Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
038 - From Perfectionism to Pleasure: Embracing Confidence & Self-Love with Erica Wiederlight
14 Plays9 days ago
Listen to the full episode now and ask yourself: What would it look like to give yourself permission to feel good, right here, right now?
What if the key to healing isn’t hustling harder, but slowing down and savoring the sweetness of life? In this soul-stirring episode of The Vulnerability Muscle, Reggie D. Ford sits down with the radiant Erica Wiederlight—confidence coach, speaker, and spiritual firestarter—for an unfiltered conversation about embodiment, burnout, and the radical act of reclaiming pleasure.
Erica opens up about her evolution from class clown to confidence coach, the shame she carried around learning disabilities and body image, and how performing masked a deep disconnection from self-worth. She shares how her journey through acting, grief, and healing led her to teach others how to embrace sexual empowerment, presence, and pleasure—not as luxuries, but as lifelines.
Together, Reggie and Erica explore:
- Why vulnerability is a process, not a moment
- How pleasure helps reset the nervous system and heal anxiety
- The myth of constant self-improvement and why rest is sacred
- How to check in with yourself through sensory awareness
- The spiritual depth of sexual empowerment and how it’s often misunderstood
This conversation is a masterclass in living out loud, embracing imperfection, and choosing self-love in every season—even the crunchy ones.
Listen now to learn how to move from burnout to brilliance by tapping into your body, your breath, and your birthright to feel good.
Contact Info:
Guest – Erica Wiederlight
Website: wethelight.org
Instagram: @wethelight_llc
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Vulnerability Muscle Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
As a teenager, as you could tell with the picture behind me with the popcorn coming out of my mouth, with like ah like that while i was that girl. And I think for me, i that actually brought me a lot of shame and a lot of grief because I was that like that wild kid, like like just like running down the street, like totally embodied, fun, outrageous.
00:00:21
Speaker
And I think... because I went the opposite way because of pain and you know suffering as we do, you know middle school, high school, I think that really I was like, oh, like that spooked me.
00:00:32
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like i was like, oh, that's that's spooky. Like I was, i lived out loud and now I hate
Meet Erica Weterleit: Confidence Coach
00:00:39
Speaker
myself. Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the inspiring podcast challenging norms and helping you redefine vulnerability as a strength.
00:00:47
Speaker
I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle dives into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts. We explore the power of vulnerability and fostering meaningful connections.
00:01:03
Speaker
healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth. Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but good workouts often are. So join us and flex that vulnerability muscle.
00:01:16
Speaker
Welcome to this episode of The Vulnerability Muscle. i am your host, Reggie D. Ford. The Vulnerability Muscle is all about redefining vulnerability as a strength to help us connect, to heal, to grow.
00:01:28
Speaker
And today I have a fantastic guest, Erica Weterleit. Erica is the confidence, the confidence coach, expert and speaker. ah Her work highlights self-love, dating, embodiment, pleasure, burnout and sexual empowerment.
00:01:45
Speaker
She helps clients go from feeling dusty and crusty to feeling fabulous and radiant. I love that.
TEDx Talk Experience on Self-Love
00:01:52
Speaker
Erica, welcome, welcome, welcome. How are you today? Yay, I'm so excited. This is going be such a great conversation. So thank you for having me.
00:02:00
Speaker
I appreciate you for being here. i think that um when we, so little bit about me, I gave my TEDx, my first TEDx last year on the power of self-love.
00:02:11
Speaker
Amazing. And how self-love heals with the self-improvement culture harms yeah of making us feel ashamed that we need to be more, need to be better, need to fix all these different parts of us. And how if we let self-love be the motivation, it comes from a much more healthy spot for us all. And so, yeah, I think that I'm i'm really intrigued by what we're going to talk about today. But I want to start with a quick a little so segment called what comes to mind.
00:02:42
Speaker
Oh, love it. OK, so the first thing that you can think of, what comes to mind when you hear the word
Understanding Vulnerability as a Process
00:02:49
Speaker
vulnerability? o
00:02:53
Speaker
A process. Oh, the process. The process of vulnerability. Let's go, okay. What do you do to center yourself when you're stressed or maybe even depressed?
00:03:07
Speaker
I love that. I think just presence, the idea of I need to center myself. So that could like, Erica, I need to center myself. So that could look like so many different things, right? Like mindset, maybe movement, maybe go for a walk. But my first spot that I hit is, Hey, i need
Childhood Memories and Family Bonds
00:03:25
Speaker
something. i need a tool ASAP. I have to hit a tool ASAP.
00:03:29
Speaker
What signals that to you? Ooh, I love that a lot. Sometimes it's obvious where it's like, oh I'm so burnt out. And sometimes it's quieter. So for me, honestly, and this is a big part of my my work, and I'm sure we'll talk about this is I've had to get good at like asking myself regularly, how am I?
00:03:48
Speaker
You know what i mean? Because I feel like, and I don't know if this resonates for you, but often i had to get like hit over the head. Like I'm so burnt out and i'm like, Oh, SOS. But I've had to get good at like throughout the day, i may think I'm fine and then be like, Oh, I'm actually not great. Like I had a, what do we have to do here? So for me, it's been ah marriage of sure hitting me getting hit over the head with it, but also asking myself and checking in with myself regularly.
00:04:17
Speaker
I love that. And I think that's a question that I like we ask of other people and we expect the like canned answer. I'm good. <unk>s like I'm great. Like, how's your how's your day going? Great. And um we we can ask that of ourselves, too. But in those same in that same context, like be real with yourself.
00:04:36
Speaker
And I think if we are even real with the person that asks us that, and impact not maybe in passing, but like some friend or family member who's asking and we are real and vulnerable about it, we get to real solutions if we need them or we get to real ideas or, you know, whatever
School Experiences and Self-Image
00:04:52
Speaker
it may be. So I love that. Asking yourself, checking in with yourself multiple times a day. That's good. Totally. That's good.
00:04:59
Speaker
And then lastly, what is one of your favorite childhood memories? Oh my God. That's so good. You know, what's so funny is i so many, but I have a picture behind
Journey to Empowerment
00:05:08
Speaker
quite literally behind me.
00:05:10
Speaker
Um, because I, it just is like the essence of who I am. And it's me, my dad and my two siblings. And we're at an amusement park. I think we're at like universal or Disney and my siblings, excuse me, are much older than me.
00:05:23
Speaker
And they're like, I've had it. I'm burnt out. It's in the heat, but they did it for me. because I in the photo was like maybe three years old, four years old. and I think they're like, we don't want to be here. Like we're 12 years old. You know, my, my brother, they were teenagers. Like we don't want to be here in the heat.
00:05:39
Speaker
And they, everyone in the pictures, like Ms. I showed to my nephews and they're like, everyone is Ms. Except for Erica. I am. Like, wow, eating popcorn, it's coming out of my mouth. Like I'm just thrilled to be alive. And for me, I love it for many reasons. Right. I'm like, I want to continue that essence of that human. Like I want to be that person that's like living out loud.
00:05:59
Speaker
i was just happy to be alive and eating my popcorn and laying my dad. You know what i mean? Like i was yes. But for me, that is, is a beautiful memory um that because of the age difference, my siblings and my parents, they made you know such a sacrifice for,
00:06:14
Speaker
um Even when they're like, oh, God, we got to do this again. and you know We did this with the two others. We have to do it again. So I'm those you know it's on a pinpoint memory, but the sacrifices that they made, I'm very grateful for.
00:06:27
Speaker
Wow. That sounds fun. I can see that that exuberance coming out of you right now. Thank you. I'm glad that you're able to recall that. I'm curious about just the the dynamics of growing up with siblings that much older because I'm on the other end of it. I am the oldest.
00:06:42
Speaker
i have two brothers who are close in eight closer to me in age, but then I have a ah sister who's 10 years behind me and a brother who's 15 years behind me. Yeah. And so the dynamics, you were the young one. how How was that growing up? The best. It's the best because it was the best of both worlds.
00:06:59
Speaker
Like I got to have siblings, but then also the age difference was so big that I got to almost be like an only child. So I
Living Authentically and People-Pleasing
00:07:06
Speaker
had memories of like a, a little bit like some memories of like family.
00:07:11
Speaker
um but a lot of my memories, I was very blessed to be with my mom and dad a lot. Um, and I, I cherish that deeply. And the great thing is as I got older, then I really got to bond with my siblings. I'm super close to my nephews.
00:07:25
Speaker
They think that I'm their age, you know what mean? I mean, I act like it, but you know what i mean? So ah for me, I'm like, Oh man, it was, it was the best of both worlds. That's great. Oh, that's so good. And are y'all still close?
00:07:36
Speaker
We are. We are. We are very close. And I'm and I'm grateful for that. and Dang, that that is a ah blessing for sure. I love to hear that. It is. It is. yeah um I'm curious about the the journey. So the confidence coach yeah and and the work that you like to to work in self-love, to work in ah empowerment and and all the things that you do.
00:08:00
Speaker
Where did that motivation and drive come from? I love that. I laugh because I quite literally couldn't have been the opposite. As a teenager, as you could tell with the picture behind me with the popcorn coming out of my mouth, like I like that. Well, was that girl.
00:08:14
Speaker
And I think for me, i that actually brought me a lot of shame and a lot of grief because I was that like that wild kid, like like just like running down this like totally embodied, fun, outrageous.
00:08:28
Speaker
And I think. because I went the opposite way
Path to Self-Empowerment
00:08:32
Speaker
because of pain and, you know, suffering as we do, you know, middle school, high school. I think that really, I was like, Oh, like that spooked me.
00:08:40
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like i was like, Oh, that's, that's spooky. Like I was, i lived out loud and now I hate myself. Whoa. Like that. whoa Like what happened? And so for me, I always say this, like if, if your high school self knew what you're doing today, I would be surprised.
00:08:56
Speaker
shook and I'd be like, you know, like, do we have to, you know what I mean? Like, no. Uh, but it was out of it. It was out of necessity. And honestly, was out of of a necessity to heal myself and to heal my family.
00:09:10
Speaker
Um, yeah no intention of doing this as a profession. i and I still am, um, was an actress and, Like that was my gig. And I was like, I'm like, I'm, that is my focus. And you know how life works. It hit me over the head but I was like, I'm here just to like heal myself. I'm here just to teach this to my mom. Like that was what the laser, um, focus was.
00:09:34
Speaker
And then yeah it evolved as it, as it evolved. That is interesting. So like living out loud and then getting to a point of what were those influences or voices that made you shift from that, you know, that that joy that you had to to live out loud to being more self-deprecating?
00:09:54
Speaker
Totally. I think I, think a lot of things, right. I think all a lot of us can get hit in adolescence, you know, about wrongness, but I carried a lot of wrongness. I think for a long time, um I carried body image issues with weight.
00:10:11
Speaker
That was a really big one for me. And I also grew up with learning disability. Uh, and oh my God, it's interesting. I also learned how to use humor to cope. Which is fabulous. But also I went to the other side. you know what i mean? Where it was like, oh, I'm hot. I'm like, oh, it's all good.
00:10:27
Speaker
It's all good. Oh, I'm so funny. Like where it was, it was covering. So for me, it just was, and and other layers too, but those two, I really felt a so a sense of I'm fundamentally wrong.
00:10:41
Speaker
I'm fundamentally broken. and And it almost was like, there was a part of me that was like, oh, that was acceptable as a kid because like I was, you know, that was cute. But like, this isn't cute anymore. I'm fundamentally bad. I'm fundamentally wrong.
Adolescence Challenges and Humor as Defense
00:10:53
Speaker
um And it took me a long time. And even now, I still to track where i'm like, oh my God, i still hold wrongness. Like, I have to...
00:11:02
Speaker
you know, check that because it comes up in, in wacky ways, you know, but that's, that is, excuse me, a big core of where things start to take take a turn. Where did, where did you find the awareness that you were having thoughts like that?
00:11:19
Speaker
Like I view myself in this, like, was it during that time and in adolescence and childhood or was it later in life? Oh, I love that. I think adolescence. And I think again, and I didn't have the,
00:11:32
Speaker
wording for, for it. But again, I'll say this, it spooked me. Cause I was, uh, even then i was so live out loud and, and laugh. and And, I think I was like, Oh, I feel what is like, I couldn't identify, but I felt it quite young. And I remember, um, I like have such a specific memory too, of like fourth grade, like, I'm like, something's really wrong with me. It was the, it was the undiagnosed learning disability. But like, I, it was like, I,
00:11:59
Speaker
I remember being like, something is wrong. SOS, SOS, SOS. And then as it does, it compounds over time. Right. So it's like, then things happen in high school and that combat things in college, you know? So it's like all these things snowballed and compounded with other things to a point where I was like, Oh, am I feeling self hatred? Like we're at that point.
00:12:22
Speaker
Like we're at that level of, uh, Ooh, this is, this is not good. Definitely. but and Do you, do you care to to name the learning disability? yeah Yeah, of course. I honestly, I think it's multiple. There's, there's multiple things. think there is also a level of ADHD.
00:12:40
Speaker
Um, but for me, I was diagnosed with auditory processing, um a few things. And for me, it was at a point where I had to like, I'd have to leave classroom. Uh, like it was that, like that level of like, okay, I have to go into this to take it to, and it was, I always, ah man, have so many thoughts on this. Cause I'm like, Ooh, I have so many thoughts on education and how some things, you know, no one's perfect, but I'm like, Oh, I have so many thoughts on this.
00:13:05
Speaker
But like, I'm like, hello, like basic psychology. If you're, if there's students, you can't, embar and I just, I had so much shame. Like, I'm like, we could do this in such a more graceful way, or we can have a conversation about it. But It was like, Erica, was like, no. And again, that's where the humor came in um And for me, I think it it was a beautiful thing because I learned humor and I learned...
00:13:31
Speaker
I guess I talk thought this like, Oh, I'm not, but which I think is not true, honestly, but I'm not book smart, but I'm street
Trauma Responses and Societal Expectations
00:13:39
Speaker
smart. And so I remember I got to high school and I was like, oh I'm really going to off the street smart thing. And I would negotiate with my gym teachers. I'd be like, all right, I'm going to the mile. Cause I don't want to sweat, but I will sing you a song.
00:13:49
Speaker
And they're like, you're so annoying. And they're like, all right, do it. But like, so it's like, it came with heavy cons, but it also, was in a way celebrated like my shtick was celebrated so it was a fine lot right like it was like i did learn how to be a people person and to schmooze honestly and to like that became such a gift and there was a heavy shadow because i walked around with a lot of wrongness in my in myself yeah oh that that reminds me of uh of like how i i mentioned in and my tedx that like
00:14:24
Speaker
yeah all My trauma responses, which were to people, please the perfectionism, the perfectionism ah to to problem solve for everyone else around me and neglect myself and overwork.
00:14:37
Speaker
Those are celebrated. Yes. Yes. Yes. And then it feeds you with that dopamine and you you get the external validation that makes you feel better. And you keep doing that when it's covering up the root of what why you're even doing it in the first place. Yes. And and so so I can imagine like.
00:14:58
Speaker
the the number of times you've been called the class clown and all those different things. Give me, give me, give me a story. get Like if I were to ask your high school friends or or college friends, a good story about you and your humor,
00:15:13
Speaker
What is something they'd say? Well, I just, i'm I'm thinking, I'm like, oh my God, forget it. There's so much. There's so, ah I'm like, let's go through the Rolodex. But you know what? My friend from college yesterday texted me and she goes, can you send me the picture? I'm like, which one? She's like, the one, don't you remember? i'm like, why was I a nut job? But she's like, that you didn't use to carry clown noses in your purse.
00:15:32
Speaker
I'm like, why? What happened? And she's like, I have pictures. so Like, do you have any pictures of you just like out at the bar or the club with the nose? know And I'm like, wow, I repressed that memory. But like just a total, like total fool. And you know what's so funny is I had a friend, like a childhood friend, but like adjacent. Like we, you know, we're kind of in the same group. And remember she said she would say stuff like, oh, Erica, she's like a cartoon character.
00:16:00
Speaker
And speaking of vulnerability, I was like, whoa, like I am so not seen. she's like, no, you're like funny and fabulous and this and that. And I was like, yeah, that's cool. Like, I love that. But like, I felt so not seen. Like it was very like, like that, like, let blow up the balloon and like, like, let me do a kick to my face. Like it was like, OK, cool. And we can have we can have some of that. But like, I am human. Yeah.
00:16:30
Speaker
And, you know, when I actually went into coaching, i surprised myself because so many people were used to me interacting this very like clownish way.
00:16:42
Speaker
And when I started doing coaching, it's like, they're sure, like I love to kid. I think humor is very healing. um But I also would have to be like stern. Like, hey, let's talk about this. And I actually shocked myself because I never felt worthy or safe enough to.
00:16:59
Speaker
be that person. I only felt worthy or safe to be a fool or to be a clown, you know? So that was, that was an edge for me where it's like, Hey, like actually this person needs you to be a little stern or this person needs you to actually not lay any humor on like they need it pretty straight.
00:17:17
Speaker
Um, so that was a very, that was a very vulnerable journey for me, and not glamorous, like undoing that through my coat becoming a coach, honestly.
Evolving Journey of Vulnerability
00:17:28
Speaker
Wow. Wow. That it like i mean like, mean, like when think about just authenticity of who we are and that conflict that we have in ourselves to to one live in that authenticity, but also there's this this this fear that leads to the people pleasing and and just the conflict there. Right.
00:17:46
Speaker
Oh, you you earlier described vulnerability as a process. What does that process look like in your life and how have it, how has it helped you to show up authentically as you are today?
00:17:58
Speaker
I love that. I think I said process because I remember why my one friend, my best friend said to me, he said something about me lacking at a time that at a time who was very, and it was very in the clown years, lacking vulnerability.
00:18:15
Speaker
And so think for me, it had, it has been a process now. It's like, Hey, it's here. I mean, I'm like, let's talk, you know, I go on podcast. I go, I'm like, tell me, I'll tell you anything. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I'm like, cool.
00:18:26
Speaker
But I think for a long time, it was a process for me because I was a character, sadly. like i i i hate that and I wasn't because... But you know what i mean? like I was presenting as a character or character of myself.
00:18:40
Speaker
um So me being vulnerable has been a process. Oh my God, especially with the sexual empowerment piece. you know I remember I was putting all content out there and ah was doing my work and then i had weddings back to back with high school people and i was like, oh no.
00:18:55
Speaker
Like I have to like face that. Like, know what I mean? Like I could do all this stuff online and be a sexual empowerment coach. But when push comes to shove, showing up, you know, with people that like showing up with like, that's, that's an edge.
00:19:09
Speaker
the That's an edge. And I think for me, the journey too is, my work is so vulnerable. Yeah. So, you know, as you know, it's not a one-stop shop. So I'm like, it feels like a journey because it's, I feel like I'm always playing with a new edge ah vulnerability. I'm like, okay, what's the new, what's the new one we're working with?
00:19:29
Speaker
So true. So true. And sexual empowerment work, Like one, like I think just like mental health, just like um other topics like sex and so sexual healing or sexual empowerment right is a topic that I don't know is discussed enough.
00:19:45
Speaker
Yeah. Tell me what that work looks like for you and and how you help people. I love that. Yeah. For me, it could be many different things. I also want to mention pleasure for me is a big route. And I know we'll talk about that, but that's a big part of healing for me. i always say pleasure can be a healing modality.
00:20:06
Speaker
Um, there's many reasons for me. It helped me heal my anxiety. It helped me reset my nervous system and soothe my nervous system. It helped me talk about self-love. i did a lot of self-love work and I was like, cool. Like I never got, and thank God, but I never really got over the edge, but the self-love, work excuse me, the pleasure work.
00:20:25
Speaker
taught my brain and my body like, oh, Erica, like you're worthy of slowing down to enjoy this kombucha. Hey, Erica, you're worthy and deserving of listening to the different instruments in that jazz music. You know what i mean?
Sexual Empowerment and Personal Growth
00:20:39
Speaker
Like it taught me on a different level.
00:20:41
Speaker
Beyond me just being like, I love myself and like affirmations, like it taught me body, mind, spirit, like, whoa, I'm a worthy and deserving human of of having goodness in my life. And I can hold goodness in my life.
00:20:53
Speaker
um And I mentioned this because for a lot of us, but especially people that have suffered any type of trauma, ah it feels very unsafe to hold goodness because at a time, you know, it's like, oh, I had something good and the trauma ripped it.
00:21:08
Speaker
out from underneath me and now I'm scared and pleasure could be so healing because it creates safety of I can hold good things. I also could hold pain. I could also hold if something bad happens, I'm really not in the mood to deal with it, but like, I got it. You know what mean? Like I know, how i i know how to face the darkest of days. Like I got, I got this fundamentally.
00:21:27
Speaker
Um, And so for me, that's, that's the pleasure work. Um, and that's how I introduce people to pleasure. The sexual empowerment is honestly similar. Um, it's whether for an array of reasons, if people want to work through any sexual trauma, if they just, you know, they have confidence issues or or body stuff, like it's kind of across the board.
00:21:46
Speaker
Um, but for me, how I like to meet it, you can, as you can imagine, um, I feel like it's deeply spiritual And I always say like, everyone feels like sex or sexual empowerment, pleasure. Is this like sub category? You know, it's like, i always say people are more likely to hire a money coach or a business coach.
00:22:04
Speaker
most yeah Right. It's just like, Oh yeah, of course. But I'm like, cool. I love that. If you could do it, I'm all about that for you. However, ah More often than not, when I meet someone, they come in the door for, for sexual empowerment or pleasure where it's like, ding, ding, ding, like these other things. Like it's a, it's a portal. It's a portal. It's not, uh, and I don't wish it was, but it's, it's not like a subsect that we can, we can tap in, tap out, go back and forth. It's.
00:22:32
Speaker
it's connected to everything. Right. It's like, we start talking and stuff and it's like, Oh, Whoa, there's a money trauma there. Like, yeah, totally. Like, Oh, Whoa, there's some confidence suffer. Oh, Whoa. I didn't realize I really struggle with asking for my needs. Cause I don't feel worthy or deserving.
00:22:45
Speaker
that da da da da da da You know? So it's like, I always say that because everyone's like sexual empowerment. I'm like, Oh, get ready. Cause it's a, it's a spiritual,
00:22:56
Speaker
journey. Like there's so much to learn. There's so many good, so many things and layers for us to pick a apart. Yeah. And it, like you said, it's spiritual and it's holistic. It's totally like the the same decisions or choices that you make around one area of a life are going to show up in another area of life. yes And, and um I was, i was curious to hear you ah talk about pleasure in the way that you did, because you know, here in sexual empowerment, here in pleasure, like first mine is like sexual pleasure, sure but you went to enjoying jazz, the the different instruments in jazz, enjoying, like I'm, I have screenshot of like just trees right here and just like the individual leaves on the trees, like yeah things like that. Like how, how else can one incorporate pleasure work to, to getting to a place of like actually seeing the love in themselves in the world?
00:23:46
Speaker
I love that. I think, again, kind of presencing it. So what I do talk about like checking in, I'll check in with myself. I try, you know, multiple times a day. Sometimes I set alarms and I'm like, OK, Erica, hey, on a scale, are you crunchy? Like, are you feeling real crunchy or are you feeling turned on? And what I mean by turned on is turned on like a light switch.
00:24:08
Speaker
Like a lot, like, am I alive? Meaning, am I enjoying that beautiful picture of seeing the trees? Am i you know, like, am i alive? If I am crunchy and would like some assistance to phone a friend, it's like, asked myself like, okay, like a dial, how would I dial it up?
00:24:25
Speaker
So I asked myself, how can i make this current reality more pleasurable? Again, we don't want to bypass, right? If there's something like a really a dark emotion or something that we really need to process, we got to process it, right? So I always say like nuance, nuance. We never want to use this to bypass the stuff.
00:24:44
Speaker
However, more often than not, sometimes we just don't want to, you know, like that this is this
Balancing Desire and Present Moment
00:24:49
Speaker
is for the mundane. This is for regular living. yeah um And so I asked myself, okay, Erica, what do i do to make this moment more pleasurable?
00:24:58
Speaker
It's funny because when I start talking about this, people go to the extreme and that's cool. But people are like, I want to go to the Amalfi coast and I want to I'm gonna go to the spa and blah, blah, blah. like, if you can swing it, that's hot. Take me with you. You know what I mean? like i love that for you.
00:25:12
Speaker
I support that. Like quite literally live your life. Like, yes, please. However, we can get into a trap. You know, the deal with like self-care and self-love where it's like, uh, yeah. Yeah, that it starts to become outside of ourself again. Is there a place for it? Is sometime appropriate? Absolutely.
00:25:28
Speaker
But it becomes a little hairy. So what I mean by how can I make this moment more pleasurable? Hey, if you want to go put a face mask on, I love that. But what I'm really saying is like, who I need to take a deep breath.
00:25:41
Speaker
I need to grab but a little, you know, some water. I'm going to roll my shoulders back. You know what? I'm working on making something up. I'm working on this proposal. I actually would like to put the jazz music on.
00:25:51
Speaker
i don't like how I'm sitting right now. Like I'm actually going to move to the couch, whatever. So it's like, it's becomes way more available for us. And I always use this quote, cause I think this is just so powerful. I always say this and I always misquote the person. So God forgive me. Um, but there is a Yogi, um and this Yogi, i'm i'm like, who was this? I have to get it right. Cause I always say the story. So I'm sorry. Uh, but the the Yogi, um was on tour practice, you know, like whatever, not on tour, like it's like Lady Gaga, right? You know, I'm like, I'm like, they you know, they're on their, you know, born this way tour. Um, but so, um, the Yogi was on his tour, I guess, preaching, you know, his teachings, et cetera.
00:26:31
Speaker
And someone asked something like travel, like, aren't you so grateful you're traveling the world? Like this is such, that's such a beautiful, you know, experience. And the Yogi said something to the effect of like, of course, like I recognize like the privilege and the gratitude, like the beautiful gratitude that I get to experience, you know, new cultures and this and that, like,
00:26:49
Speaker
Yes. Like I'm going to acknowledge yes. And the work that we're talking about inner peace can be found in the present moment. And I think that so applies to pleasure. Like, yes. Can we go to Egypt? Can we go to all these things that we have on our desire and our our vision board,
Societal Pressure Against Comfort
00:27:09
Speaker
please?
00:27:09
Speaker
God bless. I think that's part of being a human having desires and, I think often we forget how much power we have in the here and now to create magic.
00:27:21
Speaker
ah I love that. i love that. It's it's I love just like thinking about it in this current moment, even like I am and like I have a heater space heater on yeah right now. I can find so much pleasure in just knowing that like my body is comfortable.
00:27:39
Speaker
Yes. As I sit here and having a great conversation, like the little things, being grateful for the little things. Totally. i'm I'm curious what your thoughts are. So I've always felt, well, not always, but when I got more aware and more um curious about the world, I questioned the connotation that we have with comfort and contentment.
00:28:02
Speaker
Like we we look at comfort comfortability as a negative thing a lot of times. right Don't get comfortable. Don't be content with. And I just, I don't understand it 100%.
00:28:13
Speaker
roger it Like, I don't know why we are so drawn to discomfort. And I get like certain levels of stress and discomfort help us grow.
00:28:23
Speaker
But that is kind of counter to what we were just saying about pleasure and and being able to experience and sit in things that are pleasurable without. making it a little bit discomfort or uncomfortable. Totally. thoughts on that I love this question. I always say this, ah two things. I always say this though. I say for me, my dream and who knows it might shift, but currently in this season is to have one foot in the door of desire and one foot in the door of being here and now.
00:28:53
Speaker
So for me, that means like one foot in like, Hey, this is my current circumstances, really tragic stuff. We're not going bypass. Right. But like, here's my current circumstances. How can I have gratitude for it? How can I make it hot? Like, how could I like enjoy this gift or these gifts that I've been given? Great. That's one door.
00:29:11
Speaker
The other door is if appropriate. And sometimes it's not appropriate. But for me, this is where I'm where I'm at. I do want to play with what I'm creating. Like I do. And I don't want to get obsessed with like, I'm creating this, I'm creating this. So I can't look at, at the present or vice versa. Like I'm so content, you know, we have to find that special sauce and and where we're at. But for me currently, and I'm going counter exactly what I just said, a total opposite. But for me, Erica, currently March, 2025, um,
00:29:40
Speaker
I have that one foot in like, let me jam out with my reality. Let me make it really good. Cause I know this change is always coming. So like, I'm going to jam with what I got. Cause it's not going to be like this forever for good or for bad.
00:29:54
Speaker
Cool. And then the other foot is like, and I am curious, like, what do I want? What am I moving towards? Like, what am I actively pursuing? So that's me. And I've seen a lot of clients, especially currently, which does not surprise me with the climate that we are in the world.
00:30:11
Speaker
um and everything that we've been through as a society, ah that people, you know, I have a lot of clients that I'm actually like laughing that because I'm like, wow, this has happened a lot the last few weeks. and they're like, okay. Um, so i have something to share my guests. Tell me.
00:30:25
Speaker
And they're like, I just want to like chill for the next few months. Hmm. And like, they're waiting for me to like up a permission slip. And I'm like give them permission yeah like, I'm like, yeah, you know, and and I think there's a shame and a wrongness of like, what
Pleasure as a Means to Prevent Burnout
00:30:41
Speaker
am I creating? What am I manifesting? What am I, what are my goals?
00:30:44
Speaker
And, and a lot of times, you know when we unpack this, they're like, I, I'm deeply burnt out. I'm disappointed. Like I just, ah I don't, I need to reset.
00:30:55
Speaker
And I'm not saying I need to do this for 10 years. I'm not trying to use this as a way to bypass or avoid or whatever. They're like, I just need a moment. Like I need a moment to find pleasure, to find goodness, to jam out, to keep up my responsibilities, right? Like keep things going. Still dream here and there.
00:31:13
Speaker
but I need a moment and then I can reset. And when the time is right, I can go back to desires, but we're cyclical beings. Like we're, yeah I think we get so trapped in like a ah linear thinking, like we're cyclical, we're, so we're seasonal, you know? So sometimes it's appropriate to be go, go, go desires, desires, dreams, dreams.
00:31:32
Speaker
And sometimes it's appropriate to be like, look what I've created. i want to sit with this for a minute. Like, let me sit with this. And then I'm down to, move on and like you said there's beauty in pushing ourselves and et cetera. But I think there is, i love your question because it's no one ever asks me that.
00:31:49
Speaker
And I'm so glad because I think people are dying to be, have permission that it's okay to, to, to be in the moment and to enjoy your life. Like, I think so many people are thirsty for that because it's always in the self-improvement world. What's next? What's next? What's next?
00:32:05
Speaker
It's like, Whoa, Whoa, I'm not taking that off the table completely, but like, right. I'm also allowed to rest and, And B, like, so I'm so glad that you brought that up. And it's so beautiful.
00:32:16
Speaker
Yes. I say that rest is productive. Oh, yes. how ah Without the rest, without the recovery, all the things that people do, the doing of things, you can't, you wouldn't be able to. Right. ah You would burn out.
00:32:31
Speaker
Right. Totally. And I know that's ah that's ah that's a topic that you talk about. how does How does burnout prevention work in the space that you you're in? Yeah. For me, I think what's different is, ah from my work with burnout is I'm very pleasure based.
00:32:47
Speaker
you know what I mean? So pleasure as way to recover, to have burnout recovery or to, to heal burnout, if that makes sense. Um, and that can be an edge too, because sometimes we're so burnt out,
00:33:02
Speaker
Oh, Erica, I can't do pleasure like I used to. and that brings some shame, right? i I think back of seasons and cycles of myself, some seasons of pleasure, like I was live, laugh, loving. I told you before we got on this, now I'm in South Florida, but I lived in new York City. Like some of my pleasure back then was like running through New York City, like, wow! And that was, but that was my summer of my life.
00:33:24
Speaker
And that doesn't mean when I'm in the winter of my pleasure, in the fall of my pleasure, that it's wrong or bad. um but I, I, I laughed because i remember when I first started doing this work, I just was so misguided and I thought, Oh, this is cute. Like this is another certification and I'm to put it in a bow and on a little, you know, platter and, you know, on the bookshelf in a way.
00:33:46
Speaker
and what I quickly learned is this is a relationship of a life. If you so choose, it's a relationship of a lifetime. and so pleasure will sometimes have seasons of, you know, you're going out and going to dinners, God bless it. You know, that type of out, whatever.
00:34:01
Speaker
And then there's sometimes pleasure where you're just holding yourself or stroking your face, letting yourself know that you're safe or enjoying the flavors in your tea. You know, like, and here's the thing. We're not taught that that's okay, that
Acting Training and Living Authentically
00:34:15
Speaker
that's welcome. And so I am a permission slip for all things, but I'm a permission slip for that is just as productive, worthy, healthy as you, as you know, ah me running through the streets of New York city.
00:34:27
Speaker
Like they're both worthy. Yeah. Wow. Wow. I love like when you said that about tea, I even just like took a moment to actually taste the tea that lingering in my mouth. And like, like it tastes sweeter. It tastes better. And oh ah like to give ourselves permission to slow down.
00:34:47
Speaker
Totally. And enjoy the moment. Yes. It's so huge. And i love like, like pleasure and incorporating like the senses. Yes.
00:34:58
Speaker
I think that's a great way of grounding yourself. Like if, if like your mind is wandering and you can't, it's like the five, four, three, two, one, like five things you can see, four things that you can touch, yes three things that you can hear, two that you can smell, one that you can taste.
00:35:15
Speaker
ah If you can do that, connect to your senses, it brings you it makes you calm. Like it's hard to stress about some other shit when you're like, all right, what do I actually see in this present moment? Because it's not the thing that my mind is playing tricks on me with.
00:35:30
Speaker
It is right here. Exactly. I love that. I love that so much. I love it. Yeah, exactly. That's really quickly. That's part of my anxiety healing journey was, and I want to go back.
00:35:42
Speaker
If anyone's listening to this where it's like, okay, to Erica, I'm down to the like pleasure in the moment, but how, whenever I get stuck, go to the senses, pick one, two layer. If you so so choose, like, if you're like, i know she said, you know, I know that girl said like, do the check in. i know I'm crunchy. Now what? It's like, if all goes, you know, all goes awry, pick a sense.
00:36:01
Speaker
Yeah. pick a sense and just like really revel in it. And you made a great point with me, with my anxiety. I was always future tripping. I was always out of my body. Pleasure forces you to be in the moment.
00:36:12
Speaker
It food forces you to be in your body, right? Like if I was really enjoying that cup of tea, or if I was really enjoying that piece of fish, like, Here i am right here, right now.
00:36:23
Speaker
It's hard to be ripped out of my body and that that that that like going down that spiral. Yes.
Embracing Life's Full Range
00:36:29
Speaker
yeah And so that for me was just a profound way that I i healed some of my anxiety.
00:36:36
Speaker
Oh, I love that. i love that. You you ah mentioned like time in acting. Yes. wondering how you're you're training for that and just the performer performative nature of that, how that has played a role in you becoming who you are or as it helped in your coaching.
00:36:55
Speaker
I love that. Yeah. You know, so funny is I just something that you're so good, something that I just said, my acting teacher told me. Yeah. Which is before any scene, we'd be like, all right, before you go in to see anything, you'd stand in front of the class and say, here I am right here, right now.
00:37:12
Speaker
Because he was like, I don't want to see performative stuff. I don't want to see you. i don't want to see it. Like I've seen bad acting. We know bad acting. I don't need to see it. He's like, I want to see real. I want to see. i saw the scene yesterday.
00:37:24
Speaker
What is it today? Here I am right here, right now, now, now, now what is it? um And so. Oh, I talk about this all the time, actually. i and I talked about it. i have a podcast. and I talked about it the other day and I got emotional. podcast What's the name of it? Thank you. It's called Welcome to the Weeder Life.
00:37:42
Speaker
And I was talking about, for me, the the link between acting and the but pleasure and the spiritual journey. And they're so deeply linked. I mentioned Stanley Tucci. I love him. i was like, I just love this Wait, wait.
00:37:57
Speaker
Can you pause while I tell you why I cannot stand Stanley Tucci? hey Yes, please tell me. All because of one movie. And I think it may have been the first movie that I saw him in. And it it was, I don't know, maybe 10, 15 years ago, but Lovely Bones.
00:38:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah, you have. a Yeah, that's the image that I have of him. That's fair. And I'm like, every time I see that man, I just want to strangle him. I hate this guy. If you have not seen Lovely Bones.
00:38:23
Speaker
I don't know if I want you to watch it. That's why I like him. Because I haven't seen, I remember, I think I read the book and I was like, I will not be watching the film or like I knew about something and I was like, it's a no for me. So this makes sense.
00:38:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. yeah I respect that. That makes complete sense. You have an affinity for him. So I'm going to, uh, because I've seen him like devil was Prada. You know what I mean? So it's like, I'm like, Oh, he's the best.
00:38:48
Speaker
Oh my God. That is hilarious. I love that. I, and actually watched, was watching him recently on a show with, um, I always butcher her last name, Ina Garton. Um, and he was, I, he's mentioned that character and i was like, Ooh, thank God. I didn't know. Like, thank God. i don't know if I'd look you the same. So that's absolutely hilarious. You mentioned that that was like three days ago.
00:39:06
Speaker
I watched that. Um, but for me, why I love him or any great actor, like Meryl Streep, all these amazing, amazing talents is, they really are in the present, in the present moment. And something I said about Stanley Tucci is why, again, I don't know the but the guy, you know, I don't know his personal life, but, but the persona that I am projecting and, you know, making up in my brain, why I love it is and why I admire him is for me, it's like, that is an artist.
00:39:33
Speaker
I love how he talks about food. Like that is someone that like is a full artist and is like present, but does film and food and this and that. And, and, and I just, again, I don't even know how I got here with the Stanley Tucci train, but I think that like, for me, that was, that's someone that I'm like, I want to be that like, that's,
00:39:54
Speaker
how I want to meld and leave my legacy is not just an actress, not just a coach. Um, I want to be an artist of life. Like I want to be an artist of like, I want to be someone that's like that person lived like that person lived out loud, whether she was in a coaching session, whether she was speaking, whether she was in a commercial, whether she was doing a voiceover kind of irrelevant, like in a way, right? Like, but like,
00:40:22
Speaker
that person like lived out loud. Um, and that's why I think I'm so attracted to, you know, the arts. Like I w I want to, I want to, I want to live, like I want to live out loud. And and part of um, my background, my training is, is Tantra and that's all about aliveness.
00:40:41
Speaker
Um, and and being alive and the beauty of being alive is is pleasure and oh my god you know like bliss but also being alive is deep heartbreaking grief wow you know like that you can't have one without the other you can and and and i'm grateful that i've gotten to a point i mean it's not fun but that i can look at um I'll just, I'll just go here. I'm going to get comfortable. Um, cause I'm like, let's get comfortable. Cause we're talking about vulnerability. Um, I think this is important, but, um, my father who I'm absolutely um obsessed with, like stupidly, he's like, please get away from me.
00:41:24
Speaker
Um, I'm obsessed with, uh, past just, I can't even do the math five, four months ago. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's okay. It's brutal. It's brutal. it's brutal And, um, or as we say, you know, it's okay. It's not okay. But thank I thank you. You know, like the, the but like it's, it's brutal.
00:41:41
Speaker
And, wow, has his death taught me so much about living. Like I went to the ends of the earth. Like we, we, we were his like hospice care and we were right there through the, group through things. I'm like, I should have never seen that. That was yeah traumatic. And I remember being like, going to process this trauma after like, I'm like, that's for later. Like, I know this is no good, but like we're here we are.
00:42:08
Speaker
But I remember saying to my mom, I was like, mom, we're like a death doula. She's like, what's a doula? I'm like, all right, I'm trying to make a spiritual conversation. But I was like, we are ushering him into death.
00:42:23
Speaker
And that taught me so much about my aliveness. um And I remember he did me such he did me so many good, good deeds and good services, et cetera. But he did me such a ah beautiful thing. um He would always say, you know, because he knows me and he'd be like, Erica, Erica, I need you to live.
00:42:44
Speaker
Cause I think he knows, like, he's like, I need you to live. Like you need to live. And that has been such ah blessing. Like seeing that And I'm like, yeah, I want to live. Like I want to live. And this is a man.
00:42:59
Speaker
he wanted more, right? Like that was his, he, I remember he said at the end, he's like, i'm just so bummed. Like, I'm just so bummed. Cause he wants to live more, but there really was no rock rock. Of course there's more, you know, but like, there was no rock overturned, like unturned.
00:43:13
Speaker
Like he was like, I'm going to live out loud. um and for me that know what we started this all with Stanley Tucci, but it does come back to like ah that, that aliveness. Like I want to be, you know, for my nephew is that person that they're like, she's a total, you know, crazy, but like, but and she's funny. She lives out loud. She's living and like, and how cool is she? And I'll, I'll say this too. ah I know i'm on story time, but, um,
00:43:37
Speaker
I had ah ah my PR agent reach out to someone to pitch me for something. And the woman was so offended. And she said, what you know, like, why would you pitch me?
00:43:48
Speaker
did She's an, cause it was for a coaching thing. She does acting too. Can she not decide what she wants? Oh, wow. And I was like, I was so hurt. I was like, I'm ashamed. Yeah, I'm a fool. Maybe I should take acting off of my LinkedIn, you know, and just be...
00:44:03
Speaker
And then ah it took me a few weeks and i said, no, hold on. This is the whole point of what I teach. Like, this is the whole point. Like I want to lit. Like I want all of the textures. I want all of, i want all of it.
00:44:15
Speaker
um And that's just, that's your law. You know what i mean? And i'm I'm over now, but like, that's your loss because that is such a gift. And I think, you know, I'm going on this tear, but that's my gift. You know, that's my gift, my hope and my intention for everyone that we can,
00:44:30
Speaker
try it all that we can have it all. all because We deserve it all. And exactly abundance is our birthright. Yes. Abundance in,
Self-Love and Acceptance
00:44:38
Speaker
in interest, abundance in, uh, the, the love and community and people in our lives, the abundance and just joy and fun and peace. And so, yes, yes.
00:44:48
Speaker
you I love that and and continue to live and live out loud and and do that. i i think I want to I want to transition and talk a little bit. So I look at vulnerability as the ultimate expression of self-love and that in order to love the person that I am today, I have to love all the different parts of my past. Yeah. Right. The parts that were a teenager who was, you know, not so great. And then this this older individual who um made some mistakes and learned some lessons and all of those different parts of me.
00:45:23
Speaker
Like in order to sit here and say, i love what I've become through those experiences. Like ah have to love those things. I have to find a peace and acceptance for those things. um Talk about what self-love does for or how self-love shows up in your work.
00:45:39
Speaker
and and how you employ that for your clients i love that and you made such a good point because i i always say that too it's like it's really low it's really easy for me to love my best self like when i'm hashtag thriving you know what i mean like yeah that person you know of course there's some stuff but like that's like a pretty easy pathway yeah oh when i have to look at some of my crunchy, weird stuff, it's not as easy. You know what I mean? Like that's like, that's a, that's a journey. And, and I'm so glad that you mentioned that because I think, um, that is the full spectrum of really loving ourselves, every piece, every face of ourselves, um, I think is so important. and again, I think we often talk, um, I always say this, I'm, I'm glad as a society, we're talking more about self-love. Like, thank God. Yes.
00:46:27
Speaker
And sometimes it could get a little bit hashtag on ands like hashtag Instagrammable. You know what i mean? Like hashtag self love and yeah people feel, okay, I love the the version of me that wakes up at 5am and drinks a green juice and...
00:46:42
Speaker
you know what i mean? Like, I'm like, cool, cool, cool, cool. cool That person's really likable. You know, like, v what about you that has done something, some, some crunchy things, you know what Like, or like can be a little manipulative or that, that, that, you know, like, what about that?
00:46:57
Speaker
Like, what, what is, what does that look like? And for me, the visual of getting behind all these different like faces of myself or, or versions of myself has been extremely,
00:47:10
Speaker
healing and, and helpful. Um, also, I mean, to mention, you know, it's like, I've given more grace to other people too. Yes. You know, I'm like, it's cool.
00:47:21
Speaker
Like I see you, you know, like I don't have these, like these, and you know, these crazy expectations on myself and other people. Um, I think that's been very permission giving. Um, and quickly to answer, like I said, for me, the pleasure, Oh my God, the pleasure, self love pathway Who knew?
00:47:40
Speaker
who knew? I thought I didn't know I was going to get this. Like, I'm thrilled. But like, that has been that has been amazing. And also to mention, how do I love myself?
00:47:55
Speaker
How do I make myself right when I'm not choosing pleasure?
00:48:00
Speaker
Does that make sense? Cause I think for me, and this is just, this is very centric to me, but like, especially since I'm in this world, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. pleasure pleasure I've set these expectations. And again, of running through New York city, you know, whatever, like life is so different right now. I'm in a totally different phase of life.
00:48:18
Speaker
How can I get behind my rightness in this season? Does that make sense? so like, how can I get behind all these different versions of myself and, and make it enough? Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:30
Speaker
So that has been profound doing the pleasure work, but also when I'm avoidant of the pleasure work. And that doesn't mean stay avoidant. You what I mean? That doesn't mean like, let me stay here. I got message for you.
00:48:41
Speaker
yeah got a message for you. You are enough. has Yes, it is on my shirt. Yes. so i I, that is, that is
Impact of Self-Love on Social Interactions
00:48:53
Speaker
really good. And i think like when, when you said like you showing up and and loving yourself, it has allowed you to extend grace to other people. Yeah, totally.
00:49:04
Speaker
Cause you see them, right. You see them, you recognize that they're humans before they are an asshole. They're humans. Before they are the person that cut you off, they're human.
00:49:15
Speaker
Like whatever it is, you, you, you see the humanity in people.
Holistic Coaching Approach
00:49:19
Speaker
Uh, I, I, the, all of this connecting to self empowerment or sexual empowerment, how does that work? And what, worked what, what do you do with your clients to, to lift them up and feel empowered in that way?
00:49:35
Speaker
And, and like, what would someone expect of a self sexual empowerment coach? I love this. so And again, it it shifts, right? So some days we might be talking about sexual empowerment. Some days it might be pleasure. Some days it might be worth, you know, what it all we weave my particular practice.
00:49:51
Speaker
I mix kind of, you could say traditional talk therapy mixed with somatic practices. So that means like, you know, an example, like eyes closed visualization, or we go to different parts of ourselves.
00:50:03
Speaker
Um, I mix and weave because I think sometimes we're certain tools hit for people and also certain things are appropriate, right? Like sometimes it's Hey, I just need to process for my mind or today. Oh, oh we got to go into the body. And like, I got to find, like, that I just found something that I've been holding on till, you know, since I was seven years old.
00:50:21
Speaker
Um, so that's just a little cliff notes of, of kind of how I, I work with, with folks. Um, but for me, the sexual empowerment, the self-love, the plot, like this is, it's just all, it's so funny. um'm And I'm so glad that you, you, you brought this up because I always say like, it's so hard to explain that we're getting into, it like, we're talking about it deeply. But if I meet someone at a dinner party and say sexual empowerment, it's like, well, I mean, first of all, it's like, I mean, you can go a few ways, but it's like what? Like, I don't need that. Or like, that's crazy. Or like, tell me stories or I have a story for you. And I'm like, cool. Like I'm down for all of the above, but like that isn't even the entrance.
00:51:01
Speaker
Wow. To the work. And i I do do myself a little and this is, you know, im i'm no shade to myself, but I do do myself a little bit of disservice because I think I from a marketing background, transparently, I think I need to let people in a little bit more than just saying sexual empowerment.
00:51:20
Speaker
So when people people get a taste, they're like, ah oh, my God, that is yes, or sexual empowerment. But like, Whoa, whoa. And so think part of my lesson in vulnerability, because that's scary, it's easier to be like sexual empowerment or dating or love. though Those things are beautiful.
00:51:37
Speaker
Part of my vulnerability edge is like opening the door. yeah And really allowing people to see, whoa, this is like deeply spiritual transformational work.
00:51:48
Speaker
Yes. And for me, it depends on what season I'm in, but I find myself opening and closing the door. You know, and so it's like, okay why am I as a cool? We're closing the door.
00:51:59
Speaker
But I it's funny that you bring this up because I am in a season of life where the door is closed right with dad and there's a lot going on. It's kind of like keep things kosher, keep things ah as as usual.
00:52:09
Speaker
But I am ready to even though it's scary, I'm getting hit with like the reopen the door a little bit to show people really kind of what what goes on.
00:52:20
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I love that. ah love that. What are your ideal clients look like? Okay. Everyone always like, what's your client ideal avatar? And it then never fit. I, quite literally have, everyone. Yeah.
00:52:35
Speaker
everyone And people like what does that mean? like and i'm like And I'm like, I know I am a business coach's personal hell. Like, I know. Like, you know what I mean? They're like, it's a woman in their throat. And I'm like, no, it isn't quite literally not. Like, I've had at one point in time, 18-year-olds to 75-year-olds.
00:52:53
Speaker
Wow. Right? Like, and an 18-year-old might have gone through a bad breakup and they're just, you know, are set, dot, dot, dot. When I mean I've had every human under the sun, I've had, have had every human under sun. And again, every business coach hates that.
00:53:06
Speaker
But I think that's the beauty of this work. Yeah. i I mean, it's, it's your, it goes back to you want to be an artist of life for life. Totally. And you and have the abundance of all those things. Like you shouldn't have to limit yourself to a particular avatar.
00:53:22
Speaker
yeah. I love that. That makes me want to cry. It fits with everything that you've told me thus
Value of Diversity in Work
00:53:28
Speaker
far. So, yeah. And you know, I love that. I'm laughing because i'm I remember I, this like really is going age me. Ew. can't believe I'm going saying that sentence because that ages me. But I remember I used to like burn CDs and I remember like, oh my God, did we even do that?
00:53:42
Speaker
But I used to burn CDs and it was like the craziest eclectic mix. I mean, I'm still the same, but ridiculous. yeah And I remember i was like, oh, this is so cool. And then I remember feeling shame about that. Like, that's like, no, no, no, you should stick with that. So you just like clicked a memory for me. Like, i was like, this is so cool. Like, this is genuinely who I am. Like, I could have this, but I could have Broadway, but I could have it. Like, it could be everything. Everything. And like, I want to live like that. That's awesome. And then I remember getting older. It's like, no, no, Erica, pick a lane. Like, that's embarrassing. That's shameful.
00:54:14
Speaker
And so you gave me such peace that I'm like, yeah, this is, a I don't, I don't want to meet with the same type of God bless. yeah I don't want to meet with the same type of person burnout for you.
00:54:24
Speaker
you You, would see the same person over and over and over the same stories, the same, and that would be
Need for Rest and Community Support
00:54:28
Speaker
burnout for you. So you're keeping the life in what you do. Thank you. i love that. And trying to keep authentic. Yes. Yes.
00:54:35
Speaker
Stay true to that. I love it. Thank you. That's so. You, I wanna, I wanna, before we wrap up, get into a segment, fill in the blank. And um and you've mentioned SOS or seeking help multiple times. So the first is I need help with blank.
00:54:54
Speaker
oh Rest.
00:54:59
Speaker
Rest currently. Yeah. Well, how can people help you with that? Oh, I love that.
00:55:11
Speaker
I think I need to delegate more in ways that are not traditionally delegating. It's funny. I pulled a, a, a, like an Oracle card this month and I actually got like delegate. I'm like, nah, it doesn't resonate. I don't need like, that's not now I'm like, Oh God universe. That's enough. Like stop and stop.
00:55:28
Speaker
But I think it's, it's not the traditional, like ask this person to do this. Right. I think it's more leaning on community to remind me that I'm safe.
00:55:41
Speaker
so that i can rest.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yes. Yes. I love that. I love that. so me Let me be one of the first. You are safe. Right here, right now. You are safe.
00:55:57
Speaker
You are enough. You've done enough. Now it's time to just be b right here. And i want to connect this also back to, the passing of your father and give yourself the space to grieve.
00:56:11
Speaker
Give yourself space to, to be sad and be upset and be mad at the world and whatever it was that, that he died of. Yeah. and to feel that,
00:56:22
Speaker
And to know that you're going to be OK, you're going to bounce back and you're going to have an amazing legacy that reaches a lot of people and heals a lot of souls. But just like you said earlier, we're cyclical.
00:56:34
Speaker
And this may be a moment of rest that you desperately need. And to take that, to give yourself permission to take that.
Strength, Resilience, and Magic in Life
00:56:42
Speaker
Huh. I'm obsessed with you. I'm listening to this. i'm I'm like, I'm going to be listening to this part of the podcast a hundred times. It's like fall asleep.
00:56:51
Speaker
Thank you. That is so powerful. Definitely. ah All right. Back to fill in the blank. um My biggest strength is blank.
00:57:02
Speaker
Strength. I know that's great, but like I'm, I didn't realize it was through my dad's death and I'm like, I'm tough. tough. Cause I didn't think I would, cause I'm a clown. Yeah, I was a clown. You know, like I leaned on that story. I'm a clown. I'm stupid. He, he, I'm li bear um like, Oh, I'm strong. like, I, that has been like a, uh, forgive part of my French. I'm a tough B and I didn't know, like I, I, I feel, I'm them like, I am strong. and And after dad's passing, I've been through other, you know, God bless everything's okay. But like medical things and I have faced my personal hell
00:57:40
Speaker
a million times over the last few years. But, and I'm like, Oh, this is my personal health is my personal health. like, let's go. Like, look at straight, straight in the eye. And I'm like, I don't want to do this, but let's go. so I'm,
00:57:55
Speaker
I'm glad that I can be both fluffy and the popcorn coming out of my mouth, girl. Like, you know, like I could be, like, i have that capacity to be like, wow. But also like you also could be tough. Like, you know, and I'm like, yes. Like I'm so proud that I could see my strength too.
00:58:10
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Oh, I love that. I love that. If you could tell your younger self one thing, it would be blank. Oh, you're so cute. Just like, yeah just like you're so cute. And like,
00:58:27
Speaker
a This is such like a, um but to the best of your ability, don't lose your magic. Don't internalize, you know, what people say. Don't, don't keep it moving, but like keep, keep prioritize your magic and magic is real.
00:58:43
Speaker
Like magic is real. The goodness is real. Keep fighting for that. I love it. I love it. And lastly, when I need inspiration, I turn to blank.
00:58:55
Speaker
Ooh. My community. um i Anybody in particular? Yeah, I think it's like, sure, I could go on the like inspirational train, you know, and like find my teachers and stuff. But I think the people that I lean on, um i have a good group, and which is such a blessing of ah people that I've done like trainings with and certifications with.
00:59:18
Speaker
And um they hold me in the balance of like, Erica, you know, like that that and give me concrete tools and technology. So I think those are my, my people and my husband too.
00:59:31
Speaker
Cause he's also the op, like I'm, we're the same person, but he also sees, uh, how do I say? He sees situations. Yeah, he's yeah. yeah that do Yeah, exactly. He sees me and he could see love it like the sometimes I sadly I hate to admit this is a part that I don't love about myself. I could be very positive, but I also can go to catastrophize and he doesn't catastrophize. He's are going there? And so he holds that in our relationship, which is amazing.
01:00:03
Speaker
Good, good, good. I love that. I love that. Oh, this has been a fantastic conversation and we could talk for, for way more time.
01:00:13
Speaker
Is there anything, any final thoughts, any final messages that you want to leave the audience maybe in their journeys of embracing vulnerability, loving themselves, finding that peace in their life?
01:00:25
Speaker
I love, i love, yeah i almost like how I said to my inner little girl, like, and to my inner little self, like the magic is real. Um, this is a worthwhile conversation. There's a reason that you're here and there's a reason why you listened to the whole episode or that you even picked up this particular episode. Like there's a reason there's something inside of you. That's like,
01:00:49
Speaker
That's tinkling. Tinkling, that's twinkling, tinkling too, whatever. Tinkling, twinkling, it's shining, um sparkling over this conversation. There's something inside of you that's huh, that resonates.
01:01:00
Speaker
And so my invitation is, how can we presence pleasure, presence goodness into your life? I always say it's like a pie graph, right? It's like... If we're looking at our life and it's money, career, family, great. Keep it all.
01:01:16
Speaker
But my invitation is, can we add pleasure? Can we add joy? Can we add spiritual growth? Like, can we add those things? Don't take anything away, but like, can we add those a piece of the
Resources and Conclusion
01:01:27
Speaker
pie?
01:01:27
Speaker
um because it's, so it's such a worthwhile cause. So, um, like your childlike self fight for, fight for the magic. Fight for the magic. I love it. I love it.
01:01:39
Speaker
Erica, how can people get in touch with you if they want to reach out about this episode or maybe work with you? Yes, I am. I love free goodies. I believe in free goodies. I love the free gifts on gifts.
01:01:51
Speaker
So I have a few really quickly. I have the podcast, which we mentioned. Welcome to the Weeder Life. um i have an e-book from perfectionist to pleasure, ah pleasure expert. And I have one-to-one consultation because, you know, it's aggressive to jump into coaching with someone. if You know, you might be like, I don't know if I like Erica's flavor.
01:02:09
Speaker
So what I do in the consultation, it's a full session. And at the end of the conversation, it's like, hey, do we want to explore this? Or you're like, hey, yes, but do you have a recommendation for this coach? Absolutely. Or this therapist? Absolutely. So I always say, take it. It's free. You know what i mean? Then yeah we can explore together. Or if you're like, actually I'm looking more for this. Cool. Like it's there. It's a free opportunity.
01:02:30
Speaker
Um, so that one-on-one conversation, the ebook and blog slash podcast is on my website, which is www.wethelight.org. So we, the light.org and then on Insta at we, the light underscore LLC.
01:02:44
Speaker
um, And then if you're like, hey, I feel inspired to send you a line, and send me a line directly. And that's info at wetelight.org. But you can book a session. You get all those free goodies on the website, which is available ASAP.
01:02:56
Speaker
Yes, I love it. I love it. And I hope that many people reach out to you to connect and ah find their confidence, find their empowerment and love themselves. So, Erica, with all the things that you could be doing and all the places you could be, I appreciate you being here with me embracing vulnerability.
01:03:13
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you for joining us in another episode of Vulnerability Muscle. If you've enjoyed these conversations around vulnerability, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback not only motivates us to continue to do the work that we do, but it allows other people to witness the power of vulnerability.
01:03:32
Speaker
Share your thoughts. on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, or wherever you're listening from. And don't forget to spread the word. You can follow us at vulnerabilitymuscle on Instagram and me personally at Reggie D. Ford across all platforms.
01:03:48
Speaker
Visit vulnerabilitymuscle.com for additional resources and support. And remember, embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. It is the source of your greatest strength.
01:03:59
Speaker
Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but most workouts are. So keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.