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Episode 121: Worst Behavior
51 Plays5 years ago
This week Garrett had Derrick watch some very violent wrestling and he wasn't pleased! Also, goddamn T-Bar...
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Overview
00:00:35
Speaker
Hello, my friends. Welcome to episode 121 of Predetermined. I'm your host, Garrett Callender. I'm your other host, Derek Halpin.
Wrestling Dynamics and Tension
00:00:44
Speaker
Garrett.
00:00:45
Speaker
Will Darby Allen and Jon Moxley just fuck already? If I missed something, is there a sexual tension going on between them that is? The ending segment of this week's Dynamite with Eddie Kingston and the Lucha Bros beaten down on fucking Jon Moxley and a new guy. Will Hobbs. I was going to say Willie Mack, but that's clearly not who that is. Will Hobbs.
00:01:15
Speaker
So they're beaten down and they've got a numbers advantage and I'm just in the back of my mind I'm thinking any minute now I'm gonna hear that very very low soft guitar strum come in and I know Darby Allen's gonna come and save his man and that was the case and so what I'm saying is those two I understand that Renee may not be comfortable with it but I think Darby and John need to just get a room and
00:01:41
Speaker
somewhere there in Florida that's been cleaned up to Florida. And they need to just go at it. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. I like that. I feel like we need to seek out that waitress that we had a while back that wrote the erotic fanfiction. Yeah, I mean, we've been asking for, we've been open to erotic fanfiction for what, about a year now?
00:02:11
Speaker
Well, we got a little bit of it. We did, but we got one. You want it to be an ongoing series. Yeah, I wouldn't mind if at least a couple times a year. So it doesn't always have to be about us. I mean, that's fun. But if you want to send in some Darby Allen John Moxley erotic fan fiction.
00:02:32
Speaker
It's fucked up because I know somebody out there would do it in a heartbeat.
Garrett's Iconic Hat
00:02:37
Speaker
Would you explain, because obviously they can't see it, would you explain to our listeners what you are wearing on top of your head right now? Oh, I am currently wearing my MDK all day hat. It says murder death kill in a very nice font. Basically I complained last time on the show and then the very next day I got the tracking information on it.
00:03:00
Speaker
You're very lucky that you didn't complain on the show last week and then get a knock at your door. Heard you talking shit. Here's your fucking hat and an ass beating. It's like I don't know if you fucking heard but the males kind of fucked up right now. I was going to ask. Can you tell people.
00:03:23
Speaker
You sent me a picture of you wearing the hat to me the other day, but it was a picture of you wearing the hat holding your cat in a really cute position. It was nice. That should be your profile picture on MySpace right now.
00:03:40
Speaker
Anyways you send me the picture and what was the first thing I said to you after seeing the hat. Is that made out of a track suit. I was like is that made out of vinyl. OK. And then and then like a few seconds later I could see the little dot dot dot thing going down as you were typing to me and I asked because it looks like it's made out of the same material that a windbreaker is made out of. And right as I sent that and it loaded you had set right behind it. It's made out of the same material as a track suit.
00:04:10
Speaker
So we were on the same page. Yeah, it's not like a normal wool or I don't know, like a polyester or whatever. It's it's it's a windbreaker for your head. OK, it isn't exactly what I was expecting it to be, but I also don't know what Nick Gage knows about fashion and running a clothing line.
00:04:36
Speaker
Well, this is his first try, right? Yeah, this was from drop number one. We don't know that that's not necessarily from a Nick Gage tracksuit. You know how in Batman Returns, Selena Kyle just kind of lost her shit and she cut up like that fucking...
00:04:56
Speaker
Coat that she had and turn it into her catwoman suit that might be Nick Gage Just losing his fucking mind and quarantine cuz he can't wrestle Well, I gotta fuck it. I got a hole in my camo shorts already. I just as well oh I would pay top dollar for a piece of clothing made out of Nick Gage's camo shorts That seems like that should be a thing
00:05:23
Speaker
Is that a claw? That is a claw. It's a lemon. It's got a lemon. It would have been funny if it was just like a soda. At this point, that would be way funnier. It's a sprite. It's a Mr. Pibb. Derek.
WWE's Retribution Names Humor
00:05:39
Speaker
This week, wrestling really gifted us with something special. What exactly would that be? So we got the privilege of finding out Retribution's names.
00:05:56
Speaker
And when I found out what they changed Die Jack's name to, my initial reaction was tears started streaming from my eyes before I even had the chance to laugh.
00:06:08
Speaker
And then my whole body was shaking. I was having a little seizure. I was crying. I feel like I could sue the WWE for the reaction that I had to that. It was an allergic reaction to his name. All right. See, here's the thing. I've only seen bits and pieces. I know everyone kind of looks like Bane or Jason Voorhees. But do you know their names?
00:06:33
Speaker
No, take me through the names. Okay, so we had Donovan Dijak, then he became, what, Donovan Dichojevich? Something like that? Sure. And now, Dijak's name in the WWE is T-Bar. T-Bar!
00:07:00
Speaker
You waited your whole life to get to the big time. You're now T-Bar. His buddies are Slapjack and Mace. How do you hear Slapjack and not immediately think of Stevie Ray? See, I think of slap nuts.
00:07:21
Speaker
Now, slapjack was actually Stevie Ray's weapon of choice. I remember the slapjack, but it, you know, right now I'm getting a vibe of like early 2000s WCW out of retribution and slapjack and duck fart and whatever the other ones are.
00:07:39
Speaker
But the saddest part is they have Mia Yem and they have Mercedes Martinez on their team. I don't know what their names are now, but they are way too fucking talented to be part of this shit. It does not matter how talented you are once you sign that contract, my friend. It does not matter what your skill set is. You too can wear a mask that looks like a cut up paper plate on your face.
00:08:05
Speaker
I saw that T-bar responded to CM Punk about that tonight. T-bar. Yes. Heated exchange. The thing is Dijak has a pretty good bane voice. Can we just...
00:08:26
Speaker
for a moment appreciate the fact that supposedly we're not the only ones that had that reaction to finding out the names and the look of retribution as a stable because apparently everyone backstage thought that it was fucking hilarious. And there's a growing sentiment that this is once again dead on arrival. Do you think it's like the shield only cooler. Yeah.
00:08:58
Speaker
They need to give me a reason to tune into Monday Night Raw every week and T-Bar is the shit. You couldn't convince me that fucking T-Bar wasn't the nickname of Jason Statham's friend and crank. It's just, it's one of those.
00:09:25
Speaker
Poor those people. Poor all of those people. So, I, yeah, I, poor all of them. All
Joining WWE Thunderdome
00:09:34
Speaker
of them. Hey, speaking, while we're still on WWE, me and Derek are signed up for the goddamn Thunderdome.
00:09:42
Speaker
We did sign up for the Thunderdome earlier today and I'm convinced I'm gonna get approved to be in the Thunderdome because I'm not gonna be available. It will be my special lady's 35th birthday this Friday, so happy birthday, Megan. So we will be out of town. Don't worry, we're not going between states. Don't freak out. We're going a few miles outside the city.
00:10:07
Speaker
And I will not be available to watch SmackDown this Friday, so therefore I will not be available to be in the Thunderdome. But you might be. I don't know what you're doing. I'm going to be in the Thunderdome, which you should be taking Megan to for a birthday because it's the most romantic place on earth. Yeah, I could just we could just go get a place and I could prop up my phone and we can appear in the Thunderdome on a probably on a video board in the upper deck in the corner. No, no, no, no. We're going to be right behind Michael Cole.
00:10:36
Speaker
cheering maybe T-Bar on SmackDown. I think T-Bar is a raw exclusive now. The retribution now has to obey the rules of the WWE draft. I believe... That's how that works? Like you're like Braun Strowman can just show up and fight Dabakkado backstage? Not T-Bar. T-Bar plays by the rules. Except when he's destroying property. Yeah.
00:11:06
Speaker
Fuckin' WWE, man. So Friday, tune in to SmackDown, try and find me and the Thunderdome doing my best do it yonder. How much would you pay for an erotic fan fiction that is Darby Allen, Jon Moxley, and T-Bar?
00:11:28
Speaker
The mask 15 bucks You'd pay $15 for like a like what like a book It could be you Would you get some like the moxley allen t-bar? Fan-fiction if it was like like the the classic romance novels where it's like it like a really shredded, dude It's Fabio's body, but he's got a fucking the paper plate face
00:11:56
Speaker
Darby Allen looking up at him lovingly. He's gonna get this. With a hand on the shoulder coming over the top. Darby Allen's makeup gets a little bit smeared. Yeah. You can see there's some smeared on the chest. Ooh, yeah, no. Okay, I'll raise it to $25. 25 bucks for that to be on your shelf next to your all-in plaque that you have. Your wife was not happy that you bought. Still around here somewhere.
00:12:27
Speaker
Um, so you kind of, I mean, I don't want to come at you too hard to open cause you're getting the spanking today, my friend, but I will say you hyped it up as let's check out what's been happening on the indie scene for next week's episode. That's what you said last week. It had nothing to do with it. It was just straight up GCW.
00:12:47
Speaker
I watched six GCW matches. This is not the indie episode. This is the GCW episode. This is everything Garrett has been enjoying over the last five months. Basically, there were like two matches that I really, really wanted you to watch. And I framed it in a different way. I got nervous. I sent you like six matches. I could have sent you another 15 matches. Oh, I believe it. Of great shit that's been happening.
00:13:15
Speaker
And I don't know that I necessarily sent you the best of the best to start with, but I sent you... Well, let's just get into it. The first show that I sent Derek was GCW Backyard 2, which took place on the 4th of July. July feels like a long time ago now. Oh, it's an eternity ago. And that show was one of the most fun shows I've watched this summer.
00:13:43
Speaker
Now, I mean, we're taking people back a couple months. What was so controversial? Because this was like, what, the first big show after quarantine? Right? Well, this one was in somebody's backyard. Right. But it would have been, I'm trying to remember if they had already run a show in Indianapolis. But yeah, it would have been one of the first two shows. It was one of the first ones, but it got a lot of criticism, obviously, at the time. A little bit, you know, because- Because they were the first ones through.
00:14:13
Speaker
But I think at the end of the day it was worth it and I think you'll agree with me. I had- So you set me up with this GCW backyard pay-per-view and I think I text you not too long into me watching it. I feel bad for the park.
00:14:34
Speaker
And I meant it. That's the thing. I don't take it back. It wasn't just me being funny. I legitimately was thinking, man, there's probably kids in the neighborhood that ride their bikes through here and play ball. And now there's going to be shards of light tubes scattered everywhere there for years. So the match that I had you watch first was just deny any of that. No, it's the glass isn't going anywhere. It's going to stay.
00:15:03
Speaker
In a game of Ultimate Frisbee, somebody's gonna get a real gross skin knee.
00:15:17
Speaker
So the first match I sent to Derek to watch was Paco Loco, AKA Chris Dickinson, versus Casey Quick. Now, kind of the premise of this show is it's GCW regulars fighting back yarders. So Casey Quick, how did you describe him to me, Derek? I told you that when I see Casey Quick, I see a Family Dollar version of Joey Janela.
00:15:45
Speaker
I went out of my way to not say Dollar Tree because too many people know about Dollar Tree. This match is incredibly brutal.
00:16:17
Speaker
A giant man hurting a much smaller man at that too.
00:16:23
Speaker
I mean, I look at that match and in my mind, that's how Vince views his fight with AEW. He's like, this is us. We're big. We've got the look. We're tough. And look at all those little dipshits over there thinking they're cool because they smoke cigarettes and they're not big.
GCW Backyard 2 Match Recap
00:16:45
Speaker
I'm Paco Loco. I'm Paco Loco.
00:16:50
Speaker
But yeah, this was just brutal, man. And Chris Dickinson isn't normally a deathmatch wrestler. I don't know that he's ever had a deathmatch. This wasn't necessarily a deathmatch as much as it was him punishing Casey Quick for existing. Like, yeah. And he agreed to take some light tubes clearly, but I feel like the conversation had to go, you can hit me with light tubes. But for every tube, I am going to take a year off of your career.
00:17:22
Speaker
And towards the end of that, they're trying to break that door. And he just keeps bouncing that man's neck off of that door in the corner. It is brutal. That door was not gimmicked. Were you entertained by this match?
00:17:39
Speaker
All I remember thinking was that like whatever the finish was going to be like it's not going to make any sense whatsoever. All of the things that dollar store Joey Janelle is going to kick out of there now are going to be so fucking brutal that what am I going to finally going to go. OK well yeah that makes sense that that would keep him down. Just snaps his neck.
00:18:03
Speaker
I watched at a GCW show one man use a plastic bag to choke out another man. If you want to indeed consider Slack a man.
00:18:14
Speaker
Speaking of. Speaking of. Oh, you're in such trouble. See, I figured this is the one I was in trouble for. You were definitely in trouble. This match was El Schlacko versus JJ Escobar. JJ Escobar is wearing a white ski mask and a Gigi Allen shirt. So already he's got a lot going for him. I think I like this guy. I like the cut of his jib.
00:18:42
Speaker
Why are you so, why is Gigi Allen okay to you in 2020? Well, I think as we start discussing how entertained I was by this match. I'm upset that you started with a well. Like you had a whole fucking presentation to give. Like you've been anticipating that question. You know who would have loved the song WAP? Gigi Allen. That could have been a Gigi song.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yeah, that's an outrageous claim. Yeah, you're right. His would have been a little more offensive. But okay, so Derek, you said I'm in trouble. What about this professional wrestling match? Makes you angry. Look, I don't want to become that pretentious asshole, but I actually don't think that
00:19:39
Speaker
I'm not worried about being called a pretentious asshole when I criticize this. You know how there's a lot of people who hate modern art because they just feel it's a little too fucking off the wall and that it barely qualifies? Like if you shit in like a fucking in a Ziploc bag and then throw some sprinkles in it and hand it to me and say that that's art. That's essentially what this wrestling match. This was not a wrestling match.
00:20:05
Speaker
I saw a German suplex into the fender of a car. That counts. The fucking announcers. There's a spot in this match where a car gets used for an extended period of time. Gets used. In many ways. That's why I can describe it. In many ways. But I can tell you that at the beginning of the car's usage, there's a spot
00:20:32
Speaker
where El Schlacko is supposed to have his head driven through the back window of this car. And they go to do the spot and their heads, just both of them, each of them keep trying to break this window. And I think isn't Janella on commentary? Yeah, it's Janella and Kevin Gill.
00:20:58
Speaker
Well, one of them slips up and says something to the effect of they keep trying to break that window. I mean, they're trying to get his head to go through the like, like they totally fucked up with the part. Like they skipped immediately to the part where they were having issues breaking the window and not focusing on the fact that there was a man trying to throw another man through the back window of the car. And this is not professional wrestling.
00:21:25
Speaker
There was a spot in this match, Garrett, where Slack attempted to help JJ Escobar get in this car with him because Escobar couldn't get the door open. Slack reached across the front seat and attempted to like a good friend open the side door so that he could get in this car with him.
00:21:48
Speaker
Why? Oh, because JJ Escobar had lit fireworks and set them off so that they could sit in the car together for the shit show. Wrestling. They're shaking. Wrestling. It's not wrestling. Ask T-Bar if it's wrestling. Fuck T-Bar.
00:22:11
Speaker
It was the 4th of July. I mean, Schlack's entrance, he walked out with Roman candles shooting just wildly. The crowd looked fucking terrified. Oh, I'm not done yet. Look, guys, Joey Janela felt guilty because there is a spot where Schlack hits JJ Escobar with the car.
00:22:38
Speaker
Yes, he starts the vehicle up, drives it at him, and JJ Escobar goes flying about seven feet in the air, rolls off the side, almost gets cut in half by the door opening.
00:22:53
Speaker
And then hits the ground and I'm thinking, well, that's the end, right? No, that was not the end of the match. Joey Janela on commentary is just like, Oh my God. Like I, he's like, I feel a little guilty for, for being here. They said years ago, go ahead. Oh, they even said they're like people from the crowd are starting to leave as if they've just witnessed a homicide. Yep.
00:23:23
Speaker
Uh, and Joey Janela was outwardly expressing his disdain for what he was witnessing. But you would think that'd be the end of the match. There'd be a cover after getting hit with a car and there would at least be some sense to be like, all right, well, this is the high spot of the match. Oh no. Oh, contrary. No, you got to, how do you top the most
00:23:43
Speaker
I got to witness the most painful spot I've ever witnessed in a pro wrestling match. Derek's putting air quotes. Yeah. Derek is just like he punched those air quotes around that and a pro wrestling match slack. I don't know if it was shipping tape.
00:24:07
Speaker
Sat that motherfucker down in a folding chair. In a yard. With JJ Escobar selling. That he was fucked up. And for the next two and a half minutes. I'm sorry. Wrestling's fake Derek. I don't know if you know this.
00:24:28
Speaker
Yeah well I know that for two and a half minutes something that wasn't fake was me watching Slack unsuccessfully try to use packing tape to tape this man down into a chair and then eventually he just fucking gave up.
00:24:45
Speaker
and dropped the tape it's like legit go back and watch this match at this point I'm like no like no like like where are we going with this like I get like the and then you see a fan run up and offer a lighter in the middle of him trying to tape this man to a chair because what's Schlatt gonna do Schlatt's gonna set off a really what did they call it
00:25:10
Speaker
It just looked like a fucking mortar round. I don't even know what it was. I think that may have been what they called it. It was basically like an M80. It was a really big fucking firework. It was a little bomb. They put a little bomb on JJ Escobar's dick. And using a fan's lighter, which was probably a Bic and probably had some camo on it.
00:25:35
Speaker
Oh, it's firework. It's windy, so Schlack is having a hard time getting it lit, too. I appreciate that you had a lighter on hand for that. Yeah, there's one. The audio was picked up by the microphone. Don't set the mic on. Yes.
00:25:56
Speaker
so we had a nice like four almost four minutes of setup and build for this one firework to go off for this spot like they worked so hard this was a this was not a wrestling match this was let's do some stunts I'm gonna hit you with a car and then I'm gonna set a firework off on your dick but he had the firework duct tape to him okay cool
00:26:25
Speaker
There was smoke coming out of that man's penis. Garrett, I'm not telling you that it wasn't an impressive sight to behold.
00:26:40
Speaker
I'm not telling you that I didn't enjoy seeing a thing happen. I just know that as I'm watching and I'm like, this is really stretching the bounds for what one can call a professional wrestling match. I think Joey Janela himself said, I feel like I'm watching a faces of death video right now. And that's exactly how I felt. How many reaction, the reaction from the announcers when that firework went off on JJ Escobar's cock.
00:27:10
Speaker
otherworldly I mean basically they just ended the show yeah I mean where are you gonna go from there they didn't even get to pin him
00:27:19
Speaker
Did he? It didn't matter. And then Schlack just walks away and you just see Schlack take his mask off and Brett Lauderdale's following him. Like he's getting ready to get a man who just murdered somebody out of the building. It's funny because like nobody knew at that point that El Schlacko was Schlack and then he took the mask off and found out that they're the same person. Which explains so much.
00:27:48
Speaker
So yeah, I really would say this show was them on their worst behavior. Yeah, I would completely agree. When we started this podcast a couple years ago, I didn't see you becoming the hardcore guy. What happened? GCW happened. What? No, no, no, no, no. You were in my living room.
00:28:14
Speaker
here in Chicago when we looked up what GCW what we were going to for the first time you were there and you were mortified and then we went and then you got a rush like you probably never gotten before so much so that you tried to run
00:28:35
Speaker
Yeah, you know. You keep coming back for more. Some people do drugs. Some people go skydiving. I just want to watch guys get thrown into barbed wire and stuff. And then you come to me and be like, hey, honor it. Honor it. It's a pro wrestling match. You're the fucking old person at the counter telling me to honor a fucking coupon that's not even for this business. So you're telling me this isn't what you signed up for?
00:29:05
Speaker
No. Not at all. Oh, but you're okay with fucking sitting down and watching two hours of T-bar. I'm not okay with that. I haven't been watching since mania. Okay. Even before mania. Well, what, okay. 2020 has been a really fucked up year, Derek. I don't know if you know about this.
00:29:31
Speaker
Yeah, and watching a man get a fucking firework lit on his dick is right in there with everything else I've seen this year that's pretty fucked up. No! No! This is a good thing. This is a good thing. They put this on pay-per-view and they make me feel fucking alive.
00:29:49
Speaker
Would you do it? Would I do it? No, but I'll let JJ Escobar get paid 200 bucks to light a firework on his dick. You don't think there's anything ethically wrong with cheering on this kind of stuff for your entertainment? Not a part of you feels bad. We spend a lot of time watching CKY videos. What's the difference here? Is it the men are a little bigger? I don't know if it's a comparable situation.
00:30:19
Speaker
I just watched some CKY stuff on YouTube the other day, and I'll admit to you that there's some very dangerous shit, but I never said I condoned it. Like, usually the stuff that I enjoyed the most was the stuff that was the most harmless. Well, I enjoy some of the harmless things in GCW.
00:30:43
Speaker
I still love you. I just want you to know that I mean you're really pushing it. You're really pushing it. You woke me up last year and had the microphone rolling as you showed me a man getting stabbed with a fucking needle. And what else happened in that match.
00:31:02
Speaker
gets kicked in the face with a needle through both sides of his cheeks. Isn't there scissors? Oh, no, no, the scissors was, uh, that was a different one. That was Janela's spring break. Jimmy Lloyd gets the scissors kicked into his throat. Mm-hmm. I didn't say it was okay. But you keep coming back for more. They keep showing it to me. I'm not telling them to do it.
00:31:29
Speaker
are you talking about it here are you saying that when I throw my 13 bucks at a GCW pay-per-view that's me condoning it yes okay fair
00:31:43
Speaker
Okay, so even if I let this go You set me up with these two matches first, which you know, obviously the Paco loco match is brutal because he's just fucking demolishing a dude That's significantly smaller than he is with wrestling moves and furniture then we move on to this thing which is slack using an automobile and fireworks and
00:32:08
Speaker
That's what I'm calling it. El Schlacko's stunt show. El Schlacko's stunt show. Not to be confused with a professional wrestling match. And when that's over, you send me this lovely text that says, don't worry, it's normal from here on out. And then I get to the next match from a different show.
Intensity of Deathmatches
00:32:29
Speaker
And as soon as I start the match up, I'm like, there's light tubes taped to the ring ropes.
00:32:35
Speaker
I know what I said to you and I said that with sincerity because what you saw was so bad that this was a regular death match in comparison. Yeah, I know what you said. You basically said you should probably be as desensitized as me at this point. So the light tubes aren't a big deal.
00:32:56
Speaker
Okay, so the next match that Derek watched was home. It was from a homecoming part two that took place in New Jersey. It was Alex Cologne and Zachary Wentz from the Rascals. I really liked the Rascals and I think Zachary Wentz, he had never had a death match before. He had a pretty good death match.
00:33:17
Speaker
Aren't our brothers from Best There Ever Was, the Quarantine? Weren't they at this show? They were at the night before, so they saw Alex Cologne versus AJ Gray in a death match. Okay. They weren't at this match. They weren't at this one. Alex had two death matches that weekend. Now, I did enjoy this match, and I thought they made Zachary Wentz look like a fucking badass. Right?
00:33:44
Speaker
Yeah, like he he's such a talented wrestler and I think they did a really good job of mixing his talents with deathmatch.
00:33:55
Speaker
Now I'm pretty sure this is the match where there's the spot where he's on the winces on the top rope, getting ready to do something, and he just gets pushed to the outside through the barbed wire covered doors that are propped up. Yeah, it's a door covered in barbed wire with a pane of glass over the top of it. He's a mess after that, isn't he? Yeah, it's a cringy.
00:34:25
Speaker
The thing is, there were so many good matches I could have sent you, but I sent you this one. And before you sent me this one, don't worry, this is a normal one. I realized what I had said to you immediately after and decided not to correct myself. You're like, let's see how this goes. You know what? It'll play well on the podcast.
00:34:48
Speaker
It wasn't normal. It was it was less traumatizing than the previous two matches. I think that would be fair to say. Yeah. Yeah. Alex Cologne. He's had a big summer though. He won the tournament of survival which I didn't send you a single match from. You're welcome.
00:35:07
Speaker
Oh, I'm sure I'll get one eventually. If you want some Tournament of Survival matches, I'll send it to you. I know in the first match on that card, RickyShanePage sticks a syringe through Jimmy Lloyd's cheek and then sprays fluid through it.
00:35:28
Speaker
You say like a proud papa. Hey, my wrestling options right now fall somewhere between T-Bar and Jimmy Lloyd getting a syringe in the cheek. Mike Fitzgivin's son is a nuclear physicist, and my podcast co-host shows me another man having liquid shot through his fucking cheek. Ugh.
00:35:52
Speaker
Well, what should I be watching if not this? I mean, I know the G1's going on. I've turned the G1 on. I've been watching those matches too. Are you telling me that I have a problem right now? I've been saying you've had a problem for months.
00:36:08
Speaker
This is an intervention. This is a very long intervention. The part, this is the part that I genuinely feel guilty about. We just got past where we're here in mid September. So it's been a couple of weeks, but you know, the last couple of years around this time, we're coming off that high from all out and all in weekend. And I cannot deny. I can't that last, I can't deny that last year's two cups stuffed show.
00:36:38
Speaker
out here in Chicago was one of the greatest shows I've ever been to. Like being there in person for that GCW Black Label Pro show was a fucking blast. But there's still the part of me that I watch some of this shit and I think, mm. Like it doesn't make me feel good to know that we basically almost watched G-Raver die in front of us.
00:37:06
Speaker
like I do feel like that's I'm a little uncomfortable like I'm a little uncomfortable with how often the light tube shit gets used and I just take for granted that like it's still glass and if poked in the wrong place can like really fuck somebody up.
00:37:24
Speaker
And yet here I am, this is a normal match and I see light tubes taped around the ring and I'm like, I think your definition of a normal match is different, sir. It is. It's become skewed over the last couple of years. I hear normal match. I think 45 seconds squash match from Sunday night eat 1999. That's what I hear. When really it's a no, I say it's a normal match and it ends up being that new Jack match where he stabs that kid.
00:37:54
Speaker
We're headed that direction. Speaking of, just side tangent real quick. New Jack is gonna be performing a wrestling show in Anna, Illinois, which is right outside of Carbondale. And it's in a- That's closer to you than it is to me. That's true, but it's in a skating rink. But you know who it's very close to? Who's that? Dalton and Teagums.
00:38:21
Speaker
Should we assign them homework? And you know what? I'll even, I'll even do this. I'm going to call you tag because that's your, the name that your friends call you and not the name that we're mispronouncing. I would love for you to go to this. I know it's weird to send you out somewhere during a pandemic, but new Jack's there. Nick Gage is there. It's in a skating rink. Yeah. I need to hear what goes on.
00:38:51
Speaker
We are dying for some fresh shit to work with right now because retribution ain't cutting it. T-bar. Fuck you. Will be good for a couple of weeks. That'll be good material. Not everything that we crank out is going to be a jizz. That's our fucking more than words. That's an extreme reference if you don't get that.
00:39:20
Speaker
I could have picked any one hit wonder. I chose that one. You went with extreme. Well, you know, we are talking hardcore wrestling right now and extreme fits. Now, what can we do to bribe Dalton and Teggs to get their asses to this roller skating rink during a pandemic? What can we offer up?
00:39:47
Speaker
Love and support is guaranteed. But what else can we do? Can we do something for charity? What are we doing? You're bringing this up on the spot. Can I light a firework on your dick next summer? No. Garrett's shaking his head, but I think inside he's willing to do it. Do you think you could get thrown into barbed wire and be OK?
00:40:16
Speaker
Me? Yeah. No, that sounds horrible. There's a lot of wrestling things that I look at and go, that looks bad, but I could probably deal with it. I think the barbed wire one terrifies me because I've seen barbed wire tear flesh and that seems fucked up. Like glass, you can just kind of pick out, right? Tag. It's a once in a lifetime. It's an opportunity to see a new Jack and a skating rink.
00:40:46
Speaker
You like I don't know if I have the balls to go see new Jack because heaven forbid he's heard some of my commentary on this show.
Standout Wrestlers and Matches
00:40:53
Speaker
I know he hasn't but just saying let's move on to the to the next match here Garrett.
00:41:01
Speaker
Okay, this is an actual regular wrestling match. I gave Chris Dickinson versus Calvin Tankman. I just really wanted you to see Calvin Tankman. I think this guy is... I was very impressed.
00:41:16
Speaker
This was a damn good, this was like this, you should have said this was a normal match before this match. And that would have applied. I would be like, yes, this is a wrestling match between a couple of big dudes. Tankman is a beast. Tankman is a fucking beast. He's from Indianapolis and I don't really follow the wrestling scene out of there very much. So I'm so happy that GZW is starting to do all these shows and bring in these wrestlers that we had not heard of before.
00:41:45
Speaker
but Tankman has had some killer fucking matches over the past couple months. And I recommend going and checking out any of them. I gave you the Dickinson one just because I thought it was, you know, kind of his... A palette cleanser? Yes. It was kind of his welcoming end to GCW as well, like where Dickinson at the end of the match says, I think GCW just found their resident big man.
00:42:10
Speaker
So if this is like your first time listening to this podcast and you're, this is your first time hearing about GCW. This tankman Dickinson match is the kind of match that Garrett would give to you to lure you in to the house to be like, look, they do wrestling. And then he sneaks in a light tube situation. And then eventually good dudes are getting hit by cars. I don't, once again, I don't see anything wrong with this.
00:42:38
Speaker
Yes, GCW is like the Ponderosa of professional wrestling. There's a little something there for everybody. Is that a regional thing? Do I need to say Golden Corral? I don't know. China buffet. Does Ponderosa still live? Is it still around? Probably somewhere. Yeah, check out the Chris Dickinson tank bin match.
00:43:04
Speaker
I mean, you get to see a 300 pound man do a stand-in shooting star press. Yeah.
00:43:12
Speaker
I don't- He looks cool as shit too, by the way. Oh yeah. I'm just, right now I'm really high on tankmen and I just wanted you to get a little taste. That's kind of the same with the next match I had you check out, which was Lee Moriarty and Trey Lamar. I really wanted you to see Lee Moriarty. I had never heard of him before until this match and he has been blowing me away time and time again in GCW now.
00:43:39
Speaker
So I got excited for this one when you said when I started it up because I saw them like these two guys standing at each other and I was like, OK, this is going to be like a high flying athletic match. And that's what I got. Even though it was 100 degrees outside and they're wrestling in a park.
00:43:57
Speaker
Well, that didn't affect me. But watching it back, I mean, this was fun. Like these two guys could go. And I'm really excited because Lee Moriarty is going to be on Sup's Southern Underground Pro's show over the collective weekend. It's going to be him versus Daniel Maccabe. And I think that is going to be one of the highlights of the weekend. Could you clarify what Sup's doing a show?
00:44:22
Speaker
They are, they're doing a show in Indianapolis over the collective weekend, which is, let's see. I have some details to our listeners here. Yeah, let me pull this up real quick. The collective is taking place October 9th through the 11th, and it's at the Marion County Fairgrounds in Indianapolis. Sup has a show, let's see, Lee Moriarty Daniel Maccabee is on it.
00:44:46
Speaker
AC Mac versus one called Manders, Alley Cats on the show, AJ Grey. I mean, it's, oh, we got Jake Something versus O'Shea Edwards, which is pretty cool. I don't know if Jake Something's done any sub shows yet, so that's gonna be pretty cool. But you know who else is gonna be doing a show there that weekend? Effie. Well, Effie has his big gay brunch, but Freelance is doing a show.
00:45:14
Speaker
Freelance is doing a show. I believe it's called We're Not In Chicago Anymore. It is. And Effie is, I believe, the main event. It's him versus Robert Anthony. They're doing a title versus title. Damn. Anthony's been getting some time on GCW, or not GCW, AEW. Has he been on dark?
00:45:38
Speaker
I don't know if he's just been on dark, but I know that they've had him at ringside several times too. Okay, nice. I mean, my introduction to him is still one of my favorite wrestler introductions, which is that match against Kylie Rae, where he bled way too fucking much. He got whipped into what wasn't it? The, uh, the, uh, barricade barricade outside the ring and just absolutely weapon absolutely exploded.
00:46:07
Speaker
Was that the most blood you've ever seen on a wrestler live other than GCW? Like in a spot, like a very regular spot. Like, yeah, he hit his face on the rail and looked like JJ Escobar's dick. Yeah, good for them. I mean, I hope, again, it's another situation. Indiana is starting to loosen up a lot of their COVID-19 protections right now, so.
00:46:38
Speaker
that's a lot man I mean I'm sure that'll be a lot of fun but I don't know I if I'm a little nervous about it so I'm gonna just be watching on TV but you know GCW
00:46:54
Speaker
Would you blame somebody who's in the area there for skipping out on that? I don't know. I mean, it's going to vary person to person. And GCW has been doing a good job of keeping their shows socially distanced. And everybody's got masks on. This one, I believe, is indoors, which freaks me out a little bit. But that being said, I'm 100% going to be watching on TV. They're going to get my money. They're getting my money. Why can't they do it from the Thunderdome?
00:47:25
Speaker
That's just not the same. A GCW show from the Thunderdome would be amazing. Because you would be able to look into the crowd and see my disapproving face at certain things that happen. Everyone else is like, yeah, wearing an ICP shirt or something. Do you think that's what we wear?
00:47:49
Speaker
It'll just be me. And my Carly Rae Jepsen shirt with a murder death collar. I was going to say, can you describe to everyone once again what you are wearing on your head?
00:48:00
Speaker
Well, on my body, I've got a t-shirt of the pop singer, King Princess. I've got a hoodie on of the country singer, Margot Price. And on my head, I have murder death kill. Which I did wear out and about the other day. Did anybody double take it? No, I think the font is too hard to read. But if it were just very clear murder death kill font, I would be a lot more uncomfortable.
00:48:28
Speaker
It's murder death kill in a wacky font on a windbreaker hat. Does that make me seem unstable? I think most people are going to look at that hat and be like, that probably cost a pretty bunny. Because they don't just sell those at lids. They should. That's where we're going to go. This is a drop one hat, but by drop seven, maybe we're in lids.
00:48:57
Speaker
So we got one more match here we need to talk about. Oh yeah. I just, um, I feel like Tony Deppins also had a really big summer, just a lot of really good matches. And I wanted to throw one of those your way. So I, uh, I threw out, yeah, this was my favorite match of the six that you sent me. Was it? Okay. It was Tony Deppin versus Shane Mercer. Also from the world on GCW part two that took place in Indianapolis.
00:49:23
Speaker
Can we tell everyone about the history that you have with Shane Mercer? That he's a terrible throw? I think he's an excellent throw. I think, I mean, I'm sure if anyone's been listening for a while, they know that Shane Mercer threw Logan Stunt directly into my body. Cross-bodied me. At my request. Yeah, you...
00:49:49
Speaker
It's funny though because it was like there was a callback to that in the middle of this match. Yeah, after Deppin almost fucking kills himself doing that cannonball out of the ring, then Shane Mercer just kind of abandons the match, goes, seeks out Logan's stunt, and then throws him into a fountain.
00:50:09
Speaker
So there's like a line of concession stands. And Shane Mercer goes and finds, the announcer's like, where is he going? What is he doing over there? Oh, he's interacting with a fan. Oh wait, now it's Logan's stunt. It's Logan's stunt up and then proceeds to throw him in like a pool. It's like a fountain. To me, Tony Depp, I'm sorry, I'm just like back on Deppin. But he is a guy that- Is he such a good wrestler? He is, he needs to be signed immediately.
00:50:38
Speaker
to NXT, yeah, where he too one day can join Retribution. See, Deppin would be a great member of Retribution, because him standing next to Dijak, the size difference is going to be hilarious. I'm into it.
00:50:54
Speaker
Name him. I legitimately enjoyed this match. This was a damn good wrestling match. It was fun too. There was outside shenanigans. I'm all about that. I'm just all about Tony Deppin right now. There's a few guys that have kind of become like the gatekeepers of GCW. And those guys have become Chris Dickinson, Tony Deppin, and KTB. It seems like if you're gonna make it in GCW, you first have to go through those three guys.
00:51:26
Speaker
Well, I was impressed with what I saw in this match. My style, I guess, tends to be the back end of these matches that you sent, and your style is the front three. Should I have not stacked the front so heavy with the violence? No, I think you handled it as good as you could have. I think getting the ugly shit out of the way first and then being like, here, you're more comfortable with this, right?
00:51:57
Speaker
I could have saved the best for Schlack. I mean, you could have alternated too, but that would have meant switching between multiple pay-per-views, which would have been a pain in the ass. I tried to just give you pay-per-views where you could just click through the time stamps. I appreciated it, but this was also advertised as, let's check out the best of the indies. Just kidding. GCW on their worst behavior.
00:52:23
Speaker
Yeah, this was pretty much, hey, if you had checked out the rest of those paper views, all of them you would have seen Effie, you would have seen Alley Cat, you would have seen all those people that I named last week. But, if I had shown you those, you wouldn't have gotten introduced to JJ Escobar. L. Schlacko. Where's he rank on the PWI list?
00:52:51
Speaker
That is a great question. Is Schlack in the top 500? Oh, shit. If Dan the dad's in there, Schlack has a chance. I gave a very enthusiastic fist pump when I said that.
00:53:12
Speaker
But yeah, before we get out of here, I do want to say I have, I've not gotten caught up completely on the G1, but I did watch a little bit of it.
Excitement for G1 Climax Matches
00:53:20
Speaker
And I was so happy to see Suzuki versus Ishii again in round one. It doesn't matter how many times that match happens, it's going to be like brand new every single fucking time.
00:53:32
Speaker
I saw some some people tweeting about that this morning while I was at work because obviously that was wrapping up right around the time as I was starting my shift. But somebody pointed out that they feel like this year's G1 is almost a sequel to last year's what feels like they're picking up a lot of the storylines from last year.
00:53:53
Speaker
Is that fair to say? I don't know. I don't know. It's been, I've honestly like I've had my time off from New Japan for a while and the G1 is where I'm jumping back in and I'm kind of just, I've been picking and choosing matches. So I'm not, uh, I can't tell you that Derek. I don't know. Here's a real fun question to ask. When's the next time I'm going to see you? Huh?
00:54:23
Speaker
I mean, technically we could see each other, I guess, anytime. Flights are $5 right now, man. I don't know if you've heard. You're risking everything, but it's worth it. Now's the best time to come to Nashville. Is it? Is it really? I've got nothing going on. Come hang out. That's true. I do have a vacation coming up here soon.
00:54:54
Speaker
So what do we wanna do for next week's episode? Other than read some sweet erotic fan fiction? Well, that's a good question. I mean, we did, we always record this after we watch AEW, so I feel like I need to mention that Eddie Kingston versus Moxley was pretty fucking awesome tonight. I think that Moxley and Kingston have really natural chemistry together. Is that fair? Did you feel that too when they went nose to nose?
00:55:23
Speaker
Oh yeah, it kind of, remember when Kingston said to Cody, he was like, this is the first time you're in the ring with a man. And then Cody went home and dyed his hair a different color and came back and was like, does this work? Well, this just looked like two fucking men beating the shit out of each other. I did enjoy that Brody Lee Orange Cassidy match.
00:55:51
Speaker
I don't know, AEW's got some good stuff going on right now. I'm excited for eventually getting the FTR versus best friends. Very much so. Do you think that gets saved for a pay-per-view down the line or do you think we get that sooner?
00:56:06
Speaker
I don't know if that'll be a pay-per-view match and I'm sure maybe it'll be on one of those big dynamites. I do know that whatever tension that you see they're continuing to do this shit with hangman and Kenny where they're having Kenny sit in for commentary on hangman matches and I thought hangman's match against evil Uno was really good too by the way that not that's not gonna get enough credit but I thought that was a damn good match I thought that was one of the best evil Uno matches I had seen I
00:56:33
Speaker
Yeah I agree it actually it actually got me going. I got erect. I am loving that they're having Kenny sit out there all the shit that's going on with the Bucks right. Bucks being complete fucking dickheads and breaking Tony Chavani's phone and all this stuff and then Kenny's out there kind of walking this line of like like Kenny's Kenny's going to turn.
00:57:00
Speaker
It's going to happen. It was like a month and a half ago when he fucking randomly beat up Marco stunt. Like he's, he's gonna turn, but they're taking their sweet ass time with it and I dig it. Um, so having him sit in and act like his partnership with hangman's over, but it's mutual and he doesn't hold any ill will. I dunno. I'm digging. I dunno. We'll see where it goes, but I'm having fun.
00:57:24
Speaker
The show continues to be great. I'm enjoying, it is probably the most enjoyable weekly wrestling show around. Yes. And how many are there? 13? I don't know. Is NWA still doing a show?
00:57:47
Speaker
Aren't they done? Didn't something happen with them? I don't I don't know, man. We've been busy. Well, I know Ring of Honor's got a tournament going impact. I don't know stuff. Impact, I would I would absolutely check out an impact pay-per-view if they weren't forty dollars. I'm sure they've still got some oilists that they're making money off of. Hey, GCW that I like about. I know.
00:58:19
Speaker
So, Kylie Rae's over there. I forget that. Yeah. Garrett. Do you feel like we're- Take us out of here. Yeah. Hey, thanks for tuning in everybody. This one wrapping up a little early or just right on time.
00:58:36
Speaker
Kind of right on time. Right on time. Hey, leave us a review on iTunes and we'd love you for it. We're, you know what? We're not even really doing social media anymore. It doesn't matter. I've been doing some social media the last couple days. Okay. Well, Derek is at Halloween Halpin. I am at Gartet on social media. Feel free to give us a follow on, I haven't touched Instagram in forever. Should we do that more? We probably should, right?
00:59:03
Speaker
Yeah, I booted up our Twitter the other day after not having it on my phone for a long time, because I was afraid that I wouldn't remember the password, but I remembered the password. Yeah, I think the problem is I'd like to hang out with you here, and then I forget to do the social media.
00:59:20
Speaker
We're putting out episodes though. Why don't you give a shout out to all the freaking people that have been downloading episodes? Yeah, this has been one of the biggest months we've had as far as downloads go. I don't know what caused it, but you guys have been showing up. We've got a lot of new listeners that have been coming in. I appreciate you for checking us out. We'll be back next week. Hit our goddamn music.