeah every week I went back to therapy because I i ah could not, at the same time, like I tell mothers, yeah, my daughter's bold, but I could not give her the mom she needed. I could not at that moment. knowing that somebody, I had all the emotions, all the judges, like how dare you get to have freedom and I can't. Like how dare society take it easy on you all. My dad never had it easy. His mom said, you better go get your kid. Like he didn't have it easy. he He's proud of that. I don't care how crazy your ex is. Go get your kid. Like everyone, but they I had to say, everyone don't have that. And i I'm tired. I was tired. Like I'm tired of being emotionally intelligent for everyone else and nobody is for me.
00:39:50
Speaker
ah Now my kids is mad at me, too. What do you do? You pause. You pause and reflect. And that is so often in the book I have in paragraphs. Please don't read no more. Pause and reflect. And those are real-life moments. I had to go in the house. And I was mad that I had to be a ah grown-behind woman and not throw a tantrum in front of my children. And these tantrums are beautiful. But sometimes kids don't need to see them. And it's OK. You know what I mean? They don't need to see that. But I'm not telling you not to have one. That's the difference between this generation and the last. Have your tantrum because sometimes I was jogging one day.
00:40:26
Speaker
I'm in Prospect Park. I'm talking about I threw up and it was just like, like when kids are sick and it just shoots out their mouth and you're like, wait a minute. Where did I come from? It happened to me. And the lady I'm jogging and I'm like, I got to get out of the city. Everyone's looking like scared of me instead of no one asked me if I was okay. No, right I get off the grass. This lady's like, oh, with her dog. And then she sees me and she's like, looking at me crazy you acting you try to give an illusion that you're a comforting loving person but a human i was cool i mean hysterical yeah like it was and so i just sat in my
00:41:02
Speaker
I sat in my squat position in that natural mammalian form, our first heritage of how we used to sit. I sat in that form and contacted my inner child. I sat in the child at Bo Elena. That's the name of the girl in the book, Elena. My name is Marilyn Elena. And my father's sister name is Marilyn. He has one sister. So he named me after her. Her name is Marilyn Elena. So my mom decided that I needed my own identity. And so she called me Elena. So no one in my family calls me Marilyn. So when they read the book, they will definitely see Elena and Elena and Marilyn are kind of different. Elena was was fighting everyone. So I figured I would change the Marilyn to be palatable for the world.
00:41:42
Speaker
And now I'm like, no, Marilyn is necessary because Marilyn has is is as a mature, emotionally intelligent human being. But Elena is quite necessary because Elena knows how to say no. Marilyn knows how to say no. That's why Marilyn is. Yeah. Elena knows how to say no. And that's the inner child. we so like The inner child is like, oh, that's my my dark. Your inner child is quite good. Humans are beautiful. Very good. Children are fine. We are not fine. We're stealing toxins in them. We're putting a device on their lap. We're giving them high fructose corn syrup. We're giving them frosting flakes. They're not asking you for that. Oh, my kids love that. No, they don't. I think that justice system does not want frosting flakes. So that's just... Their big buds learned to love that because you gave it to them when they were infants. That's why they want it. Yeah. Oh, man. that's I want to hear from your perspective what it is that you believe is your superpower.
00:42:41
Speaker
Love. Love. God can trust me. And I'm gonna just username God. God can trust me. God can trust me. You know why? Because I operate out of love. And I'm trying to tell people if your vessel it's not trustworthy and it's filled with just you, you cannot be used. And I'm talking about, it doesn't have to be religious. I'm talking about as a public speaker, you need to sit down. If that voice is your intellect and your skills and you don't rest in your vulnerable frequencies, if you don't rest in that nervous system that's jumping you to talk about a something else, if you don't honor that gut when you're on that stage and switch up a little bit and give them what the spirit, what energy is calling that's in that room and we're not connecting with people,
00:43:29
Speaker
What are we doing? That's my superpower. I connect. I'm here in Atlanta, and I have some bully. Like, you're taking a bus. You're struggling. Yeah, boo. I got four kids. I live in a three-barrel apartment in Brooklyn. Can you donate cash app? I send the cash app in my PayPal. So you want to send me some money so I can take a plane back home? I'm going to get on the bus. You know why? Because you JPEG-ing it up, thinking that's all your sales is coming from that. I met about six women. I made three sales in the room. It's not about the sales, because it's a book. my book costs $20, I'm getting $12 a book. You know how this go, you know what I'm saying? It ain't the book. When that book opens up and somebody's lap and a black woman gets to sit there and dive deep in some good loving moment and she saw me for real, not on a JPEG, my perfect life. She saw me for real, she felt like that and she hugged me.
00:44:16
Speaker
That book is gonna hit her different. That's why um I got on a bus for 20 hours It came down here and I haven't stopped moving after I get off this podcast I'm going to another networking event and I'm gonna meet more people and they gonna feel heartbeats I'm they gonna this matters get back when people bully me online I go I say hey y'all Go get some heartbeats today. Leave those J-sags alone. I know, I know, I'm struggling getting hugs and stuff. It's a struggle out here for us hug errors, for us kidding. You want a kiss? I know you do. You must. Go get a hug. That's serious. And that's my superpower. I connect with you. That's beautiful. Yeah. When was the last time you gave yourself a hug?
00:45:02
Speaker
a Yesterday, I had a full-blown panic attack. I'm staying with someone who's staying with her nephew and they have their own life there. That was very challenging for me. I'm a definite New Yorker and I was taught to behave in people's spaces. So um i I got out the house, and it's not nothing negative, but it's just me adjusting as a spiritual being. I have surrendered. I am the vulnerable. So any room I walk into, I do have to cleanse myself to be prepared not to be empathic, not to be pulling in energy. I don't need to do that, because it does impact me. And I don't have an armor bearer. I don't got a crew like, eh, let me anoint you, so I cold my boot. like I'm dying. I'm going to just sit in the car and cry and coddle in the car. He's like, how about you just start typing in the maps? Where are you going? Literally. You got to find new people. I wrote this.
00:46:00
Speaker
when you are at your heart that's having those hard days and you you you progress you know don't call the people gonna be like oh i thought you better you you you still doing that don't call them you call the real ones and i call he's like okay so you're putting in the address for the map where you going next i'll say what yeah just open up you me you got you know just put the phone up put on speaker go ahead put it on speaker but to have What's the What's the address? It's soft in his voice. And I'm just like, but what if I, and I'm probably, and it's feels, but this is, uh-huh, because you're doing it. And they're bothering me on them. They were really, those things are mean to say to somebody. And I just like, why do you want to be mean? And you want me to admire you?
00:46:44
Speaker
I'm not impressed. I lived in New York my whole life and everyone trying to be something that they're not. it It doesn't, things, shiny things do not impress me. I live in a place of artificial, but I lived in the Bronx, so we were not artificial. Realness was taught. And you had if you look dumb, you look dumb, but you had to keep it real. You know what I mean? and that I'm just going to say, like I won't be impressed by you. I'm impressed by integrity. I'm impressed by people who you don't have to text to be able to call them. I don't care about how modern y'all got. I don't want to get modern with you in those aspects where I lose human connection because I know myself. I know not because I'm better. I know my history with depression. I know my history with anxiety. I need to be with people, yo. I need love, yo. I need hugs. I need a man. I love me some men.
00:47:34
Speaker
I need a healthy, nurturing man that I could lay with and it's not about just sex. But I can like, like I can't breathe. like I tell this example of running a bar in a village, one of my first actual spaces I owned and partnered with a horrible person because I wasn't vulnerable or using my gut and honoring my gut at all. Just honoring my cash, New York money. And I would see them come in, you know, and out at night when i when i we were closed, I would see this white women coming from work, corporate, just get belligerent, people get belligerent in bars and you have to like check them, getting on drugs, doing drugs, it's the village, right?
00:48:14
Speaker
but I would see their men, all they peoples, like, oh my God, you're such a kind, but then pick them up and throw them over their shoulder. And then other friends are cleaning up, picking up. I'm not saying, I'm not telling, because I get attacked, I'm not judging my people, but I ain't going to sit here and speak a fictitious lie because we don't want no one to know that we struggling. They see it. We in the bar. I ah rarely, first of all, I have to say, black women don't even allow themselves to get belligerent like that. Those corporate women coming in there want to let their hair down. They can't. Because we're watching all the time. No one watching her, right? So I've watched them do get drunk. And they're like, friends, like, come on, girl. No one's holding their hand. Oh, my god. This is why you shouldn't drink. They're getting yelled at. They both they both got yelled at, but no one got. We don't get carried.
00:49:03
Speaker
I've seen a woman with a, she was stumbling. I can't forget this. It was in my head because I grew up with men who took care of me. So in my cousins, my age group, we, it was all boys. And I was the only girl. The one above me, the girls above me were four years. So I was corny at 13. They didn't want nothing to do with me. So I had boys and made fun of and freckle face and all this stuff, but they love me. My boy cousins love, my male cousins love me. And it was a different kind of love that I still need right now. So when I see that happening, I don't like it. And it's weird to me. Seeing her, he's like, yo, yo, yo, come on. I'm like, hold her hand. She's drunk. yeah take more She come on. So what? Yelling her tomorrow would give her grace. And I use that story to ask, to just put out there, is that your story? Are you doing that to someone else? That's why I use that.
00:49:53
Speaker
Because that is what I want to see. I want us all to have safe spaces. We do not. And that's why I wrote in the first, within those first few chapters, I said, what is, how could a woman who knows better sit around and choose isolation? Hmm, why are we not asking for help? Is it possibly because the safe spaces degrade us? Do we really have, are we really facilitating safe spaces for people to be vulnerable? If you are not doing that, then you have no right to tell someone to come. I have no right to tell someone to be communal if I know good and what. That's like me telling a kid in the South Bronx to go eat healthy when the corner store or the supermarket sells coconut oil for $18 and it's only eight ounces. What family of four is gonna do that?
00:50:40
Speaker
Right. Right. Right. But why would I lie to them and tell them to eat healthy that way? No, I'm going to say yeah talk to your local legislators, go to the community board meetings and tell them, why do you keep having toxins put in our neighborhood when you don't let them come to other neighborhoods? That's what I'm talking people. In that book, I said, I am tired of us. Excuse me. blaming our, so it's okay. I swear to God, there's not, there is not one real, if you really unaccountable as a black human being and you, ah maybe if you're in your 20, but if you like 35 and up and you are black and you grew up in this country, right? Just to say this, you have a higher level of accountability than anybody on this earth, even when they wanted to throw the word narcissist and all the, if you don't have severe, if you haven't been,
00:51:28
Speaker
traumatized to a level where accountability almost makes you angered, because no one was accountable for any of the actions done to you. I start reversing, why do you have narcissistic tendencies? I have to throw these words around. Maybe because nobody felt your pain. No one even acknowledged it. And like, we're not acknowledging that. I'm literally calling you a narcissist. I'm still not acknowledging. Right. Right. Right. I'm labeling you identified with what you are suffering from. How how are we gonna how do we thrive in these spaces? I just be trying to get to the root and you know this this i held a men's group called it's called the hem event healing healing and
00:52:08
Speaker
I don't want to mess with the acronym because it's a dope organization. I don't want to mess them up. But it's dope. It was called the HIM event. So I was one of the speakers. I did a mini workshop. And then I asked some of the men to stay and give me feedback. So four guys stayed. One of the men that stayed, like the younger one, he was 19, he was in the video. You can see him like looking at me and looking at the guy because of what the guy was saying. And the guy goes, he goes, you genuine. You genuine. But let me tell you this. That genuineness, people ain't going to like you. People do not like genuineness. And I was just, I'm listening because I'm like, he got a word for me. And he's like, don't let them discourage you. He's like, listen, let me tell you, you're getting to the root. You're being raw. People don't want to do that research. People don't want to go that hard. So here you come talking about, let's go deeper. No.
00:52:59
Speaker
and i That's vulnerable That's the Vona Rebel Workshop. I got to do a Vona Rebel Workshop with these men honored. I was honored, and this nonprofit gave me access to their clients. And all of them loved it, but each of those men that stayed after, they each had a different perspective. Young man said, I might have road rage. And now he's like, yo, I don't even be reading like that, son. Deacon, he's his man. He's like, Deacon, I'm about to get a book, yo. I'm about to get a book. I got road rage. And now when you did that thing that you did, I could think I could be like, ooh.
00:53:35
Speaker
Because I don't want to go to jail for road rage. I was ready to jump on my car. And he's like, I don't like how that makes me feel. I feel weak. He's like, I'm no lie. I feel weak when I get mad. I don't feel strong. And so when I heard him say that, he said, but I don't know what to do with that. What do I do with that? Like, who did he basically, who I talked to about that? Who do I go to? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. He said he was going to therapy. And I'm just sharing this, how such a small, my workshop was 30 minutes long. I'm trying to say, it's not about just buying my book. Y'all create your books. Y'all create your messages about vulnerability. It's not just about me. It's about look at what it did in such a small moment. Obviously, We're on to something, Reggie. Y'all need out there listening. Do it also. Because I just heard for another guy, he's more hipster. He's from Bushwick, a hipster cool with the locks. And it's just awesome. And he was just like, I'm going to hug and hug my girl good today. And I'm going to feel proud to hug on her. I'm going to hug on her real good. And I'm just like, I want to say compliments to her all day, but I'll be like, you sound like a sucker.
00:54:40
Speaker
Don't be complimenting her that much. He's like, I'm gonna just be complimenting her and I'm gonna just, um whatever he was saying. But I was listening to each one. Therapy. Ciao. Ain't nobody gonna like you. It's okay. Roll rage. Just all different aspects, but I just wanted to to put that out there. If I can do that, all of us can. We all can, yes. that That's so beautiful. And again, that's one of the reasons for this podcast is to give people that safe space to be able to share, to be able to open up and be vulnerable. And this last question is is something that is maybe difficult to answer, but out of all the things that you have going on in your life, from personal to professional, whatever you want to call it, what do you need help with today, Marilyn?
00:55:28
Speaker
Thank you. Not many people ask me that question.
00:55:37
Speaker
I still need help with trust. And my not having trust for people takes away my trust I have for myself.
00:55:48
Speaker
and um When you've been traumatized by the people closest to you, it trust is is challenging. When you've been assaulted sexually, and I say this openly because I want others to know if you have ever been sexually assaulted, um especially when you are a child, not especially, they all it's all harmful. When you feel like you have no freedom, that impacts your way of thinking, problem solving. It impacts your skill sets. It impacts how you show up when you are really confident and really believe in yourself. You could still feel these people deciding that they wanted a piece of you that you said no to.
00:56:31
Speaker
whether it was verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, abuse is abuse and people don't need to downplay any form of abuse. But sometimes in like How can I show up? Like, I feel like that book called The Body Keeps Score, like every brown child who's ever been traumatized, because we are being told that, oh, that will happen so that you can help others. All kind of sick stuff. I hear women come in my group hearing or end men saying or or being reminded
00:57:07
Speaker
that somehow that should be the feelings of that should have passed by now. How could someone violating you mentally or physically ever feel okay? And I still, at 45, bold, confident, I'm a kind of girl that if I was in a pick pin, I'll be asking for organics. I'll be rolling in my slot. Like, can I have organic greens though? Because I love myself. I love myself, I don't show up in confidence because of those moments. I'm like, what if someone feels it? How could a body that has been so scarred, like I used to cry, like, can I just come back and not have this body? I don't want this body. This body has too much. And as much as people say,
00:57:50
Speaker
It does not go away. My body still feels things that nobody can take. No man, no relationship, no job, no cash money. My kids can't take away. And I have to fight her and go outside and tell people that this is freedom. And that's what I need help with today. I need to keep trusting myself and trusting that that trauma does not own me anymore. It may be present and show up, show its face and peek in my house real quick, but it knows that I got security. I got cameras now, you know what I mean? And that's what I have to say. no old You know, girl, you got that, you got that, you got that um German Shepherd outside. They not coming in here. right ah bird You're protected.
00:58:40
Speaker
you know Because when that and that trauma happened, they broke in. They broke in and you had no control over it. But now, as you continue to heal, you have so much control and choice. If it's something you want to let back in so you can start working through that, you have that choice. If it's something that you don't want to, you have that choice. And so I will be sending you that, that lift up and so that that trust can be built. Cause I, I feel that, I feel that. And I, and to be hurt by those who are supposed to be there to protect you. And I don't use the word supposed too often, but there are people who are supposed to protect you for those people to be the harmful abusers.
00:59:27
Speaker
It's very, very difficult. So thank you for being so vulnerable. and We're going to we're going to close that with some breathing after we get off. But um yeah how can people reach you? Marilyn and Chef on all social media. Marilynandchef.com is my website. Take a look, look at some of the pictures, things I've done. you know um Marilyn at Marilyn and Chef. I'm putting it out there. It's my email. Reach out to me. Reach out to me. You know, you want me to come to or come on your podcast. You want to come to your school. You know, you want me to teach a workshop. You know, I have I also um offer spiritual guidance. I'm not some wild person. But when I say that, I'm talking about connecting to your spirit. Just know that any time you work with me or bring me somewhere, I'm connecting people to themselves. I am not teaching people to be like me. I am teaching people to be more like themselves. Yes. And where can people get the book?
01:00:28
Speaker
They can get the book on my, um it's not up on my website yet. I'm working on that. um But it is on my link tree on my Instagram. They can um order it. It is on Barnes and Nobles. You just have to type in. I'm not on Amazon because Amazon take all your money. I'm not trying to give up my money to know Amazon. So I am, i am ah Barnes and Nobles is the most popular one I could just say out on here. You go to Barnes and Noble, you type in the Bonnet Rebel. like V-U-L-N-E dash rebel by Marilyn Moore. And when you typed that in and y'all Google it first, Google me. More you Google that title. You know, i'm I'm taking these SEO classes. keep Keep Google it. Marilyn, Marilyn, the chef, Google the Vona rebel and, um, and, and get my, get, get me popular on here, you know, but like get it get me the conversation started. Thank you. Absolutely. Absolutely. You've, you've blessed me today. You've given me tears that
01:01:23
Speaker
are healing and I'm going to go do some headstands and we're going to breathe a little bit. ah But Marilyn, with all the things that you could be doing and all the places that you could be, I appreciate you being here with me, embracing vulnerability. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for joining us for another powerful episode of Vulnerability Muscle. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights that resonate with you. If you're enjoying this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, there are a few ways you can support the podcast. First, make sure to hit that subscribe button so that you never miss an episode. If you've been moved by our conversations and the mission of redefining vulnerability, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback not only motivates us, but also helps others discover the podcast.
01:02:10
Speaker
Share your thoughts on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune in. And don't forget to spread the word. Follow us on Instagram at Vulnerability Muscle for updates. And you can connect me personally at Reggie D Ford on all platforms. Visit VulnerabilityMuscle.com for additional resources and upcoming episodes. And remember, embracing vulnerability is strength. Thanks for being a part of the journey. Until next time, stay empowered, stay vulnerable, and keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.