Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
039 - Men Aren’t Supposed to Be Talking About This: Surviving CSA, Prison, and Suicidal Thoughts
16 Plays2 days ago
Trigger warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, and incarceration.
What happens when the pain of your past tries to define your future—but you refuse to let it? In this gripping and emotionally charged episode of Vulnerability Muscle, host Reggie D. Ford sits down with Daniel Westbrooks, a community leader whose life journey embodies resilience, redemption, and radical transparency.
Daniel opens up about surviving childhood sexual abuse, battling depression, addiction, incarceration, and the devastating loss of his younger brother to suicide. With raw honesty, he shares how he transformed from a traumatized child and justice-involved teen into a mental health advocate, youth mentor, and recovery specialist changing lives across juvenile centers, prisons, and hospitals.
This episode goes beyond trauma—it's a masterclass in courage. Daniel doesn’t just tell his story—he reclaims it, offering hope and healing to anyone who has ever felt voiceless, broken, or unseen. From the power of owning your pain to helping others find purpose in theirs, this conversation will leave you forever changed.
Contact Information:
Instagram: @daniel.westbrooks
Facebook: Daniel Westbrooks
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Vulnerability Muscle
00:00:01
Speaker
Let me tell you, bro, it's not easy. Yeah, for sure. Especially with people that look like us. We don't really talk about these things. yeah Yeah. That's amongst each other. True. I think my life is just like a testament. It's an example of, all right, you can go through it, but you can get over it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can still be whoever it is you want to be. Yeah. can believe.
00:00:22
Speaker
Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the inspiring podcast challenging norms and helping you redefine vulnerability as a strength. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle dives into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts.
00:00:40
Speaker
We explore the power of vulnerability and fostering meaningful connections. healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth. Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but good workouts often are.
00:00:54
Speaker
So join us and flex that vulnerability muscle. Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, an inspiring podcast helping you to redefine vulnerability as a strength, a strength that helps us connect, helps us heal, helps us grow.
Defining Vulnerability with Daniel Westbrooks
00:01:09
Speaker
Today we got my brother, Daniel Westbrooks. How you doing, man? I'm good, brother. How you doing? I'm doing well, man. I am excited to have this conversation because when I think of vulnerability muscle, when I think of strength through vulnerability, i think of you, I think of your story, I think of where you've been and and who you've become and who you're becoming as testament to that.
00:01:32
Speaker
And so i we're going to dive into a lot of the the depths, of the deepness of of what you have experienced as most as you want to share. But before we get started, I want to i want to start with a segment called What Comes to Mind.
00:01:46
Speaker
Okay. All right. so just first thing that comes to mind when you hear what I say, what comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability? Vulnerability, ah first thing come to mind is just openness, strength, allow yourself to be vulnerable yeah in front of, and courage.
00:02:07
Speaker
yeah Because who you being vulnerable you can't be vulnerable with yourself. If you're opening up to a crowd of people, whether be family or not, it takes courage. Speaking is what?
00:02:19
Speaker
One of the the top fears of the world. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking and then you speaking about ah delicate situations. Yeah. You know, so I like that. I like that. Openness, courage. Just good. i love it.
00:02:30
Speaker
um What is something you do to relax or ground yourself when you feel in stress, maybe even depressed? man it's uh pastor pastor jones i won't complain what is that my go-to song it's a song okay yeah just saying i won't complain i won't complain yeah lady starts out at the beginning of the song think you think you're having a bad day walk up and down those ah hallways and in the hospital just go pick one you know what i'm saying perspective yeah emergency department icu yeah you know
00:03:03
Speaker
those critical hallways. People going through it. People really having a bad day. That's my song. That's been my song for about four years now. Okay. And it helps shift mindset for you. Yeah. To put things in perspective. Okay.
00:03:18
Speaker
and then And then lastly, what is one of your favorite childhood memories? Favorite childhood memories? oh I would say playing basketball at Junior Pro. Yeah, who'd you for? Yeah, we had mean squad. I played at Maplewood Junior Pro. It was me, Jamal, Regison, Leroy Bluen, Matthew Hassel, Ralph, 615 Potatoes.
00:03:39
Speaker
ah My boy Nick, Dante Hines. Yeah, we was running stuff. Yeah, yeah. I ain't gonna lie, Antioch, Wolfpack, they used to kick our ass. But other than that, not only were we teammates, we also grew brotherhoods over the years. Rob Markman- Okay. Yeah. Ball was life for me at one point, for sure.
00:04:03
Speaker
When I think about some of my favorite childhood memories, it definitely surrounded basketball, football, and just being able to be a kid out there. right like like is it Growing up in neighborhoods like we grew up, like you didn't necessarily have that opportunity all the time to be a kid, but on ah on the court, on the field, it was like freedom.
00:04:22
Speaker
yeah It was freedom. yeah yeah Okay. so And you got into a league recently. I did. 35 and up league. Shout out Williamson County Rec Center for allowing us old heads to...
00:04:34
Speaker
uh bring back a passion and live out our dream yeah maybe we didn't get to fulfill you at our younger age look i have not touched a basketball seriously since 2016. because i that was when ruptured my achilles and and like so knock on because i know y'all old heads need to not do none of that move slow don't play defense none of that but uh man Stretch. Just yeah straight stretch. Two, three times a day. Jog. Stretch and jog. just yeah But, oh man, umm like your story is so vast, and there's so many different components to it. I want you to just take it and and like take us back. like like Tell us what's significant to you about you know your journey and where you started.
00:05:16
Speaker
All right. So we'll go back it's about five or six years old, right? Yeah.
00:05:24
Speaker
It's a blessing, I guess you could say, what happened to me, because I probably wouldn't be who I am today.
Impact of Childhood Trauma
00:05:30
Speaker
But, oh yeah, I started getting sexually molested when I was five, six years old, and that carried on for about, the time I was about 10 or 11, I think, something like that. So my childhood is really dark. I don't really remember a lot.
00:05:45
Speaker
But um i know that's my first time i ever, like, experiencing depression, being rebellious, suicidal, in and out of mental hospitals, on medication.
00:06:01
Speaker
Yeah, so it go back five years old for sure. I can't really remember when ah my parents discovered what was going on. And, you know, it came to an end. But then dealt with, you know, the back end of what come with, you know, being through something, going something traumatic like that.
00:06:17
Speaker
And so from there, man, it just... Start rollercoaster. Yeah. You know what saying? Yeah. It was, start getting in trouble, grades slipping. oh i don't know what the word is, I want to call it, but like trying to,
00:06:33
Speaker
Not being victimized, I don't want people to know what I went through and for me to feel weak. So I started to change into what you would call a character. Okay. Right. I grew up, shout out to my parents.
00:06:44
Speaker
I grew up in a nice two-parent household. Yeah. They tried to keep me away from the streets, did the best they can to raise me right and teach me things. oh Yeah, I did the complete opposite. You know, wanted to, I really wanted to be a gangster, man. Yeah.
00:07:02
Speaker
Like, I didn't want to be viewed as this person that went through this right here and now you this weak person or whatever, however you look at, not in a manly light.
00:07:13
Speaker
So, yeah. oh I just turned into a monster. Man, that's not the first time that i like on this podcast, actually have heard those words turned into a monster based off of childhood experiences that shaped a person, shaped you in the way that it did. And I would just want to give some space to, ah one, you jumping in the the vulnerability muscle deep with that and and and and telling us that like that's nothing light and i think for people who have experienced similar things like you said earlier like vulnerability to you meant courage and i think it takes tremendous courage to own that part of your story uh i and i know just from my own trauma and and there's a lot of shame attached to a lot of those things for
00:08:01
Speaker
for yeah for years for some, for lifetimes for some. And to be able to reclaim that story and be able to own it and share it in the way that you do is powerful. So, like, thank you for opening up in that way. Thank you for allowing me to do it. Yeah. And I'm going to say this. It didn't happen overnight.
00:08:17
Speaker
Right, right. what was that journey like? How's it So I did therapy as a kid. um I'm thankful for it, but I don't really feel like it helped me as it should because I wasn't,
00:08:30
Speaker
I wasn't going because of me. I was going because, you know, these were the doctors said I needed to do and my mom had said I needed to go. Right. But, um
00:08:40
Speaker
As like being older, I think I got the courage really. The first time I ever went to go speak at a school, it was at John Early. you know I had just started working with Robert Sherrill with Impact Youth Outreach. And we had like this coalition of other nonprofits and Ali Lifestyle being one of them. And he was like, bro, I want you to come over to the school and talk to the kids.
00:09:02
Speaker
I'm like, all right, cool. I'm to go over here and get to talking about jail and how made it out. But my story was still, I was fresh into this new role, right? Coming out of the streets. So I didn't really have like the, oh, this is what I'm doing now.
00:09:19
Speaker
After the streets, this is what I'm doing. I didn't have one of those stories. So what oh I had the clothing line, you know what saying? But it was still... Had your foot in and One foot in, one foot out, trying to get it you know situated, what I was going to Get established in my situation. Get established.
00:09:36
Speaker
And ah bro, I was in that cafeteria and I'll never forget. It was on full of little boys from kindergarten to I think the sixth grade maybe or fifth and sixth graders. I can't remember, but it just took me back to a place when I was that young and what I was going through.
00:09:52
Speaker
and I just started talking. And I was like, how many of y'all have been to juvenile? First time I ever went to juvenile, was in the second grade. Right?
Sharing Stories and Building Community
00:10:01
Speaker
oh In the second, hold up. Second grade. Second grade. Second grade. Seven, eight years old. Yeah. what what What could, what, how? Why would a second grader be put in juvenile? Still in.
00:10:16
Speaker
Were you taught anything? Then? Don't get cold. Exactly. Yeah, was like a young convict and trained, baby. It's amazing because a second grader, you still like you wanted something. You had a craving, you had a need probably, and and you went and did that. Instead of like the restorative route and teaching you and explaining, you were put in juvenile. like what What was that like?
00:10:41
Speaker
ah Scary a little bit, but then a part of me was like, yeah, this is it. Stripes. There you go, stripes. um I'm leaving my mark, making my marks or whatever the saying is. Yeah.
00:10:53
Speaker
Yeah, so it was like, all right, you know, you nervous because you always fear the unknown and you watch a lot of... TV shows and stuff, because me and my mom, we love Walker, Texas, Randy.
00:11:04
Speaker
What's the America's Most Wanted? yeah Stuff like that. Like, I've always been in the crime documentaries or shows. Yeah. And, ah you know, you hear stories about prison and jail. It's like, all right. Yeah.
00:11:16
Speaker
I don't know, am I about have to fight? some yeah and Not knowing like there's a process of intake and then your parents can come pick you up. so like You might not ever dress out and make to the back. Thank God I didn't make it the back. So I can't really say I had a real experience of being locked up, but I got arrested.
00:11:32
Speaker
yeah Yeah, you had to go through that process. And it's wild. So like you like going back a little bit, because you said like ah you had these these traumatic experiences and in the the sexual assault is one part of...
00:11:44
Speaker
probably more things in your life that were happening for you at the time. And In children, right, it shows up in behavior. Like we can't say, hey I need help because x y and Z happened and I'm feeling this, this, and that. We don't have that vocabulary or the development in our brain to say those things.
00:12:00
Speaker
And it came out in behavior. You didn't want to be looked at as weak. You didn't want to be judged by things that happened to you. And it came out in behavior. And at us as that blows my mind. It makes me angry as hell, honestly, that you were...
00:12:15
Speaker
place in Juvenile, but that wasn't the last time yeah that you had experience with the criminal justice system It wasn't. Yeah? Yeah. Talk about that. Okay. Can I finish? Yeah, yeah, please, point out please, me i please, please.
00:12:27
Speaker
What I was saying is when I saw those little kids in the school, it just reminded me and took me back to that place. So that's when I started opening up, mischievous about me being... locked up in second grade, me being sexually molested and abused as a child, right? And how I used to act out in class, getting in trouble, getting put out, getting suspended, right?
00:12:45
Speaker
And that's how, i don't know, it just, it wasn't planned. It just came out. And so um after the end of my ah speech or whatever with him, I had like three, four teachers come up to me. couple of them went through the same experience that I went through. And then there was a kid that was actually getting sexually oh penetrated because I've never been penetrated. It was just more on like the molestation side of things. But it was a kid in there that was actually going through that.
00:13:13
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And from that moment, I knew it was like, yeah, bro, you got say this more often because you don't know who needs to hear what you have to say, say and what you went through, right? Who's on the verge of the brink of committing suicide fifth grade because it happened. is' is It's happening early and early and in life.
00:13:28
Speaker
And so that's how it started. And then from there, like the feedback that I got, oh it just helped me boost my courage up to be able to go talk about it. And a lot of people didn't know that certain things happened to me. That ain't one of them.
00:13:42
Speaker
yeah They just know about me going to prison, coming out working with kids or whatever. But it's a little deeper than that. And so when they start hearing it, a lot of people, I'm getting DMs and messages from people across the world, like,
00:13:54
Speaker
I heard about this story because I did an interview with a National Public Radio. Yeah. And they put it out there. Wow. Yeah, it was like. Wow. That fueled the courage to keep on talking about it because I ain't the only one going through
Reclaiming Narratives and Empowerment
00:14:06
Speaker
it. True. True. True. And you're not. and And I don't know that the the details behind your experience, and I don't need to know the details behind your experience, but I too.
00:14:17
Speaker
ah as a child dealt with sexual assault in a different way. Like it was somebody that was close and and I thought because they were a woman that it was something to be proud of and like a badge of honor in a way.
00:14:37
Speaker
and And I didn't even consider that trauma for a long time until really reflecting on how that shaped The way that I thought, the way that I acted, the way that I, you know, just just developed along the way. And like, i it it wasn't until writing my book that that actually came out of me and saying, I talked to my wife about it, but but but writing my book to where I was like, oh, I'm owning this.
00:15:07
Speaker
and it and and its impact that it's had on my life. But it's not going to define me forever. It's not going to be a stain, but it is ah part of my story. Yeah, definitely.
00:15:21
Speaker
And sharing it, like like the empowerment that and i now get from my vulnerability and being able to share different parts of my story that um'm that I wasn't so proud of in the past,
00:15:32
Speaker
and being being able to share it now, it's changed my life. like the The vulnerability has literally changed my life. And so like thank you for being able to like share that with kids, especially, who are going through it. And I'm sure, like you said, the adults come up to you too, because people go through things that you never know.
00:15:49
Speaker
You never know. You can look at a person and be like, I never know what you what you're going through. And so, oh man, yeah, just keep going. like The journey, I'm loving hearing it. You too, bro. I see you all the time every time I see you. I'm going to say it one time for the camera, too. Bro, I appreciate you. You inspire me.
00:16:05
Speaker
right You motivate me to get out here and do it, to get out of here use my voice yeah on any platform, whether it be mine anybody else's, because I know we have something the world needs to hear. Definitely. It's a rush I get off of being able to help somebody start a healing recovery, right?
00:16:24
Speaker
Or be able to say, okay, I can... i can i can share my experiences with other people, right? And not be looked at a certain type of way. cause it's True. oh You know, you might get viewed by certain people in different lights. Oh, you let that, how you let that happen to you or whatever negative comes behind it, right? And you're like, oh well, I don't want to say anything because I'm afraid.
00:16:47
Speaker
Yeah. Like, let me help you. Yeah. Let me talk to that warrior inside of you and help you bring that up out of you. And so, like, I get a thrill off doing it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And you are saving lives. That is the crux of it.
00:17:03
Speaker
When you share your story, it helps somebody out there who's feeling alone, who may be feeling suicidal. like Man, if he can be in the position that he's in today through all he's gone through,
00:17:14
Speaker
And maybe it's ah it' a better day for me out there. And so, like, thank you. Thank you. you saved man Thank you too, brother. Thank you. Saving lives for You know, you're doing the same thing. yeah Yeah. is no Don't sleep on yourself. I appreciate that. Take it lightly. I appreciate the humbling. Let me tell you, bro, it's not easy. Yeah, for sure. Especially with people that look like us. We don't really talk about these things. Yeah. That's amongst each other. True.
00:17:39
Speaker
True. To talk about it on a platform that has a possibility of reaching people around the world and you putting your life out there. Yeah. um To take whatever backlash, criticism, or positivity that comes from it.
00:17:50
Speaker
Like, it take oh take a lot of character strength, bro. Definitely. Yeah, don't sleep on yourself. Appreciate it. You ready for bro. Yeah. That's something that, so when we first met, we met at the gym and ah i you the humbleness of of you like you, you came to me like as a man and it was like, I don't know you, i don't really know you like that, but I like the way that you carry yourself and like can we get coffee or something like that.
00:18:17
Speaker
And I thought i thought that was like that was impressive to me, you to come up to me and just say that. And like I ah knew little bit about you know your story through the folks that we know in common, but then like that's when i when we sat down, i was just like, damn, it's something special here.
00:18:34
Speaker
yeah And so like like you you've inspired me and continue to inspire me every time that you step out into your greatness. And so thank you for doing it. and um like for For somebody who
Guidance for the Youth and Goal Setting
00:18:47
Speaker
had... like ah Tell some of the story of of how you connect to the kids, because I think that is powerful because I have a totally different story and I connect the kids in a different way. But like you go in and and it's it's different, but it connects and it resonates. like What are you saying to the kids?
00:19:04
Speaker
ah
00:19:07
Speaker
First, like, bro, I am you. You are me, obviously. oh I started doing time before y'all were even thought about being born, before you were swimming in your daddy's sack. You know what I'm saying?
00:19:21
Speaker
oh But yeah, like I let them know, bro. like I come from where you come from. I've been through juvenile, different ah juvenile detention facilities, getting locked up at my senior year high school, gang banging, in and out the streets, of selling drugs.
00:19:38
Speaker
my I want them to know I'm just as relatable to you as your favorite rapper, if not more, because that's entertainment. I'm about to give you some real life game. Yeah. like You lived it. Help you avoid making some of the steps or taking the the pitfalls that I had to go through.
00:19:56
Speaker
Let me help carry out of this, pull you up real quick before you get deeper down in there. And so just being real with them and talking to them, being able to talk to their talk and not pacifying them.
00:20:07
Speaker
um like I always tell them, bro, I'm pat you on your back every time and clap for you, applaud for you when you're doing good. When you start fucking up, I'm going to get your chest. I don't care. I done been in the cell with them little dudes and everything. You talking while I'm talking, you must, all right, cool. Don't worry about it.
00:20:22
Speaker
That's your homeboy too. You ride with him? Come on, let's go. We'll go in there get in that cell. It might get physical for four to five minutes. It's over here. right, we finna hug. I'm not trying to hurt you, but I want you to understand.
00:20:36
Speaker
A lot of these kids are going through homicide charges and don't know what the future gonna hold for them. And going from juvenile to adult jail is gonna be a little different for you. yeah So if you disrespect officers there, oh yeah, it'll get physical real quick.
00:20:51
Speaker
It's gonna have, it's gonna be scary because they gonna come in there with mask on, ah what you call it, a little gas mask and the tactical gear on, and it's gonna scare the shit out of you. And it's not no, okay, I was just playing.
00:21:04
Speaker
yeah You about to get a reality. It's real. It's real. Definitely real. So just trying to um figure out how to translate whatever message is that I have on my mind at the time in a way where it resonates to them as a 16-year-old, 15-year-old, 13, 12-year-old can understand and comprehend that this is real life.
00:21:24
Speaker
Yeah. You know, I look at you like a baby. Yeah. But they look at you like a monster. Yeah. A threat to society. No matter what your age is, that's why you're getting charged as adult at 14, 15 years old. You see what I'm saying? So with your mental health advocacy, what have you learned in terms of how that 14, 15, 16 year old kid is in that cell or in that situation?
00:21:50
Speaker
charged for charge with murder, like what what have you learned about like the development or what drives somebody to that point? Or even through your own experience, like what have you learned and what can we do to to help prevent that?
00:22:05
Speaker
oh it's It started in the mind. oh Obviously, with all that time on your hands, you got all the time in the world to think yeah about what you could be doing right now, what you could have been what you could have did differently, um how much time you're going to get. That anxiety will drive you crazy. yeah Waiting months, sometime a year or years to go to court, not hearing from a lawyer, going to court, finally making it, in just to get ah another court date. Yeah.
00:22:34
Speaker
for six months away, it'll drive you crazy. And those walls, I tell people think outside the box and it sounds so cliche until you really put yourself inside this box and you have to read magazines or you have to read different books and dictionaries to actually take your mind, escape your reality, far as being inside this box, trapped inside of it, and getting institutionalized and becoming a product of the situation that you're in right now. You got to take your mind beyond this right here. Yeah. So, oh man, I always encourage him to read, look up words, um just try to discover all kind of information that you can. Like, find... Don't just do school. Do school, but, like, what ah what do you dream what what are your dreams? Yeah. Like, what are your goals? What are your aspirations out of in life?
00:23:24
Speaker
Yeah. And how do we... how do we take it to the next level? Like, amplify whatever it is you thinking, now we need to think outside the box again, because how do we make this bigger? You know I'm saying? Don't tell me you just want to play in the NFL. yeah Don't tell me you want to be a rapper. No, so what if the rapper gets shot knock on wood, and lose his voice box. What if you catch Achilles' heel or whatever injury you can catch while you're playing sports in high school and there go your college a career and let alone NFL or NBA career? right Who is this person outside of football?
00:24:00
Speaker
yeah Tell me what life after sports looks like for you. Yes, yes. You know what saying? So how do we prepare for this right here? So I try to get them – I want that mind to work, to think, you know what I'm saying? yeah Be bigger than what you see yourself right now. Rob Markman love that. Markman always believe in yourself. yeah You can do it, and that's like a part of my story.
00:24:19
Speaker
Rob Markman that being your mindset? like so Obviously, you had to sit down for some time and and and sit with your thoughts and and explore who you were, who you wanted to be.
00:24:30
Speaker
what like What was the mindset prior to that, and what would you say to the the junior, the sophomore, the freshman you compared that until to prevent that from happening when you were senior? Man, what if i no, I didn't always have this mindset.
00:24:43
Speaker
um I always wanted money, for sure. like oh My parents provided me with the things that I needed. um've Never got everything that I wanted, and I think it's a good thing now.
00:24:54
Speaker
And we can get into that later of with kids and entitlements. being We're rewarding poor behavior. Yeah. but oh Yeah, if I could tell my older self, I mean my younger self, what I know now, because I love basketball, but what does life look like if you get hurt or if basketball don't work? If, you know, anything, you can be in a car wreck and get hit by a drunk driver. It's not even your fault, right?
00:25:23
Speaker
Did God destine you or is your purpose to play basketball or was it, for you to learn everything about the game of basketball, to train people basketball, or to get into sports medicine.
00:25:36
Speaker
Translate it in some other way. Yeah. yeah Like, you're still going to make it to the NBA. You only can play as one physical body, but if you got 10 kids that you've trained and coached all from ah middle school, high school, college, and now in the league, you're there 10 times, right?
00:25:53
Speaker
Yeah. So you're still making it to the league. You probably still go to the games. yeah It just didn't look like how... you wanted it. right And why is that? Maybe because you never wrote it down as a goal. You wasn't specific with God when you was praying to him to ask him, God, I want to make it to the and NBA. well You didn't tell me what you wanted to do yeah yeah to get to the NBA. yeah right you want You might just want to be a janitor at the Bull Stadium, right the head janitor, making a lot of money. yeah But you didn't say that, yeah, no, I want to play. I want to win a few championships. I want to be the best player to ever step in the league. And then on top of that, the work that come with that goal. hurt You wrote that down, then you got to do the work. You got to put the work in. yeah um Man, look.
00:26:37
Speaker
Talk about that all day. like Only 3% Americans right now oh have a written goal down. You know what I'm saying? If you think about the numbers, 14% only... Only 14% of people have a goal in mind that they want to do.
00:26:52
Speaker
83% or 84% of people don't even know what they want to do wow without a goal. Wow. And less than 1% put the actual work in longer than before it makes sense yeah in the matter. so And if you're trying to separate, you you got to put that work in. Come on, man. There's somebody right now in the second, third grade training to become the next LeBron James. LeBron Joy. LeBron Joy. like a bigron LeBron Kobe Jr. So, man, if I could have that conversation with myself, that would that'd be like a perfect world. So that's why i enjoy doing these college readiness and career development courses.
00:27:30
Speaker
in college courses with these middle school kids. Yeah. Fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade. Yeah, yeah. Going into the juveniles having these conversations with them because I can't talk to the younger me. Wow. They're the younger me.
Therapy and Recovery
00:27:42
Speaker
Wow. you yeah have you ever Have you ever done any inner child work in therapy? Have you heard of that?
00:27:48
Speaker
No, I haven't. Okay. So it's something that has been a a form of therapy for me that I have embraced and loved. And so it is is is me talking to me.
00:28:00
Speaker
The younger version of me. yeah um Sometimes like reparenting is is what it may be referred to as or internal family systems, IFS. It's connecting to a part of you that is still emotionally trapped as a child.
00:28:17
Speaker
Maybe it's the five-year-old, eight-year-old, the 12-year-old, whatever it may be. and given that version of you through through a process, it's a process to build to it, but um all the words and comfort and support that they needed during those times.
00:28:33
Speaker
And so whether it be, you know, you scared, you you at home by yourself or whatever it is, like, what did that young version need to hear? And so I'm curious, like, if somebody is out there listening, they've experienced childhood sexual assault.
00:28:50
Speaker
They've experienced being hurt in some way by somebody else. And they didn't have somebody. They didn't have a big Daniel. They didn't have anybody in their life to come say something to them, to come save them.
00:29:04
Speaker
What would you say to that person? ah For one, it's not your fault. Everything's going to be all right. And kill the victim mentality. Let's not walk around with the victim mentality.
00:29:15
Speaker
Explain that.
00:29:18
Speaker
True enough, something happened to you, traumatic, and it hurt. But are you going to let this ruin you? Are you going to let this define you? Is this the person you want everybody to know you for this right here?
00:29:31
Speaker
Or are you going to overcome it? I don't want to say You're going to heal from No, you're going to overcome it and be victorious. you know Have that... Winner's mindset that no matter what happens to you, you can't be defeated.
00:29:45
Speaker
Yeah. So we're not going to let this tear you down. I hate that it happened to you, brother, but it might have been.
00:29:53
Speaker
destined or it might have been good for you to go through this right here yeah because god saw that you was a stronger one for it happened to and he knew that you would navigate through this right here and be able to sit in a chair one day and look somebody somebody in their face and tell them bro love you whatever happens so you kill the victim mentality you're winner you victorious yeah triumph over this situation right yes yeah That's beautiful. it's ah That's beautiful. And I ah hope that that reaches somebody who needs to hear it. I know it will. like That's just how it all works. like It's going to reach somebody who needs to hear that.
00:30:26
Speaker
And you've come out, like I mean, I've been so impressed by it. a how you serve and how you give back. What are some of the things that you're doing? You talked about a little bit, going into the juvenile detention centers and going into schools. Like, what what does that look like today? And what what are some other things that you're doing to give back?
00:30:45
Speaker
ah So... oh Like with juveniles going in and being able to mentor and teach, right? Being able to talk to them about real life situations and my experiences and oh not even, i don't talk to them, I talk with them.
00:31:03
Speaker
So I want to hear their perspective on stuff. I can't change nobody. but I can put something on your mind to help shift your perspective. right So some days it'll be um just us talking.
00:31:16
Speaker
Some days it'll be chess, it'll be spades, it'll be dominoes. And then some days we're going to get down and dive deep into it. what vision looks like for your life. Writing a mission statement for yourself.
00:31:29
Speaker
Dreaming, like what it is you want to do. Purpose, yeah what is your why? What's your reasoning? For who? right What are your strengths? Working around that. So it'll go, one day it might just be talking, one day it'll be teaching. right Same as with Dream Builders, with ah my guy Patrick Ralker going into these middle schools and doing the exact same thing.
00:31:51
Speaker
yeah You never know what what kind of situation are you're going walk in, so every day is different. nobody But just being able to have the opportunity to be there and be somebody that they can look up to, that's respectable, that's relatable, that's relevant to ah what they're going do.
00:32:07
Speaker
everything in their time, their era, right? You know, sometimes I have listen to a little bit. it's different. And figure out what's going on in their world so I can translate to them I can make reference to the YTB Flats, the NBA Young Boys, the Lil Durks, the Wanderrondos, you know, these little guys that they look up to. yeah You know what I'm saying? So just being able to connect with them on that level.
00:32:31
Speaker
So we got that going. Quick question. Are you big bro or you Unk? ah Big bro or Unk? He graduated to Unk yet? We're just going to say OG. OG, okay. We're going to say OG. I just wanted to see. Just say, what's up, OG? You got to say Unk, man.
00:32:47
Speaker
Big bro, yeah just say OG, man. OG, I'll be 40.
00:32:52
Speaker
It's matter months. yeah No, I didn't mean to cut you off. just wanted to see. Nah, it's Unk, definitely for sure. It's both, really. What's up, big bro? Kids, i when I first started doing this, they in their 20s now. college or whatever they doing in their 20s. It's, what's up, big bro? But then, you know, you got the younger generation up under them. They, what's up, Unk? What's Yeah, I think I reached unk status. Yeah, yeah, yeah. no yeah um and You had something else that you that you currently involved in that you wanted to speak to? yeah. Well, so, you know, I dealt with um addiction, struggled with addiction, or alcohol, drug pills to be more
00:33:33
Speaker
direct. Well, not direct. More specific. I'm sorry. Look, look, going on. I'm waking up. but Yeah, to be more specific, yeah, I struggled with pills, bro, um about seven years.
00:33:48
Speaker
Seven, eight years. ain know April the 9th, this year, bro. I'll be two years clean. You know what I'm Congratulations, bro. So ah I jumped into the recovery field in that world to help people that are struggling with alcoholism and drug and substance abuse yeah three years ago.
00:34:07
Speaker
Yeah. yeah That's beautiful. worked with a mental health company for about... five, six months. well Like all my clients and patients be, everybody has something mental that they dealing with, you know, some mental challenges. yeah And then on top of the drugs and alcohol, like, and just being able to relate to,
00:34:26
Speaker
these got ah guys and women too in this lane right here. Like, my life is an example of all that. Yeah. And so now, I work at St. Thomas, Ascension St. Thomas, and what I do is I sit with all the high-risk patients, the psych ward, the the psych patients, the you know, you got your 64-1, 64-4, safety, all that stuff. Like, I work with these guys and girls, women, and, um yeah, I just, like, I feel like my life was...
00:34:55
Speaker
meant to go through everything because it's a full circle moment. I'm able to be relatable in juveniles, in prisons, because I do a curriculum in prison too. right The women prison and a couple men in prisons. wow You know I'm saying? wow So we're in Metro, we're in juvenile, we're prisons. I'm in recovery houses. I still go do meetings here and there with them.
00:35:15
Speaker
My meetings look a little different cause I don't want it to be the traditional AA NA 12 step meeting. Right, right, right. It's got to be you. Because if it's not cool, nobody wants to do it. So I do that. And then at the hospital. So I think my life is just like a ah testament. it's an example of, all right, you can go through it, but you can get over it too. Yeah. Yeah. yeah You can still be whoever it is you want to be. yeah believe You and write again. Yeah. you You grow through what you go through. There you And you've done that. You've done that. You've taken pain.
00:35:47
Speaker
passion, purpose, power, peace. like You've done that many times in different areas,
Coping with Loss and Finding Purpose
00:35:52
Speaker
bro. like that It's so inspiring to see that you're still here. and like I know you mentioned like that like like suicide ideation has been a part your past and things like that. i wrote i wore the shirt just because I know that's a big big big passion point of yours. and Can i cut you off real real a quick? Yes.
00:36:09
Speaker
Thank you. I don't know if I ever thanked you last year, because we started the one year of, I mean, the the the suicide of prevention walk, bro. In honor my brother and my other loved ones that completed suicide, right?
00:36:24
Speaker
And your contribution was major to what you did to the organization and my family. And so on behalf of me and my family, bro, just want to thank you. yeah Publicly thank you, bro, for what you did, man. cause Thank you for the for the invitation and and the honor. like It was an honor of mine because I know just how important the the conversation is. I know important it is in your life and the work that you do.
00:36:49
Speaker
um I mean, you mentioned your brother and I see you got your brother on your necklace. Yeah, he in there. He up there, man. And... You want to shout him out? You want talk about him? Oh yeah, for Shout out to my brother, King Breeze, AKA Ryan.
00:37:02
Speaker
Willis, Lil Willis, Westbrook. What you talking about, Willis? um Yeah, man. That's my heart, bro.
00:37:10
Speaker
You ever had a ah baby brother? i think You probably understand it a little bit more. but
00:37:28
Speaker
Take your time, brother. Take your time, brother.
00:37:35
Speaker
If you ever had somebody that wanted to be just like you, you could do no wrong in their eyes, bro.
00:37:51
Speaker
and your number one supporter. Do whatever, like not just any endeavor I had, but while I was in prison, writing me, sending me money.
00:38:02
Speaker
When I got out, helping me throw away them big ass T-shirts and jeans I was wearing to, you know what I'm saying? Like, nah, bro, wear this right here.
00:38:13
Speaker
To just randomly leaving 20, 25 hours. Cause you know I'm struggling.
00:38:25
Speaker
It hurt. Because he got home. Yeah. Like, bro, I had to clean his brains up off my mama's kitchen floor. Right. And then he was an organ donor. So just going to the hospital, bro, just remember for a week straight seeing him like that, lifeless.
00:38:46
Speaker
Knowing, like, reality is about to sit in. ain't going to never see him no more.
00:38:58
Speaker
It hurt.
00:39:03
Speaker
But it would have been selfish because I seen him struggle and fight the illness that he had. Didn't even know that it was not curable until after he passed. So, you know, spending 12, 13 years trying to figure out what's going on and get him help and walking with him every step of the way. Like I never, I never left him. I never left his side, bro.
00:39:28
Speaker
Never looked at him different. And I never let nobody talk about him.
00:39:34
Speaker
They don't know. They don't know.
00:39:37
Speaker
So have been selfish for me to still want him here still suffering and dealing with what he was dealing with. And I find peace in knowing that he fought and gave life all he had, bro.
00:39:50
Speaker
And so I could live with that and just everything he taught me, because he was my little brother, but he was like way beyond me in age and wisdom. And I learned so much from him.
00:40:02
Speaker
yeah And I would do a disservice. if I died and I didn't let his spirit live through me and tell his story or everything he's taught me and worked so hard on getting me to where I am today, go to waste.
00:40:16
Speaker
And so I find strength in that, bro.
00:40:21
Speaker
Can I get a hug, bro? Yeah, man.
00:40:24
Speaker
man we went we went there hu we went
00:40:45
Speaker
We straight now. No more crying. I'm not doing it. Water, paper, towel. Woo. Yeah, bruh. So
00:40:57
Speaker
talking about it is healing. Therapy. Yeah. I'm going to say healing. It heals. It helps the process. It heals. You overcome whatever you're going through. But it hurt. I ain't gonna lie, bro. It hurt like shit because hes like things that I'm doing now, it's like he's not here The first person I would call with anything I got going on was my little brother.
00:41:15
Speaker
Whether it be good or bad. right I remember I touched my first brick. Bro. I was gonna take it back before that. I made like my first thousand dollars and I wanted him to know, like, we rich, bro. Like, we rich, what you want? We shopping, right? yeah We going to go get it. I was, you know, I was happy to be able to send this school with lunch money and buy him clothes or or, you know, it was hand-me-downs, but it was still fresh as fuck it's some shit I never wore. You know what I'm saying? It's just like, though that's my dog, man. and yeah um I got a lot of friends that became family and brothers to me, but...
00:41:49
Speaker
oh It's a different feeling. Like we came from the, we got a thing we say, bro sames sex sibling same same mama, same daddy. We come from the same sex. So in the same womb, right? Yeah. oh So yeah, we just, that that's my dude, man. Yeah.
00:42:08
Speaker
Like he just always wanted to play ball like me and like he, advanced further in basketball than me. And like I was just like the proudest dude ever coming home from prison. Man, it's beautiful. Seeing, actually being able see him play, because I left for freshman year high school.
00:42:22
Speaker
And you know, i call home, my friends, my cousin and stuff would tell me what he doing. My mama always, I got every stat from um his college career. Right. It's put up somewhere now, but my mom would send it to me all the time. send me pictures and stuff.
00:42:35
Speaker
But, oh you know, you can't send ah game footage. Right. So I didn't really understand what was going on. And we had a thing. Like, when I get out, bro, I'm still a big bro. Yeah. We don't play this. Like, you still can't fuck with me, for real.
00:42:49
Speaker
Yeah, man. Yeah. oh That didn't go too well. Short live. Like, we played a game of 36, and I think he allowed me to score two. just Wow. He put it on you.
00:43:00
Speaker
Bro.
00:43:03
Speaker
36 to two. And then when he showed me all the dunks that he could do, I was like, yeah this motherfucker like a real stunt. Shit, like I broke down on the court. I had like one of those, cause always say my son. It was like a proud father to son moment, man. He put you in your place now. dan So humble with it, he laughed. And that's one thing I loved about him, he was always humble. yeah like No matter how good he was. like um I think God knew what he was doing when he gave it to my brother instead of me. Because me, would've popped my shit. cra right I would've probably, would've gambled my gift. This is what I gambled my gift.
00:43:41
Speaker
And I've been talking for cash money, man. So yeah, he gave it to the right one. Man, that's good, man. Thank you for, highlighting him in that way, because think he is living on through you, through his legacy and the words and the impact that you have in this world. He'll never be forgotten. and and like i'm just i'm thankful one that you included me in that event like that was that was impactful for me like i cried later on that day and just like thinking about you and your family and getting to meet your mom and all of that and just knowing uh you know what you experienced and continue to on a daily because i'm i'm big bro of i got four siblings and just to um Imagine anything happening to one of my younger siblings.
00:44:34
Speaker
who i can't like I can't touch that. right and And man, like like what you said is like like when you when you speak it, it is healing.
00:44:45
Speaker
One thing I've been learning, I've been trying to understand, like, is this vulnerability? Is is is speaking the pain? Is is addressing it? Is that helping? And what I found is, like, you know, when you put attention to the pain, it increases it, right? Because, like, if you ignore the pain, you can, your pain receptors will stop, you know, drop.
00:45:05
Speaker
But when you pay attention to the pain, it's going to increase the pain, but it also increases pain. the ability to heal because like when those pain receptors hit, it's like, we need to go address. We need to address that. We need to go.
00:45:18
Speaker
And so the same for your physical pain, it's the same for your emotional pain too. And so when we're able to get it out, whether it's through writing, whether it's we you know you've been able to talk it and verbalize it or or in expressive ways like art and anything else,
00:45:35
Speaker
It does start to help heal those things. And you can start to ah reorganize that stuff in your mind and and and take the hurt and the pain and negativity away from it and try to find meaning out of And you've done a lot meaning finding.
Living Fully and Embracing Life's Journey
00:45:50
Speaker
You've done so much and you've helped so many people. and Man, I'm blessed that you are here today. i got i got I got a question. i got a couple. I got a couple of fill-in-the-blank questions and rapid response. But if you if you end up being not so rapid, that's A-OK. But the first one is ah I am living for blank.
00:46:15
Speaker
Answer now? Yeah. Oh, I'm living. I am living for... well for one, do is it just one person anything? Whatever you want. Oh, yeah, bet. So look, for one, I'm living for me. I'm living for um my family that's not able to tell their stories. I'm living for my brother. Then I have, I'm living for my big cousin, Phillip. Shout out to Tank. as he He introduced me to the game and then showed me a different way before he got killed a couple years ago.
00:46:40
Speaker
um I'm living for my parents. I'm living for my ancestors. I'm living for any kid out there right now that's scared to be vocal, that's going through whatever they're going through and lost.
00:46:51
Speaker
I'm living for all my partners, the ones I know and the ones I don't know that's incarcerated right now and lost and trying to figure it out. And to the ones that have never experienced life on this side of the fence again,
00:47:03
Speaker
oh I'm living for the walking dead. Right? Mm. Mm. God. Speak on that. The walking dead.
00:47:14
Speaker
So you got a lot of people soulless. You got a lot of people that are never... get out of prison. You got a lot of people trapped in they mind.
00:47:27
Speaker
Oh God. I had a client oh last Friday with autism. They can't talk. He can't comprehend.
00:47:37
Speaker
um it was hard to redirect him all night. oh Just seeing what he was going through, bro. like
00:47:47
Speaker
man I don't wanna say but like I just started thinking like things that he'll never be able to do. And he don't even know he missing it because he's never experienced it. ah You what I'm Like you've been living 19 years, bro, and just, I don't know what you going through in the mind. I don't wanna say he's living dead, but it's like,
00:48:03
Speaker
How alive are you though? And you're not even really, you'd never be capable to live life. Right? And there's a lot of people dealing with all kinds of issues, bro, that have never lived. They just, they just here existing.
00:48:17
Speaker
yeah And so when I say amongst the living dead, that's what I mean, bro. Like just a lost soul. yeah And I just, don't know, for me to go through so much to go through so many things, bro, and come out on top on the other side, on the lighter side.
00:48:38
Speaker
Um, I just feel like the poster child for a lot of trauma, right? My experiences in life, everything, I tell everybody, I think I was at um a school in Jackson and they asked me, like what's one of your best qualities?
00:48:55
Speaker
I was like, I'm unbreakable, bro. You know what I'm saying? I can't be broke. yeah You feel me? You taking my questions. That was my next question. But hey, answer it. I'm unbreakable. Yeah, bro. like That's probably my best quality.
00:49:08
Speaker
Yeah. The gift to listen, to learn, and not be broken, man. You can't break no matter what. You can't use my past against me yeah in no kind of way. You own that.
00:49:27
Speaker
That's what's up, bro. I got another one, fill in the blank, but um when I need inspiration, I turn to. oh
00:49:37
Speaker
Music.
00:49:40
Speaker
I think music and working out, this is my biggest, when I need that inspiration. Because if I'm just listening to music, I got different playlists for everything, right? I can just listen to certain music. And it takes, you know, you hear a song and it take you back to a time or make you think about certain things. And it's like, all right, cool.
00:50:01
Speaker
oh In the gym. I'm in the gym. I'm working out. Hopefully, I don't run into somebody. I know get to talking for 30, 40 minutes, and just killed a whole session. But sometimes, that's what I need, right? Yeah, that's true.
00:50:14
Speaker
I need to listen to that, because I'm like, um no talking in the gym. Yeah. Markman, so like, I mean, cause you know Quez, man, we it's been a couple times we been in there, we ain't seen each other. yeah Like my mom was to go do this today, but it's a reason I'm here and I needed to talk to bro. You know what saying? Cause we relate in a lot of different areas. Yeah. Rob Markman, Yeah, i need that. Cool.
00:50:35
Speaker
Yeah. I like that perspective. I'm gonna start talking. Sometimes it's cool. Yeah, you tell them, don't talk too much now. I'm trying to get in and get out, but no, appreciate that, man. Music and the gym and basketball. yeah Yeah. like we People I hoop with, I got a large demographic of friends that hoop with. You know what I'm saying? I got the overtired.
00:50:58
Speaker
You know I'm saying? like, picture that. Like, I'm real good friends with an ex-FBI agent. Wow. Right? Wow. Police officer and stuff like that. That's crazy. That's crazy. And, yeah, they look at me and be like, yeah, I never thought you did this. way I'm like, bro, I never would have thought you did that either. So it's just, I love life, man. Yes.
00:51:20
Speaker
I'm inspired by life itself. That's beautiful. You know, everything is an experience. It's a journey. It's not a one-day journey. It's just, it's it's a journey.
00:51:31
Speaker
I'm just grateful to be here, bro. Man, I'm grateful to have here. Talk about stories. I could have died, killed somebody. could have called gang green, getting stabbed in prison, right? I could have got my teeth knocked out. That's what I've been in. like I'm grateful, bro. You here? just I love life, man. Yeah, yes. Some people ain't able, man. You look up, eating child, and dude got like a whole hole in mouth. You see the back of his dope. Man, yeah.
00:51:57
Speaker
ah paul i had i had I had a young, one of my ah one of my young mentees, he was going through my Instagram. He's trying to throw shots. And he's just like, bro, every time I see you smiling ear to ear.
00:52:10
Speaker
And I was like, he's like, why you do that? And I was like, because I love life. yeah I love being here. And I'm going to show that. And it comes out through my smile. And so I'm glad that I'm grateful to be here. And I'm grateful that you're here. and Last question, there anything you want to leave the audience, leave somebody out there who needs to hear what you about to share with them?
00:52:30
Speaker
what what What would it be? there anything out there on your chest? oh
00:52:38
Speaker
life is a mission all right purpose purpose driven um gotta have vision for your life but the mission doesn't happen overnight um don't give up like a lot of people give up too quick don't give up man the journey to a thousand miles start with one step right just take it step by step and embrace everything you go through.
00:53:03
Speaker
right Because if God said, I have this for you, and if he told you everything you had to go through to get to it, you would redirect what your mission is, getting to that destination.
00:53:15
Speaker
So we embrace it. You know what I'm saying? Stop complaining. Figure out a solution to whatever problem it is and keep pushing. Like no matter what, life going to keep life and we got to keep living.
00:53:28
Speaker
Man, I love that. I love that. Man, Daniel, how can people reach you if they want to reach you oh I would do a Mike Jones and say 613. Nah, but ah ah Daniel Westbrook's on Facebook and Blueprint number two money on Instagram.
00:53:48
Speaker
I got to get to LinkedIn and Twitter and all that stuff. Shout out to my wife, my beautiful wife and my kids, but my wife's supposed to be my manager, my PR. um She was running my TikTok and I don't know what happened. She caught up with work, so I'm not going hold it against her. Yeah. But for now, Facebook and Instagram, if you type in my name, Daniel Westbrooks, I'm going to pop up. You will see me and my little brother on the profile picture. Yes, I love that, man. Daniel, I appreciate you. appreciate your time with all the things you could be doing, all the places you could be. i appreciate you being with me, embracing vulnerability, bro.
00:54:21
Speaker
Bro, I thank you for having me. Yes, sir. Thank you. God bless you for the work that you're doing, for your strength, for your courage to keep going, bro. Yes, sir. down When you told me your story, that cough was shinin', bro. It took everything in me to hold back them tears, man, like real talk, because I know what it's like to have to go through certain things and to make it to where you are right now, the battles get bigger.
00:54:41
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. Sell out. He doing this right here, but like, nah, bro. Yeah. Yeah, it take a lot. Man. I'm going to say this. so If y'all got to edit, you got to edit me, bro. Nah, keep it in there. Big nuts, man. It's the only way you going Surviving this game. You got to have big nuts, bro. And it take balls to do what you're doing. That's no homo shit or nothing. It's just some real shit. You know what I'm saying? It take a lot of courage. that We're going to put that on the front end of it. This ain't going to get edited out. It's on the front. If you can't define courage, young men, young leaders, young kings, it take big balls do this work, man.
00:55:14
Speaker
Hey, I love you, bro. I love you too, brother. Thank you for having me. Yes, sir. Y'all take care. Thank you for joining us in another episode of Vulnerability Muscle. If you've enjoyed these conversations around vulnerability, please consider leaving a review.
00:55:29
Speaker
Your feedback not only motivates us to continue to do the work that we do, but it allows other people to witness the power of vulnerability. Share your thoughts. on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, or wherever you're listening from.
00:55:45
Speaker
And don't forget to spread the word. You can follow us at vulnerabilitymuscle on Instagram and me personally at Reggie D. Ford across all platforms. Visit vulnerabilitymuscle.com for additional resources and support.
00:55:58
Speaker
And remember, embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. It is the source of your greatest strength. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but most workouts are. So keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.