Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
037 - Cutting Through the Bullsh*t: Scott Grace on Vulnerability, Music, and Mindful Masculinity
13 Plays5 days ago
“Being real with yourself—it may be hard, but it’s great for your health.” — Scott Grace
In this unforgettable episode of Vulnerability Muscle, host Reggie D. Ford sits down with the one-of-a-kind Scott Grace—poet, speaker, musician, and self-described "Spiritual Dr. Seuss." Through soul-stirring songs, radical honesty, and humor that disarms and heals, Scott invites listeners into a transformative dialogue on masculinity, vulnerability, emotional healing, and human connection.
Scott opens up about his journey from selling LSD and hiding behind “rusty walls of pride” to becoming a master of musical storytelling and emotional truth. With songs like “Teach Me How to Love” and spontaneous improvisations that will make you laugh, cry, and think, Scott redefines what it means to be masculine and emotionally whole.
The conversation dives deep into:
- The intersection of masculinity and vulnerability
- Why asking for help is a powerful act of courage
- How he uses music and humor to depolarize politics and spark connection
- His experience in Mexico and what he learned about peace, community, and presence
- The healing power of breathwork, mindfulness, and storytelling
- The journey of writing his book Mindful Masculinity and how it helped him heal his own wounds
Don’t miss Scott’s jaw-dropping live musical freestyle inspired by the episode’s theme: cutting through your own bullsh*t—a raw and beautiful performance you’ll want to replay.
This episode is more than a conversation. It’s an experience.
Listen if you're ready to:
- Rethink what strength and vulnerability truly mean
- Laugh and reflect through poetic truth-telling
- Be inspired to show up more honestly in your life
- Connect across difference with more compassion
Resources & Guest Contact Info:
Website: scottsongs.com
Book: Mindful Masculinity
YouTube: Scott Grace
Facebook: Scott K. Grace
Interested in collaborating, coaching, or social media help? Scott welcomes outreach!
Recommended
Transcript
Childhood Fishing Lessons: Pain and Mentorship
00:00:00
Speaker
My father took me on a fishing boat and I was really frustrated and felt really bad about myself because I wasn't catching fish. And then I accidentally got a hook in my finger when I was trying to put on bait. And then the captain came down from the cap and he He took it out.
00:00:18
Speaker
It was very painful and very scary. But when he put the bandaid on and he said, here, let me show you how, and he taught me how to fish. It sort of outlined for me the symbiotic relationship between pain, asking for help and receiving mentorship, receiving a blessing.
Introducing 'Vulnerability Muscle': Embracing Strength in Vulnerability
00:00:37
Speaker
Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the inspiring podcast challenging norms and helping you redefine vulnerability as a strength. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle dives into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts.
00:00:55
Speaker
We explore the power of vulnerability and fostering meaningful connections. healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth. Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but good workouts often are.
00:01:10
Speaker
So join us and flex that vulnerability muscle. Welcome to the vulnerability muscle. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. I have an amazing guest today who is a multi-talented person that is going to entertain and also just extend so much of his knowledge and wisdom around vulnerability, around masculinity.
00:01:33
Speaker
This is Scott Grace. Scott, how is it going, my buddy? I'm freaking very excited to be with you, Reggie. It's such a profoundly wonderful excuse to connect with you, your audience, and myself.
00:01:49
Speaker
Oh, man, Scott, I, I look, I usually have some notes pulled up and I'm just going to drop those for this episode because the energy that I get from you is that this is going to, um we're going to guide it and it's going to go to where it needs to go and it's going to reach who it needs to reach in a beautiful way. And, but I do want to start kind of similarly.
00:02:13
Speaker
um but first, before I get to that, I want to ask, how's your heart today? Oh,
00:02:20
Speaker
About 20% anxiety, 20% grief, and the rest of it is joy and gratitude.
00:02:34
Speaker
I like that. i like that a lot. Oh, man. scott if for For the listeners, Scott is... is The male Brene Brown. he is He is an embodiment of Robin Williams. He is ah so much. he can He can play music. He can rap. He can do poetry. He's written books.
00:02:55
Speaker
He shared the stage with Deepak Chopra. Like this man has has seen life. He's lived life. And I'm so excited to learn more about your story. But before we get into that, let's do what I call what comes to mind.
Scott Grace on Manipulating Vulnerability and Self-awareness
00:03:11
Speaker
Just three simple, I think, questions. And you tell me the first thing that you can think of, okay? What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability?
00:03:24
Speaker
Shame, excitement, fear, and ooh, I think I can get lucky because I have that down.
00:03:39
Speaker
like I can manipulate my way into a woman's heart and her pants because I know how to be vulnerable. wow Which is so interesting because I think some people would see it as the opposite. I actually have interviewed someone who who thought that a man being vulnerable doesn't get in the girl's pants.
00:04:01
Speaker
Well, that's true too. But you just asked me what comes to my mind. And I just... ah Yeah, i so I did. I spent a lot of years um using my emotional transparency with an agenda, you know, to win over a ah woman usually, but also to win over an audience, to sell more books and CDs, you know.
00:04:29
Speaker
There's a part of me that is constantly twenty four seven trying to manipulate my way to get what I want. And so it just, but as as soon as I saw that vulnerability had a positive effect on people, I just added that to my manipulation tool bag.
00:04:47
Speaker
Wow. That is so honest. That is so honest. Thank you for sharing that. And I think that um if if more people were honest or even aware that we all may utilize some of those techniques at times.
00:05:02
Speaker
Marketing is is manipulation. Sales, there's manipulation. like There's so much of that because we understand psychology that makes people behave and act and react. and that is we We employed that every single day. so ooh ohh This is going to be good. this is gonna be good What do you do to calm yourself, center yourself, ground yourself if you're feeling stressed, kind of chaotic or overwhelmed.
Calming Techniques: The Power of Deep Breathing
00:05:30
Speaker
I breathe um slow, deep breaths. I hold it for four to seven seconds and then I release it very slowly.
00:05:42
Speaker
That's my meditation. That's what calms me down the fastest. If I can do it with my feet on the grass outside, that's even better. Yes. I love that. And the exhale, like if, if you know about the nervous system, it activates that parasympathetic.
00:05:59
Speaker
It slows and calms us down. And so the slow that exhale down is so important. I love it. And lastly, what is one of your favorite childhood memories?
00:06:11
Speaker
Favorite childhood memories.
00:06:16
Speaker
Uh,
00:06:19
Speaker
I was eight years old and my father took me on a fishing boat in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, New York. And everyone around me was catching fish. And I was really frustrated and felt really bad about myself because I wasn't catching fish.
00:06:35
Speaker
And then I accidentally got my a hook in in my finger when I was trying to put on bait and it was really painful and I screamed and the captain came down from the cat and he he took it out.
00:06:50
Speaker
It was very painful and very scary. But when he put the bandaid on, he said, how you doing, kid? And I said, I haven't got a vision.
00:07:01
Speaker
hey And he said, here, let me show you how. And he taught me how to fish. And I think that was just ah an incredible moment for me, beautiful moment. And it it sort of outlined for me that the symbiotic relationship between pain, asking for help and receiving mentorship, receiving a blessing.
00:07:26
Speaker
Wow. Wow. That is so powerful. Cause I think one of the things, when I think about vulnerability, I think about our desire or our our willingness or ability to even ask for help.
00:07:39
Speaker
I need help in some regard, some way. in And how that is looked down upon, but we all need help in ah in a way. Yeah. Wow. Including John Lennon, who often said that his favorite song that he ever wrote was Help, because he said it was really real, it was authentic, it was vulnerable.
00:08:01
Speaker
and And he always thought that that it should have been slower. Do do you know the song Help? I need somebody. Yeah. Not just anybody. Let's hear it. You're going to play it?
00:08:14
Speaker
Help. I need somebody. Not just anybody help. Yes. You know I need someone help. This is the slowness that he wanted.
00:08:28
Speaker
When I was younger, so much younger than today. I told y'all, y'all gonna get a treat. Never needed anybody's help in any way.
00:08:41
Speaker
But now those days are gone. I feel so insecure. Now I find I change my mind. Open up the door. And that's enough of that.
00:08:57
Speaker
That was beautiful. That was beautiful. oh my God, Scott. the context, the context makes everything. We're talking about vulnerability. We're talking about how difficult, how much courage it takes, especially for a man to ask for help.
00:09:12
Speaker
And you don't need to get a hook in your finger. I did yeah at age eight, but now I ask for help as often as possible. Yeah, definitely. Wow.
00:09:24
Speaker
And that hook in the finger, what a metaphor it could be in so many people's lives of when they ultimately embrace vulnerability to then ask for what they need. So I want listeners, if you're out there, what, what is that hook in your finger?
00:09:39
Speaker
Where is that in your life right now? Is it in work? Is it at home? Like, is it a relationship? But how can you use that to embrace vulnerability? Scott, I feel like I got to ask this question because I've heard it a couple of times. Are there chickens nearby? They're roosters.
00:09:57
Speaker
Roosters? Okay. Where are you located? I'm in central Mexico, a little town called Ajijic. Okay. Nice. You got to give me some journey because I feel like you're one of the most interesting people I've met and we just started talking. So get me from where where were you born?
00:10:17
Speaker
What was the journey like before and around that eight-year-old experience? And you know take me through the life. I was born in Brooklyn at a very young age
00:10:33
Speaker
yeah I would be rolling this whole time. oh I was raised to be intellectually superior, ah to have a lot on the ball,
00:10:46
Speaker
and to have myself together. Like the values to survive the streets of Brooklyn and my Brooklyn family, I needed to have a lot on the ball. And ah rather than grow up being tough, and I was a jock, I was i was definitely macho on um but um in sports, but i I was always skinny and I never felt like you know lifting weights or developing any talent for fighting.
00:11:13
Speaker
So what I did to survive is I developed a ah very razor sharp pointed sense of humor. And I use that to help me feel safe and and on to charm and manipulate at times.
00:11:31
Speaker
I've done all kinds of colorful things like I was in jail. Paint it for me. I was in jail once for a weekend. I was in jail a few times.
00:11:44
Speaker
um What landed you in jail? Oh, you know, well, I'll tell you what didn't land me in jail. selling Selling drugs. I never was arrested, but I did sell LSD in college in order to make enough money to buy this, to put myself through what really was the school that I was interested. So I dropped out of college when I made enough money selling LSD.
Rebirthing and Songwriting: A Heart-Opening Journey
00:12:11
Speaker
to go into this rebirthing school which was a a breathing technique that in the nineteen eighties was very just pioneering and now there's breathing techniques everywhere. But at that time it really changed my life.
00:12:26
Speaker
And it started the process of getting out of the head, ah which I had, you know, developed my left brain and all of my skills to manipulate. And then this deep breathing process opened my heart to what people call God. at the time I didn't even use that word.
00:12:49
Speaker
And still rarely do. Like, it's just such a it's such a misused word. In fact, I had been writing songs my whole life and usually they were funny, silly,
00:13:05
Speaker
I, you know, they got me in trouble. But after that rebirthing, that breathing exercise, actually wrote my first serious song.
00:13:17
Speaker
Okay. It was like a prayer. i want to wake up the morn. Know what I'm made of. Oh, great spirit, teach me.
00:13:33
Speaker
Teach me how to love. I want to hear the birds at dawn and know what they sing of.
00:13:56
Speaker
I know quite well just how to hide. Behind these rusty walls of pride. But now my heart is calling me to rise above.
00:14:13
Speaker
Teach me how to love. Teach me, teach me how to love.
00:14:35
Speaker
I've shined on just a chosen few who fit me like a glove.
00:14:54
Speaker
Teach me to shine on everyone, like the sun above.
00:15:24
Speaker
Could it be I'm safer here? I've asked a jury of my fears. I'd rather ask a dolphin or a dove.
00:15:39
Speaker
Teach me how love. Wow. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Thank you for that gift.
00:15:51
Speaker
So beautiful. And you wrote that after the breathing exercises that you were learning at that time and you discovered what you said you call God. 1982, 1983, something along those lines, yes.
00:16:08
Speaker
Wow. What does that song mean to you today? i was not born then. hey yeah All right. Well, I was, i am as i as I sing that song,
00:16:23
Speaker
um
00:16:26
Speaker
it puts me in beginner's mind. It puts me in Zen mind. It puts me in like my cup is empty. I don't know the first thing about love and whatever experiences that I've had that have built this story that I know something about love, that song helps me clean the slate, get humble and do the only thing that I can do when I realize how little I know, which is to ask to be filled.
00:17:04
Speaker
And just in the asking, I feel a softening of my heart. Wow. That is so powerful. you You had some beautiful lines like throughout the entire song, but something stood out a couple things stood out to me One being ah hiding behind these rusty walls of pride.
00:17:25
Speaker
yeah During that time, 1982, what were those rusty walls of pride? What did that look like in your life? How did that show up?
00:17:36
Speaker
i i I fancied myself an enigma. i I really liked being a mystery. I liked hiding, pretending, um and being hot shit.
00:17:52
Speaker
underneath my hot shit persona was a lot of insecurity and nobody was going to see that. Not at that time.
00:18:02
Speaker
Yeah. And that's a whole different era of masculinity of manhood. Like today, maybe be a little bit more accepted, but in that time I just totally different. So, wow.
00:18:15
Speaker
You had to do that to survive. Yeah. Yeah. And then I did a weekend workshop, uh, yeah It was called the Loving Relationships Training.
00:18:26
Speaker
And what one of the things I got from is tell the truth faster. Tell the truth, tell the truth. So I wrote this. I'm not going to the whole song, but a little ditty. I was one of these guys fully armored with lies.
00:18:40
Speaker
I always had a pocket full alibis till I started to see what it was doing to me, how it was burning a hole in my integrity.
00:18:50
Speaker
So I started coming out into some open space. Forgiving all my living with a poker face. Sometimes I slip, but I don't crack my whip.
00:19:02
Speaker
I acknowledge that I'm human and it's part of the trip. I keep putting out my truth. That's my truth. I keep on putting out my truth. That's my truth.
00:19:13
Speaker
I keep on putting it out, cause that's what life's about. It always is a blessing to be openly expressing my truth.
00:19:26
Speaker
That's good. That's good. people I like that. I like that get Get to the truth. I want to ask a question. like you you are ah You're so extremely talented. and you i think you see the world and connect the dots in different parts of of things that people may not see are related.
00:19:48
Speaker
and I'm curious. like Where does all of who you've become, where did that start? Like, when did you build the the the person who can entertain, the person who can laugh, the person who make make you laugh, the person who can do all of these things ah and not see, let me let me be more more um transparent with my question.
00:20:19
Speaker
I feel like you're distracting me from you.
00:20:23
Speaker
I want to see you.
00:20:26
Speaker
o ah When did you develop the ability to be so good at distracting me from seeing you?
00:20:37
Speaker
All right. Now, if you're asking me to to look at my past, you're not really asking to see me. Because my history is not who I am now.
00:20:49
Speaker
yeah so I'm confused by your question, Reggie. It it has a mixed message. And i'm yeah you know I'm like, let's get clear on what the question is. Do you really want a history lesson? Or do you want to feel me more right now?
00:21:03
Speaker
I want to, I want a history lesson, I think. And then we can get to you because what you, you are all of these things. And I'm not saying you haven't shown me you, but you, I want to, I want to, I want a history lesson, I think more so.
00:21:18
Speaker
Okay. If you look inside my history, you would see a very troubled teenager. You would see a lot of therapy, a lot of 12-step work. You'd see voice lessons, guitar lessons, violin lessons, comedy improv lessons, a lot of meditation and spiritual practices, lots of teachers and mentors along the way.
00:21:45
Speaker
you would see... like an endless, repetitive need to make myself wrong and to judge myself You would see that gradually my gifts started to peak through, even though my ego had this huge agenda, to make myself so wrong that I wouldn't really share my gifts.
Overcoming Shame: Sharing Music and Personal Growth
00:22:14
Speaker
You would see a time when I made my first recording, it was cassette. And people would put it on at parties. And i I just had to remember to breathe because I was so nervous about people's judgments.
00:22:26
Speaker
And I felt like my voice sucked and had no business recording music. So you'd see a lot of shame and a lot of breaking through over over many years. and And you wouldn't see one thing that defined my freedom or you wouldn't see one thing. It's just like, it's so gradual um you know, many broken hearts along the way, mostly mine. Wow. Yeah.
00:22:57
Speaker
And music, a constant companion. and All my ups and all my downs had a song that helped me heal. I would basically, you know, be my own therapist whenever I picked up the guitar.
00:23:12
Speaker
Yeah. Wow. I'm learning the guitar right now. I'm trying to learn the guitar right now. But i I would say music has been that companion for me as well throughout my entire life of writing, of of listening to other people's music and just connecting so deeply with words, with melodies, with sounds, with bass.
00:23:33
Speaker
And ah it Thank you. Thank you for sharing that piece because it helps me understand a little bit more. and And you are, oh my gosh, like the enigma that you spoke of. Like, I think like you're, you're just a brilliant person. Like when the world has genius, you have genius.
00:23:56
Speaker
And I hate that there was ever a moment in time where you were had a story or told or taught or shown that that genius wasn't inside of you. and But I'm glad to see it shining so vividly, so brightly today.
00:24:11
Speaker
And um my gosh, like it's it's remarkable. It's absolutely remarkable. where did Where did the transformation happen for you?
00:24:22
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Another question that's impossible to answer because of what I said, everything's been gradual. I haven't had, you know, one turnaround weekend.
00:24:35
Speaker
I didn't have an out of the body experience and came back a different person. So yeah let me ask you this then, because you talked about selling LSD. Did you ever try Of course.
00:24:48
Speaker
I had to sample the product. What was your experience with that? um Well, I've had hundreds and i would say a few were really, really bad.
00:25:00
Speaker
Some of them
00:25:05
Speaker
annoying, but okay. And the vast majority of them were like watching trailers for just how expansive my life was going to get, just how open and receptive my mind was going to be. In fact, there was one time I was tripping in Brooklyn, coming home from wherever, usually Greenwich Village. and And I was listening in my head to songs that were just being made up and
00:25:36
Speaker
They were based on the themes of the things I had been thinking about. And so I started to ask questions of the universe and receive answers as if it was like a Broadway show in my head.
00:25:52
Speaker
And that was a precursor to what I do on a daily basis now, crafting, creating, allowing songs for my own upliftment, but also for other people. Almost every day, I sing in front of an audience and create songs in the moment.
00:26:11
Speaker
In fact, i hope I hope that you allow me ah to do that. Give me a topic. Yeah. give Give me a first line and get me going. Oh, oh, that is that is, we're going to do that.
00:26:23
Speaker
That is going to be amazing. But before we do that, because cause I want to hear about your book and then um I want to get to that piece. I want to hear about your book, Mindful Masculinity. Tell me about what what prompted you to write that book, who that book is for and how can they benefit from it?
00:26:39
Speaker
Okay. Well, the book is for me. and what, what prompted to write it was that I needed a ah major healing of my masculinity and, ah It's what I do. i When I need a healing, i i I give to others what I most need to learn.
00:26:58
Speaker
I teach what I need to learn. so ah So many years I made myself wrong for being a soft male. I didn't know what really masculinity meant.
00:27:11
Speaker
All my ideas about masculinity came from movies and role models that are not so cool. So I had to clean the slate and start ah writing but almost like a new slate from a new ah empty sketch board.
00:27:29
Speaker
And all these stories and ideas from my life became my teaching tools. And I realized, oh, my God, have I learned a lot. And so as I wrote, it's really like a memoir in many ways. As I wrote, I learned and I and and i became more solid.
00:27:47
Speaker
And I realized that masculinity is not about my muscles or bravado. ah it It's more about, for me, it's taking action in the face of my fears.
00:28:01
Speaker
So it's about courage, not fearlessness, not pretending that I have it all together, but just raw courage to follow my heart. And face my demons, self-doubt, shame, really with that honesty. That that honesty is is is like a masculine knife. It cuts through my own bullshit.
00:28:21
Speaker
I love to call bullshit on myself. And that to me is what masculinity is about. And i wrote you know i wrote a book about it.
00:28:33
Speaker
Ooh, that's good. i you just That's the that's the the the theme of the song is is cutting through our bullshit. Because that's something that I think it's it's it's easier for me to see somebody else's bullshit or call somebody else out on their bullshit, but it's so much harder to turn that mirror at myself and say, hey, look yourself in the mirror.
00:28:56
Speaker
I have a line in a poem that I wrote. It's like, ah Be real with what you see in your reflection. You hate rejection, denial, criticism, and objection. You love the praise and the pleasure you get from external validation.
00:29:09
Speaker
you ah ah It's just, it's that's so real for me, right? I don't want to be criticized, rejected, or feel like I'm being denied. Right? But that is ah that that's not a ah du ah direct rejection of myself or who I am, but like I i'm fear it at times.
00:29:29
Speaker
And to look ourselves in the mirror and just be real. So let's let's make that the theme of the song of and give some people some inspiration around being real with themselves.
00:29:41
Speaker
Being real. with yourself let's go it may be hard but it's great for your health this guy grace let's go desire all kinds of wealth a maybe
00:29:59
Speaker
You want the validation everyone craves. You want forgiveness when you misbehave. Come on. Come on, baby. Admit it. You are human.
00:30:14
Speaker
Wow.
00:30:18
Speaker
Cut through your bullshit with a serrated knife.
00:30:39
Speaker
Pushing down your grace and style. Come on and let's cut it. Let's cut it. Let's go. First, you gotta smell it first and wipe it off your shoes.
00:30:57
Speaker
I'm gonna return to be in you Cut the bullshit All my life, all my days I was taught to go for the praise But I'm waking up from that nap I'm no longer hiding behind my old crap I am cutting the shit
00:31:29
Speaker
Let's go! oh my goodness. I can only imagine. Like, that just... You did that on the spot. Like, this was not prepared. This was not planned at all, y'all. Like, he just...
00:31:44
Speaker
He just did that. That is the this man's genius on the spot to be able to give. this That was a gift for me. That was a gift for me. Something that I wanted, I needed to hear, that I wanted to hear. And I'm sure a gift for so many others. And to know that you, this is you walking in your genius and doing this for so many people day in and day out.
00:32:08
Speaker
I cannot imagine the amount of lives that you've impacted over the course of your own life. Have you had any people have what would have been some of the feedback that you've gotten or some of the testimonials from the work that you've done? Because like, that's powerful, man.
00:32:27
Speaker
Well, um, little things like you saved my life. Uh, I was going to commit suicide. Then I heard your song. Um, you know, helped my son believe in himself.
00:32:42
Speaker
Uh, you endless, endless, endless, uh, You know, and it's it's just begun. I'm 62 years old and I'm raring to go to get out there in the world again. have a ah new passion project, which is to help depolarize as many people who are who are willing um the madness that's going on in in the States right now, especially, but all over the world.
00:33:11
Speaker
I have a lot of passion for for helping people um Yeah.
Depolarizing Minds: Building Bridges and Finding Common Ground
00:33:21
Speaker
to look at their own bullshit yeah and to stop seeing things in terms of black and white or in this case red and blue yeah And ah you know the the talk, the the presentation I've been giving is called Beyond Red and Blue, Staying Human in Polarized Times.
00:33:41
Speaker
Yes. Yes. how do how do we so How do we do that? like I feel like we get deep more deeply ingrained in confirmation bias and whether it's the news you look at, the algorithm that's feeding you what you see, do we...
00:33:58
Speaker
how do we build a bridge to get back to a place where there is not that much, that as much divisiveness, if any.
00:34:10
Speaker
Well, ah one heart, one mind at a time. So like when you thirst for this, you know, when you get tired of being right in your mind, ah the path is, is,
00:34:24
Speaker
is going to be one step at a time. And I only recently really became, i realized I have really not practiced one of my favorite things that I preach, which is ah from St. Francis, let me not so much seek to be understood as to understand.
00:34:45
Speaker
And that's what we need to do to reach across the aisle and make friends or just be curious. and Recently, I was on an airplane and I sat next to people, an older couple with MAGA hats on.
00:35:00
Speaker
And at first I bristled because my politics are very different than red red hats.
00:35:08
Speaker
Yeah. But I heard them talking about their grandchildren. So i I just, you know, I had four hours to kill. I said, hey, I'm curious, how many grandchildren do you have? And It ended up being a really lively conversation about their children, their grandchildren, my children.
00:35:25
Speaker
you know Pictures were shown, stories were told. An hour or two passed, and I started to feel like this is the best. I think I won the emotional lottery here because we're talking about what we have in common. There's so much humanity and connection.
00:35:42
Speaker
So I took a w risk. And I said, I'm curious, do you mind if I ask you a more personal question? And they said, no. I said, what kind of world are you hoping that President Trump creates or leaves for your grandchildren?
00:36:01
Speaker
Paint me a picture. And it was the same world that I want my daughter to live in. yeah and We had radical different strategies yeah for how to get there.
00:36:13
Speaker
But the idea that we all share the same needs, that really warmed my heart. and And I came home from that flight and I found two Republicans and took them out to dinner. you know i'm I'm like on the on the war path here or the peace path.
00:36:33
Speaker
I'm so excited because you know nobody's... Good or bad, black or white, evil or not. Nobody. Everyone has in their heart something good, something really valuable.
00:36:45
Speaker
And I'm just so hungry to, let's just say, depolarize my mind. And then I look out in the world and I see a different world. And I think that's the way it is. It's like we need to...
00:36:58
Speaker
There's no we. It's one heart and mind at a time. You can't change anybody. But you can see with, again, courage, the courage to cut through your own bullshit, to see where you are dividing the world up into good, bad, right or wrong. Good people, bad people, red hats, blue hats.
00:37:19
Speaker
Because when you see that stuff, you can do something about it inside your heart.
00:37:27
Speaker
Wow.
00:37:29
Speaker
Wow. I love that you, you had the courage. And I think we're, we're, we're, we're lacking more and more.
00:37:40
Speaker
We're lacking courage to have that conversation. I see the hat. I instantly make judgment. I don't open up my mouth. We don't have a kind, we don't see each other's humanity. And we don't see that we do have this shared vision for the world that is nearly identical for the people that we love, but yet we have disagreed on how we get to that place.
00:38:00
Speaker
Indeed. And Kirk, oh man. And to then invite more and have more conversations. I think... That is what we we need to do with open hearts and open minds and open ears and receiving to see that maybe we're looking at things a little differently. Maybe we can be changed.
00:38:19
Speaker
And I think that's what we're lacking is understanding that the world is a little bit, a lot more complex than we make it out to be.
00:38:29
Speaker
Absolutely. one ah One of the... the tenants in in what I'm learning and and then going out and lecturing about is that the more afraid you are, the more you see the world in terms of your point of view is the right way.
00:38:51
Speaker
I call it the MWHW virus. It's the my way or the highway virus. And the fear usually is suppressed. No one walks around going, I'm terrified.
00:39:03
Speaker
but But it's very easy to to be angry. the The poet in me says, fear likes to stay hidden from view and play hide and seek in its host, which is you.
00:39:14
Speaker
I'm not afraid. I'm just angry, it shouts. I've been mistreated and need to speak out. I'm not afraid. I'm upset and I'm ring There's so many disguises that Fear enjoys wearing.
00:39:32
Speaker
He's proud of his wardrobe because he designed it Though he wouldn't admit it, Fear's quite clothes-minded. Mm-hmm.
00:39:44
Speaker
So nobody's going to open their minds and their hearts to other people until fear is addressed directly. Where do you think that fear comes from?
00:39:56
Speaker
what are we What are we afraid of? and we're like what ah What is the blue afraid of from the red? What is the red afraid of from the blue, black, white? Differences are threatening people.
00:40:12
Speaker
think everyone's just really scared shitless right now for valid reasons. There's a ah sense that yeah nobody talks about this, but there is a sense that um humanity is either going to evolve or perish.
00:40:29
Speaker
ah We're on the endangered species list. And I think everyone on some level feels this, like evolve or perish. And some people's strategies for evolving is digging your heels in or even you know hiring a chauffeur ah to get in the front seat so you don't have to drive anymore.
00:40:51
Speaker
And this chauffeur, is that how to pronounce it? Chauffeur? He says, don't worry, man, I've got you back. Just sit in the passenger seat. I am going to slow this car down. In fact, I'm going to put it in reverse and take us back to the good old days.
00:41:08
Speaker
And this chauffeur is President Trump right now, but there's all kinds of chauffeurs who are hoodwinking their countries all over the world because people are so scared. they in Whoever says, I'll make you feel safe, doesn't even matter if they're telling the truth. It's like, oh, this person helps me feel safe.
00:41:28
Speaker
Yeah. yeah He's going to be my guard dog and he's going to make me feel safe by barking and biting those vicious Mexicans and Canadians. And so people are really scared until we have compassion for how much fear people are in.
00:41:47
Speaker
We can't have these kinds of heart to heart conversations. Compassion. Yes. Yes. You you're an interesting man. u you've You've invested a lot into training and developing and learning and ah over six figures over the course of
Investing in Personal Growth: Uplifting Others
00:42:07
Speaker
your life.
00:42:07
Speaker
And I think that is impressive to to invest in yourself in that way. and want to see the improvement, the insights that you gain.
00:42:19
Speaker
I'm curious what has been some of the most insightful ah training, things that you've done, and and how you employ that today. ah Nonviolent communication comes to mind. I studied that for decades, taught it for a decade.
00:42:36
Speaker
Something called authentic community relating, AR. ah which I pretty much learned through internet groups over the last 10 years. ah Yeah. and You know, a lot of spiritual stuff, Course in Miracles. I don't know. You know, it's just, it all blends into one basic thing, ah which is i'm here. I've got a lot to give.
00:43:00
Speaker
I love mentoring younger people. i love helping people one-on-one. i still I don't really monetize that much. I charge for coaching, but I'm 62.
00:43:15
Speaker
i'm sixty two I have no savings, no retirement, and I'm still fucking on passion for helping and and uplifting because it's the most selfish thing I can do. The more I uplift people, the better I feel.
00:43:32
Speaker
Wow. need more of you in the world. We need more uplifters. We need more people to help other people rise. We need we need that. We need to um run with passion and and understand that people matter.
00:43:48
Speaker
like i got this shirt on. It just says it says you matter like to anyone. in The back of it is even more beautiful. it's ah it's a Let me turn it around. that one If you can read it, Scott, let me know what says. Okay. Read it.
00:44:01
Speaker
ah It says, ah to the person behind me, you are amazing, beautiful, and enough. Remember that. This conversation has been so different than so many others because I feel like you you have a ah unique energy about you.
00:44:18
Speaker
And you you have there's a there's a persona that I want to talk about. You developed um the the the spiritual Dr. Seuss. you Tell me about what that persona is. who what what How did that come to be?
00:44:34
Speaker
And what does it represent? Well, when my daughter was two years old, I would finish tucking her in read her a Dr. Seuss bedtime story. And, uh, the doctor, the energy of the rhyming of the Dr. Seuss just kept going on in my head. And i actually went to sleep. I could hardly fall asleep because I kept having these rhymes. So I got up, went to the computer, started writing down what I was hearing.
00:45:01
Speaker
and It was surprising because it felt like it was more for adults and that it had some wisdom in it. and ah sopher For the rest of my life, I've been like a a scribe for what I call the spiritual Dr. Seuss.
00:45:18
Speaker
well Wow. What have you created from that from from that ethos? so Lots of stuff. um My goodness, like the fear.
00:45:29
Speaker
Gather, my friends, because the end times are here. Not the end of the world, but the end of your fear. So turn down the lights. Make it dark now.
00:45:41
Speaker
dare you. Stick around till the end. And I'm going unscure you. Hmm. Now, when you were young and most things were quite swell, fear knocked on your door with a product to sell.
00:45:55
Speaker
And like most good salesmen, he cast quite a spell. While selling insurance called all is not well. Now, all is not well came in its own case.
00:46:08
Speaker
The case that there's danger all over the place. And after you bought it, your all is not well. You felt it your duty to share and to tell.
00:46:19
Speaker
And so mouth to mouth was how fear procreated with no YouTube or Facebook to disseminate it. Fear soon went viral all over the globe using old time religion to dispense and promote.
00:46:38
Speaker
Cause fear knew the way to get globally big was to drive a false wedge between God and her kids. That's how he came to be so domineering, by replacing God-loving with, you must be God-fearing.
00:46:59
Speaker
Then fear and religion began co-creating and cooked up a symbol of fear they called Satan, as if infinite love had a worthy opponent with pitchfork in hand who could pounce any moment.
00:47:15
Speaker
concept was great for maintaining control, making people behave as if they're on parole. Because when God-fearing people are scared for their souls, they put much more silver and gold in the bones.
00:47:34
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Now, dance that's a seven minute wrap. You can find it on YouTube or you can read it in one of my books called Oh, the Places Your Ego Will Go.
00:47:45
Speaker
But just for the purpose of time management, it let's stop there. Oh, my goodness. That was deep. That was deep. I can't wait to look at that. Like, I want to see the whole thing and and just hear it. Like, you you mentioned God earlier and you and you said that you rarely use that ah term ah then and then today. But God shows up in a different way in your life.
00:48:10
Speaker
What does God look like? How does that appear? I wish I knew. yeah God is the infinite. God is the love. God is what what is the great mystery that that makes life eternal, that that makes it so that when when things change form, they don't die. They just change form. like Energy cannot be created or destroyed.
00:48:40
Speaker
And that is freaking mystical. Mm-hmm.
00:48:46
Speaker
And I am in awe of the mystery. And that's my religion. Awe. I think this world is awesome. Never mind what we've done with our free will that has made it less than a joy ride.
00:49:01
Speaker
That's true. And that's what we're working on. But step back and see and feel the awe. And that's where your God is to me.
00:49:13
Speaker
Wow. Dang. This world is awesome. This universe is awesome. Each individual in it, they are awesome. All of y'all.
00:49:23
Speaker
Dang. fact, if I may, let's do one more song. This is from my my new show, Beyond Red and Blue.
Musical Reflections on the Pandemic and Resilience
00:49:32
Speaker
And towards the end, ah people...
00:49:38
Speaker
are up stirred. It's not a fun fest. But at the end, I say, you know, we've survived so many things. If you look back, this COVID, yeah incredibly challenging, such adversity.
00:49:53
Speaker
And we're here to learn and we're learning all the time. And here's what I think we may have learned during COVID. Here's what I saw us learning. I saw...
00:50:06
Speaker
Facial masks.
00:50:11
Speaker
People getting sick.
00:50:15
Speaker
Stuck in our homes.
00:50:19
Speaker
Binging Netflix. And said to myself,
00:50:27
Speaker
it's still a one.
00:50:53
Speaker
And said to myself,
00:50:59
Speaker
it's still a wonderful world.
00:51:08
Speaker
Could it be that the pandemic, traumatic as it was, was teaching us resilience and maybe even love?
00:51:37
Speaker
between our hearts. Now the shit's hit the fan. It's pouring like a geyser.
00:51:52
Speaker
May good things grow from Donald's fertilizer. Either way I could say
00:52:04
Speaker
is still a run. Oh man, it wonderful world. Wow. Wow Scott.
00:52:27
Speaker
man it is a wonderful world wow wows got
00:52:34
Speaker
You've blessed. I'm going to go back and listen to this so many times just because I want to really digest some of the lyrics that you've <unk>ve you've created. The words and the way that you put them together are so beautiful, so powerful, so Thank you, Reggie.
00:52:50
Speaker
I appreciate your appreciation. And if anybody's been touched and wants to get ahold of me, best place probably is just simply my website, scottsongs.com, S-C-O-T-T-S-O-N-G-S.com.
00:53:04
Speaker
You can find me on YouTube, Scott Grace. You can also find me on Facebook, Scott K Grace, my middle initial. That's important for Facebook. And if anybody wants to help me start an Instagram account or TikTok or manage my social media,
00:53:20
Speaker
Call me. Yes. Because I like to stay away from computers and phones as much as possible. Yes, that's good. I love that. And are you staying in Mexico? Like, are you living in Mexico now? I do. i'm I'm a temporary citizen here. I do visit my daughter and my mother and go to the States for gigs. ah But this is actually what feels most like home for me.
00:53:45
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Yeah. is Is that what is that feeling like? Is it a feeling of peace? Is it a is it a welcoming feeling? What made you feel that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:53:57
Speaker
ah Well, first of all, the cost of living where I live is about half. of what I was paying. So instantly my stress level went down about paying the bills. And then I just noticed everyone's so friendly. i don't know about the whole country. It's a big country, but I live in a place called Ajijic Pueblo Magico, you know, magical village.
00:54:19
Speaker
And the kids are playing until midnight. The families are just so bonded and everyone's happy and neighbors help each other. And all the retired gringos are thrilled to be there. The weather's great.
00:54:33
Speaker
And even though I said all that, don't come. yeah Don't flood this place. Don't flood this place. In fact, we're thinking of building a wall. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:48
Speaker
I love that. Scott, before I close- I'm Ronald to pay for the wall. He's going to pay for it. I love that. That is too good Before I close, I want to go through a segment called fill in the blank. And these are just some simple some simple statements where you fill it in.
00:55:06
Speaker
Vulnerability makes me feel blank.
00:55:11
Speaker
Sweet and sour. Soft and powerful. ah scared and courageous.
00:55:24
Speaker
Yes. I love that. The wholeness, the complexity. My superpower is blank.
00:55:32
Speaker
Calling bullshit on myself. Dope. And having a sense of humor about it.
00:55:38
Speaker
Nice. If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be blank. Oh, hang in there, kid. it's going to get sweeter and sweeter and sweeter and sweeter. And you get to be all you ever dreamed to be in this lifetime. So hang in there.
00:55:56
Speaker
the The adversity is all for a purpose. Keep going, dude. Rock on. Yes. And lastly, i Scott Grace, am living for blank.
00:56:08
Speaker
I, Scott Grace, am living for blank.
00:56:14
Speaker
a world where everyone wins, and feels safe, and has resources and opportunities.
00:56:22
Speaker
That's a beautiful world. I love that. love that. Scott, this has been a fantastic conversation. Not even, this is not a conversation, experience. This been a fantastic experience with you and I appreciate the time that you spent with me and I hope that we get some more time together. I'm going to look you up all over and see if I can find you, catch you at some of your gigs. And um yeah, it's been it's been beautiful.
00:56:49
Speaker
Are there any final thoughts, any things that you want to share with the audience, share with the world before we hop off?
Community Support: Validation and Constructive Criticism
00:56:57
Speaker
Find your tribe. Don't do this alone. Vulnerability and community are very intertwined.
00:57:09
Speaker
Find your tribe. What Reggie said about just wanting praise and validation, i would say you deserve that. You deserve to be surrounded by 97.9% support.
00:57:22
Speaker
support with an occasional constructive criticism here and there. But boy, do we flourish and prosper when we're when we're loved and cared about and given that cheerleading squad that most of us didn't get from our families.
00:57:39
Speaker
man mic drop yes yeah i will link your your contact information in the show notes and and scott i appreciate you i appreciate the person that you are appreciate what you're doing to uplift others to help them to put a smile on people's faces and make them laugh thank you for being who you are with all the things that you could be doing and all the places you could be, i appreciate you being here and me embracing vulnerability. Oh, man.
00:58:09
Speaker
This has been so beautiful, Reggie, and I'm happy to come back. and And we're friends. Yes. You know, like we've bonded people who...
00:58:21
Speaker
crash on an airplane and go through tragedy together, have this like bond for life, but also beautiful experiences like this podcast. That feels like a ah cemented bond between us. So wow stay in touch.
00:58:36
Speaker
We definitely will. Thank you, my friend. Yeah. Thank you for joining us in another episode of Vulnerability Muscle. If you've enjoyed these conversations around vulnerability, please consider leaving a review.
00:58:48
Speaker
Your feedback not only motivates us to continue to do the work that we do, but it allows other people to witness the power of vulnerability. Share your thoughts. on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, or wherever you're listening from.
00:59:03
Speaker
And don't forget to spread the word. You can follow us at vulnerabilitymuscle on Instagram and me personally at Reggie D. Ford across all platforms. Visit vulnerabilitymuscle.com for additional resources and support.
00:59:17
Speaker
And remember, embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. It is the source of your greatest strength. Sometimes it's uncomfortable. but most workouts are. So keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.