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The Worst Gambling Advice You'll Ever Receive ft. @nuckssleepdemon
228 Plays2 months ago
A new Sens season is on the horizon, and that means it's time for our season predictions. Joined by one of our favourite posters, Twitter user @nuckssleepdemon, we make sure none of our listeners will ever make a single penny off of sports gambling, as we give our takes on the Sens' record, the leading goalscorer, and other, equally normal and serious questions going into the 2024-25 season.
Follow us on Twitter and Bluesky @elitesensbrain or @CBeataE and @erikssonsburner, or follow us on tumblr at elitesensbrain.tumblr.com.
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Transcript
Confusion and Introductions
00:00:06
Speaker
I ran Michigan. I don't even know what he was thinking. He was just a complete birdcat. Greedy Kachunk. Amos is my best friend. I got a lot of good-looking nukes on my team. You just got nuked. I've got them. I've got them, we'll see.
00:00:21
Speaker
Hey everyone, and welcome to episode Silverberg of Elite Sun's Brain. As always, I'm Viata, and I am joined, first of all, by my incredible co-host, Twitter user, at Ericsson's Brighter, who I will let introduce our special guest for this episode. Exciting! Okay, hi
Guest Introduction and Disclaimer
00:00:42
Speaker
everyone. i We are joined by An incredible Twitter user who we've shouted out multiple times on this podcast. I believe I've accidentally stolen some jokes. Um, so I'm sorry for that, but we are joined by wonderful Twitter user at Nux sleep demon. How are you doing today? I'm doing well. You're totally welcome to steal my joke. They're not very unique to begin with. So, you know, whatever. Actually, I think like, you know, that thing, like you have never had an original thought because of all the humans in history.
00:01:14
Speaker
I believe that you might be the person producing the most original thoughts like on Earth today. and and topic, I do think that we need to begin this episode with a little disclaimer. ah Just based on the tweets that we have seen from our guests, I feel it is necessary to start by informing everyone that the views expressed by guests on Elite Sen's Brain are their own and not representative of the views of the podcast. Any threats of violence or allegations of homosexuality made toward members of the Ottawa Senators or other hockey players are merely jokes
00:01:49
Speaker
and do not reflect the views of Elite Senspring, its hosts, or Silver7. Anyways, now we may continue.
NHL Season and Roster Speculations
00:01:57
Speaker
I don't know what you're talking about, guys. I've never done either of those things, so kind of um of messed up, but whatever. I guess I'll stay. Yeah, yeah, we were worried we were going to scare you away a little bit there. um Anyways, how how are you doing? How are you feeling about this new season that's going to start soon?
00:02:17
Speaker
me Yeah, of course you. Oh, god. Um, I mean, I guess we'll see. It's good that like we have a gold tender now. Do we have a defense core of forward group remains to be seen. um Also, as a person who experienced um Travis green hockey in Vancouver. Right.
00:02:47
Speaker
Yeah, I will definitely see, I guess. I think we discussed this on a different episode, but we never got your thoughts, obviously, because it's your first time on the podcast. Who do you think is going to throw up after? 100% Tyler Boucher, just because he gives off all the vibes in that like he's going to throw up at the bank gate and we'll never hear from him again.
00:03:14
Speaker
We don't know what they do with the guys who throw up at camp. Is Tyler Boucher even coming to camp? I don't know, but maybe, maybe Tyler's green will do it at, like, rookie camp or something, like... Yeah. But, I mean, is he coming to rookie camp? If we're talking about... I guess he must be. I just, in my head, Tyler Boucher is gone. Like, he doesn't exist anymore. That's true. Like, can you, can you be an Oli Ulebi if, like, you disappear before you throw up at training camp?
00:03:38
Speaker
remains be seen um If we're talking about main camp though, who's even on the roster? like real When you also said Tyler Boucher, I took like three seconds in my head to be like, who is that? I couldn't remember. I couldn't call him to mind. Well, that's why he's the person throwing up. I think, oh my god, who's on our third line? This season preview is off to a great start. We're really proving how much we know. audio editor The roster. yeah you know the roster i really I don't know, I feel like there are a few players that I could see just like going way too hard in training camp. But also it's like, because it's like, I feel like with bag skating, everyone's going to be going hard. So it's really who's out of shape, you know? Yeah, I think like the usual suspects like Pichak, Stutzla, Sanderson, Shabbat, all of those people have like pretty good fitness levels. So I'm not it's
00:04:36
Speaker
It's gonna have to be one of the wild cards. Like, I don't know if we can like Michael Amadio or something. i custom do some good I saw his name on Twitter today. and I like easy recall. Michael Amadio. You know that thing? It's like, like, they'll just name some guys.
00:04:58
Speaker
I feel like this has been a real name some guys so far. Like Tyler bouch like Boucher. Tyler Boucher and Michael O'Madio are some real good pulls. Yeah. Don't take this as your fantasy hockey advice section. But those are certainly some
Betting Fun and Event Highlights
00:05:13
Speaker
guys. This episode is sponsored by Bet99. Michael O'Madio is your Norris trophy winner. Put all your money on it right now. Put all your money.
00:05:29
Speaker
Gambling is really fun. Once again, the music's best way to guess is a defense win. He's not a defense win. I I was like, the sense to contest that, so I agree with you. He will be the Norse winner. Yeah, the Norse trophy winner put your life savings down on it. He is switching to defense. And he's going to win the North. Listen, entirely possible. Have you seen, obviously none of us know the roster, so like you might as well.
00:05:57
Speaker
yeah actually no i like I know the main guys, but like I have no idea who else is on this team actually. Yeah, um this is a great start to the first episode that we are recording since Claire Hannah subscribed to our podcast. So shout out to Claire if she's listening. I hope she's really impressed right now. like Not to put any pressure on people.
00:06:22
Speaker
Claire, if you need me to do an ad read for the gambling websites, I am available. um I do have some experience, boys acting. um However, it is only for school plays. so um It's still on my resume, guys. It's shooting your shot. I love it. Yeah, anyways, that was my my subtle way of segwaying to our first discussion topic, which is that i was I got to go to a very important event, Sun Season Launch events, and met lots of cool people, including Claire Hannah, who I'm assuming has already clicked out of the episodes, so we can just go on. It's generous. She clicked into it. That's a really a nice thing. You know what, Claire Hannah, I will say, very, very nice person, so absolute delight. And she came over to our table. And she was like, everyone, I want to know what you do. She's like, you know, pulling up people's Twitter to like, find out what we're doing. She knew what silver seven was. And when I said I have this podcast called elite sense range, like, what
00:07:28
Speaker
heard of that one I was like yeah I'm sure you haven't um but then she pulled up she pulled it off when she subscribed to it so I am choosing to believe I think I made such a good impression I think she was so charmed by me you know that uh um that she went and subscribed to the podcast and now she's going to listen to it.
Mascot Debate and Birthday Speculations
00:07:48
Speaker
We also had a great discussion about the big controversy about Spartakot's birthday. This was resolved resolved on Twitter. It turns out Sparty's birthday is, I want to say the 8th, but he celebrates it on different days. this was I was really concerned about this and Claire Hannah did promise a full-length investigation. I don't think it's necessary.
00:08:10
Speaker
yeah That's so funny. i'll say That's my report after this incident. Claire Hannah, like on the topic of Claire Hannah, the title of this episode is just like, please Claire Hannah, please, please, please listen, please, please, please. And then she's a but she immediately listens. It's like, we don't know anything about this to you. On the topic of Sparty's birthday, did anyone else sense like some snark coming out of it? I love him, but it was kind of like,
00:08:35
Speaker
Much like a child's birthday party, I change my birthday party every year. I was like, okay. Well, you know what, it wasn't obvious. this like then Oh yeah, I go to like the closest matinee. You're saying they're not scheduling matinees around your birthday. You have to strike for better like workers rights party. I'm sorry. And there were definitely some birthdays that were nowhere near his birthday.
00:09:01
Speaker
that's why it was a whole controversy everyone was trying to figure out when his real birthday was i think there was also some stuff about his age not being entirely clear it was just it was a mess and people wanted answers because every single time everyone acted well the team acted like it was spartacat's real birthday and i feel like they owe us a bit more honesty about when his real birthday is like he could have been like I understand the confusion because it made no sense but he could just kind of like well like I obviously he didn't say this the subtext I kind of got was like well obviously and I was like well well then why don't the stents tweet happy birthday Spartakat on his real birthday and then have a celebration no they always act like it's his real birthday on my birthday party. I'm starting to believe
00:09:54
Speaker
that he might not have a real birthday and in fact they're doing it for some kind of marketing thing. I know, that's crazy. i don't I don't think, I don't believe that. Sorry. There's just no way. I can't believe that a birthday trister. Yeah. I need to see his birth certificate. Wow, okay.
00:10:16
Speaker
That's a dog whistle if I've ever heard it, yeah. But where was he born? Was he born like in Ottawa? is he I sure hope so. Okay, but like people who aren't born in Ottawa can also be fans of the Ottawa Senators. But can they be the mascot of the Ottawa Senators? Biata, you are being racist right now. That's not cool, Biata. You're saying immigrants can't be mascots of the Ottawa Senators? What the hell?
00:10:48
Speaker
I'm just saying, I need to know that he was born in Ottawa. if He's going to be the mascot of the Ottawa Senators. The disclaimer at the beginning was for you. I will be posting an apology in one week. It'll be a notes app apology. Get ready. I personally think that I welcome anyone with open arms. So I don't care if sorting out was born in Ottawa or not. Even if he was born in Toronto?
00:11:18
Speaker
If he was born in Toronto and he gave up on the Maple Leafs, he's one of us. Okay, it's true. That does make him an icon. Maybe it's okay.
Friendships and Team Dynamics
00:11:26
Speaker
yeah The most sense-pilled thing to be, I still think the most sense-pilled is being like from Ottawa. Not necessarily born in Ottawa, but Ottawa is in your heart. The second most sense-pilled thing is being from somewhere else in Southern Ontario and just being like, I'm actually going to be a sense fan. Yeah. Because that's like, you are a stick-o then. Yeah.
00:11:47
Speaker
It's like you're just a contrarian. yeah Which is part of it. yeah anyways yeah Also, I've met lots of cool people, and Linus Ulmerc was there, and he is a delightful, very funny guy. I didn't like meet him one-on-one, but he had a little press conference. I got to eat the food that they were going to be offering on the concourse, and it was good, so if if you're going to a SENS game,
00:12:15
Speaker
um There's lots of good food, you know, it's a good experience. I don't know how else, what else I'm supposed to do to advertise it. And they gave us your favorite promotions. What was your favorite food? I don't know.
00:12:31
Speaker
I was all good. I don't know. I was really nervous. It kind of was, I sort of forgot everything, but I remember it being good. Um, yeah, I was, I was actually like, if people who met me there are listening, like you did not realize how stressed I was about this. Like I was terrified of like who would be there and like confronting me about my tweets. Um, so. Yeah.
00:12:54
Speaker
I also had not driven a car in two years. And that was the first time I had driven that it was all the way to the CTC. But like I survived. Yeah, they also gave us the promotion schedule. And it sounds like there's a lot of fun promotions happening. It should be a good time. Oh my gosh, one of the one of the major promotional events that I was most interested in were the bobblehead giveaways. um You did text me like the moment I posted a screenshot.
00:13:24
Speaker
Yeah, it's no particular reason um I don't make the bobbleheads kiss. I don't know who said that, but I will find them and I will hunt them down. I can't believe people would accuse you of that. Nothing in my tweet history should have people saying that accusation about me. It's unacceptable.
00:13:50
Speaker
with yeah which most hoping for I'm sorry, was that your question? I Thomas Shabbat bobblehead. For no particular reason. For no particular reason.
00:14:03
Speaker
if the sends release Let's just say that if the Sens release a certain other bobblehead next year, then you might be able to recreate a really famous Ottawa Senators picture. Yeah, absolutely. I don't know who you're referencing.
00:14:23
Speaker
But I would assume that the bubbleheading question would have a sling so that he doesn't injure any body part um attached to his arm, his upper body. What is it? What is it? Upper body injury out of commission. or Yeah, if they don't give him a sling, you'll have to make him one yourself. You don't have to go get parts of crafts.
00:14:49
Speaker
So totally unrelated because I know you would never make the bobbleheads kiss. um We wanted to go into some questions about the upcoming sun season. So the first thing on everyone's mind is which teammate do you think Thomas Chabot will have a home erotic friendship with? Because you know, he had Josh Norris a few years ago. Last year it was Jacob Chikrin.
00:15:12
Speaker
And, you know, he's a married man, but he was engaged last year and he was still hanging out with Jikren. So is he going to find someone new? What's going to happen? I believe in him. I think he's going to settle down. um Everyone knows I don't believe in polyamory. I think it's fake. um um So he better settle down. No, I think um whoever his new defense partner is, is who if if they're good at their job, but he will have a homoerotic relationship with them. If they're bad at their job, but no chance. I actually have another prediction. I think it'll be Linus Olmerc. Olmerc is in the market for a new homoerotic friendship. And Thomas Shabbat loves bullies. I feel like it's just a match made in heaven. No, I definitely agree that Olmerc's the number one candidate. um I do wonder
00:16:08
Speaker
if either Sanderson takes Chikren's place as another felt like raw eat meter, like maybe that's what he was attracted to, um or Josh. I think Sanderson is his son. That's the thing. That's true. I think it'd be really fucked up. Like it wouldn't be okay. But I think that maybe Josh Norris makes a return as Thomas Chabot's lover. But I don't I don't believe in him, guys. like And maybe this is me nagging him a little bit, Josh, if you're listening. I don't think you can do it. I don't believe in you. One, finishing the season without a career-threatening injury. And two, rekindling your home erotic friendship with ah Thomas Chabot. Sorry. maybe we'll Maybe he'll be really jealous this year, you know? Yeah.
00:17:01
Speaker
said no. art or el c Or maybe, you know, after last season, when he had to sit in the press box and watch Thomas Chabot and Jacob Chikrin do whatever it is they're doing. Like, maybe he's feeling insecure and he really, really needs to like get his man back. So maybe we'll see like, you know, more of that from him.
00:17:23
Speaker
it does feel like the trope of like you see like your ex with someone who is like insane like I can't imagine what it was like watching from afar like him go after a man who is like ate raw meat publicly and like had parasites I feel like you just might be like what no I was so good to you Like you can do so much better. Yeah. And then to attend his wedding right after that too, man. So our next question is what will Lina's Almark and Anton Forsberg's post-win celebration be? Because Almark said he's not going to have, you know, obviously the the hug that he had with Swamen is not carrying over to Ottawa, but he's going to do something different.
00:18:10
Speaker
What do we think he will do? I can only think of one thing now. I don't know what to say. Maybe they'll like dance or something. Maybe they'll have like a friendship handshake or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. I mean, maybe they'll kiss on the mouth, but who knows? I was like, I was like, I wanted to say kiss on the mouth, but then I was like, I don't know. I feel like Because I feel like that is the only way to like one up because I think some people talk like he's not going to hug him as like, okay, like that was the most meaningful relationship, like, Omar can sway men or whatever. So it's like, Oh, he won't even hug someone else. But it'd be great if they just yeah, fully like made out at center ice because then it's like, Oh, he won't hug him because he's like, I had different things in mind. That'd be nice.
00:18:57
Speaker
Yeah. I was gonna say that they're going to... I don't know. What can I say on your podcast? Do you have the... Do you have sensors? No. Okay. um I think they're gonna... that' fine Leave that in. Meaning, meaning they're gonna go on a lovely trip to Paris, France. After everyone, yeah. Diana, why are you laughing? What the hell?
00:19:28
Speaker
What are you thinking? No, mar no, no. It's just so funny to think of them doing that.
November Predictions and Training Concerns
00:19:38
Speaker
um Anyways, that that was our warm up with the silly questions. Now, we need the serious questions. How many games will the Ottawa Senators win in the month of November?
00:19:48
Speaker
Wait. I call zero as my answer. That's my answer. I'm gonna look at how many games there are. i I'm actually, okay, this this was gonna be my prediction last year and I don't think we did predictions.
00:20:01
Speaker
I because I would have been so wrong. I think that they are going to lose the first game in November. And then they're going to go undefeated from there on out in the month of November. So they're going to lose the first game, we're all going to freak out. And then they're going to just win every game. And then they'll start losing in December instead.
00:20:28
Speaker
See, my prediction is they're going to lose my first game and then just lose all the rest. That's what I think. They play. yeah they play i so I looked at the schedule. They play the Toronto Maple Leafs, and they're always giant haters for the Leafs and the Habs. So they're going to win at least one game. That's a good answer. True. Yeah, yeah. So collectively, we've agreed at least one.
00:20:53
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I will say one then because I i really, am I'm just gonna predict that they're gonna be really, really bad because then it's like, if I'm right, it's a hedge bet, right? It's like, if I'm right, and then I'm right. And if I'm wrong, then I'm happy. So like, I think they won't win any games all season, except against the Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadiens. Okay, not even saying they're gonna win the game against the Leafs because you know, they can also fuck that up. But they're gonna win one game in November, at least.
00:21:22
Speaker
Yeah, so I just checked there are 14 games in November. That's a lot of games. Oh, it for the Vancouver game, the Vancouver game at home is in November and they always lose that so badly. Oh, yeah, they're definitely losing that. So they're winning at least one and losing at least one. I'm glad we've narrowed it down. Again, honestly, I'm still I'm sticking out with my prediction undefeated in the month of November and then everyone runs victory laps and then they collapse.
00:21:50
Speaker
Again, if anyone needs gambling advice, please take it from me as long as I'm being paid. So no more free ads. Yeah, that's, that's a fair deal. You can expect your check in the mail soon. better Yeah. Um, so related to other topics that we discussed earlier in this podcast, which sense player do we think is going to injure their shoulder this year? Cause there's always one.
00:22:18
Speaker
I feel like Josh Norris is too much of an obvious answer, but it's like- So Josh Norris is gonna enter some unrelated body part to his shoulder. You know who I want to enter their shoulder? Oh no. I'll let you guess. I chatted my view. Once again.
00:22:39
Speaker
The views expressed by guests on this podcast do not reflect the views of Elite Sun's brain. We do not wish injury on any players. And neither does our guest. She's not going to say who. That was a joke, guys. It was that far. Yeah, yeah it was it was a joke. It's fine. I feel like it's going to be a wild card. It's going to be like some random player.
00:23:03
Speaker
I feel like Michael had his feet. Michael had his feet. Like, no, it was not a trophy! Guys, imagine if Brady Kachuk injures his shoulder. Like, Stutzler has had a shoulder injury already. Pinto has had one. Or maybe, no, it's gonna be Ridley Gregg. No! No, it's just that 2C, like, curse. It's the center curse. Yeah. I don't want it to happen. That's my prediction. You think Ridley Gregg's gonna be the 2C?
00:23:31
Speaker
Well, it's like anyone who could fill that role, I think you'll be the 3C, but you know. um Yeah, people actually got mad at me for saying that I thought Josh Norris would be ahead of Shane Pinto in the depth chart if he was um healthy. And I was like, oh boy, how far have we fallen? Oh my God. Yeah, that was on Silver 7. Go read our top 25 under 25 series.
00:23:54
Speaker
I have boring answers because it's the thing of like if you injure your shoulder, you're just going to injure it again. So like I think it'll be anyone who's ever injured their shoulder before. There are so many options. Yeah, maybe they all will. All at once. all I feel like another option could be Brady Kachuk takes a really ill-advised like fighting major against like some dude.
00:24:24
Speaker
Against who's the guy on the Rangers, the really tall child? Matt Rempe. Matt Rempe, yeah. Yeah, he's going to take a really advised five minute major against Matt Rempe and be up for the rest of the season. He's going to have like dad strength now, right? Which is crazy because he's 24. I also think that even without dad strength, Brady Kachuk can beat up Matt Rempe. I think he can beat up anyone in the league. He's like taking fighting lessons. You guys see that?
00:24:51
Speaker
That's weird. No puns to have. But yeah, I feel like that is a, if you're, if we're predicting like who is going to be out for the whole season, I could see it. Well, on the topic of shoulder injuries, what food do we think Josh Norris is going to eat in the press box? He's like, we're not, like it's a given that he's going to be injured at some point.
00:25:12
Speaker
Yeah. ah Well, maybe I should answer this because I know what's gonna be yeah there. What should he eat in the press box? I feel like he's gonna try the chicken shawarma nacho.
00:25:24
Speaker
He makes good choices. That sounds so good. I mean i feel like I see him with like, I don't think they sell this at the CTC, I see him with like a big rainbow lollipop in my mind's eye. But like I don't think that's gonna actually happen. Why would he think that? ah just like You know the spin top hat and stuff? I view him as like a child at a carnival. You two were were had different interpretations. We're picturing two different things here with the lollipop and the presspogs.
00:25:53
Speaker
Oh my god, if you're listening, guys, if anyone listening, and this is like their first Elite Sends Brain episode they're listening to, I promise we're not always like this. We're just talking to Claire Hannah, though. I know. But also, like, there were people who were over at my house the other day and who were asking me about my, like, Sends, the stuff I do with the Sends, and who also, like, looked up the podcast and subscribed to it. So I have, like, classmates who are probably listening to this for the first time.
00:26:21
Speaker
Oh no. I swear we don't always make these jokes. It's our guess. You've been a full book subscriber to Cat earlier then. Okay, yeah. Yeah, mean crit here yeah yeah and were to yeah it's not like we're not making any implications about any of these players. It's fine. I will say though, Dosh Norris, if there's a little lesbian lurking behind you at the Whole Foods,
00:26:49
Speaker
Cleans move out of her way so that she can grab her pasta. Have some respect for the short things among us. I don't know. It's pretty messed up. that It's pretty messed up.
00:27:04
Speaker
Yeah, where's where's the allyship? Especially towards someone who literally purchased a lesbian flag with his face on it. I don't know what you're talking about. Just hypothetically, if there was a small lesbian following him around at Whole Foods. I meant that as like a general, like a public service announcement for Josh North specifically, because he's listening to the podcast. Again, general statement. Also,
00:27:31
Speaker
Hypothetically, if that lesbian had a lesbian, Josh Norris flag, um she would ask that. People are understanding of it. It's a joke, guys. I'm not saying he's a lesbian, but I am saying I have seen him drink some tap water and we know what that does to the frogs. Men can be lesbian icons. ah Sure they can. Just as women can be gay icons. Hozier is a lesbian icon. There are so many men who are lesbian icons, and Josh Harris is one of them. But if he's not careful with his tap water but consumption, who's to say if he's gonna be a man who's a lesbian icon? That's all I'm saying. Wow, it sounds like you've been following Jacob Chikrin on Instagram recently.
00:28:20
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I'm an avid, I'm an avid jacob a pick-up pick-up man. Many people know this about me. um I will say that the main concerns I have for the Ottawa Senators are, are they wearing polyester underwear? Or are they drinking tap water? Like these things could affect their season. And I think we should include them in the season preview, I'm just saying.
00:28:48
Speaker
they are important things to consider.
Dietary Influences and Political Humor
00:28:50
Speaker
because of the implication and Yeah, and I mean, we've had the discussion just you and I about how how did this come about for Jacob Chikrin?
00:29:00
Speaker
did this start? Because you know this concern over ah hormones in the tap water and you know everything in our society is meant to feminize us and everything. This started after he came to Ottawa. so it's like was What happened? Did he walk into the locker room and and spot some problems and look for the solutions? right Was he upset about the way we were talking about him and Thomas Chabot and he was overcompensating?
00:29:28
Speaker
like I think that's way outside and you should make those kinds of implications about sense players. I think the real issue is he was in Kanata and you know, something's all right with Kanata. Yeah, he was just walking around. He saw some feminine frogs and he said,
00:29:48
Speaker
We're like, was he drinking the tap water and going, Oh, God, I can feel the effects right now. Personally, I hope the suns are drinking lots of tap water. I drink lots of tap water. I've loved the effects of it. I think that tap water turning you gay, nothing to be afraid of. Well, that's your opinion. And clearly we get our science from different sources because Me and Jacob know where it's at, but okay? Well, that that's probably a good segue into the next prediction that we have, which is, who will be the next Ottawa senator to start eating raw meat? And we're not including Jake Sanderson here, because Jake Sanderson has already begun. this is He's already in too deep. He started eating raw meat. Jacob Chikrin has taken ah credit for this.
00:30:38
Speaker
i and I don't think we've talked about this on the podcast. If Jake Sanderson is anything less than 100% healthy and has a career year this year, I will be so mad at yeah Jacob Chikrin. He will have ruined this team with his stupid raw meat diet. Anyways, who who do we think is going to be the next player to fall for this? The question is like who can get peer pressured by Jake Sanderson?
00:31:06
Speaker
I think. But like- Oh, so like Ridley Greig? Oh, yeah. The other thing is that Jake Sanderson has a career year by like coincidence or because of raw meat, probably because of coincidence if it happens. Everyone's gonna be like, oh bro, like that raw meat diet, I gotta get on that. yeah And then everyone's gonna get a parasite.
00:31:28
Speaker
So that's the thing, we can't win because either Jake Sanderson gets a parasite from the raw meat and we don't have him healthy all season or Jake Sanderson is perfectly healthy and has a career year and then suddenly everyone's eating raw meat. But the parasite is like controlling them like ratatouille. Like really good hockey. Maybe they can play really good hockey if they have that tape where I'm like telling them what to do. Yeah.
00:31:56
Speaker
new strat, but then they get called for like too many men, because technically they all know. The parasite counts. Yeah. Okay, but completely unrelated. um And you can cut this if you want, but I used to work at a summer camp.
00:32:15
Speaker
yeah And obviously like at the end of the year, everyone has all of the camp campers have lice 5n because like they're disgusting children. um But something we didn't expect was that um half of them would also get intestinal worms. Oh, okay. And we realized that they had intestinal worms um because we saw a bunch of the worms like going down the gym floor. It was really cute. Anyways.
00:32:47
Speaker
ah wow Oh my god. Back to the Ratatouille tapeworms. That's gonna be like Sven's training camp, unfortunately. They will win the bag skate.
00:33:00
Speaker
The tapeworm is gonna win the bag skate. Yeah. whoever but okay but like who truly Whoever has the tape room is going to lose the bag skate because they're going to throw the tape room up. It's going to be a whole disaster. It won't be good for anyone. and It's all jacob Jacob's fault. It's all Jacob's fault! They're also going to start just drinking bottled water all the time and it's going to be so bad for the environment.
00:33:28
Speaker
They're gonna be like, Jacob Chikrin is right about all these things. I like how we're assuming, we're just assigning all of these beliefs to Jacob Chikrin because he liked a handful of posts that are like, that include multiple insane statements. And we're just assuming he agrees with all of them. But I think it's funnier to assume that. Okay, but then he moved to Washington DC. And we all know why. Not saying that Jacob Chikrin must hold any political views, but I did. We know that he said, sorry, go.
00:33:57
Speaker
Yeah, I know, he's an RFK Junior guy. Most on brand for him, like that's the funniest option. And then like the day after he dropped out or something, it's like oh boy, NPR can't take it. RFK was like, Chikrin supporting me was one step too far guys. I know I did kill that bear in Central Park, but this one random hockey player supporting me is a step too far, I can't have that.
00:34:27
Speaker
so like Oh, like Jacob Chikrin saw like he had like a dead bear in Central Park, and he was like, and so picnics are now banned? like What they failed to mention was that the liver was cut out of the bear for no particular reason. And Chikrin was like, i as a person with brain worms, I need to be represented in the White House. and you Yeah, that's representational, that's, what is it, representative democracy in action, guys.
00:34:55
Speaker
let him vote for the crazy guy yeah the literal worm in his brain was like representation matters and was like wait so did we decide on a person who's gonna oh ridley greg or shane pinto whoever's like incredible i don't know do we know someone who's like constantly injured and might have good reason to be like adopting some weird diet because he's worried about his health And also maybe Jacob Chikrin was making some interesting comments about him in tap water. I don't know. I feel like I feel like it's going to be. chicken That was me.
00:35:37
Speaker
it True. but I know. I'm imagining that Jacob Chikrin said this, but no, it was not him. It was who was Twitter user at Nux sleep demon who thinks that Josh Norris is drinking too much tap water. Yeah, famously, um, I,
00:35:55
Speaker
It's like feminine things, though. Taftwater's on my hit list. We're gonna get in so much trouble for this episode. We just have to cut too many segments out. There's just like a 30-minute episode.
00:36:13
Speaker
Um, if you think it's now, we have to be like, what will Tim Stutzler do? Oh my god. It feels like a crazy. I don't have a segue. We just, it keeps coming back to calling players gay. Jacob Stikrin and Josh Norris, if you want to get on the spot and defend yourselves, please reach out. We would be happy to hear your perspective. And add an apology to that poor little lesbian at the Whole Foods.
00:36:46
Speaker
yeah Yeah, no idea who that is, but we do we are requesting an apology. No, but you you were standing in front of that vinaigrette aisle for way too long, and she couldn't get her dressing. It was really fucked up. What kind of vinaigrette did he get? I don't know. I wasn't there. We would have to ask the little lesbian. I'll get on that. I'll ask her. um Yeah, perfect.
00:37:12
Speaker
I don't even remember what question that was. Oh yeah, that was the raw meat one. Well, not all meat though. It's, you know, raw meats and vegetables, raw milk as well. Yeah. I don't know. I can see the raw milk. I know. And that's become a whole thing now. And it was like Jacob Chikrin, what a trailblazer.
00:37:36
Speaker
Anyways, I feel like Josh Norris is now at the point in his career, he's had so many injuries, that it's time to get weird, and he's just gonna go on a weird diet. And I feel like he is the the player who is in the most like vulnerable position, in terms of like getting into this. I feel like we've all overlooked the possibility that Brady Kachuk does it, simply because he looks like a dude who would eat raw milk and meat.
00:38:06
Speaker
That is a good point. Although, I don't know, I feel like, you know, I don't have that much faith in the Kachucks, but I do feel like Brady Kachuck has enough people around him who are like, no, raw milk isn't very good for you.
00:38:21
Speaker
Like, I mean, it kind of depends where Keith Kachuk is at right now in terms of ah how much of this content he's consuming. But I like, yes, I could see it. But the thing is, I feel like it would only happen if the whole Kachuk family started going on that diet.
Family Influence and Rivalries
00:38:40
Speaker
Because I just feel like he has so many people that he like trusts and like talks to and stuff, you know? Oh, he has a support system.
00:38:50
Speaker
Cause I feel like if Brady, you know, with called up Keith and was like, ah yeah, I've decided to start drinking just raw milk. Like if Keith says. you're a fucking idiot. bypass your eyes milk, please. He'll be like, okay, dad, you know, it's like the same mentality is like, who is most vulnerable to like, Scientology and cult? It's just like, who doesn't have a support system? Like whose parents aren't? But also maybe Brady milk advertising. Yeah, like, I don't know if the dairy farmers of Ontario would like put out a hit if like, he's like, having like, about
00:39:28
Speaker
Stories of Ontario have something to say about Brady's embrace of raw milk. They're coming after him with crowbars and stuff. I mean, the dairy farmers of Ontario are not part of an organized crime. syndicate I will just say, guys, whoever is spreading that myth needs to stop. On the topic of Brady Kachuk, how do we think becoming a dad will affect Brady Kachuk's play because we know that players play badly when their wives are bent. But I feel like they usually play well after the kid is born. They get like a boost of dad strength, you know? So I feel like I'm predicting a career year for him. Maybe I don't know. It depends on how I guess he like, use
00:40:16
Speaker
child? I don't know if that makes sense, but I think the more you love your kid, the worse you are at hockey. Because it's like- So it depends if the kid has good vibes. Or it could be like, I need to play so well for my kid. So that they like hockey. So I don't know. It could be a toss up.
00:40:39
Speaker
The real question is we have to be like Brady Kaczuk, you like your kid, and then that'll help us enforce the research afterwards.
00:40:50
Speaker
I think he'll be good though. I don't think he'll like the kid though. I think he's going to love his child and their year for the record. Women can have it all. He would be following in the Great Katak tradition of disliking your firstborn child. um That is a good point. He dislikes his kid, guys. So anyways.
00:41:11
Speaker
Yeah, now that's ah that's a good contribution. um Next question, which fan base will Tim just the piss off this year? Because, you know, he's pissed off the Habs. I think he's pissed off the Leafs. Oh, yeah, with the diving and stuff. It was kind of the same thing. Who is he going? but and what we What was the other team this year? Well, about this past year, it wasn't the Red Wings. Was it the Sabres?
00:41:37
Speaker
Oh, maybe there wasn't someone else. I was just thinking of other incidents with the Red Wings. But who do we think he will piss off this year? There's going to be an incident, I feel. He's collecting teams, you know? No, I think, I know he pissed off the Red Wings in Sweden with like the ah batting the thing into them. Does that count? They were more mad at their own Gold Thunder. Yeah. Wait, I was under the impression that Red Wings fans did hate him. Did they not? I don't think they hate him more than like,
00:42:06
Speaker
a normal rivalry. Like they hated Rachor Joseph and Brady Kachok. I feel like this is the year that Tim Stutzler becomes a red wings like enemy, you know? Yeah.
00:42:19
Speaker
I feel like it'd be nice if it was a team like Minnesota because like or like any relevant no offense one because of then it's like it's funny when it's like Leafs fans and Habs fans being like yeah we hate him and there's just like a random person with like a freaking I can't even name a wild player like Kirill Kaprizov profile picture like yeah me too it's like who are you so I think that would be fun I also think if your biggest rivals hate you, like yeah, that's cool, that's good, you want that. But there's just something extremely funny about a team that like does not have a rivalry with your team at all, like a team that we never think about, just like randomly hating you so much. So I see the vision there. The nostril predators.
00:43:05
Speaker
yeah yeah Any central division team, I don't know any central division teams. Yeah, so I'm I'm excited. I think he'll expand his horizons a bit. I feel like I feel like we are due like the sabers rivalry is about to take off. I just feel it, you know, like it was a rivalry for a long time. It kind of like faded a little bit. We're starting to see it come back. And and it's like every time we play the sabers like man, I forgot how much I hate this team.
00:43:35
Speaker
So I could see Tim Stutzler like doing something like there would be an incident that would just really make that like take off. I feel like I could see it if like they start comparing him and like JJ Paterka because I think there was some red redw wing stuff from like a few years ago where people were like Raymond is better yeah and that was like quite random because no um but it would be funny if because like him and JJ Paterka are friends so it'd be funny if like that was like I was gonna say I feel like we need to put stocks in Boston rivalry, just because we did steal their gold tender. And I feel like, do they Did they get? What's his face? Yeah, they did. Okay. Oh, yeah.
00:44:29
Speaker
TBD on how his career goes. But I feel like there might be some like, I don't know, some drama there. Like what if, what if, all Mark has like his kissing routine with Antoine Forsberg, like Bruins fans will get upset. Have they even signed Swamen? Oh, right. so they have So they just have Jonas Korposalo. Jonas. Interesting. Yeah.
00:44:58
Speaker
For the record, Small Tangent, I think it's absolutely hilarious that they traded Olmar again. Now they can't get Swiven's sights. That's so funny. Great content. um Yeah, but I feel like Tim Stifsla is going to do something. like Maybe he runs like runs a goalie, okay falls into the goalie, and there's an injury. I feel like we could I could see that happening.
00:45:21
Speaker
That is a good prediction. Yeah. Yeah. But then they would all be like, if he does do that, they'd all be like, and you can just tell from Omar's post-game presser that like he actually hates him. Like you can actually like in his eyes. Like, you know, how they always do that. It's like they like a former player on the set. Yeah. Hell, he actually hates Tim Stutzler from his vibes. I love when they do that. It's very funny.
00:45:46
Speaker
a lot of postgame pressers from ah Linus Ohmark. And I'll tell you that you can tell when he doesn't like another player. so much So much potential. I feel like the sounds are gonna piss off lots of teams. So yeah, lots of options. So I think all of these are gonna happen. Like I think he's gonna piss off the the most random team in the central division, you know, the wild, the predators, something like that. He's also going to cause an incident with the Buffalo Sabres because I think that that rivalry is like it's on the verge of boiling over, you know, like it's, this is going to be the year for that rivalry. Like, generally for Sen's rivalries, you know, we already like we've reignited Leafs and Habs, Red Wings rivalry in full force. And now we
00:46:29
Speaker
feel like the sabers the next one to work on guys if you're listening i created the red wings rivalry and i am now saying we need to pour so much energy into this sabers rivalry we need to make it happen and then yeah there's also going to be uh an incident with boston yeah is the related or not i just think that there's going to be an attack with boston Yeah, I could see it being Stetsa related. I feel like he's just one of those players. like he's always It's always at the state of the crime. yeah yeah Yeah, even more so than Brady Kachuck somehow.
00:47:06
Speaker
Okay, since that hasn't gotten bitten yet, though, so... I think, yeah, at least one of those things really Brady can look at. If he did get bitten, that would be so overdramatic that he would, like, faint. Like, it would be so bad. Because, like, people have him, and he's like, oh my god. So, like, imagine something, like, actually bad happened to him. Like, he would be carried out on a stretcher, sadly, but it'd be, like, a small bite on the hand, and he'd be like, I have to have it amputated.
00:47:33
Speaker
He'd be like, i I need every vaccine right now. yeah I do feel like he kind of gives off like damsel in distress vibes. So like maybe he would in fact get rabies, like, or like a prion disease. but and no if he then yeah he'll request all the vaccines as well and then like you said but then all the chicken followers on the team will be like no no man it adds you can't get a vaccine the rabies will make you a better player okay you know the rabies makes you scared of water though yeah do you think it would make you scared of ice like is it like
00:48:16
Speaker
Because it's frozen water. No, I don't think so. I feel like the water puddles. Okay, well that's fucked up. Talked about how you shot me down, but whatever, we'll get over it. But he sees a little puddle in the corner of the eyes and he's like, ah! Oh my god, typical snake blood. I'm just that's the right thing. That's our official screen switch. Put it on bet 99.
00:48:47
Speaker
Everyone thank us when you become millionaires.
00:48:52
Speaker
Can you bet on that stuff? I've never, I've never gambled before. We can't have anything. and just Is it through official meetings, you know? Like, I have a guy. So we will be starting our betting pool. But like, if anyone wants to put ah large large amounts of money on Tim Schutzler getting bitten,
00:49:16
Speaker
you know, come to us, please. And we like, our guest is actually the one doing this. Like, can you like call them and be like, can you call Vegas odds makers and be like, I have some ideas, like get a pen and paper. I mean, no harm in trying, I'm sure. I do get their phone numbers. Like, he starts calling every number and be like, you know who would know?
00:49:44
Speaker
um sha for the record yeah we were talking about how it's hilarious like obviously you know the reason that the NHL media is in Vegas like you know there's a reason for it it it's always in Vegas or whatever but it's it's funny that Shane Pinto is the only senator being sent to Vegas you know but like I don't know, people have to do community service. Have we considered the possibility that Shane Pinchot was going to like, gambling anonymous circles and just talking about his story?
Gambling Jokes and Scoring Predictions
00:50:18
Speaker
That's what he was doing in Vegas. Yeah, it was. And it wasn't like court ordered, but it was Gary Bettman ordered. Yeah.
00:50:26
Speaker
He was going around to all the NHL players being like, guys, don't gamble. You'll get suspended 41 games. It's actually going to be featured in the next prime video series about the NHL. Shane Pinto recovering from being a degenerate gambler. No offense, but it's true. I feel like that should be one of the predictions. Which like really weird scandal is going to happen this year?
00:50:54
Speaker
But the thing is, we can't predict that. We could come up with the most ridiculous, outlandish scenarios, but we could never predict what will be the weird thing that happens this year. You can bet on it with my friend in Vegas. How this is also the first ever mention of gambling, or first gambling ads thing. That's right, that's right. We do not do gambling ads.
00:51:21
Speaker
andensbrain or silversevenens dot com I also don't like i I know that like the gambling companies are crazy, but I feel like it would have beenably do bad things to their customer base or like do bad things for their bottom line if they gave up either of you, or like your podcast a gambling advertisements stipend.
00:51:44
Speaker
No, it would do great things. No, it would change you seriously. Oh, true. i would No, I was gonna say, like, we'd give terrible advice, everyone would gamble so badly, and then they would make a ton of money. So, yeah. I'm just saying. I just think if you're taking your gambling advice from Elite Sends Brain, why wouldn't people be taking their gambling advice from Elite Sends Brain? What are you saying about our podcast? Nothing, nothing.
00:52:12
Speaker
I'm not getting your gambling advice from Elise Sensbrane. I'm making up my own gambling advice and it's on who's gonna stop Josh Norris from drinking tap water. Like, who's gonna get the broom out and start hitting him? I mean, I have my own predictions about that. I'll bet I could win a lot of money. maybe Yeah, maybe I'll join in your gambling rank. Yeah, yeah.
00:52:36
Speaker
I don't know if we're doing ads for your own gambling ring. It's like multi-level marketing. Oh, I think one of the wags is going to get not ah necessarily a sense wag. I think as wag is going to get involved in like a multi-level marketing like Federal Bureau of Investigations takedown. Oh, interesting. Yeah, because we haven't had a lot of like wag MLM kind of scandals. I think it's just because they're so rich that they don't need to do that kind of stuff. It doesn't cross their mind. But they seem like the right demographic for it, you know? Exactly. Once your man has to get sent to Utah, then it's time to really get into the grift, you know? Oh, yeah. Okay, so specific prediction. One of the wags in Utah is going to get into it because they have to move to Utah all of a sudden.
00:53:31
Speaker
Yeah, and you're just surrounded by that little marketing. Like just a lot of i'm sure and i'm sure you can get' like, they're gonna be at the top. Because those are some real bosses, they're gonna start their own multi level market. Exactly. Exactly. I don't know if there's any hockey like related multi level marketing you could do but I'm sure I'm sure I'll be proven wrong. The limit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I could see that. But like, I feel like they'd be marketing towards like,
00:54:01
Speaker
other wags and stuff, not necessarily the hockey players, right? So it's a little different, something related to kids. I feel like unsealed wooden toys that grow mold. I feel like they're like, oh, it has toxins in it. So it's just a block of wood for the children. And then I think that's what it would be. And it fits the aesthetic, right? Yeah. It's like, yeah. I love a good mold storyline.
00:54:30
Speaker
Oh, I think we need more of those.
00:54:35
Speaker
and People listening to the podcast don't know your origin story, which has to do with black mold. It does have to do with black mold. Friends, if you think that a hockey player is talking to you through the radio waves, it might be time to check your house for black molds.
00:54:56
Speaker
However, if you do want to continue posting about said hockey player, you can do that. um You can even buy a lesbian flag with his face on it. And then every time people come to your house, you get to explain the story of the Black mold.
00:55:12
Speaker
Yeah, anyways, shout out to Ottawa Slumlords. You know who you are. I was just going to say something, but that would probably dox me, but um whatever. I don't live there anymore. um My old landlord got taken down by a SWAT team. I don't know why. I just hope that he did get taken down by one. Anyways, yeah, if you think that this is just a PSA, unrelated,
00:55:36
Speaker
Maybe it was that girl who has that lesbian Josh Norris, like, yeah, yeah, just, you know, we don't know who, who that could possibly be. But you know, just just a hypothetical person. So maybe test your apartment for black mold. It's a good PSA. Everyone should do that. Why is this too? I think I think everywhere you should test for black mold.
00:56:02
Speaker
Okay, especially if you live in a student accommodations. Yes, actually is what but you might get some great posts out of it might even get you on a podcast one day it might get you on a podcast one day. um So you should just keep posting it like you can choose to and choose to get your black moles cleaned out but you see you can still stay committed to the bet. So get rich quick scheme become an influencer.
00:56:31
Speaker
I have black mold poisoning. The MLM is vials of black mold. We've we've done it. but he Because you know, people either way you you you get black mold poisoning, you either become Twitter power user next sleep demon or JK Rowling, you know, it's like, you never know what the black mold will do to your brain. I think it's just like what you're already set to like, I'm already set to um I mean, this person said is already set to post about hockey players being lesbian icons. And J.K. Rowling is already set to being transphobic. So it's really unfortunate that Molt has such a bad rap. Like, it's just it's just some spores looking for a home. And all of a sudden it gets accused of transphobia. It's not cool.
00:57:32
Speaker
and the It's really messed up how people are discriminating against people who deal with black mold poisoning these days. Yeah, not all transphobes. It's in fact, some of them are trying to trans people. They're getting people to drink tap water.
00:57:51
Speaker
They're getting them to drink top water, yeah. Anyways, so we we thought we would have, for these predictions, we're like, let's have a mix of like silly ones and serious ones. Of course, all the ones we've done so far are serious, but we are closing out with two actually serious ah questions that real podcasters would answer on their podcast. I think you guys i think you guys are real podcasters. Yeah, as a legitimate podcast.
00:58:18
Speaker
Obviously, everyone here is just derailing it. Yeah, it could be any of us. Yeah. I think that people come to Elite Sen's brain to find out who will be the leading scorer on your Ottawa Senators this upcoming season. Who do we think it'll be? Tim Stutzler. That's my vote. Oh, I was gonna say that too. Yeah.
00:58:47
Speaker
Or maybe Brady could chuck, because if Tim Stutzel has an off year, then Brady could chuck. Like it all depends on the shoulder injury question. Oh, about who's gonna... Yeah. Like if Tim Stutzel's shoulder is gone, then I think someone else must step up. How depressing if it's a guy with a shoulder injury, the lead goal scorer has two goals.
00:59:10
Speaker
It all depends on if the rabies makes Tim Stutzler good at his job or bad at his job. I feel like it'll it'll be an improvement, you know? I will say it is really funny that like several players have come into training camp being like, oh yeah, I was battling an injury for several, okay.
00:59:27
Speaker
Tim Stossela and Thomas Chabot have both come in and been like, yeah, I've been battling an injury for a while, but I'm 100% now. And so many people on Twitter have been like, wow, what was the old regime doing? Like, it's so great how finally we have, you know, a training staff and everything that is able to get these players to 100%. Guys, are we sure they're at 100%? Like, do we believe them? Josh Norris has been close to 100% for the past two years, like,
00:59:56
Speaker
Okay, I do think that the leading scorer of your Ottawa Senators will be Michael Amadio.
01:00:08
Speaker
His Norris did. No defense win. Michael Amadio moves to defense. He's the leading scorer and wins the Norris. Everyone plays your bets right now.
01:00:24
Speaker
Go to bed99.com No, I also i also agree. um i think I think Tim Stutzla is gonna pull through out for us. And I also believe in Brady Kaczak, but I feel like Tim Stutzla had an off year last year. Like he wasn't doing too well. And Brady Kaczak had like a pretty good year. Like he was a point per game.
01:00:55
Speaker
Um, and like, they're still not that far apart. So like, if, I feel like if they both have like average years, then Tim Sisla has a better average number of points, you know? Does that make sense? That makes sense. I agree with that. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, Tim Sisla coming out this year.
01:01:19
Speaker
yeah Exactly. Coming off a down year, he's 100% now. He's going to have just like a crazy good year. I think he's going to hit 100 points. Also, Thomas Shabbat will actually win the Norris because he's at 100%. He said he was battling a wrist injury. I believe in him. Nobody else believes in him, but I do. As long as his wife doesn't get pregnant during the year because that's how players become bad. He needs polyester. Yeah.
01:01:47
Speaker
We gotta stop this from happening, you guys. Only buy cotton underwear. If I see any Ottawa senator at the Rideau Center buying polyester, I'm gonna take them out. Well, except for how much I need the polyester underwear so that their wives don't get pregnant so that they don't become bad. It's a big brain play. Let's see if it works.
01:02:17
Speaker
Why do you care so little about the Ottawa Senators and their success on the ice that you want these players to be fertile?
01:02:29
Speaker
You know who doesn't need to be more fertile? Team Bride Brady can shock. What the hell? You are too young to be married with children. It's fucked up. It is too young. It's weird.
01:02:47
Speaker
like what He's 24? 25? Yeah, he's almost 25. He was the first Ottawa senator, younger than me. Big milestone. He's older than me. so I know, I was like, I'll be two or both babies. So I get to feel old now. Damn. Embarrassing. But yeah, he is simply too young to be a father. Imagine someone my age being a father. That's stupid.
01:03:19
Speaker
That baby's going to get black mold poisoning. Oh, no. So anyways, Tim's just the leading goal scorer. And then finally, finally, the question that only we are qualified to answer that everyone comes to this podcast for, where do we think the Sens are going to finish in the standings? First.
01:03:42
Speaker
They're gonna win. Yeah, that so so your prediction is they are going to win exactly one game in November and finish first in the standings. Somehow, everyone else loses all their day. who Okay, rabies spread will need to be strategic, but... With all the brain worms between them, like they're gonna be winning every single game. Once those brain worms really kick in... yes somehow they're immune, but they just introduce all the plagues to all the other teams. Yeah. The frog? It makes them better, but everyone else works, yeah. Yeah. Did you say frogs? The frogs? Isn't that a plague in the Bible? Oh, I think so. Did I make that up? Guys. No, I think you're right. There's like also a river of blood. Like, that's just crazy. I mean, you're the only one here who would know the Bibles.
01:04:37
Speaker
I'm gonna trust you on that one. Okay guys, you, okay, not evangelizing here because why would I? But like, the part of the Bible where like Moses is leading them out of like Egypt is crazy.
01:04:54
Speaker
That's just like out of control. Wow. So you come on this podcast to promote gambling, to call hockey players gay, and it's everyone to read the Bible. I would never to call anyone gay. No, I was here to promote gambling, promote Jacob Chikrin's diet, and try to get you to join Christianity as a Protestant Christian myself.
01:05:22
Speaker
yeah i'm i'm I'm here to like balance out the woke agenda that I've seen happening on this podcast. and yeah It's kind of a service to the rest of the community.
01:05:34
Speaker
yeah i mean we brought you on both side yeah well that's the thing we We believe in in hearing both sides and we we did think you know we're getting too woke on this podcast and we need to balance this out and of course you're the first person we went to yeah to to discuss this.
01:05:53
Speaker
provide a balance well product addict balance. We appreciate that. Yeah, we appreciate the contribution. So anyways, yeah, consensus is since finished first overall, and they also break the president's trophy curse because exactly they win the cup. And they also draft first overall. I don't know how they do it, but somehow they managed. They got they tra actually got their draft picked back. Exactly, exactly. Everything's gonna go well. And then that will be the best advertisement for the raw meat diet. so And it's gonna take over the NHL. I believe it. Sounds about right. Everyone go to bedtime.com.
01:06:40
Speaker
but think Where do we think they're getting the raw meat? Like, obviously like the butcher. But are they all going to the same butcher? like Did Chikren have connections that he like passed on to Sanderson? I feel like Chikren knew a guy. i just He has that energy. He was telling it out of the back of the truck. Yeah, he he had some connections. There's this guy who was a farm and you know that's where he goes. and he he connected Jake Sanderson, although I don't know, Sanderson was eating raw meat during the summer when he was not in Ottawa. So maybe maybe when he's in Ottawa, he'll be, yeah, maybe when he's in Ottawa, he'll, he'll get San, um, Chikren's connections, you know? Is he, they're in the States now, right? Like Sanderson's in the States? Yeah, I forget forget exactly where. I hope border security is like, do you have anything, to anything to declare? And he's like, yes. 50 pounds of raw liver?
01:07:35
Speaker
the I hope he knows. It's not refrigerated. Yeah, I hope he knows that dairy products are extremely controlled. You cannot cross the border with that. Even the pasteurized kind. So probably not the unpasteurized kind either. Just things you learn when you work at the airport. Thanks Anderson got stopped at the border for smuggling because hes he shoved a bunch of raw milk underneath the seats of his car.
01:08:07
Speaker
That's the new scandal that's hitting the NHL guys. Yeah, yeah, either that or he gets away with it and gets horrendously sick because he did not refrigerate the raw milk when he brought it over the border. Would that make the bacteria worse? Well, actually, you know, who knows?
01:08:28
Speaker
Maybe it kills it off, I don't know. I can't say I know much about um keeping raw milk safe. From what I understand, the way to make raw milk safe is to pasteurize it. So if you're not doing that, I'm not sure what else you're supposed to. I'm surprised to you by the Woke Left, aka Louis Pasteur. Yeah, so that's it for our season predictions. I hope everyone learned a lot.
01:08:53
Speaker
I hope this was really helpful for all of your gambling endeavors. um I hope everyone makes a lot of money off of this, off of these excellent predictions. Now we're going to pivot a little bit and not talk about the Ottawa Senators. We're going to talk about PWHL Ottawa. Yeah, so we're actually not going to talk about PWHL Ottawa. We're going to talk about the Ottawa Charge.
01:09:19
Speaker
Oh, true, I forgot. Yeah, I kind of feel sad that we don't get to say P.W. Tell Ottawa anymore. I know, I do want to start. I'm kind of rolling off the tongue, even though it's like a million syllables. Yeah, well, what did you guys think of all the names? I thought Septors was stupid. That's my original pick. I thought Victoire was pretty stupid, but their logo fucks. So they made up for it.
01:09:45
Speaker
you think they sped like that Do you think the PWHL spent all of their time? like They're like, okay, we got to get this Montreal logo good. And then they're like, holy shit. We forgot about Ottawa. We also have to make a logo for them. Possibly. yeah I mean, I appreciate it because I love a good like stinky little bad logo. But I am one of the only people who enjoy it. I liked it. I like how when they uploaded, I posted about this, but when they used it as their profile picture, it was so pixelated. And no one else's was. Exactly. That's like a real Ottawa team. Yeah, yeah. low Like,
01:10:33
Speaker
low budget, underground, you might not know about them, but real fans do.
PWHL Name Criticism and Optimism
01:10:40
Speaker
I don't know. I do think i I am still so sad that like, I've been sad about Daryl Watts leaving since she left. I love her so much. But how perfect would it have been to have Watts on the charge? Like it's so good.
01:10:57
Speaker
So it's just really sad. I wonder if they came up with that name, almost banking on her being there. Because actually, now that you say that, it makes too much sense. They should have just thrown money at her. I know she took less to go to Toronto, but like they should have given her all the money that they had. Yeah, given her some like illegal, under the CBA, like things as well. They will pay for your house.
01:11:25
Speaker
We will. Yeah. Well, because, yeah you know, yeah, no two would do that. Yeah. Not that we're accusing Toronto of doing anything, but I feel like Ottawa could have gotten more creative. Yeah. They could have been like, do you have Czech relatives? Cause you can get on the Czech national team like this. I hope they did that. They're gonna forge a passport. They, I hope, like I would accept nothing less.
01:11:55
Speaker
It was so important. i think lots I hope they got Carla on the phone and they were like, begging her. And is that because if that happens, like, okay, at that point, I can I can hold it against her, you know? If not, I'm just going to assume that Michael, and not Michael Andlower. What's his face? It's another Michael. and Mike Hirschfield. Yeah. Mike Hirschfield. I'm just going to assume that he's like bad at his job and hates Ottawa and hates Ottawa fans um until proven otherwise, sorry. Yeah, I feel like that's a fair assumption. I do not. I know that Minnesota is the frost, which I think they could have gotten more creative with like making the F like because they like the logos and F. And if you're looking at it, you're like, well, that's not Minnesota. That's an F.
01:12:51
Speaker
I agree. I get what you mean. That's i like the good thing. Another thing that's so good about the Audible logo. It's an O and a C. They thought of everything. Exactly. It was very creative. I thought we were best minds on that project. I know this is controversial, but I think New York Sirens is a great name. Logo is terrible. Name good.
01:13:17
Speaker
People were saying like they should have leaned in two mermaids more, and I agree. this yeah The logo makes it look... I think someone else said this, but I agreed. One of you maids. It looks like it's being squeezed in the middle. Kinda. You know what I mean? Because like the extra parts make it look really... like It's like an optical illusion and it looks weird. And a little ugly, no fun. I think that's the worst figure.
01:13:40
Speaker
here I think there's actually like a couple of teams where... What's the Boston team name? the The fleet. Yeah, fleet. Okay. Because I was noticing like it for a couple of teams like New York and also to an extent, Ottawa, like they have names that could mean other things as well. Like, for for New York, it's more obvious. It's like sirens or sirens. But like, Ottawa, it could be like, the charge like electrical or the charge like you're running into battle. And I thought,
01:14:13
Speaker
That would be good. That'd be like good for marketing, like your secondary, like logo or your secondary. If we ever get to that point where they can afford more than two jerseys, like your third Jersey could be a different logo. That's like more about the other side. I mean, I think that'd be good. I yeah, I think like,
01:14:39
Speaker
In general, it's funny that they leaned into, like, the most boring parts. Like, when they had the opportunity to be more boring, like they kind of did. Like, the sirens essentially, like... Yeah. Yes, I do agree that the Toronto Sceptors looks awful. It is, like, its just a killer swift, shake it off thing. I know what the people were saying! Yeah! And, like, when they when they posted the thing with, like, and like, It's Coming or whatever,
01:15:08
Speaker
And then they had like the the queen as their background. I'm like, okay, like they could do royals. They could do monarchs. Those are all much better names than scepter. What does a scepter do? yeah You hit people over the head with it. Like they didn't even make the scepter look like a hockey stick. Like what are we doing here, guys?
01:15:28
Speaker
yeah they should have because like they're really leaning into like the hockey stick aspect of it but only in like what they were saying like they were like it's yielded by like royal and it's like oh okay so you're like it's a hockey stick thing but yeah there's no hockey stick in the logo what there is and i said this multiple times on twitter is the orb of unity which is the dumbest thing i've ever heard it's just a circle and they just made something up about it Yeah, shout out to Luke Peristi on Twitter who said that so that they didn't get copyrighted by Taylor Swift and they were like didn't like Taylor Swift wasn't like hey you stole my logo and that makes sense and I think that is what they did. Yeah, that makes sense to me. I will say I at least for Ottawa I think that it is easier to change a logo than to change a name so I'm glad that we got it a name or like a decent name and
01:16:24
Speaker
It's not the alert at least. um Even if we don't have the best window. It's just the Ottawa alert. If we were the Ottawa alert, like our goal horn could be the emergency alerts that Ontario gets. That Everyone wants at their hockey game. You can't see that going wrong.
01:16:49
Speaker
No, not at all. I was thinking though that, and I'm sure this has been pointed out before, but the Montreal vique quoi, like, if you're a French language radio station and you're trying to report on the PWHL in Montreal, you're like, yeah, the vique quoi de Montréal, the ECB or Maginard, like, you're gonna be like, yeah, the the victory the victory has like,
01:17:19
Speaker
face the defeat by the whatever the I don't even know man like it's gonna get confusing and no one will know what you're saying and seems bad I don't know there are definitely a lot of joke opportunities for when the victoire do not end up being victorious and I'm excited about yeah and I'm sure like CBC Sports is like preparing It's, it's titles, but I just think, Oh my God, man. Like, yeah you put yourself into a corner here. I'm sure you will. It's very, it's very typical Montreal that they're just like, what is, you know, we're winners, symbolizes Montreal hockey. Yeah. We're, we're winners. And it's like, okay, your PWHL team got swept the one time they made the playoffs.
01:18:18
Speaker
But your whole identity is being winners. Nice. Good job, guys. It would make more sense, yeah, if they had, like, won. Sorry. but Like, yeah, if they'd won the whole thing. Because then it's like, ah, ha, ha. Like, it's a nod to their inaugural season. But it is funny that they're just definitionally not winners. Meanwhile, Minnesota won in the inaugural season. And what the hell is going on over there? I don't even know, like, where to start on that. I just think crazy They're a fascinating team. yeah So anyways, good that we finally have the names and logos at least. Excited for the PWHL season and also the Ottawa Senators season. I am sure that all of our predictions will come true. I hope everyone enjoyed this episode. Even the contradictory ones. Yeah, somehow all of them will.
01:19:16
Speaker
um So to our lovely guest, how can people find you online if they enjoyed this episode? Yeah, so for more shilling for gambling companies and a critical support for ah Robert F. Kennedy Jr., you can follow me at Nux Sleep Demon. that's to That's an S at the end of Nux and an S at the beginning of Sleep. um Yeah.
01:19:46
Speaker
I post about The Sims and sometimes Quinn Hughes if I feel like it. As our listeners know, we are big fans, so go follow her if you laughed at any of her jokes in this episode. And if you didn't, maybe you'll still enjoy it. Even if it was a pity laugh.
Outro and Banter
01:20:05
Speaker
Even if it was a teddy laugh, I'll accept you. So yeah, with that, thank you for listening to this episode. You can- guys, I am so out of practice. I'm sorry, I had to like do the intro like three times because I've forgotten how to do this. And I haven't spoken about the auto senators in a long time because our last episode was pretty weird. But- It does mean I make you do it every time too. Like- but yeah like like Do you want to do you want to like do the intro or the outro? Let's see how much I've studied you. um Okay, thank you so much for listening. Follow us on Twitter at EliteSensBrain and on BlueSky, also at EliteSensBrain, and on Tumblr at EliteSensBrain.Tumbler.com.
01:20:54
Speaker
You can also follow Viata at cvatae and read her writing on silver7. Or you can follow me. Oh, you can also follow her on blue sky at cvatae. You can also follow me on Twitter at ericsonsburner or blue sky at ericsonsburner. And is that everything? Did I do it? Yeah, I think that's it. Let's go. Perfect. I'm a student of the game.
01:21:20
Speaker
You still are. Thank you. Bye. Go Sens Go. Go Sens Go. Go Charge Go. Go Charge Go. Yay. Bye. Go RF Kennedy. Go. Go RF Kennedy Jr. I'll leave that in. Bye.